detergent bin

Relationship introspection

cfree — Mon, 18 Aug 2014 15:48:34 GMT

I love everything about this article.

I've been reflecting on why it's been so difficult for me to romantically connect with people over the years. I don't have a good elevator speech, so bars and big gatherings usually aren't the best mediums for me to express myself (the awkwardness is _part_ of my charm!). The Reaction Formation is a terrible dating tactic, but for some reason I'm really good at it (Like someone? Be aloof!). I also tend to wayyy overthink things (case and point), which usually makes me oblivious to subtlety.

In short: Patience please, gents. "I get better with time!"

Anxiety for 800, please

cfree — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 23:33:55 GMT

It's been over a year since I started experiencing the weird symptoms. First was the dizziness and heart palpitations. In late February, the right-sided headache started, following shortly by the right-sided eye pressure, right hand and right food tingling/weakness.

I was in the ER twice. I saw an ENT doc, an allergist, a neurologist, an opthamologist, a dentist. I had a sleep study done. I went to a massage therapist.

I had blood work done, x-rays taken, an MRI, a nasoscope insertion, an eye exam.

The first theory was that I was still acclimating to the altitude. Then it was assumed that I was really sensitive to new allergens in Colorado. There was even talk about a TMJ disorder. Around August, I was getting so fed up with the various symptoms and the limited degrees of success resolving them. Every specialist I had seen said I was fine, but I was still miserable. I had two choices left to try: psychiatric route or cardiology route. The halter monitor test costs around $800, so I decided to try medication for anxiety.

I had experienced acute anxiety before, but not the low-grade variety that builds up and sneaks up on you. Lo and behold, within 2 weeks on an anti-anxiety medication, I was feeling normal again for the first time in months. The issues just melted away.

Between Bill's untimely passing, having to quit an unpleasant job, moving to a new state, starting a challenging new job, having to filter for new friends again, being perma-single, owning two cars, and decreased paychecks for various reasons, it's no surprise that everything balled up on me. Not knowing what was wrong and not having a plan of attack for treatment was only making me more upset.

The normalcy came at a cost; the side effects were not pleasant. In December, I decided to try another medication. Fast forward to the anniversary of the onset of symptoms, and I'm still struggling with the medication change - trying to find the right dosage amount comparable to the previous drug. Unfortunately, the symptoms are beginning to poke through the medication veil. I can't help but feel like I'm only masking the symptoms rather than addressing the cause of them. Also, It'd be great if I could stop taking the medications altogether.

This week I decided to take the initiative and request a referral to Kaiser's Behavioral Heath department. I spoke to a psychiatrist, who did the initial triage of my case. I explained to her my last year in detail: the symptoms, the stressors, the trials. She was the first medical professional who could say, with great confidence, that my stressors had manifested into physical ailments; they somatized. Apparently my symptoms were fairly common, and there's a treatment course. A way out!

While I still have some work to do to get my head in order, I now have a road map. I'm very grateful for an otherwise clean bill of health. When things don't feel right and I (nor anyone else) know what's wrong, I've learned to look inward. It's somewhat surprising that I didn't consider that sooner, because I'm usually really good at introspection! Regardless, I look forward to tackling my stressors, embiggening my support network, and eliminating my reliance on medications to feel normal.

Here's to a happier, healthier 2014!

Bill

cfree — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 01:45:11 GMT

I'm writing this more as vehicle for healing rather than to tell the story, but I suppose its serves that purpose too. Be advised, the details may be graphic for some readers but I'll keep them brief.

To start the story, I'll provide a little background. I arrived in San Diego in late February of 2010 and was introduced to the social scene at a friend's house for a Super Bowl party. On the two-year anniversary of my arrival in California, I went to the same party with some friends to watch the game. Dan (danlmarmot) and I were floating around the yard and between the rooms, chatting with game-watchers throughout the afternoon. We saw that the party hosts recently had an electric car-charging station installed on the side of their house and a few of us were commenting on it, as nerds do. Bill walked up beside us and made a joke. We introduced each other, engaged in small talk and after awhile, parted ways.

I was impressed with his ability to walk up to complete strangers and just strike up a friendly conversation. He seemed genuinely interested in talking and my fine-tuned sense of ulterior motive was not flashing any warning signs; I could tell he was someone I wanted to know better. We communicated here and there online, though sporadically, because his aging computer was more of a chore to operate than it was entertaining. We moved the conversation to texting; I believe I was the reason he had to change his phone's service plan to accomodate more texting. Knowing he had a flip-phone (and that he was quite proud of his beat-up relic), I commend him for sticking with it.

One cloudy Sunday afternoon in March, I was in the mood for a road trip and hopped in the car. As I was driving, I decided to head over to Coronado and explore. Just then, I got a text from Bill and through a series of messages, I convinced him to join me. We spent the afternoon dodging rain clouds and walking on the beach on Coronado, becoming acquainted and building the foundation for a friendship. Before long we were going on dates, grabbing thai food, going hiking, watching old movies, or just going for drives. Everywhere we went, he would point out a property he had done landscape work on. It was obvious he was very proud of his work, as he walked me through the decisions for why he designed the outdoor spaces in the natural ways that he did - "No squares!" he would say. I was continually impressed with the amount of attention to details he paid to each client's needs. It seemed that most of his clients were more than pleased with his talents and passion, because he never went looking for work. After having such a hard time finding close friends in town, our friendship was a breath of fresh air. We didn't always see eye to eye on things - sometimes dramatic differences in our values - but we could always make each other laugh.

In late May I started having trouble with sciatica, to the point where I was having trouble walking and sleeping. Bill, the nurturer, did his best to help, but eventually I think he realized that there wasn't much he could do. He invited me to his house for the 4th of July and spent most of my birthday with me (even patiently sat through embarrassingly long phone calls). Among other things, the possibility of me taking a job in Los Angeles did not sit well with Bill, even though he didn't voice it, and he began to distance himself. By August I was beginning to recover from my ailment, but by then it was clear to both of us that a friendship was the extent of our relation. Saddened, I distanced myself even further and it wasn't until September that I started to reach out again. For awhile, we met up at least once a week to catch up and hear each other's anecdotes over Thai dinners, beer, or a movie.

Mid-October rolled around and I had a lead on a new job in Denver. We hadn't met up for dinner for what I thought was because I was busy preparing to go east for an interview. He had eluded to a GI illness, but didn't stress to what magnitude; Bill was very sick. His friends persuaded him to seek a medical evaluation, which he reluctantly did. The Wednesday before I flew to Denver, I took him out to eat at Sala Thai (I still have the receipt and mint he left in my car's cup holder). Apparently it was the first real meal he was able to hold down in two weeks. He was pale and had lost a lot of weight, and I scolded him for not speaking up. Even though I told him to let me know if he needed anything, being the stubborn and self-reliant Texan he is, he said nothing. He told me of how he was being forced to go for a panel of blood work, as he hadn't been to a doctor in quite some time before that. I started to give a speech on how he needed to take care of himself better, like eating breakfast every day, but he had already agreed to follow through. We talked about the job in Colorado and he gave me advice on where to go explore in Denver. He told me of the few times he went backpacking up the mountains and how he had to carry an injured hiker 20 miles back down to the trailhead. He was able to relate to anything with a story of his own.

The next day I went to Denver and returned at the end of the weekend, full of anecdotes to share. He was still recovering from his illness, but had gone back to work for the first time in over two weeks. This left him tired throughout the week, so we didn't get to share right away. I got the job offer on the Tuesday, his roommate got home from a trip on Wednesday and we made plans for Thursday.

That morning, I got a text while at work from Bill to the effect of "I need feeding, what's for dinner?" I had purchased some food from Trader Joe's earlier in the week, so I invited him over for dinner. He arrived a little later than we had discussed, but he brought me a can of peas to make up for it. While I was cooking dinner, I told him about my weekend in Denver and how beautiful it was with the leaves changing the color. This reminded him of a gift he had brought for me, "a taste of home" he called it: leaves from New England that his roommate had brought back from her trip; easily one the simplest, most thoughtful things anyone has done for me.

I served dinner and I told him all about the job and the city. At that point I hadn't given them an answer to their offer yet, but Bill was encouraging me to take it; he was thrilled for me. In fact, he was more excited about the opportunity than I was! Our conversation continued onto other things, like his health and how his week was going. I remember he was excited about his roommate being home and that he was ready to get back to work because he didn't like being so skinny. At some point he was talking about a story he had watched on the news about how a kid was being bullied for using a fork upside down, "like the British do." We laughed about how stupid that was to be bullied over. I can't remember the details of the conversation after that, but Bill started to talk and made a noise that I thought was meant to emphasize his disgust for the topic; a noise that sounded like he was clearing his throat but continued on, as if he were straining. He was upright, but leaning on his right arm, which was on the table. I asked if he was okay and it was when the noise didn't stop that I realized I had heard this before: it was a seizure.

Calmly, I got behind his chair and reached under his arms, grabbing my wrists on the other side of him, and lowered him to the carpet. I cleared the area around him and made sure his airway was open, but the tonic phase (muscle rigidity) of the seizure continued. The noise I was hearing was the air being expelled forcefully out of his lungs by his body. Shortly after, the noise subsided and he entered the clonic phase (convulsions), though his body was still tense. For a few moments I played with the idea of calling an ambulance or letting him seize and then take him myself, but his muscle rigidity persisted and prevented his body from being able to breath. When his face turned purple, I knew something was very wrong. As I clamored for my EMS bag to find a bag valve mask, I somehow called 911. My mind was competing for both shock and Paramedic mode and I wasn't able to concentrate on both the phone and getting Bill to breathe at the same time, so I ran next door, threw my phone at Al, my neighbor, and had him talk to 911. What happened next felt like 30 minutes, but was actually more like 5.

As Al talked to the dispatchers, I went to work. First, I tried the bag valve mask to get Bill some oxygen but his goatee didn't allow for an adequate face-to-mask seal. He was gasping for air at this point and I was pleading with him to breathe for me; the whole time his blue eyes focused on the ceiling above us. Al tried to relay what the dispatchers were instructing, but I was way ahead of them. Bill's gasps slowed and he started turning pale, as I tried two more times to get him at least room air. I felt for a pulse, but I couldn't feel anything, likely because my hands were shaking so badly. I began chest compressions, instructing Al to ready a pocket mask. After 30 compressions and two broken ribs, I tried the pocket mask with minimal success. I remember completing 2 more cycles of CPR before the fire department arrived.

I gave them a quick report of what happened, moved some furniture to make room, and then stepped outside. The adrenaline was pumping and my hands were shaking wildly. I was having trouble concentrating on giving answers to the police officer's questions. I don't remember the paramedics arriving. The next few minutes were a blur. At some point I realized I needed to call someone, but wasn't sure who. I couldn't find his phone and I didn't know how to get ahold of his roommate. I didn't have the number of the only mutual friend I knew of, Henry. I tried calling my old neighbors and finally one of them picked up. I had them tell Henry to call me immediately; I wasn't sure what else to do. I vaguely remember hearing the police outside joking about a local sports team's recent performance and then going inside to watch the medics work. They shocked Bill twice, announcing that he had persistent V-Fib. They did a full workup, CPR continued and they transported red, though I don't remember them leaving the apartment with him. I stood in my living room in shock, as the fire department cleaned up empty wrappers and cardboard boxes in silence. I stared at the recently-used dishes on the table, his Coke was still dripping with condensation. I noticed the blood stain on my carpet from the IV they started in his right AC. It took a minute or two for me to get moving again. Grabbing a phone charger and a sweatshirt, I got in my car and raced to the hospital. Thankfully Henry called while i was en route and I made him meet me there.

The nurse at the counter was busy chatting with a morbidly obese black woman, who was possibly a coworker of his. I politely but quickly interrupted, explaining that my friend came in by ambulance with CPR in progress, that I was a paramedic and asked him to take me to his room so I could be there. He practically rolled his eyes, sighed, explained that he has a job to do and to let him do it and that I should take a seat while he figured out what was happening. I paced the busy waiting room, and I'm sure someone must have thought I was crazy, but the adrenaline was still pumping and I couldn't sit still. Reality crept in as I went outside for fresh air. I was alone, my good friend quite possibly died in front of me, and I didn't know what to do next. Realizing that there was nothing more I could do, I began to calm down. I went inside and waited impatiently for the nurse to return. Ten minutes later, he called my name and brought me to a hallway, where we met another nurse. Greetings were half-heartedly exchanged and she brought me to a room in the ER with the curtain drawn. She began to ask if I knew of any family they could call. I didn't hear any commotion, ventilation or EKG machines weren't beeping, so I stopped her mid-sentence and asked if he was alive. The nurse looked shocked that no one had told me yet, and, embarrassed, she began the "We did everything we could" speech. I cut her off, telling her to stop, and went behind the curtain.

There laid Bill, motionless on the hospital gurney with a gown draped over his chest (I had pulled up his shirt for chest compressions). His face was whiter than before, and his blue eyes, now lifeless, remained open. My friend was gone. I had seen people die, sometimes in front of me, and I had lost friends, but never at the same time. I hadn't been trained for that, and it wasn't until Henry arrived at the hospital did the gravity of the situation set in. I lost it.

William Hart passed away, without warning, around 7:00pm on October 25th, 2012 at age 51. The Medical Examiner concluded the cause of death to be a massive myocardial infarction. Short of being in an operating room, there was nothing anyone could have done. That night I drove out to the beach on Coronado, where we had first gotten acquainted several months earlier. I was distraught, numb. I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to be alone. The worst part was that it was the exact scenario where I would have called up Bill to talk about it.

The next few days were strenuous. I took a day off of work and I had to sign the paperwork for the new job. I am so incredibly grateful for the efforts and support from Henry, Al, Sylvia, Jerry, Chris (cpratt), Steve, and a handful of others. I found that distraction was the key to healing. For awhile, it seemed it that there was evidence of Bill surrounding me, but I kept occupied with one job concluding and the preparing for another. Bill's memorial service was held the weekend before I left for Denver at the home of his good friend, Robert. I was fortunate to meet and reminisce with Bill's family and friends. This jovial, sarcastic and thoughtful man had touched the lives of so many people and, even though I only spent a few months knowing him, I am beyond fortunate and thankful for that time.

The consolation I take from this experience is that I was able to share dinner and a laugh with a good friend one last time; that he was able to share his excitement for my new adventure. I take comfort in knowing that, if any of his friends were at all qualified to handle the situation, it was me. I'm glad I was there at his side during his transition, but, selfishly, I still really miss my friend.

2012, my Saturn Return

cfree — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 17:53:30 GMT

The Saturn return is an astrological phenomenon when the planet, Saturn, completes it's orbit and returns to the place in the cosmos that it was approximately 29.4 years earlier. According to Wikipedia, the Internet's most reliable information source, the Saturn return signifies major change in a person's life every 29 years or so, taking them from their previous life stage and catapulting them into the next. The first Saturn return marks true adulthood, the second, maturity, and the third, wisdom. Saturn returns are generally marked by turbulent times intended to test you and to teach you lessons; to ready you for the next phase of life.

Based on the results fro a Saturn Return Calculator, my return was scheduled to occur between December 2011 and September 2012. I would argue, however, that it arrived early and made itself comfortable. I'm not one to read too deeply into astrology. I tend to think that astrology is vague enough to allow you to find a way to relate to it. That's likely the case here too, but there is an interesting coincidence.

Overall, I found 2012 to be exhausting. I felt tired the entire year, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or some combination of the three. I lost 25 pounds on the Stress Diet. There were periods of relaxation and comfort, of course, but they were generally amid looming columns of stress.

Here are those columns in no particular order:

Tim - After a spontaneous meeting in Nov. 2011, the excitement of the mutual infatuation and the flurry of correspondence that followed created a high unlike any other. Unfortunately, that meant I had a long way to fall. By early Jan. 2012, it was unexpectedly over following an awesomely awkward visit to San Francisco. The first day was fantastic and fun, but the second was like a light switch had turned the mutual interest off. Crushed and confused, I spent the next few months healing under the radar.
Sciatica - Part of my healing process was to go hiking, and in 2012, Chris (cpratt) had joined Dan (danlmarmot) and I on our hikes, which had increased in frequency to several times per month. The week before I was scheduled to leave for the East Coast at the beginning of June, I threw out my back. Annoyed, I pushed myself rather than rested. While walking through NYC with a heavy backpack on and having been awake for 40 hours, I started having a strange pain in my left leg. Not a tingling or a sharp pain, just a chronic ache varying from uncomfortable to disabling, that lasted for the next few months. Walking was a challenge and sleeping was routinely disagreeable. After several visits to massage therapists and physical therapy, the pain subsided in August after performing a series of stretches
Old Job - Interestingly, I had been working diligently throughout the beginning of the year. My mood, however, was noticeably different. I was miserable while getting over Tim, and I was not as agreeable with my extroverted boss. I wasn't rude or disagreeable, but being an unquestioning "Yes Man" was apparently part of the job description. As you can imagine, I didn't have the energy to kiss ass. This fact was brought up as part of the performance review that I had requested in April. "Management" - and I use that term lightly - was surprised that I was still working for them. Long story short, I had to prove my loyalty (even though nothing but my personal life had changed) over the next few months. Additionally, I put up with their snarky comments, negative attitudes, poor work ethics, lack of management skills and appreciation, and, in general, unprofessional conduct. Though I was pleased to be employed, I knew this was not where I belonged.
New Job - I stumbled upon a job listing for a Front-End Developer in Denver in mid-October. It was for a well-known WordPress consulting firm that I didn't think I had a chance of getting, but the listing said they offered relocation, so I gave it a shot. I had a phone interview and, to my surprise, they flew me out for an in-person interview. After 5 hours of being grilled by 6 people and a 3-hour dinner with management, I was offered the job 2 days after I returned to San Diego. I arrived December 3rd and hit the ground running. I was immediately overwhelmed with the sheer amount of knowledge there was to absorb. There were systems on top of systems to wrap my head around - all very impressive on a high level, but very complicated under the surface. In the middle of learning an entirely new workflow, new software, new names and train schedules in a foreign city where I knew almost nobody, I had to do my normal work. I was in bed by 7:30p every night for the first two weeks due to sheer knowledge saturation.
Moving - I basically gave myself 5 weeks to move from one life to another. I spent the first week deciding how to approach the next 4. I announced to my boss my two weeks resignation on Nov. 2nd, fully ready to perform at highest capacity until then but fully expecting to be let go well before. The next two weeks were awkward, full of behind-the-back insults and venting at my expense. Fortunately there was light at the end of the tunnel, but "management's" behavior only reinforced my decision to leave them. Having moved numerous times before, I had been slowly packing up things but basically had one weekend to completely tear down my apartment and prepare it for the next tenant. If it weren't for my family, friends, and neighbor, Al, I wouldn't have finished in time to leave by Nov. 20th. I hit the road with a moving truck towing my car and arrived in Denver on Thanksgiving. After a brief introduction to the local apartment-hunting game, I settled on renting a room and putting the rest into storage, which meant moving again eventually. Shortly after, I started the chaos that was the first week of the new job.
Bill - Saving the biggest column for last, there's the Bill story. I go into more detail in another post, but basically my good friend, Bill, passed away of a massive myocardial infarction while we were having dinner at my apartment on Oct. 25th. I can't begin to describe how devastating it is to watch someone you care about slip away without warning in front of you. From laughing to silent, from gesturing to motionless, from warm to cold. Devastating.

Yeah.

All of these columns somehow relate to one another, either overlapping with or succeeding another column. The skeptic in me says its all just randomly unfolding in front of me, but After watching Tom Shadyac's documentary I Am, and reading a bit from Buckminster Fuller, I give it a second thought. Take this quote, for example:

Up to the Twentieth Century, reality was everything humans could touch, smell, see, and hear. Since the initial publication of the chart of the electromagnetic spectrum, humans have learned that what they can touch, smell, see, and hear is less than one-millionth of reality. Ninety-nine percent of all that is going to affect our tomorrows is being developed by humans using instruments and working in ranges of reality that are nonhumanly sensible.

I'm not saying this justifies astrology, but it makes me wonder if maybe the columns are, in some loose and unseen way, connected.

While there have been plenty of enjoyable moments throughout the year, (new friendships, a career boost, new cities), 2012 has left me physically, mentally, and emotionally in the red. For better or worse, I appreciate the challenges that were thrown at me - I know now that I can handle them - but let's hope Saturn has had it's fun and moved on. I welcome the new year with open arms.

State of the Network

cfree — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 21:01:19 GMT

I decided a few days ago to start writing more. Yes, I know I say that every year, but my current options for blogging are overwhelming. Lately I've been posting mini-updates to Facebook, which I am growing increasingly less fond of by the day. Rather than figure out where to post and recap of all of the mini-updates, I find something more interesting to do. It's time to change that.

Here is the current state of the CFree Network:

craigfreeman.net - For professional use (résumé, projects, work-related blog)
195labs.com - For my currently unincorporated company (freelance showcase) [not active]
58parks.com - For my review of the National Parks that I visit [not active]
detergentbin.com - For personal blogging (meant for my old Blogger blog, then for this blog) [not active]

My goal is to have one place for people to visit for all my updates without reliance on a third-party service (Facebook, Livejournal, etc.). The immediate problem I would like to avoid is mixing my professional posts with my personal ones, so one site for all posts isn't a good idea. Instead, I am going to either resurrect freemanc.com or procure another domain (cfrmn.com? cmesser.com? cf1.me?) and have that act as home base for the CFree Network. It will aggregate all of the recent posts from craigfreeman, 58parks, and detergentbin, as well as other services I use, like Flickr and Instagram. This way, friends and family can see what's going on without having to rely on Facebook (which won't be around forever...). Of course I can still post a link to the site on Facebook and retain ownership of the content. I'd likely cross post things from detergentbin to LiveJournal.

For the sites that are not yet active, I would like to flesh out their intended purposes and begin to use them. 58parks.com, for example, was meant for National Parks, but I'd like to have a place to review all of the traveling that I do (International/Domestic trips, motorcycle day trips, hiking, etc). This still needs some work. Any suggestions out there? Maybe another domain entirely or just lump those posts in with detergentbin?

California Coast Day Six: Portola

cfree — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:20:44 GMT

After Starbucks I went to lunch at Super Duper Burger, which was tasty, although super duper expensive. I wandered around the Castro waiting for the bus and returned to the apartment to do laundry for the rest of the afternoon.

At six I took the 5 bus to South of Market, where I met up with Ian, a friend I made in town. While waiting for my slow bus to arrive, Ian was able to obtain free tickets from a group that had purchased too many. Thanks, MUNI! I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Less is More exhibition had just begun, featuring Dieter Rams and the products he developed while working at Braun and Vitsœ.

I was impressed not only by the beauty and simplicity of the designs, but by the variety of products that Braun had sold. Until now, I thought of Braun as developing only electric shavers and travel alarm clocks. A great majority of the products on display seemed timeless; things I would consider purchasing today. These products clearly followed Rams’ 10 principles of good design; principles that I had been particularly attracted to prior to knowing of them. Towards the end of the exhibit, there was a showcase of products throughout the last half century that followed these principles but had not been developed by Rams. Interestingly, many of the items in this showcase were Apple products from the last 10 years.

We wandered through the rest of the museum. I found the photography to be half interesting, half drab. My favorite exhibition was of the paintings. Select pieces were showcased in each genre of paintings, and almost all of them affected me in some way or another.

It was starting to rain when we exited the SFMoMA, so we opted to grab dinner at a place nearby. A new restaurant, The Melt, had opened in the area recently, so we gave it a try. The menu consists of a half dozen or so different grilled cheese sandwiches paired with various soups and homemade potato chips. The prices were fair and the food was appropriate for a rainy evening.

Following dinner, I returned to Jon and Liz’s apartment to gather my belongings before heading south to Portola, where Donovan and Fred live. There are some seriously steep hills in their neighborhood; many not suited for a manual transmission. I had to make a few laps before finding their house on the 45 degree street.

I got the tour of the house, met Lincoln, their black lab, and we caught up briefly before entering a potentially exhaustive conversation about X-Men comics. We cut it short in favor of sleep, hopefully to be continued; there’s much to cover!

I woke up late again this morning. After a week of not needing an alarm clock, I have noticed that it is taking longer and longer to get moving; a problem I will need to remedy before I return to San Diego. I left the house around 11am and floundered my way through the MUNI and BART systems, getting to the Castro by 12:30. I had lunch of breakfast at Squat and Gobble and returned back to Starbucks to do the routine. I have been planning my route to hit the nearby vintage and second-hand stores in the area before the Mad Men engagement party for Jon and Liz on Saturday evening. So far I have a white button-down shirt and black shoes – a far cry from a costume and alone, likely illegal in most states.

California Coast Day Four and Five: San Francisco

cfree — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:55:24 GMT

In order to maximize my day in the city, I had to get an early start. I left Gary’s Ranch of Solitude around 8am and headed back towards US1 at San Gregorio. After a quick breakfast at Starbucks in Half Moon Bay, I continued north towards San Francisco. I took a short break to take photos at Ocean Beach and ended up at the Cliff House and Sutro Baths ruins at Land End by 11am. The weather was near-perfect: 50’s and sunny, brisk and clear.

The Sutro Baths are a fascinating example of urban decay, a phenomenon I seek out in various cities. Rochester, for example, has the remains of the Erie Canal bed turned Subway resting quietly beneath the city streets. It’s this type of abandoned, decaying architecture that I love to explore, imaging how it was in its prime. It’s like walking back in time. In the 60‘s the baths had been converted into a roller rink and apparently a portion of the Harold and Maude film was shot at the baths ruins after the fire destroyed the complex in 1966.

The ruins are situated along the shoreline, with pieces of its structure likely washing away with every crashing wave. The only thing remaining is the foundation and some stone walls, but enough to give you an idea of what it was like at the turn of the century. Several signs warn visitors to exercise caution, as some guests had been previously sucked out to sea. Ducks bobbed in the pond created by the ocean spray collecting in what was once the main pool. To the north, a tunneling cave brings you to a view of the bay entrance. Above this cave is a viewing platform of the grounds and a path leading to the trails of Lands End. Apparently most of the trails run along the path of the Sutro steam train. The train was modernized later, but due to landslides, the route was deactivated for financial reasons.

I decided to see where the path would take me and, after an enjoyable walk among the pines along the bay, I ended up on a rock outcropping near Mile Rock, which had evidence of prior ship warming lights. It provided a great view of the Golden Gate Bridge, so I decided it was a perfect place to sit and eat my sandwich for lunch. I meandered back to the car and met up with Jon, who was working from home, at their apartment in the Richmond.

Jon, Liz and I caught up over a delicious dinner and wine at a Turkish restaurant called Troya in the Richmond neighborhood, followed by window shopping with sweet crepes. We dropped off Liz and visited Twin Peaks to test out Jon’s new camera tripod. It was a crystal clear night, ideal for photos.

The next day they went off to work and I decided to sleep in; my body needed the extra hours and I was not feeling up to leaving the city quite this early in my visit. I eventually walked a few blocks to the Golden Gate Park and was surprised to find that the California Academy of Sciences museum had free admission for the day, which explained the crowds. I found that the exhibits were well executed and both engaging and educational. The Galapagos exhibit was fascinating and the aquarium showcased elements of the California coast, which I had wondered about during my drive north. My favorite part was the Living Roof, which was made up of various flowers and grasses planted on the roof to create a fully-sustainable building.

From there, I wandered through the de Young Museum, which was an interesting collection of American historical paintings organized by certain time periods. I still find the Civil War era most attractive for some reason. There were a few other collections of Polynesian and African tribal paraphernalia. The Victorian-era collection was an extra fee, so I skipped it and caught the last elevator to the tower, providing a panoramic view of the city from the center.

I walked back to my car and took a bus to the Castro, where I had intended to meet up with some friends at the 440 bar. I missed the meet-up and Jon and Liz were occupied until later, so I stayed and explored the neighborhood for a few hours. I ate dinner at a restaurant called Blue before riding the 33 bus back to the Richmond.

This morning I am sitting at one of the busiest, smallest, and most full Starbucks I have ever visited, which has provided for great people-watching. I had originally planned to take a night tour of Alcatraz, but was unable to procure tickets so I will enjoy my morning and come up with a new plan of attack for the afternoon and evening.

California Coast Day Three: Plaskett Creek Campground to Skyline Drive

cfree — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:00:22 GMT

I eventually exhausted myself worrying about animals in the campground enough to fall asleep but was abruptly awakened by car doors slamming by my neighbors getting an early start to the day. I did the morning thing and was on the road early because the campground had no showers. The fog looming over the mountains with the sun occasionally breaking through was a great visual for an early-morning drive. I found another National Forest campground nearby that was much closer to the water; I'll have to consider it next time if the wind is not blowing.

About 30 minutes into my drive I hit a minor roadblock: CalTrans workers had shut down the road for about half an hour while they did some crane work on a new bridge they were building. A line of 6 cars had parked and waited along the side of the road until the pilot car could guide us safely through the construction zone. The rest of the way to Big Sur was beautiful, however I flew past the Julia Pfiefer State Park, so I missed the McWay waterfall I had planned on viewing. The scenic two-lane road among the mountains gave me an enjoyable view of the cold, harsh ocean below, which made up for my error.

Big Sur itself seemed like a sleepy little town, so I continued on my way up to Santa Cruz. Coming out of the mountains and down near Monterrey and Carmel, I noticed the landscape returned to rolling brown hills, apparently perfect for all kinds of agriculture. Winding my way through the farms and sand dunes, I skipped over Monterrey and arrived at Santa Cruz around 11am.

Mike was kind enough to give me a great tour of the city, which reminded me a lot of Pacific Beach in San Diego. We stopped at Lighthouse Beach State Park to view a monarch butterfly sanctuary. Hundreds of butterflies covered the branches of the park's eucalyptus and sycamore trees. A short walk later was the lighthouse (now converted into a surfing museum) and a magnificent, clear view of the Santa Cruz boardwalk and pier and even Monterrey in the distance. We visited the Natural Bridges State Park, which now featured only one remaining natural bridge.

After a quick lunch at Burger and a drive up to the rural UCSC campus for a great view of the city below, I hit the road once again. The next stop was to visit Gary, a good friend from New England who moved out to the Bay Area about a year before I trekked across the country. The drive to Skyline Drive was full of narrow, tree-covered, windy roads, perfect for a six-speed manual transmission paired with a 5-cylinder engine with turbo! I reached Gary's ranch shortly before sunset. He gave me the tour of his huge house on the side of a hill, with not a neighbor in sight. A perfect fit for Gary and I admit that I really liked his new home and it's isolated location. Even though he's in mountain lion country, he's a mere 40 minutes to the 4 major U.S. cities surrounding him. Perfect.

We had dinner nearby at Angie's Diner, caught each other up on the past 3 years and crashed early. I was assigned the Cat Room, which housed Luther and Chloe, two attention-hungry Burmese cats. An hour later, they finally let me sleep.

California Coast Day Two: Refugio State Beach to Plaskett Creek Campground

cfree — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 04:29:43 GMT

As I do every morning, I awoke around 7am. There was a brief moment reminiscent of RIT weekends where I had forgotten where I had gone to sleep, sans the dehydration. A strange sound permeated the tent that I was not used to hearing so early: silence. I laid in my cocoon of blankets and sleeping bag for a few moments, preparing myself for the day.

It was not as cold as I had expected it to be; the EMS workshirt and winter hat kept me warm while I walked out to the ocean to greet the morning. The sun was not quite high enough to be hidden by the layer of clouds waiting for it. After snapping a few photos of the shoreline and the Channel Islands, I returned to my campsite to take down my tent.

Breakfast, camp duties and a 50¢ shower later, I hit the road towards San Luis Obispo. On the way north I attempted finding the Gaviota hot springs. An hour later, I returned to the car unsuccessful. I had to cut my hike short due to time limitations.

I continued north and met up with my friend, Kevin, who joined me in relaxation at the Sycamore Springs Resort. A dozen or so sulphuric hot springs-fed hot tubs sit among a forest of sycamores on a hillside at this resort and can be rented hourly. I highly recommend a soak if passing through the area.

After lunch, we parted and I continued north, ever racing the sun. After a brief stop in Morro Bay and another to the see elephant seals, and I arrived at the Plaskett Creek Campground in the Los Padres National Forest just before a spectacular sunset. My dinner of vodka cream sauce and noodles was spoiled by moths in the box, so I settled for dinner of Hawaiian sweet bread and leftover potato chips.

My day is winding down as I enjoy my beer and cigar, listening to the fire crackling and the waves beating the coast beyond the cliffs. Theres a crispness in the air and the wet pine needles near my feet suggest a recent rainfall. The stars here are an incredible sight and despite my four neighbors in the campground, it is amazingly quiet. Peacefully so. We are miles from electricity and cellular service; an incredibly scenic drive in either direction.

Tomorrow i will rejoin civilization, but tonight I will re-center myself.

California Coast Day 1: San Diego to Refugio State Beach

cfree — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 04:18:38 GMT

Today marked the first day of a 2-week, multi-city, off-season adventure. I originally had planned on attending a cruise with Phil in the Caribbean, however for many reasons, the trip did not pan out. This left me with a week of scheduled vacation time to burn. It could not have come at a better time, as I was beginning to burn out at work and San Diego has been less then stimulating lately.

I had played around with the idea of traveling to Europe, but finances and talk of a Europe trip next year halted those plans. I decided to finish my drive up the coast that I had to quit halfway due to fires in Big Sur and Santa Barbara in the summer of 2008. The trip took me as far as Santa Barbara before I had to turn inland and approach San Francisco from San Jose. I pulled out the Hidden Coast of California and 100 Hikes in Southern California books to begin a trip outline.

Rather than embark after work on Friday, I chose to sleep in and leave mid-morning to allow a leisurely drive during daylight hours. I left my apartment (after several false starts) around 10am, heading north on the 5. I decided to take the "scenic route" of the Pacific Coast Highway starting in Huntington Beach, but I didn't know there was nothing to see but strip malls and stoplights along this stretch. I finally made it to Malibu before I had to turn inland to stop in Ventura.

The first time I was in San Diego I stayed with Brady, who had moved to Ventura around the time I moved to San Diego. This trip was a perfect excuse to drop by and catch up, so we had dinner of brats and sauerkraut at the German deli adjacent to Brady's new barber shop. The sun was rapidly setting so we parted and I headed west to Santa Barbara, where I bought dinner and some supplies. I arrived at camp shortly before a beautiful sunset behind the cliffs. It's amusing to see my tiny Volvo and backpacking tent among the great RVs and pickup trucks. I'm such a city slicker.

As I bask in the glow of the LED lantern, listening to the waves crash on the beach while sipping my hefeweissen and tapping on my technology, I am reminded of how fortunate I am to be where I am right now. Not just geographically, but in general. It has been a challenging road up until now and, while I am grateful for a break from the daily grind, I look forward to returning with renewed passion towards my career and home. This is only the beginning.

Live and learn

cfree — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:04:37 GMT

While I've enjoyed exploring the area and have built a comfortable and stable career and home, it has been a struggle. In the last 18 months or so of living in San Diego, I've learned quite a few life lessons: How to deal with personalities I don't get along with, when to pick battles, letting go of details, when to hold my tongue in the interest of peace, etc. The biggest challenge I have been facing while living here has been social.

Fortunately, upon my arrival in town I was thrown into a large social setting. From this party and others, I met a lot of people who I am still friendly with, but I am having difficulty establishing core friendships; a problem I've never had before. In the past I've had groups, such as ambulance, fire department and scouting, that offered a meaningful purpose to bond over. I spent the last 10 years defining myself and my friendships over these activities, but they just aren't options anymore. I had to start from scratch and found myself questioning my core interests and beliefs. It is difficult to convey yourself when meeting someone new when you aren't sure who you are anymore.

Shortly after arriving in town, I lost my job. Being fresh out of college, my developed self-confidence slipped away over the next few months of unemployment. Several supposed friendships withered and I couldn't figure out why. Being the introvert, I looked internally for answers, reasons. I went from being the semi-interesting new person to just another jaded guy. I withdrew, feeling out of control. I stopped obsessing over social relations and I concentrated on my career. I spent entire weekends at Starbucks studying new frameworks and approaches for my job. I took on more responsibilities at work and stayed late many nights attempting to conquer complicated issues. I restored much of my confidence by challenging myself to be better and I think this is relevant to most areas in life.

Instead of always looking inward or blaming west coast culture when I don't understand a social discrepancy, I considered other factors. Slowly I started noticing that I wasn't the only person having such difficulties; everyone has them. This was a huge realization that has helped to restore some sanity. In high school someone had to take the initiative to plan activities or they wouldn't happen. In college, there was always something happening, so that initiative atrophied. I started reaching out more. I concentrated on fostering some friendships while I reluctantly let others go. I stopped taking it personally if nobody shares my enthusiasm towards an interest or if someone doesn't enjoy an event I organized attendance to but had no control over. I am building my core friendships on the west coast, slowly but surely.

I'm still cynical, oversensitive, and under-confident, but I accept that this is all part of my journey to self-actualization. I suppose life lessons wouldn't be learned if it weren't for trial and error. Most of my distaste for living here comes from these hardships, I just hope I don't associate this city negatively because of them.

San Diego, California has a new Paramedic

cfree — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 07:40:02 GMT

Today I completed all the requirements necessary to work as a Paramedic in San Diego, CA. It has been an intense process, one that I don't recommend attempting unless you plan on a full-time career in EMS. It took me a little longer than it should have because there's no clear documentation on what exactly needed to be done in order to obtain accreditation. Here's an outline of what I had to accomplish, broken down by dates and the necessary stages:

1/21
- ACLS completed through my previous agency. $0

2/25
- Submitted online NREMT renewal. $70
- DMV to obtain copy of CHP Ambulance Driver's Handbook. $5

3/2
- USPS for the CA paramedic licensing fee cashier's check and to send Out-of-State Verification forms to NY and CT EMS offices via mail. $231.98
- Mailboxes, Etc. to get my passport confirmed by a notary for the IS-01 Statement of Citizenship form. $12
- Received letter from previous agency stating that I completed 40+ ALS -level calls while there.

3/8
- Live Scan fingerprinting at American Background Services for CA EMS Bureau, sent to DOJ and FBI. $71

4/16
- Received letter from paramedic course instructor stating that I completed a course that met or exceeded US DOT standards.

4/17
- USPS to submit CA paramedic license paperwork via mail. $4.90

5/6
- Received CA paramedic license via mail.

5/13
- Balboa Park Internal Medicine for DMV Medical Examination. $150

5/18
- DMV to attempt Ambulance Driver's Certificate test. No fingerprints requested by DMV on file.

5/19
- Live Scan fingerprinting at American Background Services for CA DMV, sent to DOJ. $52
- Bank of America for the Palomar College's San Diego County Accreditation Workshop cashier's check. $157
- USPS to submit Accreditation Workshop application to Palomar College via mail. $0.44
- DMV to re-attempt Ambulance Driver's Certificate test and to purchase copy of H6 DMV personal driving record report. $30

6/1
- Palomar College's San Diego County Paramedic Accreditation Workshop, paid parking. No Protocols/Medications booklet available. $-6

6/2
- San Diego County Emergency Medical Services Office to obtain San Diego EMS System ID card and Protocols/Medications booklet. $27

---

1. National Registry re-ceritification
ACLS and CPR are required certifications in order to re-certify, in addition to the skills review and boatload of CME's. I had a current CPR card, but my ACLS had expired. Once I received the ACLS card, I submitted my paperwork online, which was a brand new process at NREMT.org. It was complicated and confusing, and I had to submit it a few times before I got it right. In addition to my information, I had to have my agency's Training Director and Medical Director create user accounts and confirm that my information was accurate.

2. California Paramedic License

This step took the longest. I couldn't submit this paperwork until I had the renewed National Registry There was a lot of information-gathering necessary, so I would recommend requesting the training and field contacts documentation as soon as possible, since those are what held me up. Here's what I needed to submit:

Out of State Paramedic Application
Documentation of current National Registry certification (copy of the card)
Documentation of current or prior state paramedic licensure or certification (copy of card)
Documentation of training hours that meet CA requirements. If training hours do not meet CA standards, provide evidence that the training program meets or exceed the US DOT paramedic curriculum. (Letter from course instructor)
Documentation of 40 or more ALS field contacts were included in initial training (Letter from previous agency Training Director)
Completed Request for Live Scan Service form (Fingerprints obtained and submitted to FBI/DOJ at a Live Scan Agency)
Pages 1 and 3 of IS-01 form, Statement of Citizenship, Alienage, and Immigration Status. (fill out the form, have a notary confirm a legal document of identification. A Passport worked for me)
Cashier's Check payable to EMS Personnel Fund of $230

You can find those forms here, or you can call the lovely LaShawn Pettit at (916) 323-9875 and request a reciprocity packet be mailed to you (interestingly she still shows up on my "Someone You May Know" list on Facebook). Additionally, I had to send Request for Verification of EMT-Paramedic Status forms with pre-stamped and pre-addressed envelopes to the CT and NY EMS offices. They had to confirm my license and submit the form directly to the CA EMS Authority in Sacramento.

3. Ambulance Driver's Certificate

This process was also unclear. I chose to do this step third because I had a few weeks to kill before the County Accreditation Workshop, but I couldn't get this until I had my CA Paramedic license in hand. I had purchased a California Highway Patrol Ambulance Driver's Handbook from the DMV ($5) when I had gotten my CA driver's license. Basically, it's a review of all the applicable laws and codes. Read it, know it. The test asks some pretty specific questions, like what medical skills aren't necessary for a driver to know, who is ultimately responsible for vehicle maintenance, and allowed speeds at a train crossing if visibility is less than 1000 feet in each direction. I was lucky and guessed a few correct answers, but I had to take the test twice. You are only allowed to fail it three times before you have to pay the $25 fee again. Also, California is only allowed to release fingerprint records to agencies that request them. Since the DMV requires fingerprinting for this certificate, this means that you have to get your fingerprints taken twice. Once using the form for the EMS Authority, and again using the form for the DMV. Cha-ching! You have to pick up this Request for Live Scan Service (DMV-8106) form at the DMV.

Additionally, the DMV requires a medical physical be done every two years, using a Medical Examination Report (DL-51). The Ambulance Driver's Certificate is not valid if the Medical Examiner's Card is not present or has expired (ask for it at the DMV information desk; it's a green card that the physician conducting the physical has to fill out).

4. San Diego County EMS System ID card

This was the easiest step of all the California-related steps. I was told by the secretary at the SD County EMS office that I needed to take a San Diego County Paramedic Accreditation Workshop before I could apply for an ID card in person. Easy. The only class I could find was at Palomar College, about 45 minutes from downtown, which holds a workshop usually once a month. You have to send a few documents along with the application and $150 cashier's check or money order via mail at least two weeks before the course starts or you have to wait until the next class. More information is available here. The class was an easy introduction to the protocols and the system, I'm glad to have done it. Parking costs $4. They had run out of SD County Protocols booklets, so we were refunded $10. They can be purchased at the county EMS office for the same price. Of course, the 2010 protocols come out 7/1, so I'll be shelling out another $10 then.

The next day, I went to the SD County EMS office, showed the secretary the Accreditation Course Completion letter from Palomar College, my ACLS card and my CA Paramedic license, paid $17, and smiled for my picture. My System ID card expires the same date as my state license.

I immediately went to Staples to get a double-sided and 3-hole punched printed copy of the 2009 Emergency Medical Services Treatment Protocols & Policies Manual and 2in. "durable" binder; $47 for the manual, but for some reason they didn't charge me for the $8.49 binder. A thumb drive was necessary to obtain the manual's PDF from SanDiegoCountyEMS.com for the Copy Center to print, which cost an additional $0.60 to use their computer and $8.69 for the 2GB thumb drive. The Staples trip cost $56.29.

From start to finish, the process took 18 weeks and 6 days, from 1/21 to 6/2. Heads up, everything cost approximately $801.32, not including the cost of gas, food, or the Staples items.

There were additional costs to prepare for applying for jobs, like copying certs and purchasing report covers, but that's just me having Job-OCD. It is very clear to me that California is hurting for money; it cost me $50 in New York for a Paramedic certification and $75 in Connecticut (now $150).

Now if only there were any open Paramedic positions!

This article is intended to help those who may be considering California reciprocity. The information presented may not be all that is necessary to do so, but it's what I had to do. Feel free to ask me questions or provide comments or suggestions.

ROC to SAN, day 3

cfree — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:11:53 GMT

This leg of the trip wasn't nearly as exciting as the past few days. We left Council Bluffs around 10a and crossed over into Nebraska, where we spent most of the day. There was a lot of brown, gray, and white. Non-stimulating. The clouds cleared out near Lincoln and the temp was in the high 50's, turning into a pretty good driving day. I introduced Dad to the movie, 'The Hangover,' which was well-received.

The landscape seems fairly flat, but before we knew it, we were 4,000 feet above sea level with no mountains in sight. We began to get comfortable with the 75mph speed limit... Much of Colorado is similar to Nebraska, but with less farmable land. I caught myself wondering how much money I would lose by planting raspberries and forgetting to harvest them. Damn Farmville...

Fort Morgan is where the first peaks of the Rockies were visible. The closer we got to Denver, the more of the range we could see. About an hour later, we were in the middle of the mountains, crawling up the 7% inclines in 2nd gear with the 4-way flashers on. I could see how easily a snow storm would close the roads through I-70; 7 mile-long declines at 6% does a number to your brakes and anxiety level. The run-away ramps are a little disconcerting as well. I only saw one tractor trailer with burning brakes on the side of the road. Noob.

We cruised through the mountain range, through the mountain tunnels and past the Continental Divide, reaching at least 10,600 feet. We arrived at Frisco, Colorado around 6:45p MST. Frisco has a small, well-kept main street with all kinds of bars, restaurants, and small hotels. We had a room reserved at the Frisco Hotel, so we parked the car along a snow bank, had a few beers with dinner at the Moose Jaw, and passed out.

We averaged 11.8mpg, traveling 606.3 miles for a total to date of 1669.9 miles. Iowa and Nebraska are done, 4 states left!

The original plan was to stay near the mountains so that we could snowboard for 1/2 a day in the morning before heading out, but we were ill-equipped and it was really cold, so we opted to have a leisurely wake-up and continue west. A bummer, but I'd rather not take many unnecessary chances during this trip.

ROC to SAN, day 2

cfree — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:41:32 GMT

After getting in late the night before, we got a late start to the second day. We had a quick breakfast in the hotel lobby and headed out. Notre Dame University was on the way to the highway, so we took a quick drive through campus, fueled up and hit the road. I'm mildly annoyed that the Overdrive feature on my car likes to reset when the car is turned off. Indiana's roads are in good shape, but they tend to have rhythmically-placed lane-wide bumps in the road, which I'm assuming is a product of the concrete layers beneath the road settling. The result was a nauseating, bumpy ride for many, many miles. Besides the fun-house effect on the road, we hit some traffic in Gary, Indiana, which reminded me a lot of the NJ Turnpike: power lines and smoke stacks.

We dodged the numerous tractor trailers and we met up with my father's pilot friend, Bud, in Morris, Illinois. They left to have lunch while I had a phone interview with the University of California's San Diego Medical Education Department for a Programmer/Analyst I position. The interview was one of my better phone interviews, and they asked some tough questions, but I always walk away from interviews thinking I sounded like a babbling idiot. I'm sure I managed at least two cohesive sentences, so it'll be interesting to see what happens.

I had lunch at Chili's before hitting the highway again. We drove to Iowa, where we ran into some expected precipitation. It started snowing around 5p CST, but I didn't think anything of it. I've driven through so many snow storms on the NYS Thruway that it's strange to drive it without a whiteout. We continued westbound on I-80, noticing some cars sliding off the side of the road. There were some hills, but still nothing terribly concerning. We slowed down when it started getting darker during rush hour. You could tell people were rushing by the increasing number of cars off the road in both directions. It wasn't until I saw a tractor trailer completely off the road in the opposite direction was I concerned. Immediately afterward, we came across a pickup traveling westbound towing a similar Uhaul trailer that had jack-knifed and slid off the road. Needless to say, We flipped on the four-wheel drive and slowed way down.

More cars were noticed off the road, but the one I feel most guilty about not stopping to help was the Jeep, who two minutes earlier had passed us going at least 70mph, that went off the road into the median and landed on it's roof. All the voices in my head were telling me to stop and help, except the one that one voice of reason. With the conditions and the low visibility, combined with the lack of emergency lane, we would have easily caused another accident. My father called 911 and reported it. Fortunately, fire crews were clearing from another rollover a mile down the road and responded.

The snowed quit after 3 hours. We grabbed a quick dinner at the Happy Chef (meatloaf with bacon?) and made it to Council Bluffs, Iowa by 11p. Fairfield Inn again.

561.6 miles completed with an average 13.8mpg (!), totaling the trip to 1063.6 miles in 21:05 hours.

Indiana and Illinois down, 6 states to go. Giddyup.

ROC to SAN, day 1

cfree — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 07:25:04 GMT

So much for leaving with a packed trailer at 6am. I didn't wake up until 8 and wasn't in gear until 9. You'd think that after moving 8 times in 9 years that I would be good at it by now. Fred & Steve were awesome enough to come help me load the car and trailer, after bringing me breakfast. Master Trailer-Loader, Steve, was in charge and surprisingly everything fit, but just barely. We finished loading and cleaning around 1p. I checked out the car and said my goodbyes to Knycos, Sam, and Chris before heading out to pick up my father at the airport hotel. We met up with Steve & Fred for lunch at DiBella's and Phil stopped by with James and Brian to deliver a bass guitar. From there, my father and I hit Wegman's before heading west.

The original plan was to meet up with my cousin in Chicago tonight, but plans completely changed and we would have arrived at 3a. Driving with a trailer took some getting used, but we managed to drive 502 miles in 8:42 with an average of 11.8 miles per gallon after filling up twice. We traded off driving a few times, and ended up staying at a Fairfield Inn in Mishawaka, Indiana.

There were some flurries around Lake Erie by Buffalo into Pennsylvania, but they died off entering Ohio. A highlight of the trip was driving through Ohio and being buzzed by an ambulance going at least 90mph with no tail-lights. I was amused to find out that the cop who pulled out from the median in front of us sped off to pull the ambulance over. Also, while traveling through Cleveland past a sharp turn with a speed limit of 35mph, I witnessed a near-accident of a car who, somehow, missed the numerous, giant, flashing LED signs indicating the turn and nearly the turn as well. Otherwise, the drive has been quiet so far.

New York, Pennsylvania, and Ohio down, 8 states to go. Do it.

Post-move

cfree — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:38:17 GMT

After a full week of packing, a 24-hour visit from my parents to bring some furniture here and others back to Candlewood, and a thorough clean of the entire apartment, my Park Point residency comes to an end. I'll be living with 4 college/ambulance friends in a house until I either find employment somewhere or until I find my own place. Cheap rent, no lease, hard to beat.

Here are the post-move photos:

Empty, originally uploaded by CFree.

Fresh, originally uploaded by CFree.

Proof, originally uploaded by CFree.

Pre-move

cfree — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:21:40 GMT

After returning from Connecticut, I had a lot of things to do. Specifically, cleaning up my apartment and doing laundry after a month of hardcore studying. Here are the before pictures:

Bedroom, originally uploaded by CFree.

Desk, originally uploaded by CFree.

Laundry, originally uploaded by CFree.

Kitchen, originally uploaded by CFree.

Living, originally uploaded by CFree.

Map, originally uploaded by CFree.

Cans, originally uploaded by CFree.

Counter, originally uploaded by CFree.

Home again

cfree — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:37:02 GMT

After a very stressful and difficult quarter at RIT, I decided to take a trip home and visit with friends and family. I drove most of the way caravanning with Sam (and her cat, Lana). We parted ways where the NYS Thruway turns into I-87S.

Curious, originally uploaded by CFree.

Dad had left for a trip the day I got there, so Mom and I hung out before her friend, Janet, came to visit for a few days. I spent my days visiting various friends around Connecticut and even meeting new ones.

Lakeview, originally uploaded by CFree.

Out, originally uploaded by CFree.

On Saturday I finally got to meet Rich (ricinoutdoors ) for a hike at the Mansfield Hollow Dam recreational area, an excellent meal and some quality conversation. I'm pleased to have my very own RB original artwork, joining the lucky few of our mutual friends who have one.

Bear!, originally uploaded by CFree.

Kodak Moment, originally uploaded by CFree.

CFree, originally photographed by richbct.

Later that night and got to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in at least a year at a party in the next town over in Ashford. I also got to have dinner with DJ, Larry, and their friend Ernest, although Tequila's was closed for a family emergency.

It was a short but enjoyable visit, perfect to clear my head before I dove back into the pre-job hunt portfolio work.

Out of the country, be back tomorrow

cfree — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:11:15 GMT

On July 24th, 2009, Phil and I packed up the car and drove to Toronto for a 18-hour adventure. I bought the Depeche Mode tickets for his birthday, he paid for the accommodations for mine. We left around noon and traffic was terrible on the QEW, though the border crossing was relatively painless.

Depeche Mode, originally uploaded by CFree.

We got to the Molsen Amphitheater at 6:30p and found a good spot on the lawn to sit. I brought a tarp to sit on because it had been raining and the ground was wet, other people weren't so lucky to stay dry. Peter Bjorn and John opened for Depeche Mode at 7pm. They were alright, I only recognized the "Kids" song and the whistling song.

Concert, originally uploaded by CFree.

Setting Up, originally uploaded by CFree.

Wrong, originally uploaded by CFree.

In Chains

Wrong

Hole to Feed

Walking in My Shoes

It's No Good

A Question of Time

Precious

Fly on the Windscreen

Little Soul

Home

Come Back

Fragile Tension

In Your Room

I Feel You

Policy of Truth

Enjoy the Silence

Never Let Me Down Again

Encore:

Stripped

Master and Servant

Strangelove

Encore 2:

Personal Jesus

Waiting for the Night

The visuals were outstanding. There were a few large screens where they showed some pretty cool live shots of the band using some filters. There was also a giant LCD ball that had some visuals displayed on it as well. My favorite use of the ball was during Precious, where it looked like a typewriter ball spinning around. Despite having the tarp to sit down on, NOBODY sat down once the band came on. Everybody was dancing. I tried, but it looked more like a twitch. Whatever.

Tranquility, originally uploaded by CFree.

After two encores, the band finished with Waiting for the Night. We all sang Happy Birthday to Martin Gore and that was it. I wish I knew more of the songs before the concert. Phil gave me CD's of the setlist so I could hear them on the drive up, but I didn't recognize half of them.

We walked back to the car and (of course) got lost trying to find the Delta Chelsea hotel. New cities driving at night Craig != a good time.

Downtown Toronto, originally uploaded by CFree.

The view from our hotel balcony was pretty cool. We changed and headed out for a drink before the bars closed. We tried O'Grady's but it looked dead, so we ended up on the roof of the Black Eagle, mingling among it's regulars. It was fun to be in a different city's Forum-equivalent. Everything was so orderly, though. There was a nice line to get a drink (which I think we completely cut), a nice line to get upstairs to the second floor, and a nice line for the bathroom. Orderly.

Cien Tower, originally uploaded by CFree.

Another reason for going to Toronto was for Phil to go to IKEA. It was fun for about 10 minutes, then I was ready for meatballs.

Obligatory Stop, originally uploaded by CFree.

What a bargain, originally uploaded by CFree.

I could have done without the loganberry sauce, but they are pretty tasty. We ate lunch, cashed out and drove back to Rochester.

Loganberry..., originally uploaded by CFree.

Overall it was a fun trip, a much-needed break from a stressful quarter at RIT.

If that's moving up...

cfree — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:26:09 GMT

If that's moving up..., originally uploaded by CFree.

...then I'm moving out.

8th time moving in as many years. Serenity now...

Smoothie down...

cfree — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:22:11 GMT

Smoothie down..., originally uploaded by CFree.

Why I can't have nice things:

Last but not least

cfree — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:04:27 GMT

So, I took the Bridgeport Hospital Paramedic class from 2007 to 2008. I successfully passed the National Registry tests in June of 2008 and promptly moved back to Rochester the next month to finish my IT degree at RIT. Connecticut didn't really appreciate my address change, because I didn't receive my Connecticut Paramedic license until August, which meant that I didn't get my New York paramedic certification until September. This completely eradicated my original plan of moving to Rochester a few months before school started so I could get cleared and settle into the Paramedic role before I was inundated with classwork. In the meantime I had picked up a web development job to pay the bills, but quickly dropped it to concentrate on school.

Because Connecticut works on a license system, I just need to pay them $75/year to keep it. If I want to practice, however, I need to hold a valid National Registry card and take a Connecticut refresher every two years to retain medical control privileges. New York is different. They require a valid NYS certification that is good for 3 years. To refresh, a state course is required along with 48 hours of continuing medical education. New York saw my license expiration date of July 2009 and gave me a certification with the same expiration. Thanks. So, in the same year of completing my paramedic class, I was required to take a refresher in order to keep my certification valid. Over the next few months I struggled to fit in time to intern, refresh, and full time RIT classes. I took 3 years worth of CME's and the refresher class and finally completed the requirements in May of this year. The same day, I obtained the three 'Ready to clear" signatures on calls, making me eligible for clearance. May was a busy month.

I scheduled my clearance meeting and reviewed my local protocols. On June 11th I met with the training director and we went through two mega-codes on the mannequin with no difficulty. Then we discussed protocols in his office, to make sure that I know them cold. Then we had a talk. I spent 8 months training with precepters on dozens of calls, with various multiple-week breaks in between. There was some concern with my confidence level, which is understandable since most people clear after 10 calls. I explained that I am super-cautious and would not feel comfortable unless I were absolutely sure of myself. Between full time classes at RIT (hard!), 3 years worth of refresher material in less than one, and training, it took me a little longer to get adjusted than most. Now, more than ever, am I ready to practice.

I am now cleared as a Paramedic in the Monroe-Livingston Regional EMS system.

I have to work for six months with another paramedic, but that's a recent policy that all new ALS providers must follow. Now that I'm done interning, I can begin driver training. Another long story, but I expect to be fully cleared shortly.

Great American East Coast Road Trip

cfree — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:28:25 GMT

A few months ago, my friend, Matt, had asked if I would help him move to Florida. Um, yes! I need any excuse for a road trip. Upon his graduation, he was planning to move to Fort Lauderdale to live with some friends of ours that had move there a few years earlier. On May 31st, Matt and our friend, Dan, drove the Budget moving van and Matt's car down to Florida, straight through, in 26 hours. We occasionally stopped for gas and breaks, as well as picking up another friend, Knycos, from his home in DC. Two people per vehicle, one person sleeps while the other drives, re-fuel at 3/4 tank, go. We arrived at the house on Saturday evening in town for a homemade dinner of chicken finger parmesan with salad, garlic bread, and spaghetti. We then proceeded to pass out.

On Sunday we unloaded the van and helped move everything in. The house was incredible, a very sweet setup for students (and recent graduates). I worked on homework for my online classes while Dan helped Matt settle in. Knycos flew back that morning (crazy!). Dan and I spent the week at the Florida house, helping them find a new place (long story), going to the beach, checking out the fun Fort Lauderdale neighborhoods, trying new foods (mmm, zucchini) and going out at night. A fantastic first visit, I hope to go back soon because they are such a fun group to hang out with. I'm even a little envious of the support system Matt fell into right after college, but also very happy that he'll be alright there.

On June 5th I rented a Chevy Cobalt and drove to Naples, across Alligator Ally. It was a tough morning, as Justin took me out wayyyyy too late last night. They fixed my 'gut rot' Paramedic-style and I was on my way. The drive itself was mindless, and I don't remember much of it. I had recently re-upped Sirius radio for the road trip, but it barely worked properly. I think the antenna was broken. I passed out until the evening at my parents' place, and then we drove up to visit my sister and her family for dinner. More chicken parm, lots of laughs; it was great to see everyone again since Christmas.

The Naples trip went very fast. On the 6th, my father, mother and I met up with my cousin (coincidentally visiting from Chicago) to play some tennis. After some running around, we went back to the house. Dad had to go to work, and I jumped in the pool to get ready for golf with my cousin, aunt and uncle. I did really well, for not having played since March and for using Dad's Costco clubs. I scored a 44 on 9 holes, with an awesome last drive of 239 yards. Pool again, visited my grandfather with my uncle and cousin at his home, then met up with my aunt and Mom at the 10th St beach by the Naples pier. It was a picture-perfect evening! We played football, had some appetizers, and Mom put on one of her famous dinners on the beach (homemade vodka cream sauce with cavatelli)! A great ending to a fun, relaxing trip.

The next day I flew back to Rochester with no complications. Back to reality!

Pictures of the trip can be found here.

Tomorrow's gonna come to soon

cfree — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:55:26 GMT

Waiting for the parents to arrive... with dinner! (May 21 at 7:05pm)

My parents visited from May 21st to May 25th for my graduation ceremony at RIT. I spent a lot of the time programming for an iPhone web application project that was due the night of graduation (I got an extension).

Friday night was both the Commencement Ceremony for all the colleges in RIT and my college's Convocation Ceremony. The Golisano College of Computing and Information Systems (GCCIS) is RIT's largest school, so we were the only college to be done by Friday. My good friend, Matt, also graduated from GCCIS with me. The speeches were just ok, very generic advice, but it was odd to be participating in the ceremony after so many years of watching it. I almost felt guilty being there because I still have three classes to finish to complete my psychology liberal arts concentration and my degree. Technically I was allowed to participate, so I soaked it up.

The actual ceremony was a blur. Many more generic speeches, then people started lining up to walk across the stage. I was nervous when it was my time to line up, since the spotlight turns to just me for a sixth of a minute. Just me on the stage and the jumbotrons in front of hundreds of people. I remember walking up to the podium standing up straight, the announcer successfully pronouncing my name, hearing my cheer section scream, shaking hands with the president and getting a diploma folder, then walking down a long row of professors and shaking their hands. Six years, five majors and countless hours of studying for 10 seconds of glory.

I cheered a few more people as they walked the stage. I think everything was planned very well, as we cranked through the entire school in two hours.

My parents are great. Mom spent countless hours scanning in photos from old photo albums and put together an awesome video as a gift:

After their forced photo session, they created another video capturing the weekend:

Overall, it was a great weekend. My parents enjoyed the ceremony (they've been waiting for it for years!) and I took them to Dinosaur BBQ, which they loved. We spent an afternoon in Charlotte and got Abbott's custard, which is their newest obsession since they got one of their own in Naples. They drove back to Connecticut and then flew back to Florida.

It hasn't really hit me yet, graduating. I think once I get through these horrendous online courses in August, then I can really start to celebrate without the guilt. Still, I'm pretty much there!

Teaching kids about gay marriage

cfree — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:25:39 GMT

According to Bronfenbrenner's model, the macrosystem is the socio-cultural aspect of the ecological systems theory (Berk, 2008, p. 27). This is the environment where children gain important insight on cultural values, laws, customs, and resources that will assist them in their interactions with those in their exosystem and microsystem. Public schools are often an institution within the macrosystem that provides children with a standardized level of education, so that they may best function as informed and productive members of society. Recently some states, such as Massachusetts, have passed laws to permit same-sex marriage and have subsequently expressed the importance of teaching in public schools that gay marriage is a normal variation of a family (Parker vs. Hurley, 2006, http://www.massresistance.org/docs/parker_lawsuit/motion_to_dismiss_2007/order_motion_to_dismiss_022307.pdf).

Controversy has risen regarding the education curriculums, especially from parents and activist groups stating that it will influence children "to 'dream' of a future where they might marry someone of the same sex," (ChildCare Action Project, http://www.capalert.com/samesexmarriage-eduofchild.htm). Others concerned with the topic have had their requests to be notified of the time when the topics were being discussed denied (Unruh, 2007, http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=54420). Proponents for the curriculum change argue that it will allow children to be objectively exposed to family variations early in life so they may remain unbiased as they develop.

As Bronfenbrenner mentions, the microsystem is where adults influence children's behavior, attributes, and personalities (Berk, 2008, p. 26). It is likely that parents who disapprove of the changes in the education curriculum because they feel that they are out of control of what their children are learning. Since children often adopt the viewpoints of those within their microsystem, the schools are not lenient on their education curriculum: they are attempting to provide children with the information necessary to understand that "diversity is a hallmark of our nation" and that "it is increasingly evident that our diversity includes differences in sexual orientation," (Wolf, 2006, p.26 http://www.massresistance.org/docs/parker_lawsuit/motion_to_dismiss_2007/order_motion_to_dismiss_022307.pdf).

I recommend that the educators proceed, however, with caution. Students not being taught sexual education classes only need to know what a loving family can consist of. Students participating in sexual education classes should be taught both heterosexual and homosexual safe-sex practices, regardless of their parents' political positions. It is important for youth to be well-informed so that they may make the best decisions possible in their lives.

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A discussion posted to my Childhood and Adolescent Psychology class in response to the assignment:

Most people believe that parents are the major influence in the development of children. Few people think about the effect of public policy. Even though it is quite a bit removed in the ecological systems model (Bronfenbrenner, as cited in Berk, 2008, p. 25 - 26) public policy does have an effect on children as they grow up.

Choose an aspect of public policy that has a strong effect on the development of children (try to choose something that has not been covered by someone else). What is the major issue? What is the current state of affairs related to this issue? How does it affect children and their families? What changes would you recommend and why? Support your answer with at least one other source in addition to the textbook. For this discussion only, you may use newspaper or magazine stories on the issue.