Building Healthy Habits

Epic Fail

2017-08-13T17:57:00.001-04:00

I was 2 weeks into establishing my first habit. All was going well; my goal was to simply change into exercise clothes after work every day. Not only had I managed to change into workout clothes every day, I also managed to get quite a bit of exercise as well. Then it all came crashing down and turned into one epic failure…

After completing two weeks I found myself heading to Pittsburg for a bachelor party. I had a great time, but I definitely came home on Sunday quite tired. Monday morning was rough as I was still recovering from a weekend full of late nights and unhealthy eating. When I got home, I realized that I had forgotten that one of my daughter’s was at soccer camp; I needed to go get her at 7PM. I grabbed a quick bite for dinner, took a quick shower and then headed out the door. About halfway there I realized that I had forgotten to change into my workout clothes.

From there things only got worse; over the course of the next couple days I got severely depressed. I kept thinking that if I couldn’t succeed at this very simple goal, how could I possibly do anything that would be difficult? My depression turned into poor eating, lousy performance at work, and basically turning myself into a vegetable on the couch in the evening.

The week has passed now and I’m feeling better, but I need to start over. I’ve decided that if I want to build healthy habits, I’m going to need to start at the beginning. I need to start each day right, I need to start each day with a win. One of my struggles as of late has been just getting myself out of bed. The alarm goes off at 5:45AM and I usually get up, turn it off, and lay back down for at least a half hour and sometimes more. I don’t have to be at work until 8AM, but I like going in at 7AM so I don’t have to stay late in the evening. Lately It’s been all I can do to get to work by 8AM.

As I look back at this horrible week I had, it dawned on me that every morning started off terrible. When I get up on time then there’s time to think about what I’m grateful for. When I get up on time I get to work early and have a stress free hour to get ready for my day. When I get up on time I give myself a chance to have a good day.

So my new habit to focus on for the next 21 days is to get up when my alarm goes off. I will do it every work day; on weekends I do not set my alarm (that will be my reward for completing each week).

So that’s my new hait to focus on, but at the same time I also need to get myself back on the healthy bandwagon. I’ve been eating terrible since the bachelor party and I have gotten no exercise at all. What’s truly sad is that there’s a walking trail where my daughter has soccer practice. She had practice every day last week and I was there for at least 2 hours each night. One would have thought I could use the opportunity to walk, but all I did was sit there and play on my phone.

That same daughter today told me she’s worried that I won’t live to see her 18^th birthday. While I won’t pretend that it didn’t hurt to hear that, I will admit it has brought me a new level of motivation to accelerate my focus on becoming healthy. Now mind you, I’ve come a long way, but I still have a long way to go as well. It’s time to get back to business. She practices twice week now for the foreseeable future and I plan to walk at least 30 minutes on those nights. I also need to find other ways to stay active the rest of the week.

I’m also going back to my healthy eating lifestyle; No processed sugar or carbs, lots of veggies, and plenty of water. The first few days are always the hardest, but then I start to feel really good. Once I get to that point I need to constantly remind myself just how bad I start feel when I stray in my eating.

Wish me luck as I reset. Stay Strong!

Does Sugar Make Me Depressed?

2017-08-01T20:27:00.000-04:00

I’m 45 years old and I can’t believe I’ve never noticed this before…

I’m starting to wonder if sugar (or carbohydrates in general) actually contributes to my depression. Though I’ve never been diagnosed, I’m fairly confident that I have some level of depression. When I was younger it never even dawned on me, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve been much more cognizant about how I feel. Since the move to NC I’ve struggled a bit more and have actually considered talking to a doctor. But then it goes away and all seems fine.

One other note; for quite some time I’ve been eating a fairly low carb diet. I try to avoid sugar and all processed carbs like bread, rice, and pasta. I’ve come to like this style of eating; I don’t go hard core low carb but at the same time I don’t waste time eating unnecessary carbs.

Anyway, this last weekend I was celebrating another great week and meeting my habit goal for the second straight week. On Sunday we went on a 4.5 mile hike and afterward we stopped and I got a big orange slushy. Later that night I also had a nice big bowl of ice cream. Those two items were the only processed sugar I had over the last 2 weeks.

Monday came and I woke up miserable! I was totally unproductive all day at work and my brain just felt really foggy. I told my wife that I was severely depressed. I got through the day and then on Tuesday morning I woke up still feeling depressed, but a little better. By the end of the day I was back to my old self.

As I reflected on how I felt and how quickly I went from very bad to feeling much better It dawned on me that maybe my large quantity of sugar was what put me into a depressed state. I started researching sugar and depression and found a surprising amount of articles linking the two. Could sugar be making me depressed? Is that why I go from high to low and back to high again so quickly?

Of course there could be other factors, only time will tell, but it gives me a great idea for my next habit goal. One more week to go on my current goal (changing into exercise clothes every day after work) and then we’ll see what I add next.

Stay Strong!

First 7 Days - Habit #1

2017-07-23T20:01:00.003-04:00

I am happy to report that my first 7 days have been successful. Every day after work I changed into workout clothes. I know this might seem silly to you that my goal is to just simply change into my workout clothes, but the idea is that I'm focused on building a habit, not on actually working out. I'm teaching my brain to think about exercise automatically everyday after work. Even though I didn't have to I also decided to extend my routine into the weekend and on both days I was successful.

Of course just because my daily goal doesn't include exercise, that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to get some. In fact this week was probably the most active week I've had since we moved here:

On the first day I was already in my workout clothes, so I decided to get on the elliptical and run out a mile. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday the family decided to go play tennis after dinner. 1 hour each day running around in the sweltering heat (we've been in the high 90's all week). Thursday my daughter had soccer practice so no time to work out, but as soon as I got home I changed into workout clothes, then I proceeded to change right out of them and get ready for bed. Friday brought more tennis as well as a bonus round on Saturday. Today was 3 hours of yard work during the day. No tennis tonight, but as I'm writing I'm in my workout clothes :)

It's important to note that not only do I make sure to change into my workout clothes each day, but I've also stopped to think about how I feel meeting that goal each day. It might be a simple goal to meet, but the reward is that I completed it every day. That feels great. Not only that but on the days that I got out and exercised I also made note of how satisfied I felt afterward. Again I'm teaching myself that my habit brings positive feelings.

My goal is to put on my exercise clothes every day after work. In the first week I met my target, did it for an additional 2 days on the weekend, and also got close to 6 hours of activity in that I normally would not do. Not too shabby!

I'm sure some who read this just won't get what I'm doing, but it makes sense to me. 14 days to go!

A New Beginning, A New Way of Thinking – Building Healthy Habits

2017-07-18T18:19:00.000-04:00

Greetings fellow bloggers! I can’t believe my last post was 18 months ago. A lot has happened in my life since I did the 180 in 360challenge. I can honestly say that when I look back at 2015 it will likely be one of the most pivotal points in my life.

So where have I been for the last 18 months? Glad you asked. For starters I can say my health has still been a primary focus in my life. I am happy to say that I have completely kicked the alcohol dependency! In fact in the last year I can count how many times I’ve had a drink on one hand.

I have also managed to stay away from tobacco. I still use an e-cig, but the nicotine level is so low now that I’m starting to question why I even use it; I think it’s just out of habit now.

And what about the weight? Well I’m happy to say that I have NOT put the weight back on that I lost in 2015. At the end of 2015 I was at 300 pounds. I don’t weigh myself very often these days, but at last check I was somewhere around 305.

Now you might be wondering why I’m back and I’m calling this a new beginning. Well, for starters I just finished moving my family to NC and have taken on an exciting new challenge in my career. I’m excited; My wife and I lived in NC about 12 years ago and now we finally made it back here. We have moved around quite a bit in my career, but now that the kids are older the plan is to make this area permanent for the foreseeable future. The last 6 months have probably been the most stressful that I can remember, yet I have not succumbed to the usual bad unhealthy habits that usually overtake me and force me off the wagon.

We’ve been here now for about 3 months. Now that the dust has settled I’m ready to take my healthy living to the next level and maybe drop some more weight while I’m at it. However, I know what happens when I go on a diet; I’ve yo-yoed myself too many times to think that anything would be any different this time. It’s time to change my way of thinking…

I’ve decided that instead of focusing on losing weight or focusing on exercising more, I’m going to turn my focus towards building habits. The way I see it, if I can teach myself how to create habits then I can choose to develop habits that will help me to be healthier. I’m also hoping that as I learn to create habits, I might stumble across certain Keystone habits that will even accelerate my healthy living.

The Plan

I’ve already read quite a lot about creating habits; Most people agree that you need to start small and that it takes at least 21 days to make a habit. Ok, so I’m going to pick 1 habit and I’m going to start small. Since this is all about my health the first habit I want to establish is an exercise habit.

Now remember, I’m focused on building a habit, I’m not focused on exercising or losing weight. The first thing I want to do is establish a routine. I know from experience that I am not a morning workout person. In fact I want to save my mornings for focusing on my mental health (after I establish this first habit). I’m going to start with building an exercise habit after work. My objective is real simple:

For the next 21 days I will change into workout clothes after work

That’s it! No more requirements other than to change into workout clothes. If I choose to exercise that’s fine, but it’s not required. By changing into those clothes I’m going to begin programming my mind to prepare myself for exercise. I’m going to begin building the exercise habit.

Notice I’m not talking about how much weight I’m going to lose or how much exercise I’m going to get. I want to exercise and I want lose weight and be healthy, but to get there I need to teach myself to create habits that give me those results.

I welcome you to follow me as I see how this experiment plays out. After 21 days I will add another habit and/or increase the requirements on one of my existing habit declarations. Over time I am hoping these habits will stick and become a normal part of my life. Wish me luck!

[Photo: Flickr / dierk schaefer]

Day #360 - Was It Another Wasted Year?

2016-01-01T11:25:00.001-05:00

At the end of 2014 I was miserable. For the third year in a row I felt like I was worse off than the previous year. I was depressed and only a couple pounds away from my highest weight ever. I was also smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and binge drinking every weekend just to escape reality. For me it truly felt like I had hit an all-time low.

My wife and I decided to take a trip to New Orleans at the end of the year. During that trip I made the decision that if I didn't change my ways, I wouldn't have too many years left. At 43 years old I had to make a change and I had to stop filling my years with failure.

On January 5th, 2015 I started a new 360 day journey. The goal was simple... Make my health a priority in 2015 and turn my life around. So how did I do? Did I change my ways or was it another wasted year full of empty promises?

In order to turn things around I set 3 very aggressive goals:

Quit Smoking
Quit Drinking Alcohol
Lose 100 Pounds

I knew this was a tough order... completing even just one of these goals would be incredibly tough, but I also knew that I have a tendency to aim low and under-achieve. I wanted 2015 to be different and I needed some drastic change.

January - March

My very first focus was to quit smoking. For the first 3 months of the year almost all my energy went into quitting smoking. It was tough but I quit cold turkey. During those first three months I also managed to not gain any weight. However, to compensate I started drinking more.

During the first 3 months I put a lot of focus on being mindful about my health. I found myself thinking about it everyday. It was this mindfulness that really helped me stay focused on the long road I had ahead. I also started to accept that I couldn't be perfect and that I had to look at the small victories instead of focusing all the time on the failures.

April - June

After my first 90 days I was feeling pretty good. I was still smoke free and now putting focus on drinking less. As I cut back on my drinking I realized that it also became easier to stick to a diet plan and lose some weight. By the end of April I had managed to drop almost 20 pounds. However, the road was still long and hard and it only got worse when I started having knee problems. May was a depressing month with lots of knee pain. I gave back some of my weight loss and by the end of June, after 6 months of being smoke free, I fell off the smoking wagon. I started to get depressed thinking I was heading right back to where I started and thinking it would be another wasted year, but I refused to give up.

July - September

July brought a change in plans. Specifically my new doctor recommend I try a no sugar, low carb diet. It worked better than even I expected and I lost almost 25 pounds in July alone! I was still off the wagon with the smoking but my drinking was much more under control. Instead of drinking all weekend every weekend it became more of a once or twice a month thing. More importantly, my drinking became less about escaping reality and more about just relaxing and having a good time. After a few months of smoking I also decided I needed to act or risk finishing the year as a smoker again. I did some research and ended up buying an e-cig.

By the end of September I was down about 27 pounds, had much better control of my drinking, and had again stopped using tobacco.

October - December

With 90 Days left in the year I made the last big push. At one point early in December I pushed past the 50 pound mark and got below 300 before giving a little of it back during the holidays. I'm still using the e-cig, with the occasional slip up here and there. My drinking is well under control, in fact I only drank once in December (New Year's Eve)

The Final Results

Quitting Smoking - Good

Completely tobacco and nicotine free for 6 months
Mostly tobacco free for 4 months
2 month slip-up

Quitting Drinking - Fair

Still drinking, but under much better control and not being used as an escape from reality

Losing Weight - Very Good

Day 1 Starting Weight - 347
Current Weight - 300

Weight Lost in 2015 - 47

Any year that you lose 47 pounds is a good year!

So as the clock ticked over to 2016 I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. Was my 2015 perfect? Not even close! However, I did make my health a priority and I have turned things around. I made significant progress in all three of my areas of focus and I'm stronger mentally. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm back on the right track.

The journey is not over, I still have a long way to go, but I know I can do it. Best of luck to all you out there trying to make a change. Day 360 is in the books, on to Day 361 and a new year with new goals.

Stay Strong!

Day #237 - Staying Accountable

2015-08-29T07:32:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't been around lately, but I wanted to put a post out just to keep myself accountable. My numbers are below...

Day 1 Starting Weight- 347

August 1 Weight - 318

Current Weight - 308

Weight Lost in August - 10

Total Weight Lost This Year - 39 lbs

Obviously it was a good month with 10 pounds being shed. I've settled in to this new lifestyle of eating low carb and avoiding sugar. When I started this change I was afraid that maybe I was a sugar addict and that any small amount would send me right back on the old path. It turns out that's not the case for me as I've had small amounts of sugar here and there in August. Each time I was not compelled to simply abandon my plan and easily went right back to it the next day.

All in all I'm in a pretty good place right now. In July I had fallen off the wagon with the smoking but recently I quit again and switched to vaping.

As for the alcohol, I barely touch it anymore. The need to drink on the weekends just isn't there.

Mentally I feel great. I might not get to 100 pounds this year, but I'm definitely on the right path. Someday I'll get there!

Stay Strong Folks!

Day #210 - Surviving Vacation

2015-08-02T08:52:00.000-04:00

The scale might say I put a couple pounds on during vacation, but I know the real story...

I just got back from a great vacation. I traveled up to the northeast to visit family this last week. The vacation was great, and despite having to drive 14 hours to get there and 14 hours back, it was nice to get away for a while.

Traveling always poses challenges when you are trying to eat right. However, if I had to grade myself on how well I ate during the trip I would have to give myself a solid "A". I avoided sugar entirely during the trip and I did not go over my carb limits. The only area where I could have done a little better was drinking more water.

I'm thrilled that I did so well, especially given the amount of opportunities I had to eat sugar. During the last week I celebrated my 43rd birthday followed by my daughter's 12th birthday just 2 days later. In the last 10 days I was exposed to birthday cake and ice cream 3 times! The first was on the night just before we left. My daughter researched low carb cakes and made me a low carb cheesecake for my birthday. I had 1 slice at only 10 carbs! The other 2 times were regular cakes served with ice cream; I passed on both occasions and never had a second thought! What's more, I never even considered having cake; I just wasn't interested.

So now I'm back from vacation and ready to take things to the next level. As I said in the beginning the scale says I put a couple pounds on during vacation, but I suspect that's just water retention since I didn't get enough water. I expect that in a few days that weight will be gone. In August I want to lose 15 more pounds. This will get me very close to dropping under 300. I will be back to update my progress from time to time.

Stay Strong!

Day #196 - Flipping the Switch

2015-07-19T10:20:00.001-04:00

Starting Weight - 347

Weight Last Week - 324

Current Weight - 317

Weight Lost Last Week - 7

Total Weight Lost This Year - 30 lbs

For the first half of the year I only managed to lose 10 lbs. The best thing I can say about my first six months was that I managed to not gain more weight. However, in the last 3 weeks I've managed to double up on what I had lost so far adding a surprising 20 lbs to my total. 7 more lbs last week and 20 lbs in 3 weeks, obviously I'm thrilled.

I've been thinking about this post all week, trying to come up with some way of describing how I'm feeling since I totally gave up sugar and started eating a low carb diet. It's really hard to share because I've never really felt this way before... EVER!

After the first week of sugar detox it's like a switch flipped inside my head. A switch that's never been touched before, something that lay dormant inside me with cobwebs all over it. My appetite... gone. My cravings for certain foods... gone. These two things alone are great, but it's even more than that. My concentration is improved, I'm doing better in my job. My outlook has improved, I'm not seeing my mood go up and down as much.

To all of you out there who have written about the evils of sugar, let me apologize for how I used to feel. I used to read those posts and think that it was all wrong... that anything was OK, even sugar, if it was in moderation. I never realized how sugar had such a hold on me, not just cravings for more sugar, but overall cravings and appetite for even non-sugar foods.

As a testament to how this switch has flipped, let me share with you some information about my last 3 weeks...

In the last 3 weeks I have lost 20 pounds. I have not felt deprived in any way and have not had a single craving (after sugar detox). During this time of losing about 1 pound per day I have gone out the eat 3 times... The first time I went to Chinese buffet. I ordered water and stuck only to non-breaded items, vegetables, and meat. Any of the dishes that had a sweet flavor were skipped. I walked out completely satisfied, not needing dessert. The second time I went to a burger joint for lunch . I ordered a big fat juicy burger with bacon and an egg on top, but instead of a bun I got it on a lettuce wrap. Instead of fries I got a side salad. The third time I went out, we went to a steakhouse. My daughter wanted ribs so bad but they don't have them on the kids menu. I ordered a rack of ribs to split with her and we split the sides; she got the mashed potatoes and I got the side salad, again, picking out the croutons. Rolls came out early on and it was no issue to watch everyone else have them, I just munched on a few peanuts. All this and I'm still losing weight week after week.

With each passing week I see just how much food used to consume my thoughts. When I woke I used to think about getting a nice big breakfast and no sooner than after breakfast was over my thoughts would turn to what I had for snacks or what I wanted to eat for lunch. I used to think about food all the time. No so much anymore, food is starting to become an afterthought. I'm not bored with what I eat, but at the same time, I'm not excited about food either. My trips out to eat were more enjoyable because of the people I was with and the discussions we had; the food was not the main attraction!

So this is the best I can do to explain where I'm at right now. I can't promise this approach works for everyone, but it certainly seems like I've found my path. I still have a long way to go, but my confidence is very strong that I can get there going in the direction I'm going. After next week I go on vacation and I plan to continue my losing ways right through it. When I return I will go after my next challenge... getting more exercise.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Playing Futures: Applied Nomadology]

Day #189 - Phase I Complete

2015-07-12T10:45:00.000-04:00

This morning I stepped on the scale after 13 days of low carb and no sugar...

Starting Weight - 337

Current Weight - 324

Total Weight Loss - 13 pounds

I'm not sure I can describe how I feel right now. I'm shocked, elated, relieved, cautious, and hopeful all rolled into one!

I have been on a million different diets. On some of them, I lost a big chunk of weight in the first week, but that was always water weight and the second week usually ended up being a letdown. Never have I ever lost this much weight over the course of two weeks.

What's more startling to me is that I feel great. No hunger, no feelings of deprivation, no cravings, no lack of energy; all the telltale signs of a "diet" are missing from the picture. I feel like I could continue on this path without fear of burnout.

I've read a lot of literature on the evils of sugar. I've always held the belief that anything is OK as long as it is in moderation. I'm not so sure about that belief anymore. Even though I never considered myself a sugar addict, I am now questioning if sugar wasn't the primary source of all my mental woes when it came to overeating. Did it cause cravings? Not just cravings for sugar, but cravings for more food. Did it make me irritable and cranky when I didn't feed the addiction? I know the first 4 days of no sugar were a nightmare for me, but since then no withdrawal symptoms.

I'm starting to convince myself that no sugar is helping me with the mental aspect of my weight loss while low carb is forcing my body to burn the fat stores I have. Whatever the cause, I can say the effect is that I feel incredible right now!

So what's the next step. That's easy, I'm going to continue on this same path. I could continue to stay at 20g of carbs and I think I would be fine. However, the one thing I feel like I'm missing is fruit. According to the Atkins program I could now go as high as 60g of carbs and still lose weight, or I can stay at phase I and continue to lose weight faster. I'm only using Atkins as a guideline so I'm going my own route. For the next 2 weeks I'm going to target no more than 30g of carbs. This gives me 10 carbs more than what I'm currently doing which means I can probably have one small piece of fruit each day. I won't be able to have all fruits, some are very high in carbs, but at least I can get a few.

My goal for the next 2 weeks is to lose 7 more pounds putting me at 20 pounds lost in the first month. After that I go on vacation in Maine for a week and that will be my first big test of my resolve. Wish me luck.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Chris Potter]

Day #182 - A Change in Plans

2015-07-05T11:50:00.001-04:00

In my last couple of posts I talked about a major mental shift where I wanted to stop focusing on diet and instead focus more on just living a healthy lifestyle. I could almost feel the eye rolling from the blogging world as I published that post. Well here I am a few weeks later and I'm happy to say that those weeks were not a disaster. I stuck to my new plan and truly enjoyed it.

I've been doing well, eating reasonably healthy with a few splurges here and there. My mental state has been strong. I didn't get that job in Wilmington and I actually felt a little relieved that we didn't have to move again so quickly. All in all it was a pretty good 3 weeks. The only problem... I didn't lose any weight.

I knew that going away from dieting and instead just trying to be mindful and make good choices would slow my weight loss down. I kind of thought that maybe I would lose about 0.5 pounds each week and it would slowly creep down over the next couple years, but after a month, I went from 337 to 337, exactly 0 pounds lost.

Not losing any weight was a little surprising, but that alone wouldn't be enough to get me to change my mind, I'm as happy now as I've been in a long time so what if I'm not losing weight. However, a trip to my new doctor helped me change my mind...

2 weeks ago I went for my first physical in this new area. I found a great doctor to be my physician and when we met, I also found out he specializes in bariatric medicine. I got my cursory physical, but we really spent a lot of time talking about the history of my weight. I told him everything about my successes and failures all the way up to my current mode of just trying to be healthy and keeping a strong mental focus and awareness. Although he didn't really roll his eyes, I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to.

The doctor told me that he likes someone that's a little overweight to lose weight slowly over time in order to reduce the risk of just putting it back on. It made sense to me. "However", he continued, "you are not just a little overweight, you are SEVERELY overweight." He told me that I needed to start seriously dropping pounds and he was giving me 6 months to show some serious progress. He told me that my best approach would be an Atkins style of eating; no sugar and highly restrictive on carbs. After that, if I didn't get anywhere he said the next step would be to talk about weight loss medications, and failing that, we would next discuss weight loss surgery options. It was a little dis-heartening to have someone shoot down your plan, but I pride myself on not dismissing other people's opinions just because they are different from mine.

I went home and spent the next couple days thinking about what the doctor had said. Atkins? That is one diet that I never tried. Back in the 90's I remember a guy at work who was doing Atkins and I can remember him sitting down at break end just eating nothing but 10 slices of bacon. I remember telling myself that Atkins had to be the most unhealthy diets in the world and that I would never do that. It's funny how certain events can mold your perception because up until now I've never really considered Atkins to be a healthy choice for weight loss.

I thought about my current plan and situation more, and then it came to me... There's nothing wrong with my mindset, it's just the timing is off. The mindset I've been carrying around for a while now is the mindset I will need to have AFTER I lose all this weight. Once the weight is gone I need to practice mindful eating and won't need to weigh myself all the time. After I lose the weight I need to stop worrying about counting things and instead just focus on being healthy. My current mode is that of someone who is on a maintenance plan!

So I got the Atkins book out at the library. I don't particularly like the book, but the science behind it seems reasonable, so 6 days ago Mrs. FogDog and I started the Atkins Phase I plan. This first week was brutal, I had headaches, I was tired, and at times felt a little nauseous from cutting sugar and carbs from my diet. Fortunately, and as the book promised, that has now gone away and I feel much better. Tomorrow is my first weigh-in and I am hoping to see a really good number.

So now my plans have changed and I find myself back at putting a serious focus on dropping pounds. At the start of the year I made a goal to drop 100 pounds. That's probably not going to happen given that it is now July, but my goal is to go back to the doctor in 6 months 50 pounds lighter.

I'll keep blogging periodically to show my progress; wish me luck.

Stay Strong!

Day #160 - Evolution

2015-06-13T10:16:00.001-04:00

When I started this process 160 days ago I knew it would be hard to change. I knew there would be challenges, ups and downs, and the occasional setback. What I didn't expect, however, was a complete change in the way I approach losing weight.

This is an expansion of my last post in which I declared that I'm done focusing on losing weight and instead I am shifting my focus to living a happy, healthy life. Though the difference can appear subtle, but it's fairly significant from my mental perspective.

Here's a comparison of my old and new way of approaching the problem:

Old Plan - Focus on losing weight

Carb cycle 6 days a week - Eat 6 times a day with no carbs on "low" days and some carbs on "high" days
Unrestricted day on Sunday
Drink a gallon of water every day
Weigh-in every week and record on spreadsheet
Blog every day for accountability

New Plan - Focus on being healthy

Try to avoid processed foods and refined sugar
Try to eat a wide variety of foods that I enjoy
Eat only when I'm hungry; stop before I'm full
Practice awareness eating and slow down
Drink water when I'm thirsty
Weigh-in once a month
Blog when I have something to say

Under the old plan I ate as part of a "regimen" whether I was hungry or not. On my unrestricted day I inevitably would eat way too much, trying to get it all in before another 6 days of restriction. As I got to the end of the day if I didn't have all my water in then I started drinking it faster to get it all in. The only measure of my success or failure...the scale. When I didn't feel like blogging, I did it anyway because I said I would.

It just wasn't working, I wasn't happy, I had to try something completely different.

I've been following this new plan for the last 10 days and I feel great. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I might not lose weight as fast this way, but I'll be happier through the process.

More to come

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Bryan Wright]

Day #150 - I'm Done Trying to Lose Weight

2015-06-03T21:31:00.002-04:00

Today marks the end of 5 months of focus on improving my health with 7 more to go! So far I've managed to quit smoking and drastically reduce my alcohol consumption. Today I add something new, I'm going to quit trying to lose weight!

Yes you are reading correctly, I said that I am giving up on trying to lose weight. Now don't get me wrong, I'm overweight and I recognize that I need to lose close to 150 pounds. I haven't stopped caring about my health and I have no intention of staying at my current weight, I've simply decided to shift my focus.

My entire adult life has been spent focused on trying to drop pounds on a scale. I've tried weight loss plan after weight loss plan. Some have been successful (for a short while) and some have been total disasters. Ultimately the one thing they all had in common was that eventually, whatever weight was lost came back and in some cases a few pounds more.

The best way to solve a problem is to focus on, and eliminate the root cause. For years my focus has been on losing weight, but in reality, my weight isn't my problem. My weight is the result of the problem, not the problem itself. I've spent so much time trying to fix the effect instead of focusing on the true problem.

So what is the true problem? The true problem is that I do not treat my body with respect. Because I do not treat my body with respect I am overweight, I have sleep apnea, I have knee pain, etc.

So why don't I treat my body with respect? Well, that's what I need to focus on. For one, I don't think my life is fulfilling. I also don't deal with stress real well. There are probably a great number of things that I need to work on and hopefully in the months to come I will identify them and work on getting better.

So what do I mean when I say I'm not going to try to lose weight and instead focus on treating my body with respect? It means that I will no longer spend time developing restrictive eating plans to follow or exercise regimes. It means that I will no longer obsess about what the scale reads and I will not zone in on just one measure of my health.

I'm trying something new; my belief is that if I can focus on treating my body with respect and fix the things that cause me to abuse my body, then the weight (and all my other health problems) will begin to take care of themselves. I know this might seem a little hokey to some, but is it any crazier than trying over and over again to lose weight only to end up with the same result.

In the days ahead I will post more details about where I'm going. Your welcome to come along for the ride... who knows where it's going to end up.

Stay Strong!

Day #149 - Impressive Trip Home

2015-06-02T19:35:00.000-04:00

I'm happy to be back in Virginia! The business trip was terrible and all I wanted to do was get home. I mentioned in a previous post that I bought an audio book for the trip, it was called "What are you hungry for?" by Deepak Chopra. I wish I could say that I highly recommend the book, but I can't. It was OK in the sense that it really got me thinking through the trip, but I struggled with the fact that the author chose to do the audio (with his fairly strong Indian accent) and the book felt like it jumped around. There were 2 sections that I really enjoyed and 3 sections that I just didn't care for at all. The first part of the book put a lot of focus on understanding that a lot of times we don't eat because we are hungry, but rather, because we are missing something in our lives. I enjoyed that section. There was also another section dedicated to stress and stress eating coupled with awareness eating (and living). The rest of the book jumped around a little and it spent way too much time focused on the different "tastes" as well as the healing power of certain spices. Unabridged didn't help either as the author often would call out all the foods from a list, something that would have been glazed over if you were reading instead of listening.

As I said it was successful to the extent that it got me thinking about myself and I'll be posting about some changes I'm going to make in the coming days. I've already began to work on these changes which included my eating on the trip home. I was able to stop for a coffee at 10AM and NOT get a bagel or donut. Under normal circumstances I would, especially since it was on the company dime, but I wasn't hungry. Lunch turned out to be a great Cobb salad and fruit bowl. No junk food, no sugary drinks, and no dessert. Dinner was equally well handled and I'm eager to get rolling again and get back to my healthy living.

Tomorrow marks the 5 month point of my journey.

Stay Strong!

Day #148 - Mobile Post

2015-06-01T20:48:00.001-04:00

This is the first time that I've posted from my mobile phone. I'm going to keep it short, because this is kind of difficult to do. I am on the road and away from my family, not a whole lot of fun. I have done well eating and trying to drink water oh, but I could also be doing better. I hope everyone else is doing well

Stay strong!

Day #147 - What Are You Hungry For?

2015-05-31T15:15:00.001-04:00

I'm off to NY, leaving right after I post this. I got myself a couple of good audio books, one is called "What are you hungry for?" It's supposed to explore the real reasons behind what you eat. I promise when I get back from my trip (Wednesday) I'll write a review.

Stay Strong!

Day #146 - Say it Isn't So!

2015-05-30T19:39:00.001-04:00

When my eyes popped open first thing this morning I knew... I forgot to post yesterday! For 144 days I posted at least something, it wasn't much sometimes, but always something. What's strange is that I really simply forgot. It wasn't like I had an incredibly busy day, I just forgot. I got home late from work and then we watched a show with the kids and I ended up going to bed early because I was tired.

It's kind of a pointer at where I've been lately with my mindset. I'm not doing bad with eating, but at the same time, healthy eating isn't really on my mind like it was just a month or two ago. I've been doing a lot of deep thinking, but it's not about health, it's more about me and my life.

I'm not going to get too worked up over this, it was bound to happen. I'll be traveling next week and my schedule will be very hectic. There might be future days when I simply can't post.

On the bright side, I got on the scale this morning and saw that I lost 1.5 pounds for the week. As I said, I'm not doing bad, I'm just not dieting like I usually do. Come to think of it, maybe this is how it should be. Maybe I just need to be better than I was and make slow changes over time to get where I want.

As I said, I'll be traveling to NY tomorrow and won't be back home until Wednesday. It's a 6 hour drive each way so I was thinking about downloading an e-book or two for the ride. Maybe something about health and happiness.

One last note, I got a phone interview next week with the facility in Wilmington NC. It's a big promotion opportunity and an absolutely great place to move to. I don't think I have a great chance; it's a pretty big step to a different division, but even if it doesn't go well I'm still happy where I am. We'll see how it goes.

146 Days in the books, on to 147.

Stay Strong!

Day #144 - Taking a Page From My Daughter's Book

2015-05-28T20:57:00.000-04:00

My daughter has been playing recreational soccer since she was in pre-school. This year she decided to try out for the competitive travel team. This was her first time doing something that was not guaranteed success; only 12 players get selected. They had three sessions and she attended all of them. After her first session she was confident as they spent a lot of time demonstrating their footwork and shooting skills, two things that she does quite well.

The second practice was a different story. Most of the session was a scrimmage on an extremely small space. Most of the time was spent watching kids try to out-maneuver each other in very little space or defenders just kicking the ball as hard as possible because the opposite goal was only about 20 yards away. My daughter prefers to play position in open space and she tends to shy away from hard kicks so she struggled. After practice she had a meltdown because she thought that she wasn't going to make the team. I told her that she basically had two choices, she could shake off the bad practice and do her best in the last session, or she could just give up.

Session #3 went much better, and she even did well in some of her weaker areas. Tonight we got the call that she made the team!

I took her out to celebrate and made sure to point out that part of the reason why she made it is because she didn't give up. Funny how I can coach her to keep on fighting but it's a struggle to remind myself sometimes. I've been going at it for 144 days. I've struggled some; especially in the last 40 or so day, but I still haven't given up. I hope I can get to the end of this year and see the same success my daughter saw today.

Congrats Liz, I'm very proud of you!

Stay Strong!

Day #143 - Crazy Schedule

2015-05-27T22:16:00.000-04:00

Short post tonight, as it's already after 10PM. From work to soccer to a music concert, I wasn't home until 9PM and did not get dinner. I did eat a bagel when I got home; not the best choice, but not the worst either. I got my gallon of water in and stuck to my eating plan (except for the bagel). More tomorrow.

Stay Strong!

Day #142 - Back to it After a Holiday

2015-05-26T20:03:00.002-04:00

I was right back at it today after the Memorial holiday. I got my gallon of water in and stuck to my eating plan. At lunchtime I went for a 2 mile walk with a friend. It was super hot and humid today and so I was dripping with sweat by the time we got done. After that I managed to do something I rarely do... I turned down going out for lunch with my friend.

He didn't bring his lunch so he suggested we stop somewhere quick on the way back from our walk. I told him I would stop wherever he wanted but I was fine (I had a packed lunch waiting for me back at work). While he went in and got some food, I used the time to run my car AC and get some of the sweat off me; my shirt was soaked.

I did have a little extra at dinner, but given the rest of the day I think it was a pretty good one. #142 is in the books, on to #143.

Stay Strong!

Day #141 - Character Flaw

2015-05-25T18:45:00.000-04:00

I know how to lose weight...

I've read countless books, articles, and blogs about losing weight. I have been on a ton of different eating plans. through trial and error I have discovered how to take off my excess pounds, and I have lost weight on many occasions. In my adult life my weight has been as low as 260 and as high as 350 and everywhere in between.

I am motivated to lose weight...

I'm 42 years old and most days I feel exhausted from carrying all this bulk around. My knees are showing early stages of arthritis; I already suffer from knee pain at night. My kids are entering their teen years; there's still a lot I need/want to be able to do with my family. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So I am motivated and I know how to do it, so how come I don't lose weight???

This year has been all about shifting my mindset and smashing perceptions that are not real. Today I might need to smash another one of my perceptions... that I have tons of character.

Character is something that you have no matter what anyone else thinks. Character drives you to do great things, it helps you to deal with the tough situations, and it defines who you are. Naturally we all think we are full of character, but the reality is that most of us don't have nearly as much as we like to think.

For years I always assumed that it must be some missing piece of the weight loss puzzle that kept me from dropping the pounds. I explored the mental and the physical looking for that one thing I was missing. The truth is, it's not the weight loss puzzle I need to solve; I need to improve my character.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I have no character. What I'm saying is that one part of my character, the part about keeping commitments, is very weak. I have a hard time staying committed to anything for too long. I may have been with the same company for 10 years now, but in that time I've worked at 3 different facilities. I don't stay committed to any one location for too long. The same goes true for personal development, I make a commitment, but can rarely stick to it for any meaningful period of time.

I say my ability to keep commitments is weak but I know it's not non-existent. For starters, I've been married for 17 years so I know it's possible for me to make long term commitments. It's just something I need to work on.

I don't like admitting that I lack character, but it's something I need to do if I'm ever going to improve. 141 Days down; on to Day 142.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Purplechalk]

Day #140 - Seeing the Impact

2015-05-24T20:52:00.001-04:00

Today I got a lot of work done in the bathroom. The tiles are all cut out and ready to go n the floor. I wish I could say I did well with eating but that wouldn't be true.

Though my mood is much improved and I generally feel better, for some reason I'm still struggling with weight loss. Today I was thinking a lot of my struggles has to do with not being able to see the impact from my eating...

If I decided to quit my job today, it wouldn't take long before I would run out of money. If I didn't find a new way to make money very quickly I would likely lose my house and my family would suffer. In this case it's very easy to see the impact of my decision to quit my job.

However, when it comes to not eating healthy, the impact isn't so easy to see. Does that candy bar after lunch cause me to have a heart attack 3 years from now? Does the extra helping of mashed potatoes keep me from living a quality life?

I think that's a big part of the problem; each individual choice on it's own doesn't have a significant impact, but all the bad choices together can be significant and possibly life threatening. It's hard for me to frame it this way, I tend to look at each action as it's own individual choice with it's own consequence. The truth is it's not the individual actions that hurt, it's a sum of the whole.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / AJC ajcann.wordpress.com By: AJC ajcann.wordpress.com ]

Day #139 - Bathroom Remodel Phase II

2015-05-23T20:08:00.003-04:00

To start, I got on the scale today and weighed the same as last week??? I was a bit surprised, I thought I lost a few pounds, but I did have some salty food on Friday so I might just be retaining some water. I'm not too concerned, I know that I did a pretty good job all week.

It's Memorial weekend here in the US. Since we went to the beach last weekend, I'm using this weekend to start the next phase of my bathroom remodel. Our master bathroom has the shower and toilet in one room and then the vanity is in a "hallway" in our bedroom between the shower room and closet (see the pic). That doorway on the left is the bathroom area I finished two weeks ago and the right doorway is the closet.

Today I started working on this area. I'm ripping out the carpet and vanity and putting in new tile, new vanity and then I'm going to build a wall that separates the vanity area from the master bedroom. That will close off the master bathroom completely from the bedroom.

Today I got the vanity and rug ripped out and put cement board down. Tomorrow I'll lay the tile; it's the same tile I used for the shower walls so it will connect the rooms.

Anyway today was a good day for me, I did well eating and I got a lot of exercise. The weight might not be coming off as fast as I would like, but I like where my head is right now.

Stay Strong!

Day #138 - Keeping My Promise

2015-05-22T21:04:00.000-04:00

It's late and I'm tired, but I promised that I would put something out here every night. Sorry but this all I got tonight. Tomorrow is weigh-in day. Stay Strong!

Day #137 - Keeping Committments

2015-05-21T20:24:00.001-04:00

My daughter is trying out for travel league soccer. This is a big deal to her; it's the first time she's had to take a risk of being rejected. It's a big deal for us too, it costs $1500 and is a 10 month commitment including weekly practices (two), strength training, and Parisi (Speed training). Youth sports has changed a lot since I played! Anyway, my daughter has been very nervous about it even though we've told her all that matters is that she does her best. Because of her jitters, I made a commitment to her that I would be there for all the tryout sessions even though it means I have to leave work early.

Today was session #2 and wouldn't you know it, we had a major issue at work that required my attention and was going to run well into the evening. After seeing my daughter in session #1 I wasn't all that concerned as she picked up some confidence, so I considered calling home to see if it would be OK that I didn't make it. Then as I though about it, I decided "No, I made a commitment and I'm going to keep it".

I told my boss that I was going to have to leave for a little while but that I would be willing to come back. He wasn't thrilled, but he agreed to cover for me and in the end I didn't have to go back because the issue got resolved without me.

On my way to soccer I started to think about just how easy it was to keep this commitment to my daughter, and I wondered why it's so hard for me to keep commitments to myself. What's the difference? A commitment is a commitment right?

I guess part of the answer has to do with it being OK to disappoint yourself but not OK to disappoint others. No, that doesn't seem right. Maybe it's because you're the only one who knows about the commitment so it's OK. No that doesn't seem right either.

I think the problem is this... Maybe when we make a commitment to ourselves, we really don't consider it a real commitment. Might sound crazy, but for me, at least, I think that's my problem. To me personal commitments don't feel like real commitments that I make to others.

So I guess I need to start thinking about those commitments as real; maybe then I can do a better job keeping my commitments to myself and not ending up disappointed.

Stay Strong!

Day #136 - Do We Really Help Each Other?

2015-05-20T20:05:00.001-04:00

There are times when I read other blogs and get inspired about things. I love to see different points of view as it helps me to expand my own knowledge and sometimes helps break through my perceptions. However, there are also times when I read other blogs and I just shake my head. Some are full of excuses, others have rationales as to why things aren't going well.

So what do I do when I read someone making excuses or I think they are being full of it? Usually, I roll my eyes and then move on. Sometimes I offer some encouragement, but very rarely do I call that person out. I used to, but then I started to see just how defensive people get.

Now I'm not claiming to be perfect and I can make excuses like the best of them. However, if you go through all my blog post comments, you will rarely find one that calls me out. You'll see a lot of platitudes and you'll see lots of encouragement, but when did we all stop calling a spade a spade? Are we really helping each other by sugar coating the truth?

If you are reading my blog, then please feel free to call me out when you think I'm full of it. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, I'd rather be offended and learn something then have people try to make me feel better. I'm also going to try to be more honest with my feedback; I apologize in advance if that bothers you, but you know what they say, feedback is a gift. You can choose to accept that gift or you can choose to send it back.

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Another strong day; 2 mile walk, stuck to food plan, but only half my water. I'm actually looking forward to getting on the scale on Saturday. Stay Strong!