Popthomology

COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH ZAPPA COUGH COUGH COUGH

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 05:54:00 +0000

My day was spent like this:

"COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCAAAAAAAAAAAACAKCAKCAKCAKRRRRRRPPPPTTCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCAAAAAAAAA..."

ad infinitum.

So today my poor phlegm-drenched lungs and I bring you this cool little rock novelty -- a 1967 Ludens Cough Drops commercial with music done by none other than Frank Zappa, who was paid $2000 for his work by the animator. It won that year's Clio Award for "Best Use Of Sound."

I don't know if Ludens is in business now, but if you want to bring me a box of those cherry ones, however old they are, I'll take 'em.

1967 Ludens Cough Drops Commercial

MARTINI SCORSESE, DISINTEGRATING DRUMSET, & ABRAHAM'S ASS: BRUISE CRUISE PART TWO

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 23:44:00 +0000

Continuing on with fab Bruise Cruise coverage from PART ONE, we find ourselves back again at The Stage in Miami for the second night of Kickoff Party shows, and the lineup is KILLAH KOOL: Jacuzzi Boys, The Soft Pack, King Khan & The Shrines, Thee Oh Sees, and Fucked Up. Ohboyohboyohboy!!

Having seen and loved the JBs, The Soft Pack, and Thee Oh Sees previously here in Seattle, I had a pretty solid idea of how nutty the night would get, and knew that King Khan and Fucked Up would only raise the bar. As we walked into the club, I noticed several clusters of people that...hmm...didn't look like they would be here to see a band called Fucked Up. Dapper elderly men in crisp blue suits, doyennes in gold jewelry and elegant poufy hairdos, what?? I asked around a bit and it turned out that The Stage was hosting another event that seemed to be overlapping a bit. I smirked thinking how fast they would clear out as soon as the Jacuzzis started blasting sonic waves at them, because I am actually 12 years old. Also in refreshing immaturity, we briefly plotted to attempt a prank to convince the JB's that the mysterious and unknown "Jacuzzi Gals" of so-very-NSFW "Glazin'" video fame were actually their own mothers, but then decided it would be too psychologically damaging and fatally hilarious.

Hurray! In walked Suzi Pratt, my friend and fellow writer/photog from Seattle! Suzi and I decided that Seattle would officially be representing the Stage Left Side Corner, our backs protected by the placement of a cushy couch, and our fronts protected by ridiculously-expensive camera lenses. Let the music begin!

Playing to a boisterous, happy hometown crowd, the Jacuzzi Boys set the pace for the night, and it was FAST, like Ramones-fast, and surfy-fun.

Fan video!

Jacuzzi Boys, "Glazin'" The Stage, Miami 2/9/12

(Jacuzzi Boys Miami Flickr set)

Next up were the Soft Pack, who always look very serious and play very loudly. Serious and loud would seem like good qualities for a metal band, but I really cannot imagine these guys in studded leather and mullet perms. Well, OK, I can, because I am actually 12 years old. I stopped shooting during "Parasites" so's I could dance in my little floor space. The Soft Pack's California sound reminds me of a beach party populated by Midwestern runaway girls, semi-shady surfers, and cigarettes smoked under the pier.

(The Soft Pack Miami Flickr set)

As King Khan & the Shrines were setting up, I wondered how they were going to fit all those band members on the tiny stage -- there's a whole lot o' Shrines. And then...SLAMMO! Like the running of the bulls, the band and the crowd exploded into instant frenzy and chaos, people tumbling into each other while the magnificently-feathered and bespangled King shouted like he was presiding over a sweaty, take-no-prisoners soul review of days past. SMASH! Guitarist Mr. Speedfinger meant business, dangerously balancing a black-shod foot at the edge of the stage where Suzi and I stood, sending the glass bottles, plastic cups, and beer cans that had been sitting there flying. Most of the set Suzi and I were avoiding decapitation from his guitar headstock which swung violently a foot or so over our heads, although admittedly, that would have been be a cool way to go.

(King Khan & The Shrines Miami Flickr set)

The Nutty Bar was raised to Olympic levels for Thee Oh Sees set, courtesy fans still wild off the preceding three bands, malfunctioning gear, and This Guy:

See Martini Scorsese there in the striped shirt? He decided that his place for the night was ON the stage -- not next TO, not right BY, but ON THE ACTUAL MINUSCULE STAGE WITH THE BANDS. This can be amusing for, like, 20 seconds, but after that, not so much. He was so wasted that he almost took out the Marshall amp behind him -- twice -- weaved and wobbled into everyone, wouldn't leave when told to, kept trying to get the attention of the band members by awesomely extending his PBR towards them and talking, and finally exhausted the near-saintly patience of Thee Oh Sees drummer Mike Shoun and earned a shove off the stage. I cheered.

Ever seen a guy beat his drums to death? Poor Lars Finberg. As the second drummer for Thee Oh Sees, he had borrowed a kit for this gig that was one of those rack deals, and as the manic set went along, the frame slowly began to collapse. Despite his best efforts to ameliorate the carnage, and the grand gesture from the stalwart and burly fan who to tried to physically hold the frame steady for him, eventually the damn thing fell apart. When one of the cymbals also turned wrong-side-out, I nearly collapsed from laughter at the sight of it all. Fortunately, Thee Oh Sees are pros with a sense of humor, so they just continued on, and Lars played with what remained playable. I clicked and danced.

Covered in sweat, beer, Other People's Sweat, and Mundet Manzana Verde soda, after Thee Oh Sees I cleaned off my glasses and steadied up for Fucked Up. The most straight-up punk band of Bruise Cruise, Toronto's Fucked Up landed on the top of many 2011 music lists with "David Comes To Life," a genre-busting themed epic: a 90-minute rock opera with a dark and dense storyline, anguished vocals, and furious guitar work. Singer Damian Abraham, a large and imposing gentleman, is known for his stage antics, which have included running offstage out to the street, into a stranger's apartment, and singing from a opened window. As aggressive as Fucked Up's music is, Abraham is genial and funny, and also was serving as Bruise Cruise Director and General MC.

Abraham wasted no time after taking the stage, and the band tore into its set. Could I make out a word he sang? Hell, no, but it didn't matter.This was a purely animal experience; bodies and noise and movement. Abraham decided early on that he could use a little "cool off," and ran out the open end of the club to the patio as the rain poured down, apparently rolling in a rather frightening-looking puddle. He came back onstage, stripped down to his underwear, which he squeezed the excess water from right there. More crazy ensued, from singing from the bar, writhing on the floor, and wrapping his mic cord around his eyes. The crowd loved it all.

(Fucked Up Miami Flickr set)

(KEXP Bruise Cruise article and KEXP Flickr set)

Somewhere in the early morning hours, the party ended, and we headed back home. This had already been a spectacular experience, and we hadn't even BEEN ON THE BOAT YET! Holy crap! In Part Three, we head for Nassau on a HUGE WEIRD SHIP! Stay tuned!

GUEST POST: THE INTERNET FRIEND

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 23:31:00 +0000

(I woke up this morning to find this in my email inbox. I hope all of you are fortunate enough have a friend like this in your lives. Amazing. PS. Stacy didn't mention that I commandeered her son's room, probably gave her entire family a cold, that I take an hour or more to get ready to do anything, and constantly whined about coffee. We must keep some balance here.)

The Internet Friend
by Guest Poster Stacy B.

There are many many reasons why having my internet best friend become one of my real best friends has improved my life, but i thought i would create a stream of consciousness list to eleven about Marianne, so you can understand her better. You see, most blokes, you know would make a list to ten. But for Marianne Sp we need that extra push over the cliff…

1. Within 3 minutes of meeting Marianne she said to me, "Look at my motherfucking hair!" Best Friends Foreva as the kids say.

2. I have witnessed Marianne Sp sleeping in a suspended crib on the Good Ship Bruise Cruise. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

3. We have experienced together the joy of the greatest Pina Colada ever made on the Bahamian Island of Nassau. Even as close friends I don't think either one of us would have shared one sip with the other. In fact, if she tried, I would have scratched her eyes out.

4.There is not one hour of the day that one of us is not up. I am an obnoxiously early riser and she never goes to sleep, so, we are watching and taking care of the world for all of you. Sleep soundly knowing that.

5. If you ever fall down drunk near us, even if we only hear you fall, we will both laugh until someone pees.

6. Her children are a dream.

7. She is the hardest working photographer in rock and roll, even as a photographer myself I don't feel the need to bring my gear…she's got it covered.

8. Even though she's a big badass, her midwest comes shining through. We may not cut in line, even when we HAVE TO GET OFF THIS BOAT!

9. I AM the designated driver!

10. We will both never wear a bikini! Also, we are both not into Girls, although I love the band!

11. One day, me and my friend will RULE THE WORLD!

Now go out and find your own internet friend!

(photo by Monica McGivern)

I GOT ON A BOAT & LIVED TO TELL: BRUISE CRUISE 2012, PART ONE

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 05:55:00 +0000

I wasn't exactly the kind of person you'd expect to attend, for a lot of different reasons.

I live about as far away as it's possible to get in the Continental United States from the Port of Miami.

I have three kids at home, a very large dog, and Adult Responsibilities.

My passport expired in 1997.

I'm about double the age of the average attendee.

I can't wear my own old '80s clothes ironically, which excludes me from being a hipster.

I have no tattoos, nor have ever desired to acquire any.

I stopped smoking in 1981.

I have never, ever wanted to go on a cruise before.

Yet, despite all those daunting facts, nothing was gonna stop me from GETTING ON THE BOAT. Yes, kiddies, I'm here to tell you that I did indeed TOTALLY attend the 2nd annual floating garage-punk-comedy-craziness music festival known as Bruise Cruise! Why did I go? Are you kidding me? Look at the musical lineup!

These are my favorite bands! To be able to go somewhere, anywhere -- even on a damn boat -- and see so many of the musicians I love the most is just THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. Some people might see a shrink, some people might chew Xanax Gummies...I go to garage rock shows and the world is set right once again. Now, put that together with the uniquely amazing photographic opportunities of 500 punks and hipsters sailing on the huge Carnival Imagination cruise ship along with 1500 other "normal" people to the Bahamas? COME ON, MAN! I am exactly the kind of person to attend! So, I renewed my passport with a picture of New Old Me, packed up the camera gear, and flew down to Florida, not exactly sure how everything would turn out, but certain at the least music would be good, eh? No, not good...GREAT! Let's GO!

(The lovely Michelle Cable of Panache Booking (Cable and Jonas "Adonis of the Sea" Stein of Turbo Fruits are Bruise Cruise co-founders and tireless organizers) kindly gave Popthomology press creds [Popthomology = ME-dia, if you want a pun, and you do]. I did double-duty and also shot for Seattle's own legendary radio station, KEXP, so my coverage is split between here and there, with swooping savior KEXP writing from fellow Seattle writer/photog Suzi Pratt. You can see the article HERE and my KEXP Flickr set HERE!)

Cable and Stein kept adding more STUFF to the lineup, which of course is nothing but good, and also meant that the long weekend at sea was going to be extended for TWO nights of pre-cruise concerts in Miami on February 8th and 9th, free for Bruisers and 20 bucks or so for the local landlubbers. But first things first...a check-in mixer to get my wristbands and Bruise Cruise swag bag filled with custom-cool 7" split singles, sunglasses, pens, temp tats, and more at the Gibson showroom in Miami's design district.

A quick pop back to the house of friends Rob and Stacy, then back to rainy night Miami to The Stage, a cozy club with comfy couches, sparkling chandeliers, and an open patio area that possibly seemed more suited to suits than brutes, but no matter. We'd had a bit of a late start, so arrived just a few minutes before the first-ever performance of garage-cover superband the Togas, made up of baby-faced multi-band wiz-kid (and Unofficial Bruise Cruise 2012 Party Boy) Ty Segall, Philip Sambol of the Strange Boys, Shannon Shaw from Shannon and the Clams, and Lance Wille from Reigning Sound. Bruisers were asked to pick their favorites from a list of potential classic garage and punk anthems for the Togas to perform, and I was MEGA-STOKED to hear how it would all turn out.

Appearing in actual togas, which the men of the band seemed to have trouble keeping in place, the Togas fearlessly ripped through their set, fumbles, broken strings, and epic god and goddess moves included. This was one of those shows where I had to stop myself from dancing like a maniac so I could get some decent photos. Ty got right up in mah grill at one point, smiling evilly, while I just giggled. For your listening enjoyment, I'm also including a video shot by a fellow fan of the Togas performing a white-hot version of the 13th Floor Elevators' "You're Gonna Miss Me," one of my favorite songs of all time and my fave of the set.

The Togas, "You're Gonna Miss Me"

(The Togas Miami Flickr set)

I was so hyper after the Togas I had some trouble settling down to watch Miss Pussycat's puppet show. It's understandable. We begged off early, deciding to rest up for what would surely be one insane night on the 9th.

Adult Responsibilities will make Bruise Cruise 2012 a multi-day coverage event here on the blarg -- think of it as prolonging the magic! More preshow party fun tomorrow!

TOTEM PAL

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 18:27:00 +0000

OK, I'd say MissNine has outdone herself here.

IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: BEACHY KEEN

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 06:12:00 +0000

Progress made today on getting more Bruise Cruise photos processed and up so's I can write about it, but not enough progress so's I can write about it, so's I'm gonna put up some more purty photos from our trip to South Florida. This time, the theme is The Beach, and these pics are from Hollywood and Key Biscayne. I might also inform you that SoFla seagulls are VERY PROACTIVE. The More You Know.

SPAM POEMS 16

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 17:54:00 +0000

(Oh, come on, Spambot! Like I couldn't publish this masterwork from you!)

When Trudy and Mark were alone, Mark confided,
"You know I've been loyal to my overwhelming. "
As she approached Mike's place, her heart started pounding wildly again
An abandoned rhythm to match
Always on a pedestal above mortals.

Seething sound of flakes seemed to press in on all sides of the car at was you?

" you."

PHOTOS: THE 33 1/3S, BLUE BAR, HOLLYWOOD, FL. 2/17/12

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:01:00 +0000

Forgive the lateness of my post today -- long day of travel from Florida back to Seattle-ish. All family members are now tucked in to their beddies at this hour of the night, except for Mama, who can be found processing photos and smiling at a glowing laptop. Rob, Kenny, and Pete make up Hollywood, Florida's very own garage punk rock n' roll band, The 33 1/3s, and I had a blast seeing them play in a tiny local bar with family and friends cheering them on. I had rehearsed with them earlier in my trip and was very timidly thinking about singing the Who's "I Can't Explain" as a Guest 33 1/3, but my hacky cold and nerves got the better of me. I got two dedications from the stage, which made me all verklempt and undoubtedly confused the crowd, which is always a good thing. I did bring my camera, if not my nerve, so I bring you these photos, and now will fling myself into my own beddy, with a huge sigh.

(The 33 1/3s Flickr set)

POST-MIDNIGHT CAT FIGHT

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 06:24:00 +0000

When there is no internet to be had in Flo-da and we little people named Dena are already halfway to bed, the only reasonable solution is to share with all of you lovely people this very funny video that showed up in my YouTube recommendations. Because, after all, who doesn't love a good cat fight? The director, Ornsack (Dave Brain) also has a tumblr, here, filled with more pugilistic feline entertainments. You should check it out. I believe Marianne would approve.

MINI-PHOTO ESSAY: VIZCAYA, FLOWERS, & 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 05:52:00 +0000

Today's outing on our family vacation to South Florida was to the grand and gorgeous Vizcaya Museum & Gardens in Miami. The estate was built in 1916 by Very Rich Person James Deering, and is now owned by Miami-Dade County and is an official National Historic Landmark. On this beautiful President's Day afternoon, we found the grounds not only lovely, but seriously taken over by young girls celebrating their Quinceañeras in fancy formal gowns, models, and brides surrounded by packs of pro photographers and their erstwhile assistants holding reflectors and other gear. It was easier getting around the interior of the mansion with all the ropes and gates and no-no touch signs that the huge grounds for trying to avoid stepping in shots! Wild.

Anyway, another no-no was any photography inside the estate, so me and the point n' shoot were relegated to the great outdoors. Click on any photos to enlarge and please to enjoy!

IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: THE FORT LAUDERDALE WATER TAXI DAY

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 05:52:00 +0000

'I wanna get on a boat!"

That was Mr13's response to the question I asked him yesterday, which was, "What do you want to do?" Fair enough -- we'll find you a boat, buddy! Our Florida hotel concierge had a $450 boat rental she wanted to sell us, which we firmly declined, and then she lost interest in us. Fair enough -- our boat experience instead was the much more reasonably priced Water Taxi, which runs from Hollywood to Fort Lauderdale back and forth on the Intracoastal Waterway. So, on a lovely 80-degree day we set out on our modest boat adventure.

We had to head south a bit through Hollywood to pick up some more passengers before swinging around and heading north to Fort Lauderdale. At Joe's Tiki Hut there were more people wanting to board than we had seats, so one of the boat crew announced that in a scant 15 minutes another Water Taxi would be coming by -- a double-decker with a bathroom and fruity drinks -- and if we wanted to get off and wait for that, we could do so to make room for others now. Fifteen minutes...hmm, I thought, that's not so bad, and fruity drinks are yum. So we got off. What Mr. Boat Crew Guy neglected to tell us was that yes, another Water Taxi would indeed be coming by in 15 minutes, but it WOULDN'T BE STOPPING. It took a full HOUR of waiting in the hot sun for the promised boat to return. Grr.

Once we got onboard and got a nice breeze going, we felt better. The Intracoastal is pretty, and there are lots of nature-y and boaty sights to see.

Switched boats to head up towards the city to our final destination of Las Olas, a nice shopping/dining area in Fort Lauderdale. We were all ooh-ing and aah-ing over the beautiful homes.

Off the boat we went! We were starvin' by this time and ended up at a great restaurant right by the water: Wild East Asian Bistro. We had tuna sushi, spring rolls, curry chicken udon, and so much more, including a sake flight for Mama. Oh, it was so so good!

After that, we walked down Las Olas, I bought two pair of shoes, we ate gelato, then had friend Stacy come pick us up. Later on, we ate delicious Cuban food and nearly exploded from overload of delicious. Good day.

GUEST VIDEO: THE POOL

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 05:08:00 +0000

Our family vacation has been immeasurably enhanced by both perfect sunny weather and the wonderful company of new friends. One such friend, young Master Ethan B., took my Panasonic DMC-TS3 for a spin through our hotel pool and I thought his photo/video efforts suited this cool psychedelic groove by White Fence perfectly. Cameo appearances by Mr13 and MissNine included, no extra charge.

Thanks, E!

"The Pool," video/photos by Ethan B., music by White Fence

AS PROMISED...NOW UP ON KEXP...BRUISE CRUISE 2012!

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 17:17:00 +0000

Woo hoo! So excited to share with you the best of my Bruise Cruise 2012 photos with the sweet wordsmithery of fellow Seattle writer/photog Suzi Pratt, now up on KEXP! At this year's Deck the Hall Ball as Suzi and I were in the photo pit getting ready to shoot, I, with many grand gestures and exclamations, told Suzi I'd be attending the 2nd annual garage punk rock Miami-to-Nassau boat concert/extravaganza. I used even more gestures and exclamations to try to convince her to attend as well, and was so thrilled when she told me she gave in to general insanity and booked her passage! She ended up directly across the hall from me on the ship, and we had a blast. Suzi so graciously stepped in last minute to write and format the post for KEXP, and I owe her at the very least a makeshift shrine consisting of a fruity drink, earplugs, a neon tube, and a sparkly Speedo.

Over the five days of the event (2 pre-show concerts in Miami, 1 day in Nassau, and 2 days on the ship), I shot thousands of photos. It was challenging, exhausting, and a total blast, with fantastic performances, weirdness everywhere, and great company with old and new pals. As always, YOU are always on my mind and in my heart when I am photographing anything. I want you to see what I see, go where I go, and hopefully feel what it was like to be there, whether you were a fellow Bruiser, wished you could be one, or prefer your insanity from a safe distance! I'll write more about the experience when I return home to Seattle-ish next week, and put up more photos, too.

For now, please to enjoy Bruise Cruise 2012 HERE on KEXP and HERE on my KEXP Flickr set!

IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: SOFLA CHILLIN'

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 02:55:00 +0000

Another mellow day at our SoFla hotel with Sick 1 and Sick 2 (MissNine and myself), but not so sick that we couldn't get out for two lovely meals, and a little pool time. As usual, iPhone cam takes you where I go, but without the cold germs.

Goodyear Blimp!

It was weird to see these seagulls drinking the water...then I figured out it was a saline water pool, derr.

Cool shirt, bro. Eat your waffle!

NO PROBLEM.

IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: HOW I SPENT MY SNOTCATION

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Well, OF COURSE it would NEVER HAPPEN that I would have a family vacation without someone getting sick! Winding down from Bruise Cruise here in Florida, I immediately came down with a cold, and poor MissNine has an even worse one, fever and all. She even threw up in the rental car parking lot late last night, which I think is totally fair because the company didn't have the car model they SPECIFICALLY GUARANTEED US. Take THAT! So rather than jaunting about all merrily in the sunshine today, we had a very low-key day. I finished up my photos and sent them off to the station (I will let you cats know when they are up), everyone (else) slept late, we went out briefly for brunch and a trip to Wal-Mart (shudder), and ate dinner in the hotel room.

When I opened up the hotel curtains this morning, MissNine, instead of shutting the curtains, put on her sunglasses and went back to sleep, gangsta-style.

Our hotel is way nice.

I'm not even Jewish and I know that really decent chicken soup cures what ails you, so we went to a delicious local deli, Sage Bagel & Deli, and nommed.

I'm not paying 28 bucks for any hotel continental breakfast (28 BUCKS! FOR A DANISH AND SOME COFFEE! NO!) so I donned a Hazmat suit and braved Wal-Mart to get some muffins and juice and coffee and cold medicine, which surely would be 100 dollars a bottle at the gift shop.

With a dose of cold medicine in her, MissNine felt up to taking a short dip in the pool.

Now all is quiet, save for the tap tap tapping of two laptops, the buzz of a text message coming in, and the snorty sounds of MissNine's stuffy nose as she sleeps in a puffy cloud of white sheets, pillows, and comforter.

VIDEO: THE ONLY THING I'VE LOOKED AT FOR TWO SOLID DAYS...BRUISE CRUISE SPEEDSHOW!

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:21:00 +0000

As planned, I've spent the last two days SOLID processing photos from the wonderful 2012 Bruise Cruise here in sunny Hollywood, Florida. Almost done now, but this site needs to be fed too, so here's a video of ALL the photos on my Lightroom. You can pretend you went to Bruise Cruise in all of one minute and ten seconds! If you are a creative and quick pauser, you might find a few photos that will NEVER be published, just sayin'!

(Music courtesy of the awesome Mikal Cronin, one of the artists onboard.)

Bruise Cruise 2012 Lightroom Photo Speedshow

IPHONE PHOTO ROUNDUP: THE BEST POST-BOAT BREAKFAST IN MIAMI

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:19:00 +0000

I HAVE RETURNED FROM BRUISE CRUISE! I know, hang on to your nitzels everyone! Excitement Time! My gratitude bouquet goes to Dena for tending to the site while I was on the boat; you were in excellent hands. I will be working here in Flo-da like a diligent pro-feshun-ul person the next few days processing all the photos I took for a very special radio station, but here today you get to see Stop One as we left the ginormous Carnival Imagination sea tank in search of FOOD. My hosts Rob and Stacy said that the S & S Diner, located between the Winwood and Overtown neighborhoods in Miami, had the best breakfast, and a hot delicious breakfast is GOOD when it's 8AM, you are fresh off a cruise ship, and would like to sleep on some large banana pancakes.

I had Eggs Benedict, the creamiest, most yummy grits in the world, two wonderful cups of coffee, and some really big bites of Rob's banana pancakes. MMM MMM MMM!

Back to Photoshop for me! See you tamarah!

Stacy took these two!

THE STORY OF PROZAC

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:10:00 +0000

Many years ago, I sent Marianne a package. It was one of those meticulously assembled care packages we used to send each other when we had no childrens and much more time on our hands, filled with cheap jewelry and trinkets, handmade art, and random objects designed to provoke laughter. In one of those inspired gestures to which I am prone, I threw in an empty Prozac sample box containing a single large rubber bug. I chuckled to myself about this for, oh, probably a week, and then forgot all about it.

A few weeks later, Marianne informed me Couch Teen, then in preschool, had taken the box to school with him to share with his peers in Show and Tell. I found this more than a bit alarming, having meant it strictly as a nudge of slightly twisted humor for the eyes of slightly twisted humans. I was not there for the presentation, but apparently what happened next was that Little Couch Teen first displayed the medication box to the curious roomful of four-year-olds, then introduced his classmates to his new friend.

"This is Prozac," he declared, brandishing the rubber insect and forever traumatizing and confusing his classmates.

To this day, I laugh.

This has probably been my last appearance in this space for the foreseeable future, and it has been fun. I do thank you for you patience with my seeming inability to twiddle the right knobs at the right time here, but that's what blogging nerves will do to a person. In the end it's all about the sharing.

Assuming Marianne has not fallen off the poop deck, she should be back with us tomorrow. And: Ha ha, I said poop deck. Sunburned and inflicted with tinnitus Marianne may be, but with a million tales of her exploits on the Bruise Cruise and more travel madness to come. I, for one, can't wait.

IF THIS IS SUNDAY, YESTERDAY WAS NASSAU

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:15:00 +0000

Apologies to all of you for the lateness. First I managed to publish Friday's post before I meant to you, and now I find I FAILED to publish yesterday, despite being all ready with the goods. I sigh.

For those of you just catching up with Marianne, she is not with us. Our lucky and intrepid shutterbug has flown the coop to Nassau, Bahamas with the Bruise Cruise, having set off from Miami Harbor yesterday. Every day she zaps me, Dena, pictures of her big adventure, on her iPhone, which I then have the great privilege of sharing with you.

From what I can tell our thing with the sunshine totally worked, because it looks to me from these pictures like it was absolutely gorgeous there today. We are having actual winter weather here, because, well, you know, it's February, and I have to post these pictures. FML, for real.

I am guessing we'll have one more day together, after which Marianne will more than likely step back into her own "big and strange" shoes here in this space. In the meantime, if you ever wanted to know what it looks like to shop for snacks in the Bahamas, scroll on down and peruse Marianne's enticing photos.

ALL ABOARD FOR FUNTIME(S)

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:05:00 +0000

Hey man, where'd you put that lotion? At some point earlier today, Marianne walked up the gangplank in Miami, FL, boarded the Bruise Cruise vessel, and set off for Nassau with a bunch of guitar-bearing hooligans and indie music buffs. I hope she remembered to bring her earplugs, and I also hope she wins the limbo contest. Who's got a lovely bunch of coconuts?

It's a mystery from one day to the next whether or not we'll hear from Marianne, but thanks (again) to modern cell phone technology, we can all take a gander at how her big seafaring adventure commenced. Cue in a sea shanty, me hearties!

COOL HOUSE: MIAMI

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:15:00 +0000

Marianne did not have access to the internet today, but she did have access to a pool (see below). Whether she had time to use it is another matter, because she is very busy taking pictures of rock stuff and getting ready to set sail on a cruise ship to the flipping Bahamas tomorrow on the Bruise Cruise vessel. Shit is getting real, and that is good. When it's all over she'll have tales to tell and images of indie mayhem to share with us, and that is good as well.

She informs me they are predicting rain for the whole cruise, so I would like you to please take a moment and send some sunshine her way. Seriously, I want you to close your eyes, envision a big ball of sunshine, and send it to Marianne with all the force you can muster. It just might work, and then we can take all the credit.

In the meantime, please to enjoy these pictures of the way cool rocker house where Marianne is staying while she preps for the cruise. She took these pictures on her iPhone and sent them to my Blackberry, and now they are yours for the looking. YAY, TECHNOLOGY! Who needs internet, anyway?

THIS IS NOT A TEST

noreply@blogger.com (Dena T) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:47:00 +0000

Think of it as more of an introduction, just to prepare the more dutiful Popthomology readers among ye for the possibility that I may need to step into Marianne’s shoes while she is off on the high seas on the Bruise Cruise on a ship to the Bahamas with a bunch of unbridled indie rockers, enjoying 24-hour room service and free puppet shows. It’s all sort of up in the air for now, depending mainly on whether Jello Biafra throws Marianne into the pool and fries her cell phone, but I'm here to serve as needed. Since I will at least be filling in as a transcriptionist here for the weekend, Marianne and I thought you should know something about who I am and why I'm here. Aside from having paid a hefty fee, that is.

Marianne and Dena: The Origin Myth

You may have seen my name pop up here occasionally, mostly as a founding member of the legendary Performa-Chords. What you may not be aware of is that Marianne and I came over on the Mayflower together and have been best friends ever since. We did not have any cell phones or computers in those days, so when I wanted to share something goat-related with Marianne, I had to bring her an actual goat. Batman did not exist yet, which made life fairly meaningless. Later, some inventor guy created television from a light bulb, five electrodes, and a handful of rubber bands. This changed the world by transmitting images of Lawrence Welk and Mr. Ed, a talking chimpanzee directly into the frontal lobes of human beings. This new-ish technology enabled a stiff but highly influential man named Ed Sullivan to introduce America to four moptops who made girls cry and throw Jujubes, in the process giving birth to the British Invasion.

The Kinks: A Revisionist History

The most important thing you probably don’t know about The Kinks is that they came into existence specifically so Marianne and I could meet. There once were two brothers who lived in the Black Hills of Muswell, and one day in the sixties they received simultaneous psychic transmissions that compelled them to purchase matching riding habits and form a rock music combo. The Kinks had several chart hits, including “You Really Got Me All Day and All of the Night, But I’m Tired of Waiting for You Till the End of the Day, Lola.” This measure of success served to keep The Kinks together as a band until that portentous day when Marianne and I finally kept our appointment with destiny at a Chicago swap meet and discovered our shared fondness for the combative tea drinkers, subsequently throwing in our lot together as a touring unit and tag wrestling team. At some point some fruit rolled down the aisle of a Greyhound bus and we laughed, but we disagree as to what type of fruit it was.

Marianne and Dena: The Story Continues

You know most of what Marianne has been up to lately because she gives you the skinny right here. Mostly she takes pictures, writes blog posts, and drinks coffee, occasionally pausing to feed a child, do laundry, or swear about politics. As for me, I routinely peruse Popthomology from a near suburb of Chicago, where I’m up to my elbows in books and up to my ankles in water (at least when it rains and I go down to my basement). I do a bit of freelance editing when there is freelance editing to be done, I sell books and pop-culture artifacts on Amazon Marketplace and Etsy for a few extra dollars, and I explore and share information on the internet because that's how I get my kicks. I’m also the mom of a bright and zany 11-year-old, a member of the extended Burning Man community, and a dedicated hooper, so I never lack something to do. I wish Marianne and I could get together more often, but given that she lives in Constantinople and I live in Timbuktu, I’m grateful we can get together at all

As I write this Marianne is in Flo-da, getting ready to cover Bruise Cruise and avoid being swallowed up by the Kraken. I am excited to see what she comes up with in the way of images and written commentary from this strange and exotic voyage. I am also grateful to Marianne for the chance to introduce myself to you and share highly embroidered stories of my misspent youth, which prevented me from eating an entire 2-pound box of salted chocolate-covered caramels today. I hope we meet again here, either sooner or later. In the meantime, I will take advantage of your kind attention this one time to flog the heck out of my various internet endeavors.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Denalynn2001 on Etsy

Denalynn2001 on Amazon Marketplace

It is Fun to Have Fun, But You Have to Know How

Herr Machine

Twitter

Quora

SPAM POEMS 15: "CIALIS, GENERIQUE" & "MERMAID PIE"

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:42:00 +0000

(My favorite comment spambot, elegantly nonsensical, provides the content today -- two poems for the price of one!!)

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THE OBLIGATORY RAMBLING POST MADE FROM $12.95 JET WI-FI

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:29:00 +0000

A big travel day for yours truly, writing to you from the fabulous 10F EXIT ROW WINDOW SEAT aboard a jet going to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Flying from Seattle to SoFla -- corner to corner in these United States -- takes a LONG ASS TIME. My flight from SEA-TAC left at the ungodly hour of 7AM, which meant that the car service came to collect me at 5AM, which meant that I tried to go to bed at the (for me) early hour of 1AM, and it didn't work. I got up totally unrefreshed and woozy at 3:30AM, tried to check-in online, screwed up, swore, took a shower, finished packing, and left my home after feeding the dog and putting out the milk delivery order, with a note for Couch Young Adult to TAKE THE MILK IN. Oh, imagine me at the airport about 30 minutes later, sans sleep and sans coffee with THREE huge heavy bags like a flame-haired lumbering Punk Lovey Howell. At the counter, a handsome young thang upgraded me to First Class (because I PAID HIM TO), took two of the three burdens off my hands (no, not the kids -- I'm solo this time), and I walked over to The Fast Security Line For People Who Pay Extra Money To Get A Better Seat On An Airplane.

I don't know what it was in the airport this morning, or maybe it was because the first leg of my flight was going to Los Angeles, but there sure were a lot of nice looking dudes and dudettes in the Seattle airport this morning. How do people look so damn sharp at this hour? I don't get it. Maybe they Pay Money To Look Extra Good At An Airport In The Early Morning Hours. My seat 1A had no seatmate, always a good thing, so I scored two pillows and two blankets. What was awkward was that my seat directly faced the flight attendant jumpseat, separated by a purple-ish Plexiglass barrier, so Attendant Dude and I had to spend moments Looking Away From Each Other. All I had to look at was the not very pretty metal container crap in the galley, rattling away with every air bump.

As soon as we were in the air, I arranged my bedding gear, did FULL RECLINE, and fell into some weird sleep/half-sleep state just through sheer exhaustion. I remember thinking the whole time, "My neck hurts," and "I have to pee," hearing assorted beeps and dings over the plane PA, the light clatter of the First Class breakfast plates, and the whooshy roar of the jet engine and the air jet blasting smelly fuel wafts down on me. I thought I hadn't slept until DING! Attendant Dude announced we were coming into LAX and I must WAKE THE F UP and DISINCLINE my seat. Mrghh mmphh whaaa...why is my mouth so dry? Oh crap, I must've fallen asleep with my mouth open. I cringed slightly at the thought of Attendant Dude sitting in his jumpseat, nowhere else to go, having to stare at me in some horrific sleep state, then cringed again at my second thought, which was I didn't care as much as I normally would have because he did not seem to be the kind of guy who would date girls.

CRASH! No, not the plane, or you would not be reading this, unless I was just that badass. The crash, which definitely helped WAKE ME THE F UP, was the the First Class First Row's storage area underneath the purple Plexiglass COMPLETELY FALLING APART. Oh, dear, I thought as everything fell on my feet, this airplane is apparently held together with Band-Aids. Oh, dear. Attendant Dude came over and beat it all back into place.

We arrived at LAX and it looked like this.

Oh, L.A. you are so so L.A., and L.A. boarding a flight to SoFla is a study in Blue-Haired Women In Wheelchairs, The Platinum Blonde In The Pink Juicy Track Suit With An Ass Whose Moon-Like Topography Was Microscopically Visible To All, The Grizzled Rockstar And His Model Wife, Child, And Nanny, and Slick Guys Talking To "Howard" About " Syndication Deals." Me, I just want to get on and make sure that Heavy Bag #3 (an actual piece of luggage, NOT ME, COMEDIANS) fits completely under the seat in front of me because it's heavy as f and could kill a guy if I accidentally dropped it from the overhead bin, whose contents may shift while in flight.

It did fit under the seat, enough to pass Another Attendant Dude's muster anyway, and so then, this post to you from me, with love, from the sky.

TEN THINGS EDGIER THAN M.I.A FLIPPING OFF THE SUPERBOWL CAMERA

noreply@blogger.com (Me) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:12:00 +0000

Yesterday, my oldest spawn, Couch Young Adult, excitedly came over to tell me that controversial British rap person M.I.A. had gone all rogue, not "Vogue" at Madonna's Superbowl halftime show/Vegas tripe extravaganza, and wanted to get my reaction. Ms. M.I.A., by extending her middle finger towards the live TV camera in what is universally known as an obscene gesture meaning "go have sexual relations with yourself," now is reaping the PR spoils of daring to do what might land your average 3rd grader in the principal's office for a stern talking-to.

"Pfffft," I pfffft-ed at Couch Young Adult, "That's not edgy. That's lame."

"What?!!?" He glanced at me with some surprise and irritation. "Yeah, well...you would have thought it was cool if the Clash had done it."

"Nah. I didn't like the Clash. Also, Joe Strummer was no working-class dude. He was the son of a diplomat, and hid it. Pfffft."

Further annoyed by me, my son continued. "OK, whatEVER. What if the SEX PISTOLS had done it?"

"Big deal. They were as manufactured a group as the Monkees. They got famous for trolling an old man on TV so they could say 'bollocks' or something."

At this point, he gave up trying to share this Rebellion Moment with me, and went back to watching the football game. I didn't really expect him to share my feelings -- he's young and full of his own birds -- but it was fun pissing him off. HA HA, Son.

Anyway, this all got me thinking this morning about THINGS EDGIER THAN M.I.A. FLIPPING OFF THE SUPERBOWL CAMERA, and here is my list of TEN:

1. At the very last possible second, changing out Madonna's wobbily Superbowl high-spike boots for Naturalizers, forcing her into publicly-sensible shoes.

2. As Clarence Thomas appears to begin to speak his first words in years in the Supreme Court, letting a huge, multi-second fart blast rip through the room.

3. Growing a beard and putting it in cornrows. If you are a girl.

4. Playing your mashup of Creed, Shirley Temple, and Kraftwerk to Brian Eno at a party while he's in the bathroom.

5. Paying your fair share of taxes AND running for President.

6. Taking a photo of your boss, whom you hate, turning them into stickers, and plastering them on Dumpsters all over the world.

7. Seeing-Eye Vole.

8. Asking M.I.A. if she feels "cool" now.

9. Developing an app which tells people if they are "cool" or not, and making a gazillion dollars off it.

10. Losing half your hearing and hair in a spectacularly stupid way, but still finishing out your comedy bit with Tommy Smothers.