I had gone to the beach with my 5 year old niece. Yup, those were the days I was possessed by the fitness bhoot till the real me took over again, but that’s another story. Anyway, there I was doing my runs while my niece made sand castles with the help of her toys. 45 minutes into the run and then I decided it was time to retire. As I walked up to my niece I noticed a couple of tiny toddies helping her build the sandy caricatures.

They were just regular kids… sharing toys, giggling at each other’s silliness, looking proudly at the sight of their handmade monument. But for some reason I didn’t notice them just as that. To me the only bit that was very visible was – These kids are Muslims – And they are playing with my niece.

Yes better sense did prevail and I did let the kids play to their hearts content. But for many days I was not able to rid myself of the guilt for thinking something so irrelevant. Had those kids been of any other faith, would have even noticed or given a crap?

Cut to the movie…

As part of the elitist group of movie goers (the self appointed ones, mind you), most often I would crib over the fact that our popular productions houses & directors lacked balls of steel when it came to experimentation. Thinking out of the box was hard, sticking to tried & tested formula came but so naturally. And Mr. Karan Johar was no exception.

He made big budgeted, highly diabetic candy floss films and as professional sugar addicts we licked it all up time and time again. That is till Kabhi Alvida Na Kehana happened.

My Name Is Khan is bundled with flaws; be it where airlines don’t reimburse a passenger unnecessarily detained by immigration officials or the so not needed Bollywood clichés or the lead protagonist’s trademark stammering.

But, for me, you see the movie began and ended every time Rizwan Khan uttered “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist”. The sincerity was crystal clear right there and then. Not all fingers are the same and rightly, not all Muslims are terrorists. A fact we all are aware of. And yet a fact so easily forgotten. Therefore I am glad Karan Johar made this film.

But then again, I’d rather have him selling candy floss.

And therefore movie review Twitter ishstyle. But promise not to make this a regular habit.

Watching What’s Your Rashee? Can’t believe this freaking crap is houseful. #wyr

Harman had clean chest in movie 1. And now hairy growth everywhere. I am feeling displaced. #wyr

Gawd the Aries chick is UGH! Would reject fast fast #wyr

Ever noticed Priyanka has wrinkled neck. But I guess not many go beyond the legs or max to max flat tummy. #wyr

With the Aquarian chick it feels more like clash of accents. And yes Harman can’t act. #wyr

News Flash : 20 mins into the movie. Mum sleeping. #wyr

Okay so I’d marry the Aquarian chick just for her car. Its a beamer. That too 6 series people! #wyr

Shit. Rejecting Aqurian girl. Its not her’s but her mama’s car. #wyr

Wish I had a nanaji like Jogesh’s. Acrding to his logic; I wud hve seen Sallu in all 12 guys I have met via the arnged route. Damn you nana! #wyr

Gemini chick rejected. Too short skirt, low low cleaveage. 3 inch heels. Pink lipstick. Frizzy hair. Way too mod no? #wyr

So why the ffing is Harman wearing full sleeves shirts and sweatshirts in this heated bombay wheather. Bitten by AB Baby syndrome.#wyr

Am pissed. Don’t know more at whom. 300 bucks tickets. Watching sleeping mother or watching this junk for a film.#wyr

Okay don’t get this bit. Shaved hands but not chest. This is seriously disturbing. #wyr

Cancerian chick looks straight out of RVGs horror flick. Be afraid. Very afraid. #wyr

So Cancerian chick is not a virgin. I see no issue. Cause Yogesh don’t seem to getting laid sorts. So balances out no?! #wyr

Libran woman is a lezzie. A hot one. Joyesh no chance dude. #wyr

I like it when the camera gets very close to Baweja’s face. Makes it blur. Give Hrthik Roshan feeling. Makes it bearable. The movie i.e.#wyr

As a side note. I believe the best I’m a virgin line has been said by Preity Zinta in Dil Se. Awesomeness. #wyr

Okay so I think the Libran chick has hots on the Aqurian chick. Or am I digressing? #Wyr

Piceasian baby looks like ugly version of Aishwariya Rai. Wow Harman sad one of Hrthik. Which makes this sad one of Boom. Or Soojha Bandar.

Gawd another song. This makes Rajshree’s Hum Saath Saath Hain so so so Oscar worthy. #wyr

A theory. Ashuthosh made balti balti bhar ke money from his previous films. Now wants to dispose money to evade taxation or underworld. #wyr

Thankfully Interval is here. And yes Mum is awake for Caramel Popcorn. Sad bit its a small one. Will sleep shortly. #wyr

Oooooo oooo meri Bebo. Me so gonna waste my money on this crap shit. But still end up laughing. Govinda rocks. #doknotdisturb

Leo is here. Leo is here. Me likes Leo. So what she looks moojra types. Me still likes. But will Yogesh Bhai? #wyr

For a moment there I thought the Leo chick asked the dude – You (y)gaysh? Anyway my mum think Terrance is Gay. I find him Hawt! #wyr

I loved the Leo chicklet. She whipped the NRI’s flat arse. Good she walked out on him. #wyr

Horny. Horny. Is this Nandini uff Scorpio. So wanna be types. #wyr nothing personal Scorpio ladies beat Ashutosh yaar

Wait wait a minute. What do I say a glimpse of clean smooth chaati. Yes yes there is God. There is hope after all people. #wyr

Okay this may sound weird but it feels like deja vu types. Like watching Rab Ne Bani De Jodi. On the loops. #wyr

Yaar while tweeting forgot to see the next chick’s star sign. The doctor one. She’s cute. I like her. Yogesh looks like the Swades guy. #wyr

Wow I thought only YSR guys did this. But looks like Ashu too believes in recyling. The doctor chick plot is mini Swades. #wyr

Wow not again. The Taurian chick plot looks like mod day Jodha Akbar. No jokes. #wyr

The Taurian girl is demented. Run. If I were (y)gash. #wyr

The hair is bak. Nahiiiiii. #wyr

Su che su che su che maan maa su che. Okay fine. This movie is stinker. #wyr

Saggie is here. Saggie is here. #wyr

Want to sue Mr Ashu.He make Sag slut like.Okay so maybe weee bit we are but we hve somthing called taste. And Yogesh aint tasty as all. #wyr

So it looks like some fart face complained to Ashutosh about my Rashi slashing. Bloody BB service went down.#wyr

Anyway the last chick, Capri was underage and our Yogesh is not a perve. #wyr

Finally Yogesh gets a girl. Gets married. Funny bit, even he didn’t know what rashee she belonged. Imagine us marela thakela audience. #wyr

On the whole a must avoidable film. #wyr

On the good side mum slept thru the film. Thank God she didn’t watch it or else I wud have ended up as the Dasera non veg dish at home.#wyr

And it can’t get more fake than this. This is like watching silicon work its magic in real life. #rakhisawant

How come the guju guy is putting haldi and not fem fem se gori gori cream? And where the fuck are his sardar brothers friends?!#rakhisawant

Guju guys sister is cute. But looks so zonked out? Took couple of shots to bare the pain of watching her brother commit marital suicide?#rs

Overdose of overacting we are being fed by these sidey television stars. Thank god for Fatafat digestive golies. #rakhisawant

So how long will this engagement tamasha last? I give it 3 months max. Then we will have sawant crying horse how she was duped by channel.

But I guess requires talent no to make normal folks aka the boyz’s family to over act? #rakhisawant

Unwanted 72 should be titled No 1 ad on the Unwated Tele Ads List. Cheap shit. #fail

Manas dude’s mother had such expectations of her son. Out of work television actors to be present at her son’s wedding.#rakhisawant

For the winning groom – the future’s dark. The future’s black. The future’s Rakhi. #rakhisawant

Noticed all these guys who R wishing rakhi all da best & da garb-have a sly grin on their faces. Like participating in April Fool Joke.#rs

Guju wants to go to Disney 4 honeymoon. Perfect me thinks. Rakhi will feel right at home. With her like bros and sisters. Plastic rules.#rs

Rakhi Sawant’s show endorseing condoms. So apt no? Perfect placement. #rakhisawant

Perfect example of Sau rats khake cat chali haj ko. #rakhisawant

This is like beauty pageant contest. All are prepped up with award winning speaches. Jeegus ye kya ho raha hai?! #rakhisawant

Tick tok tick tok tick tok and the dead man is ….. #rakhisawant

Tonight all mothers will tell their marriageable sons – sau ja beta, rakhi ab kisi aur ke sapno ko haram karne chali. #rakhisawant

Saw how guju sister jump up. Like brother won Kaun Banega Corepati. Ya baby now see your bro go down the Rowpati lane.#rakhisawant

Ya guju father in law. You did welcome her into your household. And in matter of months only hole will be left. #rakhisawant

Thanks to fatafat overdose. Have to attend to enforced nature’s call. #rakhisawant

Must say the new Kangana Ranaut look in the forthcoming film Raaz – The Mystery Continues (aka. Raaz 2) is much welcomed. I mean I agree the previous (extreme) perm locks had some hatke factor attached to it. But then assaulting our fashion senses with it to the very maximum is also not right no?

As far as the film is considered, honestly speaking I am expecting nothing. And not because it’s produced by the Bhatt camp or directed by Mohit Suri or my opinion that Raaz 1 was a complete dud. I believe (and have ample backing on this) that Indian filmmakers simply stink when it comes to the Horror genre. Maybe one should sue Ramsay Brothers for setting a bad example in the 80s. Though I do admit if given a choice I would any day pick flicks like Purani Haveli, Virana over the likes of Raaz, 1920 & Bhool Bhulaiyaa.

From the looks of it Raaz 2 appears to be typical Bhatt experience – ghar ka launda uff Emraan Hashmi, off beat music compositions, unnecessary skin show & jaazy promo music videos.

Speaking of Mr. Hashmi, he too sports a new look though I am not too sure how well the ‘rock band member’ feel will be received by the audience. Then again looks don’t matter much, it’s the overall picture that makes all the difference.

And what would make all the difference for me is Raaz – The Mystery Continues turning out even 50% spine-chilling, stomach churning…scary shit…something on the lines of The Ring & Grudge.

Now in order to make you understand the gravity of the situation, I have to dig a little in my past. When I was a kid (okay…stop grinning right now), so yeah as I was saying…when I was kid I was hugely inspired by a tele-series on Doordarshan titled “Udaan”. For those sleeping during this phase – Udaan, was one of the most popular serials on DD in the 1990s. Written and directed by Kavita Choudhary, who also happened to play the lead role of ‘Kalyani Singh’. The story, a typical Bollywood pot-boiler, struggle of a young woman aspiring to be an IPS officer. After several setbacks, Kalyani not only joins the IPS but with her sheer determination and some really ass kicking fight scenes, is given the post of an ASP.

Though Udaan was based on real life account of Kanchan Choudhary (Kavita’s sibling), a couple of plots where lifted from Mrs. Bedi’s days in the IPS. So I was told. Can’t really pin-point as to what clicked in me; maybe it was the in-built feminist instinct, maybe it had to do with Bollywood and beating up the bad guys or maybe it was a mix of both. From there on all I wanted was to be an IPS officer too. And the fascination only grew with time.

Once mum and I were boarding a flight for New Delhi and by luck Mrs. Bedi happened to be on the same plane as us. My mum wasted no time in informing the idol about her tiny fan and her aspirations. Needless to say, I was embarrassed yet the feeling of meeting the Kiran Bedi, in person, lingered on for days.

In my 10^th year in school I won the senior student personality contest (where I was crowned by actress Kimi Katkar…so very amusing every time I have a flashback) all because of my “I want be Kiran Bedi” speech.

And then college happened. With college came in friends, parties, boys, love, more Bollywood and somewhere the dream was lost. However, the fascination and respect for the lady continued to grow.

That is up until now.

As part of its continued endeavor to offer differentiated, bold and innovative programming, STAR PLUS - India’s numero uno general entertainment channel, is proud to bring to its viewers a new real life show ‘Aap Ki Kachehri’, with an opportunity to watch Magsaysay Award winner, Kiran Bedi, deliver justice in a swift and decisive court of Alternate Dispute Redressal.

Aap Ki Kachehri is a medium of timely justice with Kiran Bedi as the arbitrator. It’s a reality show with real people, real cases and real situations with an aim to educate and entertain. Its objectives include getting the affected parties to discuss the issue, look at probable solutions to their problems outside of courts and also to educate others in similar situations. [Link]

In simple words – a rip off of American reality show Judge Judy.

Now why oh why would someone of Mrs. Bedi’s stature get involved in something as commercial and ludicrous as this – completely beats me.

• It’s a freaking reality show. And we all know how manipulative can get.
• Its Star Plus. The maai-baap of all things crappy with Indian Television.
• The concept is nothing but a mockery of those participating.

Maybe I should file at case in App Ki Kachehri against Mrs. Bedi and Star Plus for bloody hell running a childhood fantasy. Blah.

What an irony, of a Government which stepped in to ban cheerleaders from IPL matches, to them being entertained by Ukrainian belly dancers. If the belly dancers’ balle balle is not objectionable, then why would cheerleaders for a match be ? Or is there an ulterior motive to poach the cheerleaders for belly dance performances by the same netas ?

Following up on my previous post about politics being a game of contradictions, this is another blatant example of this. While dancing in pubs has been banned, and pubs ordered to close by 11:30 p.m. day events for public viewing of belly dancing seems to be fine. Or are the netas trying to justify calling belly dancing an art form like Bharatanatyam and Kuchipudi in India ?

With all due credit, and no offense intended, are the netas suggesting, that if the belly dancers, with the same costume did a Bharatanatyam number, they would appreciate it ? Won’t that be tantamount to over exposure like the IPL cheerleaders or will they still defend the act by saying it is indeed an art form ? In fact, come to think of it, maybe the world should declare cheerleaders’ dances as an art form. That would certainly open a new debate ! For now though, the netas might get away saying belly dancing is an art ! Well, it sure is, and there are workshops which specialise in giving classes for belly dancing !

Without trying to be too vulgar, weren’t the cheerleaders exposing their bellies, just like the belly dancers very much have to ? Is that lost in thought by the netas ? Or, as I previously hinted, spotting the belly and the talent that comes with it is for the netas to decide. For an argument sake, the belly has always been a major attention point for the majority of the Indian public for years and years. Is that why belly dancing seems to be fine while cheerleaders are not ? Maybe the cheerleaders should resort to belly dancing at IPL, which would be more appreciated.

The deal is, we seem to have a thing for bad movies… not really bad ones, like Fool and Final and that other horrendous Riteish Deshmukh one (Kya Kool Hain Hum was it?), but somehow, our spam filter seems to hit a blind spot when it comes to a bad ones. Let me explain. We’re at a stage in our viewing pattern where the bigger and more grandiose a movie seems, the more viewable we automatically think it is. That’s mostly why we loved ‘seeing’ Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. Forget the fact that it was a horrible movie as storyline and acting go. There was bling, and we were dazzled.

Bling’s latest sample is our tinsel town’s leading pair (I’m talking of gorgeous Katrina Kaif and even more gorgeous Akshay Kumar) latest – Singh is Kinng. A morality tale straight from the ‘60s, we have seeda-saada Akshay play a sardarji who must bring back Lakkan to sadda gaon, to mamma pappa who’re missing their don son who’s been cooling his heels Down Under for a while now. Surrounded by a faithful Khalsa army, don is most unwilling to return… till ‘Happy’ Akshay forces him into temporary retirement. During the time our don plays zombie butler on wheels (he can’t talk, he can’t walk, but he can think) Akshay wins over Katrina (who, interestingly is writing a book on criminals, but still believes in killing them all… was that a fantasy novel she was planing on writing?) and converts all criminals to human beings with love and understanding. (Tissues anyone??)

So, yeah. Utter crap.

But, high on the bling quotient. Akshay totally rocks in the title track, and Katrina looks lovely. When I went, the hall was full of Sardarji families, who clapped, cheered and whistled… and turned to someone in their group laughing whenever the names Puneet, Happy, and Lucky came up. Which, I must add, was pretty often.

Honourable mention: Kirron Kher, for being the delectable aunty with a gold of heart and a rose of luck; Javed Jaffrey for his hilarious accents; and Ranvir Shorey for playing the jealous boyfriend rather well.

Please tell us something about your creative background?

I always wanted to make films, the only thing I can remember wanting to do is make films. When I joined college I took up literature parallel with film studies. Literature I think is very closely related to films and in India you don’t start with film studies after school, you can only after graduation. And then I got my scholarship for Training in Film Making for which I went to Berlin.

And what brought you to Bollywood?

After I trained in Berlin I went back to Kolkata because that’s where I did my university and initial training in film studies. I worked there for a while, made some documentary films and all. But anyway my aim was “fiction” and I realized the environment of Kolkata is not where I wanted to work because I was very young and wanted to be respected for what I do. And I found people very patronizing at that point there and it didn’t suit me.

I came to Bombay as an editor actually…I started off as an editor. And it took me 10 years to make my first film. But for me it was very clear – I don’t come from a film family, I don’t come from a family where someone can say, here take 3 crores and make a film. I wanted to do it on my own, on my own terms and make the kind of films I wanted to make. Probably that’s one of the reasons why it took that long because I was definite about the kind of films I wanted to make. And for me everything that I was doing while trying to make a film was a step towards that. I mean I produced music, directed music videos, made documentary films and then scripting; basically a whole lot of things.

And all this helped me to be able produce and direct my film within a controlled budget, since I had worked in every possible department.

For your first film, what made you pick a dicey subject like alternate sexuality and HIV?

Actually it became my first film by accident. The first script I wrote was also a dicey subject but it never got made. Hopefully it will someday. It was basically a story of a gigolo and nobody had the guts to finance such a project. And then I wrote my second script but nothing happened and then I wrote my third script. At that time I had just finished editing a documentary script on Dominic D’Souza who was the first known case of HIV in India. And that story kind of stayed with me…you know his photograph haunted me. And at one point I was getting frustrated because every story that I was writing found no one to finance it.

That’s when I decided to do it myself. Sanjay Suri is a friend and has complete faith in me. I decided to go ahead with Dominic’s story and make it into a docu-fiction and release it on TV. It sounded good and so I started writing. It was something I wrote in 10 days as it had left a lasting impact on me. It just came…just came like that.

And then we started meeting actors and everyone we approached said “yes” so we thought that instead of making it a TV film let’s make a feature film.

Actually till I completed the film I never thought that this was a taboo. It was just that this story deeply moved me and the entire crew and cast were doing this for peanuts because they simply loved the story too. It was only after completing the film that I realized – Oh my God! In India, homosexuality is illegal what with Article 377 and there might be problems for release. So I was worried only when the censor time came, luckily that went through smoothly without any controversies.

It became my first film by accident, but all in all, the subjects I generally choose are slightly off the beaten track. Stories, which have already been told do not interest me; I need to tell stories wherein I too grow as a person and not just become a director, that’s not my aim.

‘Bas Ek Pal’ (2006) didn’t do well at the box office. According to the tabloids, it didn’t appeal to either the critics or the masses. Where do you think the problem lay?

Two things. After My Brother Nikhil I got slotted. People expected My Brother Nikhil Part 2. For me it was however very clear that I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to do something totally different which would help me grow as a director. In fact to me I have matured as a director only after Bas Ek Pal. In terms of reception it was a mix. Some critics really raved about the film whereas in print it didn’t receive a favourable response.

The first reaction is obviously you get very defensive about everything that you do. But later on I sat down and analysed the film all over again and realized that there were certain things that went against it. The distribution for instance: In Mumbai only 14 prints were released and only two night shows were available in the suburban side. Another thing I believe I messed up with was the execution of the film’s climax scene.

Otherwise I think it’s a complex, very mature film, which to me was the exciting bit. Unfortunately the current trend involves audience watching comedies and idiotic comedies. And it’s very worrying when rubbish films like Welcome, Partner become box-office success. Personally I have nothing against comedies but these are bad films, period. And good, deserving films like Johnny Gaddar and Manorama Six Feet Under are complete washouts.

Sometime in 2006 you were thinking of making an adaptation of Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ starring Hrithik Roshan. Is this project going to see the light of day?

Again, today no one wants to do a dark film. I am talking around, speaking to artists and film banners but everyone is looking for profit. For example Omkara was critically applauded but financially, it didn’t do well. Therefore actors are skeptical about taking up such offers. Actors, producers, basically everybody.  

You also acted in Schau mir in die Augen, Kleiner (2007) aka Here’s looking at You, Boy – The Coming out of Queer Cinema (International: English title). This is a documentary on the history of gay and lesbian film. How was it like acting in an international setting?

No I did not acted in the film. It was a documentary film which featured 14 directors from across the world on the subject of homosexuality. And I was selected as one of the directors and it was featured during the Berlin Film Festival. A fantastic experience overall.

What do you think about the censor board’s stand in today’s Bollywood?

Honestly speaking I have been very lucky. Like with My Brother Nikhil I thought there will be plenty of issues but it was cleared without any cuts.

But then it was backed by Yash Raj Films.

No. The censor dealing was done before Yash Raj’s takeover of the film for distribution. My team consisted of all first timers, including myself. I was literally shaking once the film was given for censorship approval. When I met them they said that we will give the film a ‘U’ certificate provided you give a statement at the beginning that it’s a fictitious film, which I was ready to comply with. And for me this was a huge thing, I mean we live in a country, which is still very outdated in terms of its views on sexuality, especially alternate sexuality.

Do you think there is a lack of good scripts in Bollywood? If so, why?

Yes it’s true. Because apart from actors we don’t want to pay anyone else. Actors believe they are the film themselves and therefore charge enormous amounts. Then there is no budget left for anything else. Also our copyright laws are weak that it’s an easy job to keep making remakes. Plus financiers prefer to stick with the ‘tried-and-tested’ formulae and our audience goes ahead and approves such re-creations. And at the end of the day everything boils down to the audience.

Which actor/actress you would like to work with in the near future?

Actually I never had this fascination or inclination towards working with any special set of actors. For me the script comes first and whoever suits it best and is within the budget is offered the role. So no wish list for me as of now.

Any recent movie you wish you were part of?

Johnny Gaddar. I thought it was a brilliant film. Sad it didn’t do well. Then there was Manorama Six Feet Under and I also liked Chuk De minus the beginning and the end.

Define ‘crossover cinema’?

Frankly I really don’t know; I mean crossing over to what? Films from India which are screened overseas are mostly big budget films. It has nothing to do with quality but everything to do with who’s backing the project (film).

People perceive that films like Page 3 and My Brother Nikhil are crossover films but unfortunately they don’t even get released overseas. Especially the US and UK market, the thing is NRI audiences are worse than the audience back home because they are so nostalgic about India that they prefer to watch its glossy image. And therefore you have big banners making films especially to please them by inserting glamorised costumes and bhangra songs.

Where do you see India cinema go over the next decade, given that in recent times we have seen a shift in the kind of movies being made and scripts being written, as well as the willingness of mainstream actors to try different genres other than commercial flicks?

I don’t know really. We keep talking about how big is Bollywood but frankly we are living in a make believe world. For example, if you look at the earnings of a biggest grosser of the past couple of years and compare it to a Korean film, which would be looked at as world cinema, ours would be barely 13% of that.

Our films are not world cinema. When we talk about overseas we simply mean NRI audiences. Our films have still not matured with respect to world cinema. The day we are able to get the local audience in cities like New York, London, Sydney maybe then we would qualify as global filmmakers. But then our population is so huge and spread out that we really don’t care much about the world market.

Hopefully 10 years from now we will have audiences which are open to all kinds of cinema.

What is your take on depiction of homosexuality in today’s Hindi films?

It sickens me honestly. I find it silly mostly the way it is depicted. I find it stupid how actors are insecure; if it’s not making fun they wouldn’t want to do the character. They are insecure about how they will be perceived but that’s really stupid because enacting a homosexual character doesn’t make one a homosexual. Even our double standards are put on display. Today one animal rights group will ask for help and the whole Jing-bang will be there to lend a helping hand but when you talk about human rights, basic human rights let alone homosexuality, no one will give you the time of the day.

Similarly our whole society including the film industry is so homophobic. So they’d rather make fun of it. And what is even more depressing is that some of them are closet homosexuals themselves. I mean they don’t have to talk about their sexuality but the least they could do is not make a mockery of others and their sexual preference.

I feel it should be dealt with with a certain responsibility; after all you are talking about someone else’s life. But I suppose Bollywood specializes in making mockery of those who are ‘different’.

Can you tell us something on your new and forthcoming films?

Well I am working on a film called Sorry Bhai. A romantic film with an interesting star cast. I have Shabana Azmi, Boman Irani, Sharman Joshi, Sanjay Suri and Chitrangada Singh is making a comeback with this film. I am looking forward to it because it’s a different genre for me, it’s a happy film but it also deals with complexities of adult relationships.

Your involvement with HIV/Aids awareness campaign.

After My Brother Nikhil I have been involved in all kinds of campaigns, seminars, conferences dealing with Human Rights. I am also trying to remove time for conducting workshops for Aids infected youth in Shillong, hopefully every year. See the thing is movies and all will keep happening but life also involves personal growth and being part of such activities helps me achieve that.

Straight speak and blunt – Onir was a refreshing change from the run of the mill Bollywood interviewees. Here’s looking at you Onir.. and wish you all the best for your future projects!

In a nutshell Splitsvilla consists of 20 women vying for attention of two young men. The folks behind this reality show would like us to believe that the concept of the show is the search for True Love (along with a fetching sum of Rs 5 lakh.) Each week one girl’s fate rests in the hands of the two men, who have the power to vote her out of the show.

Reality Shows today are the “in-thing” and like others, I too immensely enjoy(ed) watching many of them. However I fail to see the point behind a show such as this and that too being heavily promoted by a channel responsible in so many ways for shaping the minds of our youth.

The only possible explanation I can think of is that viewers of such kinds crave for two things – humiliation (of others) and skin show. And Splitsvilla happens to suffice both these urges. 20 something girls going all the way – from dressing low to flashing their bulbs assets, from back stabbing to in-front of the camera ridiculing one another, from belly dancing to bathroom tub caressing – they are letting nothing hold them back.

And what makes matters worse is the reason behind such crass behaviour – two men, worth nothing. And I mean nothing. Thin, squirmy, butt ugly, all backed by high headiness – that seems to be their only qualification. Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow it is revealed that the boys belonged to the sponsor’s clan or the production/channel’s household. So here we have two absolute losers tossing girls around as per their whims and fancy.

Which gets me to the most important point – while the channel, viewers and the boys are having a gala time at the expense of the participating girls – is 15 seconds of fame a good enough reason for these contestants to completely demean themselves?

Not looking at it from a feminist view point, as a life lesson I believe nothing is worth more than one’s own self-respect let alone mortifying yourself on national television not once but umpteen number of times. While MTV may call their creation as ‘testing of one’s character’, I simply see it as TRP game play, being done at all costs.

And to mark their entry into the competitive Indian television industry, COLORS has managed to just do that. Box-office action hero, Akshay Kumar is all set to make his small parda debut with reality show – Fear Factor Khatron Ke Khiladi. If I am not mistaken, this is basically a revival of desi-Fear Factor, which once upon a time was aired on AXN and hosted by what’shisface Mukul Dev.

Personally speaking I think roping in stuntman Akki baby was a smart move the by channel heads. However I would have preferred to watch regular junta as contestants rather than the chosen 13 wannabe bimbettes.  Seriously, one look at the names and you will get what I mean.

Yaana Gupta, Aditi Govtrikar, Pooja Bedi, Sonali Kulkarni, Anita Hasnandani, Meghna Naidu, Tapur & Tupur Chatterjee, Nethra Raghuraman, Anjana Sukhani, Dipannita Sharma, Vidya Malvade and Urvashi Sharma.

Clearly the folks at Endemol India (Production House) are being lead on by the Music Channel trend – greater skin show better TRPs. I mean other than this I really don’t see the reason why the above mentioned women were chosen for the launch series. So going by the usual reality show norms, one can expect – cribbing, shrieking, sympathy seeking and (hopefully a hell lot of) bitching.

However the action king remains the main USP of the reality show. And I for one will be glued to the idiot box to see whether King Kumar manages to tilt some of his box-office luck onto the small screen as well. Another interesting bit would be to watch what tactics are employed by rival channel Sony Max in order to remain ahead in the TRP department with their Salman Khan -hosted Dus Ka Dum.     

If one is to believe apna gossip columns, then the small screen is soon going to witness one heck of a battle, all thanks to the (highly publicized) Salman-Akshay rivalry. No guessing though whose side I am on.