Delphiki

Freebies Of The Day

2006-04-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

Free Pack Of Dentyne Soft Chew Gum

Free Samples Of Maybelline Pure. Makeup

Free Gevalia Coffee

Free Post-it Sortable Cards

Stalking celebs from the comfort of your own home...

2006-04-05T23:15:00.000-08:00

Now you can get all the celebrity stalking goodness without those messy restraining orders. Just sit back and let others do the stalking for you:

Gawker Stalker offers a forum for people to instantly post celeb locations and miscellanious info (like who they're with and what they're wearing). There's even a creepy map that plots out the exact spot where each unlucky star was spotted.

Yeah. That's some scary stuff. Well, if you're a celebrity anyway. Otherwise it's interesting in it's own weird way. Can't...stop...looking...

More:

'Clooney hatches plan to foil Gawker Stalker' -Because as everyone in Holywood knows, the best way to make something go away is to give it tons of extra press coverage.

'So Does This Mean George Clooney Won't Marry Us?' -Gawker reacts to Clooney's diabolical plans. Oh and there's t-shirts too.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-04-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

The freebies are back too...

Free Schick Quattro Midnight Razor

Free T-Shirt

Free Protein Bar

Free Sample Of Post-it Pop-Up Notes

No I'm not dead, but...

2006-04-04T20:04:00.000-08:00

...ya wouldn't know it from this blog huh? Don't worry I'm back in the swing of things now. No more letting real life get in the way of a fake one!

Seriously tho' there's more good stuff to come so stay tuned. Oh yeah and Hi to all the new readers and FeedBlitz subscribers out there.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-24T11:39:00.000-09:00

Free Bottle Of Car Polish

Free Tire Depth Gauge

Free Bag Of Purina One Cat Or Dog Food

Free One Year Subscription To Good Housekeeping

Spamusement: Insanely Funny Cartoons Inspired By Actual Spam Emails

2006-01-21T16:53:00.000-09:00

See, those 50+ spam emails you get everyday have a use after all. Don't believe me? Take a look...

Subj: Amazing, Margaret

Subj: Did you know Sprint PCS did this?

Subj: guess who :)

Subj: My Friend, You Are In Trouble

Subj: Old toy but new size

You can see the rest at spamusement.com. Don't forget to visit their 'guest strips' forum, where people post their own spam inspired cartoons.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-20T12:05:00.000-09:00

Free Coffee Mug And Coffee Sampler

Free 'Quattro For Women' Razor

Free Hat

Free 'Outdoor Adventure' Calendar

Link: Top Ten Reasons Why Nobody Reads Your Blog

2006-01-19T16:11:00.000-09:00

Check out the list at gapingvoid.com. My favorite is #5:

5. You have nothing to say.

The fact that you haven't figured this out yet surprises everyone.

Hysterical. They should really consider putting that on a t-shirt.

More:

Beauty Over Brains: How your website is judged in a matter of milliseconds...

Al-Qaeda Encourages Jihadists To Fuck Up The Alaska Pipeline

2006-01-19T13:24:00.000-09:00

Not all that surprising considering how easy it is to damage the pipeline. Remember Daniel Carson Lewis, the guy who caused the loss of 285,600 gallons of oil in 2001 simply by driving up on an ATV and shooting the pipeline? And he was drunk at the time too.

Here's more from the Anchorage Daily News:

A recent posting on a Web site purportedly affiliated with al-Qaida urges attacks against the trans-Alaska oil pipeline and Valdez tanker dock, calling on jihadists to either shower the pipe with bullets or hide and detonate explosives along its length.

...The 10-page posting includes numerous links to Web sites providing maps and other basic information about the pipeline.

Attacking oil and gas targets in the United States and other countries is key to bringing down the economy of the "American devils," the author writes, saying the message was posted in response to calls from Osama bin Laden and his top al-Qaida deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri.

The Arabic posting was discovered and translated in late December by the SITE Institute, a Washington, D.C., nonprofit organization that tracks international terrorists.

...Spokesmen for the FBI and other law enforcement and security agencies said Tuesday they were aware of the posting, but none would say whether it had prompted any extra security measures in Alaska.

...The posting suggests mujahedeen hit pipelines and other oil and gas assets in the United States, as well as in Iraq and the Caspian Sea region, as a way to hurt the U.S. economy and to gain payback for the war in Iraq.

"The bloody trash tore our children and dishonored us," it says. "This is our time to teach them a lesson in how to deal with Muslims."

It singles out the Alaska pipeline as a particularly valuable, and vulnerable, target for terror.

...The author of the Web posting suggests attackers hit the pipeline with "piercing bullets," or better yet, place explosives alongside it, especially in rural and wooded places to slow response and create fires.

...Last month, federal pipeline regulators ordered Alyeska to develop new spill cleanup drills with "terrorist attack scenarios" in mind.

Of course, let Al-Qaeda focus on the pipeline all they want if it'll divert even a small portion of their resources from 9/11-style attacks. We can always get more money, but lives once lost are gone forever.

More:

The SITE Institute -'The Search for International Terrorist Entities'

Wikipedia on the Alaska Pipeline.

Wikipedia on Al-Qaeda.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-19T13:19:00.000-09:00

Free Color Printer From Xerox

Free Kraft Cheese Nips

Free Pet Food Samples

Free Vitabath Gelee In The Fragrance Of Your Choice

Beauty Over Brains: How your website is judged in a matter of milliseconds...

2006-01-18T22:55:00.000-09:00

The bad news: Don't expect people to stick around if you've got an ugly ass, cluttered website. Not even for a second.

Researchers have found that it only takes 50 milliseconds for people to make up their mind about a site. That means that most people have already jumped to a conclusion about the content of a website before reading a single word...if they even get that far.

Here's more from nature.com:

We all know that first impressions count, but this study shows that the brain can make flash judgements almost as fast as the eye can take in the information.

The discovery came as a surprise to some experts. "My colleagues believed it would be impossible to really see anything in less than 500 milliseconds," says Gitte Lindgaard of Carleton University in Ottawa...

...Lindgaard and her team presented volunteers with the briefest glimpses of web pages...Even though the images flashed up for just 50 milliseconds, roughly the duration of a single frame of standard television footage, their verdicts tallied well with judgements made after a longer period of scrutiny.

The lasting effect of first impressions is known to psychologists as the 'halo effect': if you can snare people with an attractive design, they are more likely to overlook other minor faults with the site, and may rate its actual content (such as this article, for example) more favourably.

This is because of 'cognitive bias', Lindgaard explains. People enjoy being right, so continuing to use a website that gave a good first impression helps to 'prove' to themselves that they made a good initial decision. The phenomenon pervades our society; even doctors have been shown to follow their initial hunches, Lindgaard says, relying heavily on a patient's most immediately obvious symptom when making a diagnosis. "It's awfully scary stuff, but the tendency to jump to conclusions is far more widespread than we realize," she says.

And what's the good news? There's a few simple things that you can do to keep people from hitting that 'back' button:

...the amount of graphics on the page should be strictly limited, perhaps to a single eye-catching image.

These days, enlightened web users want to see a "puritan" approach...It's about getting information across in the quickest, simplest way possible. For this reason, many commercial websites now follow a fairly regular set of rules. For example, westerners tend to look at the top-left corner of a page first, so that's where the company logo should go. And most users also expect to see a search function in the top right.

...the other golden rule is to make sure that your web pages load quickly, otherwise your customers might not stick around long enough to make that coveted first impression. "That can be the difference between big business and no business,"

More:

-A book about the first two seconds of looking...

Web Pages That Suck -'Learn usability and good web design by looking at bad web design.'

'What Makes A Great Website?'

'Web surfers decide a site's worth in a fraction of a second: study'

'50 Milliseconds Is All You've Got'

'Spotting Web Pages That Suck'

The English Guy: '50ms To Judge A Site'

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-16T12:28:00.000-09:00

Free Vanilla Or Chocolate Shake From Ensure

Free Stickers From Backcountry Sports

Free Makeover And Color Portrait From Glamour Shots

Free Sample Of Degree Deodorant For Men

Inspirational Phrases You Will Never Hear At Work:

2006-01-15T15:38:00.000-09:00

Got this from Dave's Daily:

1. There is no "I" in "teamwork." But there is in "management kiss-up."

2. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

3. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

4. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG 14 times gives you job security.

5. If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.

6. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who oppose them.

7. 2 days without a human rights violation.

8. Your job is STILL better than asking, "You want fries with that?"

9. If at first you don't succeed, try management.

10. Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

12. Pride, Commitment, Teamwork. Words we use to get you to work for free.

13. If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.

14. Plagiarism saves time.

15. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-15T12:12:00.000-09:00

Free Pocket Planner

Free Auger Bit From Bosch

Free HP Color Inkjet Paper

2 Free Packets Of Protein Milkshake Mix

Colbert: Don't Fuck With The Truthiness

2006-01-13T23:45:00.000-09:00

Stephen Colbert (who by the way has THE funniest damn show on TV) is getting a lot of attention this week for his O'Reilly-esque 'crusade' on the Associated Press.

And what did the AP do to bring on the wrath of Colbert? You can get the whole story below in this article from the...er...AP:

(Source: AP/CNN)

Stephen Colbert on a crusade

AP overlooks him for 'truthiness'? Watch out

NEW YORK (AP) -- Stung by a recent Associated Press article that didn't credit him for coining the word "truthiness," Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert has struck back.

The world's oldest news organization, Colbert says, is the "No. 1 threat facing America."

On Wednesday evening, Colbert placed the AP atop the Threat Down segment of "The Colbert Report" show.

...In October, on Colbert's debut episode...the comedian defined "truthiness" as truth that wouldn't stand to be held back by facts. The word caught on, and last week the American Dialect Society named "truthiness" the word of the year.

When an AP story about the designation sent coast to coast failed to mention Colbert, he began a tongue-in-cheek crusade, not unlike the kind his muse Bill O'Reilly might lead in all seriousness.

"It's a sin of omission, is what it is," Colbert told The AP on Thursday. "You're not giving people the whole story about truthiness."

"It's like Shakespeare still being alive and not asking him what 'Hamlet' is about," he said.

The Oxford English Dictionary has a definition for "truthy" dating back to the 1800s. It's defined as "characterized by truth" and includes the derivation "truthiness."

Michael Adams, a visiting associate professor at North Carolina State University who specializes in lexicology, pointed to that definition and has said Colbert's claim to inventing the word is "untrue." (Adams served as the expert opinion in the initial AP story.)

"The fact that they looked it up in a book just shows that they don't get the idea of truthiness at all," Colbert said Thursday. "You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut."

Though slight, the difference of Colbert's definition and the OED's is essential. It's not your typical truth, but, as The New York Times wrote, "a summation of what (Colbert) sees as the guiding ethos of the loudest commentators on Fox News, MSNBC and CNN."

Colbert, who referred on his program to the AP omission as a "journalistic travesty," said Thursday that it was similar to the much-criticized weapons of mass destruction reporting leading up to the Iraq War.

"Except," he said, "people got hurt this time."

Fucking hillarious. Seriously, if you haven't seen the show you're missing out big time. Watch it, you'll laugh your ass off.

More:

The American Dialect Society announces it's 2005 'Word of the Year' -Okay, the only thing I find more disturbing than a whole society dedicated to 'American dialect' is...the fact that there's a whole group of people who get together every year and vote for a word.

Well, at least they picked a good one.

TV Squad: 'Do not deny Colbert's truthiness'

'Truthiness: Colbert was robbed!'

Wikipedia on The Colbert Report

The Colbert Nation Blog -Kind of disappointing really...

'All the news that's fit to mock' -"So...a news agency reported on a fake news program's tongue-in-cheek complaint about that very same news agency.

And now this newspaper's blog is reporting on the news agency's report of the fake news program's complaint about the news agency.

Nevermind the plagues and the four horsemen. This is the end."

'Overmisunderestimating Himself'

The Colbert Report Episode Guide

Blogcritics: '5 Reasons You Should Be Watching The Colbert Report'

Watch clips from The Colbert Report.

Freebies Of The Day

2006-01-13T22:15:00.000-09:00

Free Sample Of Post-it Sticky Picture Paper

Free Sample Of Dove Ultimate Clear Deodorant

Free CD From MTv

Free Nike Soccer DVD

Why I Love Hermaphrodite Polar Bears...

2006-01-13T20:53:00.000-09:00

(Source: Belfast Telegraph)

Wildlife researchers have found new evidence that Arctic polar bears, already gravely threatened by the melting of their habitat because of global warming, are being poisoned by chemical compounds commonly used in Europe and North America to reduce the flammability of household furnishings like sofas, clothing and carpets.

A team of scientists from Canada, Alaska, Denmark and Norway is sounding the alarm about the flame retardants, known as polybrominated diphenyls, or PBDEs, saying that significant deposits have recently been found in the fatty tissues of polar bears, especially in eastern Greenland and Norway's Svalbard islands.

...There is also evidence that compounds similar to the PBDEs have contributed to a surprisingly high rate of hermaphroditism in polar bears. About one in 50 female bears on Svalbard has both male and female sex organs, a phenomenon scientists link directly to the effects of pollution.

"The Arctic is now a chemical sink," declared Colin Butfield, a campaign leader for the Worldwide Fund for Nature, which last month indicated that killer whales in the Arctic were also suffering from elevated levels of contamination with fire retardants as well as other man-made compounds. "Chemicals from products that we use in our homes every day are contaminating Arctic wildlife."

I love stories like this. Yeah, you heard me. Now don't fucking go Greenpeace on me, I don't hate polar bears or anything. It's just that...well...the punchlines almost write themselves with something like this. I mean they're hermaphrodite polar bears created by toxic waste for God's sake.

Hermaphrodite polar bears. You don't even need a punchline for that.

More:

Stuck On Stupid -"What wasn't publicized about the study is that the Polar Bears are now able to walk through fire without out even a hint of anything more than a light suntan. They are also attracted to marsupials."

Twisted Sense Of Funny -"You know what? I didn't even read the whole article, but is that just the greatest headline or what? I don't know whether it would make a good title for a B level horror movie, or an Eskimo fetish porno. Either way, that is awesome."

Compass Points -"Don't Try To Burn Polar Bears, Either...Apparently you may not be able to. According to one report in the LA Times they're bioaccumulating flame retardants."

Justgoto -"You've heard about the hermaphrodite polar bears haven't you? Would that make them bi-polar bears?"

Slack LaLane -"I can just see Stan Lee giggling at the imminent creation of a new character. At first it was a male polar bear...but now, NOW it has the sex organs of both a male AND a female -- it's the Hermaphrodite Polar Bear Toxic Avenger!"

Sacred Cow Tipping -"This means I have to add a new shelf for my bear-on-bear porn collection."

Freebies Of The Day

2005-12-24T11:50:00.000-09:00

Free Upper Deck Hockey Showcase Card

Free T-Shirt Or Mug

Free Corkscrew

Free Stickers

9/11: A Magic Lesson From The President

2005-12-23T13:00:00.000-09:00

No, you're not going crazy. It's magic. Take this for example:

Yesterday the existence of this secret program was revealed in media reports, after being improperly provided to news organizations. As a result, our enemies have learned information they should not have, and the unauthorized disclosure of this effort damages our national security and puts our citizens at risk.

...The authorization I gave the National Security Agency after September the 11th helped address that problem in a way that is fully consistent with my constitutional responsibilities and authorities. The activities I have authorized make it more likely that killers like these 9/11 hijackers will be identified and located in time. And the activities conducted under this authorization have helped detect and prevent possible terrorist attacks in the United States and abroad.

This is what President Bush said after it was revealed that he had authorized illegal spying on Americans (Source: CNN.com).

Now let's set aside the fact that it's insanely easy to get a LEGAL eavesdropping request approved by the court that oversees such things. That in an emergency you can LEGALLY proceed with an unapproved wiretap as long as you give notice to the court after the fact.

Setting aside all that, a huge question remains...If he truly wasn't doing anything wrong, why did Bush have to go behind the backs of the American people to do this?

Bush's answer? You guessed it: 9/11. It's not hard to see that the tragedy of Sept. 11 is the best thing that ever happened to the Bush Administration. When confronted with such damaging truths such as, oh I don't know, let's say ordering illegal spying on U.S. citizens, all Bush has to do is wave the magic wand of 9/11 and those confronting him with the truth turn into...terrorists.

Watching all this, you're probably thinking something like: 'Hey, how'd he do that? One second I was looking at some people exposing illegal activity and the next they turned into terrorists!' or 'Wait a second, if he broke the law then how come he's not going to jail?'

No, you're not hallucinating. There's a simple answer to all your questions: it's the magic of 9/11.

Yes those poor office workers and firefighters didn't know it at the time, but they were in danger of dying for nothing. Luckily the President and those of like-mind came to the rescue and did the only thing that would bring true meaning to the tragedy of Sept. 11: use it to cover their ass and further their own agenda.

The magic of 9/11 is endless. It turns reporters into terrorists. Truths into lies. Questions into silence. It's no great surprise then that one of the very first things President Bush mentioned in response to the illegal spying scandal was 9/11. It's the magical get out of jail free card that's served him so well over the years.

Why don't more people see through this? Why isn't there a huge uproar every time some two-faced politician, especially the President, shamelessly desecrates the memory of those who died on that horrible day just to get their way??

I guess that's the magic of 9/11.

More:

'Would You Accept A Gift From Osama?'

'Bush's Snoopgate'

'Federal Judge Resigns To Protest Bush's Spying Program'

'Bush: Spying program to continue'

'Power We Didn't Grant'

The New York Times article that broke the story.

Take Action

'Bush Announces Do-Not-Wiretap List'

Things That Are Impossible To Say When You're Drunk...

2005-12-23T12:05:00.000-09:00

Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk

Innovative

Preliminary

Proliferation

Cinnamon

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity

British Constitution

Passive-aggressive disorder

Transubstantiate

Things That Are IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you

Nope, no more booze for me

Sorry, but you're not really my type

I'm not interested in fighting you.

Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing

No, I wont make any attempt to dance thanks, I have zero co-ordination.

Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to urinate over the nearest cash machine or shop front.

Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?

Freebies Of The Day

2005-12-22T16:04:00.000-09:00

Free Die Cast Racing Truck

Free Pillbox And Refrigerator Magnet

Free Gourmet Chocolate Truffles

Free Ferrari Sticker Set

Robots Take Another Step Towards True Self Awareness...

2005-12-22T15:32:00.000-09:00

Wow, an advance in robotics coming out of Japan? Now there's a huge surprise...

(Source: Discovery Channel News)

A new robot can recognize the difference between a mirror image of itself and another robot that looks just like it.

This so-called mirror image cognition is based on artificial nerve cell groups built into the robot's computer brain that give it the ability to recognize itself and acknowledge others.

Under development by Junichi Takeno and a team of researchers at Meiji University in Japan, the robot represents a big step toward developing self-aware robots and in understanding and modeling human self-consciousness.

...Humans learn behavior during cognition and conversely learn to think while behaving, said Takeno.

To mimic this dynamic, a robot needs a common area in its neural network that is able to process information on both cognition and behavior.

Takeno and his colleagues built the robot with blue, red or green LEDs connected to artificial neurons in the region that light up when different information is being processed, based on the robot's behavior.

...two red diodes illuminate when the robot is performing behavior it considers its own, two green bulbs light up when the robot acknowledges behavior being performed by the other.

One blue LED flashes when the robot is both recognizing behavior in another robot and imitating it.

Imitation, said Takeno, is an act that requires both seeing a behavior in another and instantly transferring it to oneself and is the best evidence of consciousness.

More:

Kansei: Robots Finally Get Emotions

The Age Of Cockroach Robots

Freebies Of The Day

2005-11-19T17:37:00.000-09:00

Free Mini Maglite Flashlight

Free Casino Keychain

Free Paul McCartney CD

Free Dragon Quest VIII Demo (PS2) And 'Slime Figurine'

A Dog's Diary, A Cat's Diary

2005-11-07T17:45:00.000-09:00

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

Day 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

Day 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Day 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Freebies Of The Day

2005-11-06T12:10:00.000-09:00

Free Butterball 'How to Make a Picture Perfect Turkey' DVD

Free T-shirt

Free Tea

Free Energy Drink