Diary of a Newspaper Hawk

Presidential Alert - Now That's Funny

2019-08-21T14:07:00.002-05:00

It seems the newspaper era is dying faster than an honest politician's election campaign. Then, there is Donald Trump's Presidential Alert. It isn't really his. It just looks that way.

So, some guy owns the domain. https://presidentialalert.com/

I hope he makes billions.

LeBron James Nike Plain Dealer Ad

2015-06-22T00:30:00.002-05:00

NIKE and the Cleveland Plain Dealer took out an ad in their newspaper. You can read the text below, but you know what, Michael Jordan got it done. I like the ad, but we had the 90s Bulls. We just did it.

Imagine if Lebron came home to Cleveland.

Imagine if the team struggled early but finished the regular season strong.

Imagine if their big man went down, but they still found a way to power through the Eastern Conference.

Imagine if they faced the top seed in the Finals.

Imagine if they pushed Game 1 to overtime but lost another star to injury.

Imagine if everyone counted them out.

Imagine if they shocked the world and took the next two games.

Imagine if fatigue caught up with them, and they lost Games 4 and 5.

Imagine if they defied odds, logic and the basketball gods to come back and win the series in 7.

Except this isn't Hollywood. It's Cleveland.

Nothing is given. Everything is earned.

Just do it.

Blago's Bad Day

2011-12-07T12:47:00.000-06:00

They sentenced him to 14 years. Now, to work on real crime.

Funny: http://senateseatsforsale.blogspot.com

Rant Rant Rant

2011-12-02T16:42:00.000-06:00

What's in a rant? I can't tell you. All I know is there are more ranters than solvers.

I am tired of do-good sign holders telling me how awful the world is. Fix it. You have carried your sign, now go fix it. Or shut up.

Oprah, JR, M.A.S.H., Superbowl - So What?

2011-05-17T22:44:00.000-05:00

Oprah's TV show is ending. JR was shot. The Korean War ended and Hawkeye went home. The Superbowl will come again in 2012.

Big deal. I still see a homeless guy walking by my corner in these windy, cold May days in Chicago.

Some silliness revealed. Oprah's Last Show: Rumors We Will Not Hear

Nice Job Mr Richard Daley

2011-05-13T23:03:00.001-05:00

The new guy does not impress me much, but you, Mr. Rich Daley, were a class act.

NY Firemen Learn Osama bin Laden is Dead Picture

2011-05-02T20:41:00.002-05:00

That's the famous picture from the New York Times. A bunch of guys cheering that the USA killed a man in Pakistan. There's Stassi in the middke doing a mix of Richard Nixon and Fonzie, with Wilson, McLeod, Pelosi, Hickey and some other guys trying to figure out what this means.

Nobody knows what it means, and lemme tell you I don't know either.

I do know Osama bin Laden was a rich brat who used a bunch of kids and dopey lackeys to kill Americans. He was loaded with western money living in the Middle East, blaming America for whatever his therapist told him. Who knows?

Now by this time, his death is symbollic. Barack Obama gets to finish what George W. Bush started and this kind of puts them on the same playing field. Nobody is saying these two men agree on much, but they do agree that terrorism from Islam's extreme side is bad and needs to be taken down. I don't know what the right thing to do is, but this could be a big thing, or just another dead Islamic leader.

Meanwhile in my fair city, Mayor-elect and famous potty-mouth Rahm Emanuel has got himself a new top cop. Newark Police Chief Garry McCarthy will replace Police Supt. Jody Weis. Weis did pretty good. Let's see how it goes.

Read some thoughts on bin Laden's death, including a funny story about Area 51.

Charlie Sheen in Chicago

2011-04-04T13:17:00.001-05:00

I didn't go see Charlie Sheen. That's something people with money do. No sirree. I got better things to do with my time and my money than to watch some whiny rich boy howl around about why he hired whores.

Why, you ask? Because he was rich and ran out of things to spend his money on. I bet ol' Charlie would waste his money on a hooker before he bothered to throw it away at some two-bit Hollywood prima donna's cheap excuse of a show.

But that's Charlie Sheen for you and, that's all you chumps forking out $80 for his whore fund.
That brings me to another point. Yeah, we've got unemployment. Chicago is turning into another political and financial cesspool like Detroit. I get it. And you aren't buying my stinking newspapers either. So quit griping about the economy.
If you have $80 in hooker money (you know Charlie loves 'em) or cocaine money (I hope not), then you got more money than you need. So shut up.

Yeah, I'm angry.

Go ahead and laugh it him, but don't waste you hard earned cash. Buy a newspaper instead (get the Tribune daily n Kindle for $9.99) Chicago Tribune
Five Ways to Fix Charlie Sheen's Live Tour (stupid tips)
Songify This: Winning - a Song by Charlie Sheen (funny video)

Hookups in the 10s

2011-03-21T17:19:00.001-05:00

This University of Chicago website shows us what evolution has come to.

UChicagoHookups.com

Plain and simple: students who don't mind having sex with other students they don't know hook up here.

Previously, this was a CraigsList.org kind of thing.

Or hookers on some tawdry corner.

Or a bar floosy and disease riddled man swapping fluids.

Or a frat party (or a sorority party).

I wonder if Planned Parenthood is co-owner, or provides "see you soon" coupons.

An article in the Chicago Tribune here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/ct-talk-huppke-hookup-20110321,0,7363178.story

Time for baseball season, don't you think?

Real St. Patrick and a Green River

2011-03-15T06:44:00.000-05:00

Apparently green rivers weren't what the Real St. Patrick in Ireland had in mind. It seems he was more sober than the cartoon Americans have made him into.

Rahm Emanuel is now Mayor Emanuel, the guy who pulled a Sarah Palin in Washington DC and left his job to chase another one (which is really the same as President Obama, who left Illinois a mess to chase the White House). Chicagoans had to choose whose rear-end they would kiss. With only screw-ups like Carol Mosely Braun on the ballot, the schmucks had no choice.

The new rage is the old rage, and that's the baby laughing while tearing paper video. Expect to get a good laugh in yourself.

The Chicago Code TV show. What do you think? Lots of cliches in there. Teresa Colvin (Jennifer Beals) reminds me as a clone of the Dr. Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein - see the free download: 'Get Happy' - House musical performed by Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein [HD]) character on House. The trouble I have is I don't believe detective Jarek Wysocki (Jason Clarke) would be palsy-walsy with Colvin, or that Colvin would be in the streets so much. The writing does not impress me. I give it one season.

Punk: Burge gets 4-1/2 years in prison for perjury in police torture case

2011-01-21T16:03:00.002-06:00

How do you like them apples, Jon Burge?
http://www.suntimes.com/3425666-418/burge-lefkow-case-police-hobley.html

Carol Moseley Braun vs Marion Barry vs Betty Loren Maltese

2010-12-31T16:38:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking a lot about Carol Moseley Braun's audacity to enter the Chicago mayoral race had me thinking about former Washington DC mayor Marion Barry and Former Cicero town president Betty Loren Maltese. Funny connection they all have.

Braun has, incidentally, never gone to prison, but I personally wouldn't trust her watching my hound dog.

Betty Loren Maltese: She received national attention for her role in an insurance scam which robbed the town of $12 million. (Wikipedia)
Marion Barry: His celebrity transformed into international notoriety in January 1990, when Barry was videotaped smoking crack cocaine and arrested by FBI officials on drug charges. (Wikipedia)

Carol Moseley Braun: Chicago Democrats survive their scandals by multiplying them, hoping the unbroken monotony of misdeeds will anesthetize the public. But Moseley-Braun may have overdone it even after some notable campaign finance excesses in 1992. (George Will)

Then again, Rahm Emanuel is running after qutting his post (just like Sarah Palin, only he was serving our nation, not a barely populated state), and everyone yawns.

Merry Christmas, Fig Puddy, Santa's Gut, and An Amazing Foul Shot Stuck on the Rim

2010-12-25T12:20:00.000-06:00

Christmas is, if nothing else, a time when people are culturally forced to be nice to each other. While this guy is a little crude about it, he gets it. Even the most bitter, angry, hateful people slow down a little. They might not see the full reality of Christmas, but halfway there is a start.

Me, I have, as most of you have, plans to have dinner with family. No work today, or tomorrow, but back Monday hawking and slinging everything I've got.

To the mystery visitor to this blog who donated to my cause, thank you. May God bless you, too.

I hate fig pudding. It sounds awful.

Getting a good hot bowl of a thick hearty soup is one way to watch out for the cold mornings.

So Merry Christmas. Be thankful, be warm, and don't get too cynical out there. It is Jesus Christ's birthday. Don't ruin it for Him.

The News

Ronny Santo died. Sad. Always liked him. So did Madoff's kid. Can't say nothing nice about a guy I never knew. Santa has been declared a fatty.

Speaking on Ronny, or at least thinking of sports, did you see the Idaho State player's foul shot gets stuck on front rim? Amazing.

Search Amazon.com for Madoff

Running for Chicago (Why I Oughta)

2010-11-29T10:50:00.002-06:00

I Am Running for Mayor of Chicago

I think this t-shirt is funny. Buy one and tell your friends.

They have them in mugs and so on. Join Carol Mosely Braun and other has-beens, wannabes and quitters.

http://www.cafepress.com/ChicagoMayor

Black Friday and Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T13:03:00.000-06:00

Black Friday. I'm in the thick of it. Just because the weather's cold (29 as I type with brittle fingers), and half of America has a day, I'm here. Each newspaper equals income. There's no salary out here in the streets hawking papers.

Michigan Avenue is run over by tourists and executives, and suburban moms. The moms are kind, dropping a few coins into my tip jar even if they don't buy a paper. It is nice to see they understand how hard a life this is. Every dollar counts. Every dollar helps me make it another day, drinking another cup of coffee hoping tomorrow will be warmer, better. Someone even gave me $20.00 for a buck and half paper. Ma'am, I hope God smiles on you today. Thank you, who ever you are.

Sales are brisk, though they come in spurts. People grab a paper on the way in from the L and the Metra, sit down in a Starbucks and flip through looking for Black Friday sales.

Black Friday is here. Black Monday is coming.

Congratulations Chicago Blackhawks

2010-06-13T02:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in the Loop blew my mind. 49 years ago, I was too young to get it. But as I sat slugging papers, a man comes up to me, maybe 70 years old, and tells me he wants a copy of every newspaper. Old school Italian guy named Alfredo. He gave it all to me the way my dad would have explained it.

This was at 6:00 am.

"What are you doing here now?" I asked.

"I want a good spot. Gonna be a crowd today, and I don't have 49 years in me for the next one."

"Right here's a good spot," I said. He pulled out his folded chair, and I sat on me, and we talked until we had to stand and cheer.

It beats hearing about Blagojevich and those whiners who are all in a tizzy about Sarah Palin's boobs. If I want conversation about nothing, I can just hook into whatever Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber is talking about.

Congratulations Chicago Blackhawks.

Search Amazon.com for Blackhawks Gear

Ain't No Sunshine - Illinois' Dark Days

2010-01-15T05:46:00.001-06:00

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone? Not much here in Chicago whether's she's here or not. Warmer temps don't mean sun. They mean slush.

Stories about the dark side of Chicago continue.

And this isn't getting into our corrupt politics. President Obama, Illinois' holy child, hasn't done squat for Chicago. We are not better of than we were in 2008 under George Bush. Unemployment is worse, state and city politics is as bad as when Blago tried to sell Obama's seat. So Mr. Yes We Can is just Mr. I Hope We Will.

Welcome Tommy Rickert, the New Owner of the Chicago Cubs

2009-10-31T12:21:00.002-05:00

You heard the news. The Chicago Tribune (whose papers I love to sell) sold the Cubbies. It happens. Trib wasn't doing it right, plus they aren't selling enough papers, let me tell you.

Do I care? No. Who owns the Cubs? The fans do. Not Tommy Rickert.

Don't get me wrong. He pays the bills, and will make some money. No one believes him when he said they would go to the World Series. That's bar talk. Still, he is planning to improve the food and johns. That's a good thing.

So welcome, Tom Rickert. Get it done right.

The End is Near: Whining About the Good Ol' Days and Other Garbage

2009-08-25T12:23:00.004-05:00

Been looking around. What do I see? Crabby people who don't know how good they've got it.

So what, the Cubbies are being sold? You think they'd be sold if they were making tons of money? No way. Why aren't they making tons? Because the present management can't get the job done. The White Sox take it all the way. What do Cubs fans do? Whine about a guy named Bartman who had a ball land in his lap.

Bears fans are no better. They gripe about QBs. It could be worse. We could've had Brett Favre. Instead, all they got on their lips are two words: Nineteen. Eightyfive. What's that? Right. 24 years ago.

It ain't just sports. Politics too. Whoa is me, whoa is the nation, whoa is the world. I call talk show lemmings. The Pied Piper of the Air Waves gets on, complains about the president. This year, they hate Obama. Last year, it was Bush. Their supporters can't hear any wrong, and their detractors can't hear anything good. Both blame the media, but it is the media where they get their information.

Then it is health care. Everyone knows Barack Obama is morally OK with abortion, so it is no surprise he wants the government to pay for it. Everyone knows Sarah Palin is prolife and anti-euthanasia and is a concerned mother of a Down Syndrome child. Big suprise their supporters do not trust each other.

Economics? Of course. People who bought big houses realize they banked too much in a building are losing their home. I get that sense of failure, but this wasn't anyone's fault but theirs. Are they hungry? No. Not so long as they are drinking coffee.

Fat people are grousing too. Here we go. Whose fault? Not theirs. MSG. Sugar. Restaurants. At least some people admit they need to lose weight and are trying to do something about it.

Michael Jackson is dead and you'd think music itself has died. This could be true since Miley Cyrus started dancing her "I'm a slut, a hooker, and ready for you" style. What we needs is Louis Armstrong singing What A Wonderful World.

My pal who rides the Metra is telling me he sees a thinner commuter route, and those riding are drinking more. Nothing wrong with a good nip now and again, but these are drink alone types. They go home to their houses and apartments, and have three glasses with dinner. So much for the audacity of hope (The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage)).

You don't get the next best thing in life by sucking on your thumb in a corner and thinking about the good ol' days. Get out of the corner, get a life and buy some newspapers. My coffee won't pay for itself.

What A Wonderful World

The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage)

Summertime Blues and Johnny Depp's Gift

2009-06-25T00:04:00.003-05:00

The heat is like the cold. Papers just don't sell. Papers sell when people got time, and they linger. In the heat, they move inside. They don't mess around with dropping me a buck and grabbing a Trib or a Times. Cold days, rainy days -- everyone expects this. But on a hot day, a business guy in a suit? He wants nothing to do with humidity. And let me tell you, that's Chicagoland, and whatever Chicagoland has got going on, th Loop is loaded with it. Heat, and the humidity off the lake.

It's not all bad news. Just because one plugger is struggling doesn't mean we all are. Take Mohammed A. Sekhani. He's a waiter at Gibson's. Nice joint. Steakhouse. Top rate, I'm told. I don't eat there, but Johnny Depp does. A meat eater. Depp left him $4,000 to say thanks for good service. What if that happened to me? It would change my life.

Want more? See Stella Foster's article.

Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy [Blu-ray]

Koko Taylor is Dead - RIP September 28, 1928 - June 3, 2009

2009-06-04T06:39:00.007-05:00

Now no one out there who knows Chicago doesn't Koko. Know the blues? You know Koko. Know anything about music? Maybe, maybe not. She wasn't famous like Bach, but she is a legend like Elvis.

Koko's dead.

I saw her in a few blues bars over the years, and caught her from the lawn seats at the Chicago Blues Fest.

The Chicago Tribune collected what others are saying.

They describe her

Koko Taylor, born Cora Walton in Memphis, Tennessee, moved to Chicago in 1955 and is known as Queen of the Blues. In 1966, she had a major hit with her cover of Willie Dixon's "Wang Dang Doodle (see video below)," a tune that's since become a signature hit for her. Her smoky, almost-masculine-like vocals have influenced some of the most revered female singers around, including Bonnie Raitt and Janis Joplin. Even now, at 79, she pretty much owns the blues scene, having won 25 W.C. Hardy Awards (now known as the Blues Music Awards), more than any other artist.

Chicago's Thug Cop Convicted of Beating Up a Little Girl

2009-06-02T23:29:00.003-05:00

Ain't no good way of saying what needs saying: This guy is an embarrassment to Chicago's finest. Worse than the thugs popping guns in the hood because he claims to be a good man. He's not, as evidenced here.

Anthony Abbate claimed self-defense. She weighs 125. He weighs 250. Apparently, if it was self-defense, he's not much of a man either.

Man up, pal.

The Chicago cops are a fine bunch. Not this chump.

Politics, Crime, Sports. Music: A Look Around Chicago and Beyond

2009-05-26T16:54:00.003-05:00

A few known facts are buzzing around.

Sarah Palin's publishing a book, and while it won't come out until 2010, people are talking about it.
My Chicago Bears are looking at a sweet schedule for the fall.
It is politics as usual in the Supreme Justice election as Obama nominates a Democrat. This should play well in Chitown, land of Daley, Jackson and Blagovich.
Poor Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus is seriously hurt.
Chicago has a Swine Flu death.
Susan Boyle is still amazing (but can she sing the blues?).
Cubs are playing average, Sox are not. Both aren't impressive.
If I cared about hockey, I'd watch the Blackhawks. Nice season they are racking up.

WGN's Kathy and Judy Routine Gets the Boot

2009-05-24T17:07:00.003-05:00

Kathy and Judy were like a feminist version of the basic shock jock. They weren't much for swearing, but they talked about the same kinds of topics that made Steve Dahl famous in the 1970s. Nothing ground breaking about what they said, except that they steered clear of the kind of controversy which would get Dahl fired from places like WLUP back in the day.

Apparently, WGN audiences were tired of cute stories about divorce and sex by two old women. Former Chicago newspaper columnists Kathy O’Malley and Judy Markey hosted for their show 20 years. Coming across like a mix of suburban gossips and hair salon complainers, audiences grew weary, and WGN decided enough was enough.

Needless to say, the ol' Hawk is tired of them two. The began sounding like two moms chatting as if no one was listening, but ended up like two biddies chatting - and no one was listening.

Chicago Tribune: The Girlfriends are going away. WGN-AM 720 this morning announced it is discontinuing the "Kathy & Judy" show, the ground-breaking mid-morning coffee klatch that former Chicago newspaper columnists Kathy O'Malley and Judy Markey hosted for 20 years.

Lebron James Game Winning Shot Live NBA Playoffs 2009 Game 2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs Orlando Magic

2009-05-23T12:17:00.003-05:00

With all the noise about Drew Peterson, Rod Blagovich and the Barack Obama gaff, it is fun to see something cool.

Lebron James Game Winning Shot Live NBA Playoffs 2009 Game 2 Cleveland Cavaliers vs Orlando Magic.

Michael Jordan look out. The Chicago Bulls are still my boys, but I gotta give props to King James.