Diaper Trials

Time for something completely different: Buying a house

2012-07-18T17:18:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about housing lately because we're considering buying our first home. We've been looking for nearly a year so it's obviously a long ordeal for us.

So what do you consider when buying a house:
* Location
* Number of rooms, layout, etc
* Yard
* Condition of home

And of course
* Cost

Cost. How much will you pay for the house? Do you put down every last cent you have available or save a little bit for unforseen repairs or an unexpected expense? Then do you set it up to pay the most possible you can monthly or leave a little bit of wiggle room?

We seem to be on the conservative side. People keep saying to us things that amount to "Buy the most house you possibly can." or "The house doesn't have to be perfect. This can just be your starter home." and also, "Sure, you'll be poor for a few years but then you'll be fine. Your income is only going to go up." Is this true?

In a stable housing market where values were certainly going to go up, it'd make sense to buy a house that was the most we could afford. It probably still does if we're going to be there for the rest of our lives. (But the house had better be pretty good for our family if we're going to be there forever.) Otherwise, we don't want to stretch ourselves too thin and be unable to send our kids to preschool, do enrichment activities, or save for retirement.

What about the claim that our income is only going to go up? Well, if we're lucky enough to stay employed (not something we all take for granted anymore), we can expect our income to be relatively stable. We've both been in our careers for about a decade. Our income may go up somewhat, but it's not like we're just starting out at entry level income. If our income does go up more than cost of living, like if we get a bonus, we could maybe take our kids on a vacation.

What about expenses? We have 2 young kids. Our expenses are only going to go up, from what I can see. The oldest will start in preschool this year. Preschool isn't cheap. Then when she gets to elementary school, she may go to public school depending on where we end up buying a house or we might be paying for private school. Big expense. In addition, there may be enrichment activities like ballet or piano or summer camp that she'll want to do. Those things will add up quickly.

Sure, we could tell our kids they can't do those activities. We could stop saving for retirement. Many of our friends are not contributing to retirement now figuring they'll do that later. Later when what happens? When they're making more money or when expenses go down (like they've paid off their student loans, something I finished about 6 years ago). This may be true for them, but if we're going to continue for the next 18 years with roughly the same standard of living, we can't spend much more on housing than we currently do. (Of course, we're saving now so we can afford a little bit more but we need to factor in maintenance, taxes, etc.)

Perhaps we won't be paying for schooling in a few years and we won't indulge the kids in expensive hobbies. Perhaps we'll get raises or change jobs such that we're making more. Perhaps we'll lose jobs and be unemployed for a while, or choose to leave jobs to start our own businesses. We don't know. And of course we can never know what the future brings, but just assuming we will make more in the future seems foolish, for us at least.

Now, if we were just starting out and had our initial salaries and no child-related expenses like when we got married 7 years ago, we could have bought our small starter home and lived frugally for a few years while we saved for a bigger home, moved up the ladder in our jobs, and then moved when we had kids and needed more room. That's apparently what we were "supposed" to do. But 7 years ago was 2005. That was the peak of the housing bubble. There were small condos going for well over a half million dollars and the value of homes in this area are now 60% of their 2005 cost. Whether or not we had purchased then, I'm not sure we'd be in better shape now. I assume we'd be getting different advice than "This is just your starter home" or "You'll be making more in a few years."

I seem to be on an entirely different page than most people around us, so I just wanted to explain our thinking. Maybe we're nuts, but at least we're conservatively nuts. :)

ECing with a 2nd kid

2012-02-17T19:19:00.000-08:00

I thought it'd be much harder, but it's not. I find it hard to notice Francis' cues, but sometimes Elaine tells me when he needs to go. That makes it easier! :) Of course, finding the time to run him to the potty when he needs to go (even when he's willing to wait a minute or two), can be tricky. It was much easier to drop every thing when it was just one kid. Still seems like a good idea to spare a diaper or two when I can and keep his awareness up.

Also, I have a friend with a 5 month old who just started ECing. She also has a 3 year old boy who isn't potty trained. ECing the baby is going very well. Potty training the older one is a struggle and he's refusing to use the potty. She's wishing she'd started the older one on sooner so that he wouldn't be afraid of the big potty at this point. But maybe the little brother will be able to help the older one feel more comfortable. And it doesn't seem to cause any negative problems with the older one feeling behind or anything, which I'd sort of worry about. These kids seem pretty happy though!

catching up

2012-02-17T19:14:00.001-08:00

I've gotten pretty behind in posting. Crazy life with 2 little kids. :) I do have a bunch queued up in my mind so hopefully I can whip some out over the next few days. Thanks for reading!

"Pretend you're playing Angry Birds" (How ECing is different for boys vs girls)

2011-07-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say that it isn't really different for boys vs girls. The communication is similar. Their elimination needs are similar.

But the reality is that there are some technical details that are different. Most people seem to get that. In fact, when Elaine was born and we were excited about ECing, all our friends basically said, "Well, that's nice but I have a boy. You can't do that with boys."

Well, you can. And thanks you my friends who have boys who told me that because it motivated me to get Francis to the potty sooner. :) There are some things to watch out for though.

(Warning: This is going to get a little bit graphic. If you don't want to think about boy parts and girl parts, then stop reading!)

With a girl, you aren't likely to end up with a face full of pee if you stop paying attention for a minute. You can basically just hold a girl over the receptacle and you'll probably have good luck. (Realize that girls can have a range too. Don't put her facing you wearing your good suit and figure she can't make it that far.) With a boy... well, do you aim?

I searched around on the Internet for descriptions and the best I found was to sneak an arm under baby boy's leg and use a finger to help aim. So the first time I took Francis to the potty, I pointed him downward and my husband freaked out. "That's like pinching off a hose!" Well, what do I know? So I just let him be and he peed all over the bathroom. (Duh, right?)

So after much discussion, my husband came up with the following suggestion for when I took Francis to the bathroom, "Pretend you're playing Angry Birds."

For those who might not be familiar with this popular game, Angry Birds is a game on the iPhone (and other similar devices) where you launch ball-shaped birds via slingshot at some structures in an attempt to destroy them and their ball-shaped pig occupants.

We'd just gotten an ipod touch and my daughter immediately insisted on Angry Birds because a friend had shown it to her. Our family was all playing in no time. Anyway, my husband's signature move is to launch a bird high into the air so it drops into the structure nearly vertically. Apparently, that was my husband's suggestion for successfully getting pee in the toilet.

Are you laughing yet? Yeah, I realize this is a bit silly.

This method was only mildly successful. I was able to "successfully play that level" a few times but there were other times that I ended up using my hands (or, um, my kid's feet) to deflect the flow. I don't really think this method works for me. (Meanwhile, my husband uses an entirely different hold because he has ridiculously long arms so he apparently holds baby's feet and used some leg readjusting method like a joystick to change the flow direction. Probably all the while laughing at me trying to "play angry birds" when I take our son to the bathroom.)

So after a few failed attempts, I abandoned that method. I started watching carefully and when he started peeing, I'd quickly use a finger to point his penis downward just enough to get it in the potty without "clamping off the hose" and that seems to work fine. In fact, he seems to naturally point more downward now so it's not an issue a lot of the time anymore. After that first week of trying to figure it out, I think I've missed the potty 3-4 times. Given that he used it over 80 times, that's not too bad a miss-rate. Heck, I've heard from friends that their husbands have a higher miss-rate. :) And for those of you who also use our bathroom, don't worry. We keep that Costco-sized bin of lysol wipes there for just those occasions.

83

2011-07-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

That's the number of successful catches we had during Francis' first month: 83. This means that we successfully recognized his signs (or guessed by timing) and got him to the potty about 3 times per day. Of course, he still used quite a few diapers as well (far more than 83) but I'm happy with that number. We had the advantage of being home basically all the time too so it probably won't be as high in the next few months. It's harder to run a 3 month old to a store bathroom in time, especially with the 2 year old in hand. I have no idea how that will go. So far, so good though. :)

How to do Elimination Communication

2011-07-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

Once you've decided to do Elimination Communication, what do you do?

There are 2 parts: Elimination and Communication. (Sounds simple enough, right?)

First, and most importantly, communication. How to tell when your little one is going to eliminate. Most kids grunt or squirm when they're about to poop and get suddenly quiet and calm when peeing. You can learn your own child's cues by letting him or her go diaper free, with a cloth diaper and no cover, or even with a disposable diaper that has a magic stripe on it like the pampers swaddlers sensitive. (As my husband says, "pee and yellow make blue.") Any way that you'll be able to tell immediately after your child has gone and you'll be able to start learning their cues. I also recommend that you take your child right after he or she wakes up from a nap. That's a common time kids usually go.

Elimination

This is how you respond to their cues. I personally like to take my son or daughter to the toilet in the bathroom. Other people use bowls, sinks, bathtubs, a bush... whatever is convenient. Use what works for you and your comfort level. It's also common of ECers to use a verbal cue like "pssss" to indicate that it's a good time to pee or grunt to encourage pooping. This is useful if you want to cue your child to go in an unusual place like a new restroom or even their diaper. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I just ended up telling my kid that it's ok to go potty now and that seems to work fine.

Regardless of the receptacle, it's important to situate the baby in a way that makes him feel safe and secure. There are lots of ways to do this, but the bottom line is to just in a way that supports them as needed. For newborns, this means supporting their heads in addition to their bodies where a 6 month old wouldn't need that support.

Here's my daughter as a wee one.

You can see that she's propped on the toilet seat with a cloth diaper added for comfort. There's also I blanket on my knees for her and dad is helping support. All these are nice, but these luxuries aren't needed. (Nice that dad is there to hide her girl parts in the picture. I'm sure she'll kill me if her prom date were to ever see this in the future. Sorry, Elaine.)

Some more set up that works for us. I always sit on the edge of the tub to take off or put on the diaper. The diapers and wipes easily fit above the toilet. We can easily fit at lease a dozen disposables there but we could only fit 3 cloth there so we had to restock more when we used cloth and put a small trash can by the tub to toss used ones in. You can also see the lysol wipes hidden in the corner behind the toilet so we can easily disinfect if the aim wasn't completely successful. Oh, there's also a stool that my 2 year old now uses so she can hop up on her own.

Because of how we do the diaper changes, this eliminates the need for a changing table. In the first few months, we keep a mat out on the floor for quick changes but generally prefer to take my kids to the bathroom. It's more comfortable for me to change a baby on my lap than lean over the floor. Do what works for you and your family though. Oh, you'll also notice that I keep the baby angled toward the toilet... just in case.

Why EC?

2011-06-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

This is one of the topics that I'm asked about often so I made it an independent page (linked on the right) for easy reference.

http://diapertrials.blogspot.com/p/why-ec.html

Coming soon... How to EC

Top reasons why we decided to do Elimination Communication:

Less gross. Cleaning up after a poopy diaper is not my idea of a fun afternoon. ECing meant that we could avoid some of the poopiness. Sounds good to me!
Better for the environment. Fewer diapers of any kind are better for the environment. We'd still be using water and toilet paper or wipes, but that is better suited to deal with waste than a stack of disposables or even cloth.
Better for baby. If she's not sitting in waste all day, then she's going to be more comfortable and healthy.
Why not? There's really no commitment. It's free. I could stop at any time or just do it part-time. We could take breaks. And according to the books I read, just doing it in the evening or with a certain caregiver and not other times is still beneficial.
Sounds fun! Really, this was my main draw. I walk past the bathroom a hundred times per day. Why not just take my little one with me? Maybe it will work.

After we started doing elimination communication, we found more benefits.

My baby loved it! She seemed much happier (most of the time) to use the toilet than her diaper. Those times when she seemed displeased with a potty trip, we just didn't go. Low stress for all of us.
Daddy would do it. It was like pulling teeth to get him to change a diaper so he changed an average of 1 per week, but he could handle taking the baby to the toilet.
No pee in my face. I think most diaperers have experienced taking off a diaper and suddenly a little spout of pee shoot up in the air or soak the diaper pad. After learning my daughters signals, and later her ASL sign, I could tell when this was going to happen and prevent the mess.
Fewer leaks. Since I could tell when she was going to go, this also meant I knew she had gone. Her diaper wasn't going to fill up unnoticed.
No need to check for a wet or stinky diaper. I knew she was going to go potty or had gone. At a playgroup one day, I was amazed at the number of people who would stick a finger in the edge of the diaper to check if it was wet. Ew! Ok, pee is sterile and these mamas probably washed their hands, but that wasn't a method I was about to adopt.
Easier potty training. Doing EC means kids retain elimination awareness. Apparently kids are born with some awareness and we train them to use diapers and ignore this instinct. Then when it's potty training time, we are all frustrated that the kids seem to not know or care when they're wet or dirty.
Saves money. Fewer diapers meant saving money. Obviously fewer disposibles, but even switching to cloth meant I needed a smaller stash. Since she had control of her functions, she used the diaper or toilet every few hours. She also potty trained much earlier than she might have otherwise.
Better communication. My daughter loved that she could communicate her needs to us. "Toilet" was her 2nd ASL sign (after "milk") and she loved that she could tell me her needs so clearly. I love having that relationship with my child.
Really is fun!

Birth of Francis

2011-06-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

I've finally found the time to record the story of Francis' birth. :)

On May 27, 2011 at 6:42am, my 2 year old daughter Elaine woke me up to nurse. I felt a little trickle that I suspected was my water breaking. 5 hours later, I was holding my son.

More details:
We arrived at the hospital at about 8am. I definitely was having strong contractions but they were far enough apart that I opted to walk from the parking lot with my husband and daughter instead of being dropped off. I'd called ahead so we were immediately shown to our room. I labored with my daughter for a bit where she stood on the bed and rocked with me. Then my parents arrived to take over care of my daughter. My mom took one look at me and said, "We won't leave the hospital." (She used to work in L&D.) I guess she knew this would be fairly quick.

At 9:30, the contractions were close and very intense. Stronger than I'd ever felt them in the 27 hours of labor with my daughter. The midwife checked me and I was 5 cm dilated. She asked if I wanted a doula. (They have a volunteer program.) I quickly said, "Yes!" (Then wondered if i should have asked my husband first how he felt about it but contractions were very strong and close so there was no time to discuss. And I knew I needed the support. My husband could hold my hand or get me water but he wouldn't know if some new position was good or if that would stall labor. Besides, why not?)

Within a few minutes, the head of the doula program (Anne) came in and explained the doula-on-call was on her way but she'd stay with me until she arrived. That was great. Anne was amazing. She talked me through contractions. She squeezed my hips in some way that was supportive. She encouraged me to relax in between contractions (in between? there were like 5 seconds. lol) and gave me "permission" to have irregular contractions, be in any position that I felt comfortable, be vocal, etc. Not that I couldn't have done those anyway, but it was nice to feel like I was doing it "right" even though I've never gone through anything so intense.

I labored on hands/knees for a while. Then I made the long trek (15 feet or so) to the bathroom. Then I labored standing for a while and the new doula, Michelle, arrived. Both Anne and Michelle stayed with me for a while.

Eventually, I crawled back onto the bed (hands/knees) and started pushing. They called the midwife and told her to put gloves on. She sort of argued that she needed to check me and both the nurse and doula basically said there's no time. Get ready. I confirmed that it was ok to push since I'd heard pushing too early could cause swelling and slow things down. "Yes! If you feel the urge, push!"

Well, I never felt the urge, but pushing made the pain more tolerable so I pushed. With Elaine, I pushed for 4 hours. A little out, a little back. A little out, a little back. With this guy, I felt one move out and then recede back a little and thought, "Oh, no! There's no going back in!" and pushed with everything I had left with no regard for contractions or timing. I was just pushing.

Meanwhile, my husband asked if he could help deliver the baby ("Sure! Go wash your hands.") He did, tweeted "pushing" (at 11:25am) so our family and friends getting the twitter feed would know what was happening, washed his hands again, and then the head was out and he was ready. I declared myself done and everyone started screaming, "No! Keep pushing! Keep pushing!" I didn't know it at the time, but the cord was loosely around his neck. With the next push, I got his shoulders out, the midwife slipped the cord down his body and my husband and midwife caught the baby.

At 11:28am, we had our baby boy. 8lbs 5.9 oz and 20.5 in long. My daughter joined us shortly thereafter followed by the rest of the family. Everyone was happy and healthy!

Regression - mom

2011-06-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

I should add to my previous post that Elaine hasn't regressed in terms of potty training but I have, apparently. After assisting her in the bathroom, I grabbed a diaper and started putting it on her.

"Mommy, what are you doing?"

I think I just looked confused for a moment. I'd checked to make sure I grabbed a newborn size, not size 1. Then it hit me, "Oh right. You don't wear diapers." In fact, she hasn't worn diapers of any kind day or night in 5 months. I'm clearly a little short on sleep these days.

Regression

2011-06-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

I wondered how my 2 year old would deal with potty training once we had the new baby. With this in mind, I've kept her in the blueberry trainers for the last few months even though she rarely had accidents. I figured the added protection when we had a baby and she might regress would be a good idea. She'd be spending a few days with her grandparents (and had never been away from us for more than an hour or two previously) so i thought that might cause some chaos as well.

However, she's done great! She had no accidents with grandparents or with all the new baby visitors when we got home. After a couple of weeks, she started having accidents at night (4 out of 5 nights in a row) but I think that was more about exhaustion than regression of some kind. After she started catching up on sleep more, the accidents stopped. She finally had one small accident yesterday (after more than 5 weeks of daytime accident free) where she suddenly announced she'd made a mess and ran to the bathroom. It was only a few drips and almost all contained in her trainers so not a big deal. This is the longest accident free stretch she's had, actually.

I wonder if we're not seeing any regression because her brother is going to the potty too. Perhaps that's a benefit of ECing that I hadn't considered before.

Our First Catch

2011-06-21T16:39:00.000-07:00

Francis was born on Friday, May 27, 2011. We came home from the hospital on Sunday. On Monday, we got our first catch in the potty. Well, in the bathroom at least. I'll admit that my aim wasn't too great having never pottied a boy before. This is how that event ended;

So the first toilet trip was a bit messier than anticipated, but we were thrilled we'd picked up on his signal. A mere 4 days old and he'd successfully peed and pooped (mostly) in the potty. Our first catch with him was even sooner than his sister (5 days old) but both were very exciting. Within 24 hours, we'd had another 4 successful trips with him and 3 of those times, he'd had a dry, clean diaper. I always feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment when the diaper is dry.

This begins our journey with Elimination Communication with Francis.

Sleep Training

2011-06-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

We're trying something relatively new with Elaine. Sleep training. Now, this isn't the typical let-her-cry sleep training, but giving her some skills to help her relax and fall asleep. My hope is that she'll be able to use these skills as she gets older as well. Both my husband and I have had trouble falling asleep at times in our lives and we didn't really have any skills to utilize. Telling a 2 year old to "just count sheep" doesn't seem reasonable. "1... 2... 3... 4...{giggle} 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... {squeal} 11... 12... 14... 16... 17... 18... 19... um... 16... {jumps on bed}" :)

So I stood by her bed last night and talked Elaine (and dad) through progressive relaxation and then we did deep breaths until she fell asleep. The whole thing took about 15 minutes: 6 for relaxation exercises, 8 for deep breathing and another few minutes of me hanging out just to be sure she was actually asleep. (And all while swaying back and forth nursing a 3 week old.) I'd like to have more relaxation ideas up my sleeve so I can keep going if she's clearly still going a mile per minute.

The ideas I used were from skimming the book The Floppy Sleep Game Book by Patty Teel.

There's nothing particularly novel about the book, but she used language that is appropriate for little kids and gives me ideas of exercises. It's geared toward kids 3-8 years old so I had to adjust when I started using it with my daughter at 22 months. Perhaps it was coincidence but she went from sleeping 5-6 hours in her longest stretch (then 2 hours, then 1) to 9 hours straight starting the first night we did the exercises. We didn't even use it long enough to get her to sleep, just to calm down and then got ready for bed. It seemed to make an immediate difference though. But then I was pregnant and not able to lie on my back to do the exercises with her so that got put on the back burner. We did do the exercises occasionally and her sleep stayed about the same (until we potty trained a month or two later) so it was still beneficial.

This was the first time we set out to actually do this until she fell asleep. (Well, we tried it last week and it did work but there were exceptional circumstances where we thought my daughter was ill and needed to keep her away from new baby and mom and it worked, but it was not a normal night. This was normal. Or at least as normal a night can be with 2 little kids.) I think we'll try to do this more regularly. I'm not sure I'm going to use the "4-week plan" involved because that's not really my objective but I like the tools available. I also think I'll buy the book now that I've checked it out from the library 3 times. :)

Flats and Handwashing Challenge

2011-06-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

Since I mentioned flats and washing diapers in my last post, I thought it would also be prudent to link to the recent Flats and Handwashing Challenge. It is over now, but I thought the idea was neat.

The basic idea was to switch to using only flats (just a big piece of cloth) for a week and they could only be handwashed. The idea was to see if it was really feasible to use exclusively flats, handwash and air dry. Apparently, about 400 families participated and 50 blogged about their experiences. Sounds interesting!
http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/take-the-flats-and-handwashing-challenge-may-23-30/

Diaper Donations

2011-06-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

A friend just visited and her playgroup is doing a diaper drive for a Mother in Need so I sent some diapers with her. If you want to donate:
http://www.helpamotherout.org/donate/

I couldn't help but think cloth would go farther for people who can't afford diapers. Cotton Babies has worked hard to put together affordable options like the econobum diapers... everything you need for less than $50:
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=138&products_id=2533

And cloth can be even cheaper than that if you get good deals on prefolds ($1-2/each) and covers (about $6 each) or flats, which are even cheaper and easier to clean. However, I have to think that dealing with cloth is probably not something a lot of moms want to deal with if they're worried about not being able to diaper their child at all. Not to mention washing might not be easy or economic if they have to get to a laudromat and pay for the machines frequently.

Of course, there's always ECing-- needs no diapers at all! :) (Not an option many families know about, I suspect.)

Anyway, my heart goes out to parents who are struggling to take care of basic needs for their child. Perhaps some of my readers will be able to donate as well.

Welcome!

2011-06-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog about our journey with Elimination Communication, Cloth vs Disposable Diapers, Potty Training and other baby topics!

My 2nd child, Francis, is 2 weeks old. We started ECing with him the day after we got home from the hospital. He was 4 days old. (Even younger than his big sis who started using the potty at 5 days old.) Perhaps more interesting, he was successfully keeping a dry diaper and using the toilet several times per day before he even had a name. "Great job, uh... little guy." :)

We loved ECing with my daughter so I'm excited to be able to do it again with my 2nd. We've also had quite the adventure with disposables vs cloth and of course, eventually potty learning. I've included those posts from my old blog in the archive section.

Potty Training

2011-04-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

April 21, 2011 19:51

Someone noticed today that Elaine was potty trained and asked how we did it. I think I just stared at her for a moment before answering. I think I'd better write it down before I forget completely! (Could just be that I'm 9 months pregnant and have pregnancy brain... so to the best of my recollection...)

When did you start potty training? How did do it?

There are lots of possible answers.

5 days old. Her first successful potty trip was when she was less than a week old. I took her when she started squirming and I just felt like she needed to go. My husband looked at me like I was nuts as he followed me to the bathroom. "Ok, so how long are you going to wait before... oh my goodness!" He couldn't get the question out before she'd successfully gone in the potty. We continued with this kind of method for the next year or so with her using the potty usually a few times per day. She started telling me when she needed to go by signing "toilet" when she was a few months old and then started taking herself at about 10 months old when she was walking. We weren't always consistent and she basically always had a diaper back up but the Elimination Communication method was a great intro to potty training. (She's had 3 poopy diapers since 10 months old and those were unusual circumstances like illness.) Anyway, less about training her and more about communication, but the fact remains that she was comfortable with the toilet and had decent bladder control.

15 months. This is when I first made an attempt at training. At 13 months, I switched to cloth diapers. (In retrospect, should have just gone to full blown potty training since she was really close then.) Though cloth diapers are often attributed to early potty training, I think this was a set back for us. We had some trouble with detergent and bad rashes so she was somewhat traumatized by using the potty and hated her diaper changes which were apparently more painful than peeing on the rash. I noticed she was losing her awareness that she was peeing (but retained poop awareness). Anyway, at 15 mo, I wanted to encourage her potty awareness again and she was almost big enough for the tiniest underwear I could find. (Close enough they'd stay up anyway.) She wore gerber training pants (slightly thicker cotton crotch) or regular "Elmo" underwear both with gerber plastic pants over them. This was 100% successful in containing her pee (until she outgrew the 12 mo old size close to age 2) so daddy didn't freak out too much. It was also immediately obvious to both me and her that she'd gone. (Hard to miss the hanging bag of pee!) We didn't just this often, just off and on whenever we had a morning at home. I only had 2 pairs of plastic pants so once those were wet, we were done for the day. I'm not sure it did any good really but it didn't hurt and I highly recommend this very inexpensive technique. We maybe did this for a month or so periodically. Definitely not consistent. Daddy also freaked out any time there was an accident (even contained!) and I didn't want her to be emotionally scarred so I put it on hold for a while. She still told us she needed to go often, but it certainly wasn't all the time. This practice probably put us back at the same level before switching to cloth.

19 months. I decided to start trying to potty train. I let her run around naked for a day and she did pretty well. Then I put underwear on her and she immediately peed. (I learned later that this was common.) I decided I'd better keep her in underwear all day and just clean up accidents as she mastered her awareness. However, Daddy flipped out that I was just allowing her to "pee on all our stuff." Personally, I hated diapers so much that I'd rather wash extra loads of laundry and drag the wet/dry vac around all day to clean up messes so it was working for me and she was making progress, but with Dad's reaction, it became clear that this wasn't going to work for our family. (Dad suggested I just keep her in the small apartment kitchen or the bathroom all the time. I tried to keep her in those 18 sq feet for a while, but it wasn't practical.) Anyway, the carpet wasn't the cleanest so whenever she had an accident that I spot cleaned, it was obvious. We decided to clean the carpets. Then I could spot clean without it being obvious. However, after the carpets were clean, dad flipped out that I would let her pee on the clean carpet. :p

20 months. I was pregnant so I figured this was a good time. I'd be running to the bathroom all the time anyway, right? (Plus, the smell from diapers that were 1 day or less wet was too much for me to handle.) I kept her in plastic pants and that was working fine but she couldn't really wear them outside the house and I was feeling really fatigued with the pregnancy. She continued to use the potty often but not always. I also had read a little more about potty training and learned that most kids don't pee in their sleep. I could get her up immediately and she'd be dry. It was probably 5 out of 6 days in a row that she'd be dry. It was great! However... I realized that she was sleeping on average 1.5 hours less per night since she'd sometimes go back to sleep except that she was yanked out of bed quickly. That meant she was sleeping around 8 hours per night instead of 9-10 which meant I got 7 or fewer hours per night. Not good for either of us! So I quit that endeavor!

23 months. This was when the real potty training began. I decided on a modified version of the 3 day method. By this point, I'd collected about 10 blueberry trainers. These are semi-waterproof. They'd basically catch one pee so as long as she wasn't sitting on something that would absorb (couch or floor) then it was fine. It might mean a new pair of pants but no big deal. Daddy still was "very disappointed" when she wet her underwear so I decided to keep her in diapers whenever he was around. Unfortunately (for this), it was right between Christmas and New Year's so he took most days off work. That made our training less consistent and harder. I could still do it periodically though. No doubt it was really frustrating for me on some days. I really wondered if she was making any progress but there would be fewer accidents or smaller accidents and I stuck with it as much as our life would reasonably allow.

She was basically trained by her 2nd birthday but I didn't have the guts to keep her in "unders" through her birthday party. About a week later, she had gone 48 hours completely dry, including night. That's when I consider her trained.

A couple of weeks later (end of january), we took a 2 hour car trip so we put her in a diaper. It was dry when we got there (and changed her to underwear), but we weren't confident enough by that point to go without back up. That might have been the last time she wore a diaper at all.

We'd also switched to going diaper-less at night. There are some theories about night training but this post is long enough as it is. In short, she's still not completely night trained. She doesn't wear diapers but there are sometimes accidents.

So the answer in short is, "She trained at 24 months with a modified version of the 3-day method." :)

Potty successes!

2011-01-26T21:45:00.000-08:00

January 26th, 21:43

Elaine's is doing really well with potty training. She did have one accident today so we're not there yet, but she's making great progress.

She took herself to the bathroom many times today but I always go along to help. Today, she announced, ran herself to the bathroom, turned on the light, moved the stool into position, took off her undies, and got on the potty herself. All this is fairly common. But then she hopped up to get herself toilet paper, plopped back on the potty to wipe, and then put on her undies again. I'm not sure how well she wiped (she just turned 2 after all) but she used an appropriate amount of toilet paper and didn't make a big mess. I think I just tried not to look too shocked as I stared from across the room. (And then I went in to make sure any droplets were cleaned up.)

Then we went out on a playdate with a little friend. We've been out on errands in underwear before, but never a fun event in a foreign place. (It was a kid's play gym we'd never been to but the friend had free trial passes.) Anyway, we were there 2 hours and I took her to the bathroom (much to her dismay) but she wouldn't use it. From there, we went to the post office so I could mail packages. She stayed dry! As we were leaving, I asked if she wanted me to find a potty or just hurry home. She told me to find a potty. (I was sure she'd say to just go home since she hates public potties.) I told her again that we'd be home in just a few minutes but she said potty. So we went a few stores down to a bookstore and she spotted the bathroom from across the room, "There it is!" We got there, still dry, and she protested for a moment about the public restroom but used it immediately when I assured her it wasn't an autoflush potty. Then we went home.

Many hours later, she's still kept her "unders" dry.

Cloth trainers = money savers

2011-01-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

January 16th, 17:15

I don't think cloth diapers necessarily save money. It CAN be a money saver but it could also cost more. However, cloth trainers are far more cost effective than disposable trainers. (Of course, some people don't use trainers at all. I'll post why we are in another post.)

Anyway, if we were using something like pull-ups and changing them as often as I change her cloth trainers, I'd be spending $5-$10 per day. Yikes! She's at the stage now where she's making it to the potty often not always (and sometimes not noticing), or starting to pee but stopping to run to the potty and finishing there. This means she tells me they are wet but I have to do a fair amount of investigating before I find that wet droplet. I can throw trainers in the laundry so it's not a big deal (except for my time) but something like pull-ups would be 50 cents for that droplet. I am not really sure I wouldn't put the pull-up back on her. Of course, she probably wouldn't notice a drop in a pull-up since those are really diapers so it'd be less effective in terms of potty learning anyway, but that's a different discussion. :)

9 month Review: Diapers used daily

2010-11-21T21:59:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010

bumGenius AIOs B--
This is the majority of our stash and what we use regularly. Mediums during the day and larges at night with 1-2 extra hemp doublers. Effective for preventing leaks. (Mostly. But we have had trouble with wicking if an edge isn't turned in quite right and repelling with washing issues. After identifying and rectifying those issues, we've only had a handful of leaks in the last several months. Still more than we had in the year of sposies, but not too bad.) The fit is good and she seems comfortable in them. I like that the insides are smooth (since rubbing is an issue for us) and that I can add more absorbency easily.

The aplix (velcro) though, is really annoying. I mean, I love the ease to put it on and take it off. Even though my toddler can do it, this is a pro. She helps get herself undressed for bath time or can take them off when she needs to go potty. However, the dang things do NOT stay on their "laundry tabs" while washing. (Most of my mediums have laundry tabs that are smaller than the hook side so they stand almost no chance of sticking.) Consequently, they end up stuck to each other, scratching the waterproof outside (no leaking through yet, but it's only a matter of time), and tangling up with anything else I dare to put in the diaper load. It really gets me when I have to rip one of her darling little pairs of underwear off diaper, doing obvious damage. (These are cheap, but doing unnecessary damage to them makes me sad every time. I threw a few of my not-so-cheap nursing bras in the laundry with the diapers once-- boy did I regret that!) The damage from the aplix has also made the resale value much lower. The diapers are still functional so they probably can be resold but not for as much as I was led to believe initially. Of course, disposables have zero resale value so some is better than none. I just understand why people swear by snaps now. (Prefolds and fitteds with snappis would be similar.) It might take a little longer putting them on the kid but you don't have the laundry frustrations.

Hemp doublers A+
Still happy with these. They are thin, absorb well, and are in basically the same condition as when I got them, with the exception of the 2 my washing machine tried to eat. That wasn't the doublers fault though. We add these to her nighttime diapers and this works well. Definitely adds a lot of absorbency for virtually no bulk.

9 month review: Diapers not used often

2010-11-21T21:58:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010

These are the other diapers and accessories that we still have but rarely use.

Sposoeasy all in one with snaps B
We don't use this often because the tongue can contribute to my kid's rash and it doesn't fit her well (large gap around the tummy) but it has held up well. Probably a great diaper option for kids who fit in it properly and don't mind the tongue bunchiness. Actually, it'd probably bunch less if my kid were bigger around the middle and better matched the shape of the diaper design.

Swaddlebees Fleece Cover A-
I was initially a little bit disappointed that the pretty fleece pilled up immediately. However, that doesn't seem to have affected its effectiveness. It still seems comfortable on my kiddo, washes up in the washing machine well and dries quickly, and the velcro tabs aren't as obnoxious as others. I think I'd like this one a little bit more if it were snaps. The two step process of put something absorbent on and then slap the cover on my kid is often impractical. An infant size prefold trifolded in the cover works pretty well, but putting all that together is harder than the AIOs. (Remember that I'm changing a squirmy toddler on my lap while sitting on the edge of a bathtub since all changes happen in the bathroom.) I think I'm basically a fan of fleece though.

Bummas Wipes B
I got these free for making some suggestions on their website and they sent me a pack as a thank you. I was really excited. I figured we use them for everything for years to come. They don't seem to be holding up terribly well though. They're still fine and can cer, but not the fabulous product I thought they were. They're my favorite of the cloth wipes we've used, but I think that just means they're better than that one flannel one I was sent as a bonus once.

Easy to Bum fitteds with snaps
We just got these so I really can't say much. They are reasonably absorbent. They seem comfortable. They don't have any velcro so there's no washing issues. They require a cover so they're a little more work to put on than an all-in-one, but not too bad. My kid seems to really like them but I can't figure out why (colorful snaps?) but my husband thinks that having to unsnap the peed on diaper is the worst idea ever. He doesn't change many diapers so I don't want to give him an excuse to change fewer, but these are probably not a bad idea for people not married to my husband and aren't as squeamish about a little urine.

Grobaby all-in-two (now Grovia) C-
Eh. Doesn't fit her so leaks around the legs. I only use it when I'm in desperate need for a cover or don't really think she needs to pee in the near future but want a little more protection than her running around naked. The velcro was fine initially but doesn't stay stuck in the laundry at all.

bumGenius Pocket diaper C
I don't like pockets but I got this on ebay before I knew that. We also don't have an official insert for it since it didn't come with one and didn't seem worth them money when I knew I didn't like pockets. This is for emergency use only. We'll stick a prefold in it. This mostly gets used when she goes potty in the middle of dinner and we know she'll be taking a bath right after dinner so it doesn't seem worth using a "good" diaper.

9 month review: Underwear and training pants

2010-11-21T21:56:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010

Gerber plastic pants A
For what these are supposed to be, these are great. My husband calls them the shower cap with leg holes. They're certainly no frills. I've been using them over her underwear when we're practicing for potty training so if she has an accident, it's contained. Since she really isn't potty trained, she's had quite a few accidents. NONE have leaked. Zero. (Now, I only use these when sje's up and running around so it's really obvious the instant she goes.) We only have 2 and I don't use them often (though they've probably been used a couple dozen times each) and I always hand wash them so they've held up well. I just sent them through the washing machine (maybe for the first time? maybe I did that initially but I don't remember) since my husband complained they smelled like stale pee. These run about $1.50 each and that's about the quality they are. Not fancy. Not worth saving for the next kid. But effectiveness for under $2?! If I'd come up with this plan at 13 months around the time she was semi-potty trained (she's less so now) and outgrew the pampers swaddlers, I might not have tried cloth. Or perhaps I'd have had a different focus. Oh, and she is using 12 mo size over her undies which are still very roomy since they are designed to go over diapers.

Elmo underwear A
Fruit of the loom or some generic brand. She saw them in the store and wanted them when she was about 16 months old. They're 2t but fit her fine. No absorbency at all but the motivation to keep Elmo dry seems useful. I couple these with the aforementioned plastic pants for around the house. I think she's only gone out in them once and she stayed dry for that short excursion.

Wool underwear
I don't know what to think of these. They seem to fit ok. We got them because she was the right size tester and potty training (many months ago) but do I put them over something absorbent? There isn't really elastic on the legs so I think they'd leak (and did, the one time I tried them over undies) and I'm not sure they'd be comfortable alone. Lanolizing was no big deal though so perhaps there is hope for me and wool.

Gerber training pants
These are more absorbent than just plain undies but won't hold a full pee. I got her 18 mo size many months ago and they fit her around but were really tall. Comfortable and soft enough. But don't have elmo on them so there's less motivation to keep them dry in our case. :) I suspect we'll use these more as she's closer to fully potty trained and these will work for little leaks.

9 month review: detergent

2010-11-21T21:54:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010

Tide Free F
This made a mess of our diapers and caused serious stink and repelling issues. Some websites said it was fine because it was the "free" version and a lot of people on a CD website recently listed that as their detergent so it must work for some but it was certainly not fine for our diapers and hard water. Worked for the first couple of months but then it was disaster.

Crunchy Clean
I just had a sample of this so I used it for a half dozen washes. Seemed fine but then there was an issue when I ordered more and I ended up using Rockin Green instead.

Rockin Green Detergent A
Definitely good. Helped solve our laundry-related problems like wicking and leaking. It comes in nice scents but that doesn't really matter since they rinse out of the clothes. (It hadn't occurred to me that that nice smell left on clothes is really detergent residue.) My husband is the bigger fan, I think. He now advocates it for most of our clothes. It got stains out of shirts that he hadn't been able to get out for years. We've used it to clean the carpet and other household things because it's safer than other chemical cleaners. (We also got a bag from a bad batch that didn't fully mix so they replaced it but suggested we use this to clean stuff around the house.) I don't feel like it's the miracle product that I read so many reviews about, but it's definitely pretty darn good.

Impressions of snaps

2010-11-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

November 21st, 2010

When I got up with the kiddo at 3:30am, I decided to change her diaper. (Both getting up and middle of the night changes are unusual now.) Anyway, she didn't want a diaper change... until she came up with the idea of a diaper with snaps. That would be fine. I was in no mood to argue so I tried to figure out how to accommodate her.

We only have 2 types with snaps. One is a sposoeasy which doesn't fit her around the belly so is fine when she's upright, but no good when she's sleeping on her face and just pees out the top-- and it was currently soaking in the washing machine. The other is the fitted diaper we got a couple of weeks ago that my husband declared the worst diaper ever.

Since I was in no mood to argue in the middle of the night, I decided to put the fitted on her. But we don't have any covers that fit right and our best option, the fleece cover, was in the washing machine soaking. I finally decided that I'd use the large bumGenius all-in-one. It's the largest diaper we own and she usually wears a medium so I figured that might be big enough.

It took some work, but I finally got all of the fitted to stay inside the BG. It meant it was a little tighter around her than I'd typically make it, but she didn't seem to mind. Leak potential was high since only the edge of the fitted had to wiggle outside the cover and then pee would wick out. But I figured that was the risk I'd have to take and she isn't usually peeing at night anyway so it might be dry by morning.

This morning: dry bed and sheets (whoo!) and slightly moist diaper that she probably used after we woke up. I took the diapers off carefully and then started laughing. She had 10 round circles imprinted across her stomach from the back of the snaps. Ha! They didn't look painful but it wasn't something I'd considered for snaps before. I doubt most people would be putting on a cover so tightly though.

Wee One's Easy to Bum Diapers

2010-11-13T22:01:00.000-08:00

November 13th, 2010

I won a 3 pack of Wee One's Easy to Bum Diapers.

They're really no frills fitted diapers. (In other words, they are shaped like a disposable but don't have a waterproof exterior and require a cover.) They have a bunch of snaps that could have been put together in the dark by someone color blind-- functional and well placed, but no reason for the mix of colors in the various snaps. They're also a bit thick but seem soft and both times I've picked one up, my little on has ripped off her current diaper to request that one. Maybe she likes the crazy colored snaps! :)

I thought I really liked these when I opened the package. I was excited that they claimed I could use them after 1 wash, but they wouldn't be fully absorbent until 3. As soon as I got them out of the washer and showed one to my husband, my daughter fought to put it on. After a few minutes, I switched her to her night time diaper (bg aio with extra hemp doubler) but she'd already peed in the fitted. It held it well and didnt leak though, but it probably would have soon.

Anyway, when she requested it again, I put a fleece cover over it and it seemed like the softest diaper solution we have (and also the thickest). My daughter seemed happy enough and enjoyed this through dinner.

Then my husband took her to the bathroom after dinner for a bath and took off her diaper.

"Ew. Ew ew ew ew!"
"What?"
"This is just disgusting. I have to unsnap this pee-soaked diaper?"
"Oh."
"This is horrible! This is the worst product ever. How did we not see this coming? Ew!"

His reaction was so extreme it was funny, but he does have a point. Fitted diapers run the risk of soaking through to the closures. Possibly not a good plan for the elimination-squeamish.

So even though we might use this from time to time, I don't think I'll be getting many more of them. If this is the kind of thing you're looking for, it seems like a good product and they are inexpensive. Under $100 for a pack of 10-12, depending on size.

Laundry Day

2010-11-12T22:02:00.000-08:00

Laundry Day

: diapertrials; November 12th, 2010

It's 10:30am and I'm in panic mode for diapers. I'll have to make those top priority or I risk not having a night time diaper ready by the time she goes to bed 12 hours from now. I would say my laundry routine is cold rinse, hot wash/cold rinse, extra rinse, dry 2 cycles.

In reality, this is actually a lot (it's a lot less than it used to be!) and given that my washer/dryer are outside and it's not really safe for my toddler to come with me given the (filthy) air conditioner on the balcony (and her ability to climb over), I either need to carry her or find something for her to do inside and hope she doesn't get into anything else while I'm outside. We've worked out a "game" where she peaks out the door under the blinds which sometimes works, but other times she get into something else or come outside, which means her feet are dirty (not a big deal until I get dirty feet in my face while nursing later). So it's doable, but laundry is a little bit stressful for me.

Anyway, this is how diaper laundry actually looked today:
10:30 Put the diapers out in the washing machine for a rinse on cold, extracting inserts and affixing velcro to tabs. Come inside to the pile of ribbons, bows, stickers and tissue paper that my daughter got into while I was outside with the laundry (approved toy, but big mess)
10:40 Throw an additional diaper that was still in the bathroom
10:42 Throw an additional dipe in from the other bathroom (and feel dumb that there were TWO diapers I missed.) Peel stickers off the couch when I come back in.
12 pm Turn on an Elmo clip on YouTube and race outside to turn the BG AIOs inside out and peel the diapers off each other (since the laundry tabs on half my bg aios are smaller than the velcro so they always end up tangled). Turn on hot cycle and leave the lid open to soak with 2 tbsp of Rockin Green. Chase my daughter back inside 3 times. Wash pee smell off my hands. Wipe her feet.
12:30 Run back out carrying the kiddo to shut the lid, let it agitate for a moment, and stop the cycle to let it soak more.
3:30 Run out to actually start the wash. Leave for grocery store.
5:45 pm Add a few towels and run laundry again with 1 tbsp rockin green. (I used to do just an extra rinse but found I could do a full load again with a few towels and those would end up clean and my diapers would dry faster in the dryer. Otherwise, 2 cycles doesn't cut it.) Chase toddler back inside and take off her socks since she ran out without shoes on.
7pm Put on a Sesame Street clip on YouTube and run out to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer.

I'm about to make dinner so I won't get to restart it until after we are done eating. The 2nd dryer cycle will probably start at about 9pm. Fortunately, since I threw in extra towels, there will be dry diapers by about 10pm. Otherwise, 2 cycles wouldn't be sufficient for the AIOs which is what we like to use with an extra hemp insert for night time. Anyway, this will work out tonight. But if I hadn't started the washer before I left for the grocery store, I might be in more of a bind. (Makes me really wonder about that argument from cloth diaper advocates that "you'll never have to run to the grocery store when you run out of diapers"... Trip to the grocery store took an hour, laundry took all day.) Anyway, this is doable, but does take a significant amount of mental energy. It doesn't take that much actual work time, but it takes up resources. I think this is a lot less logistically challenging for others, though it could also certainly be worse.

Edit: I decided to run the dryer again sooner to be sure we have a diaper ready in time so I ran out at about 8:30 with my husband yelling, "What are you doing?! We're right in the middle of dinner!" Diapers were done at 9:15. About 11 hours today. They still smell faintly of pee (if I hold it right up to my nose) which really takes an all night soak to get rid of. Ideally, I do the initial rinse at night and soak all night and that means the diapers take up laundry resources for about 24 hours, though I could do it a bit faster if I really needed to. Realistically, I don't get them going again until I'm showered and dressed (again, out on the balcony where many people can see me... not that I *can't* go out in pjs, just often don't) so that means I start the night before and don't get back to it again until about 11am which only puts it slightly ahead of today's schedule.