Michelle Kowalski's blog

Educating

Michelle Kowalski — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:34:03 +0000

I was standing outside the other day talking with my neighbor. She was sitting in a chair and I was leaning against her car. Our kids were running around burning off energy before they had to settle in for the night.

We are at a point in the season here in Phoenix where the temperatures are hot during the day (in the low 100s) but nice enough in the evenings where you can sit outside and not feel like you're melting. Since I don't wear a watch (who needs to between my pump and my phone having clocks) I reached for my waistband, pressed "OK" on my pump to show the home screen (which has the clock) and saw that it was about time for my rugrats to go inside.

"What do you have there?" A asked. "What is that?"

"It's an insulin pump," I said as I unraveled the tubing from my waistband. "See my tether?"

The Mole

Michelle Kowalski — Tue, 08 May 2012 17:32:37 +0000

No. 1 has had a mole on his lower back -- right on his pants line -- for as long as I can remember. It started as a freckle and gradually got bigger. Like the size of a nickle big.

A couple years ago we took him to a dermatologist to see if we should be concerned about it and/or if there's anything we should do about it. It didn't look suspicious and the doctor said the only reason to take it off would be if it was bothering him. As she described the procedure to take it off the blood drained from No. 1's face. He was totally not interested.

My Little Boy is Growinig Up

Michelle Kowalski — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 05:12:33 +0000

I bought No. 1 a nice, button-down shirt this winter so he could wear it to church and also as an option for some family photos I was taking. He was so not interested in wearing it. He indulged me several times and wore it to church, but he wasn't happy about it.

The other day he wore it to school. It was quite a change from his normal t-shirt and camo shorts. Mis-matched, of course. Well, I guess camo is like black -- it goes with everything. The next day he wore another nice, button-down shirt that I bought him at some point. I'm thinking it was the one he wore to my brother's wedding nearly 18 months ago. He wore that probably only once, as well.

He came home from school and said his friends had asked him why he was dressing so "nice" lately. Then he asked me to take him shopping for some more button-down shirts. I was happy to oblige.

Touch

Michelle Kowalski — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 05:17:19 +0000

I started watching a new show on Fox called Touch. It stars Keifer Sutherland as the father of a child who is described as special needs. The kid doesn't talk, can't be touched and essentially doesn't communicate. Kiefer accidentally discovers that his son is "speaking" to him through numbers. These numbers are a road map for essentially helping people or bringing them together. It's almost as if the kid is clairvoyant.

Data Driven

Michelle Kowalski — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:45:32 +0000

So yesterday I got the software needed to download my pump. This morning I dug in to the package ready to download. By the way, the user guide for this software is 110 pages! That's crazy.

After a hiccup or two I got it all figured out (I tried not to compare it to Medtronic's Carelink where you simply plug in a special USB drive that looks like a flash drive and upload it to Medtronic's Carelink website where you can easily share your username and password to share the info with your doctor).

I Hate Going to the Endo

Michelle Kowalski — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 22:22:14 +0000

I know I shouldn't, but I do. I know it should be a time that's full of helpful information, but I don't think it is. I think the only thing I really get out of my endo appointments is knowing my A1C.

I always feel like I'm on the defensive. Sometimes I just want to scream HAVE YOU EVER LIVED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE WITH THIS WRETCHED DISEASE? HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED A LOW BLOOD SUGAR? NO? THEN SHUT YOUR FACE.

I was particularly feisty this morning for some reason. What do they really expect us to say when they ask "How are your blood sugars doing?" I always say "They vary." Because, really, what diabetics blood sugars *don't* vary? There was only one time period in my life when I could say my sugars were always -- yes always -- in range and that's when I was pregnant with No. 3. I was a model patient.

Traveling With Diabetes

Michelle Kowalski — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 04:14:32 +0000

“So here’s the deal,” my mom said in an email. “Dad and the boys go on trips all the time. It’s about time we had a girls weekend. Where do you want to go?”

I had the country at my fingertips. San Diego? Denver? Seattle? (We wanted somewhere fairly close so we didn’t have to spend an entire day on an airplane.) We decided on San Francisco. The land of hills and cable cars and Rice-a-Roni.

Our original trip was planned for late January. When Mom called to schedule a city tour we found out rain was forecast for that weekend. So we rescheduled. And it’s a good thing we did because it did indeed rain that whole weekend. And it was in the 50s. Rain + cold does not make for a fun weekend if you’re visiting a city you’ve never been to. Rain + cold if you want to sit by the fire in your PJs all weekend is perfect.

Missing

Michelle Kowalski — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 22:50:14 +0000

Sitting in the airport in Phoenix I “checked in” on Facebook: “Going home. Yes, I still consider St. Louis home.”

I smelled the humidity as soon as I stepped off the plane. It was familiar, almost comforting.

Mom and I went straight to my brother’s house. His street is tree-lined and full of diverse houses made of brick with grass yards. Such a difference from Phoenix where most houses are stucco, “yards” are full of rocks and tall trees are scarce. Driving north from Phoenix, to higher elevations, when things start to turn from brown to green and cacti disappear, it feels like home.

The windows in my brother’s house were open, letting in the cool, humid evening air. The hardwood floors creaked as I walked on them. Every house I lived in in Missouri had hardwood floors that creaked and moaned. It sounded like home.

Vision

Michelle Kowalski — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 05:15:45 +0000

On Christmas Eve I met with a family for a photo shoot. The patriarch of this family that was only together for a brief time before running back to their own corners of the country had found what he thought was a good spot for a photo shoot. A park. With hills, dead grass and basically no inspiration.

“I think we’ll use this space here,” I said.

“Well, you’re the artist,” he said.

The artist. Oh shit. I had never thought of myself as an artist.

The One With a Bunch of Parentheticals

Michelle Kowalski — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 04:51:30 +0000

“This is my second low of the day,” I said to The Mr. as I gingerly at a mini-chocolate-covered graham cracker. (Yes, I had a juice box first.)

“Is that bad?” No. 1 asked.

“It just sucks all the energy out of you and makes you want to sleep,” The Mr. explained. (And he would know. He has experienced hypoglycemia since his gastric bypass surgery in 2010.)

I ate another cookie.

Now here’s the part that will make my male readers want to stop. I don’t know what it is about Aunt Flo that makes my blood sugar drop, but she surely does a number on me. I can count on several days of beyond incredible blood sugar readings during her visit.