Diary of an Alien Stuck on Earth

The pie in the sky is a lie

2013-01-30T12:45:00.001-08:00

The pie in the sky is a lie, in the sky
The lie in the pie is a limitless sky
And the pie is as fluffy as clouds in the sky
So the pie in the sky is an absolute lie
When it comes to a pie please don't lie!

My journey away from the escape pod

2012-06-02T23:07:00.000-07:00

Getting down from the mountains I found the fist "foreign" things to me. Gravity was a bit off, though my planet is a bigger gravity is a bit lower. Average acceleration is 9.5 on my planet. That can be explained by the fact that my planet has metalized helium at the core, not iron. What I had to do fast was adjust to the high concentration of oxygen in your atmosphere. Thankfully my pod came with gas adjustment kit.

The mechanical waves that you produce were a shock to me at first, but my communication implant managed to transform them into normal for me electromagnetic waves for communication purposes. Thankfully your unprotected brains manage to give off so many of the, that learning your" speech" wasn't an issue.

Having had absorbed only the Tadjik language I moved towards the closest town. I got a lift from the local farmer to the militia station. Where I was asked for my papers. I presented myself as a refugee from Afghanistan, because the officer thought "Oh, no! Not another one Afghan refugee." That way I got my first set of papers.

27 years on this planet

2012-06-02T22:58:00.002-07:00

It feels so long. 27 years on this planet.
I came here to investigate this strange new segment of this galaxy. 27 years ago my ship crashed into an asteroid near this star. My escape pod shot to the nearest planet. That is how my stay started on this planet.
I was hoping for fast help, but this is where I got stuck. My distress signal waned in the meantime, but still detectable by any ultraluminal spacecraft. I hope that someone will come by this segment of this galaxy.
But in the meanwhile this is what happened and a journal about things that happen.

I come from another galaxy and am a pioneer, of sorts. I come from the Andromeda Galaxy. When I crashed I got mistaken for your own, although it's only your perception that makes me look like a human. I find it funny, that the human brain filters human perception to such a degree that I can be identified as one of you. Having landed into the chaos of the Afghan war, I could easily get new documents and acquire an identity in the Soviet Union.

My escape pod landed in the mountains, you call them Pamir. Having had only my compression suit on, I had to ask for the locals to get something to wear. Thankfully, they thought that I was some kind of a stranded pilot. So I got the first clothes from some Tajik people. The mountains around the area helped preserve the location of the crashed escape pod perfectly, no one to this day suspects where it is.