The sentence, “Stories we tell ourselves” kept rolling in my thought-space for the past few days. As I contemplated on this, I realized the stories we tell ourselves, and others, to justify the status quo, to justify our behavior, to justify why we are resisting change, why we want to give up on something that we are doing, or to never start something that we always wanted to do. Stories, stories, stories, …, stories of inadequacy, scarcity, laziness, inertia; of being a victim, of inferiority, of superiority, of being a savior, or of believing in a savior, that we keep telling ourselves and others. We keep telling stories as to why we did not progress in a field of our endeavor, how we are not college material, how we are not marriage material, or how we can never find a perfect mate or teacher. We tell stories of how we don’t have enough time, money, health, beauty or any of the infinite other things. Though we want to be writers, painters, singers or some type of artist, we give excuses telling stories of how we don’t have talent, how somebody in our life did not encourage us, how this is not the right time or place to start it or that may be we will start it when we are free of all our responsibilities. We repeat stories of our perfectionism, which in itself is a big blocking factor that would not let us even start things we really want to do. We tell stories like, “I have to have soft music playing for me to be creative” or “I need this perfect pen and paper to write well.” We tell ourselves that we are blocked creatively and that we are just waiting for our muse to whack us behind our head.

All of these are just stories. There is no reality to them—none whatsoever. For example, I kept telling myself that I cannot visualize colors or lights and that visualization is something that I cannot do. What a cock and bull story I concocted for myself! I remember being able to visualize and daydream clearly when I was a kid. I don’t know when I lost it, or to be more precise, I don’t know when I created the story, “I cannot visualize.” I limited myself completely with this story and blocked myself from every opportunity of growth that visualization exercises could bring. Sometimes, without our knowledge, we create such stories because they bring us attention (in modern society even negative attention is not considered bad), or the person we are telling to will agree with us that they are also in the same boat which reinforces our belief in our story. It is a vicious cycle. When we believe in these stories strongly, every cell in our being believes them manifesting that into our reality which becomes our truth. It is all in the belief.

As you can see, we all have created such limiting stories in our lives. If we could create a limiting story and believe in it so strongly as to block ourselves completely, can we create more expansive story to unblock us and benefit us in our lives? Yes, we can!

We should always keep in our minds to never judge our stories as good or bad. It is quite probable that these stories we are calling bad now, actually helped us in our past to overcome a difficult situation or otherwise protected us. But, that same story may now be blocking or limiting us from progress. If you judge them as bad that may lead to guilt in you. So, we should only judge them as being useful or not useful now; alternatively, expansive or limiting at this point in our lives.

Stories can take many forms. We use these stores to give us a sense of identity and ego satisfaction. Some examples are (there infinite varieties of these stories as there are infinite varieties of minds),

• Religious — I am Christian, I am Hindu, I am a Muslim, I am an Atheist, I am an Agnostic, etc.
  
• Spiritual — I am a Yogi, I am a Gnostic, I am not religious but spiritual, etc.
  
• Physical — I am Fat, I am Thin, I am Healthy, I am Sick, I am a Cancer Survivor, etc.
  
• Social — I am Single, I am Married, I am Divorced, I am a Single Parent, I am responsible for my kids and spouse, etc.
  
• Career — I am a Manager, I am a Scientist, I am very important at my work without me the work stalls, etc.
  
• Victim, Savior — How could he/she do this to me? If you don’t believe and follow what I say you are doomed, etc.
  

As I said in the previous paragraphs, there are no good or bad stories, only those that aid our evolution and expansion as human beings and those that don’t. The trick is to not get attached to our stories, but be fluid and be willing to change or discard the stories that are not serving us well at this moment. We are responsible for our stories and nobody else. We believed in them by our own choice whether we knew it or not at the time we made that choice, and nobody else really made us believe in anything. It is about being truly open and create our stories for the moment—a momentary truth—and discard it the next moment that it becomes useless. Keep flowing with life without holding on to the useless stories, creating new expansive stories on your way.

The last sentences in the above paragraph may make it sound like you should be an “opportunist” when we say things like, “useful story for the moment.” Note that alternative terms are expansive and limiting. So, your stories have to be evaluated based on their expansive and limiting qualities and not in an opportunistic sense to gain an advantage over something or somebody. If a story creates a conflict within yourself and in your environment, and constricts you, then it is a limiting story. If it creates harmony and peace within and without, then it is an expansive or useful story.

Examine your stories now. Throw away those that are not true for you any longer. That will immediately free you from the burden of your past related to those stories. This requires tremendous courage, because from the time you created that story, you have been using it and it worked as an anchor in your life. The moment you realize that it is not useful any longer and decide to throw it away, you enter a state of void or nothingness until you replace it with the present-moment-truth. That void is a scary place. However, as we become experts at being fluid and start living in the moment and surrender to the movement of life, it becomes easier to change stories or identities moment to moment.

This is my story, and I am using it for the moment.

This is a bit of off-topic for this blog. But, I think it is very important to let you know what has happened recently to my blog in the way of attack and spamming.

If you were using Firefox 3.0 or equivalent, you would have noticed, in the last week or so, that whenever you accessed anything on this site you would get a warning that this site might contain malware. Earlier versions of these browsers won’t see it. That really shocked me because I don’t sell any product (except for links to Amazon and ads from Google). When I logged into my account on Google, and ran webmaster tools, I got less than helpful information. And, they asked me to submit my website for review again, when I was sure that I removed the offending code.

I was not even sure where to start looking. After calming down, contemplating and retracing my memories through time, I remembered that my website was attacked and broken into in May 2008 and the index page was replaced with a cartoon that said, “Hey! Your site has been attacked!” I thought that it was probably a teenage prank, since I saw nothing else amiss after I restored the start page of my blog. I know, “How naive!” I just believed in the inherent goodness of people (and some of the younger people are just curious and naughty ).

Through the past year, I was wondering why my PageRank and the visitor count was not going up that much. One of the reasons could be my infrequent posting of articles. But, other reason could be that whoever hacked in was hijacking my PageRank through hidden code in the pages. This hidden code is not visible to the naked eye, but search engine robots can see it. These people have most probably affected many other sites as well in a similar manner. I never knew people could resort to even sabotaging others’s websites, in order to get traffic and PageRank to their sites.

Anyway, after a search through the Internet, I found this page: Wordpress exploit: we been hit by hidden spam link injection. Following the steps there, I was able to successfully clean up the problems. The problematic filenames found were not exactly the same as described on that page, but it pointed me in the right direction as to what to look for. I am very grateful to the author of this page for distributing such a valuable information.

Now, I am happy to say that Google has given a clean bill of health for my site and removed the warning message.

Steps you should take

Here is what I learned from this experience as a reader and author of this blog.

• If you are a Reader of blogs, do the following on a regular basis
• Delete all the cookies on your computer.
• Run an anti-spyware/anti-spam software.
• Run an antivirus software.
• Update your browsers to the latest version that provide more security and useful warning messages. I prefer Firefox 3.x, but whatever browser you use keep it up to date.
• Keep your computer Operating System and all security software up to date. I run Kubuntu on my laptop, since I am a UNIX guy who loves the control that command line offers.
• If you are a Blogger, in addition to the above (I am sure you read other blogs), do,
• Go through the page: Wordpress exploit: we been hit by hidden spam link injection which guides you through detecting surreptitious attacks of this type before Google informs you. I learned from this experience that it is a good idea to keep checking on a regular basis to make sure that such attacks are detected early.
• Make sure that the password to your FTP server account is long, strong and includes numbers and special characters.
• Make sure that the directory and file permissions on your blog directories are correct.
• Keep your CMS that hosts your blog up to date. I will upgrade my WordPress to the latest version sooner than later.
• Make sure that the plugins you are using on your blog are secure.
• Install Anti-Spam plugins on your blogs that protect you from comment spam.
• Make sure that the theme(s) you are using on your blog do not contain security holes.

I am very sorry, if the problems with my blog caused you any inconvenience.

Please use the comment form below, if you have any security advice to share, that is not listed above.

Dear Friends,

As you may have noticed, lately, the frequency of my postings has reduced. Owing to the inner direction I received recently, I have decided to take a short break from blogging to work on myself more deeply. I hope that you understand and stay tuned.

Thanks,
Desika

I have been contemplating about the concept of free will for a while. I looked back into my life, into all that happened and all that I accomplished. When I contemplated on things that just happened it felt like I had no control over them. However, when I looked at things that I felt I accomplished—at least felt that way at the time of their accomplishment—initially, I felt I had done them out of my own will—free will. But, when I contemplated deeper, I realized that they also just happened like anything else. I wrongly attributed them to be my accomplishment, because I paid a lot of attention to the “doing” when they happened. It was like, I was compelled to do them, by some force. That is all. This compulsion had been nicely described by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj in the book, I Am That: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj. (This is one of the best books, I am now reading).

Instead of paraphrasing, I will directly quote him here. The quote is from pages 355-356 of Chapter 72 of the book. You can contemplate and arrive at your own conclusions. Below Q stands for questioner and M stands for Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.

Q: Surely, I am not the master of what happens. Its slave rather.
M: Be neither master, nor slave. Stand aloof.
Q: Does it imply avoidance of action?
M: You cannot avoid action. It happens, like everything else.
Q: My actions, surely, I can control.
M: Try. You will soon see that you do what you must.
Q: I can act according to my will.
M: You know your will only after you have acted.
Q: I remember my desires, the choices made, the decisions taken and act accordingly.
M: Then your memory decides, not you.
Q: Where do I come in?
M: You make it possible by giving it attention.
Q: Is there no such thing as free will? Am I not free to desire?
M: Oh no. You are compelled to desire. In Hinduism the very idea of free will is non-existent, so there is no word for it. Will is commitment, fixation, bondage.
Q: I am free to choose my limitations.
M: You must be free first. To be free in the world you must be free of the world. Otherwise your past decides for you and your future. Between what had happened and what must happen you are caught. Call it destiny or karma, but never—freedom. First return to your true being and then act from the heart of love.
Q: Within the manifested what is the stamp of the unmanifested?
M: There is none. The moment you begin to look for the stamp of the unmanifested, the manifested dissolves. If you try to understand the unmanifested wtih the mind, you at once go beyond the mind, like when you stir the fire with a wooden stick, you burn the stick. Use the mind to investigate the manifested. Be like the chick that pecks at the shell. Speculating about life outside the shell would have been of little use to it, but pecking at the shell breaks the shell from within and liberates the chick. Similarly, break the mind from within by investigation and exposure of its contradictions and absurdities.
Q: The longing to break the shell, where does it come from?
M: From the unmanifested.

Link Love

I would like to extend some link love to the following blogs:

• Nicholas Powiull’s Conscious Flex, where you can read inspiring articles on personal development, for example, his fearless experiements with sleep in articles like, What is Powiull’s Sleep. This is one of the fast growing personal development sites on the blogosphere.
• Tait Hunter’s One World Enlightenment is very contemplative and you can find articles like, healing body through internal attention.
• Buddha of Hollywood’s Zen and the Art of Mind Blogging is another contemplative blog on philosophical and spiritual matters, where you can read articles like, Enlightenment 106

We end up living a life that we constantly think of and dream of. We will realize this fact, if we take a few moments from our busy lives to look back and contemplate on what happened so far and what was our mental state during those times. Though this may come as a shock or make us feel uncomfortable, once we realize that so far we have been limited by our own thoughts and imaginings, we can make a decision to move into a higher vibratory realm of realizing our limitless potential.

Limiting Thoughts and Beliefs

The more limiting thoughts we have, the more limited we become. That is, we become what we constantly think of and attract only that which resonates with our limited thinking and limiting beliefs. What are these limiting thoughts? Any thought that induces fear and self-doubt in us, and makes us feel constricted, heavy and uneasy is a limiting thought. These limiting thoughts come from our limited ego-self which is full of fear and self-doubt whereas our limitless potential is realized through our Higher or Divine Self.

Examples of limiting thoughts, that ego keeps telling us, are:

• I am not worthy of having a great life
• I am not worthy of being a musician
• I don’t deserve this or that praise
• I don’t have this or that ability
• I am not worthy of being rich
• If only I had a job, then I will get a good spouse
• If only I had more money, I could be happy
• If only I had this, then my life will be this or that great
• If only this, then I will have that…
• If only…

These type of limiting thoughts are put into our heads by ourselves or by others as a conditioning. For example, if you are not yet married or even dating, but want to, you may be telling yourself or someone else may be telling you, “If you only had a good job or wear such and such clothes or be rich, …, you would be dating/married to a good person by now.” That is a limiting thought, which puts more importance on this other person than your-Self. It is, essentially, saying, “You are not good enough as you are now, but somehow a job or accomplishing something is going to make you better and attractive.” The importance or emphasis should be on you and not on some other person. By recognizing that whoever is telling you this—either you or someone else—is coming from “limiting” thinking and belief systems, you can move on to a more expansive thinking using the help from your Higher Self. Of course, if you want a good job, or want to be rich, not because someone is telling you to do, but because it makes you content and that is the experience you want, then it is okay.

If you recognize now that you are limited by your current belief systems and decide that you want to become more expansive, then it is time for you to put the past experiences behind and move forward with the wisdom and insight you gained from them.

You should never do anything that does not give you joy and move you forward towards divine love and light. Don’t do anything because it makes someone else happy, even though it makes you miserable. You should do anything, only because it gives you joy. If you are joyful, then you radiate that joy to your environment, and that will make everybody around you to automatically share that joy and themselves become joyful. If you are living with limiting thoughts, then it is time for you to move forward into joy and light, rather than remain stuck in the darkness of the emotional dramas being played out in your life now. The decision is yours to make.

Lord Sri Krishna said in Bhagavad Gita, that svadharma is more important than paradharma and following paradharma is detrimental to your Self-progress and cause for immense fear and conflict. The word sva means Self, para means other’s or outside of one’s own Self, and dharma means innate nature. So, following guidance from and the nature of one’s own Higher/inner Self is better than following other’s (outside of your own inner Self) path. The latter is cause for fear because it may not match the path shown by your inner Self.

Tools for Identifying Your Current State of Being

• Questioning—What am I feeling right now? Am I doing this because it gives me joy or is it to fulfill someone else’s expectations?
• Contemplation—Take a few minutes daily to watch your thoughts without getting involved, making story out of them or judging them as good or bad thoughts. Only criterion is, “Is this thought limiting me or making me feel expansive and joyful?”
• Stream of Consciousness Writing—Take a sheet of paper or your notebook/journal and just write whatever comes to your mind without censorship of any kind. Again, you should not judge it in any way. No editing, no looking back, no correcting, no worries about grammar, punctuation or spelling. This is not your high school English class. It is meant for inner exploration. Write anything and everything that comes to your mind—a mind-dump, if you will.
• Journaling—This could be topical. Take money, for example. You can find out what your limiting beliefs are about money. You can write on top of the page, “What are my limiting beliefs about money?” Then, focus/meditate on that question for a few minutes and just start writing in a stream of consciousness way as discussed above.

Implanting Limitless Thoughts through Positive Affirmations

Now, how do you move beyond the limiting thought patterns? By, implanting limitless thoughts through affirmations into your subconscious. Why do you want to do this? Why does it work? It is because limitless thoughts are the realm of the Higher Self.

What are limitless thoughts? Any thought that induces joy and bliss in you, awakens and makes you feel light and love your life, is a limitless thought.

Living a limitless life is in tune with the top-down approach to life discussed here.

Note that, eventually we have to transcend even this so called positive polarity, but positive affirmations are a first step in the right direction. It is like this: If you are underground, you need to first come to the surface, before you can fly to the skies.

“I Am” statement/affirmation that describes who you want to be and who you are at a deeper level, is a very powerful form of positive affirmation that you can use. Here is my “I Am” statement. Whatever I do, I try for it to be in line with this statement. This “I Am” statement describes my limitlessness. As the time goes by, this statement may change a little, but not by much, and it captures the essence of who I am.

You can start of with simple affirmations given below, based on what you want at this moment in your life. You can also come up with your own limitless thought affirmations using these as a template. Of course, your affirmations may change and evolve with time to be much deeper and a lot more expansive. The more you do your affirmations the more you connect with, and bring your Higher Self into your daily life.

• I Am the Greatest Celestial Musician (If you want to be a musician)
• I Am the Greatest Celestial Dancer (If you want to be a dancer)
• I Am a Divinely Inspired Writer/Artist/… (If you want to be a writer/artist/…)
• I Am the Creator (This encompasses the above and also tells your subconscious that you are the creator of your destiny and the creator who manifests everything you desire)
• I Am the Supreme Love and Light (It is the eternal essence of who you are)
• I Am ________________________________________.

Notice that the above affirmations are limitless thoughts, because they are expansive, and when you think of them they excite you and give you joy. As mentioned above, “being limitless” is in the realm of the Higher Self. Remember these constantly as a mantra. If I grossly simplify the purpose and power of a mantra, “It is an affirmation with enormous power to change your subconscious programming.”

Practice

You can use one or more of the following meditation techniques to practice your affirmations:

• Repeat your affirmations silently in a quiet place, for at least 15 mins., twice a day as a meditation. Focus on each word of the affirmation and feel them resonating in your being as you repeat.
• While doing these “I Am” affirmations, you can use your favorite colored light—gold, blue, purple, green, or whatever color (of course, black won’t work since it is not light)—and fill your body with that light. Visualize all impurities in the color of black or gray, melting away and the your favorite colored light filling your entire body and expanding further into the environment.
• You can use the yOga nidra or yOgic rest technique(s) to implant your affirmations in your subconscious.
• You can do these meditations in your bed and doze off to sleep while doing the affirmations, so that they continue in your sleep.
• Do the affirmations as soon as you wake up, but when you are still in that half-awake/half-asleep state in bed.
• Also, you can repeat these affirmations wherever you are and whatever you are doing (CAUTION: make sure that whatever you are doing does not require 100% of your attention. You don’t want to get injured, in anyway), for example, waiting in your doctor’s office. You can just repeat your affirmations mentally and no one would know that you are repeating them.
• Regularly use the tools given in the last section to keep track of your mental state everyday. This will help you gauge your progress into an expanded state of being.

If you practice these techniques, I would like to hear your experiences. Good luck to you on your journey into higher vibratory realms.

In Part-1 of this series, I talked about the confusions and internal conflicts that arise, if the guru-disciple relationship is not seen in proper, higher perspective. In this part, I will discuss my own confusions, and how my teacher Siddhar Thirumoolar clarified my doubts using my wordly relationships as examples.

My Confusions

Until Siddhar Thirumoolar contacted me, I hadn’t realized that I was treating Babaji (even though I hadn’t made a personal contact with him) with some mystery, awe and most importantly some form of fear and dependency. The moment Siddhar Thirumoolar contacted me, questions arose, “Will it anger Babaji, if I take Thirumoolar as my guru as well? Oh, my god, what have I done?” I know this is insane. But, the sane part of me said, “Don’t worry. Babaji and Thirumoolar belong to the same lineage of Siddha masters. Though not known yet, I am sure there is a reason why this contact was made. Just go with the flow.” But, that insane part of me, the part with limited ideas and thoughts, kept coming up and confusing the issue. Then, I got initiated into Thirumoolar’s Siva Yoga (TSY), even though this question was still nagging me in a corner of my mind.

As time went on with with my practice of TSY, more truths about guru-disciple relationship were revealed (discussed in articles, here, and here), but a nagging feeling still continued. While writing and posting the article, How I contacted Thirumoolar, something happened in me; felt something open up—a channel for communication, maybe.

Another Dialogue with Siddhar Thirumoolar

[ During meditation, a powerful, loving voice started in the form of thoughts, exclusive of all others, about my stubbornness of not accepting a few things in my life as they are ]
I said, “What? I am just hearing something. I am probably telling something to myself.”
The voice came again, “I am Thirumoolar.”
I said, “That night I saw you. How am I not seeing you now and only hearing you? I would like to see you.” (See How I contacted Thirumoolar.)
He said, “Not yet. That day you saw me in semi-conscious state. In conscious state, you won’t be able to handle the light. Your inner senses need to open up fully.”
I asked, “I also want to see Babaji. I have never seen him. Some times I wonder…”
He said, “Don’t worry. In time you will see him. Know that he is there for you.”
That really made me happy. I saw a faint outline of the smiling face of Thirumoolar as we see him in the painting.
So, I asked him, “I have been having this confusion for a long time. If I take you as my guru, would I be insulting Babaji? I know at a deeper level, it is absurd to think that way, but my limited thinking keeps coming up with this question.”

I felt him smiling, again.
He said, “The problem is coming because you are treating us as gurus and putting us on a pedestal. Treat me as your aNNa.” [ aNNa, in Tamil and Telugu—two of the Indian languages—means “Elder Brother.” ]
I said, “How can I treat you as my elder brother? Is it not disrespect? You are so expansive, so much more older, and so much more knowledgeable than me.”
He smiled and said, “Think of it this way. When you were born, your biological brother was sixteen years old. So, he was sixteen years older than you. Did you not call him aNNa? You still learned from him, as you grew up, did you not? It is the same way. I came before you and gained the knowledge. As your aNNa, I am here to pass it on to you. If calling me ‘aNNa‘ puts your mind at ease, then that is what you should do. There is no disrespect in it.”
I asked, “How about Babaji?”
He smiled, “You can call Babaji, aNNa as well.”
I asked, “How about Lord Muruga?”
He said, “You can call him appa (Father in Tamil language) or Murugappa (Father Muruga). He is the father to all of us.”
I said, “Okay Gurudeva.” [ GurudEva means “Divine Teacher.” ]
He said, “You don’t need to address me that way. Call me aNNa.”
I said, “Sorry. aNNa!”
He continued, “I don’t want you to worship me or Babaji. Take away our pictures that you kept in front of the computer on your work desk.”
I said, “Okay. I will do that,” as he continued, “In the pUja (meditation) room I want you to face east and away from where you kept all the deity pictures. That is, your back should be to the deity. You are one of us and you should feel and behave as such.” [ Note that in Hindu tradition any idols or pictures of the deities are arranged facing east. ]
I said, “Okay.”
[ He then gave me a technique tailored for me. ]
I said, “Thank you very much, Thirumoolar Anna.”

My Conclusions

This dialogue also revealed to me that both Mahavatar Babaji and Siddhar Thirumoolar are my gurus, my brothers, my kinsmen. I may have been part of the Siddha tradition for many lifetimes. It may have been a cosmic plan for this life where I came to know Babaji and Thirumoolar in that particular order. I believe that there is a cosmic plan for everyone of us incarnated on this planet and it will be revealed at the right time and the right place.

I hope that this article helped you to clarify some of the questions you may have about guru-disciple relationship—it is based on love and respect, but not on fear, clinging or sycophantic behavior. A True Guru always points you to your highest potential that is within you. Best wishes to you for your unique journey.

In this two-part series, I will discuss the confusions, questions and doubts that arose in my guru-disciple relationship with Siddhar Thirumoolar and Mahavatar Babaji, and their subsequent resolution, in hopes that it will help you resolve your own confusions and internal conflicts when it comes to your relationship with your teacher. Hopefully, this will trigger a contemplation within you to figure out, if your own relationship to your teacher is based whether on equality, mutual love and respect, or on fear, clinging and sycophantic behavior. None of the latter three leave room for mutual love and respect.

One Ancestry for All

Confusion and Stagnation

Learning by Emulation Becomes Dependency

Higher Self Tries to Clear Doubts

To Be Continued …

I wish you a very Happy and Prosperous New Year 2009.
May this new year shower its choicest blessings on you to help fulfill all your desires, dreams and aspirations, and move you towards complete Self-Mastery.

Love and Light to you.

Based on our chosen model of creation we can define two approaches to spirituality and life–(1) A Bottom-Up approach and (2) A Top-Down approach. The names, “top-down” and “bottom-up” are chosen based on the frequency or vibratory levels discussed in our model and they have nothing to do with their colloquial usage.

Both approaches can be followed effectively only if you fully understand them.

As you will see below, the bottom-up approach is the most prevalent in the modern times. We will discuss that first. I will use “he/him” when referring to a “generic person.” This in no way means that women are not spiritual. The term “he/him” is used only for convenience.

Bottom-Up Approach

In the bottom-up approach, a disciple is told that he is ignorant, that he is mired in maya or illusion, and that he does not know how to get out of it. He is told that he is weak and he needs to look up to a higher power. Some of the gurus take this approach and tell their disciples that if they worship him, they will get salvation or enlightenment at the time of their death–that he will take care of them. This path, if followed without intellectual discrimination, may give rise to fear based sycophantic behavior, idolizing the guru, and spiritual slavery. This is being followed mostly on our planet right now, because most people live in and from fear, and don’t want to take personal responsibility for their lives. It is documented that some of the so called gurus have taken advantage–emotionally, materially, and physically–of their male and female devotees, even children.

Further, in this path, you are considered egotistical and therefore your ego needed to be subdued or given up. To let go of the ego you need to submit yourself to a higher power. This higher power may be a physical guru or god. This is described as the path of surrender. However, in this ego driven world true surrender comes with difficulty. Moreover, true surrender is not clearly understood–it is not physical surrender. It is surrendering all expectations in your life to the higher power. In true surrender, pleasure and pain, happiness and sorrow, ease and difficulty–all of them–you attribute to only to that higher power you believe in. You basically say, “I am ignorant. I am clueless. I don’t know anything. Everything that I experience, be it happiness or sorrow, it is not mine. All belongs to that higher power.” And, you do nothing about it. However, we usually take credit for good things and blame god or higher power for testing us or giving us difficulties in our lives. You cannot have both ways. In bottom-up approach, you basically have to surrender both successes and failures–and the action itself–to the higher power. This is a form of active surrender, since you constantly practice leaving all responsibility for whatever happens in your life to your higher power. As you can see, this surrender to the higher power is by the ego/mind which is the judge of credit or debit of your actions. By constant practice of this surrender, you subdue the ego/mind. If you closely observe, the routine rituals of all mainstream religions follow this path, though they only partially encourage true surrender.

Firstly, to actively surrender to your higher power, it requires a lot of courage and trust in that higher power. Secondly, it requires some intellectual discrimination. This is not ego based discrimination. But, it is the knowing, “The higher power will never take advantage of me in anyway. The higher power is only love. The higher power is constantly working on increasing my vibratory frequency, helping me to come out of my emotional prisons, so I can finally merge into it.” If a physical guru is taking you in the opposite direction, you need to use your discrimination to get out of that prison. A true guru will never imprison you in anyway.

As you can see this path is not for everyone. If you are too intellectual and more inclined to the path of knowledge, you may be conflicted very much on this path, and may not make any progress at all. This may even cause a lot of ill-will towards your guru who may be well intentioned. It is up to you to decide if this path is for you. On the flipside, as mentioned above, if you do not exercise any discrimination, you may get exploited by the so called gurus or end up joining personality cults. That will not help you progress spiritually in your life. Therefore, your feelings have to be balanced by a discriminating intellect.

Top-Down Approach

Great masters have always taught this approach. They always taught, aham brahmasmi (I am Brahman), sOham (That, I am) or SivOham (Siva, I am) right away. They have not said this to be recited just as a mantra, but to live it everyday–you can recite this as a mantra successfully only with the understanding that “All are brahman.”

In this approach, you understand that you are the creator. When you started expressing yourself through a form you got attached to that form (body + mind). Then, you started imagining yourself to be the form and that you lived in the world you created. Therefore, on this path, you approach all the spiritual practices with the intention, “I am already the creator. However, I have strongly identified myself with the form and world that I created. Through these practices (spiritual and otherwise), I don’t gain anything new. But, only break free of the attachments to the form and uncover who I truly am.” From this perspective, you are creating everything, everything is in you and nothing is outside of you. Here the you is not the form, but the formless. There is a need to remind ourselves constantly of this fact. Also, understand that there is an underlying reality to all that we perceive. But, that reality is perceived by us through our own filters. This is the reason why it is said, “You create your own reality.” or “As inside, so outside.”

When you approach your life this way, the prescription is to live as the creator. Every morning, when you wake up ask yourself, “How can I be more creative today? How can I be more like the Creator who is effortless in His creating?” When you practice any spiritual technque, become the watcher of the performance by the body and the mind. You should be the witness of everything that you do–not just the spiritual practices. This cultivates the detachment from the results of your actions and from actions themselves, giving you room for stress-free creativity.

In this top-down approach, it is understood that the ego really does not exist, but only the attachment to the form that creates a sense of individual self. You create, you enjoy, but without attachment to your creations. If your creation dissolves later, then so be it. Take this as play just as a child would. So, if you feel elated because you accomplished something, let the feeling pass through you, feel elated fully without guilt or holding back, but don’t let it touch you and don’t get attached to it. Just watch it move through your body and mind. Remember, this is your internal state of elation. As long as you don’t thumb your nose at somebody else literally or figuratively, because of your so called accomplishments, there is nothing wrong with elation. Also, ask, “What was that experience? What wisdom did I gain from it?” This questioning immediately take ego out of the equation. We are on this planet because we want experiences and consequently gain the wisdom. This means that everyone of us was supposed to be on this planet at this very moment at the very place we are in. In the top-down approach, everyone is brahman or the absolute, and therefore equally a beacon of light, intelligent and creative. If you approach everyone with the thought that they are also brahman the same essence as you, then you will not do anything to harm them, nor would you thumb your knows at them, in effect, removing the egotistical behavior. This will, therefore, slowly remove the sense of separateness and move you towards non-dual awareness.

In this approach, as the creator you take full responsibility for your life. Whatever happened, positive or negative, happened because of you. However, as the higher power, you are untouched by it and are just witness to what happens. In being the witness you are already in surrender to what is.

Now, this does not mean that you may not have a guru/teacher physical or otherwise. You may have a teacher who truly will keep reminding you that you and he are the same in essence. He will keep reminding of your inner creative power and infinite potentiality and the divine within. He will treat you as his equal. He will give you a clearer understanding of the techniques and how they relate to the top-down approach.

This approach may not be for you, if you think that someone or some other power needs to show you the way by holding your hand. This requires tremendous intellectual discrimnation to trust your inner voice. However, this path has a pitfall–if you are too intellectual and over analyze everything, it will not take you anywhere. Why? As the creator you follow your feelings with your intellect supporting them. Therefore, your intellect has to be balanced by a feeling heart.

Choosing a Path

When you compare both approaches, you will see that they both end up in the state of surrender and witness consciousness. Additionally, after you had some experiences, sufficently expanded in consciousness and increased your vibratory level, you will realized that you are moving into the top-down approach. So, why not start there?

Without proper understanding, some spiritual seekers jumble up the bottom-up and top-down approaches and get confused and conflicted. They are either told by their gurus or they read in books, “You are god the creator. All are.” Then, they are given techniques without imparting understanding of proper practice or told to do this or that worship, a ritual, or to serve the teacher without asking questions. If the teacher himself is truly selfless, then it is a different matter to serve them, since they do not demand anything from you. It is rare these days to find such teachers in the mainstream spiritual market. We may actually find some of them living a very normal life right in our backyards in relative obscurity. But, I digress!

When you jumble up approaches, it leads to a lot of confusion. It leads to questions like, “If I am god, then why does my life suck? If I am god, why should I worship others?” It is good to choose one approach and stick with it for a while.

A beginner usually starts with the bottom-up approach, because it will sound easy. The rituals may work and after sometime he may have some experiences pointing him to greater reality. Then, he may start to explore the top-down approach. Of course, we are humans and our minds are strong because of the analytical education given to us in schooling. This may cause a bit of confusion and conflict during the transition period. You may feel strongly that you are the creator of your world, but thoughts will come up to the contrary. If you constantly keep reminding yourself that you are the creator, and just watch the contradictions arise and fall as waves on the surface of an ocean, then it will pass.

If properly followed, both approaches will lead to the same state of complete surrender and witness consciousness. However, in my opinion, the top-down approach is more suited for the current age of the intellect. It allows you to take complete responsibility for yourself.

State of this World

I don’t believe in the dog-eat-dog world. I believe in a cooperative world. Remember the good bacteria in our intestines. We are feeding them, and they are helping us–a cooperative world. Change your internal state from competition to cooperation and the rest will follow. This is a remedy for our so called ego hassles. Constantly remember that if you are brahman, the light, and the intelligence, and so are others. They are at this point in life, because that is what they want to experience at this time in their life. If you do that, then you will take away all judgment and the cooperation will arise. If they want help, you will be willing to help them freely. If they want you to leave them alone, you will do so without any emotion. You can extend this not only to your coworkers, but also to your family members and friends. When you understand clearly a path and follow it, there will come a day, when you will see your Self in all.

How can you do by being? What does it mean by being? Being sounds like just sit and do nothing. Is it being lazy? What is it?

To Just Be

Being as I understand it, is to “just be” with “what is.” If you are frustrated, then be with that frustration and observe what it feels like. Don’t distract yourself from that feeling. Do not suppress it. If you do, then that will get lodged in your body as a chemical and may cause disease. If you are inspired, then don’t resist it. Let that inspiration create through you.

Feel Fully

Let’s see what happens when you just observe your feelings and allow them to be expressed through your body. After you finish experiencing the emotion, body feels light and you don’t create mental stories around that emotion any longer. No clutter, so there is space for creative expression to take place.

Body is Part of the Divine

The following is my current realization. Our body is part of the divine that you are, though a small part. Though mind or ego (this is what we think we are) also arises from the divine, it has its own agenda—to do something or the other, and to think incessantly. This mind comes between God (the true Self) and God (the body). If this gap becomes too wide (that is mind takes over too much), then body will start reacting adversely telling the mind to stop widening the gap and create a clear link to the true Self. Mind is the one that says, “Do… do… do. Don’t just be. If you don’t do it, then everything is doomed. You can’t make it!” This is what the collective mind of the society trains our minds—and we tell ourselves the same thing. This is the state of the world now—”Do, compete, crush others. Otherwise, you are a looser and you will be left behind.” This conditioning makes people think that it is a Dog eat dog world.

Doing Stresses the Body

Doing involves a lot of thinking and analyzing before doing anything. This thinking and analyzing leads to fear, which prompts us to procrastinate rather than do. We (as egos) think, “What will happen, if something goes wrong?” This “What will happen?” mostly means what will happen to me, my reputation and my story. Mind lives in the past in fear of the future. Never in the present. Only the true Self and the body live in the present moment. When the mind takes over too much about doing making the gap too wide, the body starts telling the mind to stop—in the only way it knows how—through pain and disease.

Being Means Flow

Being does not mean being lazy. But, when you are in being the work automatically happens. This means, if the work is meant to happen, it will happen. But, if it is not meant to happen, then it won’t, even with all the physical and mental effort we put in. This means, in beating ourselves up in the “doing mode,” nothing will happen, if it is not destined to. So, why beat ourselves up?

Being is Creation

Doing by being is the most helpful in any creative endeavor. “Creation” by definition means “to make or bring to existence something new; something unprecedented.” But, fears arise, because mind can only cope with things that already known. When encountered with something new, it goes into a panic mode. In some people it is more stifling than in others. This fear is caused by thoughts arising in the mind as we just discussed. When the mind clears and steps aside, there is a greater link that is created between your true Self and your body, so creative expression of the true Self comes through the body.

Doing Melts into Being

From being, doing arises, naturally, organically. No effort is needed on your part. Take for example, writing of this article and most of the articles on this site. No effort was put into writing them. Yes, there was an effort of typing the words, editing and rewriting. However, no real effort, in the traditional sense of the word, was put into the creative act itself. I, most of the time, have a title or subject that I want to write about, but don’t know ahead of time what I am going to write. I don’t plan or outline the article in anyway. It feels like it puts me in a box of how the article should turn out.

Sometimes, I do not know what I want to write about; nor do I have a title or subject in mind. It feels like there is something that wants to come through me. I meditate a while, sit quietly and access that stillness, silence, peace, god within, or true Self that knows more than the little me, the ego. Some random words or thoughts come up and start putting them down. After a few minutes something coherent starts emerging and that becomes an article’s first draft. That is the artistic or creative act. After that come the rewriting and editing cycles which are part of the writing craft and have nothing to do with art.

That is the state of Being. Does this mean that the mind or ego or personality is not there? No, mind is there and is needed to interact with the outer world. However, this mind is a servant to the god within—a clear bridge between true Self and the body. Creative act happens, automatically, when this master-servant relationship holds.

It Takes Practice

However, this did not come easily to me. I have to admit, when I started this blog in 2007, I had this idea that I wanted to make this blog number one in the blogosphere in the area of self-mastery and enlightenment. I read about blogging and Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and implemented a lot of the advice. Among that was the advice that I write articles on a schedule, and put them out everyday or at least three to five times a week. Otherwise, readers would forget my blog quickly. All that advice assumed that people had short attention spans. However, I soon realized that it was not true for me. I concluded that I could not force things out of me. That would just be the work of the mind and the quality suffered.

Nothing Really Matters

In the past year, I realized that, in the end, nothing really mattered except the true Self. I decided to write only when strongly prompted from within. I was prompted more often in the initial months of the blog, since it was all building up inside before I even started the blog. Now, I am not prompted that often. That is why you see me posting articles in longer intervals. This seems to have worked for my blog. I have a small group of loyal readers, who are very interested in what I write and they take equal interest in participating in the discussions.

All That Matters is “To Be”

All that matters now is to “just be” and listen to my inner promptings. When the inner prompting comes, the mind still resists sometimes, saying, “If you write about that or do that people may laugh at you. You will be a looser!” Or, when there is no inner prompting for anything, the mind may come up and say, “You looser! You are not writing or doing anything. Look at the world, it is moving forward leaving you behind. Look at all those blogs out there, they are overtaking you.” Then, these times become hard, if I am not aware of myself and stop from getting carried away with self-pity and self-criticism. I tell my mind to just shut up and say, “I choose to be that way.”

Choose to Enter into Being

This way of doing holds true in all my daily work now. How does this help in my job where my employer feels that I must do? I don’t feel, “I must, have to, or supposed to do.” I choose to do. When I say, “I choose to do,” I remove the mental resistance right away. This clears my mind and makes it a clear bridge between the true Self and the body.

You can carry this attitude of “choosing to” (either to do, or not to do) in all your endeavors in your life. Because everything is a choice that you make. When you choose to, then you accept what is and enter a state of being that brings in a higher level of consciousness and quality into everything. This is a form of surrender to the divine.

Contemplation

So, in this state of Being,

• Who is creating?
• What/who is the created?
• Who is there to accept credit or blame?

Answers to the above questions can only be arrived, on individual basis, through contemplation and by just being. It is up to you, now.