Develop Minds Blog

Feed Your Mind

Jonathan — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 18:00:06 +0000

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When you think of feeding someone or yourself, you automatically think food. Well that’s part of what I’ll be going over in this series. But there’s more to it than just the food you eat. You also consume things through your mind; and like food, these “things” not only affect the way you think and feel, but also the things you manifest into your physical being as well.

This article will focus on your brain, introducing you to foods that you can eat every day to help improve your ability to focus, your memory, and your overall brain health.

Because your brain is the “hardware” that powers your body and mind, it’s important to make sure it’s getting the proper nutrition to function, and function well.

Disclaimer: Remember, this article is meant for general guidance, and is no substitute for professional medical advice or attention. Simply put, your doctor knows about you and your personal needs better than I do, so if he/she says something that contradicts what I have to say here, by all means, listen to your doctor.

The Essentials

To put things simply, your brain cells must communicate for neural pathways to form—which is how you store memories, recall memories, learn, think, etc. Neurotransmitters—made from amino acids found in high protein food—are needed to carry these messages from neuron to neuron.

With that being said, your brain can’t operate without neurotransmitters, and it can’t operate effectively without getting the proper amount regularly. Want to become smarter, improve your mental function, and utilize the full potential of your mind (“Become a Brainwave Mind Master” is coming soon!)? Start with getting the proper daily intake of your neurotransmitters.

The three main neurotransmitters are: Acetylcholine (ACh), Dopamine, and Serotonin (5-HT).

You should aim to consume these foods throughout the day to ensure you are getting your neurotransmitters in for the day:

Acetylcholine Foods

Wheat germ
Egg Yolks
Vegetables (mainly broccoli, cabbage, and cauliflower)
Milk & Cheese
Meat and Fish

Dopamine Foods

Meat and Fish
Dairy Products
Soy Products
Nuts
Beans

Serotonin Foods (carb-based foods)

Starchy Vegetables
Pasta
Potatoes
Bread and Cereal

Very Important – Antioxidant Intake

Free radicals cause serious damage to your brain—especially over time, due to the fact that the composition of your brain makes it highly susceptible to free radical damage—causing your memory to decline, your thinking to slow, and your focus to sway. Antioxidants—usually associated with immune system health—are what fight off free radicals.

So just as antioxidants are important for a healthy immune system—helping your body fight off diseases and illness—they are also very important for proper and efficient brain function. It’s also nice to know that high antioxidant intake has been associated with a reduced risk of heart disease and cancer.

If you follow these three steps on a daily basis (all three), you’ll have plenty of antioxidants to keep your entire body (including your brain) very healthy:

Take a daily multivitamin supplement – You can find this at pretty much any department store, and will provide you with the basic amount of vitamins and minerals you need each day. Vitamin C and E are especially beneficial to your brain and nervous system.
Eat more fruits and vegetables – Fruits and vegetables are known for their antioxidant content, and are an essential part of a human diet; however, these days it’s becoming more and more common to have very little (or no) fruits and vegetables throughout the day. Eat 3-4 servings a day of both (look it up, it’s not as much as you might think).
Drink green, black, or white tea – This is very underrated, but probably one of the best ways to get an extremely high amount of antioxidants in for the day. Tea is known to have cancer-fighting properties, and can significantly contribute to your overall health if you drink a few cups throughout the day (on a regular basis).
What about the taste-factor? Many people want to drink tea, but can’t get used to the taste. I personally have a hard time drinking any of the teas mentioned (green, black, or white) unsweetened (though I’m trying to taper-off by using a little less per cup each week). Sugar isn’t good for you, and artificial sweeteners haven’t really been proven 100% safe, so what can you do? Use Stevia, a natural herb that is 200-300 times sweeter than sugar.

I personally recommend the NOW brand, which provides quality herbal products at a very inexpensive price. You can buy Stevia packets online from various brands, which will come in packaging similar to what you’re used to seeing artificial sweeteners in.

And that concludes this article! You learned about the importance of neurotransmitters and antioxidants for your brain health (and overall health), and the things you can do to ensure you are getting the proper intake for both.

I encourage you to subscribe to email updates if you want to follow this blog and stay updated with future articles.

Stress and Your Mind

Jonathan — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 13:46:36 +0000

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I’m almost certain that you’ve heard about how ugly of a monster stress can be, and maybe you’ve even read numerous articles on the “most effective” ways to deal with it, manage it, and ultimately overcome it. But how exactly does stress affect you and your mind, and is it all bad? Those are some of the questions this article will aim to answer, and I’ll also throw in some insight on the simplest stress-management technique there is.

Lots of Stress; Bad News

Stress can be caused by a number of different things, whether it’s worrying about an upcoming event or situation, an argument between you and someone else, fear, etc—whatever the case, I’m sure you know exactly when you’re stressing out too much.

The important thing to know is that too much stress can negatively affect every aspect of your health (physical, emotional, mental, etc). Just looking at things from a physical standpoint, too much stress can cause many side-effects to manifest into your life, to include (but not limited to):

diarrhea
fatigue
headache
constipation
heart problems
insomnia
decreased fertility
high blood pressure
neck/back pain
stomach cramping (or even bloating)
hives or rashes

There is even research which suggests that stress can actually cause cancer to manifest in one’s life. Whether that’s proven to be true or not, I think it’s best to air on the side of safety and start managing your stress levels now—especially if you consider yourself particularly bad at it.

From a mental and emotional standpoint, too much stress over an extended period of time (with too little, or without regular “relief”) can lead to lack of motivation, depression, feelings of apathy, lack of excitement, etc. Also, too much stress can actually weaken your brain cells, causing your memory and mental function to decline. I’m sure you can see how experiencing too much stress, and especially if it’s too often, can put a damper on your passions, the goals you’ve set out to accomplish, your relationships, your intelligence, etc.

Wow, stress really can be an ugly monster! But…

Not ALL Stress Is Bad For You

The Beta brainwave frequency range is where you experience stress, and that frequency range is also associated with physical coordination, mental strength, and extreme conscious focus. While you won’t be tapping into much of what your subconscious mind has stored, your current task at hand may actually benefit from being in a mild state of stress.

For example, just the right amount of stress can help you do better on an exam, or get a higher quality of work accomplished with that project you’ve been slaving away at. This “good” type of stress is also what helps you to stay sane and focused during those last-minute tasks you waited too long to get started on. When you are in a dangerous situation, stress and the associated adrenaline rush you experience can even save your life.

The problem is, most people experience too much stress as it is. The best thing to do is learn how to manage the “bad” stress, and you’ll be experiencing the “good” kind of stress exactly during the times you need to—automatically.

Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Etc.

A simple way to describe how many neurological disorders (such as Dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc.) work is that they kill a victim’s brain cells, slowly causing mental function to decline. Just as viruses attack weaker cells first (because they have a higher rate of success), these disorders target cells that have already been weakened by too much stress over the years.

If you know somebody who suffers from a neurological disorder such as Alzheimer’s or Dementia, you already know how much hardship it places on not only the victims, but their loved ones as well. And while stress may have not been the only “culprit” that caused the onset of the disorder, it may very well have been one of the main “accomplices” to it.

If that hasn’t opened your eyes to the negative long-term effects of having too much stress in your life, then I don’t know what will.

Stress Management Made Simple

In today’s world, there is virtually no way to NOT experience stress for most lifestyles out there—and for that reason, many people disregard stress management because…

“What’s the point if my situation and lifestyle is inevitably going to cause it?”

Stress management isn’t about stopping stress altogether, it’s about making an effort to intentionally stop stressing out every once in a while, and setting aside a portion of your day (no matter how big or small) to NOT stressing out or worrying about anything. Trust me, the long-term effects of including stress management techniques into your daily routine can work wonders in your life (your productivity, relationships, mental ability, emotions, physical well-being, etc—literally all aspects of your life will benefit from it.) So with that being said…

Take a break!

And while on that break, whether it’s a simple 15-minute breather or if it’s lunch time, make a personal vow to not think about any of the things that worry or stress you out.

Something that I personally used to be guilty of back in my days of employment was taking my break time to think about, or get my thoughts “on top of” all the things that I had been worried about. I thought this was helping me out, when in reality it was the absolute worst thing I could have done for myself.

When you’re on your break, you should TAKE A BREAK from your stressors, not revisit them! I think most people fall into this trap on their breaks (whether its a work break, or a break while you’re at home)—if that sounds like you, I highly recommend you stop… you have the rest of your day to think about all that “stuff”.

If it helps, you can think of your tolerance to stress as a battery. When you wake up, your battery is fully recharged—ready to tackle your day head-first, stressors and all. When you are stressing out, your “battery” is being drained rapidly. If you allow your battery to drain too low, too often (stressing out way too much) you start to damage yourself in the long-term (weaken brain cells, impair your memory, etc—things I mentioned earlier).

On the other hand, every moment you are NOT stressing out, your battery is being recharged rapidly… and breaks, being actual blocks of time where you are not stressing out (given that you are in fact NOT using your break time to stress out or worry), serve as GREAT metaphorical battery rechargers.

So if you take breaks often, you’ll most likely never have to worry about your battery draining too low, and will probably not suffer from the long-term side effects of too much stress (or even the short term side effects).

Stress Management on “Steroids”

Even better, if you meditate for at least 15 minutes each day (preferably 20-30 minutes if you can spare the time), you’ll not only have a set portion of your day dedicated to NOT worrying or stressing out (a battery “super-charger”), you’ll learn to better control your mind, emotions, and your stress levels during the most stressful parts of your day (outside of your normal break times). Please read my article I wrote in 2009 on how and why you should meditate (opens in a new window/tab).

By now, you should know that stress is not something that you should fear, but is something you should be mindful of. Learn to take breaks, and it may just allow you to live a longer, happier life.

Best of Develop Minds Blog 2009

Jonathan — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 03:42:29 +0000

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In light of the new year, I’ve decided to compile a short list of some of the most popular content here at Develop Minds Blog. This won’t be some of the lists you see on other blogs, where I take the opportunity to list as many posts as I can—creating just another archive for last year.

Below is a list of the top 10 posts here at Develop Minds Blog that made the most impact on people’s lives in 2009:

Please bookmark this post, share it, and most of all… enjoy!

Develop Minds Broadcast #1

Jonathan — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 18:49:19 +0000

January 3, 2010—I want to start taking the time to publish my progress here in the form of “Develop Minds Broadcast” posts, which will go out on Sundays—but not every Sunday (perhaps every second or third?). I want to do this to give everyone an update as far as the business side of this blog is concerned, as well as some personal updates here and there.

So without further ado, here’s Broadcast #1…

Business Happenings

Improving Your Life in 31 Days

Looking at Develop Minds from a business standpoint, it’s doing very well. December, which just passed, was probably my highest traffic month. I think part of that has to do with the 31 Day series I posted; while it wasn’t entirely 31 posts, it was definitely the most articles I’ve posted in a month so far since I launched this blog.

I’ve learned a few things while posting that series. First, that it takes an incredible amount of dedication and persistence to make as many blog posts as that, while still trying to maintain a decent level of quality. I did good by drafting out most of the article headlines before starting the series, but it was tough.

I really like the idea of linking articles together in a series, but I don’t think I’ll have a series made up of so many posts anymore, and they’ll be much further spread out (maybe even a week apart).

The best part is that the readers that have subscribed as a result of all the heavy posting I did are here to stay—so I learned posting a series, and posting very often is a great way to boost my subscriber count.

Product Line Revamp

Right now, if you visit my products page, you’ll notice three different products there. They are doing a pretty decent job of bringing in sales, but I never went through a formal launch process with either of them—and honestly, I’ve lost motivation in supporting the products listed there. I feel like I put a lot of hard work into them, but my whole heart wasn’t put into the products. I created them before I shifted direction of Develop Minds, and something about them just seem out of place here.

I’m not going to take the products I have there completely offline, but soon, I’ll be taking those products off of this website and anything else that’s related to this blog.

Why?

I’ve been hard at work on a product that I’m making highly relevant to the content on this blog—while providing content that’s not available here already. I’m going through a formal launch process, and so far everything’s working out great.

I’ve got the sales page nearly completed, and I’ve been completing about a chapter per day on the guide that comes with the product. I’m not going to divulge any specifics today, but I will soon (don’t worry, you’ll hear more about this product well before launch). Just know that I’m very excited about this product, and it’ll replace the current product line that’s available here right now.

Very soon I’ll be needing people to test the product out and give me some feedback (and possibly some testimonials if you like it) before the product is launched. I’ll be looking for you soon, but if you want to contact me instead, that’ll make my job a whole lot easier. Just remember, it won’t be a freebie giveaway if you’re selected to test the product out—you will get the full product as a pre-release tester, but you’ll be required to provide feedback in lieu of payment.

So if you’re interested in testing out my new product when it’s ready, once again, contact me and I’ll add you to my list of product testers.

Twitter, Oh Twitter

Last month was probably my most busiest month ever using Twitter, but somehow still don’t feel like it was enough. I’m still getting the hang of it, and plan on making better use of it, but am still struggling with remembering to post tweets throughout the day… and monitor it.

I’ll try harder with Twitter this month, so in the meantime, please follow me if you’re interested in this blog (you probably are if you made it this far in this post).

On a Personal Note…

Children’s Book Coming Soon

Yesterday I finished writing my first children’s book titled, “Cauldron Forest: The Dark Spell”. It’s a personal endeavor between my wife and I (she’s doing all the illustrations) that we are doing for our little girls (we have Emmy who is 2 right now, and Sara who will be born in April). This could obviously leak into the business aspect of things eventually if it gets a good response, but for now, it’s entirely for personal satisfaction.

I personally can’t wait to hold the hard-back, full-color physical copy in my hand—Biffy’s finishing up the illustrations and then we’ll go the self-publishing route once it’s complete. We’re not getting this first book an ISBN, we’re seeing how it turns out first. If we really like how it turns out, we’ll put a lot more time an effort into an actual ISBN published book next time around.

Sara Evelyn

The pregnancy is going great so far. Biffy’s taking it really well, and every doctor appointment has been very positive so far. It’s only about 2 and a half more months until she’s born (maybe less?) and neither of us can wait, we’re very anxious to welcome her into the world.

Well that concludes Broadcast #1, and should give you a pretty good picture of what I’ve been up to. As I mentioned in the post before this one, I have a lot in store for Develop Minds Blog and it’s going to be a busy year!

If you like it here, please consider subscribing to free email updates—thank you in advance.

Reflection

Jonathan — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 02:14:00 +0000

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This is the final post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

Due to the holidays, the last week of this series has been short, but there should be enough substance from the rest of the series to have kept you busy—and if you didn’t follow it, who says you can’t go to the beginning and start right away?

Anyway, this post is about reflection. Not just to reflect your progress in this series, and how well you kept up with it, but in light of the new year, it’s also about reflection for how the year 2009 has went for you.

Break Out That Journal One More Time

Going back to the journal I had you start in the first post of the series, I ask you to bring it out one last time (hopefully it won’t be the last time, but for this series anyway).

First, write about the experience you had with this series. What did you try out? What did you learn? What habits do you think you’d like to continue with? And which one’s don’t you think you want to take part in? Why?

Just brainstorm and take a moment to truly reflect your progress, IF you were following the series at all.

Your next course of action is for everyone, regardless if you decided to follow this “improving your life” series. Take a look back on the year 2009 and give yourself a short, informal review of how everything went. Did you keep up with your new years resolution you set? Do you even remember it?

Take a moment to recognize what you did well and be proud of yourself. Also, keep in mind where you were weak, and how you plan on improving in 2010… if you manage to keep writing in your journal throughout 2010, you’ll be able to keep track of your progress easier, rather than just going through the same exact reflection as you are today… next year.

On the Personal Side of Things

2009 has probably been the fastest year I’ve ever experienced. It went by in a heart-beat, and that’s mostly due to the fact that I’ve enjoyed it very much, and I have my family to thank for that.

Exactly one-year today (on December 31, 2008), I started this blog and honestly, it didn’t have much direction back then. A few months after it launched, I didn’t know exactly where I was going with it. I didn’t want to give up, however, I felt like I was forced to take a hiatus (while still leaving the content online) to restate my purpose for this website, and to learn a little more about blogging and how to better maintain one.

This website has been going strong since I came back from the hiatus months ago, mostly because I took the time to get more organized, and to make some adjustments to the layout, the content, and overall subject matter. I’ve been very motivated ever since and I’m pleased to say that my blog’s content has reflected that pretty well.

I have big plans for Develop Minds in 2010, so keep an eye out.

In fact, I’m preparing to stop supporting my current product line and will in the next few months take part in the biggest product launch that I’ve ever done. It’ll be a product that I put all my effort into, and that I’ll be extremely proud to stand behind—I think it will do very well. More info on that as the time gets closer, so stay tuned if you’re at all interested in finding out what I’m talking about.

Also, sometime around late March or early April 2010 I’ll be the father of two as my little Sara Evelyn will finally be born! So in 2010 I’ll be learning a tremendous amount more about being a father, which is an area that any parent could improve in.

I’m sure that being a parent of two little girls will be much different than being the father of just one, and there will undoubtedly be many challenges ahead, but I’m staying positive and welcoming these new challenges with open arms. I’m very excited, and so is Biffy… we both can’t wait until she is born. We’re also very thankful that the pregnancy is going extremely well.

Overall I’m very excited about the year 2010, both from a personal AND business perspective… and I hope you stick with me here as a subscriber through it all! Next year I’ll give myself a more formal review, to cover both my personal goals and my business goals for 2010.

Anyway, I’m about to go enjoy the rest of New Years Eve. Good luck to YOU in 2010, and have a Happy New Year!

Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday to the Develop Minds Blog!

Give Unexpectedly

Jonathan — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 13:00:26 +0000

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This is the twenty-fifth post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

Merry Christmas! (for those who celebrate)

With it being Christmas, for those of us who celebrate it, we’re used to exchanging gifts with others. Most of the people who we give gifts to, however, are most likely expecting to receive a gift from you (such as close friends or family members).

Today’s challenge is to give to someone unexpectedly, which may be a huge challenge, but it can be done. Buy a gift, a gift card, or simply make something for someone. It doesn’t even have to be someone you know—you can drive around and find someone who is homeless and give something to them.

When you give without expecting anything in return, it makes you feel good, and it’s easy to be grateful for the things that you have… and gratitude is a great attitude to have, and has helped many people improve their lives significantly (if you don’t believe me, do a search on the internet for ‘gratitude’).

Also, if you’re not used to giving unexpectedly, and especially if you’re not used to giving to strangers, today’s “exercise” can even help you build courage!

Anyway, have a great holiday, and stay tuned for the rest of the (short) posts in this series!

No related posts.

Dedicate Today to Your Loved Ones

Jonathan — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:00:00 +0000

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This is the twenty-fourth post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

While obviously you may have work and/or other responsibilities that have to be taken care of today, today’s challenge is to spend as much time as possible with your loved ones. If anything can possibly be put off until tomorrow, or if you have something you’re working on that isn’t urgent, use that time and dedicate your time to your loved ones.

I personally have a lot of projects I work on, and it takes up a lot of my time; however, every so often I take a day to take a break and don’t touch any of it. I take that time and spend it with my wife and daughter (and come next April there will be another “daughter” in the family).

And although mine and my wife’s lifestyle allows us way more time together than most people, the days we dedicate to each other and our family still always turn out great, and they give us a great “refresher” to help tackle our current challenges in life.

Life’s too short, don’t let it pass you by without you spending as much time as possible with those who make life worth living.

Improving Your Life in 31 Days

Plant Some Positive Affirmations

Jonathan — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:00:00 +0000

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This is the twenty-third post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

This is going to be yet another short, simple post to make things easier for those following the series through the holidays, and to allow you to focus on implementing the things that have been discussed in the series so far. The last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed and not apply any of it to your life!

Today’s course of action involves “planting” positive affirmation seeds in convenient locations, to give your subconscious (and conscious) mind positive suggestions throughout the day.

So think of something you truly want, then come up with a list of positive affirmations and place them in places such as your wallet, your desktop wallpaper on your computer, on your vision board, on a sticky note, etc.

Whenever you come across one of your positive affirmations, take the time to read it to yourself and think positively about it. Avoid negative thoughts, such as doubt.

Please read the following articles for more information on positive affirmations (what they are, how to get them to work, etc.):

Challenge Your Pride: Be More Honest With Yourself

Jonathan — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:00:00 +0000

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This is the twenty-second post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

The holidays are approaching fast, and because of that, the rest of this series will come in shorter posts, where the course of action will be a simple tip you can apply for the day, but will still contribute to improving your life.

Also, there has been a lot discussed in the series so far, so it would be very difficult to apply those things, and to instill new habits if you are learning something BIG each day. Take the rest of the time with this series to reflect on the previous articles, the advice that was given, and what you can take away from it and start applying to your regular routine even past the 31 day mark of this series.

Today I challenge you to learn to be more honest with yourself. Read my article on being more honest with yourself and see if you can apply any of it to your life today, who knows, maybe it’ll make a big difference. I think with all the conditioning we go through, be it socially, or through the media, it’s hard to be truly honest with ourselves.

With that being said, the exercise mentioned in the article I mentioned should be good for you nonetheless.

Live Consciously and Unconventionally: Be Honest With Yourself

Learn to Forgive

Jonathan — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Note: There is an email link embedded within this post, please visit this post to email it.

This is the twenty-first post in the “Improving Your Life in 31 Days” series. For more information, and to view an index of all the posts in this series, please click here to go to the central page.

“To err is human; to forgive is divine.” —Alexander Pope

Have you ever felt like you’ve been wronged? I’m not talking about someone cutting you off on the highway, I mean truly wronged, where you were hurt in some way (physically or emotionally). I’m sure you have, after all, it’s just a part of life—especially with a species so intelligent and diverse as us humans.

However, when you are in a situation where you are on the “victim” side of the spectrum, you have two paths to choose from:

You can hold a grudge and embrace your anger along with all the other negative emotions that come with it.
Or, you can learn to forgive and move on with your life.

So which option should you take? Sure it’s easy to predict based on a couple factors that I’ll tell you to go with the second option. One factor being that this is a personal development blog which focuses on living life positively, and another factor being that the title of this article has the word “forgive” in it.

However, it wouldn’t be right of me to just tell you that you should forgive someone without fully convincing you why…

Think back to a time where you were only mildly angered about something, such as being cut off on the highway without being forewarned with a turn signal beforehand. The person who cut you off not only had complete disregard for your position in traffic, but their sloppy driving habits could have caused a fatal accident.

Needless to say, that type of thing happens all the time and causes lots of “road rage” because those who are being cut off truly feel like they have been wronged.

But how does this situation normally play out? You get cut off, you experience a tremendous amount of anger (depending on how well you manage your road rage), and then over the course of the day your anger subsides and you slowly forget about the situation.

In fact, you forget the situation so much that your subconscious doesn’t even hold onto the grudge. It’s as if over a short period of time you actually forgave that person for risking your life. And then, something magical happens.

Once you have “forgiven” them, you no longer experience any negative emotions from the situation, and you continue living your life happily. You stop dwelling on what that person had done to you, and you stop wasting your energy holding a grudge against them.

Of course, you most likely didn’t know the person who cut you off, so it’s easy to forget about it, and automatically forgive them. But it’s a much different ball-game when it’s someone you know, and especially if it’s someone you love who did you wrong.

But if you apply the same logic to a situation where you have been wronged by someone you care about, it’s easy to see how it’s much more desirable to forgive someone. There is literally no benefits to holding a grudge, or refusing to forgive someone (even if they don’t apologize or ask for forgiveness).

Stop Holding Grudges

Aside from the obvious reasons why you shouldn’t hold grudges, I’ve listed some of the “side-effects” that grudges can afflict on you:

Holding grudges can leave you feeling tired, lethargic, and fatigued.
Does envy, malice, bitterness, and slander sound like desirable traits to you? Those negative “qualities” are exactly what you’ll get on the path where grudge-holding leads you.
Holding grudges will not only prohibit you from moving forward with your life, it actually takes you backwards (and I’m not talking about getting younger!)
The negative emotions that come packaged with holding a grudge will cause an emotional imbalance which can actually affect your physical health!

I think back to watching the children’s movie, Meet the Robinsons, and I remember [spoiler] the part where grown up “Goob” was talking to the younger version of himself, telling him not to let go of his anger, to let it “fester and boil” inside of him.

If you’ve seen the movie, would you like to end up more like the highly successful, happily married grown-up Lewis, or like the seemingly psychotic, dark, and unhappy grown-up version of Goob?

Just the name of the so-called villain in that movie makes me not want to hold a grudge!

Why Should You Forgive?

I’m not talking about just forgetting about the situation and holding a subconscious grudge (that’s still a grudge). I’m talking about actually being able to tell yourself (or the person who did you wrong) that you fully forgive them for what that they did to you.

So aside from avoiding the side effects of grudge-holding, are there any actual benefits to forgiveness? Why yes, there are…

You can finally move forward with your life and stop wasting time and energy (or even subconscious energy) towards being angry, or resentful of someone else.
You can use the time, energy, and mental “space” you were using to hold a negative grudge on more positive emotions.
Forgiveness builds character, and can even make you a better person if you exercise it (see the quote at the beginning of this article).
Forgiveness can help keep your heart healthy by lowering blood pressure and reducing unnecessary stress.
Forgiveness can help you overcome anxiety, depression, and of course tension to related situations.

Being Taken Advantage Of…

One of the main reasons why it’s hard to forgive someone, even after the initial anger blows over, is if they are a repeat offender, they aren’t sorry, and/or you know they’ll wrong you again.

When you forgive someone, especially if they never apologize, it undoubtedly takes a great deal of strength from you. Therefore, it becomes very easy to feel like you’re being taken advantage of when someone continues to do you wrong, especially if you continue to forgive them time and time again.

Unfortunately the best thing for you to do in this situation is to continue to forgive them; however, don’t allow yourself to get walked all over. You can be forgiving and stern at the same time. Forgive the person, but don’t allow them the opportunity to do the same thing to you.

For example, if you lent someone one of your belongings and they never return it, even after being reminded multiple times, you can forgive them without ever letting them borrow anything from you again.

Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to take away the natural consequences that come along with what they have done. If someone did you wrong and was put in prison, you could forgive them, but it doesn’t mean they should be released before their sentence is complete. Their prison sentence is the natural consequence of the wrong that they have done in that particular situation.

If things go too far, however, the only way you can exercise forgiveness without getting walked on is to be assertive, which may require a certain degree of courage.

Forgiving Yourself

All this forgiveness vs. holding a grudge talk doesn’t just apply externally to those who have wronged you, but for the things you personally feel guilty about. Particularly if you have a low self-image, or don’t respect yourself very much, forgiving yourself may actually be the hardest thing to do… but everything that I’ve spoke of up to this point still applies.

Instead of hating yourself, or holding a grudge against yourself for failing in a particular situation, even if it caused you shame and guilt, recognize that instead of troubling yourself with past failures that you cannot change, take them as opportunities to grow.

Your failures are the brightest beacons for the areas you can improve, so it’s actually a good thing that they stand out. If the software I use to write my blog articles didn’t put a squiggly red line under the words I misspelled, I’d only catch half of them!

Just as my misspelled words stand out on my screen so I can recognize changes I need to make, take your failures as the “misspelled words” in your life that need to be fixed.

So go forgive yourself and start working on correcting the areas of your life that need to be improved.

Today’s Course of Action

If you’re holding a grudge, or even an underlying subconscious grudge, take steps towards breaking it… and don’t stop until you’re able to find forgiveness in your own heart. You won’t regret it.