dLife - Highs & Lows

Going Through Some Changes

Lindsey Guerin — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 16:10:41 +0000

It feels like every time I turn around I'm dealing with another major life event or change. Life has been so unstable in the last two years from making career decisions, living so far from family, and working through a committed relationship. I'm about a month away from my 24th birthday and I feel like my life is defined by major transitions.

It makes me wonder when I will be stable. The moment I feel like everything is falling into place is the exact moment that everything seems to explode again. I know that I'm being a bit cryptic here, but I am dealing with some major decisions and changes at the moment that I'm not quite ready to talk about yet. Mainly because I'm not sure I can type the words without crying my eyes out.

Anticipation and Trepidation

Brenda Bell — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 17:59:53 +0000

Tomorrow, The Other Half and I will be attending our friends' son's Bar Mitzvah. It will be the first time I will be in an Orthodox synagogue or congregation on Shabbat since diagnosis.

Many Jews take the precept of Shabbat (Shabbos, Sabbath) as a day of rest quite seriously — Orthodox Jews in particular. The custom is to not drive, to not turn light switches on or off, to not turn the stove, oven, or microwave on or off or to change their heat settings, and to not carry anything outside the home. This practice is known as Shomer Shabbat, and extends to Jewish holidays and certain festival days.

Forced Entry

Carey Potash — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 18:47:29 +0000

Last night sucked. It reminded me of the early days when one of us had to hold Charlie down while the other squeezed his mouth open and forced him to drink apple juice in the middle of the night.

I'll never forget the way he clenched his teeth as a baby and turned his head from side to side defiantly as we begged him to let us give him juice. "You have to drink!" we begged. "Please!!!"

But, yes, last night sucked. I tried to hold his arms down but he was so squirmy - and shockingly strong. I tried to swaddle him, but his bony arms kept popping free. I squeezed the outside of his jaw, trying to get him to dislodge his lips and open his mouth nice and wide.

I wanted to just give up. It was too stressful. He kept resisting and resisting. He was being completely uncooperative and unreasonable.

S-A-F-E-T-Y

Carey Potash — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 18:40:47 +0000

When I was a kid, the most danger I would encounter at a friend's birthday party was the occasional tumble while roller skating to Grandmaster Melle Mel's cocaine-laced single "White Lines." Or ironically, "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. You young ones may have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.

At the time, I think I thought "White Lines" was a reference to a football field or the lines separating lanes on highways. So young. So naïve. Hair so spiked.

Or we had some good old fashioned fun at a place called Farrell's - a zany ice cream parlor filled with giant rainbow-twirled suckers, banana splits, waiters in red-striped shirts and straw boater's hats and self-playing pianos. What I don't recall at either the roller skating rink or the old fashioned ice cream parlor was being shot at.

Wingin' It

Carey Potash — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 17:37:26 +0000

I really don't enjoy "wingin' it" with my son's life.

Charlie had his first game yesterday with his new ice hockey team - the Grizzlies. Participating in travel hockey for the first time, I am quickly discovering that each and every rink we visit will present different obstacles in my ability to communicate with him.

Yesterday I sat high above bleachers - behind glass and netting. Charlie and his Grizzlies were on a bench on the other side of the ice - roughly 100 feet away from me. On our home ice, I could at least have the ability to hover over him and motion to him or even get so close that I can read the number flashing on his meter after he tested his blood sugar. In this rink, I felt powerless.

Shhhh! It's a Secret

Carey Potash — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 16:05:25 +0000

Shhhh! You can't tell anyone this. I'm only telling you this because we've become such close friends. Because I trust you.

Charlie's blood sugars have been ... kinda ...

GOOD!!!!!!

Good for like a really, really long stretch. So good that our perspective has changed. If I ask Susanne how Charlie's sugars were in a given day, she might say, "good all day but high at dinner." By high she might mean around 200 or 220. During worse times, high might mean 350-400. I can live with that.

We're in a good spot with blood sugars and I don't want it to end. Charlie hasn't had his first cold of the school year yet and with that comes horrific blood sugars. For now, I just want to ride this as long as possible. I want to run out and get his A1c checked immediately just to see a never before seen number.

Brighter

Carey Potash — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:47:01 +0000

"It's weird," Charlie said, raking his fingers through his wet, black hair and then taking a giant swig of water.

"After I had the juice box, everything just looked brighter out on the ice."

Despite my many attempts to get it right so that Charlie does not have his ice hockey interrupted by low blood sugars, it's almost inevitable that I see him skating over to the bench with the thumbs down hand gesture. I rise from my seat and look down at him like a mother bird while he unzips the black case and pricks his finger.

The first image I thought of when he said the bit about his vision was my laptop computer; how the screen brightens when plugged in.

"Yeah, that's weird," I said.

S'lichot for People With Diabetes

Brenda Bell — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 03:52:05 +0000

In the days leading up to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, there is a custom amongst Orthodox Jewish men to gather at midnight to say an additional set of prayers, called Slichot, in which they call upon G-d's mercy in the days leading up to the "Days of Awe", that He might judge us more favorably, more mercifully, when He inscribes all people in either the Book of Life or the Book of Death for the coming year.

Life Stressors

Lindsey Guerin — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 19:45:54 +0000

Life is way too busy and I don't know how to slow it down. I finally made my next endo appointment for October 15 so, as usual, my focus is getting back on track. But I'm finding that life just keeps getting in the way. I don't even have time or energy to exercise lately, which is really taking a toll on my stress and my blood sugars. Right now, my 90 day blood sugar average is 179. That puts me at an expected 8.0% A1c.

In June, my A1c was 7.3%. I was thrilled to see this number and hopeful that I could keep it in the 7's and aim for an even 7.0% next. Needless to say, that hasn't happened at all. I've only gone backwards. But what changed between June and September to warrant the jump?

Moments

Carey Potash — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 14:31:32 +0000

Some people may think they know a bit about diabetes because they went to high school with a girl who had diabetes or because there's a kid with diabetes in their son's Boy Scout troop.

To observe diabetes on an intimate level, however, you sometimes see things in a different light. Having a child with diabetes, we see how this chronic disease affects him in every way. We see how it attacks him physically and how it has harms him psychologically.

A few nights ago, Charlie was scared about something. Maybe some sounds he heard in his room. When I came upstairs to go to bed, I found him sleeping in my bed.

I gave him a little tap on his thigh.

"Come on, Charlie. Let's get you back into your bed."

Charlie didn't budge.

So I leaned in closer and touched his cheek.