Sometimes feeling good is not as difficult as you think. It’s that you focus on the negative, often obsessively, that makes it such a challenge.

Just for today consider there are moments in your life when things are going well and nothing needs to be improved. Thanks to the Heath brothers in their brilliant book Switch, there’s a term for this - Bright Spots. 

Bright Spots happen all the time, you just don’t notice, because mostly you’re not looking for them.

Instead you’re looking for all the ways things won’t or didn’t go right (hello lizard brain!)

But what would happen if you consciously began looking for all those moments when you’re confident, on track, and making things happen?

So today’s call to action is brief:

Look for your Bright Spots.

A moment in time, a great result, where things go just the way you want them. Stop judging these moments as being too short and start accumulating them as the wins they all are.

“Do not complain beneath the stars about the lack of bright spots in your life.” – Bjornstjerne Bjornson

Over to you:

Review your day and tell me what Bright Spots you’ve noticed!

Where have you tried unsuccessfully to do things on your own?

Where have you resisted support?

How has it stopped you from shining? 

Right here, right now, it’s time to let go and move forward.

And this is the prayer to do so.

Are you there God? It’s me {insert your name}.

I’ve had it, I’m done, I surrender.

I hereby give up my need to do it my way, and I’m asking for help.

Help me be clear, and of service.

Help me show up and share my gifts.

And please. . .

Help me get out of my own way.

I want to shine so bright that even you God, have got to wear shades.

I know what I’m here to do.

Help me do it.

What’s your prayer? Tell me in the comments. 

Any endeavour, business or otherwise, calls for faith.

And it’s an odd thing for me to be talking about because faith and I, well, we’ve not had the best relationship.

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to – what is best for me.” - Paulo Coelho

Clients often tell me they desire freedom. Great I say, it’s one of my core values, I totally get it. Let’s get this freedom train rolling!

But here’s the thing that messes them up. . .

They mistake freedom for a life without commitments.

Makes sense, right? No commitments = freedom to do whatever you want.

Then why are they still not happy?

Because commitments and freedom don’t work like that.

A lack of commitments doesn’t give you freedom. It gives you a boring, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied life.

Um. . .No. Thanks.

So choose.

Choose wisely, consciously and with your whole heart.

100% pure, untarnished commitment.

Which doesn’t necessarily mean you always want to (nice fantasy!) It simply means you take action on what you say you’re committed to. Because you said so.

And honouring your word is the key.

That is true freedom.

Now tell me. . .

• What are you choosing?
• What’s your commitment?
• What’s your freedom look like?

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon

My version. . .my first boyfriend asked me what my goal was in life. I said ‘to be happy’ to which he replied, ‘That’s not enough. Think bigger.” 

I think John Lennon and I got it right though.

What’s bigger than happiness?

And today I am feeling very happy because it’s the two-year anniversary of this blog.

Who knew when I shipped this baby thanks to Seth Godin’s Linchpin, that two years would go by so quickly?

Two years of dealing with my lizard brain, who would no doubt still have me dreaming of ‘someday’ becoming a writer.

Two years of learning things I thought beyond my scope of capability; so many late nights challenged by technology and resistance.

Two years of laughter and memories and love; connecting with the most amazing folks on the planet.

Because of you.

Sure, I may have kept writing if you hadn’t been here but I’m not so sure I would have covered some of the issues that have come up. Nor would I have I begun dreaming bigger, more delicious dreams.

YOU kept showing up, inspiring ideas and fueling my passion, so that I ended up stretching way beyond what I first imagined.

So.  Freakin’.  Happy.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And because I want to thank you with more than words, I’m inviting you to a 30 minute coaching session.

A gift from me to you. No strings, no agenda.

Just my deepest thanks for being here.

When I think of Jenny Bones I think. . .

• funny
• whipsmart
• full hearted
• wise, witchy woman

I am blessed to call her friend, colleague and partner in crime (of the s’mores variety!)

It was a few weeks ago that Jenny picked up the phone and began the conversation that has turned into our upcoming S’mores Summer Camp for Solopreneurs.

In those few weeks we’ve laughed, gotten shit done and created something of value without succumbing to the perfectionist lure of someday.

I love that she’s got the geniusy writing sass goin’ on right alongside the tarot card woo woo vibe. Doesn’t that make you want to find out more about her?

It’s extraordinary to work with someone who has both the creative ideas and the get-it-done energy. It takes huevos of a particular kind to throw your metaphorical hat over the wall and then go after it without a moment’s hesitation.

Jenny does that better than anyone I’ve ever worked with. Now do you see why you should join us at Summer Camp?

Jenny’s brand of shining is magical (not kidding about her being a witch!) and I’m thrilled that she’s here casting a spell. You’ve been warned

1.  Why are you here?

I believe I’m here because I’ve been willing to jump off a few cliffs in my day. I’m not sure where I’d be if I hadn’t jumped. Probably in a cubicle, complaining about the calorie count of the high-fat double-mocha latte I was sipping whilst silently dreaming of what life would be like if I were a writer.

2.  What is your future self calling for?

That I get this message through to as many people who need it:

You don’t need to continue to be confined by the past.

You don’t need to keep believing in the old fairy tales about yourself. You were, we all were, put here to simply be who you be. And we can only find out who we truly are by living in the present moment.

You don’t need to keep believing in the old fairy tales about yourself.

3.  How do you honour that calling?

I try to find a bazillion ways to express this message in my writing. When I work with clients as their marketing consultant, it is at the core of our work. I typically work with healers, trail blazers, artists and woosters (wooey folk. . .she says as if that explains it any further).

The world needs to hear their message, it is so thirsty for it. My goal is that my work, my marketing, my writing, everything I do through my business, provides them the flagstones they need to step up into their power.

4.  What is both effortless and life-giving to you?

Watching the birds fly around the trees outside my window. Cuddling with Adred the Magic Cat. Meditation. And sometimes, even writing.

5.  What do you do best?

GRARRR, this is a tough question. Not just because it’s an uncomfortable one (which it is) but also because it forces one to focus on the word “do.” What do I do best? What do I do? What do I. . .believe, feel, smell, hear? This is a slippery slope, this question.

And at the risk of slipping my way out of a direct answer, I think the truth is that what I do best varies from day to day. Some days I do copywriting better than anything else. Some days I do creative writing best. Other days it’s coming up with new ideas. Still other days, I do nothing best (usually one or two days around my moon, I definitely do nothing best).

But perhaps at the core of what I do best is giving other people permission to just be. We cannot be anyone we’re not and it’s so painful to even try. Yet, we are all guilty of trying from time to time. . .especially in the ways we market ourselves.

6.  What is extraordinary about your work?

When I work with clients, I am able to intuitively sense their blocks and help them move through them so they can begin to earn a living with their businesses. I teach them how to use their words to change their world, in every sense.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had the honor of seeing someone finally step into their own power, and how gratifying that is. Many people have been hiding behind a wall of fear and self-doubt, always putting off ’til tomorrow what they could have done yesterday. Watching my clients gently acknowledge their fears and then jump off that cliff anyway is an amazing, cathartic experience. I am humbled by my work.

This is why, just like you and I, “marketing” can no longer be defined by its past.

As micro business owners, or solopreneurs, we are not marketing a widget, we’re marketing our deepest selves. We cannot talk about things like “demographics” and “target markets” and get very far in this new arena. Spiritual growth, self exploration, getting so fucking honest in your writing that it stops your heart for a second or two. . .this is what marketing means to me.

7.  What is guaranteed to inspire you?

Watching someone do something they’ve never done before, but always wanted to. Any conversation that involves a lot of laughter. Also, babies’ toes.

8.  What will your epitaph say if you’ve lived life on your terms?

She had her share of warts and war wounds, even a stretch mark here and there, but she died knowing she was perfect, whole and complete just as she was. She now rests peacefully, at one, with her Source.

This time of year inevitably brings up spring cleaning plans of the physical space, both body and home. But that wasn’t enough for me and I began a month-long focus on spring cleaning from the inside out.

Including a detox of the mind.

de·tox

verb – to rid the body of poisonous substances

How do you know if your mind needs a detox? 

Notice how often you think negative thoughts (yes, these are poisonous substances.)

Notice how often you compare, criticize and complain.

With enough time, these ways of being become habitual and toxic, and left alone long enough they will become default; like running on auto-pilot. Which wouldn’t be so bad except this pilot does not have your well-being as a priority.

You may not realize how much that auto-pilot (aka: lizard brain) has taken over your thinking. You may not yet have connected that drained feeling you often experience to the thoughts you repeatedly think and the stories you live like the truth.

Mostly, you probably think if you just took better care of your body you’d have more energy. But it’s not that simple because you are a system, a trinity of mind, body and spirit and if one part is neglected it has an impact on the whole.

Just like the crap that accumulates in your body when you don’t take care of yourself, your mind gets bogged down by crap of another kind, and rather than pretend it’s not there, sweep it out and make room for something new.

So where do you begin this detox?

Grab paper and pen, and a quiet spot. Consider the following questions, and write down anything that comes to mind. Tell the mad critic in your head to take a nap and just write down whatever comes up.

What do you wish you’d never done?
What do you wish you could forget?
How do you punish or beat yourself up?
What do you wish you could do differently?
What actions have you taken that you now regret?

Notice and keep writing.

Breathe and keep writing.

Write it out as a list, don’t get too caught up in the story of it.

What’s your reason (the real reason) for hanging on to your old beliefs?

Let it all out. From your head through your fingertips, onto the paper.

It can be challenging to get this crap out of your head. Stay with it; you won’t die from discomfort.

And now that it’s been transferred to paper, you can begin to see it for what it really is.

Poisonous, toxic waste.

Clients tell me it usually seems so ridiculous once they see the crap on paper, and the stories begin to fall apart.

Keep that fresh clear space in your head free by using this exercise to continue adding to the list on that paper. The more you get these toxic thoughts and stories out of your head, the more space you create in your mind and the more you’ll cause a shift in your overall thinking.

Because here’s the truth. . .

“If you don’t take care of this the most magnificent machine that you will ever be given. . .where are you going to live?” – Karyn Calabrese

I’ll never forget the day I read the first email I received from Carol Hess, today’s spotlight. She’d just read the post I wrote after my father-in-law died and her message said, “I just read your Starbursts post. You scare the shit out of me. And that means I need to work with you.”

I sat at my desk moved to tears. Sharing the experience of my father-in-law’s sudden death was terrifying. Had I gone too far, my passion too intense? And then Carol’s email arrived.

It was confirmation that this message which had been there all along in my work was my core message, and it was suddenly so clear I could no longer ignore it. Carol would call this my Soul Story.

And that is her brilliance – calling forth your Soul Story. 

The fascinating aspect of this story is that in reaching out and asking for what she needed, Carol made a difference for both of us.

Her work is empowering, but it’s not that she has power to give you. No. It’s more like she pulls back the veil so you can see your own power and claim it. Then she’s right there beside you, not just talking but walking the path.

When I think of Carol, words like authenticity, integrity and courage come to mind. And she’s funny! So damn funny, when we talk there is much laughter of the out loud and snorting kind!

You can get a sense of this for yourself in her teleclass, “Your Soul Song: A Missing Piece of the Puzzle” on April 25th. Sign up here!

She understands the power of the lizard brain, having gone toe-to-toe with it many times and has come up fighting – and singing her soul song – each time! Thank God because she’s now clear and shining as bright as Sirius in the night sky, sharing her gifts with the world.

I am delighted to call her friend and have her here shining in the spotlight.

1.  Why am I here? 

For the same reason I think we’re all here – to be of service. In my case, I’m here to polish stars.

I remind people they’re stars, and I help them figure out what makes them shine and how to go about shining their own brilliant light. I love being a star polisher!

2.  What is your future self calling for?

To sink deeper into what I call my Soul Story. In other words, to surrender to my highest self and live from a deeper place of authenticity and self-empowerment so I can shine my most brilliant light and be of most service.

So I suppose my future self is calling for me to polish my own star, isn’t she?

3.  How do you honour that calling?

By honouring the whispers, nudges, and hints that come from that wise place we each have within us. By spending time every day getting still and quiet. By dropping the reins of control and surrendering. I struggle with that last one a lot!

4.  What is both effortless and life-giving to you?

Writing. Well, let me qualify that a bit. Writing is always life-giving to me. And it’s effortless most of the time but not always. Writing sees me through the tough times and helps me make sense of them. It tells me what I’m thinking and feeling.

It’s the best way I know for me to drop into my Soul Story and reveal my authentic self to the world. I can’t imagine my life without writing about that life. Maybe it’s how someone who lives alone like I do bears witness to her life. And sometimes it’s how I bear witness to other people’s lives.

5.  What do you do best? 

At the risk of sounding disingenuous, I’m going to say me. I do me and my life better than anyone else can do me and my life. That sounds rather obvious, doesn’t it? But there is no shortage of people telling us who we should and shouldn’t be, what we should and shouldn’t do, what our lives should and shouldn’t look like. The awful, dreaded shoulds and shouldn’ts.

But here’s the truth.

No one is an authority on us. No one knows better than we do our own Soul Story and how we want to live it. It’s our responsibility and nobody else’s to figure out who we are, why we’re here, and what we’re going to do about it.

6.  What is extraordinary about your work?

A wise man told me years ago that I was here this lifetime to learn that the true source of freedom lies in being of service.  I didn’t have a clue what he meant at the time. I just knew I didn’t much like that word service! These days, I’m beginning to understand what he meant.

What’s extraordinary about my work is its profound simplicity and power. I polish your star, and I show you how to polish it yourself. That simple act of service (simple if I don’t try to complicate it of course!) sets both of us free. It frees both of us to step into our brilliance and shine brightly. That’s pretty extraordinary, don’t you think?

7.  What is guaranteed to inspire you?

Authenticity. Integrity. The courage people display when they take center stage and declare, “Here I am, World. Here’s my power. Here’s my light.” It brings tears to my eyes.

8.  What would your epitaph say if you’ve lived life on your terms?

She let her light shine and inspired others to do the same.

According to Wikipedia, spring cleaning is the practice of thoroughly cleaning a house in the springtime. According to Martha Stewart, it’s a bit more detailed with a three page checklist celebrating the satisfying rite of the annual clean.

Once upon a time, I was enamoured of all things Martha. What? Don’t look so surprised!

But then I grew up and realized picture perfect cakes and anal-retentive holiday decorating was not my style.

So why am I talking about Martha?

Because underneath the surface of all that spit-and-polish, handmade, homemade OCD there are nuggets of wisdom to be found – kind of like finding that favourite shoe that’s been missing for months under the couch!

Her spring cleaning checklist suggests going through your home, room by room, with a detailed list of tasks. And while that’s all good, and I’m sure my home could use that kind of attention, my mind-body-spirit could use it even more, so that’s where my cleaning strategies and I are focused.

A new perspective on spring cleaning!

Spring Cleaning from the Inside Out

Mind / Office

One of the great things about working as a life coach is the opportunity to continually do my own inner work.

For me to give my best, I have to make sure this ‘room’ is spacious and clear. That doesn’t mean I have to be perfect and have everything handled, but that I regularly take a look at what’s working and not working in my own life and business.

Working with Jenny Bones in creating the Summer Camp for Solopreneurs has presented this kind of opportunity. As we’ve created the Camp’s curriculum, I’ve uncluttered my schedule to make time for more work I love, and am in the process of clearing physical space in my office.

While I’m amazed at what I get done with the stacks of books and materials around me, I also know I’m more productive and intuitive when my physical world is clean and clear. This creates room to move, and space to breathe and create.

Body / Kitchen

They say the kitchen is the heart of the home and growing up in Mediterranean family, food played a leading role in my life. One of my first memories is of sitting in my grandma’s kitchen waiting for fresh bread to come out of the oven.

Food was how we nourished our family, not just our bellies. We connected and worked things out over the dinner table, shared and celebrated major events. It’s how we showed we cared; food meant being with comfort and love.

This is a tough ‘room’ for me to clean because it does have such strong ties to memories and family. But the time has come for this ‘room’ to get some tough love of the self-care kind!

The body doesn’t lie and my body has been asking for the same kind of love and attention I give my mind, and spring is the perfect time to begin.

Say hello to a month-long detox and cleanse – the best kind of cleaning from the inside out. One of the tools I’m using to support this is my friend Farnoosh Brock’s upcoming Green Juicing Intensive Clinic. I’ve raved about Farnoosh’s work before (remember the Invigorator?) and am excited for this next adventure.

Spirit / Living Room

This IS my favourite room to tidy up and the best tool I’ve found to do so is a silent retreat.

But I’m super busy right now having just launched the Summer Camp for Solopreneurs, so a great alternative is to meditate more consistently.

I’ve just begun reading Tim Brownson’s guide to medition because I can never read enough about this profound practice. I’ve also received a copy of the Reawakening, a guided meditation program from Angela Artemis and Steve Aichison which I’ll be trying out. I am always on the look-out for products that align with my values; stay tuned for updates.

When this ‘room’ in my house is clean, my message is clear, and life seems lighter. Not like the challenges disappear, but rather I have the resources to handle anything that comes my way.

Now wisdom has it that the best results are produced when we take on just one habit at a time, and for the most part I agree. But I’m a bit of a rebel and right now, my intuition is telling me to strike while the iron is hot!

Over to you:

Join me! I want to hear about your challenges and what you’re taking on. If you’re a bit crazy like me, take on all three and let’s support each other. If not, choose one and get real with it.

Tell me in the comments and let’s get cleaning!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” - Maria Robinson