Get Your Head in the Game

1. Be confident even if you don’t feel it.

Know exactly what you want and speak like you’re going to get it.   Your words have power.  They speak to your unconscious mind and create your thoughts.  And your thoughts create your reality.  Also, people want to be connected to confident people.

2. Let go of your fears and limitations.

Let go of your fear of failure.  Failure breeds success as long as you learn your lessons and keep moving forward.  Let go of limiting     beliefs.   Statements such as, “I don’t have enough money” or “I don’t have enough time or contacts”, just keep you stuck.   Other           people are doing it, why not you?  Find a way or make one.

3. Get Real.  Let go of frustration or embarrassment of downsizing or moving backwards.

Sometimes you need to go back to regroup.  What does an athlete do when they get into a Slump?  Back to basics.

Decide what you want.  Make a plan. Then go after it as if  your life depended on it.

Ideas to Make More Money

1. Freelancing

Take your skills and turn them into income.  It’s easy to  get started.  You can charge per hour, per project or a retainer.  Some examples include, marketing consultant, web designer,  freelance writer, editing, blogging.

2. Ask for a raise

This is obvious, but few people do it.   Be prepared with facts and numbers.  State your past achievements, goals and plans.             Remember to talk about the value that you add to the business.

3. Start a Part-time Business

Turn your hobby, skills or expertise into a part-time business.  Sites like bragadoo.com can help you do so by providing you with free tools to market your services and offer specialized skills to those looking for help.

4. Give your opinion — and get paid

Participate in Focus Groups. Contributing an hour of your time can earn you up to $100 or more. Online surveys,  phone surveys and product trials can also earn you anywhere from $5 to $150. Check our FindFocusGroups.com or FreePaidSurveys.net.   

*Entrepreneurs:

1.  Try something new. Tweak your business model.  Think outside the box.  What is your competition doing? Don’t invest a ton of  money at first, test, test, test.

2.  Increase the average transaction value. This lets you make more each time someone buys. You can do this by raising your prices. Or by creating higher priced bundles of products and/or services.  Or by up-selling or cross-selling other products                and/or services

3. Increase the number of transactions per customer. If every sale is a one shot deal you have  to constantly fill your funnel with new prospects in order to keep making sales.  Try offering ongoing services, something new regularly, programs or products that build upon each other or go together or a membership type  program.

4. Spend more time focused on revenue- generating activities

Keep track of your time for one week and see where you are wasting time.  Focus on where you make your money – Sales,             product development, marketing, taking care of clients, etc,  AND less on time-draining activities, by outsourcing to Virtual             Assistants.

*Networking  and Connecting

It’s all about WHO You know.  Whether you are changing jobs,  finding a job or growing your business, you need connections.  Get   out there, get to know people and get to talking.  Many of us are uncomfortable asking for help.   People have a natural desire to         help, so just ask and you shall receive.

with Carrie Charles

Tampa, Florida

January 19th,  6-9 pm,  $75 per person

*Create a Personal Plan for your New Year

* Get the Tools to make Your Plan a Reality

*Learn How to Turn Goals into Results – Fast

* 3 Keys to Change Anything About your Life and Make it Last

* Strategies that get you More of what you Want in Your Life

*LifePlanner Workbook Included

Call or Email to register.  Hurry, seating is limited.   813. 321. 7399 or  Carrie@designmylife.com

Make 2012 your best year ever.  See you there!

Carrie

Click above to watch an intro video from
Carrie Charles, founder of Design My Life

Free Coaching Session

Free 7 Step Program

For over 20 years, Carrie Charles has been helping people improve the quality of their lives. As a Certified Financial Planner and a Certified Coach, Carrie has worked with hundreds of people to increase their personal, business and financial effectiveness by reducing stress, increasing focus , creating balance and achieving personal fulfillment.

• Design Your Vision
• Define Your Goals
• Create an action plan
• Make that plan a reality

A strategic partnership of accountability and empowerment that produces lasting change.

Carrie asks the right questions to uncover your own answers. She uses strategies and techniques to help you shift your thinking. She offers you a new perspective so you can find solutions to your problems and get the results you desire. She helps you break through your limitations and be your authentic self. You will see immediate changes that will improve your life in all areas.

We invite you to take the first step now. Please click the orange tabs to get a free coaching session, weekly tips and a 7-step system to design your own future. All at no cost to you!

I was in a hurry to make an appointment during rush hour in the pouring rain then suddenly my car went dead at a busy intersection.  People were giving me dirty looks, gestures and beeping at me but I wasn’t stressed at all.  I was sitting in the middle of chaos and I felt perfectly calm.  Then I realized something.

Just before this happened, I got a call from my son’s oncologist.  He had cancer last year and we had some follow up tests to make sure he was free and clear.  The doctor said his tests had come back normal.  I was in such a state of gratitude.  I immediately started praying and giving thanks for his life.   The fact that my son was ok was much more important than anything else in the world.  The fact that I was sitting in the middle of an intersection with my daughter holding a sign out the window, “out of gas”, didn’t upset me or make me stressed – the sign was a little embarrassing but she had fun with it.

Why do we need an emergency or a tragedy to live in a state of gratitude?  We all have families, jobs, homes and so many blessings in our lives right now.  Why can’t we live in a place of gratitude 24 hours a day?

Robert Emmons, the author of thanks performed a study and found that people in the gratitude condition felt 25% happier than the people who focused on burdens.  The gratitude group thought about simple things like the sun shining through the clouds and being alive.

A psychology professor at the University of Michigan regularly gave his students an unusual homework assignment. He asked them to write a “gratitude letter,” a kind of belated thank-you note to someone in their lives. Studies show such letters provide long-lasting mood boosts to the writers.  Indeed, after the exercise, Peterson says his students feel happier “100 percent of the time.” (Psychology Today)

What if gratitude is the magic pill we have all been looking for to make us happy and less stressed?  What if being in a state of gratefulness could make a huge difference in our lives?

I challenge you to start your day with this simple exercise.  I call it your “gratefuls and thankfuls”.  Wake up a little early and write down 10 things you are grateful for in your life.  Then say a prayer and give thanks for each of these things.   You will be amazed with the results.  I have been doing this for years and it really works.   It creates a positive and peaceful space that stays with you all day.   If you have a really tough day, you may need to do it again…and again.  But the goal is to remind yourself to live in gratitude and stop grumbling.  Focus on what is right instead of what is wrong.  You will never be free of problems so you might as well be happy where you are with what you have.

Today, my gas tank was on empty but I was filled with happiness because of all the blessings in my life.  Simple blessings, like being alive.

The key to peak performance is energy.  Managing your energy is crucial to your success in life.  Whether it’s running a business or running your kids all over town, energy is required to make it happen and make it work.   Sleep has been proven to be the number one source of our energy and unfortunately, we don’t take it seriously.

• The Center for Disease Control says that insufficient sleep is a public epidemic.
• Some 70 million people in the US have a sleep problem (National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute)
• America’s adults average 6.9 hours of sleep each night, less than the seven to nine hours recommended by sleep experts (NSF 2005 Sleep in America poll)
• One quarter of America’s adults, 47 million people, don’t get the minimum amount of sleep they say they need to be alert each day.

None of this should come as a great surprise.   Many of us know that we are not getting enough sleep.  The key is what do we do about it.

• Awareness:  Don’t underestimate the cost of getting too little sleep.  Track your sleep, your productivity and mood for 14 days.  This will give you insights into how your sleep is affecting your life.

• Prioritize:  Make sleep a priority.  Stop working too late or too early.   Rearrange your day so that you can get the sleep you need.

• Routine:  Tony Schwartz, the author of Be Excellent at Anything”, says you should take notice of your activities before bed.  Set a regular bedtime.  Begin to wind down at least 30-60 minutes before you turn out the lights and choose activities that are relaxing rather than stimulating.  Put a pad and paper next to your bed.  Before you go to sleep, write down anything you are worried about.  If you wake up in the middle of the night, write more.  Tony calls it “parking your anxieties” and it is a good way to calm your mind.

We are capable of so much more than we realize.  Renewal of our bodies and minds will allow us to function at a high level and be productive.   If someone told you that there is a magic plant that will allow you to reach your full potential, feel energized every day and be happy, you would probably fly to the ends of the earth and pay any price to get it.  Well, sleep is your magic plant.  The best part is that it’s easy to access and it’s free.   Make a plan, make it a priority and then get the sleep you need.  Your life depends on it.

That little girl is me.   The answer is a secret I haven’t told many people. I know this must sound crazy but I heard something that day.   I don’t remember if I heard it in my head or out loud, but the fact is that have remembered those words for 35 years now.   What I heard was,  “You’re dog isn’t coming back.  You will have many bad things happen to you.  Don’t be discouraged.   Your job in this life is to learn from these experiences and help people.  And remember…. I will always be with you.”    At 8 years old, I knew there would be a purpose to my pain.   I knew that I would be able to make it through anything and create the life of my dreams.  And that is what I did.

We are all born with the power to create anything we want.  We have a purpose that reveals itself in dreams and fantasies.  We have a passion.  Yet, somewhere along the way , we change.  We listen to  people, media and our ourselves tell us what we can and can’t do.  We get conditioned by society to live a certain way.   We make sacrifices.  We set aside our dreams and become a part of someone else’s.  We make decisions not based on our own desires but on what other people think.  We create our own little world that we call, “the way it is”,  full of limitations and ideas that we made up.  Then one day,  we wake up and ask, “ is this it?   Then we move into a place called “fine” and  “happy”.  But somehow, we still feel a tug in our hearts when we see other people living their dreams, doing what we long to do.

The problem is that we have been living a life of someone else’s design.  And now here we are,  unfulfilled,  wanting more.  We have forgotten what we really want because it doesn’t feel possible anymore.  We have convinced ourselves that this is as good as it gets and we have loads of proof to back it up.  We go to sleep at night and dream of extraordinary things but wake up saying,  “it was just another dream”.  We tell ourselves how happy we are and settle for “good enough”.   To put it simply, we didn’t create our life, it created us.

So, how do we change it? How do we take a life filled with responsibility and create something new?  How do we go from happy to extraordinary?

My name is Carrie Charles.  I am the creator of Design My Life, an online life coaching company dedicated to helping people live exceptional lives.   I have spent over 25 years studying life…. self growth,  psychology,  philosophy,  religion, financial planning, fitness and all sorts of self-improvement disciplines.  In my early teens, when other kids were reading Nancy Drew, I was studying psychology books at the local library.  I am a Life Coach, Certified Financial Planner and single mother of 2 amazing children.  But really, I am just an ordinary person who has had extraordinary experiences, some tragic and some miraculous, that have given me insights on how to live a great life.

Here is the short version of my story….

After my dog ran away,  more bad things did happen.  My parents divorced – for the 2nd time.  We had to move from our nice house in our nice neighborhood to a trailer park.  My dad moved to another state,  yet he came to see me often; probably because he had a “special” relationship with me.  I was being abused by him.  When my mom found out, she forbid him from seeing me ever again.  I was confused and hurt.  I didn’t see him again until the week before he died.   My mom dated a lot and remarried when I was 12 .   I hated my new stepdad.  He was violent and abusive to my mother.  He threatened to kill her if she left him.   When I was 13, I watched him drag her down the stairs by her hair.   The next month, she tried to kill herself.  I saved her life when I found her suicide note.  At school I was popular, at home I was terrified.  I was a rebellious, wild teenager.  My mom and stepdad moved out when I was 15 because she couldn’t take the fighting anymore.  I lived on my own all through high school; not a good thing for a teenager.

Then one day, I got a call saying my father had a stroke.  He had no brain activity.  Since I was his only living blood relative, I had to make a choice to terminate his life support.  He died my first week of college.   I was so depressed that I dropped out of school before the year was over.  I felt so lost.   Then one day, on a dare, I chopped off my hair and joined the Marine Corps.  It was a drastic step,  but it saved my life.  I graduated boot camp first in my class, which was not an easy task seeing that USMC boot camp is the closest thing to being in hell.   I was sent to Japan, where I met my first husband.  We moved to California and he immediately became abusive and violent. Funny how we repeat patterns.  I got out of the military and became completely dependent on him – no car,  no job and 2000 miles away from home.  That didn’t stop me though.  I found a job and walked to work every day until I could afford a car.  I saved up money to get an apartment, packed my bags and never looked back.

Over the next few years,  it seemed that all the people I loved died.  My mom,  both my sisters, my stepfather and all my grandparents.   It was crazy.  It was like a constant knife in my heart.   But then in my mid-twenties,  my whole world changed—– I met an amazing man, got married and  had 2 beautiful children.   Life was incredible.  I loved being a mom more than anything.  It felt like a fairy tale.  But  that fairy tale ended when we divorced after 12 years.  I was broken into pieces.  There were so many times when I felt like I couldn’t keep going.   I would just fall to my knees and cry…. not knowing what to do next.  However,  I picked myself up and was determined to move on.  I was  just rebuilding my life when my  11 year old son was diagnosed with cancer in 2010.  It was the most horrific pain I have ever felt.  Standing over his hospital bed before his surgery,  I remembered what I heard when I was 8 years old.  Faith and strength filled my soul and I was ready to fight for his life.   God gave me a miracle that day.  I still have my son.

Through all these experiences,  I have created what I call an extraordinary life.  I have incredible relationships with my children,  an amazing man in my life and great friendships.    I have successful businesses,  a seven figure net worth and everything I could ever want.  I feel balanced,  fulfilled and at peace.  I am far from perfect, however.  I go through the challenges of everyday life such as  balancing work and family,  maintaining successful relationships,  being a good mom,  paying bills,  taking care of everybody,  staying fit and making a difference.  I have issues, challenges, big mountains to climb and huge boulders in my path.   I mess up all the time,  start over and learn countless lessons.  I am constantly working to find peace amidst the chaos.  But I have a gift in my heart and I want to share it with you.

In my blogs, I want to talk to you as a friend.  I want to tell you about resources, tools, techniques that I have used to help hundreds of people have exceptional lives.  Some tools I have created myself and others I have borrowed.  I love doing research to find the latest and greatest ideas .  I will tell you how I made it through tragedy,  crisis, loss and absolute craziness.   You will get a peek at my current breakdowns and breakthroughs.  Then you can tell me about yours.  I will show you how I fall down, get up and create the life of my dreams every day.   And you can do the same.

You may hear something that causes you to see things in a different way.   You may learn something that will make you more successful, productive or effective.   Or there could be that moment, the one you can’t explain, that changes you forever.  My intention is to touch you and to give you something each day that will make your life better.

Please tell me your thoughts, challenges and what you would like to hear about.  Please give me your feedback… I love it!   This blog,  like my life purpose, is about YOU having a great life.

I heard a story once about a little boy who was leading his sister up a steep mountain path.  She was behind him grumbling and griping.  Finally, she said to him, “This isn’t a path.  This is nothing but rocks and bumps.”  And that’s when he turned to her and said, “If you want to reach the top, bumps are what you climb on.”

Life is a series of rough rocks and uneven terrain, with many bumps.   It’s the bumpy reality of life that causes some to quit, and others to climb.  Be a climber in your life.  You may find that the top of the mountain wasn’t as far as you thought.

A vision board is simply a collage of pictures glued to a poster board. Do not use words because images are more powerful and more likely to drive you to action. This is a real, tangible, positive and easy way to realize your full potential. The first step is to think about what you truly desire for yourself and search for images, photos, or magazines pictures that appeal to these desires. Do not over think your selections; rather choose images that speak to you and make you feel positive, happy and complete.  Do not evaluate the pictures or start pasting them onto your board. Just stack them into a pile. These images that you chose are what you truly desire and this will lead you to your bliss. Take time to gather the images that represent your perfect situation and your ideal life. It will not work if you pick random images that just look good or do not evoke any positive feelings in you. When in doubt, pick images that give you a sense of passion and enjoyment. This creates the flow of energy and emotion. The mere sight of your vision board should make you happy and smile and fuel your passion to achieve it every time you look at it.

Another important aspect when assembling this collage is how you group or assemble the images on the poster board. Pin or glue the images on the board in groupings or in whatever order feels right to you. You should allow your subconscious mind to take over and design your future reality. It is important to have a clear idea of your goals and ambitions but do not over think it either. The key here is to tap into your emotions. It is the emotional intensity that will elevate your mood and make you feel good and create the confidence and resolve to make these dreams come true!!

The key to making your vision board work for you is to keep it in a place that you will see it on a daily basis. You must be exact and authentic when you chose these images because you are creating the path to your future life – the representation of all your hopes, dreams and aspirations. When you see this collage of images it will serve as a daily inspiration to stay positive, focused, and energized on this new path towards fulfilling your dreams. You will start to make healthy and life changing decisions because these images stay in your mind and your conscious mind will start to implement the desires of your subconscious mind.

Some important things to keep in mind are to stay positive and maintain the attitude that everything you so richly deserve is coming to you. The board represents your future life and new reality. Live each day with total belief and trust that you are on the right path to your perfect life. Be sure to take positive action when you feel your inner voice speaking to you. This little nudge has been created by the positive energy surrounding your vision board. You must take consistent action to realize these dreams because just gazing at your board and hoping and dreaming will not attract those things you want in your life (good health, love, wealth, inner peace, luxury vacations, or a new job). The concept is that the right thoughts and positive emotions lead to the right actions to make it happen!!!

As you continue to go about your life, appreciate all the great things you already have and all the great, new things happening to you. Show gratitude and appreciation for every new success and fulfillment. This is the start of the chain reaction. When you take consistent action and believe something good can happen, it will happen. Promise!! Happy Visioning…

We enter into a relationship excited about the future.  Knowing full well the things that bother us but we don’t listen and secretly hope the other person will change.  We choose to deal with it later, ignoring the fact that it will eventually explode.

When we hope another person will change, we are not truly happy with them the way they are.  We are settling in the present and waiting for something to happen in the future that will make us happy.   The problem is that the person just may be happy just the way they are and may never change.  So what do you do?

It’s simple. Accept the person for who they are AND who they aren’t or leave the relationship.  When you want your partner to be different, it destroys their self-esteem and leaves them feeling as if they are not enough.  It is true that you can support your partner to be the best they can be and reach personal goals but those must be their goals and their desires, not yours.  A person can change only when they truly want to change.  If they change only for you, their true nature will reveal itself at some point in the future and take you back to square one.

How do you accept someone?  You do not need to condone their behavior or agree with it, however, you must stop nagging, complaining and fighting about it.  If you choose to be with them,  you choose them exactly the way they are with all their faults and habits.  They are aware of your dislikes, however, you give them the space to make their own choices.  You may be surprised; they could decide to change after all!  Sometimes, another person’s acceptance and unconditional love can serve as a mirror for the things we don’t like about ourselves.   If you don’t like it, there is a chance that they don’t like it either.

The other option is to leave the relationship.  This also has consequences.  But you may be happier out of the situation or with another person who is more aligned with your values and beliefs.

Shakespeare said it best, “The course of true love never did run smooth”.  All relationships take work.  It takes compromise and give and take.  If both people are committed to the same goal the sky is the limit.  Transformation is possible!

“The trip was great!”, the son answered. “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four.  We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have a creek that has no end.  We have imported lamps in the garden, they have the stars.  Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have the whole horizon.  Thanks, Dad for showing me how poor we really are.” 

Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”

Nothing in the world has any inherent meaning.  We add the meaning ourselves.  We go on a date and then they don’t call us the next day.  We make it mean something.  We go to work and our boss walks by without saying hello.  We make it mean something. Something happened to us when we were children.  We made it mean something and then carried that meaning with us throughout our lives.

How we feel about something is based upon our perception.  There are many ways to interpret the experiences we have.  Our particular frame of reference will determine not only our feelings but also our actions.  If we change our frame of reference by looking at the same situation from a different point of view, then we can change our reactions, feelings and ultimately, our life.  The process is called “reframing”.

Most of life is “reframed” for us.  Consider advertising.  We are told to see things in a certain way so we will take a particular action.  Companies make their products seem sexy, smart and fun to get us hooked.  And it works.

How do you put on the rose colored glasses and see things in a different way?

*Become an expert at talking to yourself

You are persuasive with family, co-workers and friends, now learn how to be persuasive with yourself!  When you have an experience that upsets you, ask yourself,  “How many ways can I see this? How will these views help me to feel or act differently?” Pick the view that most inspires you and then back it up with evidence.  Sell yourself.

*Change the meaning

If nothing in the world has an inherent meaning, then why not create a meaning that empowers you?  If you lose your job, view it as a new beginning.  If you make a mistake, see it as a learning experience.  If you get into an argument with your partner,  step into their shoes and see it from their point of view.  There is no right or wrong meaning. It is all perception.

Reframing works in every area of your life.  Almost any negative experience can be reframed into a positive.  You may feel you are too depressed or upset to reframe.  That’s like being too sick to go to the doctor.  Just remember, the sooner you change your perception, the sooner you will feel better.  Grab some paper and journal about the experience to vent and release the anger and frustration.  Learn from it. Then look for the silver lining.

You can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose how to perceive and react to it.  So choose powerfully and be the author of your own life.

Imagine for a moment if Gandhi, Martin Luther King or Mother Theresa listened to other people and gave up on their dreams.  Your ideas live and die in your thoughts.  If you believe you can, you will.  If you believe it is impossible, it will be.  If you listen to naysayers and negativity, it will cause you to second guess yourself and most likely find something easier to do.  You will always wonder what you could have been.  You will live your life with regrets.

When people are speaking negatively to you, they are projecting their fears and insecurities onto you.  Many times this “sky is falling” mentality comes from people who are closest to you – family, friends and co-workers.   Because of your relationship, you trust their opinion and you listen to them instead of yourself.  You can still love and respect them without following their advice.

How to TUNE OUT Negative Conversations

* Write positive statements about your goal.  Say them in your head or out loud when you hear a negative comment.

*Create a vision statement for your goal.  Use it to remind yourself why you have the goal in the first place

*When someone is “warning” you about possible pitfalls and risks associated with your goal, they may genuinely be trying to help you.  But remember, they are projecting their fears and insecurities on you.   They do not see your vision like you do.  Thank them for sharing and get back to work.

*MOST IMORTANT:  Have a plan for your dream.  A solid, strategic plan that covers all the bases.  It also needs to include strategies for breakdowns and challenges.  When you have a well-thought-out plan, you will be unshakable and be able to stay focused on the prize.

*If you get information that is valuable and needs to be considered in your plan, handle it strategically.  Review your plan with the new information in mind.  Do additional research before making a decision.  Look for solutions before exit strategies.

The truth is that your dream was put inside you for a reason.  If you are passionate about something that you cannot go a day without thinking about….DO IT.  Do it regardless of what anyone says.

Next time someone tells you to live in reality, just tell them…..“My dreams are my reality!”