Diary of a Law School Mom

What You Need to Know About Being a Law School Mom

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 20:41:00 +0000

Many of you are finalizing your law school application packets in anticipation of fall admission and you have lots of questions. There is a lot of advice out there for prospective law school students -- from getting into the right school to landing that plum summer internship -- but law school moms have other concerns too, like juggling family and law school without going crazy. My "Notes From the Trenches" series has some great advice on balancing pregnancy and law school, paying for law school while paying for childcare, and even a sneak peek into the daily life of a law school mom. As for maintaining your sanity, well, I'm still working on that one myself.

Notes from the Trenches: Finding My Groove

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 18:30:00 +0000

This is a guest post from Rebecca, a newly minted law school mom of two.

I'm officially a law school mom! Here's what I've learned in half a semester:

(1) The legal profession is, as far as I can tell so far, a good fit for me. There's a lot of research and writing, an insistence on nit-picky attention to detail, and no shortage of ethical conundrums. Compared to failed craft projects and poopy diapers, I'm loving it.

(2) The work isn't overwhelming. I was in a doctoral program after I graduated from college, and there simply weren't enough hours in the day to finish all the reading we had then. It was objectively impossible. The reading I'm assigned now is about half that, so I find it manageable. I would say I work about 50 hours a week. A little more demanding than a full-time job, and maybe about the same as the average legal job?

(3) The professors all manage the class discussions in a different way. My Civ Pro prof is extremely organized and methodical, which I think is probably a good approach for Civ Pro. When she calls on you, she basically wants your answers to be read directly from the case. She'll often tell you exactly where on the page she wants you to find the answer. On the other hand, my Torts prof likes to ask us more analytical questions, the answers to which you can't find in the book. He's always telling us to "look up and just think." And my Property prof... well. He believes that he and his colleagues are in the business of training all of us to run the world, and that if all the non-lawyers out there would just butt out, we'd have as close to a utopia as humans can realistically get. He seems to view the class as an opportunity to perform, so he really doesn't ask many questions at all. And neither does anyone else.

(4) The parents club at my school is quite small. We don't have a night or part-time program, so there aren't as many older students as one might find elsewhere. I know of only four other students who have any children, and when I tell people I have two, it blows their minds. I'm only 28 and not used to feeling old, but I've spent the last several weeks surrounded by younger, attractive, single people, so you could definitely say my self-image has changed recently.

(5) #4 means the atmosphere is a little college-y. There are a lot of happy hours, drinking socials, etc. They even have formals. I'm definitely not criticizing; 6 years ago, I would have gone out any night of the week, too. But obviously, I can't really be part of that social scene now, and I'm finding I don't really want to be. In many ways, it's a relief to stay out of the social drama that ensues when you throw together a couple of hundred young, attractive, single people who feel like they have to prove to each other how smart they are. That sounds a little snarky, but I don't mean it that way. They are all smart, and they're just trying to find their social footing in a new place. But I'm finding different ways to connect with people, and in the meantime I can really focus on making good use of the time I pay other people to watch my kids.

So things are going ok. But our profs are starting to talk exams. Like I said, everyone is smart and every class has a mandatory curve. I might not be feeling quite so competent in January.

Notes From the Trenches: Paying Tuition & Childcare or How to Spend All Your Money

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 17:30:00 +0000

This is a guest post from Rebecca, a mom of two who will start law school this fall.

Enrolling in law school can be a controversial choice. I expected to receive at least some blowback, especially since I will be selfishly abandoning my children to advance a career. Here's my beloved grandmother on the subject:

Your children, so dependent on you now, may hate you in 15 years! This is your most precious time to feel like a real woman. And I know, once you get that law degree you will have a job in which you find even less fulfillment and you will spend your days litigating fights of one kind or another. And you will start at the bottom. You think you are going to make a difference in the world--"help people?"--but think of the difference you will make for generations by raising your children who are right in front of your eyes."

That's just a little taste. My grandma has an ideological objection to the legal profession. But you have to admit it's impressive that she's in her eighties and emails me regularly. But, I was somewhat surprised by the cascade of news articles I found suggesting that graduating law students suddenly were having quite a bit of trouble finding jobs, especially jobs with high enough salaries to pay down the six-figure debts they now owed to their schools.

There was that guy from Boston College who wrote an open letter to the school asking for his money back, articles in the New York Times about how law students get gamed by the system, and the general recognition that schools are currently accepting many more students than the legal market will accommodate. I also discovered the expanding community of blogs -- with names like LawSchoolScam and But I Did Everything Right! -- devoted to warning "0Ls" (really?) to run, not walk, away from law school.

In the face of such negativity, I was forced to ask myself (and my lawyer friends) why none of it would apply to me. A friend of my husband's had some very encouraging (enabling) advice: "Here's the thing about the 'not enough jobs for lawyers' argument. It actually is 'there's not enough jobs for incompetent lawyers.' You're going to be a competent one, I'm sure. In general, my lawyer friends with jobs think it's a good idea for me to go to law school. The ones who were disappointed with law school or don't have jobs have been, well, less positive.

My husband and I decided that I would only go to law school if we didn't have to take on any debt for me to do it. That seemed doable. I knew I'd be charged the reduced tuition for in-state residents. I crossed my fingers for a big scholarship, and I got one. Strangely, in the award letter there was no mention of the conditions for keeping my scholarship. Watch, I'll call the Office of Student Affairs and be told I must maintain a GPA of 3.8.

The real cost of law school for me (us), though, are childcare costs of ~$1400/month for my two kids, ages 3 and 21 months. I've had complete control over my kids' environment since my daughter was born, so it's kind of a big deal to me to give that up. I suppose that's why we're taking on a monthly payment that exceeds our mortgage to send our toddlers to an "academy."

So I hope I can keep that scholarship. But just recently, another mom who graduated from the school I'll be attending told me, "you won't be in the top ten percent, you know, because you have kids." Maybe they should have put that in my award letter? "Parents: don't bother."

Notes From the Trenches: A Day in the Life of a Law School Mom

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 22:10:00 +0000

This is a guest post from Leigh, a second-year law school mom.

Juggling law school with kids is tough. My husband and I have our schedules so precisely worked out that even a wedding planner would cringe. Law school is demanding of your time. Children are demanding of your time. There is a competition for attention that takes place between the two, and you need to figure out a realistic balance.

My husband works fulltime and I am in school fulltime, so our daughter is in daycare during the week. My husband has also been kind enough to take on full parenting responsibilities over most of the weekend. I do almost, if not all, of the following week’s reading then. You need a good chunk of uninterrupted time to read for your classes, as the amount of concentration required is insane.

I also outline throughout the semester instead of at the end of it, and I start working on research papers much, much earlier than their due dates. We do have a wonderful sitter who watches our daughter if I need extra study time during the week, which is incredibly helpful.

So, what’s a day like? Here’s a fun-filled sample schedule.

6:30: Wake-up, sort of. Get crying child from crib and change her. Attempt to force my eyelids open and stumble downstairs to make breakfast. Child gets real food for breakfast. We get coffee. Eyelids actually open post-coffee consumption.

7:00: Husband takes messy post-breakfast toddler upstairs for bath. I prep food for daycare and husband’s lunch. Whirlwind of getting ready follows.

8:00: Hopefully have left the house by now and am dropping daughter off at day care. Drive back home and get bag ready for school if I didn’t clean up my study mess from the night before (high probability).

8:30: Leave house and walk to law school. Listen to iPod on the way – is this a form of “me” time? Oh wait… day care is calling to inform me of a disturbing bowel movement my child just had. Thanks, daycare.

9:00: Usually have classes starting around now. If not, go to library and work on outlines. Realize I have grabbed container of toddler puff snacks instead of adult food snacks. Eat them anyway.

12:30: Lunch break. Walk back home, let dogs outside, and eat lunch. Then head back to school for any afternoon classes. If I don’t have afternoon classes that day, research for any papers I have due that semester. Fantasize about taking daytime naps.

4:00: Have to leave school by this point. Walk back home and get car, drive to pick daughter up. Hope dogs don’t hear me leaving in the car and start howling.

4:30: Afternoon playtime with daughter. This includes, but is not limited to, puzzles, cuddles, chasing daughter who is chasing dogs, coloring, cleaning up coloring on walls/floors, occasional stroller jogging.

6:30: Husband home. Make dinner for everyone. Attempt to clean up house and throw in a load of laundry. Bicker over who is less tired and has to take dogs on walk/run. Threaten an extra household cleanup duty for whoever does not take dogs out. Cave in and take dogs, cross fingers that laundry is switched when I get back.

8:00: Get daughter ready for bed. Ultimate bedtime resistance kicks in with daughter. Bedtime success after 30-minute refusal to lie down. Notice new chip in wall from child banging crib rail against wall during ultimate bedtime resistance.

8:45: Bring out casebooks for next day classes. Although I have usually read all of that week’s reading over the weekend, still need to refresh on reading. Contemplate falling asleep on couch instead.

10:00: Have actually fallen asleep on couch. Curse self. Continue reading where I left off, and then promptly fall asleep again. Couch is so comfortable.

Unknown hour: Leave couch, drag self up to bed. Later on awake with highlighter mark on face and post-it tab stuck to hand. Also notice piece of daughter’s macaroni and cheese dinner matted in hair. Lovely.

Notes From the Trenches: Pregnant in Law School, The Rest of the Story

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 17:30:00 +0000

This is a guest post from Leigh, a second-year law school mom.

My second trimester progressed relatively smoothly. Sure, I may have started to outgrow my regular pants and I may have been regularly eating eat bizarre foods (cream cheese and green olive sandwiches, anyone?), but no major issues with my pregnancy arose. However, this was the point when I began to tell classmates that I was expecting and I first spoke with my school about how they handled pregnant law students in the past. This brings me to two more essential points.

You need to have thick skin. Ladies, you need to understand that people may say things about your pregnancy – particularly its timing – that you find offensive. I certainly received some off-hand comments and shameful looks I would prefer not to relive. Trust me, the raised eyebrows and awkward comments will continue well after your child is born, especially when someone finds out you actually had your child during law school. Be prepared, and let the comments roll off your shoulders.

In addition to thick skin, you need to speak with your school. Find out how they have dealt with pregnant students in the past. Check on their policy for pregnancy-related absences. If you plan to nurse, see if your school is willing to set up a private space for you to do so. Ask if your school can connect you with any other law student moms or those who recently went through a pregnancy while in school. You get the idea.

And then came the third trimester. Oh joy. At this point, my pants really didn’t fit – despite my desperate attempts to unbutton and hold them up with belly bands – and I had officially adopted the pregnant waddle as my signature swagger. I couldn’t sit in a chair for more than 10 minutes without my back screaming at me to get up and walk around. My legs were so swollen and bloated that an indentation mark would appear if you pressed on them. While I was worried about getting through the rest of the semester without going in to a coma due to sheer exhaustion, something else happened that had never even crossed our minds. My daughter decided to make her entrance at the beginning of April – nearly two months before my due date and only a few weeks before finals. This brings me to my last two points.

You need to know that you can’t plan how your pregnancy will go. While premature births aren’t exactly commonplace, the point is that you can’t plan what your pregnancy will be like. You can’t plan to forgo awful morning sickness, avoid being put on bed rest, or prevent your feet from getting so swollen you can’t wear your shoes anymore. And, I know this is hard, but you can’t plan if there will be any serious pregnancy complications with the bun in your oven.

Finally, you need all types of support from all types of people. This is the most important point. My husband was there every step of the way with emotional and physical support, especially when our daughter was born prematurely. What made this particularly crucial is that we have no immediate family near us. While emotional support from families is wonderful, you also need support with day-to-day things... and with law school things. I had amazing law school friends who shared notes, helped co-ordinate class recordings, and were incredibly supportive throughout my pregnancy and while we went through our daughter’s prematurity complications. Without this support system, I would have certainly floundered.

People often ask if I’m glad we had a child during law school, or if I feel we should have waited. I truly think that if we had waited to have children, we would have kept on waiting to have children. By that I mean we likely wouldn’t have gone down the road to parenthood until much later in our lives. And while I believe this the right choice for many couples, I don’t think it would have been the right choice for us. Looking back at what my pregnancy experience was like, I now feel that I would have rather been pregnant and had those difficulties during school versus during my first few years in my law career. Other moms may tell you differently, and I can only comment on my experience. But I can tell you that I am completely happy with my life as a law school mom.

I am also often asked if I feel I should have waited until my 2L or 3L year to have a child. I will tell you that waiting until you are finished with your 1L year is certainly advisable. 1L year, and the grades that go along with it, are so incredibly important. There’s a steep learning curve and a substantial amount of lawyering development that go along with your first year in law school. However, we found ourselves in a situation where I was pregnant and we weren’t sure if I should postpone law school until the birth of our daughter. For me, being in law school with a young child has been on the same par of difficulty as being in law school while pregnant. Again, every pregnancy and parenthood experience is different, so other women may depart from that thought.

While it was difficult to be pregnant during my 1L year, I would not have postponed my law school start date. Yes, pregnancy during law school has its difficulties. But it is not impossible and I’m a firm believer that you can make anything work if it’s something you truly want. In the end, what matters is what path you want to go down. To those of you about to embark on this adventure: congratulations, and have faith when I say you’ll be just fine.

Notes From the Trenches: Pregnant in Law School

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 19:20:00 +0000

This is the first in a series of guest posts from Leigh, a second-year law school mom.

I’d like to briefly introduce myself before delving into my experience as a law school mom. I attend law school full-time and just finished my second year. I also have a 14-month-old daughter and a wonderful husband. I was pregnant with my daughter during my first year of law school. For those of you doing the math, you have probably figured out that I was pregnant throughout my entire first year of law school. When my husband and I found out that I was pregnant, we decided to forge ahead. I would stay in law school, he would stay at his job, and we would make it all work.

Of course, our dreams of how easy pregnancy would be were sorely misplaced. Going through pregnancy is quite often a bumpy road. And let me tell you, pregnancy during law school is by no means easy sailing. The end result, though, is a reward so great it’s indescribable. I love motherhood, and I love being a law school mom.

That said, most of you probably want to know what it’s actually like to be pregnant during law school and what to expect. Can you do it? Absolutely. Are there some things you need to be aware of and realistic about? Absolutely. Let me share my story and tell you a few things I believe are essential to surviving law school while pregnant.

During my first trimester, I managed to escape any and all forms of morning sickness. While I believe other moms may hate me for the lack of actual sickness, I did suffer from extreme exhaustion. I wanted – and needed – to be crafting my ability to brief a case successfully. Instead, I found myself falling asleep while highlighting and struggling to keep up with reading assignments. Which brings me to my first point…

You need to understand that your grade point average may take a hit. I will be blunt with you: my grades would have been better had I not been pregnant my first year of law school. Even if you don’t have any type of pregnancy complications, there are other normal pregnancy “side effects” that are likely to take a toll on your studying ability. Exhaustion and irritability go hand in hand with law school. Add in pregnancy and you get a bubbling cauldron of emotions and potential difficulty in dedicating yourself to law school studies.

Wanted: Guest Bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:17:00 +0000

I've been out of the law school game for a while and my stories about juggling law school with parenthood are stale. I want fresh content from you, the law student parents who are still in the trenches. Yes, this blog is called Diary of a Law School Mom, but I've got nothing against dads. If you're interested in being a guest blogger, email me and we'll work it out.

Breaking My Silence

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 30 May 2011 18:49:00 +0000

I can't believe it's been nearly two years since I've written here. A lot has changed. I passed the bar exam. My children are older, crankier, and more demanding. I have a teen who is anxious to get her learner's permit; 68% of the crankiness comes from her. And my little boy, born during 2L, is six-years-old. Watching him grow is amazing. I am in awe of his boyness, an energy so unfamiliar to this mom of girls.

There is much more to tell you, but I need to review what I've written to determine where to start. I liken blogging to riding a bike. Now that I've pulled it out of winter storage, it needs a tune-up before I can take off. Soon, I'll be coasting. Or crashing. Either way, I'm getting back on the damn bike. More to come.

Auto: Pilot, Erotic, - Mated

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:55:00 +0000

Hey there. It's me - your friendly law school blogger. I know, it's been awhile. It is a funny thing: Now that I have more free time to blog, blogging has lost some of its appeal. I've been thinking: "do people really care what milestones my kid achieved or what color I painted my kitchen?" Even my closest friends are not interested in the minutiae of my life; they want the edited the version, the horn book, if you will.

Recently, I accused a friend of being an observer in her own life. My friend takes her camera everywhere she goes to capture every single moment of her children's lives. It's worrisome, this unchecked camera wielding but, admittedly, very handy as I have been the recipient of several excellent photographs of my own children. Still, I think it's odd that my friend would rather observe her life than live it.

Blogging feels a bit like that sometimes. Happily, I have broken the habit of Blog Post thinking. I don't compose blog posts in my head while hanging out with friends nor do I seek ways to create a blog post from the ordinary. I don't want to bore you, reader. I want to write interesting posts and not merely recite what has occurred in my life. I don't know if I can or whether this is the right forum for it. Some rebranding may be in order.

I do still Twitter. I spend more time there than here. Twitter is a faster conduit than blogging. People will tweet something before they have a cogent blog post to accompany it. I am an avid tweeter but only because it's easier than blogging. It's like choosing to masturbate instead of having intercourse with your partner. Masturbation is quick and easy. No foreplay required. Intercourse requires more energy, attention to the other persons needs, and it takes a much larger chunk of time.

Eventually, I will be ready to resume intercourse. Look! I have made a first step towards you, reader. It's only a matter of time until I resume posting three or even four (!) times a week. Hopefully, it will be meaningful stuff. Naturally, I will continue twittering as it pleases me but I am talented. I can multitask.

Stuff I'm Doing Instead of Studying for the Bar Exam

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:44:00 +0000

Playing mini-golf with my children

Taking long bike rides

Discovering new hiking trails

Exploring local museums

Reading interesting books

Reconnecting with old friends

Sleeping in*

*For me, sleeping in is waking up at 7:30am instead of at 5:30am.

The Bar Exam

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 23:37:00 +0000

These days, the most frequently asked question I get asked is: When is the bar exam? People just assume I am taking it in July. Most of the time I don't correct them because I don't want to spend the next ten minutes explaining why I'm not taking the exam. It's far easier to answer "July" and let them think what they like. But I will tell you: I am not taking the bar exam in July.

I am not taking it for several reasons. First, I don't have a job so there is no pressure for me to be admitted to the bar by a certain time. Second, it's summer. My kids are out of school right now and it would be impossible to study with even one of them home let alone all three. Third, I just don't want to take it right now. I need a mental break from the minutia of the law after which I can return with a refreshed and with a renewed sense of purpose.

Summer is for spending long afternoons at the pool, lounging on the patio, impromptu visits with friends, and sipping sangria while watching the sun set. Summer is not the time to be cooped up inside a classroom learning black letter law and practicing poorly worded multiple-choice questions. Last Saturday, several of my former classmates willingly sacrificed four hours of their lives to take a mock bar exam. I'm sure I can imagine worst ways to spend a Saturday, but taking a mock bar exam would rank pretty high on my list.

Because there are so many factors, the February exam just works better for me. I can dive right into bar prep when the kids go back to school in January. The weather will (most likely) be dreary, I will have fewer distractions, I can dedicate at least six solid hours per day to prepping for the exam, and I will have a better frame of mind. The break will do me good. In the meantime, I'm enjoying summer with my family and friends. I hope you are too!

The Highway

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:29:00 +0000

Remember that perfect, wonderful, family friendly job I had? Yes? Well, it's disappeared *poof* into thin air. I am simply another unemployed law school graduate. I've gone through the phases of grief and I accept it. I'm no longer angry, but for awhile there I was mad as hell.

See, my former employer who also happened to be a close friend, could have told me about his micromanaging tendencies. He could have told me I would be required to consult him before completing any tasks - even very minor ones. He could have warned me that my failure to do so - and to question the necessity of doing so - would have drastic consequences. If he had been completely above board with me, then I would have been honest with him: "I cannot work with you." So many problems could have been avoided. Instead, I was misled into believing I could be autonomous and own my projects - something I have always done quite well in the working world.

My friend thinks we mutually decided to end my employment. In reality, I was biding my time. I had planned to learn as much as I could from him over the summer but find a different position come fall. Ask my husband. He will tell you that I complained almost constantly about my friend's micromanagement style, about his inability to delegate, and about his general lack of emotional intelligence in the workplace. I was miserable the whole time and I did not hide it well. I felt pushed and I pushed back. Hard.

The job promised me has been rescinded. I don't care. I didn't want it anyway once I began working with him. The friendship is in shambles, though there is the hollow, farewell promise to "keep in touch." We will probably never speak again.

I replay our last conversation in my mind thinking of things I should have said, things I should have told him that would help him be a better manager but is it of no use. I didn't say them. He wouldn't have listened anyway. That is the micromanaging style. Their way is always the best way. You know the old adage, "It's my way or the highway." Well, I choose the highway.

Morsels

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:17:00 +0000

One day I will get around to writing a well thought out blog post - but not today. It's too nice outside and I have too many good books in my library bag to piece together a coherent post. But, I should tell you, there have been some speed bumps in my life. A sampling: I am unemployed and I am not taking the bar exam this summer.

No, I don't feel like a loser. Oddly, I feel liberated - a little cast about - but still firmly in control of my destiny. More information about my future plans will come later. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a beautiful, Colorado day to enjoy, I need to find a recipe for watermelon soup, and I have a sangria to make.

California Dreaming

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:25:00 +0000

I had high hopes that my post-bar exam trip would be abroad. Well, our budget screamed in outrage until I gave in and planned something cheaper. So, instead, we will head to California's Central Coast for five days.

It's not Germany but I am still excited! I have only been to California once. I went to Los Angeles on business when I was seven months pregnant with Olie. All I remember about LA is how spread out the city seemed and that I loathed my boss who was also my travel companion. My time there was so unpleasant that I never seriously thought about vacationing in California.

But, when my best friend from high school generously offered Madhubby and I her home - which happens to be just across Highway 1 and minutes from the ocean - I couldn't say no. Seriously, I can hear waves crashing on the beach if she's on her deck while we are talking on the phone.

Already, I am predicting a huge improvement over my last trip to California. This time, I can just lay on the beach all day and not worry two bits about how crowded the 405 is or wonder which crappy restaurant my boss will choose for dinner each night.

So far, our big plans are to get all touristy in San Francisco (we've never been there), enjoy a baseball game at Pacific Bell Park, visit Hearst Castle, hike Big Sur, explore a vineyard or two, and play on the beach. Anything else that should be on our list? I am all ears, cursor, and blank space over here.

Settling Up: The Cost of a Law Degree

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 19 May 2009 22:17:00 +0000

I took out over $130,000 in student loans to pay for law school. Add in my undergraduate student loans and my total student loan bill is a little bit north of $180,000. That is a lot of educational debt.

Some finance books say educational debt is "good debt" because it is an investment. I call bullshit. Debt is debt and it does not matter whether it was incurred in pursuit of collecting every Betsy Johnson handbag or in pursuit of higher education. No, I cannot rationally justify $180,000 worth of student loans but bemoaning my financial situation does little good. I must get to the real task at hand: repaying this monstrous debt. Thankfully, I think I did a few things right.

First, I consolidated approximately $140,000 of my student loan debt at a low, fixed rate of 5.25%. The payment on my consolidated loans is $752. The payment for my other $40,000 in student loans is $633. I know it seems odd that the lesser loan amount has a payment nearly equal to the higher loan amount. However, one of my loans is amortized over three years instead of twenty-five years like my other loans. Thus, the payment on that one, short amortized loan is $375 per month.

Second, I did not take any private loans. I maxed out my federal loans, begged my school for more grant money, and paid the rest out of pocket. I have heard horror stories about private lenders and I knew I did not want to borrow from them if it could be helped. Luckily, I was able to meet (almost) all my expenses. I do have a small tuition balance right now but I can afford to pay it because all my loans are in deferment until at least January. By then, I should be well settled into my job.

Lastly, we have kept our household expenses very low. We own one car that will be completely paid for in two months. We own a modest house on which the mortgage is $1100 per month. We have no credit card debt. We buy secondhand whenever possible and generally try to spend very little on things we have identified as "needs" rather than "wants." It's dull. Date night is usually a rental from the local Redbox and some microwave popcorn. But the upside is that my student loan debt does not worry me as much as I thought it would.

I know we will be okay. I have run the numbers more than once. Yes, $1385 in student loan payments is mind boggling but I am fortunate. I have a degree and a job that allows me to comfortably repay my student loans and all my other household expenses even if my spouse were to lose his job. I know I am lucky. Now I need to work on being grateful - for law school, for the Juris Doctorate, and for all the financial hurdles it can help me overcome.

Anniversary Failure

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:39:00 +0000

Today is my ninth wedding anniversary. Our original plan for a romantic day: catch an early movie, lunch at The Med, and enjoy a nooner before grabbing the kids from school.

What really happened: spend two hours at the Subaru dealership getting our wonky car aligned, sweat at the gym for another hour while watching Law & Order, rush home to shower, rush to get the kids from school, stop at Nordstrom on the way home and buy two pairs of shoes for Olie, scarf down hot dogs for dinner, and prepare a math practice exam for Lizzie.

We are holding out hope that we can slip away to an early movie but right now: It's not looking good. Our kids are throwing bingo chips at each other and engaged in a tearful screaming match about who really won the Dora Bingo showdown. Damn you reality, the nemesis of hopeful parents everywhere!

The End of the (Law School) Road

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:01:00 +0000

Law school is unofficially over for me. I write "unofficially" because there is a chance I could fail a class and be stuck taking a lousy summer class. I don't believe that will happen but fate has a funny way of kicking me in the ass.

Commencement happened this past weekend and it was a little bit of crazy mixed with a whole lot of perspiration. Man, those robes are hot! Combine that with an hour of standing in the procession line and a lot of people - men and women - were wishing they had gone commando under that darn thing. The only interesting thing about the robe was the hood, but once I was hooded the robe looked like the biggest, most obnoxious hoodie ever known to man.

Later, the law school held a reception and they had the gall to serve some busted down mini quiches that you can get from any Target or Costco. For a $130,000 I expected better food than boxed quiches and some kool-aid punch. Seriously, I may have to donate to the law school just so future graduates can have something better than warehouse food.

The party at my house was jumping though. We served our guests baby back ribs, hot dogs, and hamburgers with all the fixings and generous sides. We lit the fire bowl, played volleyball, and had a very nice good time with friends and family.

On Sunday, the realization that I am finally done* with law school hit me and I took a three hour nap to celebrate. It was the best sleep I've had in years. To all of you still in law school, especially the parents out there, keep going. The nap at the end is SO worth it!

*Again, unofficially done with law school

The Birds & The Bees Goes 21st Century

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:22:00 +0000

The following conversation took place via text message:

Me: Do you know what a blow job is?

Lizzie: No. What is it?

Me: Well...it's when a girl kisses a boy's penis*

Lizzie: That sounds like oral sex.

Me: What do you know about oral sex?

Lizzie: Only that it involves mouth to penis interaction.

Me: It also involves mouth to vagina interaction. And you can get STDs from it.

Lizzie: Ew! Like AIDS or Scabies?

Me: Yes, like AIDS. Also, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and Herpes.

Lizzie: I cannot imagine anyone at my school doing it.

Me: Well...some kids are doing it. And some boys might ask you or your friends to do it so now you know what it is.

Lizzie: Gross! I'm not doing that. I don't want scabies.

*Madhubby thinks I should have gone into more detail here but I think saying "kissing" was good enough to give her a visual.

Dragging My Ass to the Finish Line

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Sat, 09 May 2009 13:04:00 +0000

I have one last final exam on Monday before I am d-o-n-e with law school. I am so tired right now. I have those crazy, wavy circles in my field of vision and they are not helping my studying at all.

To top it off, I feel a major cold coming on too. It's totally normal for me to get sick following a high stress period. My body just says "Fuck it, we cannot sustain this pace any longer and we are shutting down your immune system RIGHT NOW." And then I feel like crap for the next two weeks or so. It sucks, but I know the sickness is coming so I'm downing Vitamin C lozenges in preparation.

I also know that in two days this crazy journey will be over and, even if I develop Swine Flu, I will not care because it will be clear sailing to commencement. W00t!

Send Vodka

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 05 May 2009 11:05:00 +0000

I have an exam on Wednesday and one on Thursday. I am not worried about the exam on Wednesday, but Thursday's exam will be bat shit crazy. That class was sixteen weeks of bar prep and the final exam is a mini bar exam. Performance Tests, essays, and multiple choice on five subjects. Closed book. I can't stop that train from coming down the track but I can drink a finger (or two) of vodka before the exam.*

*The effects of alcohol on test performance are speculative. The ability of alcohol to calm my nerves and give me false confidence is a proven fact.

Haiku #12

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 21:17:00 +0000

Four twenty-seven
Four inches of fluffy snow
Where is my spring sun?

Black & Gold

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 11:42:00 +0000

Living in a college town has its perks. Over the weekend, we attended the CU Spring Game with some friends. The day was overcast and chilly. It was raining by the time the game began but we had a great time because our friends had suite seats.

Balch Fieldhouse was packed with fans and CU athletes. Olie was psyched to meet some of the female athletes like the soccer goalie from the CU team and some of the women basketball players. We even chatted with K-Mac and her son for a bit. Olie and her little girlfriend got autographs from the football players and we got lots of schwag* like metal water bottles, CU caps, and footballs. We all got into it when the band came through the field house playing the CU Fight Song (which I still do not know).

The family had a great time even though it was the "game" was little more than a scrimmage between the offense and the defense. We spent most of the game inside the suite where it was dry and warm, noshing on food, watching the Nuggets-Hornets game on one of the numerous television sets, all the while keeping an eye on the football game.

It was a fun outing that has us excited for the upcoming football season. Sure, the home team hasn't done well in past years but we will still go to pep rallies down on Pearl. And, of course, we will always tease Colorado State, Wyoming, and Nebraska fans even during times when they have more reason to brag than we do.

*The promise of free stuff is usually all that is necessary to lure me to an event.

The Sweetest Bear in the World

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 13:24:00 +0000

Bubba's stage debut was so adorable! Madhubby and I have watched the video at least six times since Friday. I would love to share it here but I respect the privacy of the other parents and their children. But Bubba did great and he used his deep, booming Papa Bear voice just like we rehearsed!

Fairy Tales

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 23:26:00 +0000

My preschooler is in his first school play tomorrow. For the past week, I have asked him about his lines, what they are and whether he knows them. Whenever I ask him about his lines, he leans in close to me and whispers in my ear, "It's a secret." But see, when he said "secret," he really meant "The script came home two weeks ago and you stuck it into my cubby without another thought. I don't know my lines because you haven't told them to me yet. You are failing at this mothering thing."

The play is tomorrow. I rehearsed his lines with him today at lunch. Fortunately, the play is a common fairy tale and I can tell his teachers have been working with him on his lines. He recited all four of them like a champ. He's all set. We will go over them some more this evening just to make sure he has them committed to memory then I can relax and look forward to the overload of cuteness on tap for tomorrow.

Sex in the Parent Hood

noreply@blogger.com (LawSchoolMom) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:35:00 +0000

Exchange steamy text and instant messages with your husband during the work day. Ratchet up the naughty factor by sending him picture mail of his favorite body part of yours.

Do not lend your cellphone to your tween daughter because when she types "p," your phone will give her options that will require a long, awkward explanation ending with "you'll understand when you're married."

Invite your guy to the gym to engage his competitive spirit.

Resist the urge to have sex in the family cabanas.

At home, ask him to wash your back during your shower. He will stick around unless you kick him out of the bathroom.

Lock the bathroom door to avoid interruption from small children looking for a Lego building buddy

Flirt with him while making dinner. Play footsies under the table.

Be careful not to kick the children.

Put the kids to bed early and race each other to the bedroom for some old-fashioned quality time. Don't forget to lock the door!