tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10217054137150995162023-11-15T08:55:46.092-06:00Female runner and health professional reveals her battle with persistent depression including how it positively changed her identity, personality and life.ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.comBlogger1652125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-66023166636874450742022-01-02T17:19:00.003-06:002022-01-02T17:19:43.078-06:00

Happy New Year, dear readers! I pray 2022 brings an end to the epidemic and a return to respect, kindness and caring for your fellow human. That's it. That's all I ask. Well, truthfully there's so much more for which to ask, but I figured I'd start with the basics. I'm beginning this year looking back and looking ahead. Looking back...I began this blog in January, 2008. At that time I

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-46276986720316557442021-12-28T21:15:00.002-06:002021-12-28T21:29:04.899-06:00

I am amazed. Sixteen years ago today I began my recovery journey. I'm celebrating 16 years of sobriety today. 16 years. Wow. I never envisioned this day.I'm not sure anyone who knew me in 2005 would have envisioned this day, either. I was a self-centered, poor-me, noncommittal dope back then. I didn't think I needed help getting sober. I didn't think there was anything wrong with my

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-69136691375069825682021-12-26T17:23:00.004-06:002021-12-26T17:24:28.722-06:00

Consider this my Christmas gift to all of you. I encountered this sign today while on a 6-mile hike on the Superior Hiking Trail near Duluth. It made me chuckle. Hope it does the same for you. Enjoy!Perhaps the funniest sign I've ever encountered in the middle of the woods. I had to check it out, of course. Fairly accurate.My boy, Jet, taking the lead. Not another soul in sight. Nature therapy at

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-21168038249990728192021-12-25T20:45:00.003-06:002021-12-25T20:45:41.506-06:00

Merry Christmas, friends. Despite my concerns last week, I actually had a nice couple of days. I hope you did, too. If you didn't, if you're feeling alone, I'm sorry. You're not alone. Hang on. Christmas is almost over.The holidays can be so difficult for many of us. Dealing with mental illness while juggling the often onerous expectations of Christmas, the challenges of family relations, the

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-19916382171579143482021-12-19T17:58:00.003-06:002021-12-19T17:58:46.634-06:00

They say it's just a number. (Who are they, anyway?) It's the day after my birthday, and according to my body it's more than just a number. I can't believe how old I am! Let me rephrase that. I can't believe how old I feel!My body, which throughout my youth carried me to great athletic pursuits and thrills, and which continues to gift me the joys of running, racing and competing as an adult,

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-62378454291758666022021-12-13T19:34:00.000-06:002021-12-13T19:34:15.763-06:00

I've been feeling a little low. I'm still taking a break from training. I'm running on my own but not training. Maybe that's why I'm a little low, but I don't think so. I'm enjoying just running. Maybe feeling low is more about my birthday coming up, and Christmas coming up, and the hours and hours of darkness where there used to be daylight. That's probably more likely it.I think I'm also

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-72704401084894972982021-12-05T09:48:00.000-06:002021-12-05T09:48:28.587-06:00

I should be standing on a starting line in Sacramento, California, right now. Instead I'm sitting in the midst of the first significant winter storm of the year in Duluth, Minnesota. I don't mind snow, but the 9-15 inches expected today seems like piling on, don't you think? I'm battling some hefty disappointment right now.I wish I was in California. I feel I've fully recovered from my mild bout

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-73198951751442381342021-11-28T16:09:00.000-06:002021-11-28T16:09:39.674-06:00

After completing my last long run today, I came home and cancelled my flight to Sacramento. California International Marathon is next Sunday, but I won't be on the starting line. Even though my COVID symptoms were mild and short-lived, and even though I'll be out of isolation and able to travel, I just don't feel well enough to attempt 26.2 miles in 7 short days. To say I'm disappointed is

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-68995868655842379612021-11-24T11:43:00.004-06:002021-11-26T08:34:33.406-06:00

With less than two weeks to go until marathon day, I'd been feeling a bit run down. That's normal. Unfortunately, last Thursday I treated a patient who shortly thereafter tested positive for COVID. When I started feeling the beginning of a virus-like illness over the weekend, I was a little concerned. I felt well enough to work Monday, and just to be safe, I asked for and received a COVID test.

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-26159786365576159512021-11-21T13:54:00.000-06:002021-11-21T13:54:01.433-06:00

Why not? I had just made it through a long, frustrating week. All week I had frustrations at home, at work, and especially during training. I had hoped my long run this morning would turn things around. I meticulously planned to avoid the snowy, whipping 30mph wind gusts by arising early, dressing appropriately for the cold and dark, and getting to one of my favorite long run locations by 6:30AM.

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-84942557682522559532021-11-13T12:29:00.001-06:002021-11-13T12:36:35.427-06:00

Training for the Memphis Marathon is going very well, but unfortunately I discovered Memphis is sold out, even though their website says otherwise. No worries, I've changed my plans. I'll be running in California instead.I've always wanted to run the California International Marathon in Sacramento. It's consistently voted one of the best marathons in the US; noted for good organization, favorable

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-24526643431871913162021-11-06T18:03:00.003-05:002021-11-08T09:22:58.442-06:00

Not days. Not weeks. Not years. Months. 18 months. It's been approximately 18 months since my last severe depression relapse. Why is that significant? It's significant because 18 months is the longest span of time I've gone without a depression relapse. In almost 21 years of illness, only once previously have I even approached an 18-month depression-free period. Think about that.Since my

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-25916546330906574802021-10-29T18:15:00.000-05:002021-10-29T18:15:29.679-05:00

I ran into an old coworker a few days ago. One of the first things she asked me was, "Did you ever get to Everest?" I was thrilled to tell her yes, of course, and we chatted about it for a few minutes. Those few minutes turned into days of reminiscing for me. On this date three years ago I was still in Nepal. I was on day 16 of my trek, descending toward my starting point which was still 2

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-22943907450162648722021-10-23T20:58:00.004-05:002021-10-23T20:58:45.414-05:00

The online coaching program worked so well for my build-up to Twin Cities Marathon, I decided to turn things up a notch. I hired a local running coach. Actually, coaches, although I've only interacted with one of them so far. They are local to Duluth, actual human beings with whom I can interact. It will cost me a few dollars every month, but I'm hopeful it will be worth it.Within the next year,

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-71573564906321746122021-10-16T09:33:00.002-05:002021-10-16T09:33:24.325-05:00

I've been having a little pity party lately. Long story short, I'm tired of doing almost everything I do alone. I'm tired of hearing no from friends and family when I ask if they want to join me on an outing, lunch date, or journey. I love my friends, but I don't have many. Maybe I need a few more. Maybe I need to find more people who like to do what I like to do and are willing to do it. Life is

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-29012871164571449582021-10-11T20:15:00.001-05:002021-10-11T20:15:37.711-05:00

I guess I needed it, and I got it. I had a very lazy recovery week after I ran the Twin Cities Marathon last Sunday. I didn't have the option to work, since I have yet to receive my Wisconsin PT license from the ridiculously slow Wisconsin Board, and I certainly didn't have any training on my schedule, so I did a whole lot of nothing for most of the week. Like I said I needed the laziness,

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-59825146957309074072021-10-04T17:12:00.001-05:002021-10-04T17:14:21.317-05:00

I did it.I started and finished the Twin Cities Marathon yesterday. I crossed a marathon finish line for the 29th time. I was thrilled and exhausted and sobbed tears of joy as I stepped across the line arms raised high. Five years of injury and illness were put to rest in that singular moment of triumph. I was so happy and grateful.Prior to the start my friend Mary sent me a text reminding me to

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-19331355484465831722021-09-29T17:28:00.001-05:002021-09-30T08:00:45.281-05:00

It's almost time! The Twin Cities Marathon is less than 4 days away. I'm excited and anxious--but mostly excited. It appears I'm going to make it to the starting line on Sunday, and if so that will be a huge success! I have no idea what to expect, because my legs feel tired and heavy. As long as I cross the finish line, though, I'll be thrilled.Feeling tired and heavy isn't unusual during the

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-70685076815830917512021-09-23T15:49:00.001-05:002021-09-24T07:46:06.170-05:00

Fishing, visiting a bakery, time with friends--all were part of a very special, free day yesterday. I was supposed to work. I got cancelled. Not enough patients to require my on-call therapy services. So my day off was totally unexpected and therefore totally unplanned. It was a free day, and I took full advantage. Unlike the unplanned downtime I lamented in my last post, which was really

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-68312866163774683772021-09-20T16:38:00.002-05:002021-09-20T16:38:34.939-05:00

As you may recall, I got a new job in late July, almost 8 weeks ago. I was scheduled to begin my new job almost 4 weeks ago at the end of August. My last day of work at my current position was August 30th, yet I've still not begun my new job. I'm sitting, instead, in the midst of unplanned time off. And I'm frustrated.The problem is not with my new employer. They are anxious for me to start. The

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-70818237967182668212021-09-11T08:50:00.001-05:002021-09-13T08:11:21.895-05:00

Last week, as I circled the track running 2 miles at a pace I thought I couldn't maintain, I had a thought. I had the thought again as I jogged for 2 minutes, and yet again while I ran another 2 miles at that same difficult pace. A few days later, while running 18 miles over the course of nearly 3 hours, I had plenty of time to revisit and contemplate the same thought. All of that thinking led me

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-67961951875974566782021-09-06T18:11:00.000-05:002021-09-06T18:11:28.229-05:00

I'm thrilled to report my body seems to be responding quite well to training again. This past week I had a very tough threshold run, at a pace faster than I thought I could achieve, and an 18-mile long run. Despite my apprehensions, I completed both workouts. I loved the challenge and relished in their difficulty. I'm weird like that.  And I was ecstatic I was able to do them!  

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-58206188186628739342021-08-30T15:40:00.001-05:002021-08-30T15:40:26.659-05:00

The reasons I moved to Duluth were in abundance yesterday. I took to the North Shore of Lake Superior for my 15 mile long run. My friend, Chris, the first guest in my new home, rode his bike up and down the 19 mile stretch along the big lake at the same time. The beauty of the surroundings almost made our lengthy workouts painless. Almost.It was absolutely gorgeous yesterday. The temp was in the

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-81858462264340500812021-08-22T11:22:00.002-05:002021-08-22T11:38:58.846-05:00

I'm sitting here enjoying my "trophy" from yesterday's half marathon. I raced in Wisconsin, so of course my trophy was cheese! Difficult to add to the trophy case, but quite delicious. Only in Wisconsin...Yes, my race went well. I finished first in my old-lady division, hence the gift box of cheese. But finishing first was not at all a goal. It was just an unexpected, yummy aftereffect.My primary

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1021705413715099516.post-13879715887540464072021-08-19T11:26:00.003-05:002021-08-19T11:26:56.857-05:00

I'm sitting on my butt today doing a whole lot of nothing. That's what my coach wants me to do, and who am I to argue? This sit-on-my-butt rest day has been prescribed because I have a half marathon race coming up on Saturday. I'm about 6 weeks out from my marathon, so I thought I'd try a half marathon to practice my pacing and simply to see where I'm at physically. After all, I haven't toed

ettahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03219707615509312543noreply@blogger.com1