http://www.dallasnews.com/news/state/headlines/20120426-new-texas-law-allows-men-legally-declared-to-be-the-father-of-a-child-to-challenge-paternity.ece

In my practice I have seen so many horror stories where lives were ruined over this. In all these years, the only case I have seen where the mom hadn’t totally blocked any type of relationship between the father and the child, dad was a great dad for 16 years and then mom spitefully told the child one day, “he isn’t your real dad; you don’t have to listen to him and you don’t have to go see him any more if you don’t want to.” Talk about a messed up 16 year old. He was angry at the world until this statute came along. The associate judge denied our request for relief from this ambiguous stalemate when we first asked her to help last February (before the statute passed) because it wasn’t “in the best interest of the child.” That left mom, dad and the kid stuck for months. But in June we went back and got the order we needed. Guess what – he was the dad! The young man’s relationship with his dad was immediately healed, and with that, his relationship with his mother has started to heal as well (though it was her spitefulness that started the whole mess in the first place). But without a DNA test, without the new statute, we would have had another three lives wrecked. With a DNA test, the lives of all three were redeemed.

This is an area where the path is clear. I’ve had two mom’s tell the court terminating the relationship (and child support) is “the only right thing to do,” in cases where everyone has known for years this isn’t his kid. This statute passed in the legislature unanimously. Republicans and Democrats all supported it. But it has only two teeth and those are going to be pulled in September, because of changes in the legislation that were required by the AG’s office. In September it will become a toothless mockery, and will bar what those mom’s acknowledged was “the only right thing to do.” We need at least four teeth in this statute and they need to be permanent teeth, not baby teeth.

Texas new Paternity Fraud statute was a step in the right direction, but it was only a step – not a leap to the finish. This statute needs amending and extending.

http://www.tylerpaper.com/article/20120415/NEWS01/120419846

Gentlemen, a lot of people have worked long and hard to give you the opportunity to contest these Paternity Fraud cases. But most judges and the attorney general hate it. The reason you have this opportunity is because they HAD to give you this window in order to again SHIFT THE BLAME back to you for not requesting it within the 15 months they have so generously “given” you. If you are already ordered to pay child support, asking the attorney general for a test does not qualify as raising the issue. Only actually filing suit in a court by September 1, 2012 will keep you from being barred again.

For goodness sake – Don’t wait. If you have access to the child, get a test this week. If you don’t have access to the child, hire a lawyer. Come September 1, 2012, you’re going to be stuck – again, and they’re going to say it is your fault – not theirs.

Through recorded history, we know that certain cases have captured the attention of the public and been tried in a third court; the court of public opinion.

When we try a case in civil court, we are seeking a civil remedy; generally money damages. When we try a case in a criminal court, we are seeking a criminal penalty; either jail time or a fine. But when we try a case in the court of public opinion, what we are seeking is essentially a political result. At least past a certain point, all someone is doing is promoting their political agenda; and we are past that point.

In my opinion, promoting our political agendas prosecuting criminal cases in the court of public opinion subverts the process. Think about it. The court of public opinion is the only court with an infinite number of judges assigned to the case. It is the only court where no witnesses are ever sworn to tell the truth, and where people that weren’t present at the time, people that cannot shed any real light on the case, can call themselves to testify without end, no matter how brilliantly their bias shines. It is the only place where the real “evidence” can be “edited” to convey a totally different meaning and no one is held accountable. It is the only court with unlimited opening and closing arguments. It is the only court not empowered to dispense justice, but with the very real power to subvert it.

Recent media circus / trials in the court of public opinion/ that come to mind include Michael Jackson and O. J. Simpson’s trials. While I have no way of knowing whether justice was done in those cases, I can say that both cases cost everyone involved large fortunes, and that they served one purpose very well: they divided our nation along racial lines.

I think the question we all need to ask is, “who is served by this polarization?” If we all blindly point a finger at “the other side” as if THEY are the enemy, we all lose. Our unity in seeking justice and the truth, through an unbiased court of law, is the only hope any of us have. Trying a case in the court of public opinion works for political gain, but in the process, “we the people” lose. The only way this nation can win, is to refuse to play the finger pointing, blame game we are being bated into.

STAND YOUR GROUND IS NOT THE ISSUE:

On the issue of the Florida “Stand Your Ground” law, “standing his ground” has nothing to do with George Zimmerman’s case. This case will be decided based on plain old self defense (though that justification is contained in the same section of the Florida statute). Either George Zimmerman’s use of deadly force in self defense was justified under the facts and Florida law or it wasn’t. If he was flat on his back with someone straddle his chest, pounding his head, there is no place to retreat. If he confronted a man, bullied him and shot him in cold blood that’s Second Degree Murder under Florida’s statute, and there is no justification for it in any state. Under the Florida statute the question is going to be, did he reasonably believe it was necessary to use deadly force to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself (Sect 776.013 (3)). In any state in the country, that’s a straight up question of self defense.

That’s just my opinion.

Though the new Texas statute does not give the court the power to terminate or adjust the arrearage in any way, the mother of the child signed a Full Accord and Satisfaction and Release Agreement, and told the court that forgiving the past due child support was “the only right thing to do.” With the acquiescence of the Texas Attorney General’s Office, the court, in an unprecedented move, accepted the Full Accord and Satisfaction and Release Agreement and ordered that the Attorney General’s office report the child support (and interest) “fully satisfied.”

Barry’s case is not unusual. In fact, it happens all too often. The mother of the child thought he was the father at the time. But later, everyone came to realize or suspect that he wasn’t her father. The only problem was that there was no legal mechanism in Texas for addressing this serious mistake. While Barry went to jail two times for not paying child support for a child that wasn’t his, his wife and children suffered the total loss of his income and his presence and support.

The Texas Family Law Council and State Senator Cliff Harris, the sponsor of the bill in the Texas Senate that made this possible, are to be commended for “doing the right thing”, just like the mother did yesterday in forgiving the outstanding balance. (For those of you that don’t know, this bill passed unanimously in both houses of the Texas legislature last session.) Kudos also to the Office of the Attorney General for their acquiescence in mom doing in her words, “the only right thing to do.”

You all deserve a big Amen.

Requirements: These consultations are only for Child Support cases based on a Texas court order for a child that you believe isn’t yours.

First, they are dealing with life and death responsibilities on a daily basis and that keeps them from having the luxury of asking questions about their personal lives most others would ask.

Second, they love family, want family, and miss their families. That makes them loath to cut off relationships.

Third, having a spirit of service, paying child support just falls into another category of service. It seems that they aren’t willing to question the parentage issue until they have a new child for which they are responsible.

I believe the values that motivate our soldiers to serve are the very ones that make them vulnerable to Paternity Fraud.

So I ask you: While our soldiers are fighting OUR enemies, who has THEIR back. One way to have their back is to pass this message on to all the servicemen you know paying child support. Or better yet, tell their REAL family. Tell their wife, their mom or their dad about this change.

If you have military connections, please help us get the word out to our servicemen and our veterans! Texas new DNA testing law has a deadline of September 1 2012.

Forensic DNA and Drug Testing Services: http://www.forensicdrugtesting.net

DNA Test Kit: http://www.dnatesting.com/

For those of you who are not in a dangerous relationship, I do want to give you the benefit of the experience of one of my clients. Some years ago I worked with a 68 year old woman I’ll call Kim. Kim had been emotionally and physically abused and abandoned. She struggled with a debilitating, chronic disease that hospitalized her numerous times over 40 years. She felt alone.

One day while reviewing some of the issues in her case Kim said, “The worst decision I ever made in my life was divorcing my first husband, the father of my children.” Knowing all that she had been through in two subsequent marriages, I stopped for a moment. The import of her statement started like the outgoing tide before a tsunami and then quickly reversed its flow to engulf me. All I could say was, “Tell me more .”

Kim explained that Paul actually treated her very well. He was a good provider and a faithful husband. She said, “I just had strong ideas and sometimes I felt like he didn’t listen to me. “ She continued, “I was young, and I just didn’t think marriage was supposed to be that hard.” In the 40+ years since that divorce, no one loved her as much, listened to her as well, valued her input or treated her as well as her first husband.

As I walk through divorce with clients I occasionally see cases that look like Kim’s in the making. We are all human and none of us are perfect. Close relationships are difficult: period. But just because our society encourages us to trade in our spouses like refrigerators or old cars does not mean that divorce is the answer. Particularly if you have children — you owe it to yourself, your parents, your children, your spouse and your (real) friends to work very, very hard on your marriage.

Remember this: when your marriage ends you take yourself and your faith with you. If either of those is the real problem, or a big part of the problem, then nothing is going to change until you do. It’ll just be – same stuff different day (and maybe different place). Your current relationship may be the vehicle that helps you change for the better.

If you are in a truly toxic relationship ignore what I have just said because it is not the right advice for you. But I encourage you to get some therapy before making the decision to get a divorce. As human beings, we often cannot see the forest for the trees. We need some help to get any real perspective on our lives. Prayer and therapy can help.

Guys, this story applies equally to you. I’m not trying to talk myself out of a job, but I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and I have walked with some clients through repeated train wrecks.

Forensic DNA and Drug Testing Services: http://www.forensicdrugtesting.net

DNA Test Kit: http://www.dnatesting.com/

Forensic DNA and Drug Testing Services: http://www.forensicdrugtesting.net

DNA Test Kit: http://www.dnatesting.com/

CBS 11 Interview

Let me start by saying that if money is not an issue, then go see a lawyer now. If a couple of thousand dollars is walking around money, don’t wait. Go hire a lawyer. That said, while I support full employment for lawyers, if money is an issue I’m not going to tell you that you have to run out and hire one right off the bat. For the more frugal of you, my suggestion is that you collect a DNA sample from the child, and get it to a DNA testing lab with a sample of your own DNA.

Lots of you probably watch CSI. I’m here to tell you that they really can get the child’s DNA off his baseball cap or his sox, or off the rim of the water bottle he drank just before he went back to mom’s house. Just put it in a plastic bag and don’t contaminate it with your own DNA. This test will cost you about $300.00. It won’t be admissible in court, but it will let you know if the money for a lawyer and court ordered test will be money well spent or money thrown away.

Even cheaper still is a test kit you can buy at your local chain pharmacy. In my area CVS, Walgreens and most of the grocery store pharmacies all carry a DNA Paternity Test kit from a company called Identigene. They charge $29.00 for the kit and then you send in another $129.00 lab fee for the actual test. This test won’t be admissible in court either, but it is even cheaper than the first one. The down side of the Identigene test is that you collect the sample by swabbing the child’s cheek inside their mouth, and more often than not when the child goes home and tells mom about the mouth swab, she may become very irritated. (Intentional understatement.)

With either test, if the results come back that the child is not yours, then HIRE A LAWYER PRONTO!

I don’t generally suggest you go see a lawyer first except if you don’t have access to the child to perform the cheaper test. Further, I don’t want you to incur the cost of the more expensive tests and the lawyer fees that go with it until we have some evidence it is going to be money well spent. In a quarter to a third of the cases, the child turns out to really be yours.

If you like the CSI approach. There is a link below to a testing provider I know does that test. They will give you a discount and provide the testing for $300.00, but you may have to tell them you saw that rate here.

So to recap: my advise is to head to the pharmacy, send in the test, and when you have the test results, then call a lawyer.

One last thing. In most cases, evidentiary issues will prohibit the first test results from being used in court. Know that and accept that ahead of time. Don’t expect otherwise.

So don’t procrastinate. The window of opportunity is closing rapidly. For most men, September 1, 2012 is going to be the deadline for filing. After that, for most people it is going to be too late.

Forensic DNA and Drug Testing Services: http://www.forensicdrugtesting.net

DNA Test Kit: http://www.dnatesting.com/

CBS 11 Interview