Diana & Alan's Wedding Blogarama

You know what else?

2010-09-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

I ask Alan to tell me if my outfit works every morning. And I think he's usually truthful.

This makes it easy when we go shopping (like on Saturday) and I ask him if he likes something I'm thinking about buying. It means he can say something like, "it looks like it was made for you." And then I buy it! And he is happy for me!

I do the same for him, when he asks (he does not ask as often as I do). And I'll often buy him something--usually a sweater, usually when I'm on an errand that takes me by Banana Republic--without consulting him first. So far, he's liked it all. Because it all looks like him!

On Marriage

2010-09-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

What a lofty title, eh? But I couldn't think of anything else; this post is, after all, about marriage. By and large, nothing's really changed now that we're Married. That's how people say it, when one is newly wed: Married. "Oh--you're Married?" "Did you hear? She's Married!" "How's Married life?" And briefly, one identifies as Married (note the capital M). But after a week or two, it wears off (to me, anyway) and one is just...married. Our life is basically the same, except we're no longer burdened with planning and executing a wedding. Wheee! We've spent more time together the past couple weeks than the several months leading up to the wedding: neither of us has had a show, we've both had regular work schedules, and we got to take a whole week of vacation!

There are little differences, of course. We purged a lot of stuff to make room for new stuff (our towels have never been so nice!). We took time to really clean the house and deck a few weeks ago, after spot cleaning here and there for months. We talk about buying a house--should we or shouldn't we, if we do then where, what our theoretical budget might be. We talk about trying to move to a bigger place since ours is so very tiny, and we might try to go month-to-month on our lease next year for more flexibility. Our wedding checklist is shortly going to be erased and turned into a travel checklist.

Does Alan still do things that annoy me? Yep. Do I still do things that annoy him? Oh yeah! Husband and wife are just parts of who we are, the titles don't define us anymore than when we were boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance/fiancee.

Mostly, we're just relieved to be married. Little m.

While My Uke Gently Weeps

2010-07-29T18:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of friends will be playing the Ukulele at our wedding. They will not be playing this song. I think they would have had heart attacks had we asked them to:

Wedding Shorts

2010-07-22T18:00:00.000-07:00

We've started getting gifts! It's so much fun. As I was saying to one of my attendant's:

It's so neat! We asked for it, and we got it! It's like delayed shopping without having to pay for it. So really, it's more like delayed shop-lifting without the risk of imprisonment.

**

We picked up our marriage license from Alameda County this morning. We're all set! We were the first one's in line when they opened. Lots of people were there for the same thing. We got a handy little booklet from the State of California called "Your Future Together: Health Information You Need to Know" with information on the Name Equality Act of 2007, Living a Healthy Lifestyle, Domestic Violence, HIV/AIDS, Planning a Family, and During and After Pregnancy. How do unmarried people and homosexuals go through life without access to this important information?

Crisis Averted

2010-07-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mehserle sentencing pushed back to Nov. 5

Friday August 6th

2010-07-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

Former BART cop Johannes Mehserle was convicted today of involuntary manslaughter and of using a gun while committing a felony in the death of Oscar Grant.

Mehserle (white) shot Grant (black) while Grant was laying face down on the BART platform. Mehserle claims he was reaching for his newly issued taser and accidentally pulled his gun.

All of this was caught on tape.

What does this have to do with the wedding? Sentencing has been set for Friday August 6th. Due to the combination of convictions, he can get a minimum of 5 years to a maximum of 14. However, the defense can argue for him to get probation with no prison time at all because he was convicted of manslaughter not murder. It is unclear whether or not the second conviction of using a gun while committing a felony requires Mehserle to receive prison time.

If he gets off with probation and no jail time, one could expect mass protests in the City of Oakland and on BART the night of our wedding rehearsal.

Just something to keep an eye on.

Whoops!

2010-06-29T11:17:00.001-07:00

RSVP fail: we forgot to put a date to répondez s'il vous plaît BY.

So...just RSVP. Please.

Working on the Ceremony

2010-06-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

We've started working on the ceremony. What do you think about this for the ring exchange:

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

What? Not appropriate? Well... ok. I guess we'll go with something else.

Holy Crap!

2010-06-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

We've been very wedding-oriented lately, after not doing much for the past...several months. In the past couple weeks, we've created registries, Alan got his great-grandfather's ring sized, I've purchased a veil and some jewelry, we've sort of narrowed down the reception foodstuffs, and we've decided on wording for the invitations! Oh, and we have the name of a florist that I need to call tomorrow.

The most exciting thing, I think, is that Alan was able to find a place that could size the ring without harming the inscription inside. This ring is from 1895, you guys, and was a couple sizes too big for Alan's slender finger (is it a surprise that his fingers are skinny? Not at all.). Fortunately, the goldsmith who appraised my engagement ring is, duh, a goldsmith, and was able to preserve the entire inscription. We had worried about it because when I bought my wedding ring, the jeweler at the store said that they might have to cut out part of Alan's ring to properly size it, and Alan was none too pleased. It was quite a boon, therefore, to find a goldsmith.

And the registering is also exciting, but completely overwhelming at the same time (how many plates? How many glasses? Towels? Do we NEED a waffle iron? What about luggage? Chip and dip platters?). Our house is SO tiny that it's hard to consider the future when what we own barely fits. But it is exciting to think that, one day, when we move into a place that's bigger than half a small house, we'll have lovely things that will remind us of our wedding and of these days when our little family is just the two of us, branching off from our respective bigger families.

The Macy's registry website tells us we have 55 days until the wedding. HOLY CRAP.

ALSO, today is the one year anniversary of our engagement in Paris! It's the one anniversary we can agree on. Yay us!

Wedding shoes

2010-04-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

From the beginning of this whole process, I've been more focused on what shoes I'll wear than what dress. I care about the dress, yes, but it's not something I can necessarily wear again, even if it wasn't ivory. I mean, I'm not exactly making the cocktail party circuit once a week. Or even once a month, for that matter. My dress is short, and my shoes will be (quite) visible. So, shoes? Muy importante.

I decided on these:

They were expensive (cost more than my dress!) but they are AWESOME. Darker than the photo, but they look great with the dress. And I can wear them with many things, since they're nude (with that fantastic shock of pink). Seriously. Amazing.

Photos!

2010-03-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

As part of our package with our wonderful wedding photographer Emily Perello from Emily Takes Photos we got an "engagement session". So on Super Bowl Sunday we went out to the Albany Bulb and took photos!

You can see some highlights below in the slideshow or here on her blog. I recommend going to her blog if you want to see them larger.

So advanced

2010-02-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

We've paid for almost our entire honeymoon already: plane tickets, lodging, and rental car ($15/day through Hotwire! It cannot be beat), and it's all been this week, so it's been a VERY expensive week. On the upside, though, by the time August rolls around we won't have to worry about these large expenses (fingers crossed, of course).

Meanwhile, my wedding band came into the shop today! Less than a week after ordering--very cool. It's verrrrry simple, basically the same as my engagement ring (same width and everything) but without any sort of setting or stones. Perfect. They're closed tomorrow, Sunday and Monday, so I'll have to remember to go pick it up next Saturday. Exciting!

See ball: it rolls

2010-02-02T11:15:00.000-08:00

Gosh--we've done so much wedding stuff in the past couple weeks! I picked up my wedding dress (it came in a month early!), we assembled and (as of today) mailed most of our Save the Dates, we went back to Mills with our officiant (Susan, Alan's best friend and a wonderful awesome person) to show her the space and talk about the ceremony and our ideas. We looked at (and ordered) a wedding ring for me, talked to the jeweler about sizing Alan's great-grandfather's ring for him (the short answer is...Alan has to think about it), and, as of last night, booked our plane tickets for our honeymoon in...dun dun dun!....Hawaii!

Weddingy things still to do: get Alan some pants (or a whole new tux), get me a head thing and some shoes, flowers, cake/pie/dessert, invitations, drink-holding things, create a registry, and probably other stuff I'm forgetting. What am I forgetting? Oh, who knows.

Getting the ball rolling

2010-01-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

My lovely, wonderful and talented (!!) friend, Rachel, mailed us our completed Save the Date cards from her cozy home in Seattle earlier this week, and they arrived yesterday! Despite Alan being out of town, there was no way I was going to wait until Monday evening to open the package. So I opened it and texted him to let him know they came. It was my own private compromise. And they are AWESOME. They don't have any of Rachel's glorious artwork on them (because we wanted to keep them super simple), but we'll be adoring them with two funny little stamps we picked up on Fourth Street.

And Rachel, I am going to pimp you out a little bit for the 4 people (including yourself, haha) who read this blog: go here to see some of Rachel's amazing work. You can purchase prints of her work, greeting cards with her images on them (some quite festive!), or commission her to do, well, many things!

This means, of course, that we now have to actually finalize the guest list and gather addresses from everyone. Good times!

News to report!

2010-01-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

It's perhaps a bit strange that I ordered my dress so far in advance, but when you know what you want, you get it! And I did. It was originally not supposed to be in until mid-February (still plenty of time to get it altered, etc.), but I got a call from The Wedding Party today saying it's come in early! And I made an appointment to pick it up in 3 weeks (our schedules do not match up well).

I am so excited. I can sort of understand how all those women on Say Yes to the Dress feel, having not seen their dress in a while. And while this is DEFINITELY less than the year that those dresses take), I've never seen my dress in the material I decided upon, so it's a bit nerve-wracking. Clara tells me that it's beautiful, that it turned out wonderfully and is so pretty, which helps a bit (but I also think, you see wedding dresses every day--and aren't they always that way?).

If I hate it, I can always get something else, since it wasn't very pricey. BUT I keep trying to picture myself in something long and different, and just can't do it.

Dress, I will see you in 3 weeks!

It's quiet, but all's well

2009-12-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

Boy, it's been a while since we posted anything. We haven't been very focused on wedding planning since Alan and I have rarely overlapped on time at home (awake and/or with clear minds) since...Thanksgiving. Right now, we're deciding on what we would like the Save the Date cards to look like, but that's about it.

And, personally, because I can't speak for Alan, I've been fretting a bit over what to do with my extremely un-bridal hair. It's short, and it's going to be short, and that's just the way it is. I'm of two minds about a veil, but it seems impossible to find a place to try one on, just to see what it looks like. I'm thinking of ordering one online, but what if I hate it? Fret, fret, fret.

Otherwise--life goes on! My show closed last week, Alan's closes this weekend, then we have a week, then Alan goes to Michigan, so the first weekend in January will be the first time since early November that we'll spend a Friday and Saturday night together without shows! Huzzah.

Social networking gone TOO FAR

2009-12-03T11:36:00.000-08:00

If Alan even THINKS of doing THIS during the wedding ceremony, there won't be a reception because we'll be too busy getting the marriage annulled. Immediately.

And one more thing (this gets its own post)

2009-12-01T14:16:00.001-08:00

We booked our photographer! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the synergistic, incredible, lovely and talented...

Emily Takes Photos

Because she is AMAZING. And her photos are AMAZING. And et cetera ad infinitum!

Epiphanies abound!

2009-12-01T13:44:00.000-08:00

We are truly doing cake and punch (or pie and sangria, or pudding and lemonade, etc. etc. etc.) during the reception. Truly, truly, for real for real. We sat down and looked at the budget again last week after a couple months of not looking at it--during which time we put down deposits on the location, my dress, the photographer, and a couple other things--and had to take a moment and catch our collective breath. All of a sudden, we're having a moderately expensive wedding! Not outrageously so, thank god, not even probably what most wedding-planning-people would think of as expensive, but it was a bit of a shock to us. And so, after talking about doing hors d'oeuvres [sic, for the love of god, sic] or box lunches (and LADIES! If you are having lunch after your wedding, the BOX LUNCH is highly economical!), we're going to go with our original old fashioned plan.

I know there might be some eye rolling and scoffing at this plan, perhaps a bit of, "we came all the way out here for this?" but the people we care about the most--and who care about US the most--(hopefully) won't care. Or shouldn't care. Or will think it's awesome. I think it's awesome!

You are regretfully invited...

2009-11-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

Click on the image to see the full invitation in all it's glory.

Invite courtesy of http://wedding-invitation-wording.co.cc/wedding-invitation.jpg

This is exactly what ours will look like. Except Alan is not a doctor, and I am not a cheap two bit tramp. So, other than that...

Psych! Kidding. Also, I don't have a nut allergy. But this IS the first image that comes up when you google "wedding invitation wording." Just so you know.

A tempest in a tea pot

2009-11-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

Weddings are beasts, and I'm going to go ahead and put it out there: we're having a small wedding. And there will be family (on both sides) that won't be invited, and there will be friends (on both sides) that won't be invited, and there might be wailing and tears and the rending of garments and the pulling of hair at the injustice of it all. But we want a small wedding, and Alan has a lot of family, and I have a lot of local people, so decisions have to be made, and at the end of the day, we want to keep it small.

Why do we want to keep it small? Well, cost is a factor. Cost is a major factor, even though we're not doing favors and don't have to subsidize parking or anything. We'll be feeding everyone light hors d'oeuvres, yes, but it's still expensive. Plus, we would like to actually have the possibility of spending time with our guests, some of whom will be coming from very far away. But mostly, it's because neither of us enjoy being in the spotlight, being on display, and we don't really see why we should invite every single person we have some sort of relationship with, because weddings are about coming together with the people you know and love best.

So, yes--we aren't inviting people. It's not personal, it's just our preference.

What's Behind a Tradition?

2009-11-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

Photo from the State Library Queensland, Australia

As previously stated, there are number of things we’re not planning on having at the wedding. The only one that I felt a tiny twinge about was the “first dance”, even though it really doesn’t fit with our wedding or our personalities. I got to thinking though, what is it about a first dance that I find appealing or meaningful? What’s the point of the first dance?

I don’t think it’s to show off the happy couple’s dancing prowess, nor is it meant to be a big grandiose performance. Suddenly turning a wedding into an episode of Glee or a Bollywood movie might be fun, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with what a “wedding” actually is.

To me a wedding is about standing up in front of everyone you know (or a portion thereof) and declaring that this is the person you’re going to love for the rest of your life and then celebrating that love. Traditions like a first dance give the guests an opportunity to witness the happy couple in love. It’s an intimate moment, but one that’s still socially acceptable to watch, where people can see the couple interacting and (hopefully) showing their love for each other through their body language.

The “clink clink smooch” thing serves the same purpose, except it surrenders control of the moment into the hands of your guests which can be highly unfortunately if they’re drunk and obnoxious.

But now, knowing the point of the first dance, we can look for other opportunities to serve the same purpose in ways that our more us. Ways as simple as holding hands as we walk around the reception, or more formal like cutting the cake. That's another moment when we see the bride and groom interacting in an intimate moment: feeding each other (which is of course why smashing cake in the person’s face is obnoxious unless that’s really how the two of you express your love for each other).

This will NOT be necessary

2009-10-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe there's a guide for how to pee in a wedding dress. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I can believe it! Behold the glory: How to Use the Restroom in a Wedding Gown.

Wedding Hair

2009-10-26T15:14:00.001-07:00

It's hard to have wedding hair when (dun dun dun!) one gets the shortest haircut of one's life!

And no, I don't plan on growing it out. It would be such a horrible awkward length if I did. Plus, my hair laughs at curling irons and doesn't really even try to hold a curl but gives up in confusion (you want me to do what?! Like hell!).

Fascinators FTW! Like this perhaps, or this for a bit more color or THIS!

The problem with Etsy, of course, is the constant updating of pretty things.

This is all just to say that I got my hair cut on Saturday and asked for shorter and it is SHORT but I like it. I still jump a little when I look in the mirror (I can see my ears! My ears are exposed!) but I like it.

This is crazy!

2009-10-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

Our appointment at The Wedding Party was cut short on Saturday because one of the ladies (consultants? I don't know what to call them) was really sick, and the woman who was helping us had to take her to the emergency room.

Guess what was wrong with her. Seriously. Ok, fine, I'll tell you--she had APPENDICITIS! And she had to have her appendix removed that night! Isn't that nuts? Good thing she was taken to the ER!

But it's all ok--they sent me all the information I need via email, and we have a new appointment for this coming Saturday so I can finalize my stuff (and pay), and so Emily can look at wedding dresses for her own wedding in March. Huzzah!