Der Sturm in meinem Kopf

Hazaaron Khwahishen Aisi

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Sat, 14 May 2011 01:54:00 +0000

"huii jinase tavaqqo Khastagii kii daad paane kii

vo hamse bhii ziyaadaa Khastaa-e-teG-e-sitam nikale"

Cops bicker, woman is gangraped

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:19:00 +0000

A woman is gangraped while the police fought over who was responsible to stop the crime - yes, this happens only in India. One knows cops here are an apathetic lot. But this story makes me want to scream out. What is happening to us as a nation? Where are we going? Will any of those cops be held accountable for what happened to that 20-year-old woman? Does anybody really care?

I am probably being extremely finicky right now, but the last line in this story irks me - In 2007, the city saw 598 rapes, a slight improvement from 2006 (623 cases) and 2005 (658 cases). Improvement? That there are some 20-odd fewer rapes happening is an improvement? Someone please help me understand this!

WTF!

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:27:00 +0000

Way back in the eighties, there was this song from Desh Premee which went like this:

Jaate hai to Jao, par itna samajh lo,

thodi choodiyan pehen lo, ek ghagra silwalo

Aurat ki hifaazat jo karna paaye,

us mard ko kya kehte hai ye to batlao

Way back then as well, I hated this song and the connotations it carried with it: A woman is this delicate damsel in distress (main abla, main nari... the song goes) who had to be protected by a man; if a man doesn't act accordingly, he is as good (or as bad?) as a woman; he might as well wear bangles and sit at home! But with Amitabh "Mard" Bachchan as the hero, and the fact that this was in the eighties, one was more tolerant to these sentiments; to many it also somehow seemed more acceptable, if not appropriate.

More than twenty years later, one sees this picture, and one's blood boils. The story, of course, is disdainful to all women. Worse, you don't even have to read between the lines. The picture and the story just reveal all that the author feels and thinks: A government (made up of only men if one were to go by the picture) that doesn't act is like a woman (remember the song above?)! Women cannot be tough, competent and efficient leaders; that is a typical characteristic of all men. And if they are not tough, competent and efficient, well sorry, you got to be a woman draped in a sari! And the blurb - "We apologise to all women who may feel the elegant sari is wasted on our administrators" - is, in fact, an apology for an apology.

WTF truly. If this isn't a personal affront to all women, I don't know what is.

Related Post: Mud on one's face

Sublime

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 12:01:00 +0000

Just listen to this.

RIP, Ustad!

Shocking...

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:09:00 +0000

I am so angry that I really can't say anything at this point of time. I urge you to read this. The hospital has responded in the comments section., but to me it seems more like a cover up rather than a desire to do some kind of analysis on what went wrong.

The real India, anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:31:00 +0000

All those who protested loudly about how India was depicted negatively in the movie that is making waves all over (which I didn't think too much about, by the way), do read this.

Will this ever change? Why don't I feel too hopeful about it?

(link via Ludiwg)

A humdinger

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:13:00 +0000

It shouldn't have ended so incongruously, not with a double fault after the glorious tennis one witnessed.

After 5 hours and 14 minutes there shouldn't have been a loser; especially not the one with 95 winning shots. But then, the one with only 25 unforced errors couldn't be the loser either.

Just as you thought the ball couldn't be stuck any harder, the ground strokes couldn't get any better or the forehand shots any more glorious, both these men came out with something that made you sit up on your seats. Both played unbelievably, both were as relentless as the harsh Australian summer; sad that there can be only one winner. As Nadal lay down on the ground out of sheer exhaustion and relief, more than joy probably, your heart went out to the person on the other side of the net, the one beaten by the serve that didn't fail him for over five hours.

You can't actually call Nadal the winner; he just about survived Verdasco's grand assault. Isn't it a surprise that at the end of it all the world no 1 had won just one point more (193 to Verdasco's 192) than his compatriot - the single point that gave him the match?

This one, for me, is there right at the top as one of the best matches I have ever watched, along with the 2008 epic Wimbledon final between Nadal and Federer. Watch these highlights to see for yourselves.

Bloodthirsty Indian media

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:35:00 +0000

What else can one say, especially with a headline such as this in one of the national newspapers this Sunday. Just take a look:

And the blurb actually is even more shocking: "Tel Aviv's decisive action comes after recent terror attacks; New Delhi still hems and haws over its response to 26/11".

This disturbs me; especially when one considers the connotations that the article carries, it is quite distressing. This report is about the latest attack carried out by Israel against Palestine, but the editors of this paper obviously see this as the most appropriate response; in fact, this newspaper seems actually proud of this massacre - "200 dead, 700 injured", it screams out. And the headline unflinchingly dares India to do an Israel and bomb Pakistan.

Has it come to this, that we view India and Israel in the same light, that we do not see how detrimental it is to even us to compare the situation in this country with what is happening in the Middle East? The electronic media in this country, led by pseudo patriotic fervour of Arnab Goswami (of Times Now), has already started a war with our neighbour and now, it is the turn of the print media to jump into the fray - baying for blood, advocating violence. Don't the likes of the Indian Express editor or Arnab Goswami stop and think for a minute - Do they really believe we will not be affected in any way by this so-called war? Do they really think war will solve all problems?

And when someone wakes up, looks at this headline and thinks it is totally apt, it troubles me even more. After all, there could be more than one person out there who thinks in the same manner.

Where are we going?

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:17:00 +0000

Yet another coffee break at work turned into a heated argument last Friday - tempers flared, and at the end of it all I was left slightly unnerved. It all started with a very casual discussion about last month's terror attacks, one of the colleagues saying we should stop patronising Pakistani music. Yeah right, I told myself, that definitely will stop all kinds of terrorism. I brought up this news and talked about how I thought it was totally ridiculous. Voices of dissent immediately - and I was told I was in the wrong. The lawyers were doing the right thing by refusing to defend him; and Shiv Sena did the right thing by attacking one who just wanted to do his duty. One of the colleagues was pretty vociferous actually - that Kasab should be publicly killed without even a trial. And, he felt, there was nothing wrong in anyone attacking the lawyer; in his own words, this colleague said: "Think like an Indian first and do what is good for the nation." So attacking a lawyer just wanting to perform his duty and uphold the constitutional right was being extremely patriotic! Can someone please help me here? And there was more - since Kasab had simply mowed down unarmed, innocent people, who couldn't defend themselves in any manner, it was simply okay to lynch him.

I know these terrorists killed people in cold-blood, and were caught on cameras doing so. Does that mean it was okay to do the same to him? Why don't we just start right at the beginning? We have ample television evidence of what happened at Babri Masjid; why don't we do the same with all those people as well? We have one of the major leaders of 2002 Gujarat genocide going on record and saying: "...we didn't spare a single Muslim shop, we set everything on fire, we set them on fire and killed them." And how did all this make him feel? "I can't tell you what a good time it was... Maza aata hai na, saheb (I enjoy it)... I came back after I killed them, called up the home minister and went to sleep... I felt like Rana Pratap." The policemen who openly assisted the rampaging Hindu mobs were not punished; they were not even sent to a trial. In fact, we shamelessly voted back the person behind Gujarat carnage to power and are okay with he being positioned as a future Prime Minister of this country. More recently in Orissa we have had thousands of people driven out of their homes and threatened openly. Why don't we get "patriotic" about all this and shout from rooftops that perpetrators of all these crimes should be brought to court as well? No, wait, did I say courts and trial? Why bother? With such overwhelming evidence and confessions on record, why don't we just publicly kill/lynch all these people as well?

As I mentioned here before, I don't understand something like this - to me this is simple and straightforward - we have evidence against Kasab, recorded evidence; we have a strong case against him and from what I can see immense international support; why are we scared to send him to trial? And if there are loopholes in the system that allows one such as Kasab to get away despite all the evidence, then what we need is a clean up of the judicial system. Not some kind of jungle law.

What disturbs me is this - that people seemed to think this was a good idea, that somehow this was totally acceptable. Is that really a solution?

Acid test

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I can understand anger; the public outcry is totally justifiable as well. And my heart, in fact, goes out to the two girls - Swapnika and Praneeta - and their families. I feel sad and angry too - furious at the three men who believed they had the right to disfigure a girl because she had rejected one of them. When they were caught and paraded in front of the media, I felt good and hoped that they would pay for the crime they had committed. But this isn't what I had asked for. And when the minister of irrigation goes on record and says, "The encounter took place in tune with people's wishes", I am worried; absolutely worried for a country that celebrates police excesses, for the people who view this as "justice done", for a society that encourages this and refuses to see that this brutality is just a cover up for police inepititude. This, in fact, scares me more.

This is jungle law; concerned with the outcry over the heinous attack, the police decided to take the law into their own hands. We are given to understand that the youth tried to attack the police and the "encounter" was an act of self-defense. Attack the police? Three misguided youth, who didn't have a criminal record against them, had weapons hidden with them when in police custody? Doesn't that again speak volumes for the inefficient police force? Following the incident, I agree, the police had acted fast: arrested the accused, recovered the bike and the acid bottles - all evidence required. What else was left to do? Deliver justice. And that is what they did. Or so we tell ourselves.

We the people are not supposed to celebrate this. In reality, the police have committed a crime - this, to me, is no different from custodial death. Don't we live in a civilized society? What happened to law, courts? Shouldn't these men have been tried in the courts of the land as well? I agree justice in India doesn't come easy; the judicial system is in urgent need of reforms. What was then required was a call to cleanse the system, an agitation to spruce up the police force; we shouldn't be celebrating this.

Will now someone speak up against the officers involved, ask that they be brought to justice as well?

Cry, my beloved country

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:36:00 +0000

Update: Read this before you proceed. It so very eloquently captures the bleakness in my heart.
*******************************************
How does one react to something like this? What does one feel?
I feel upset.
I feel hurt.
I feel anger.
I feel petrified, terrified.
I feel helpless.
I feel sad.
I am just confused.

When people ask me do you love your country, I usually don't have an answer. I am not sure what it exactly means. But today I am certain of this: I would never want to bring a child into this country, where an apathetic government showers empty platitudes after every attack but does nothing to ensure one's safety.

As Bombay continues to burn, 30 hours after the mayhem started, I am extremely worried for the future of this country. It makes me wonder where we are headed as a nation, as people. What does it take for someone to wake up one morning and decide, today I am going to kill people? How does one get out of the house and bid goodbye to the family, not knowing if one will ever come back again? When I was growing up I remember some kind soul tell me, "Try to live each day as though it were your last"; we don't even have to try any more, do we?

Tomorrow we will talk of the indomitable "Mumbai spirit", the never-say-die attitude; I wonder, is it really that? Or do we really have a choice except to go on living, from one terrorist attack to another? That is what life has become in this country, hasn't it - a few shared moments with family and friends before another attack like this strikes again. We call up our near and dear ones, assuring ourselves that everybody we know is safe - yes, at the end of the day we are all selfish; I wonder, however, how long it is before misfortune strikes even closer home.

Bomb blasts, terror attacks - these have become a way of life. I am upset because that isn't how it is supposed to be. Children in this country don't have to grow up worried about death; they are supposed to have parks to play in, gardens to walk through, a life of innocence. This is not how it is supposed to be. This is not the future they should wake up to.

I am angry at an impotent government that "condemns the attacks" every time, "resolves to fight against terror" yet does nothing on the ground to combat it. Why is it that if the government had information such as this, nothing was done to prevent what happened? I wonder why there has been no terrorist attack in America since 9/11, but our country has witnessed many "such incidents" (that is what they are, isn't it) in this year alone.

I am angry with the politicians who immediately make a beeline to the "sites of tragedy", offering their condolences. Why doesn't someone tell them we don't need this? Their shallow gestures are of no use to us. What we need is for them to act, not react always.

I am angry at how the Indian media loves a situation like this, how insensitive our reporters are asking a son waiting for information about his father trapped inside or a husband who has lost touch with his wife since 2.30 AM yesterday morning, "how do you feel"? What kind of a question is that? How does one feel? How does one cope knowing someone you love may never walk out of all this alive? I cannot also understand why the media is not barred from reporting what the police is planning to do. Doesn't that mean the attackers themselves have ready access to information, one that helps them plan their strategy?

Most of all, I am just tired: tired of asking why, of wondering when will all this end?

Awesome Gul, awful commercial

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:41:00 +0000

Am I the only one who does not like the new Tata Sky Plus ad and finds it stereotypical? Whoever I have spoken to has loved the ad, none sees the emphasising of gender constructs in it and as for me - "aren't you reading too much into a simple advertisement?" - is the often heard response. No, I am not.

Take the teaser for instance. In the two that I watched, one has Aamir Khan washing dishes and the other has him washing clothes. Unaware that he is being watched, Aamir is shown singing in a carefree manner. The camera zooms in on him and he suddenly notices it. He is annoyed that he is caught doing these domestic chores, his "wife's" tasks. A visibly miffed Aamir shouts at the camera: Wife ki help kar raha hoon bhai. What's wrong?

What's wrong? Why is our man so upset? Only because he is caught doing stuff he wouldn't normally be doing; because he seems to believe that it is beneath him to be even seen washing dishes or clothes, all "women's" tasks.

I was taken aback at what was being said. To me, this is the most obvious genderising of household chores. Cleaning, cooking, washing, taking care of the house - these are a wife's tasks! And when the husband "helps"out (why the hell is it not your duty, and not just helping out, to do them as well?), he is doing the wife a huge favour. And despite that he would rather not be caught on the camera.

And then the actual ad shows up on all television screens. Yes, yes, I agree - Gul Panang looks awesome but I surely would have expected a lot more from this Dor woman. But I digress. Let us look at the advertisement itself:

Gul wakes up to see a cup of hot tea (and don't miss the red rose) next to her bed. She is shocked into consciousness; she walks out and sees her husband busy cooking - he has her breakfast ready, her tiffin packed (by the way - surprise, surprise - the lunch is packed but Gul is not even shown getting out to work as Aamir does) - all done. Gul is dumbstruck - this is not something she is used to, something that happens on a regular basis, and something that she can ever expect.

It doesn't end there - Aamir comes back from work, arms filled with grocery bags and all ready to make tea. And then the truth is revealed - why has Aamir been so "nice" to Gul throughout the day? So that Gul would allow him to watch the cricket match instead of catching up on her serials. The stereotypes abound in this scene - women watch serials and what kind - Kyonki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi - and men watch sports.

And what happens towards the end when Aamir realises he doesn't necessairly have to put up this nice, helpful husband image to get his way? He gives the tea container back to her and demands that she makes tea - the natural order of things has been established (of course, all thanks to Tata Sky Plus) and everything is fine with the world!

I guess I am being too harsh on Tata Sky Plus; advertisements which reinforce stereotypes abound on the idiot box. I remember a commercial for Jaipan electronics from the nineties. A bunch of women are seen walking down the street, raising slogans - "We want a revolution! We want a revolution!" Sadly, what was the revolution all about - the Jaipan items that would ease their domestic chores! Another advertisement that is currently doing the rounds and that irks me every time I see it is this commercial on HDFC pension plans. The man sacks all the domestic help in the house and asks the wife to get back to cooking, washing clothes and mopping the floor. So that he can feel great about taking her on a Singapore trip. Not once is it even implied that he would share the responsibility equally!

What irks me is that in this ever-changing world, these gender constructs may not even be totally true any more. For instance, why isn't a man (or even a single woman) ever shown in the detergent advertisements? In a world where a lot of men and women are having to get out and live on their own, don't they ever wash clothes?

I do not want to imply that there is absolutely no one out there who thinks differently. I love the advertisment where the daughter dishes out a cheque so that her father can get a bigger car or the Tata Indica Xeta ad where four women get out on their own, try to hit on a good-looking stranger (who is so dumb that he doesn't realise it is a bait)! Unfortunately, however, for every such commercial there are hundred others like the Tata Sky Plus one.

I know a lot of men who do their own laundry and cook their own food. I know I am not being fair to them, but sometimes I do wonder if this would change when these men get married? Whether it is selling detergents or mutual funds, these commercials are just reinforcing what is considered to be the norm/what is natural.

And in a country that is changing ever-so-slowly, I guess, my greatest fear is that these examples of stereotyping would condition one to believe that this is the "natural order" of things and it should be kept alive.

My favourite Diwali pic

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 23:50:00 +0000

is this one taken in 2006. I don't celebrate Diwali; it is not one of my favourite festivals (do I even have one?). Yet, over the last few years when my sister has been here with her kids, getting together with family has become the norm. This Diwali was the first when my 6-year-old nephew took his first steps towards bursting crackers on his own. Even as he ventured out into the unknown, his father stood by - watchfully - just in case the younger one needed a helping hand.

Vacation Postcards - 3

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:58:00 +0000

Jaipur: Jantar Mantar

Everybody would have heard about the Jaipur observatory that houses the largest sun dial of the world. I found this collection of architectural astronomical marvels really fascinating. Located right next to the City Palace, Jantar Mantar is one of the five astronomical observatories built by Maharaja Jai Singh in the year 1728. Formerly called Yantra Mantra, meaning instruments and formulae, the observatory has devices for measuring time, predicting eclipses, tracking planet positions and stars in their orbit and more.

Jantar Mantar in Delhi and Jaipur are said to have been built on the orders of Emperor Muhammad Shah, who asked Jai Singh to make corrections in the astronomical tables and to confirm the already available planetary positions. Sawai Jai Singh is said to have sent his envoys to various parts of the world to collect information in astronomy. The Jaipur observatory was apparently based on the data available in the La Hire's "Tables". Upon completion it was discovered to be even more accurate than the table itself. There are of course other interesting legends on the origin of these astronomical devices.

The observatory houses the Jaiprakash Yantra, Samrat Yantra, Ram Yantra and the Composite instrument, which comprises of a sundial and a massive hemisphere.

		Laghu Samrat Yantra (Small Sundial)
		Samrat Yantra (Large Sundial): Stands at 27 metre tall, its shadow moving visibly at 1mm per second. Its face is angled at 27 degrees, the latitude of Jaipur.
		Rasivalaya Yantra: Set of 12 instruments, corresponding to the signs of Zodiac
		Jai Prakash Yantra: A multi-purpose instrument that tells the times, measures the coordinates of celestial bodies and the zodiac sign of the day, among others.
		Ram Yantra: Used for finding the azimuth and altitude of the sun, moon and stars

Vacation Postcards -2

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:49:00 +0000

Jaipur - contd.

Hawa Mahal: Our next stop was Hawa Mahal or the Palace of winds, built by Maharaja Sawai Pratap Singh in1799 AD. Hawa Mahal will surely overwhelm anybody - against the backdrop of the blue sky it seems to literally balance itself in the air. It is made of red and pink sandstone and the motifs are painted of quick lime. It is said to be built so that the court ladies could watch without being seen. The palace is said to be designed in the form of Krishna's crown. The side facing the street outside the palace complex has 953 small windows and the breeze which circulates through these windows gives the place its name. It definitely is an architectural wonder.

City Palace: Jaipur's City Palace is a sprawling palace right in the middle of the city and forms one of the major tourist attractions. It covers a huge area and is divided into a series of gardens, courtyards and buildings. A part of the exquisite palace is still the home for the former rulers. The palatial complex has many buildings such as Chandra Mahal, Mubarak Mahal, Mukut Mahal, Maharani's Palace etc.

		Mubarak Mahal
		Rajendra Gate, flanked by marble elephants, leads to Diwan-e-Khas
		Diwan-e-Khas
		Maharani Palace
		Chandra Mahal Palace, where the former Royal family still lives

Vacation Postcards - 1

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 01:53:00 +0000

Jaipur: The Pink City

Our annual holiday this year took us to Rajasthan in the first and second week of October. Our first destination was Jaipur, the capital of Rajasthan. We landed in the pink city almost at 11 in the night and were received at the airport by Shankar, our driver-and-guide for the next ten days. We were put up at KK Royal Hotel and Convention Centre, which was on the other end of the city. So, soon after we landed, we were given a preview of the place and given to understand why the pink city was called so. The entire city of Jaipur is not actually pink; it is just one part of the city where all the houses, shops, institutions you see around you have a hue of pink to them: the name derives from this part itself.

KK Royal Hotel was located very close to the Amber Fort and had an awesome view of the fort from its terrace.

Amber Fort: For a history and architecture buff, Navratri is probably not a good time to visit this place. The fort has a makeshift temple set up for the festive season and was streaming with devotees. But if you find can find your way, the fort's breathtaking and ornate interiors as opposed to its rugged, defensive exteriors are sure to enthrall anyone.

Amber or Amer Fort was the original citadel of the ruling Kachchawa clan of Amber before the capital was shifted to Jaipur. You can either drive up to the Fort or ride up on elephants. We decided to drive up since there was a huge line for the elephant ride. This fort, also built in white and red sandstone, is connected via fortified passages to Jaigarh Fort on a hill above the fort complex.

Here are some pictures of the fort:

		View of the city and the Aravalli Hills from atop the Fort
		The Ganesh Pol: The gate that leads to the Palace portion of the Fort. Above the gate one can see the image of Lord Ganesh.
		The reverse side of Ganesh Pol: Has an elevated walkway and a one-storey structure, enabling royal women to view the happenings without being seen
		Room with a view, exclusively for women

The interiors of Amber Fort show clear influences of Mughal and Hindu culture. The walls, roofs and the floors are intricately done:

The final image is that of the Sheesh Mahal which is full of mirrors. It is said that one candle lit in this room was enough to light up the whole hall.

From Amber Fort we made our way to Jaipur, stopping en route at the Lake Palace.

		Final view of Amber Fort, en route to Jaipur
		The Lake Palace, Jaipur

Yaadon ke saaye

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:21:00 +0000

We should feel honoured. We have been tagged by the kid. And as responsible adults we have to respond. So, here we go.

My oldest memory:

Taking off from what the kid says, having lived very long on this third rock from the sun, we have too many experiences, memories of which are all forgotten. Besides, our friends tell us we have a 3-second memory, so my oldest memory is like 3-seconds back. Alright, alright. We get serious. But seriously, I don't remember a whole lot of things from my childhood or growing up years unless I rely on hearsay narratives. One of the things I can recollect however is my long held fascination for construction. This is from the years when my parents were building their home, I was about 6 or 7 years old. I watched in awe as each brick was put together and the walls came up, leading to rooms and then an entire floor. I wondered (and still do) how one can visualise an entire house from nothing. This, my colleagues will tell you, has lasted all these years - even today you can catch me watching this whole process mesmerised.

Ten years ago:

1. The organisation we believed in had shut its doors on our face and we protested (seriously, with hunger strikes, blood donations, even police station and high court visits) against the injustice meted out to us. I was idealistic (yes, even at that late age) and believed we could take on the might of the money. We succeeded to a certain extent, and the experience has surely left me richer.

2. I took my first steps towards making a career in the good-bad IT world. Sometimes, we look back and wonder - हमने क्या खोया, हमने क्या पाया

My first thought this morning:

As always - list of things to do for the day. On the top of the list was this: I have to write to the kid!

If you built a time capsule, what would it contain:

This is easy - my gramophone, my LPs, my music system and all my CDs, cassettes, my entire library, stationery and a fountain pen (we grew up in the days of no computers/laptops and are quite used to penning - as against typing - our thoughts down). I guess we should say some food to help us survive as well; else, what is the point in having all the above.

This year:

Has been like any other - कभी खुशी कभी गम

14 years from now:

We will be 14 years older (if still alive) and hopefully retired with loads of money to be able to travel around the world.

Now tagged:

This is tough. But we shall tag

Ludwig - We always like to hear what he has to say

Unmana - I am sure she will have some interesting answers

Teofkap - Hopefully, this will make him do his first blog post

Mridula - This shouldn't really scare you

Shruthi - She always has fascinating things to say

Bare your soul

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 07:23:00 +0000

Unmana tagged me here and asked me to bare my soul. I am not extremely good at doing this - revealing my innermost thoughts I mean - and since I cannot refuse, I shall try. Since there is an option of not answering a question if you don't want to I will do just that, if required.

First, the rules:

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person who tagged them.

Here we go:

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

This is hypothetical and hence I can't say. I usually cross the bridge only when I come to it. I strongly believe that your reaction depends on the circumstances, irrespective of how much you may tell yourself this is how it will be. I don't think too much about "what ifs" and "what might be".

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

Have enough money to be able to travel around the world, at least once. If I can have the money for two people that would of course be great.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

None in particular. I have never been so angry with any person that I would like to kick him/her. But in general, if I were given a choice, all those who abuse others (irrespective of gender, race, class, what_you_will).

4. What will you do with a billion dollars?

Travel around the world
Save for my retirement
Donate the rest

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Yes. And I have.

6. Which is more blessed - loving someone or being loved by someone?

Neither. What is important to me is that you love truly and that you are truly loved.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

Not at all, for I truly don't believe in something like this. I will just live my life as I always have.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Nothing. Keep the relationship as it is since it is anway a secret. Why should he/she even know?

9. If you would like to act with someone who will it be? Your GF/BF or an actor/actresses?

None. I believe I would make a terrible actress.

10. What takes you down the fastest?

I am not sure. Honestly.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years' time?

I love Unmana's answer here and would like to say the same. But if I have to be different - I want to see myself retired, with enough money to take care of my needs (and a little greed) and to travel around the world.

12. What's your fear?

None. Actually, it is more like not sure. I don't remember being really scared of something - ever.

13. What kind of person do you think is the person who tagged you?

I know her only because of her blog and hence this description could be limited. But I believe she is gentle, yet strong.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

I would rather have enough to eat two square meals a day, indulge in a few of my likes, and come home to someone I care about.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Check the time on my phone.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

No. I don't believe that I could. That can be very stifling for me.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

Wouldn't that depend on who the two people are? Please see my answer to question 1.

18. Do you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?

I probably will forget faster than forgive. But I can't be certain about this. Again, I have no point of reference.

19. Do you prefer being single than having a relationship?

I would rather be single than in a wrong relationship.

20. List 6 people to tag.

This is tough. I don't know 6 people who read my blog. Will it be okay if I say anyone who wants to do this is tagged? Well, if I have to, I would tag Ludwig, Truman, Mridula and Shruthi (sorry, I know no more). And yes, the second rule (given above) is not applicable - you have the right to refuse.

Unbelievable!

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:48:00 +0000

This sucks. Coming from the alumni of a premier educational institute, it double sucks. There is just no other way to put. Unless of course I copy what a friend (who pointed me to this) had to say. I am so shocked that this comes from the group that is supposedly organising a "Global Conference" that I don't know what to say. Yes, I am totally outraged.

A short background: PanIIT, an umbrella alumni organisation for all the seven IITs in the country organises a global conference every year, a "premier event that brings together an eclectic group of industry visionaries, thought leaders and IIT alumni from across the globe". This eclectic group, of course, are an extremely sensitive lot and cannot be faulted with having forgotten their spouses' entertainment while they debated on important topics such as "nation building" and "education". So what have you - a few sessions "Especially for Spouses".

Let's get this straight okay - spouse as per this assorted group's parlance means "wife". No, men do not qualify. You see, they are the IIT alumni. You got to be kidding me - women and IIT alumni! Of course not. The only way a woman can be associated with the premier educational institution of India is if she is married to one of the students. So, while the IITian "chooses to inspire, innovate and transform", an exclusive track is designed for the spouses (yes, yes, we mean wives) aimed at making them "Sampoorna" - "the complete woman, who is able to perfectly balance her personal (always first priority, isn't it?), professional and public personality".

Don't get angry yet. There is more. This track, it is said, is designed to "completely inform" and entertain the spouses. And how? First day you have sessions by the likes of Hema Malini (a complete woman? Excuse me!) on women's empowerment and Shilpa Shetty enlightening you on how to enrich your spiritual life. There are of course more knowledgeable sessions - "a mystic trail (in the campus)... through some of India's most well known practices such as Astrology, Palmistry, Gemology (and no not study of gems, but this), Nadi and Kili Josiyam..., giving the participants an opportunity to get a first hand experience of some of India's most occult practices and beliefs." Wow! How wonderful, isn't it? They know exactly what the women are interested in - spirituality and mysticism. And no, it doesn't seem to strike them that the spouses would probably be interested in a tour of the campus, its labs etc. Remember the assumptions: spouses == women; and women are only interested in spiritualism and occult!

Or jewellery and clothes and weddings and food. Yes, your heard me right. There is a shopping trail - but only to jewellery, silk and handicraft stores (not books, not music, only gold). And yes, there are attractive offers and discounts as well.

And for the finale, you will be in the presence of a "very famous Sampoorna woman", who is - you bet - the "spouse of an IITian".

What utter nonsense. Why didn't the PanIIT group just point the spouses to this page instead?

Update: The "mystic trail" track and Shilpa Shetty session have now been removed. The rest, however, stay as is.

Memories of a Puja

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:23:00 +0000

I don't ever remember celebrating festivals when we were growing up. My parents were not the ritual/tradition believers. There was no Durga puja during Dasera, nor was Lakshmi appeased during Diwali; I would never have heard of Karwa Chauth and Janmasthami if not for Bollywood films. Every festival day was the same, except for Ganesh Chaturthi. For some reason, this was one festival that was duly observed every year. The day before my father would assign tasks to each one of us: there was stuff required for the puja - the flowers, leaves, agarbattis and not to forget, the idol itself; each one was responsible for something. Most children, probably, are enthused about festivals because of new clothes and the sweetmeats; we never got new clothes, but somehow to all four of us this festival meant something. Sometimes I wonder if we felt more responsible because of the assigned tasks, or did we just enjoy working together towards that common goal?

On the day of the puja itself, there was whole preparation - setting up the temporary mandir - made of leaves and fruits, decorating the platform to place the idol. Dad always asked us to put our books - especially that subject we found really hard to master - next to the idol; it was always Maths for me. Despite all those years of unfailingly placing my books next to Him on this day, the endearing, pot-bellied Lord didn't shower His blessings and make matters easy for me! My father would read out the mantras and shlokas and we religiously did what he asked us to. And when he read the story out, we heard the same with utmost concentration as though our life depended on it. I do believe it was fun in its own way.

Things changed - I "grew" up (or so I thought) and became a more "conscious" person. I started to question the whole thing; I didn't believe in God and hence it didn't make sense for me to continue with the ritual any more. These were those days when one couldn't say 'no' to fathers still, so one sought refuge in moms. Mother dear told dad she needed my help in the kitchen; I am sure he knew the truth, but never said anything to me. And I got away from having to sit for the puja with everybody else. During my stint in the kitchen I watched mom make the traditional stuff - the coconut sweet, the kheer, pulihora and of course the modak (which we call undraalu). I, of course, never learnt to make any of these myself.

The tradition continued until the year before Dad passed away. Ironically, the year dad died - exactly 11 days after the festival - we hadn't done the puja at home. And never did again.

Until I got married. And I never realized I would relive my growing up years all over. Hubby dear isn't the religious kind either, though he is a believer. I realized soon after that this was the only festival he celebrated as well, coincidentally. He never asked me to perform the puja along with him, and I had no issues if he wanted to. And so the ritual started all over again. Post marriage mom was with us, and she would cook all those almost_forgotten_sweetmeats and I would help her, while hubby performed the puja, the shlokas and mantras streaming out of a tape recorder.

For the first time since my marriage, mom was not around for Ganesh puja this year (she has gone to the US). And for some reason, for the first time since marriage I wanted to make all those traditional dishes. So, an email went out to mom, recipes were sought and duly received. And we dirtied our hands too. To be honest I am actually rather proud of the results. Here are the pics to prove that I didn't do badly :).

Post puja, when I sat at the dining table with hubby, my sister and her kids, I was actually reminded of the old days - a father, a mother and four kids now scattered in different parts of the world. For a moment I felt nostalgic.

And realized I missed those moments.

25 years of a classic

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 01:02:00 +0000

Read: This wonderful piece on the making of a great movie. While talking of Kundan Shah's diploma film, Shah says, "It made me laugh and it made me think." That can be said about Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro as well - that is what the movie does to me every time I watch it.

Aside: A eureka moment while reading the piece. Back in the late 70s and early 80s there were a lot of movies whose titles ran into five/six words. Examples: Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro, Albert Pinto Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai, Arvind Desaid Ki Ajeeb Dastaan, Mohan Joshi Haazir Ho. And no, we are not talking only of offbeat films. Remember Dulhan Wohi Jo Piya Man Bhaaye, Main Tulsi Tere Aangan Ki? These movies were never identified by abbreviations. While today, a movie title that has more than 2 words in it is immediately abbreviated. Reflection of the times?

Birth of a new champion

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:39:00 +0000

Five sets and almost five hours later, in near-darkness he scrambled up the Wimbledon stands to embrace his family and break down in tears. And no body summed up the moment better than the winner himself. Asked how did he feel when he collapsed on Centre Court - in relief, exhaustion and probably disbelief on having dethroned the five-time champion, Rafael Nadal said, "It is impossible to describe it, no?"

It truly was impossible to describe. No player had beaten Federer on grass since 2002, and it had to be an epic final of this kind. Two sets down, Federer staged one of the most incredible comebacks in the history of tennis to take the next two sets in tie-breaks. In the closely-fought 4th set tie-break, the champion even saved a championship point. But 7-8 in the final set, with Nadal serving, Federer finally succumbed. He had converted only 1 of the 14 break points he had and his 25 aces to Nadal's 6 finally came to naught.

But Nadal was on course right from the beginning. He broke Federer in the third game of the first set and accomplished what no player had done in the last 15 days: take a set off Federer. The champion came right back breaking Nadal in his very first game of the second set; unfortunately, that was the only break Federer managed to convert in the five-hour final. Nadal broke back using the same tactics as he did in the first set: awesome forehand that just seemed to work and hammering away at Federer's backhand rally. It seemed like a repeat of the French Open final was inevitable: a straight-set trounce of the great champion. But the rain-interruption half way through the third set, when both players were still on serve, helped Federer rethink and recoup. He was simply unstoppable in the tie-break, serving four aces to force a fourth set.

If the game was extended to another set and yet another rain break, it was purely because of Nadal's loss of focus for a moment. Leading 5-2 in the tie-break of the fourth set and on his serve, the challenger played his two worst points of the entire match to give Federer a reprieve and a step-in. The momentum seemed to swing Federer's way. But Nadal was not the one to give up - he probably knew he couldn't let a 2007-final happen again. His athleticism was relentless as was his grit and determination. And finally came that one last shot that Federer couldn't handle. And in fading light, a champion faded into darkness while a new one was born.

And watching Nadal lift the cup with Federer's dejected face in the background you wished this was one cup that could be split. It wasn't to be. As Nadal rightly put it, "I am very happy for me, but sorry for him, because he deserved this title, too."

Writers Wanted

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:11:00 +0000

GetOffUrAss is looking for travel writers who can travel with them to Ladakh, starting August 28 through September. Work would require one to compile places to stay and write about for GetOffUrAss and HiddenPlaces.in. All expenses will be taken care of except booze and cigarettes. Minimum photography skills are required to document work.

Whoever is on will get to travel on GetOffUrAss Ladakh 2008 trips with their other clients. For more information visit their website.

If you are interested please contact Santosh at +91 9845442224

What utter rubbish!

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:22:00 +0000

I can't believe Uttam Dave, professional counsellor and psychologist, is being serious! His gyaan, expectedly only to women because "the onus for overall adjustment in life always lies largely with women", on managing family after marriage is nothing but appalling. Laws and in-Laws indeed! I am so shocked I don't even know what to say. Forget the Indian woman, this "advice" is an insult to the sensibility of husbands and in-laws as well. Seriously, is he a psychologist for real? I can only feel sorry for all his patients then!

What is even more sad is this: that this whole gibberish is narrated to a woman, who religiously listens, reports and doesn't say anything at all. Doesn't she have an opinion? Or is she just taking Dave's advice - "accept everything, don't get angry, don't throw temper tantrums and keep quiet at all times" - real seriously?

Listen

noreply@blogger.com (Emma) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:13:00 +0000

I love this clip; every time I listen to it I revel in the innocence of childhood it represents. Please do...