This year, Dekko has a lot of wonderful new items, from hand-crafted metal jewelry to baby clothes. You can check them out in person at our open house, this Saturday, December 2! Be sure to visit during the Mainx24 festival.
What: Dekko Trading Open House
When: Saturday, December 2, 10:00am – 4:00pm
Where: Dekko Warehouse, 1458 Madison St. (just off Main Street) Chattanooga, TN 37408
Who: Everyone!
Photo credits: Susie Helton, Daniel Foley
Writing credit: Rachel Lonas
Photo credit: Samantha Willis
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Get a head start on the holiday season by coming to our OPEN HOUSE in Chattanooga on Friday 5-8 p.m. and Saturday 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. (Dec 2 and 3). We're at a new location, 1458 Madison St (just off Main Street) in Chattanooga, TN 37408. We hope to see you there! Tell your friends too!
Here in the U.S. (particularly in the South) it's been fall festival season. If you are not familiar with these annual celebrations, they’re times where schools and local communities come together to play games, enjoy the weather, catch up, eat, and shop, with pumpkins, apples, mums, and burlap as the décor staples.
All of the festivities are generally open to the public, so anyone can join in and see what’s going on—more to the point, so they can come and spend money on games, crafts, and raffles to fund clubs, teams, or academic programs. It’s a nice quid pro quo for those of us who come to these events too. The vendor’s selections give us a good excuse to make a head start on holiday shopping.
My favorite thing about these events is the unique selection you find coming out of the woodwork. How do you decide what you truly want to buy and filter out all the rest? Fall festivals bring out just a taste of the anxiety that I hear people from the majority world experience when they come to America for the first time -- they are overwhelmed by the choices. They go to the grocery store and see 200+ boxes of cereal. They want to go out to eat, and they have 50-100 restaurants in a 10-mile radius to choose from. For me at the festival, I can purchase lotions, vitamins, hand painted decorations, fragrant oils and diffusers, HUGE hair bows for my girls (did I mention we lived in the South?). I can also find local services to connect with for braces, insurance, tutoring, and the list goes on. Sometimes there are even multiple vendors with similar products. So do I choose based on price? Personal story? Size? My mood and intuition? Who I need to buy for?
Luckily, there’s a way I always come around to a decision. My husband tells me that I’m “anthropologically curious”—I like knowing what makes people tick and what motivates them. So I talk to a vendor and know why they are selling the item and what drives them to spend their free time at a weekend booth. That wooden snowman might be made from a tree in the vendor’s backyard because they find art therapeutic. It could be that the items were crafted by Syrian refugees. Maybe profit from these products help supplement their one-income household. To me, the value of a product is enhanced by the story. When I buy the item I get to pass on the item and the story to the loved recipient.
Folks who choose to buy Dekko products are impressed with the quality (which I can personally vouch for!), but also deeply care about supporting the artisans behind the product. When people ask our Dekko customers about their earrings or sari pillows, it means they get to tell others that they represent a dignifying job for an artisan mother or an education for a child in India who would otherwise not have it. It’s a chance for others to look at the item and at the same time beyond the item and that’s the true spirit of gift giving.
This holiday season, give the story of Dekko.
Remarkable (and a bit odd) as it is, food on television (food we can’t even taste!) has taken on a life of its own in the West. Our family doesn’t watch much TV, but when we do watch something together, it is often a cooking show. It’s entertaining but also practical, as we regularly put ingredients, recipes, and techniques from these shows into our meal rotation.
Lately, one of our favorites has been the BBC’s Great British Bake Off, which airs in the U.S. on PBS as The Great British Baking Show. Contestants are usually encouraging to one another, and the judges are honest and fair, gently goading everyone to do their best.
A recent season we watched had contestants from all over the U.K., including Chetna Makan (pic above) who grew up in India. Every creation she made throughout the series contained a nod to her Indian upbringing, helping her stand out among some of the more traditional contestants. She confidently infused classic cakes, cookies, and breads with cardamom, garam masala, mangoes, and more, usually meeting with much praise and success from previously skeptical judges (and she just published her first cookbook!).
Also we are LOVING her necklace in the photo above (!!)
Watching the way she wove together her culinary heritage with Western baking styles reminded us of the difficulty and skill of communicating and working across cultures. Because she was both unashamed of her background and willing to learn from the traditions of her adopted home, she was able to mesh the cultures together in such a way that both shone through. She also has a Youtube channel with helpful videos on how to make her recipes, if you are intimidated at the thought of making Indian dishes.
That’s a little slice of what the Dekko team tries to accomplish with the products we produce. On the one hand, everything you buy from us is handmade in India by our artisan families. On the other, our products also fit the needs and styles of our customers in the West. It’s a beautiful marriage of cultures that tries to bring the best of both together; learning from each other without losing what makes each one unique.
This world is full of sights, sounds, smells, and colors. In every little corner of the globe, people put these things together in astonishingly different ways. In today’s global economy, the corners get folded together, often bringing new and beautiful things out of these differences. Why not wander over and “have a dekko” at some of our artisans’ handiwork to add a bit of Indian flavor to your life? Or take a look at some of our favorite Indian recipes from our blog.
]]>So what's happening right now?
It’s Open House Time!
We are especially excited about our Open House on June 18th. We’ll have new Dekko products to feature, but this isn’t just a chance to shop for impact, it’s going to be fun, too. There will be a grill with hamburgers and hot dogs, music, snacks, and a special treat—our operations managers (Shane and Alicia) are in from India to answer all your Dekko merchandise questions.
Quite often through the blog and social media, we share about the impact your purchases make for our Dekko artisans. This Saturday, you have the unique opportunity to pick up any item at the Open House and say to Shane & Alicia, “Tell me about the women who made these scarves,” or “What is the significance behind the design in the silver bracelet?” If you’ve purchased items through the site or at a previous open house, they would love to tell you the story behind about those items, too! This really is a special opportunity to experience some of the cross-cultural partnership that goes on in India when you browse Dekko items.
So what new Dekko items are to be featured?
Pillows made from recycled saris...
Beautiful hand-carved stamps...
And a great selection of new jewelry, scarves, paper diaries, and more you’ve come to expect from Dekko...
My husband is a foodie, and I have become much more of one since marrying him. He loves to cook and tries his hand at making ethnic dishes all the time. The kids aren’t always as gung-ho about it as we are, but they have learned through his cooking about ingredients like coconut milk, fish sauce, turmeric, ancho chiles, etc.
Not everyone enjoys cooking, so perhaps try a trip to the grocery store and buy one ingredient you’re unfamiliar with, red lentils, say. When you get home, type it into Pinterest or Allrecipes.com and make a commitment to cook something new one night or for a potluck! It’s been said that smells tend to evoke the most potent memories, so creating those memories around food is a great way to open up a new world (and maybe your sinuses) for your children. Try some of our favorite recipes too!
Audio
Learning another language is one of the best ways to “think the thoughts” of another culture. However, when you’re busy and your children are little, you can’t just sit down and teach a language to them. I talked with some Spanish teachers, and they said the best thing for young ones is to teach simple vocabulary, mostly through song. Now that’s something I can do. Toddler tunes were numbing our brains anyway, so why not vary it up and do it in another language? Our library has supplied us with a “Playground” series from many different cultures, countries, and continents. We’re all about free resources. Our oldest enjoys figuring out what the songs mean thanks to the translations in the liner notes.
It doesn’t stop with languages. We’ve found (again, free from the library!) the Story of the World series to be a helpful tool to getting some world history in with a big dose of storytelling. Understanding a culture’s past is crucial to understanding its present and future, and this series has been of tremendous help in unlocking art and mythology for the kids.
Enjoy Cultural Events
Sometimes, learning finds you. Keep your eyes open for cultural events going on around town and free admission days for museums. Our city started an annual event called Culturefest where they have a parade of nations (like the Olympics) and booth set up with information, and global food tastings. We also went to last month’s Open House for Dekko Trading here in Chattanooga. Three generations of my family (my mom, me, and my girls) were there to try, buy, and drink some deliciously spicy chai.
If you feel like the world is passing you by, look around and you might discover instead that it’s on your doorstep and at your fingertips. Before you know it, you AND your children will be global citizens :)
Photo credit: Rachel Lonas
With that in mind, we’re excited to offer our Spring Open House this weekend, April 1st and 2nd. Our first event in November last year was a big hit, so if you came then, we are ready to show off brand new items from our skilled Indian artisans!
Here’s a visual feast of what you can expect to see if you come!
Scarves sewn from vibrant Indian saris
Sleek Necklaces
Certified-cuddly Baby booties
That’s not all, though: remember these amazing Jeera Biscuits from last time (see recipe)? We’re going to be serving up more tasty Indian treats for our guests this time as well!
Here’s the scoop:
As always, with every purchase from Dekko, you know that the clothing, jewelry, and gifts you buy are not only giving you joy, but transforming lives in India.
We can’t do what we do, unless you buy, enjoy, and share our artisan families’ handiwork.
We hope to see you there this weekend. Stop in and say “hello”. Stay and enjoy the cookies and conversation. Take home the joy of knowing that the beautiful pieces you just bought are giving the gift of hope to the ones who made them!
Photo credit: Susie Helton, Rachel Lonas
The same types of generational workmanship are happening here in India, too. Over here, our friend Hanif may not have a prominent sign with the family name repeated four times, but people in the area know his family and his trade as a tailor. They know he’s very skilled because he learned the work from his father and relatives. They know Hanif's wife, who works in their home sewing as an additional means of income. They know his children, some of whom can attend school and some cannot—it all depends on the number and type of jobs he is able to get.
So why is it that we can see the true value in some things more readily than others? We can look at a Pieter Bruegel painting and instantly recognize the years of practice it must have taken to master his craft. You could even say that his artistry “ran in the family” as his father was an artist, too. But art takes many forms, and sometimes the better a craftsman gets at his chosen work, the less noticeable his “hand” is in the finished product.
Do we think this way about the things we buy? Can we look at a piece of jewelry and know the generations of knowledge that was passed down in order to make it? Do we look at its components, and wonder how the artist knew animal bone could be so sturdy and beautiful if polished or how a seamstress figured out a particular stitch would hold the best in a particular cloth?
Recently, we saw the sign above and couldn’t help but think about our artisan families. What is a person’s work worth?
We work to live. True, but there is more to the transaction than this simple math. Should our work be sold to the highest bidder, a straight swap of services for compensation? Or does the act of employment itself create something greater than either party can produce alone?
Any craftsmanship or skilled labor is art in the sense described here, and in whatever capacity we are employed, we are selling a piece of ourselves. It is the value created by our knowledge, experience, strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures that makes buying our labor worthwhile.
Work runs deeper than paying the bills. Difficult and stressful though it may be at times, it is a good gift. Perhaps if we remembered that the work of our hands is an extension of our person, we could serve others and be served with greater honor and love.
We see the art of Dekko products from the artisan’s perspective and the generations it took to make it. We hope you can too.
Photo credits: Rennie Abraham, Justin Lonas
The main star of the show - our artisan families. Their stories, their hopes and dreams reflected in every product. We wouldn't be doing what we're doing, if it weren't for these amazing and brave families. Never forgotten, always close to our hearts.
In every bracelet, scarf or diary, you and I stay connected to these beautiful people in our global Dekko family. Love being a part of the local AND global community! Check out their new creations here.
Want to host a Dekko home party? We can help!
Photo credits: Susie Helton, Kay Newton
One of our favorite ways to learn about India and culture is to watch Bollywood films. Of course, there are a fair share of ridiculous movies, but there are also some poignant and deeply moving ones...
]]>A fun and mischievous story, this one's a classic. Millions of Indians adore this movie and know all the songs by heart.
It begins with a special friendship between Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan) and Anjali (Kajol). Their friendship is disrupted with the arrival of a lovely new student, Tina (Rani Mukerji). Things progress quickly. Rahul and Tina decide to marry, and Anjali, in her broken state, flees. Rani never recovers after the birth of their first child, Anjali. On her deathbed, she writes eight letters to little Anjali, one for each birthday. In the eighth letter, she challenges her to find her daddy’s old friend, Anjali (her namesake). From this point, an adventure unfolds.
Three Idiots (2009)
Three Idiots is a favorite for many middle-class Indians and foreigners. It focuses on the insanely high pressure situation that college students face in India.
This film follows the story of three engineering students as they pursue excellence in their field. One of the students has a passion for science and invention and irritates the staff by his non-conventional answers and ideas. He challenges the traditional ideas that force students to live for the purpose of passing exams, getting high paying jobs, or pleasing their parents. This film presents the serious impact that these societal pressures can have on students. It is profound and hilarious at the same time.
Chak De India (2001)
This movie is fun for the whole family and deals with the tension between regionalism and national loyalty in sports.
Kabir Khan (Shah Rukh Khan), who plays India’s field hockey team captain, has missed his opportunity to score a penalty shot in the Pakistan vs India world cup match, which cost his team the victory. His reputation is muddled as people accuse him of siding with Pakistan, a life long rival of India in more than just athletic fields.
Several years later, after an extended break from field hockey, Khan is given the opportunity to prove himself by coaching an Indian national women field hockey team. The development of the team from a bunch of disconnected individuals proud of their different states to a cohesive India team is quite amusing. A unified group is more than just the sum of its parts.
Black and White (2008)
This is a powerful film set in New Delhi, India. An Afghan suicide bomber arrives in the city pretending to be an Indian who had lost his parents in communal (Hindu/Muslim) riots when he was a child.
A Hindu University professor, who teaches Urdu, takes him under his wing and promises to help him adjust and find work. As Independence day draws closer, and the plan for the bombing solidifies, the suicide bomber finds his beliefs and ideas challenged by the love he sees between the professor's family and their Muslim and Hindu neighbors in the old city. He begins to see that everything is not as black and white as he had supposed.
Barfi (2012)
Barfi is a heartwarming story of a dumb and mute boy (Barfi) and two women that he cared for. In the beginning, Barfi falls in love with Shruti, a wealthy engaged woman, who also comes to love him. However, she continues with her family’s plan for her to marry an unpleasant rich man. Her mother assumed that Barfi, as a man with special needs, could not provide for her, and he would be an embarrassment to her family.
Years later, she reenter’s Barfi’s life and finds him caring for Jhilmil, his childhood friend who has Autism. Jhilmil, who loves Barfi, is threatened by Shruti’s reappearance and grows jealous of Shruti. She disappears. As Barfi ad Shruti search for Jhilmil, Shruti can see that she missed her opportunity of a pure and beautiful love. Barfi now loves Jhilmil.
This movie reminds us that wealth, status, and the approval of people do not create happiness. Sometimes those with simpler lives and thankful hearts turn out happiest!
Jodha Akbar (2008)
This film is based off of 16th Century history. The colors and scenes are brilliant in their attempt to portray what royal life in the northwest Indian state of Rajasthan would have looked like.
During the Mughal Empire, the Muslim Emperor Akbar (Hrithik Roshan) was known for his kindness towards his Hindu subjects. In order to forge an alliance with the established local Rajput leadership, he married a Hindu Rajput princess (Aishwarya Rai). This film paints a beautiful picture of how that relationship may have developed.
Bajrangi Bhaijan (2015)
This is a powerful film that has just come out this year. Highly recommended!
Shahida is a Pakistani girl who has been mute her whole life. In a last ditch effort to find healing for her daughter’s infirmity, her mother makes a bold decision to take Shahida into the mysterious and foreboding land of India. After the visit, during their train travel back towards Pakistan, Shahida is separated from her sleeping mother. When her mother awakens near the Pakistan border, she is horrified to discover Shahida is not on the train.
A sweet story unfolds as Shahida is discovered by Pawan Chaturvedi , AKA Bajrangi (Salman Khan). Initially, Pawan tries to rid himself of the nuisance. However, he soon realizes that he and the little girl, whom he dubbed “Munni,” have formed a bond. Over time, Pawan, and his Fiance, Rasika, discover that Munni is not Indian but Pakistani. This creates a stir in Rasika’s family. From this point, Pawan commits himself to returning Munni to her mother and father in Pakistan, inspite of great financial cost and risk to his life. This is a beautiful movie that could stir up emotion even in the toughest hearts.
Just made this recipe last night! It's easy to throw together, with a taste of Thailand and India. One of our Home Party experts serves it at her parties...
]]>Check out some of our favorite photos from around town recently. Color, history, and texture around every corner. It's hard not to be inspired in this amazing country. India!!
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Photo credits: Brady Black, Sylvia King, Alicia Hatton
Two of our Home Party experts share their tips and experience on how to host a Home Party, have fun, and make a little cash too....
]]>Should you drive defensively or offensively in India? Does a green light really mean Go? We have survived so far, and our advice here...
]]>Survival tips for driving a scooter in India (by Jane Mellema)
Always expect the unexpected.
Learn to love horns. Honk as you approach intersections. Honk as you pass. Imagine your horn as an invisible magical shield and cling to its imaginary power. Remember, not all horns are directed at you, but most probably are.
Always drive extremely defensively. Keep your guard. You never know what vehicle, person or animal may pop (or poop) out of nowhere in front of you to test the quality of your brakes.
Always drive offensively, without thinking. If you hesitate, you will never move.
When turning onto a road, never look to see who is coming. Just drive out. You have the right of way. Or is there a right of way? Just GO! The others will maneuver around you.
If you find yourself caught in a swarm of motorcycles and scooters, get out quickly. It can easily become an erratic, dangerous mess of maneuvering individuals.
Just because you have a green light, don’t assume it’s a straight shot. Proceed with caution.
When attempting to cross busy streets, slip in with a pack of vehicles as they inch across the road; traffic is more likely to slow down for a group.
It is okay to drive into oncoming traffic temporarily until you get a chance to merge over onto the left side of the road.
Remember, driving is not a game.
And if you have a problem with anger or cursing, you should not drive in India!
Photo credit: Brady Black
Recently I interviewed Insha* about her schooling and her hopes for the future. She just received her exam results, and we are thrilled to say she passed!
]]>Insha* is daughter of one of our lady artisan managers. She is a bright teenager with a keen mind and excellent work ethic. She is not a whiner. Recently I interviewed Insha about her schooling and her hopes for the future. She just received her exam results, and we are thrilled to say she passed! She can continue her studies to the next level! What are her hopes? What are her dreams? Because of who she is, it seems that her hopes could become reality. We can't clap hard enough!!
My questions and comments will be in bold print and Insha’s in normal print.
Jane: How did your exams go?
Insha: All went well!
What was the best?
Sanskrit, yes. Sanskrit and SST – History.
Now which class are you about to begin?
Eleventh
When you were young, you went to school?
Yes
Until what age?
There in the village? I studied until the 6th class.
How old were you?
Twelve.
After that, you stopped?
Yes
Why did you stop?
Because we moved to the big city.
And why did you come to the big city?
Difficulties
(we know that it was because of financial and health difficulties that the family moved).
And when you were young, how did you like school?
I liked it.
And when did you start again?
When I was fifteen.
So between twelve to fifteen, how did you like it?
It was strange. For three years I didn’t go to school.
The first day you went back, what were you feeling?
I was feeling afraid?
Of what? People?
Kids, teachers, how the studies would be.
And in the beginning, was it hard?
Yes.
It changed?
Yes
When did it become better?
After ten to fifteen days.
Only ten to fifteen days?! Why did it get better so quickly?
I found friends?
You found good friends?
Yes
They helped you and now you have caught up?
Yes
What is your favorite subject?
Sanskrit, Hindi, also science.
What is the hardest?
Math
Why?
The questions are difficult
You like math?
It’s hard
So it’s not good? She shakes her head
When you finish, what do you want to be?
A doctor.
When you weren’t in school, what were you thinking about the future?
I wasn’t thinking anything at all about the future, Jane sister.
What were you thinking?
I was just working and passing time.
And now what are you thinking about the future, about marriage and children?
She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head.
The coming days?
More study. More study.
So no marriage?
Just study
How long will it take?
Five years after school
So this is your dream? She nods
My dad liked it very much that you wanted to be a doctor. He said your mind is bright, and it is possible. For this to happen, what will need to be done?
(my dad is a doctor and visited in February and met Insha – he was impressed by her)
For this, you need to study bioscience.
And you like that?
Yes
So this is a five year program?
No – not at this school. I will have to go to college. In this school, two years, then after that a three year college.
And after that, doctor?
Yes
So will you need to save money?
For whom? Papa and my brother will…..
So they will pay for all? They like that you want to be a doctor?
Yes, it is papa’s dream.
That’s great! Do you think it is harder for girls to become a doctor or to study?
No, if you will study, nothing is difficult.
And after you are a doctor, will you marry?
No
Never?
Now there is no plan, Jane sister.
So when you were younger, when you went back to school, how did that happen? Did someone tell you you should go?
A teacher came to the store.
To teach?
To get clothes made. At this time, I went to the shop a lot to learn the work, to learn to sew. The teacher saw me and asked papa, “who is that?” Papa said “It’s my daughter.” She asked “she’s not studying?” “no” papa said, “she has stopped school and is working.” The teacher said “put her in school.” Papa said “I will.” It happened like this continually and two years passed. Every week she came. Eventually, she took me.
So after two years, Papa let you go and he thought it was a good idea?
Yes
And at the same time, your sister?
Yes, both
So now you don’t feel fear?
No
Good. Sometimes at the beginning, new things can be scary or cause tension.
Yes. But slowly, slowly it will be okay.
How encouraging to see that Insha has a dream, and her father wants to make it happen! There are many fathers in Indian culture (especially in poor and uneducated communities) who do not find education of any value for their daughters. Marriage is what these girls are destined for. We rejoice when girls and young women are given the opportunity to study and have their minds opened and their worlds expanded! We can't clap hard enough!
Photo Credit: mrbichel via Compfight cc
An Indian wedding in the village. One of our artisan's sons was getting married! I had no idea what lay in store for me...
]]>One of our artisan's sons was getting married, and I was happy to attend the multi-day affair. We arrived in the groom's village the day before the wedding. I assumed that all the wedding events would take place at the groom’s family home in the village. I was wrong. We had to travel by jeep three hours farther to reach the bride’s village where the main wedding event would be held.
Against the family’s wishes, my friend and I had decided to stay at a hotel in town rather than the family’s village home. We were concerned that if we did not rest well with the fifty or so relatives in the home, we would find the wedding day unbearably long. It was decided that the procession of jeeps would stop and pick us up on the way to the bride’s village. We wondered how long it would take to get the whole family rounded up. The hotel clerk helped us figure that it would be at least 2 pm before they would come for us.
An uncle of the groom told us he would come take us to his home at noon to pass time until the wedding procession arrived. At 11 am, we heard a knock on the door. We were not ready! It was the uncle. He asked if we wanted to go sight seeing. The wedding was our priority, so to conserve energy, we declined. We reminded him of his plan to come get us at noon. When twelve o’clock rolled around, we were dolled up in our sparkly wedding suits and sitting in the lobby of the hotel. After waiting a half hour, we decided to go back to our room.
As time ticked on we thought, maybe the uncle really did not want to take us to his home? I began to fear, what if they forget us and just leave us at the hotel all day?
At 2 pm, the uncle came to the hotel to find us. When he arrived, he asked, “How would you like to get to my house?” I wondered, how do I answer that when I have no idea where you live? Shouldn’t you be the one to tell us?
He ran off and returned with an auto-rickshaw. We spent 45 minutes at his home eating snacks and talking with his wife. Soon we were back at the hotel and instructed to rest. The uncle figured the groom's family would not come until 4:30 or 5 pm.
We decided to change out of our fancy clothes to prevent wrinkling. We relaxed a bit. At 5 pm, I picked up the phone to a frantic voice that said “Hurry and be ready, somebody is on the way in a half hour.” We got dressed again. Time ticked by. 5:45. 6:00. Finally at 6:30, there was a pound on the door. The groom's mother rushed in in a panic. “It’s time to go! We need to hurry!” Here I was thinking, we’ve been waiting for you all day, and now we don’t have time to use the bathroom before we leave because you are in a hurry!?
After exiting the hotel, there was a dilemma. There was no car for us. After much drama, confusion and concern that there wasn’t room, they piled us into their jeep – we got to be with the groom’s parents! We began our journey around 7:30 pm, bouncing and jostling along the highway, packed into a jeep with the groom’s father sitting on the lap of another man in the front seat. After an hour and a half of driving, we suddenly pulled to the side of the road and parked in a line of ten jeeps that had stopped for a snack. We bumbled our way in the dark up multiple levels of stairs to the roof of a building. There were crowds of people dressed in their wedding finery eating grapes, apples, and bananas in complete darkness. Many pictures were taken at this mysterious roadside stop. After food and multiple short chats, we were herded back down the stairs and into our jeeps. We were almost to the wedding!
We reached the village at about 9:30 pm and were hustled to the rooftop where chow mein, chai and other snacks were being served. We were cornered multiple times by people who were curious about these random foreigners. After an hour of milling about on the rooftop in the crowds, we were led down the stairs onto the lawn and seated on two plastic chairs. Within minutes, 50 people had gathered in a semi circle around us and just stared. Some stared and laughed. A few were bold enough to ask questions. Some tried to sneak pictures. We were like nothing they had ever seen before.
The groom’s aunt came to find us and whisked us away from the crowd to a large meeting room. Mats and blankets were spread out, and people were sleeping. Some were sitting and talking. We were seated on plastic chairs. A group of girls gathered around us and stared.
Eventually, the groom’s mother found us. She could tell that I was frustrated with the crowds of people staring and watching, so she led us to a small closet room that was padlocked shut. She had the door unlocked and pushed us inside where there were more piles of mats and blankets. She admonished us to “rest” and shut and locked the door behind us. We were prisoners!
We lay down on the mats. Within minutes, five sets of eyes were staring at us through the barred windows. I got up and tried to tie a quilt up through the bars to block their vision. My attempt was foiled as they pulled the quilt out through the bars into the main hall. After propping a mat against the wall, I had successfully blocked the window. We had a few moments of peace.
After a half hour, the groom's mother returned and released us. It was 11:30 pm and time to eat. We sat at long tables. Though I had no appetite to eat so late at night, I struggled to get down some of the food. After a short time, we heard a commotion, and people began to run off. The groom had arrived on his horse. We joined the crowd to watch.
After dismounting, the groom was escorted to where the ceremony would be. The bride’s family dressed the bride in clothing and jewelry that the groom’s family had brought for her.
Once again, the waiting began. We were brought back to the large room with the mats, and many people were asleep. It was getting close to 2 am. My friend and I began to play games with some of the groom’s family – making little Origami type creations out of newspaper and laughing. We were waiting for the bride to get ready to leave her village.
Around 3 am, wailing was heard. The bride was crying in agony, and many others also cried. Her family had tied a red fabric over her head and picked her up to carry her out to the jeep. She would leave her family and join a new family.
We were all tired and ready to go. When the bride got in her jeep, we all began to make our way to different jeeps. Once again, we got the honor of driving with the groom’s parents. Everyone fell asleep in the jeep. We reached our hotel about 5 am and had to pound on the door to wake the hotel staff. We collapsed into our beds.
This day seemed to be removed from the normal realm of time. At times, it seemed to stretch on forever, and at other times, I could not believe it had passed so quickly. It caused me to think about weddings in my home country, and how people get frustrated if they are longer than one hour. I had to laugh as I imagined Americans taking a nap on the floor while waiting for the ceremony or waiting for the bride to leave. In a culture oriented towards efficiency and saving time, this kind of wedding would be crazy! Yet what a unique time it allowed us to have as we sat and waited with family.
Hurry up and wait. Never truer.
Shop here for one-of-a-kind scarves that this artisan family is proud to make!
Photo Credit: TimothyJ via Compfight cc</a
One of our favorite artisan families is always trying to feed us aloo paranthas (potato stuffed flat bread). Such a sweet family that has taught us heaps about hospitality...
]]>Our artisans ask me when am I going to have another child. I would be secure and happy if I had more than one child. Does being married and having sons equal happiness?
]]>Sometimes okra gets a bad rap. If you make a face when you think about okra, this recipe may very well change your mind...
]]>We need small keyholes that unlock the culture. India is such a fascinating and complex society, that sometimes confounds my Western brain...
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Most of the clothes I wear to work with our artisans are tailored for me. This is a common practice in India. After perusing a variety of fabrics, colors and designs, we purchase cloth and bring it to the tailor. One pet peeve I have is when the excitement I have about wearing a new suit is squelched by the question, “How much was that fabric?” and the response to my answer, “That was too much!” The implication often is that we as foreigners are tricked into paying too much or are just willing to pay too much. I sense my pride prickling up when I feel judged by how much I spend. Time and time again, I have been frustrated by this question (!)
One day to my surprise, I realized that this question that seemed so demeaning to me was not just aimed at foreigners. I was sitting on the floor in the home of one of our artisan ladies. She had recently become a grandmother and had a stash of gifts piled in the corner of the small room. Another local friend had come over, and our friend began to exhibit the gifts she had bought for her granddaughter. One little outfit was especially beautiful, and the guest questioned the cost. I was surprised when our artisan boldly and proudly declared the amount. A bit of pride was in her voice. Interesting. This cute little outfit was expensive, but there was no sense of shame in having paid too much.
A new realization dawned on me. People are proud when something is expensive; it shows that they could afford to pay the amount. It implies financial capability and status. They do not mind when others ask the price. In reality, there may be very little financial assets or status. But for this moment in time they have managed to save money to buy something expensive that will catch the attention of others and a moment of admiration, respect, or maybe even a bit of envy.
I appreciate these small keyholes that unlock more of the culture for me. India is such a fascinating and complex society, unfurling for those who are patient and observant. Just don't ask me what I paid for my clothing (!)
Shop here for beautiful products made by empowered Indian women, our friends!
Photo credit: Brady Black
Did you ever think that how you drink from your water bottle might reveal something about your culture and its values?
]]>Along with the snacks they had prepared, my friends offered me a water bottle taken out of their fridge. Of course I would want water! I tipped my head, lifted the bottle a few inches above my lips, and attempted to dump water into my mouth. As usual, a stream of water trickled down my chin and splashed onto my shirt. Many times I have been thankful for how fast heat dries cotton! The ladies chuckled at my attempts. Could I ever perfect this action to perform it as easily as they do? A bottle is not kept to oneself. Precious water is shared with anyone who is thirsty. Since the bottle will be passed around the group, no one touches it with their lips.
I quickly learned that if I give a toy as a gift to a small child in one of our artisan families, I might never see it in the home again. It took time for me to realize that this is probably because the toy has been passed on to other families and friends. Often when I bring gifts of food or sweets, my friends open them and quickly offer some to me. They want to share the pleasure.
One recent encounter tops my list of generosity...
I knocked on my neighbor’s door. “Come in, sit down. Chai?”
Every time I come, they seat me and offer chai. This visit had a different purpose for me; something was heavy on my mind.
As our conversation ensued, Fatima confirmed what she had told me two days before. It seemed that I would have to move unexpectedly in the next year. In a sad turn of events, my landlord had recently died, and his widow was considering moving into my apartment. After a year living there, it had just begun to feel like it was truly my home.
Fatima was obviously concerned about my plight. She began brainstorming. An apartment one floor up was free, but it would be three bedrooms and more expensive.
Fatima and her husband quickly reached a consensus. “Our daughter is gone now, and we don’t need all this space. You are welcome here.” They were very concerned about me. I was concerned too – packing up and moving is a lot of work. As they spoke, my first thought was “No, I could not live here.”
I told myself to stop thinking “no” right away and just listen. I found myself saying thank you again and again.
The proposal was that in addition to their spare bedroom, they would build a new wall, shutting out what currently was their TV/living room and sitting area. As they showed me the bedroom, they followed my eyes to the Indian style squatty potty. “We will put in a western toilet if you want it.” The balcony would be mine, and they assured me they would put in an additional kitchen if I wanted my own. A modest two-bedroom apartment could be carved out of their large three-bedroom place.
I did not need to decide at the moment. They said, "Think. If you want it, let us know".
As I walked away, the initial refusal I felt in my mind was replaced by amazement at the kindness of their offer. They would permanently alter and lessen their living space to help someone they hardly knew.
The generosity of many Indian friends has overwhelmed me. They do not cling to things with clenched fists but freely give to those who enter their lives. Their big hearts make my heart grow bigger too.
Shop here for beautiful products made by Indian artisans, our friends!
Winter is quickly leaving North India, and with it the carrots. Our favorite carrot recipe?
Carrot pudding, India style and not fat-free (!)
Taken from: http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/gajar-halwa-recipe-gajar-ka-halwa/
You people fall in love, then get married. We get married, then fall in love...
]]>*quote taken from: https://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130503105033AAJpyEb
Photo Credit: rajkumar1220 via Compfight cc]]>