Nicole Purcell's blog

Cleanse and Intentions

Nicole Purcell — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 19:35:04 +0000

So, I wanted to start this new year off right - and although it had a rumbly beginning, I think that things will work out in the end. Eternal optimism - sometimes my best friend, sometimes my worst enemy.

Stop Assuming

Nicole Purcell — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 05:17:49 +0000

I really wish people would stop assuming. Diabetes is a loaded disease - filled with not just physical and mental challenges, but the often misguided impressions of the general public. Including many people living with diabetes themselves.

I was at breakfast this morning with a good friend. On my plate sat two eggs, some bacon and fruit. My friend is a slightly overweight woman, she had two eggs,some bacon and fruit. We also had a plate of has we were sharing.

The waitress that was serving us when we came in went home about halfway through our meal and was replaced by an older woman - perhaps in her mid-fifties. She came to the table, let us know our waitress had gone home for the day then asked if we needed anything. "Maybe some orange juice?" she offered.

My friend and I both laughed as she said, "We've got a diabetic here!"

The Origins of Mood

Nicole Purcell — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 22:22:10 +0000

I snap at her. And my mother tells me to test my bloodsugar. The irritation rises in my throat like a bubble in the tapped insulin syringe. She says it again - come on now test. And that last tap on my plastic casing causes the outburst.

"I'm not going to test because I'm fine and I just want to be left alone." It is said with a seething amount of bile, dripping with anger and something else...

Years of resentment? Not against my mother but against our shared diabetes burdens. Independence? It's been 30 years, I KNOW how I FEEL. Something else.

Except that I test and my bloodsugar is through the roof. Over 300 mg/dl. And I didn't even realize it. Wasn't thirsty or extra hungry, didn't have that blurry vision that often accompanies a high sugar. Just had no idea at all something was up.

Back To It

Nicole Purcell — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 00:32:41 +0000

There have been some key factors in my journey to better health and fitness over the past several years. Exercise chief among them. The past month, I have to admit, I've gotten about as far off track on the work out front as I've been in years - managing only one gym visit a week (if that). I'm frustrated with myself, because I think I just sort of burned out of working out. I suppose that's bound to happen, given that it's been six or seven years with decent consistency. I've blogged about being off track before, but it has never been as challenging as it is right now to get myself to the gym.

Lion Taming

Nicole Purcell — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 16:17:21 +0000

Name: Nicole

Occupation: Lion Tamer

Living with diabetes is being a lion tamer.

A lion is a wild animal with 3-inch claws and a mouth that opens up to one and half feet. A lion's jaws can easily crush a bull's spine. Not something you want to encouter in a dark alley.

Diabetes is a wild animal with life-altering claws that dig in when you're least expecting it and a mouth that opens up and eats a lot of the spontaneity from life. Diabetes' jaws can easily crush a person's spirit. Not something you want to encounter in dark alley.

Dear TV Dudes....

Nicole Purcell — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 16:31:40 +0000

Dear TV Dudes,

Stop making people think I'm fat and lazy and addicted to cake. Your portrayals of diabetes aren't just inaccurate, they're hurtful. That is all.

Except, I think it would be fantastic if you came up with a reality television show. Called CHRONIC.

Clearly, I have a bias toward the diabetic on the show - who would be joined by an epileptic, a hypertensive, an asthmatic, and a Chron-ey? - all living in an apartment in New York City. Not competing for anything, these folks would be like Real World meets Grey's Anatomy.

Epic "Fail" Redeemed...

Nicole Purcell — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 15:47:14 +0000

Oh boy. You ever do something really stupid? And the minute you finish doing the stupid thing, you realize what you've done and think "Oh (insert appropriate curse here), how did I do that?" That's what happened to me on Sunday evening.

My usual course for nighttime insulin goes like this: Eat dinner at around 7:30 - bolus for food before meal, give basal dose of lantus just after dinner at 8:30 or so. Sunday, dinner ran late and for some reason I still can't explain, I gave the bolus and basal doses just prior to my food. And then, for some reason (I still can't explain), I gave the basal dose afterward too. DOH! Big, major DOH!

Storm Prep

Nicole Purcell — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 00:08:49 +0000

Apparently there is a big storm coming this way! Winds, flooding... All that.

So I went to the grocery store today. I got some bottled water, some gluten free bread, some pre-prepped tuna, peanut butter, jelly, juice boxes.

I also went to the pharmacy. Got some extra insulin, glucose tabs.

Now I'm waiting for things to start happening.

I feel like I've been down this path before though. The only thing I really worry about ever is making sure I've got a few things that I can use to treat lows and a couple days worth of protein and carbs that I could eat at every meal.

Storms never seem to amount to much though, or so it seems. Last "hurricane" we never even had a little blip in power.

Everything Old is New Again

Nicole Purcell — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 17:36:33 +0000

So this is the weekend I dive back into pumping. I've decided that I really need to get some focus and change usually does that for me when it comes to diabetes.

I've been giving shots since May - 4-6 a day (each time I eat, one shot of Lantus at night and correction boluses as needed). I've found that I love being disconnected from the cyborg part that is my insulin pump, but my control is definitely not as tight. There are decidedly more inexplicable high bloodsugars with multiple daily injections and as I've written in the past, because of difficulties in measuring bolus doses with a syringe, it's challenging to get that dosing down pat.

Frienemy...

Nicole Purcell — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 15:20:55 +0000

This has been a difficult week. An old friend of mine passed away. For a myriad of reasons, her death has me thinking of my own struggles with food and weight. Really thinking.

Food has always been a sort of frien-emy in my world. I love good food. I love the textures and tastes and smells, I even like the way food sounds. But - and this is a very big BUT (no pun intended) - I have battled for many years with over-eating, under-eating and balancing food against insulin, exercise, and weight. Though I am currently at a healthy weight and have maintained that weight for many years, I can remember times when I felt simply tortured by my own body - when I felt sluggish from being underweight or overweight. I can remember times when I felt tortured by my desire to eat everything in site or my desire to go days on end without food.