the lazybum named Mina

A Letter to Bangtan

2019-04-15T14:44:00.003+08:00

13 April 2019 01:02

안녕! 👋🏼
잘 지냈어요? 제 이름은 민아 이에요. 저는 코타키나발루에 살아요. 하지만 지금은 인도네시아에서 공부하고 있습니다. 석진하고 동갑이에요. 한국어 잘 못해요. 지금 마음에서 우러나오는 대로 영어로 쓰겠습니다. 🙇🏻‍♀️

I was actually a bit late for the 작은시 MV premiere because it was raining here in Malang 🇮🇩 that afternoon and i was on my way going back home on a motorcycle. I was still drenched when i started watching the MV. watched it at most 7 times before i proceed to hearing the album on spotify because i had to see you guys one by one. #OT7 🤟🏼

I love the MV! I admire the color tones. it was sooo beautiful. I can hear Halsey’s voice layered in chorus and harmonizing with you guys. The fact that she also sings some of them in Korean? 🤯 mad respect to her.

Proceeding to spotify, i listened to all. If i were to describe the 7 songs, it would be long and for this particular post, I’m hoping to keep it short. Because i love love love and adore all the 7 songs 💕

there are 2 tracks that actually killed me for somewhat 30 or so minutes 😅 that was when i heard the whole album again with translation. It started with Make It Right and stopped at HOME because i was bawling my eyes out. Literally. I had to stop because i was gonna have a celebration dinner with my friends for their small achievements. I went with swollen eyes and they thought something happened to me. so cutee

Bruh, Make it Right? I think it started on the 2nd verse when the tears turned to waterfalls. It was somehow i was appreciated. I was loved. I was a somebody to someone so big that my mind couldn’t comprehend the fact that you don’t even know who i am but you knew I existed. You knew me as ARMY. for that i am truly honored and a really HUGE thankyou. i can feel the love, the motivation to move forward.

i can really say DNA made me really thought this was never a coincidence. becoming a fan of you really brings out the best of me. like truly is, i am comfortable with myself, i am happy with myself. i blocked out all negativity. and i'm glad i'm in this fandom. thankyou :')

- mina -

Reading the old me

2019-01-13T17:52:00.000+08:00

you don't even know how much i scoffed, pffted, loled with what i wrote in my old posts. the past me was so young and naive. i'm like "wtf did i wrote that?" it's good to be young ^^

well i can see that i've grown. the past me was in her early 20s. seems like she was having a hard time in her life. little did she know in her mid 20s life starting get much worse. well, not worse. i made through it though. today, i'm near my late 20s. who knows what would happen next. my gaddd why do i feel so old writing about myself hahaha

but all in all, your 20s is where the young crisis at. relationship and friendship. sometimes family. but i think insya Allah i'm okay with my family. but as for relationship and friendship? i went through hell for this. sort of. hahaha. i might be exaggerating. but i do learned a lot.

relationship.

recently, i went to my ex's wedding reception. i didn't expect that myself either. i went because i respect his father, who's been a father to us as well. we broke up or should i say, the relationship went hanging(?), during my 1st year as a medical student. it was my 2nd semester. if i were to bring up what he did, i would but i chose not to because it's not my business now anyways. i grew tired of it. BUT the funny thing happened was when i came in to the hall. shocked eyes everywhere. specially his relatives, the bawangs, and even the bride and groom themselves while they're walking down the aisle to their pelamin on stage.

to tell you the truth, i was afraid. i was afraid i might disturb someones's happiness. i was afraid that it might turned into chaos. who knows kan? i was shaking but set aside all those worries, i pray to myself that all of what has happened, have happened. i'm here to respect the invitation. i'm no strong woman but ya Allah, lend me your strength to get through this. it's a wedding reception and it should not be sad, envy or any heartbroken events. what's done is done. after that, i exhaled and smiled. no tears, no hard feelings. i was enjoying my food. met those relatives, who i'm pretty sure knows nothing about me but heard something about me. only a few i could talk freely like nothing ever happened.

after everything, i still find it funny. my dad said the relationship was not even true at all since he didn't say anything to my dad. and somehow, we can discussed about it as a family. when most of the time, my father didn't know anything about it. i can even say to my dad that when the time comes, i'm only gonna say to the guy to meet you in person. do you know what a relief it was to say that to my dad? the strict father who always thought of his children are his princes and princesses? yes, it was totally worth it because i don't have to fake anything. HAH. i love my parents :)

friendship.

you will come to learn when there are those who stay for you no matter who you are and those who leave out of your life. after years of being together, one by one will show their true self. and when those time comes to you, you will have to decide for your own sake whether this friend is meant to stay or just being "that" friend. pray to yourself that those great friends who are meant for you are there because of Allah SWT. pray to yourself that may Allah give you the very best of friends who would help you to be a better you.

i am truly grateful for those who stayed with me and support me for whatever i do as much as i support whatever they decided to do. those who saw me in my weakness, my landfall, my lowest point of life and still chose to stay, i thank you for that. i wish many great things happen to these people i care the most. i wish all the blessing i can get for them to ease in whatever they do today and in the future.

i also wanted to thank those who became the "friend" in my life. these are the people that thought me how i should behave, talk to some certain people. how i should be sabar with different attitudes. how some minds would never clicked with you but chose to be quiet and let my personal monologue to ran on its own when i'm in my room. how i should not care when they don't bring the best of me. how i could open my eyes and see that it's not only about me. how i should care for myself rather than being confused, upset, and depressed when clearly they are not there for me.

it's okay to ignore those who are toxic to you. it's okay to be unknown of when suddenly someone hated you for no reason. it's okay you have very little friends who are close to you. honestly, i'm no good in being in contact all the time with my friends but i do try to talk to them from time to time. i have that tiny voice that keep saying i'm a bother to all. hahaha. when i dont text or call them, i pray the very best for them. only God knows how much i care for them.

love myself.

this year, i'm gonna love myself even more. i started learning about myself by the end of the 1st quarter last year. i learned to self love, self care. i'm trying to be optimistic about my life since i have a long way to go. it sounded narcissistic but sometimes you need your own time and way in appreciating yourself. i have to say, bangtan really did help me a lot. i hate to say i am an army at first but i am the army they made me and glad i did. lol cheesy nak mateyyyyy. ehem! as i said before, i am not strong physically and mentally but i know i will be strong when i know Allah and His Rasul is always close to me. don't ask me how but you will know it spiritually. may happiness comes to those who read this and have faith in God. let's love ourselves more.

- minapatawari -

Well hellooo there!

2019-01-08T00:30:00.000+08:00

after years, baru dapat revamp balik ni blog. I feel like I need to re-do all the stuff that has been happening here. I feel like I'm grown hahaha. well, it's been 26 years living... no wait, I'm 27 this year. sigh. oh, hello 2019~

but anyways, masih tengah edit edit, touch up sana, touch up sini. ada link yang belum boleh buka lagi, ada mau susun lagi. pelan pelan orang bilang hehe. but I do love how it looks now. rasa besar suda hohoho.

this year, tiada buat new year resolution apa benda pun. but maybe akan diusahakan untuk menulis lebih. either in ze buuk or hieerrrr. kalau sini, cari topik tu yang susah sikit. maybe I should jot down whenever tetiba ada idea of what to write. sebenarnya, I do have some personal stuff to write but bila sudah tulis tu, end up jadi draft ja hahaha and sometimes, suda buka mau menulis but then terlupa apa point mau ditulis lol.

apapun, I should try to write more. I wanted people to know that I might be in the same situation as someone else and giving my point of views about it would made them know they are not alone. who knows? fighting mina!

let’s do this!

2017-11-06T12:28:00.002+08:00

And you tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake... you can’t make homes out of humN beings. Someone should have already told you that. And if he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

Dear faghah sent me that quote. Sebak jap semalam ahahah

I have come to the point where i don’t care anymore. I mean, i love you but even if you were not mine, i’m okay with it. Insya Allah. Allah knows what’s best for me. And later, if its meant to be, it will be. You were the greatest gift Allah had given to me. Knowing you was the best damn thing ever. I should focus more on my studies and love life is not meant for me because i know i care too much. I love too much. I should have learned that from my past experience. I guess you were the only person who knows me really well. You were my bestfriend, my dear, my heart. I appreciate that dearly though. But then again, thank you for everything. All the memories shall be with me all the ways ☺️

I pray the best for you and many good things comes to you. May Allah ease your journey and give you health and wealth. If you still wanted to talk, i’m always here. Where i’ll be.

With love,
SAP x

#Cover Perfect - Ed Sheeran

2017-04-15T18:23:00.000+08:00

well hello to whoever read this hahaha. as the title said, this post will be about my recent cover after so many years of not posting full covers. i did covers but only posted them in instagram. hence, its just a 1 min cover.

anyway, this song really hits me, though i dont have a partner or anything, the lyrics are just perf!

any comments please do let me know. need them to improve myself. so, enjoy watching or merely listening!

Thanks to song2piano for the instrumental song. i love it!

new year, new me? nah!

2017-01-18T23:09:00.002+08:00

Hi guys. happy 2017. a bit late but hehh. happy new year :P

anyways, setelah sekian lama blog ni terbiar. paling last pun post pasal tugas di uni. kalau tidak, tidakla tu aku buat apa apa dalam blog ni. ohya and i decided to mix languages according to what i wanted to post. something like this, di mana aku campur ja English to Malay. like how i think. sebab honestly? my mind tidak dalam satu bahasa saja. kadang campur campur. so, why not kan? sebelum ni rasa the need to improve my english and i need to write more tapi tidak pun aku banyak tulis tulis hahaha. mina, minaa. jadi, conclusion dia, suka hati kau la mina. yang penting orang boleh faham apa kau tulis. itu pun kalau orang baca apa kau tulis *cough*loser*cough*

still tahun baru and masih jomblo tegar. mungkinlah because you never know what might come in the future. tapi so far, alhamdulillah. tiada jugalah kecewa sampai mau bunuh diri. masih waras lagi. sakit tu perkara biasalah. masing masing boleh tau apa rasa dia. tidakkanlah aku mau explain panjang panjang sinikan? pandai pandailah kamu.

some things i've learned from last year tapi nanti nanti la aku share. but basically, that's how life is. ada masa kau happy, ada masa kau sedih, ada masa kau tetiba gila, and ada masa kau be life idgaf. apa orang kata tu tidak payahlah mau kisah sangat. yang penting kau tau apa kau buat and kau yakin Allah tau apa kau buat. dari situ kau boleh berjaga jaga la kan.

so, selama berapa tahun sudah di Indonesia ni, bahasa pun macam macam sudah di belajar and masih lagi belajar sekarang. hahaha. English Malay tu mestilah. Indonesia boleh boleh sudah. Jawa? masih belajar lagi tapi bolehlah faham faham sikit. Ganu Klate sekarang jarang sudah but paling latest Kedah la. since Syud sebelum ni pun banyak ajar and now Nabil pun ajar ajar juga. boleh la try try. kononnya la. tapi mostly kalau depan depan pun dengan dorang ni, memang aku diam ja la sebab observe cara cakap dorang. hahaha.

resolution tahun ni? hmm.. biarlah sendiri ja yang tau sebab of course masing masing adakan? nanti lain hari kalau rajin, aku share la juga. kalau pasal blog ni, ingat mau merajinkan diri untuk post more. tapi we'll see how it goes.

Berubah

2016-09-19T22:08:00.003+08:00

"I made a promise to make a change. I stay to defend and one day, things will change."

aku masih pegang kata-kata ni. mungkin nanti aku bukanlah orang yang ada kuasa sangat mau atur semua tu tapi biar macam mana pun, aku tidak akan buat apa yang drg pernah buat sama aku. sebab bagi aku, untuk mendapatkan rasa hormat, bukan dengan cara paksaan. kalau mau ajar adik-adik, ajar cara betul. bukan dengan perangai macam apa tu. calon dokter tapi perangai? nauzubillahi min zalik.

semoga seja Allah bagi aku kekuatan untuk tidak kurang ajar, tidak biadap, dan terus sabar dengan semua tu. dan semoga juga Allah bagi aku kekuatan untuk jaga adik-adik dan pimpin hati-hati hambaNya sebab Allah itu Maha Adil.

is it too late now to say...

2016-01-24T17:11:00.000+08:00

Hello January 2016. I know you wanted to sing Sorryyy hahaha. but seriously, i love that song.

Anyways, here i am. welcoming 2016 with a list of not-so-new-year resolution when i actually should be studying right now but since i haven't post for 2016...so why not? hehe. I'm hoping that this year is gonna be nice with me. although i bet there would be hardships but be optimist mina! here goes my list of new year resolution.

Make sure to read and review every topic everyday. my target is so that i can understand what am i gonna study for the next class and be prepare for myself. since the class is gonna be in Indonesian, at least i get what is the Professors/Doctors are talking about.
Be diligent, say NO to laziness! i know i am such a lazybum so i need to stop myself from being lazy because as a medstudent, lazy is totally out of the equation. i wont do well in my academics if i'm lazy. therefore, you can do it mina!
Go ahead and be active with sports. my dad said make sure you play sports while you're there. you need oxygen in your body and at the same time to release the tension in your brain. and i did. i started to play badminton with Ghazi and Syukran as our coach. since i am that noob, i really do need a coach *cough*sebabkalahmatidenganizyan.sorryizyan*cough* because i sucked at that time. the seniors beat me down. feel bad for Izyan though. so, yes. badminton it is.
Study languages when i have free time. i think most knew how much i would love to speak in German, Japanese, Arab, Korean and other languages. so, why not i try to and self-thought myself like i used to.
Spend my money wisely. even though i'm here in Indonesia, doesn't mean i don't have to be thrifty right. i know most of my money goes to food but girl, my appetite sometimes amazed me. like come on mina! you just ate a mangkuk of bakso and mee ayam! heh. okay. therefore, spend it wisely. economics nowadays are bad.
Make Mum and Dad proud! for this, i will do everything i can for them because of course they are my heart and soul so it is my duty to serve my parents. make them happy, less worry about their daughter named Mina. heheh. insya Allah my prayers to them to have a blessing life. love you ma and dad x
Take care and use the blade that is in my mouth wisely. people tend to think i'm always mad and angry all the time when i am actualy not. literally. whenever i gave advises and whatnot, most would say "sorry mina.""janganlah marah mina." maybe because i talk with emotion (?) and the tone made it sound mad (?). sigh. but i really do need to take care of it. please don't be offended when i talk.

tadaaa~ my list is now complete. (i think) hopefully i will manage to do them all. insya Allah.

now, back to studying.

Kaneki Ken

2015-12-05T22:46:00.001+08:00

A character from Tokyo Ghoul which I love dearly other than Ai Enma from Jigoku Shoujo (Girl from Hell). i really love the story to the core! something different but it's that kind of genre that i love. dark fantasy. his character reassembles some bits of me, especially the side where no one knew unless to those who is really close to me, which is also the reason why i chose him to be on my header! haha. same goes for Ai Enma. there's just something about her that really touched me and i really love the anime. i wish i had time for myself with animes. and guitar. i miss my guitars actually T^T and final exam is the corner. so it kinda stressing me out :( hence, why i'm here. i need therapy. i need stress reliever. do pray for me.

apabila jatuh, bangkit Mina.

2015-12-01T23:49:00.001+08:00

ada kalanya kita ingin berbicara tentang soal hidup kita...
ada kalanya tidak, kerana bagi kita ianya tidak penting.
tetapi aku yakin semua melalui benda yang susah dan juga yang senang.
kepada yang senang, syukur alhamdulillah.
kepada yang susah, tidak mengapa. teruskan berjuang.
tidak semestinya kau jatuh, terus jatuh selamanya.
ini masih awal.
masih belum terlambat untuk mencapai apa yang kau inginkan.
so, jangan mempersia-siakan apa yang kau dapat sekarang ni sebab kau sendiri tahu bukan semua orang boleh duduk di tempat kau sekarang ni.
never give up. when there's a will, there is a way.
# No Matter What, Fight On! - jargon angkatan kami.

Hello December!

2015-12-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

HELLO DECEMBER 2015!

after a year and a month or so being away from blogging, the tempt to write something was always there but didn't want some poser to do something stupid to my family. hahaha.

so, how is life? long story short, still studying but in a different faculty now. from biology to medicine. been here for 3 months now and for sure it was not easy. how i get into this faculty was also a miracle. might share it someday. living in other country is also a challenge for me because it is my first time being away from family. but i think i know why I'm the last to study somewhere else other than Sabah than my other siblings. things get connected when in the future (for me, now). somewhat interesting about what happened to me hehe.

for sure my English is a bit lag when I'm here because mainly everything is in Indonesian but i will try my best to write more. Happy Mina is HAPPY! :)

trying to make a private life for a while

2014-11-01T20:19:00.002+08:00

okay. since last week my sister had this problem where I was kinda involved in it? long story short is that someone was impersonating Bindul for this past 2 years. oh not just impersonating but harassing other people's relationship and I was involved due to being able to talk to one of the victim's friend or should i say partner in crime with impersonator. who knows? and that made us decide to make everything private in our internet life. We've already did a report about this, both at the police station and SKMM (MCMC). so currently, we're waiting for the result and hopefully we'll get to know who did this. I'll be back after everything's okay.

oh and greetings November!

Tschuss! :)

Reflection

2014-11-01T20:01:00.001+08:00

sometimes I think part of my life can be summarize in a song and the song that would describe it well would be Reflection from Disney's Mulan.

Look at me, I may never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter. Can it be,
I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself,
I would break my family's heart.
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Who is that perfect bride? It's not me, though I've tried.
When will my reflection show, who I am, inside?
How I pray, that a time will come,
I can free myself, from their expectations
On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself,
and to make my family proud. They want a docile lamb,
No-one knows who I am.
Must there be a secret me,
I'm forced to hide?
Must I pretend that I am someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?

I know that nobody's perfect but sometimes - from what I've experienced - people wanted you to be that perfect in everything even when they didn't meant it that way. you could listen to their words describing how you should be and how you should act. Its tiring really. especially when you're the first daughter in my side of the family and you didn't achieve anything while your siblings can get what they want.

i just hope things will get better for me. May Allah will always guide me to His and the right path with the bless of by loving His Prophet's Muhammad SAW. i think i need a bit of strength to handle my life. Aamiin Ya Rabb.

Wish List : Secret Room(s) for my future house

2014-10-06T23:34:00.001+08:00

As I was scrolling through my newsfeed on facebook, I found this particular link from Architecture & Design and it was about secret rooms. Honestly, I'm really a big fan of having my own secret room or compartments that I can make for my future house which I really cant wait! :D well who doesn't really, right? here are some of the rooms that I'd like to have one day :)

I really love this because I would love to have a reading space of my own and i think this clearly says "Do Not Disturb. I'm in my own world." ;)

and this? well who wouldn't love a small office or working desk in your room behind the cupboard door? I mean obviously it is quiet, no one will bother you unless they have to, I think making covers in that small room will project more of my voice, it's simple yet cheeky and why not? so this is an absolute must have for my future life.

sigh. when I saw photos like this made me eager to have my own future now but as we are currently on the present time, I think I should live my life and study more even if I'm still waiting for the applications. but still I can't wait to have my own house with my dearly beloved future husband and this, i can't wait for that too! haha

Keys in life

2014-09-28T13:04:00.001+08:00

Istighfar

Sabar

Rendah Hati

Takwa

Insya Allah. You can do this Mina. Have faith in Allah.

Now I know what it means...

2014-09-28T12:47:00.001+08:00

thank you Mr. Google!

okay. Recently, I have this problem where I'm stuck in between right and wrong, true and false etc. then my Abah, who is my non biological father that I love dearly, said to me;

"What she said was never the same as what was in her heart. Poor her. Do pray for her. Ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapa. Insya Allah abah pray to Allah for everyone."

and that phrase literally got me thinking because i'm not that good in peribahasa. I only got a B for my Bahasa Malaysia. So i did some google-ing and i found this;

"Keadaan yang amat serba salah. Peribahasa ini cukup untuk menggambarkan satu situasi dimana manusia berada dalam keadaan tersepit di antara dua keadaan atau antara dua pihak atas sebab-sebab tertentu. Mak dan bapak atau lebih manis disebut ibu ayah adalah satu contoh untuk menceritakan bahawa kedua-duanya adalah sama penting, sama bernilai. Tuhan menjadikan setiap ujian itu manusia dapat pikul, tak ada yang melebihi kemampuan manusia. usaha, tawakal dan berdoa pada Tuhan. kita tunggu dan lihat. manusia yang beriman akan sentiasa yakin akan pertolongan Tuhan. kalo kita buat salah, kena berani tanggung. kerana manusia tidak lari dari melakukan kesilapan. kalo tak pernah buat, itu bukan manusia. kalo apa yang kita buat itu betul, tidak perlu takut, sebab kebenaran akan mengatasi kebatilan. kebenaran itu adalah haq. kalo apa yang kita buat itu kita rasa betul, akan ada ganjaran dari Tuhan yang akan kita peroleh."

and this;

Peribahasa
Dimakan mati emak, diluahkan mati bapa.
Takrif
Menghadapi sesuatu masalah yang sangat sulit; dalam keadaan yang serba salah. (Peribahasa lain yang sama makna: a. Bagai bertemu [= makan] buah si malakamo: dimakan mati bapa, tidak dimakan mati ibu, b. Bagai memegang buah kepantangan beruk: ditelan mati emak, diludahkan mati bapa, c. Bak membelah kepayang muda: dimakan mabuk, dicampak sayang, d. Digenggam takut mati, dilepaskan takut terbang, e. Dikatakan mati emak, tak dikatakan mati bapa, f. Seperti Kur'an [Quan] buruk: dibaca tak boleh dipersebarangan dosa).
Sumber
Kamus Istimewa Peribahasa Melayu

It is true that i fell guilty but I'm pretty damn sure I didn't do anything wrong and if i do, i admit that its my fault. but this year was hectic enough for me because i still dont have anywhere to go for my further studying and because of my stupid head i felt sorry for everyone. i felt sorry for myself. i felt sorry that i'm not good enough. i felt sorry that i'm not smart enough. i felt sorry that i was not my sister. i felt sorry for being their daughter. i felt sorry for being stupid and always argue her. i even felt sorry for being in the same house as her.

i'm tired and i hate fighting with her. i tried my best to make sure that nothing will cause me to argue with her. really do. but in the end, she did something that would always made me go crazy. how am i not suppose to be mad? it hurts me a lot and she did it tons of times. in the past, i would definitely go passionless or emotionless whenever she's around and said something that would hurt me and i never get to tell her that because she was the one who bore me.

how am i suppose to say what i feel to her when she never listens? she always said that i'm the type of person who would suppress my own feelings and its true but sometimes keeping them in is like trying to tame a fiery beast that would just go nuts and break myself. how am i suppose to tell her that?

Abah said physically, i'm more like my father but spiritually, i'm more to my mother. and i actually do understand that. when i look in the mirror, i could only see the girl version of my father but my mouth was hers. other than that, i can feel some parts of my mother's inside me. whenever she told me about her stories, i felt that way too but i never tell her. because i think she's always right when it comes to this.

Up until now, i was never the daughter that could bring her happiness. i never see her genuine smile as she did to my sister. they rarely argue and they always laugh whenever they're together. maybe, just maybe or what if, i was...never hers? could it be always that perfect family she ever wanted? could she be more happy than she ever had? if so, i'd be gladly because i really do want her to be happy. i want her to have none argue family that she always wanted. the family tat she could dream of.

did you know i actually thought of marrying? because if that happens, i will never be under my parents rules. my sins and my reward would be on my husband. anything i do would be under my husband. but then, is that really what i want?

i thought about going to sekolah pondok. i don't know. trying to rehabilitate spiritually about myself. trying to learn what are my purposes in life other than to Allah and His Rasulullah SAW. or is that really it? just be patient with her and pray to Allah and let Him guide me in every way? well hey! i think i found some answers for that. i'm gonna stick with Allah. Doa and Tawakal. He will help. have faith in Him. May Allah bless you Mina. you need that.

anyways, if you're reading this to here, you're reading what comes to mind LIVE. this is not edited, no double thinking. just straight from the heart and mind.

#20FactsAboutMe

2014-09-08T15:57:00.001+08:00

well hello there dear blog.... i think its been a while since i last posting stuff here and the only reason i could tell you is that i'm definitely busy with helping my mum at home. literally. and i think i may have forgotten about the existence of my laptop because the only thing that i would get online without my laptop is my phone and my phone is everywhere with me *i'm so sorry dear laptop >.<*

as much as i love to write posts on instagram, twiter and facebook on my phone but its not fun trying to write something on your phone where basically the phone would rang with texts and all. it will divert my writing ideas and focus more on texting which is why i've deleted the blog app. it'll ruin the mood of writing. for me, its much better writing using your laptop where all the fingers will interact with one another and ideas will came blasting into your head. which is more enjoyable :D

anyways, here are some facts about me that i've posted on instagram and i'd love to share it here. some might not accept the way or how i handle with my life and honestly, everyone has their own opinions in their life and this is mine. i respect everyone's opinions and so should you :)

I have a cat named Kulub. It was named from one of the Hantu Tok Mudim's character where Sofi Jikan acted as Lebai Kulub. We thought if it was male, we'd named it Kulub and if female, it would be Sofi. The movie was hilarious though.
The shortest in the family. Obviously...
I don't talk a lot when I'm around people who didn't know me well. Sometimes I do and it depends on the mood of talking but most of the time I don't. Sorry
I love to read and when I read, I will not talk to anyone...even my cat lol
I'm the Cinderella in the family because I fit into every clothes my brother and sister have hehehe except for their shoe wear
I love photography! though I don't own any digital cameras and all I have is my phone and my instax7s yet it won't stop me from taking pictures because just because you don't have one DSLR etc, doesn't mean can't be one
I have a weird habit where I collect whatever items (rock, receipts, straw, tissue, chocolate/candy wrapping etc) whenever a great memory happened to me on that day.
I love makeups! My favourite makeup guru is @klairedelys. She's one amazing artist. Really love her work. But honestly, I only wear the basics when I'm out and on special occasions I'll use what I learn from her and other makeup gurus.
My favorite colours are black, purple, white and silver but currently loving the colour of red and maroon.
The only football match that I seriously watched was every Deutsch game on World Cup 2010 up until I went to UiTM at the end of June #GoGermany!
My cooking specialty is pasta. More to spaghetti and lasagna~ though I can cook other food but pasta's my favorite
I don't drink coffee because I hate the after breath smell and my dad won't let me drink it…until recently. It taste soo good! ☕
I have the fear of getting a really bad body odour even if I've applied deodorant, body spray and some perfume
The only few channels that I watch on the tele are FoodNetwork, HBO, and Fox Movies. If nothing's good to watch on either of them, is try to busy myself with something.
I failed some of the subjects in my diploma and repeat the courses and alhamdulillah I've passed it. Everyone have their hard times in school and seriously no one is perfect. I tried my best in everything I do when it comes to my study and if that's what I get, alhamdulillah. InsyaAllah there will be a way for me to get what I want.
Still trying and learning to be the best I can be about myself and my faith in everything. I believe in Allah's will and the way Rasulullah SAW handle stuff. With the guide and help from Allah, may I be able to follow His Prophet's Sunnah and His rules.
I learned Deutsch all by myself through a lot of reading, speaking, and watching videos (still have to learn more) and used to learn Japanese through anime and some jDramas.
I love love love to sing! not a pro but yeah. Just sing and let it all out hehe
I have a thing with vampires, weird zombie and mummy dolls, wolves and huskies, mermaids and a bit of dark fashion
I love extreme outdoors but I also love to stay indoors. So a bit of both in every way is fun!✌

there you go! some facts about me. well, i'll try to write more soon especially since my laptop is now near me. Tschuss!

Note To Self : God is always there for you

2014-05-07T16:18:00.003+08:00

because sometimes you'll get lost and i think this is one of the ways to be focus :)

If you want to focus more on Allah in your prayers, focus more on Him outside your prayers.Allah gave us the standard to live by when He instructed: "Say! Indeed my prayers, my sacrifices, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of all the worlds." (al-An'aam, 6:162)

"All aspects of our lives should lived in a way pleasing to God. Living righteously is living Islam." - Dr Bilal

being girly

2014-05-07T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hello there lovelies!

haha and i actually didn't even write a single post right after every damn time i wanted to keep on posting. sigh. sorry guys.

anyways, just to let you know.... i wore a skirt the other day! I ACTUALLY WORE A SKIRT! :D and i felt a bit girly because i don't normally wear one hahaha. and guess what? i actually bought a skirt on that very same day. lolzzzzz. so i guess its an improvement maybe...? i don't know. haha

honestly, these past few months, well not few but many month hehe, i love love love wearing dresses with cardigans or jacket or jubah-like dress because its comfortable and mah legs are completely free to breathe well hahah. and Mr Teddy agrees with me wearing skirt even if he's not used to it but i'm okay with it. as long as he and my brother approves whatever i wear, then i'm perfectly fine with it ;) yup. Mr Teddy and Anwar are my dressing advisor when it comes to how labuh. Fashion confidence gurlllllll. werk it! as my sister would say x)

oh! and now i finally get a hang with mah sort of new laptop. finally get to make the tags that i used to put in photos or simply just for reference in stuff hehehe. so, happy mina is very happy but at the same time, right now i'm very hungry. i guess that's all for today...?

haha okay. see ya!

trying to be positive and motivated

2014-04-09T12:42:00.000+08:00

woohoo! my first entry for 2014 :P

it was my last semester so all i did for this blog was only decorating and stuff and it would be when i'm on my laptop. because i'm usually on twitter, facebook and instagram made me feel sorry for living my blog behind. same goes for my tumblr. so yup. here i am updating stuff happened to me these past few months.

anyways, i've just finished my diploma last Sunday and i still cant believe i did it. Right after that, here i am. in the office. currently being my dad's office PA. did all the letters, payment vouchers, copies and stuff here. whew. it was an easy task really but it's in a office. came here for like around 9-11 am and go back home after 2 pm or so because i didnt have much to do here. so around 3-5 hours are my time in the office and after that, a time for myself. sometimes i went to pick up Anwar from school. well not sometimes though but its like my job now really and its tiring! driving all the way around but i'm thinking Allah have plans for me so i'm trying my best to do everything that i can.

and now that i'm taking MUET again i've to study my english as well. hence, this blog. i'll be writing more from now on. whenever i'm free from work in the office. i'll try to write stuff 5 times a week because these are the times in the office? haha yeah. i'll try because i need to improve my english. talking too. been thinking about how i could improve it and i think the best way is for me to take/post videos (if i dared myself to) of me talking with stuff. i think this is the best way for me because i dont have friends to talk to here. well except my sister from phone. oh god i miss her. hope she's doing well for her first year finals! love you and you'll always be on my prayer! xoxo :*

i think thats all for today. hopefully there will be more tomorrow. cheers!

some life quotes i'd like to share :)

2013-12-21T22:55:00.002+08:00

because every human being has their own way in life and i think you should never judge a person just of what he did in the past or present, what he/she wears, what he/she has on his body or if they're gay. all i know is that only God can judge us because on He who knows whats in our heart and for whatever reason we did all those, He saw and He knows.

literally. just because you're always alone that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy. you should be thankful that God created you and you're breathing and perfect in terms of what everybody has such as legs, arms, body, eyes, face etc. even those who doesn't have a perfect body get to live happily. just remember that whenever you feel alone or left out, God will always be there for you. no matter where you are. He listens.

and this? yeah. what he said :)

true though. sometimes you should do what makes you happy and not following what makes them happy. i mean, it's you! you should be happy for yourself. well i think when you're happy, i'm sure those who're close to you would be happy too. so why would you need the 'others' to confirm how happy you are?

and lastly, just be yourself. be comfortable with it. never label yourself because you are who you are and you should love it because you're limited ;)

because it's hilarious

2013-12-21T22:13:00.002+08:00

i mean really. what's not to love when it comes to That's So Raven x)

The Teddy Bear :3

2013-12-21T21:19:00.001+08:00

helloooo~ :)

currently everything's fine although Kulub, my kitten was sick this past few days. poor him. tomorrow is his last day going to the vet. last shot and he'll be given some meds. by the way, going to the vet was actually my first time ever like really because every time our pets are sick or something, we mostly treat them by ourselves. so yeah its my first going to the vet and the experience was fun? i suppose. you can actually see that all the staffs and doctors were animal friendly and its fun to watch them doing their job.

anyways, remember the teddy bear i said i gave him? so we've exchanged it. well it's more like he took my rabbit pillow and he gave me the teddy i gave him because this time, he'll be able to bring the purple rabbit pillow to sleep without being ashamed as the teddy he never sleeps with it -.-" so yup the teddy's with me now. sleep with it every night since i'm probably sure for those who know me i wouldn't sleep without my favourite pillow and a teddy. the teddy was the substitute for mr. purple rabbit. sigh. actually, he took most of my favourite stuff but its okay. i'm fine with it anyway because what's mine is his and what's his is mine. well that's what Abah said. lol.

this is Mr. Teddy. well thats what i called him tho haha

Woopey?

2013-11-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

my oh my its been a long time i suppose and my new semester will begin in two weeks from now. another semester, a new motivation to get what i want. well not new. its actually the same. achieving great pointers and such.

i've been away because i guess i was very busy since my holiday. went driving back to Sandakan - KK - Sandakan - KK and it keeps on going every week. of course i love coming back but i wished i could've stayed longer because its tiring driving back and forth but i guessed its worth it, meeting my relatives and my soon-to-be family but they've been a family to me since I was a kid. Practically grew up with them.

Ah... I wish my new semester wouldn't be coming so fast yet it's the last semester of my diploma. Wow. Time flies. And actually I missed him tho we talked and texted everyday but I missed talking to him face to face. Sigh. Sometimes you got to let go of something for something more important and to me, it's my education and of course to him as well. I guess as long as we're together to help motivate each other I think we'll be fine.

I think that's all for today. Might try finding some ideas to write about here. Anyways, here's a photo of our phone lol :)

Love,

Mina.

Get ready with me in the car :)

2013-10-09T16:49:00.000+08:00

this was recorded 2 weeks ago when i was actually late to get ready at home for my second cousin's engagement day because of some chores that needed to be done and all i could do was wear my clothes, my inner hijab, wear BB cream and powdered my face.

since i did not show any aurat/aurah, i thought to myself why not record myself doing all things i usually wear when i'm going to some function and here it is :)

please note that this is my normal function make up and i'm not a pro when it comes to this. i did what i usually do and everything i have or whatever i put in bag were all the things that i used. other than that, this is my first time doing a full make up video and first time wearing that kind of hijab. so please bear with me. i'm also fully aware that i'm not wearing seatbelt which is very dangerous and the reason to whatever i'm doing is a shaky. anyway, this is a full 50 minute video and that's another reason why i wanted to do my make up in the car.

thanks for watching :)

with love,

mina xx