Definitions of Mad Woman

Here one day, Gone the next....

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 20:38:00 +0000

All day I have been thinking about Halloween and how funny the process of preparing for a holiday is. For weeks prior whether it be Thanksgiving, Christmas, a birthday you are preparing, getting ready for it, looking forward to it and just like that it's over. All that climax and gone. Isn't that how we are so many times in our lives, depending on the season we are in, we focus all our efforts to those few things aspects or moments and just like that the tide changes and its over. Life is full of so many crazy changes, some good, some bad, some just because but its how we deal with the situations we are in and not waste all our efforts on something that is just for a moment.

Halloween...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 20:31:00 +0000

Who doesn't like the idea of dressing up for one night like someone else. Whether a vampire or a story book character. You are taken out of your element and many people mind find it childish but to me its so much fun and I love Halloween and cannot wait until next year.

I miss Halloween already!

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 20:29:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 06:25:00 +0000

So funny how life throws u curve balls....but u are the pitcher of ur own game...

A little tempranillo never hurt nobody ;)

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 06:34:00 +0000

Switchfoot -"This is Home" - THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 21:20:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 20:39:00 +0000

Without u, I smile more, I'm less stressed & I'm finally able to be myself. Sometimes u have to move on, to feel free.

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 20:17:00 +0000

Kings Of Leon - Notion

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:58:00 +0000

Through the rabbit hole...and back...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:58:00 +0000

What happens when curious Alice finally gives into herself and jumps through that rabbit hole? It is a detour with many twists and turns. At times she felt scared, sad, alone, and once she discovered how far away from home she was she desperately wanted to find her way back. Her decision to go in that rabbit hole can be compared to our own wrong decisions and the detours we take in our own lives at times. Only Alice went through her detour and managed to come back in one piece to the world she left behind untouched. She came out the other side and everything was just as she left it except her. Ideal situation don't you think? Make a decision that takes you off course and yet the world remains the same waiting for your return only your smarter and stronger from what you had just been through. Unfortunately this world is full of consequences, a give for every take. Opportunity costs of taking a risk could be positive or negative but one thing we know for sure is nothing stays the same. When you come out of that rabbit hole there is whole different world waiting for you. I am no expert since I have just recently emerged from my own rabbit hole and plopped into a world I don't recognize where everything is different and am really just trying to redefine what took me there and who I am now because of it. I do know that although at times I wish I could just rewind and have one more chance at it, knowing all I know now, I can't. It has to be about moving forward without looking back because before you know it you will be facing another rabbit hole. There is no way to proof anything in life and life is about taking chances and risks but maybe its also about knowing when to pull the parachute when things have gone a little too array.

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:38:00 +0000

YNV44FEBNSVG

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:07:00 +0000

The end or the beginning...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 20:54:00 +0000

It has been my experience that in life some endings are sad because they were actually an end to something fantastic in our lives...a great trip, an awesome school year, a great project...and some endings are sad because of conformity, because its harder to evolve than to rot in the same horrible situation we have become accustomed to. The last few months have been that kind of ending for me. I think back on a time before the x-factor and remember how many opportunities I had to escape and how I always stayed or got sucked back in that at the end of the day I gave up and became one with it, but my inner ninja hadn't given up the fight just yet and finally freed myself from said situation. It was to my surprise how hard rebuilding myself was, how much easier it felt to just go back although I was so unhappy. I think we all do this, conform, give up, take the easy although unhappy road just so we don't have to do anything hard. Come on people thats sick don't you think? I mean, it could be a relationship, a job, a location, whatever and I never really realized how common this is until it happened to me on such an extreme level. Why do we do this to ourselves? We have one life to live and we waste it being miserable. I know have for many years and I am giving this living to my full potential thing a shot. Not sure what that is quite yet but I am going to follow my heart from now on, my instincts, and try my damn hardest to make decisions not based out of fear of being hard or difficult. Let's see where this road takes me. So in reality the end has really become a beginning. Is your soul screaming inside your body? I know mine does...I am not living the life I am supposed to be living. Imagine what the world would be if we all were living the lives we supposed to be living...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:11:00 +0000

and just like that in a minute your popsicle sticks turn right back into stones lol....

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 04:24:00 +0000

Its so crazy how sometimes u think ur building a wall of stone and with one blow of "it" ur stones turn into popcicle sticks...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 19:37:00 +0000

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT AN RSS FEED IS! WOW THAT ONLY TOOK LIKE 2 YEARS OF NOT REALLY RESEARCHING AND ABOUT 2 HOURS OF SELF "TUTORIALING"(WHICH I KNOW IS NOT A WORD BUT FITS PERFECT)! AHH AWESOME LOL!

Crazy is only the beginning...

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:39:00 +0000

So basically I have roamed this earth for 30 years, and I am still trying to figure this all out, figure myself all out, and what my place is in this crazy world. It has for me been an unending maze of twists and turns, some involuntary and some out of my own devices.Which is most appartantly made my life journey much harder. I am by definition a typical "self-sabatoger". We have all made bad decisions and for some people its just a momentary lapse in judgement and for some like myself its a recurring behavior making it well a problem. Well in this 30th year of my life although I am deprecate and old and about to drop dead at any minute, I have decided due to some very recent life altering, but not defining situations I found myself in, or should I better say I put myself in, have decided to try my very hardest try to reverse this pattern and with all hope make my life a much better story than what is has been. I know you are all waiting for some big reveal but I really don't have one. I just know from this moment, I am going to just accept that I am what I am, and I don't want to be anything else then maybe I wont feel the need to punish myself with idiotic behavior. Why do we self-sabotage our own happiness sometimes? Is it a conscious behavior or some kind of internal self-loathing? Is it possible to change our behavior patterns and learn to just accept and love ourselves just like we were created?

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:24:00 +0000

Cant live without my coffee, my journal, and my extremely cute baby pink netbook!

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:19:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 06:00:00 +0000

Just trying out the mobile feature to this blog site

Who do I think I am??

noreply@blogger.com (NicoleL) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 21:26:00 +0000

So it should be said that I am probably not really crazy just feel like I am most of the time. I have for as long as I can remember have compared and measured myself according to anything and everything. After the many up and downs I have had due to this incessant behavior, I had an epiphany. I thought to myself maybe I am supposed to be just the way I am. Crazy thought but maybe just maybe I should just be me. So this is blog is dedicated to the breaking of boundaries that constrict us everyday, whatever that may be to you and whatever that may be to me. For now in this moment it feels pretty liberating to just accept and I just want to write about whatever comes to my mind as it comes to my mind. Maybe someone out there will find my rantings to make sense. lol. So why is it that we are always compartmentalizing ourselves and trying to define ourselves by one aspect of us when maybe we are better as the sum of all parts?