Diary Doodles

Christos Tsiolkas

2014-07-21T15:11:00.001-07:00

If there is one author everyone must read in the current times I'd say it is Christos Tsiolkas. My brother and his lovely wife recommended him to me during a recent visit. My brother was not much of a reader growing up, so when he suggested I read it I was a bit skeptical, but Tsiolkas' The Slap and Barracuda are two of the most riveting books I have read recently.

His works are thought provoking, make you deeply uncomfortable and force you to acknowledge truths that you tend to live in denial of. This is especially true for an immigrant like me, trying to raise a child, who I believe will develop a sense of belonging if I stay put in one place. Until now I have believed that if we had all stayed in my country of birth and just plodded along we'd all be fine today, that we'd have a strong sense of belonging, but I don't know that for sure. I will never know if that could be true.

The truth of the matter is that regardless of where we are born and raised we have to go through the coming of age ritual. It isn't cultural or traditional and there are no timelines. It is an individual battle and Tsiolkas illustrates that so vividly for a person of mixed parentage in contemporary Australia. It is frightening to think that children battle through such emotions as they grow up. I had my own challenges growing up away from my country of birth, but I doubt I can compare my experiences to what Tsiolkas speaks of in his books. My heart aches a little for my nephew and nieces and my son.

These two books are a must read for everyone. It does not matter where you are raising children, it is not just about ethnic differences or white dominance. It is about class consciousness and what matters to an individual at each stage of his or her life. There is a lot to take in with these two books, but the one thing I want to hold on to is to try and look at life through my child's eyes so I can be empathetic to what he goes through as he finds his niche in this complicated mess we have created.

Distracted walking

2014-03-19T06:45:00.004-07:00

So there's a new law against texting and driving in Ontario! Higher fines, yay!

But we have way too many people who just don't get that this is not about you holding the bloody phone, but more about being distracted while driving. I head out yesterday thinking people will be mindful at least on day one only to be stuck behind a jeep where I could clearly see the passenger holding the phone up for the driver who was oblivious to the lights having changed and the cars ahead of her being long gone! She weaved between lanes making it incredibly hard for me to get to where I wanted to go. All the while I could see a hand holding up a phone for the driver. So I am not sure how this is going to turn out for us.

And for people like me who would rather walk than drive I am also annoyed with people that walk and text or do whatever they do with their phones. The most annoying thing they do while on the phone is stop dead on their tracks while walking. I was walking down the hall at work yesterday and walked right into two people, not one but two people who did just that.

With cars it is one thing, the person at least step on the brakes and the brake lights tell you that the driver ahead is just randomly stopping in the middle of the street, you curse and stop, what else can you do if you can't safely pass them! When people do that while walking, we just walk into them because our bums are not fitted with brake lights are they! I said just that to the first woman I walked into yesterday! In hindsight I doubt she registered anything I said, she was totally distracted by her phone. Sigh! I feel like this is a losing battle.

Pizza a la Dork

2014-02-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I can't take all the credit for this pizza. I have Martha Stewart to thank for the dough. I always thought it was a lot of work getting the dough done and that it involved a lot of muscle work. I don't care for that because one needs muscles to do it and I replaced mine with fat a while ago. So I was thrilled when I found this recipe for pizza dough. It works brilliantly.

My monkey loves pizza and it is one night we can eat without my having to harangue him at the table. It is also a great way to get rid of all all the bits and pieces of vegetables, like that half a bell pepper, three mushrooms and the kale or spinach. You know what I am talking about.

I also liked how the sauce turned out. I heated a can of crushed tomatoes with a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of dried basil. Now I have sauce and dough for another batch when all desire to cook eludes me.

So what did my pizza look like? This is how.

And oh, I like to use habanero cheese to wake my deadened taste buds. You see, the possibilities are endless!

The five day challenge

2014-01-30T09:40:00.001-08:00

I struggle with planning meals. It has to be one of the hardest parts of keeping house, running a household, or whatever you want to call it. The food has to be palatable, nutritious, balanced and appeal to the picky eaters. It also has to work with mine and Hubby's work schedule and the little monkey's extra-curricular schedule. These are a lot of variables to take into consideration for meal planning. Not easy!

A week ago I said I would cook dinner every night from scratch. Nothing from cans, no prepared frozen stuff. And I did it! Did it meet all the criteria? Not really, the appeal to taste buds being the most challenging. But overall it was not bad. Not all of them were 100% balanced either. But hey, they were hot dinners, all home cooked. By the way, the meals I am speaking of is just dinner. Let's not even go near planning lunch and dinner.

Monday - Bengal-style fish curry - I found the recipe on Canadian Living (my go to magazine for all recipes) and I had all the ingredients except mustard powder. I figured I could just grind some mustard. I only wish I had used the blender to do it because what I think it called for is fine mustard powder. I coarsely ground the mustard and used it. So, if you are going to try this recipe, use finely ground mustard powder. An easy dinner. I might add a raita next time to tone down the heat and include some greens.

Tuesday - Quinoa cake s with lemon yogurt sauce - Another Canadian Living recipe. I had to rush off to work that day so Hubby had to fry the cakes and serve them. I also had just the pine nuts so whether or not he toasted it as well as it should be I am not sure. I asked him to take a picture because I didn't have the time. More balanced than Monday's dinner. But I was told it was rather bland. I did make nearly fifteen cakes. They are in the freezer. I will provide an update on the flavour and my feedback when I have had the chance to taste it myself. According to my beautiful offspring - 'it tastes not good at all.' But I never take his word for it because if he had been watching Batman while eating it would have tasted just fine!

Wednesday - Pasta and chicken wieners stir fry with arugula and sun-dried tomatoes and a whole lot of other things. That's right, it is my very own recipe. Well, this has to be the easiest thing to cook. It also has sweet bell peppers, cloves, cardamon and a tiny stick of cinnamon, a pinch of dried red chili flakes. Made it easy to cook and leave for Offspring's swimming lesson and come back to a warm dinner.

Thursday - Salmon and crispy potatoes with orange buerre blanc - More Canadian Living recipes! I love their tested till perfect recipes and the ingredients are easy to find. This is also my first time cooking with wine and I have to say I loved the sauce. I would cook it again. I have to work on my presentation skills a bit, but this was a good, wholesome dinner. Even the offspring ate it with few complaints.

Friday - Dosa and sambar - We went totally ethnic. I made all of what you see from scratch. It tasted okay and everyone ate well. I am still working on perfecting it. But the lentils with the eggplants in the sambar makes it a nutritious gravy and the rice and lentils in the dosa is not totally unhealthy. A little lean on protein and perhaps some fiber, but overall, not bad.

So there! I completed my challenge for the week in question. I cooked more this week. I have to because no one else will and one must eat. Hope this inspires you to plan and cook from scratch. If I can do it, anyone can!

Teaching to give

2014-01-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

For the last four years we have insisted that people not bring presents for our offspring's birthday party. Instead we ask that folks bring non-perishable food items that we can donate to the local women's shelter. It is a highly secure location and I worked hard to earn their trust because the women that make it there do so under terrible circumstances. Most of them end up living in the home for quite a while with their children.

This year being the fifth birthday we really insisted on no presents. I figured he was old enough to have some things explained to him. But only two people took that seriously. Some folks at least did not bring presents, but brought greeting cards (which were such a hit) and gift cards, which could also be donated. So in addition to the food that friends brought, we bought some more and took it to the home yesterday along with the gift cards. I called ahead and requested that they acknowledge the little monkey for his efforts because it was being done in honour of his birthday. I know he still hasn't quite understood what we did because, when we had dropped the food off he said, "now do we have to go sell more food?" I tried explaining the difference between selling and donating and so did the counselor. I don't think he got it. Next time I should not take him after school when he is hungry and tired. He just wanted to leave.

My darling still thinks that if we have no food at home we can buy it. Someday soon he will understand how the world works, because the biggest problem in the so called first world is that poverty is invisible. Poverty as we have come to know it is what exists in the third world. The fact that there are five children my baby's age at the home breaks my heart. I had put away socks that some folks bought our guy because they were all much too small for him and when the counselor said they needed socks I was thrilled. I was not sure who to pass it on to because everyone we know can afford to provide for their children.

We are so big on giving, but I believe we need to rethink that. What are we giving and to whom? Are we giving people what they need? Because sometimes my friends just need a hug, a home cooked meal, a good laugh and or a good long cry. None of which we can put a price on. It is nice to have the things you want, but we need to watch our wants or they will consume the spirit. Argue that with me!

What if we put aside five dollars every time we did our grocery shopping? That would add up to a significant amount that we can put towards food banks. January and February are tough times at food banks and this is a good time to think about it and begin donating. You can find more information here. If you are not able to help at least talk about it because someone who can will hear you.

In case you are wondering if our baby gets birthday presents, of course he does. From mom and dad. He's been told mom and dad can get him what he 'needs' and every now and then we will indulge his wants ;).

All partied out

2014-01-14T08:11:00.000-08:00

This has to have been the most exhausting birthday party I have planned for my monkey, although when I look back there were just a few extra people and we didn't do anything unusual. So I am blaming Batman! That cake took a lot out of me. Probably because I baked the giant base for it. We were expecting more people than usual (the family that shows up unannounced) and I was concerned we would run out of cake. Next time they just don't get cake.

Having said that, the look on my Bubba's face was worth the effort. I have him to thank for helping me discover this cake making ability. The initial plan was to cut out buildings to create a city skyline of sorts all around the border of the base - Batman on Gotham City? Something like that, but I ran out of steam.

I think I will play with fondant for this year and see what I can come up. Having done all these superhero cakes I kind of wish I had a girl to make cakes for. It would be nice to make flowers and princesses and rainbows.

Now that the party is all done, I am feeling a bit lost. Perhaps I should get around to the writing, job applications and some exploration into the 'next steps'. I just need a big kick in the backside to do it. I really do loathe winter. I just want to curl up and sleep for the next three months. This winter has been horrific and even the thaw over the last few days has done little to help. In fact there is black ice everywhere and a good chance you'd break a bone. So on that note, let me be off and get some real work done. Stay warm/cool based on where you are reading this.

Eco-friendly - not so easy

2014-01-08T08:36:00.000-08:00

My bubba's birthday is all done! He still has a little celebrating to do because only seven of his friends showed up at school. Understandable, because it was -40 outside. My little monkey was way to excited to sleep. Oh to be excited about getting older!

courtesy: catchmyparty.com

I am rather a committed person when it comes to not harming the planet even if I cannot help it all that much. So I looked up the internet to see what other moms are up to as far as loot bags etc. are concerned. We are all about Batman this year, so that too had to be considered. Pinterest being my amazing source of inspiration I went on and spent a few happy hours scouring pictures and blogs. This is what caught my eye. I loved the paper bags more than anything and I figured the batman emblem should be easy to cut.

I also found another cute summer birthday inspired by books/stories. Mine is not an avid reader by any means, but we have always made sure he has books around him. I am also tired of all the junk he brings home and didn't want other parents to have to deal with what we do everything he brings those things home.

So I decided to try and reduce, reuse and recycle. Or something like that. I went to the local thrift store and picked up picture books for $0.99 each. I got one free book for every four I purchased. Score! So I bought almost forty books because there are thirty kids in his class (let's not go there right now). Seven kids will be at his party and a few to spare. You can never have too many books.

Now I needed brown paper bags. I was going to throw in a pencil, eraser and this book and make a stamp of the bat emblem and get offspring to stamp the bags. Neat? I thought so. And cheap. But would you know that we have no paper bags larger than the tiny lunch/sandwich sized bags to buy? We don't, not in Toronto. Not retail. I spent four hours hunting and of course that was not very eco-friendly, all the emission from the car and drive-thru coffee. I finally gave up and bought some plain white wrapping paper. Hubby and I cut out bats while the offspring cut out the circles.

In the end our 'loot bags' looked like this, and by the look on one little girl's face as she was leaving school yesterday I'd say it was a hit. If not the book, the bat certainly was :).

Milestone

2014-01-06T18:09:00.001-08:00

Five years ago, on this day I was walking around feeling rather uncomfortable wondering when the baby would come. I had had enough. I had seen my obstetrician earlier in the day and she assured me I would have the baby before Friday. She was right. Just over 24 hours after I'd seen her, he arrived - tiny, gross and a lot like Benjamin Button. I remember feeling relief, more than anything else, when he was born. I felt like my job was done, little did I know.

Five years later I realise that my work had only just begun on that day, for life. Being a public health person, a child reaching five years has always been a big deal for me. My little gross baby is a handsome, chatty, incorrigible know-it-all. He wants me to buy him a cell phone and a tablet for his birthday. He will get a tonne of colouring books, brand new felt pens, a batman mask (top that!) and a handmade throw.

It has not been an easy five years. In fact it has been extremely challenging. It truly does take a village to raise a child and when you do it alone it is difficult on you and the child. However, it has been the most meaningful five years of my life.

It MUST be good!

2014-01-03T11:37:00.002-08:00

Last year was a challenge to say the least. There were some good things, like resolving certain health issues and adjusting to big boy school for the offspring. But overall it pushed our limits. It also marked ten years of being married and I am afraid we did little to celebrate. That is another story, for another time, and probably will not be told here.

But this post is about 2014. It must be good. That is all I am saying. I pushed myself to accomplish little things last year and told myself if I keep at it I can accomplish more this year. I am not going to list anything out here, because that, I am afraid, would be setting myself up for failure or at least being disappointed. One of the things I did in December was make an afghan, from start to finish in under three weeks! Unheard of!!

This means I can also write that darned manuscript in January, email drafts and start working on the annotated biblio of more interesting topics. I can sit with the offspring and patiently work on cursive writing or make play-doh people.

I also must begin full-time work again. But someone needs to employ me. So that hunt must commence. The house hunt is on in the interest of a better school for the offspring. Living in this area may result in me assaulting the next person who speaks to me in a language they assume I speak. And there is the very exciting trip happening in May. So all in all this year will be eventful if nothing else.

In the meantime I prep for my part-time teaching contract, another school term, a big birthday next week (we turn 5) and showing this house.

So happy new year to people who still visit this site and here's to a year that is more than we can all hope for.

New phone, new frustrations

2013-12-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

I have a new phone! YAY!

Folks tend to get really excited for me when I say that. It is the first time I have said that. I on the other hand have little interest in fancy phones. I still maintain that a telephone should remain just that, a telephone. I started to lament on facebook and realised that my friends are all fancy phone fans. And so here I am in my space, whining.

Hubby loves his technology so he quickly unpacked the phone and did all the work that was needed to switch me over to the new one. I didn't have a chance to say good-bye to the old phone. Just like that the old one was made redundant. I was a bit upset about that. I wanted to figure this one out for myself and have only the basics installed. But it has a dozen or so apps.

I have now had it for almost two days and I have added most of my contacts. It is not a long list, but this phone is some Google based thingy and I can access all my contacts on gmail through the phone. How crazy creepy is that?

Anyhow I started to add contacts and then wanted to delete/edit and kept dialing their numbers instead. So I decided to be all tech savvy and do an internet search for a user manual and imagine my frustration when I find page after page of how cool the apps are and all that you could do with the phone EXCEPT make a fucking phone call! Now don't get me wrong, I have warmed up to the texting and I find it useful to be able to be in touch on my terms. I am not (at least not yet) compelled to respond right away and most of the time it is 24 hours before I respond. And the folks I am in touch with understand that and will call me if it is a matter of life and death, because that is what you do when something is a matter of life and death - call the person and bloody speak to them!

Today as I sit here with my coffee at eight o'clock on a Saturday morning trying to register my kid for swimming lessons (and the website won't load and the phone lines are jammed) I just want to go back in time to rotary phones. No missed calls, no voice mail, no face on the other end, just a voice. You either spoke to them when they called or never knew they did. There is something to be said for those times. Communication was precious.

Now here's hoping I don't disappear again until the next phone I will have to buy. I have to don't I? These phones, as fancy as they are aren't as hardy.

Happy weekend folks.

Nine years

2013-03-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, March 13th marked nine years since I moved to Canada. And for the first time in nine years I feel like I could live the rest of my life here if I had to. Part of this has to do with my little monkey who makes life worth living. He even makes Winter so much fun with sledding, snow ball fights and much more. Everyday is a new day with him, while he drives me crazy with his endless smart ass comments, I wake up each day with anticipation of what he will do to surprise me.

Another reason I feel like I could spend the rest of my life here is because of the amazing people I have met since I started teacher's college. I am very thankful for having met these beautiful people because they have helped me realize that I am still the same old person I used to be. I was worried I had turned into a bitter old hag (well in some ways I have), but the crazy nut bag is still alive. Woohoo!

But, like everything else in life I know this too shall pass, by that I mean we will go our separate ways when the time comes. Unlike times gone by I am not going to dwell on that, but savour my time with them. After school we will not be able to meet as often, we won't be on our Facebook page all at once on Thursday mornings as we suffer another boring educational psychology lecture. And we certainly won't be traipsing off for drinks every Thursday afternoon. So I am making the most of my time with them. Because, at the end of the day it is all you can do. Live each day to the fullest.

Here's to my new friends who make Canada a place worth living in! Here's to my monkey for making each day a celebration and here's to my husband who dragged me out here in the first place :)

First Real Valentine

2013-03-13T12:12:00.001-07:00

I am not a big fan of Valentine's Day, in fact I don't like it at all. It just adds to all the stress of an already stressful season, not to mention the ridiculously priced flowers and chocolates. But this year was different. My little man who turned four in January was very excited about 'Valentimes' day. He was confusing it with Halloween and a lot of other days. In his defense there is not a lot of difference between the two if all you are doing is exchanging candy.

Anyhow he came home on Valentines day with the two paper hearts and gave me the cookie and said, "I made this for you and took a bite of the cookie for you, I love you Amma!"

After another long hiatus

2013-03-12T08:04:00.002-07:00

I just assumed people would have forgotten all about my blog, but to my surprise it seems there are still visitors. Thank you to all who have been stopping awhile to read my posts. They are almost a year old.

So what have I been up to? Teacher's college, that's what? Why you ask? I have no idea. It has been a hellish ride, but the silver lining in this gray cloud are the people I have met. They are absolutely amazing. After nine long years in this country I have finally met people I can be myself with and enjoy spending time with. I have gone out of my way to socialize with them. By that I mean, I do not like driving on the highways here and I have taken the trouble to battle public transit to make it to dinners/drinks with these lovely ladies and gentlemen. I meet my favorite bunch again tomorrow for dinner. We can't get enough of each other. I know we won't get to meet as often when the degree is done and everyone goes their separate ways, so I am making the most of my time with them. It is all we can really do, about anything.

Again, thank you and don't stop visiting. I will endevour to keep writing.

Chicken stir-fry wraps a la Martha

2012-06-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

I bought a cook book a while back, Great Food Fast, with Martha Stewart's recipes. I must admit I did not know who she was until she was arrested, but now that I have this book I am truly beginning to appreciate what she does. This book is fantastic for someone like me. The recipes are easy and most of the time I have the ingredients in my pantry, and when I don't it is not all that hard to find them.

I have tried quite a few of the recipes and just did a search on the internet and found the link to Martha's website. Some of the recipes from the book are on it. But the chicken stir-fry isn't. The book suggested serving it as a wrap with Boston lettuce. But I know that will not go down well with my boys so I served it with rice and green beans.

I think I will work my way through this book. I am glad I have the book because I find that way easier than looking things up on the internet. I guess I have a long way to go before I start reading e-books...or whatever those books on computers are called. Books are bit like food for me, I have to be able to smell them as I read them.

Lemon drop cheesecake

2012-06-21T04:23:00.001-07:00

I love cheesecake. My favorite would be a regular cheesecake with blueberry sauce. Lemon cheesecake however is a new idea. Since I love the citrus flavors I thought this might be worth a try, especially since recipes from Canadian Living have almost always turned out great (when I follow instructions).

This recipe in the magazine had lots of pictures and I was so excited when the candied lemon peels turned out perfectly. They were yummy. I imagine they would be great to add to a lot of other recipes. I just lack the know how to begin pairing it with other foods. Although I love orange and chocolate.

For the cheesecake, the batter itself was a wee bit tricky for no other reason than that my brain just fries itself every now and then and fails me when I need commonsense. I unpacked and washed a food processor we have had for nearly six years to make this cake. I saw a line that said liquids should not go over that point. I thought to myself that it can't be a big deal. So I added the ingredients and kept going. When it got time to lift the cup and pour the batter out that line seemed pretty important. Well, lets just say that I managed to get most of the batter into the cake pan.

The other thing was that I just could not find graham crackers for the crust at two super markets. Now where on earth do you find it. I looked in the baking foods aisle and the cracker/snacks aisle. So I just went with some random cracker I had in the pantry. Not a good idea, I had a very soggy crust. And the cake cracked a bit, not sure why. The light frosting however,, helped cover the crack prefectly and the candied lemon made it look so darned pretty. If you didn't get it yet, the candied lemon was my favorite part of the whole cooking process.

The cake itself was too big for a family of two and a half (Offspring does not count as a whole person yet when it comes to factoring in serving sizes). So I distributed it to the neighborhood. It even earned me a few surprise compliments. So all in all, a keeper, I would make this again.

Got hit by shit

2012-06-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

I just realised I have not posted in a ridiculously long time. I also realised I was beginning to get anxious and twitchy. That's when it hit my that I have not been sharing the sordid details of my life with how many ever anonymous readers there are.

So the reason for my absence is pretty much explained in the post title. It has been raining crap for the last two months. It all started with having my wisdom teeth out. While I had hyped myself no end, the whole process was so simple and brief. However, for anyone who has had their teeth taken out you probably know that the real trouble is not with having them out. It is just like having a baby. The labour and delivery seemed like a walk in the park for me compared to when we got home with my little bundle of screams. It was a similar experience, I ended up with something called a dry socket. Well, there are easy fixes, it was taken care of.

Just as I was getting over this nonsense, I met with an accident while driving to work. The other driver just drove into me. Yeah right! That's what everybody says right. I didn't say that initially. I thought it was totally my fault for having made the left turn when this woman on the right turn only lane t-boned me. I refused to move the car. I was too stunned, because in the corner of my eye I was looking for the car that ought to pull up alongside me, because that it what people do when they get on the goddamn right turn only lanes. So the crash was totally unexpected. Scary, but my immediate reaction, "oh no, I crashed my Hubby's dear old car." He has been driving this lady for nearly twelve years and she was in ace condition. No exaggeration.

The last I saw of the trusty old Girl

After waiting two hours for the cop, and another two hours of statements and time in the cop car I got a ticket for turning when it was not safe. I don't know what happened to the other woman. It was one of those days, pouring rain and wind and just a crappy day in all. I am now waiting on a court date to contest the ticket because I am convinced it was not my fault. I have had to make the same maneuver a couple of times since then and I have been fine. Hubby pointed out why it was not my fault because when you look at the intersection from the direction in which this woman came at me (picture below), it is impossible to hit me unless she was trying to get on to the far left lane, which is what I was turning on to, or she lost control of the vehicle. So now we wait, not sure what will happen to the insurance, hopefully we can sort this out before it comes up for renewal.

I was where the red car is when I got hit...sigh.

On the same day this happened a cousin of mine, 42 years old, had a stroke. She is still in a coma after two surgeries and cerebral edema that never went down. She has two boys who are convinced their mother will be well and a husband who is sitting by her everyday, completely in touch with reality yet hoping for a miracle.

So I go forward, praying for this beautiful woman and thanking the power beyond all comprehension for sparing my life, yet again. I only hope I am still here for good reason and that I learn what it is, sooner than later.

On that note I best be off and do some serious work. Stay tuned, I will keep up with some regular rambling from now on.

Some Jay glory

2012-04-21T17:53:00.003-07:00

Winter is gone. In actual fact it never did quite arrive and Spring just waltzed in. But this seems to have completely confused all my precious flora and fauna. The blue jays for one were around all winter and now they are here in flocks.

The best way to lure Jays - peanuts!

I usually wait with much anticipation in early May for the beautiful blue creatures, but they got here a few weeks ago. Or, like I said, probably never left. I wonder what this means for them? Anyhow, this little post is not so much a musing of their plight but more of my efforts to take pictures of them in all their glory.

The picture that started it all, I am going to be working on this for a while

It is a work in progress, and I am scouring the website for any information their might be in my efforts to photograph them in flight.

Eerie landing shots - I kind of like the effect of the contrasting shades

This must be accomplished with my limited paraphernalia as I simply refuse to spend money on anything other than essentials right now. If you must know it is more out of need than a matter of principle.

My personal favourite

I am also for once quite grateful for technological advancement, and digital cameras in particular. I snapped nearly 198 shots, that with a film camera would have cost me an arm and a leg, perhaps even my head in the current climes! Not to mention I will not be posting this for at least another month.

Just look at the form, the colours...

I love birds, fuzzy sleepy heads, angry faces and all, but I do believe they are most beautiful doing what we admire them most for, flying. Perhaps we will all look our best if we were doing what we are all meant to be doing. Pity it isn't as simple for us humans to figure out with the slightly more evolved brains.

Peace or piece?

2012-04-08T18:22:00.002-07:00

Some days are better than others for me and weekends for a housewife are no different from the work week. Sometimes it means more work than the so called work week. So when Good Friday rolled around we hadn't make concrete plans to do anything for the weekend I cooked lunch (the way us Sri Lankans cook no matter where in the world we go) and decided to hit the eliptical for 30 minutes. I don't get to do this often, in fact it is only the third time this year that I actually made time to exercise (I know, I know!). Since Hubby was home I thought I would take advantage.

Just as I came down to the basement and got on the machine both Offspring and Hubby came down too. The former decided to jump around the couch sending my heart rate way higher than the exercise alone did and Hubby was calmly checking maps for a drive!! What?! Seriously, can you not watch the kid for half an hour while I burned off the fat that I have been lugging around for three years? I was a bit ticked off and finally I said, "can't I have just half an hour of peace?"

My Offspring quickly jumped on the couch, reached out to me and said, "here you go Amma, here's a piece for you," and handed me a piece of his play-doh!

I may not get much peace right now, but the pieces my kid hands out reminds me to smile and thank God for the little Blessing.

Food for thought?

2012-04-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

Staying home with the Offspring has resulted in me living in a la la land of my own. I experiment with cooking, having finally discovered that it does help live in denial of reality, if not relieve stress. My posts of late have had a lot to do with food. Today, as I carried a bag of groceries to the car I was wondering about the heavy bag of food for two adults and a half pint. We as a family are guilty of throwing out food, food that can probably feed at least two children comfortably for a day.

The West African food crisis is only one of many reasons I feel so guilty. It isn't just about food, it is about the inequality that has prevailed through time. Reading about the current situation in West Africa really pains me, partly because I always wanted to work among these people. I wanted to be a doctor and serve people. I mean really serve people. I wanted to go to them, not wait around for them to come to me.

I realize now that even if I had become a doctor like I wanted to I would probably be paying off debts incurred to get through school. If I had got through that I most likely will be caught up in the bureaucratic bullshit involved in working with these people. If I had gotten through all of that I would most likely be watching these people die every day while I still had ate at least one hearty meal a day.

I have been reading a lot about the causes for the inequality, why I get to cook a meal that would clog our arteries while these people starve for want of a morsel, but none of the literature has a solution. I sometimes wonder if the solutions are edited out of what I am reading...The sense of helplessness is at times overwhelming.

I think it's time to return to la la land. It is all I can do for now. Or is it?

Moju inspiration

2012-04-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the moju that turned out so well I cooked a whole meal. I figured if I used the some of the spices from the moju recipe I might be able to get the flavour of fried rice that I so love. And I did! It was the cloves. I never use cloves in my cooking because I never knew what it could do. Now I do!

Seeing how the rice turned out I just kept going and put together a whole meal that any self-respecting Sri Lankan living overseas would appreciate. It is still way below the standards of a meal cooked in clay pots using spices ground on stone over a wood burning fire. Sigh.

I blew my nose and drank copious amounts of cold water to calm the heat from the meal. Now that is Sri Lankan cuisine to me.

Moju magic

2012-04-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

I love spicy food. I have been asked often why I eat food as spicy as I do. I don't know why. But then I do come from an island that was colonized by the British partly for its spices. So I guess we people have a spice gene that needs satiating. One of my favorite foods from the good old homeland is moju. I must admit that until I met my beautiful author friend I didn't know what it was called. She and her husband can cook up a storm. I have been fortunate enough to have tasted their's and my friend's mother's cooking. Moju was a regular dish on their menus.

I tried cooking moju from recipes that I found in books, the internet, word of mouth...nothing worked. It just did not taste as good. In my desperation to simulate the sweetness of the dish I even tried using dates. Sometimes it is just simple ingredients, as I discovered when I read through a fool proof recipe.

I asked my dear friend if she had a recipe that she could share. It is not that she would not share it with me, but what I have found is that most brilliant cooks do not have recipes for foods like this. Especially one that someone as anal as I could follow. But my lovely friend's mother did! Or perhaps she painstakingly went through it in her head to give me ingredients and quantities. I am convinced that is what happened. Thank you Aunty. I wanted to cook it for the Christmas lunch we were having last year, but it never happened. I finally got around to it late last week.

I started work by assembling all the ingredients. Something I don't always do, but I wanted to do the recipe justice.

All prepped, nothing was left to chance, down to the two piece of 1" rampe

I added only what was called for. I did panic a bit when there was no quantity listed for the small red onions and capsicum, but it turned out okay, I think...

If those aren't pretty colours...

And Aunty W, you are my hero! As my Offspring would say, it was um um um :).

Moju a la Aunty W

An update on the 'fright'

2012-03-30T19:34:00.000-07:00

So it turns out the City does deal with things in a half decent fashion. Good to know, it is after all our tax money that is at work. I got a call from the pool supervisor where our Offspring goes for lessons. She had not been there the day of the incident. She was at the union negotiations (of course!). She spoke well and asked how we were doing and stressed the importance of bringing our little guy back for lessons. We understood that, but I wanted to know what they would do to address the incident and future safety during lessons.

They are adding another instructor to manage four preschoolers! Fine by me, but why? They are also considering opening up a new session on Fridays and we can move our little guy to that time slot if we would like to. I am fine with that too, I would like to avoid the boisterous boy if I can. I know she can't really speak about that kid, but it seems like that is one issue. But it isn't ours. So I am not going to worry about it.

I also asked what authority the teacher has to ask a kid to leave the pool if s/he does not behave. Her response, was something akin to - not much really, you know these days we have to be really careful. First of all we don't know if the child has been diagnosed with a behavioral issue, and if he has the parents must disclose the information for us to deal with the child appropriately. The other things is that these are preschoolers so a time out would be a serious issue and we deal with different kinds of people and really, we can't do much - part of the response is understandable. The second half is political bullshit.

She also did not once admit that the instructor was perhaps wrong to have gone under water. She lost sight of them, it was just a split second, but as we saw it was all it took for two kids to slip under water. She defended the instructor and said she was excellent, perhaps, but I have yet to see it. I will only take him back for lessons because I do not want him associating all the negativity of the last lesson to the water/pool.

I am now waiting to hear if they are opening up the Friday session and if we can move our guy, if not I will watch to see how the lessons go and if I am not happy I will pull him out and demand a full refund. I can always take him during family time and continue to let him have a safe and happy time in the water.

That's our monkey in his sandbox filled with water.

Fright of my life

2012-03-28T18:26:00.005-07:00

Hubby and I had a fright of the worst sort. We took our Offspring for his swim lesson after a three week break (just the way City programs are organised). He loves the water, his swim lessons and was looking forward to seeing his old friends. We had warned him his old friends may not be there and that he would have a new teacher. His first reaction was, "I want my Jessica." He eventually warmed up to the new teacher and three boys, including ours, got in the pool. The class limit was four children so I knew one more would join them. These are all children under five and our little fella was the youngest.

So I set him up and went out to the viewing area to watch. Hubby and I were a little taken aback at how quickly the instructor was getting the kids to put their head under water, etc. We were not too worried because this was his second session and he had done those things with the old instructor, albeit, nearly six weeks after he began lessons. After all, these lessons (called Preschool Swim) are meant to get the children ready for serious swim lessons at age five. It is not meant to have them training to compete or anything. He was doing okay, coped well with the dunk and was still chattering away.

Midway through the class an obviously boisterous boy joined the group. That was the fourth kid on the list. His mother took a seat next to us and laughed at how stubborn the boy was and that he would not follow instructions. Hubby and I did not find it funny and got a bit anxious at what would happen if he dragged one of the other kids into the water with all his antics. But things progressed okay.

In the last four minutes or so the teacher put them on a large float and pulled the float asking all four of them to beat their legs. They were doing okay until she went under water to check something (I am still not clear on what she went to check) when two children, including our Offspring went under water!! My heart is racing even as I write this. She grabbed one kid, our guy was still gone, then she got him! And let him go again. I ran into the pool area and by the time I got to them she had him and he was crying. I picked him up, so relieved he was screaming his head off. Never have I been so happy to hear him cry. I was still shaking and in no mood to talk to anyone. I soothed my baby and rocked him for a while listening to him complain and how he wanted his Jessica back.

The reason why the teacher lost our son when she first grabbed him was because the boisterous little monkey rocked the float to hard. He was laughing. I know it is not his fault, he is but a child. But surely the teacher had to have a talk. This Jessica my son absolutely adores has had many chats with the Offspring. Our child is no angel, but today he did behave so very well and he was having such a good time until he went under water. It was the teacher's job to check kids who do not behave because the safety of the other children is at stake and that is what happened today.

My usually calm and collected Hubby let the instructor know he was not happy with how she was handling the kids and that she needed to check the kid who rocked the float so hard when she was trying to get the kids from under the water. After I had stopped shaking I brought him into the women's change room and was changing him, still not in the mood to talk to anyone when the boisterous kid's mother walked in cracked a joke about the drowning and how he should know to hold on. I snapped, I turned around and said, "you should try and chat to your son about listening to the teacher." It is all I said and she started yelling about me blaming her son. I was not, it was not his fault, but if he could just stay tuned to the other kids...I tried telling her I was not blaming her son but she wouldn't listen. I was angry at her partly because she finds her son's indifference to authority funny.

When I came out of the change room she was waiting outside and I told my husband what I had told her and she started yelling again about me not having manners and I should not speak about other people's children. I feel bad about the whole situation, but I was the mother who saw my kid go under water, he cannot swim, he is three years old!! I do not find any of it funny. None of the other mothers tried to joke about it. Everyone gave the little guy a pat on the back and said he should come back next week. No one spoke to me. I still need to have a good cry because I was so scared. I thought I lost my baby.

Perhaps I am very wrong with what I told the mother. Perhaps I should have apologized to her. I don't know. She does need to deal with her son. I deal with mine on a daily basis, especially about his interaction with other kids. Everyone's child is special and I do not want my son hurting someone else's baby.

The teacher was genuinely sorry and she said she would never do what she did today, going under water when the kids were on the float. It is disconcerting for children. I want to follow up with the pool folks on how they address incidents such as this. Neither Hubby nor I were in the state of mind to talk to anyone today. We were both angry and upset and wanted to leave.

I can't let this go, I have to go back and talk to the pool administrators and then maybe follow up with the City. But what I really want to do is just go away, away from this horrid City, away from people who cry racism for every little thing, away from all this political correctness...I just don't want to deal with any of this anymore! I need a time out.

Lamb chops a la Dork

2012-03-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

We had a very expensive meal this weekend. Lamb chops, Australian lamb chops at that. When I say expensive I am not speaking of the money we paid, but more about the cost of production, transportation etc. We do have lamb every now and then, but every time I pick it up at the grocery shop I hear that small voice of reason tell me how environmentally unfriendly that is, in so many bloody (literally) ways! But the carnivore in me cannot resist temptation.

It turned out pretty well for chops that were pan seared and popped in the oven for an hour while the Offspring entertained himself (a rare occurrence) and Hubby and I discussed Arundhati Roy's most recent essay (a topic for another time). I usually have fresh rosemary, but this time I just used some dried herbs, plenty of garlic, black pepper and fennel to rub over the chops and seared them on the pan and then transferred to a baking dish. I popped it in the oven, covered, to cook for over an hour. We all eat the meat well done, hence the hour. And lest I forget Hubby made the mash from scratch.

So that's dinner a la Dork, vast improvements if I may say so myself. Perhaps I should try a greener meal next time? Greener in every sense of the word!

p.s. While my cooking has improved I am getting nowhere with taking decent pictures of my accomplishment. Such a bummer.

Embalmed Roses

2012-03-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

While at Canada Blooms (yes, I am still on that, it is my usual Spring highlight, just a tad tainted this year) we were negotiating a really crowded aisle with a sleeping child in the giant stroller when I noticed a man holding out a rose. It seemed like he wanted to give it to me, but he seemed very reluctant. Being the cheeky monkey that I can be sometimes I said, "thank you very much, that is so sweet." He quickly pulled back and brought the flower close to my face. I figured he just wanted me to smell it, it was really fragrant, just like my English roses. But they seemed a little worse for the wear. I looked at him as if to ask what the deal was so he started to explain.

"You see, they are like embalmed roses," he said. That is the first time I had ever heard of embalmed flowers. Apparently these guys take out the sap and replace it with something akin to embalming fluid. Fancy that! I have seem human bodies being embalmed but never thought of flowers being embalmed.

They seem like a fairly large organisation and it looks like they came all the way from South Africa to exhibit their work. Iluba has a local operation too. The folks at the stall were lovely, not to mention the accent. I could have stood there listening forever about how they did what they did if it weren't for the fact we were on a short time line (we had to get through what we wanted to while the Offspring napped) and we were being jostled by everyone who passed by. Also the idea of dead flowers posing as live ones did not appeal to me.

I love fresh cut flowers for their short, vibrant and fragrant lives. They don't drag themselves around and stink up like us humans. But embalming them...it is a novel idea, but not one that appeals to me. I think I have made my point. Having said that these guys do some pretty amazing work. Check their South African website. I, in the meantime, will simply wait for my roses to show up sometime in June and enjoy their fragrant and fleeting lives.

My very own David Austin's Golden Celebration