Diary of a Mormon Girl

Youth Theme 2014: Come Unto Christ and Be Perfected in Him

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Tue, 28 Jan 2014 19:07:00 +0000

Credit: A Pocket Full of LDS Prints: Click here to visit her amazing blog and download this print

"Spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 23:04:00 +0000

"Spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing."-Elder David A. Bednar

"Above all, never lose faith in your FATHER IN HEAVEN..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 22:50:00 +0000

Above all, never lose faith in your FATHER IN HEAVEN, who loves you more than you can comprehend." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many things right."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 19:15:00 +0000

"While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many things right." -Thomas S. Monson

Forgiveness is NOT...

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 05:44:00 +0000

After the side effects of abuse and abandonment I learned that I needed professional counseling to teach me how to cope and deal with what had happened to me growing up. Although I stayed close to my savior, I still struggled with problems like not fully trusting others, not forgiving, but mostly I needed to stop blaming "men" for all the tragedy in the world. I even found myself starting to become very judgemental of my husband and created expectation of him that he couldn't live up to. My perception was a little skewed and it needed fixing. I have been to many professional counselors, but the one who had the most impact on me was a Doctor who specialized in Family Relations who was also an LDS Bishop. He taught me many things like understanding what forgiveness really is. He wanted me to take notes and write exactly what he said because it was important. Here's what he said...

FORGIVENESS IS NOT:

Forgiveness is NOT forgetting
Forgiveness is NOT excusing bad behavior
Forgiveness is NOT trusting.
Forgiveness is NOT having a relationship

I learned that I can fully forgive my Father and others who have hurt me, but I do NOT need to forget about it. I do NOT excuse bad behavior and I will NOT trust him again. But most importantly I do NOT need to have a relationship with him. I have learned that it's okay to walk away especially if it involves abuse. I found peace in knowing that I have overcome this and so can you. You might think it's impossible at first, but try to take it day by day and I promise it will get better and easier.

Some of my favorite quotes on forgiveness are:

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." -Unknown

"You may be carrying a heavy burden of feeling injured by another who has seriously offended you. Your response to that offense may have distorted your understanding so that you feel justified in waiting for that individual to ask forgiveness so that the pain can leave. The Savior dispelled any such thought when He commanded: …‘I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men’ [D&C 64:10].”

-Richard G. Scott

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"The Past is Behind, Learn From it"

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 05:32:00 +0000

"The past is behind, learn from it." -Thomas S. Monson

xoxo -Mormon Girl

How I Survived Abuse

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Sat, 01 Jun 2013 09:47:00 +0000

It has been said by many that the truth can set you free. I feel like my whole life I've been "protecting" the truth from being revealed, until now. First of all, I would like to say that I am an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I love the gospel and the direction it has given to me my entire life. I have a beautiful life, and I am truly blessed. I've been given another chance as an adult to see how beautiful life can be. Through my obedience and my relationship with my Heavenly Father I have been healed from abuse and neglect.

I grew up in a home with many siblings out in the country. At a young age, I remember feeling scared and anxious about life and my family. I remember my father always being gone and when he was home I stayed clear of him. I remember not liking the noise and messes everywhere so I would often find myself escaping outside to build another fort on the 7 acres of land that we lived on. I spent many hours outside with my siblings turning the natural grown bushes into my secret palace with tons of rooms, a kitchen, family room and a front and back door. My favorite was the small pine tree that became our "elevator tree". We would climb to the top and hold on as we were elevated down to the ground.

But sadly, I do remember the abuse from my father. It was like watching a wild animal chasing it's prey. I remember him hitting my older brothers and sisters on many occasions. I remember him holding my oldest sister up against a tree by her neck and hitting her. I remember being hit in the face so hard when I was 5 years old. My face was very swollen and there was blood everywhere. As I lay there on the ground I remember being kicked over and over again by his military boots, and my nose was broken, all because I wouldn't share the big wheel with my older brother. I remember on multiple occasions being drug up the stairs by my hair for reasons I can't remember; I will never forget that pain. I remember the contention that always existed in our home. The rage from my father created a scary place for all of us. My 3 older sisters were removed from the home by CPS (child protective services) because of accusations of abuse against my father, which he denied. My three older sisters said they were sexually abused by my father. I was the next girl, but I have no recollection of sexual abuse by him, only physical and verbal abuse. My sister tells me of a time when he was so angry with my oldest brother that he chased him out of the house with a gun threatening to kill him. I remember him chasing my mother and I out of the house as we were leaving for her graveyard shift as a telephone operator. She tried to roll up the window as quickly as she could, but he managed to get his hands in the crack, he pulled it and shattered her window, then began to hit her. The time that scared me the most was when my father laid on top of my mother strangling her neck until her face was blue. Without hesitation, I yelled with a loud voice "I am calling the police". He immediately jumped off my mother and began to charge toward me. With the phone in my hand he successfully ripped the phone out of the wall, and threw it across the room while screaming vulgar language at me. I feel good in knowing that I did the right thing in that moment. Had I waited 30 more seconds to yell, could have been too late. After that he began to chase me, and I ran fast, faster than him down a dirt road barefoot, but mom was safe and managed to get out of the house safely.

A mother who was once a beautiful surfer girl was now someone who thought very little of herself, she couldn't amount to anything and she was worthless because of what she had been told and came to believe because of my father. But after all the abuse, my mother was still willing to stay with him, but he wanted another woman and left my mother and all of us. After he left, I remember my mother being embarrassed because she had to go on welfare and use food stamps to buy food for her many young children. She couldn't afford a lawyer, so she suffered financially and so did all of us while he played. Extreme poverty raked over our family. Today my mother lives in an old run down home and managed to get nothing from him but he lives the high life owning multiple properties with many luxuries. I have never received any form of financial help from him or even a birthday present for most of life. While he shoves all of this away, he can't see damage he has done. The many beautiful children that were entrusted to him by God have been destroyed because of his rage. I just want justice for my siblings who longer have a voice. I know that if justice is not served in this life, God will serve justice on the other side.

I do not tell you this to make you sad or angry, I tell you this to give you HOPE. Miraculously I lived through this and stayed strong, and I know you can too. Heavenly father is there. His son Jesus Christ atoned for every single person who has ever lived, and will ever live. He atoned not only for our sins, but for our pain, our trials, our weaknesses, our burdens, our fears and the abuse we suffered. He knows what we are going through more than anyone. Although my life hasn't been easy, it has been very rewarding. Unfortunately many of my siblings did not end up with a happy ending. My oldest brother passed away from lung cancer that was caused by drugs and smoking. Another sibling has spent many years battling an addiction to retail theft, and has been incarcerated many times. Another sibling has been in a mental institute with a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia most likely caused by her drug addiction. She was hearing voices and they were telling her to do very bad things. She's been at a correctional facility for over 15 years. I have another sibling who has drank her sorrows away with alcohol and has heavily used drugs her entire life. She has undergone two detox treatments that lasted a month each time, leaving her with a destroyed liver. My three older sisters never married, but they have children. My oldest brother who died was never married and never had any children. The rest of my siblings struggle with addictions and many other problems.

If you are in an abusive relationship you have the power to free yourself. Walk away now! Break the chain and the cycle of abuse. There is never a trial too great that you cannot overcome. One of my favorite quotes says...“Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.”
-Jeffrey R. Holland.

I choose to not reveal my identity at this time to protect my family. I am grateful for a wonderful husband who is kind, and sweet and allows me to grow. But, most importantly, someone who makes me feel safe. Someone who is the complete opposite of my father; I am truly blessed.

Surround Yourself With Greatness

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 19:03:00 +0000

There comes a time when you realize you don't need negative people in your life anymore. Negative people will always try to drag you down to their level of misery and continual gossip. I have dealt with too much pain and betrayal from these type of people that I have learned to shift gears and start surrounding myself with greatness. I can help those in need, but I do not need to be a close friend to that person. Let's stop trying to be heroes to those who don't care about us, and START being heroes to those who absolutely admire and love us, like our spouses, children and close friends.

Trust me, it's so hard to let go of those people, especially if they are family members. I know from experience, that those are the toughest situations to break free from because of the tie that we have from being in a family. Once again, you can still love someone without being in a close relationship with them. You can still help someone without being attached to them. After losing my brother at a young age, I realized that life is too short to be anything but happy and content.

Break away from people who degrade, verbally abuse, physically abuse or continually gossip about you and others.
You are better than that and designed by God to be GREAT.

"Don't Be Discouraged..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:15:00 +0000

“Don’t be discouraged at seemingly overwhelming odds in your desire to live and to help others live God’s commandments. At times it may seem like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember, David did win.” - Elder David B. Haight

xoxo - Mormon Girl

Thomas S. Monson Quote: "Choose your friends with caution..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 18:17:00 +0000

"Choose your friends with caution. Plan your future wit purpose.

And frame your life with faith.
-Thomas S. Monson

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Everything you need to sustain you is provided daily by God's abundant universe. Ask, believe & allow!"

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:16:00 +0000

"Everything you need to sustain you is provided daily by God's abundant universe. Ask, believe & allow!"

xoxo -Mormon Girl

Gordon B. Hinckley Quote: "Don't get discouraged. Things will WORK OUT."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:11:00 +0000

"Don't get discouraged. Things will WORK OUT."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"As we ponder the teachings of the gospel and apply them in daily living.."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:09:00 +0000

"As we ponder the teachings of the gospel and apply them in daily living, we become better prepared to receive additional light and truth.
-Elder M. Russell Ballard

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Tolerance for behavior is like a two sided coin. Tolerance or respect is on one side of the coin, but truth is always on the other."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:43:00 +0000

"Tolerance for behavior is like a two sided coin. Tolerance or respect is on one side of the coin, but truth is always on the other."
-Elder Dallin H. Oaks

xoxo -Mormon Girl

Dieter F. Uchtdorf: Be A Light, Be A Conversational, Be Full of Grace, Be Filled with Faith

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:38:00 +0000

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf tells us:

Disciples of Jesus Christ have always been under the obligation to take His gospel to the world. Nevertheless, sometimes it is difficult to open our mouths and speak about our faith to those around us. While some members of the Church have a natural gift for talking to others about religion, others are a little hesitant or may feel awkward, embarrassed, or even fearful of doing so.

May I suggest four things that anyone can do to follow the commission of the Savior to preach the gospel “unto every creature”

Be a light

Be conversational

Be full of grace

Be filled with faith

xoxo -Mormon Girl

Quotes About Sharing the Gospel from our Prophet and Apostles

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:30:00 +0000

Quotes about sharing the Gospel from our Prophet and Apostles:

"If you will respond to the invitation to share your beliefs and feelings about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, a spirit of love and a spirit of courage will be your constant companion, for perfect love casteth out fear.

-L. Tom Perry

"God will put prepared people in the way of His prepared servants who want to share the gospel."

-Henry B. Eyring

"Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of the Almighty God, and it is to change the world."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

"You may be tempted to say, 'Will my influence make any difference? I am just one. Will my service affect the work that dramatically?' I testify to you that IT WILL. You will never be able to measure your influence for good."

-Thomas S. Monson

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 20:04:00 +0000

"Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life..."

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Life is better when you're laughing."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:52:00 +0000

"Life is better when you're laughing."

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"In Three Words I can Sum Up Everything I've Learned..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:49:00 +0000

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:
It goes on."
-Robert Frost

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:47:00 +0000

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do Begin it!"

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:45:00 +0000

"Whatever you can do,

or dream you can do

Begin it!"

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Be someone who makes you happy"

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:39:00 +0000

"Be someone who makes you happy"

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Go Forward in Life With a Twinkle in Your Eye and a Smile..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:25:00 +0000

"Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

xoxo -Mormon Girl

"Let Refining and Improving Of Your Own Life Keep You So usy..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:20:00 +0000

"Let refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others."
H. Jacksonbrown Jr.

"Do Not Waste Time Bothering Whether You Love Your Neighbor..."

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah Burnes Heiner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 19:18:00 +0000

Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the greatest secrets.When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love them.

-C.S. Lewis

xoxo -Mormon Girl