Diary of an Overseas Filipino Wife

The start of my "own" New Year

2012-03-03T09:57:00.000+03:00

January 1, 2012 for me is a memory that I'd rather forget. While everybody was blowing their New Year horns, I was blowing my nose. Hence, I am starting my New Year this 1st of March ~ in this way, it will be a new beginning for me. I have lamented enough. I went through the phase of coping with feelings of shame, self-pity, anger, self-reproach, and have begun questioning my life purpose. Such feelings led me to be lethargic, I went deeper into my shell. For awhile I became an introvert...not wanting to see or talk to well meaning friends. I deactivated my FB, and bombarded my twitter account with quotes that were similar to how I felt. Whenever we went out to buy a few stuff in the nearby store, I always felt nauseous and badly wanted to go back home. Home and my bed were my only solace...the only place I felt safe. I went through the whole nine yards!

It was pretty bad for me. But it was my daughter who suffered most from my pathetic state. I was like a zombie going through my daily routine without a thought. And when triggered???, I was really piqued! It was tough to hide what I was going through from my husband (of course). But all throughout, my loving husband held my hand and was able to convince me to spill the beans. I was not really comfortable sharing my thoughts with him, most especially after all he's witnessed on that particular New year morning. You see. I've always tried my darnedest to be perfect for the love of my life. He deserves only the best part of me. So, for him to hear and see stuff, was for me, very disquieting.

But I've pondered and wondered and that's over and gone. All through such a trying time, I only had my rosary and my husband's hands to hold. Then the afterglow...this gave me a glimpse of life's perfection. More things to look forward to. A loving family...a responsible, faithful, wonderful and caring husband by my side...wonderful children...they are my reason to live. The past should not hold me. And to quote part of the message sent to me by my youngest sister ~ "...never let anyone put a price tag on you. Only YOU can. Only YOU should. Not even families are given such a right. Or even more correct. ONLY GOD CAN put a price tag on you -- being the giver of our life, being our Creator who made us in His image..."

I will always be thankful to have come from a family with both parents present from day 1, with crazy but loving sisters. In this life, no one, not even families are perfect but we learn. We learn from how we were treated as individuals and use such experience to be a better person...a better wife...a better mother.

I've listed down my objectives for this year:

1. Continue praying. Teach my children how to pray from the heart.

2. Love my husband even more.

3. Stay fit.

4. Spread happiness and positivity by smiliing more, loving more and not sweating the small stuff.

(I've actually posted a sign outside our door that says: "Smile! Bawal sa loob ng bahay ang nakasimangot!" in English, "Smile! Frowning inside the house is prohibited")

5. Encourage more. Complain less.

6. Be fair and forgiving.

7. Be patient.

8. Be humble.

9. No name calling. No comparing. Avoid demeaning. (Children will always remember what you think of them)

10. Be an inspiration to my family and to other people.

I'm not perfect, I know. But my God is. He will be my constant inspiration to be better.

"The most sacred place dwells within our heart, where dreams are born and secrets sleep, a mystical refuge of darkness and light, fear and conquest, adventure and discovery, challenge and transformation. Our heart speaks for our soul every moment while we are alive. Listen... as the whispering beat repeats: be...gin, be...gin, be...gin. It's really that simple. Just begin... again." ~ Royce Addington ~

Unconditional Love heals all wounds

2012-02-29T10:14:00.000+03:00

My "Tweet" sister

2012-02-25T12:18:00.004+03:00

"when we were little playing hide and seek, you always knew where to find me. i haven't changed my hiding place. i am just here ♥" ~ tweet from my sister

In the midst of what I call my "emotional hibernation", my younger sister reminds me where I can find her should I need a pair of listening ears... I felt bad that she had to call me overseas. I did not wish to burden my family with the sort of phase I seem to be going through. Nevertheless it felt good to hear an assuring voice. I was glad she called.

I know not everyone will understand my need to distance myself yet it is comforting to have friends and sisters who respect such imperative to fly solo. Sometimes it is best for private battles to be fought alone. I am assured however, long and murky the tunnel may be... at the end of this cumbersome passage ~ I will be reunited not only with the people I hold close to my heart but also with "myself".

And now my heart silently sings to my Saviour...Psalm 32:7... only the Lord can refresh my soul...

Lonely Echoes...

2012-02-22T12:47:00.001+03:00

My mind's been wandering aimlessly for quite a while. I know deep down that this is something bound to happen. Like a quiet river that grows into a waterfall. I cannot think. I need to be in my solitude. I hope I can find myself again because I know I am lost. A lost sheep. The black one.

In my mind, I am still that child...wanting to be accepted...hurting with each and every rejection. Constantly feeling that my wholeness is in acceptance and forgiveness...of not being judged...in that absolute consciousness of being loved.

I am still that child...asking myself what I can do in my littlest way to be a source of joy not frustration...not disappointment. I am still that child trying to fit in my role as a mother. I thought I have picked up the pieces but being human makes me vulnerable to such feelings.

I know this is just temporary and that I soon will triumph such weakness. But for now let me dwell in my solitude while I find myself again...

Another candle to blow...

2012-02-08T16:15:00.001+03:00

Yesterday marked another year of my life and I celebrated it with my husband and children. A month prior, I planned to invite a few friends but due to unforeseen circumstances, had to cancel. So I opted for a simple one. I prepared Pasta ala Pesto il funghi and baked my own chocolate lava cake. I felt so happy being able to finally perfect the frosting which I've been trying to do so many times and failed. Truly everyday is a learning experience and am glad that I've never stopped trying!

I saw this birthday prayer and I'd like to share it with you as this is the same sentiments I hold in my heart

Birthday Prayer

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.
Thank you for all the people who remembered me today
by sending cards, and letters, gifts and good wishes.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for You,
for times of joy when the sun was shining,
for times of sadness which drove me to You.

Forgive me
for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year.
Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,
and through it to bring good credit to myself,
happiness and pride to my loved ones,
and joy to you. Amen.

Christmas Fever!

2012-01-12T08:58:00.000+03:00

My husband and I planned our vacation for about 6 months, and when he finally booked our tickets 3 months prior we were all already very excited. Every month if we can, we would buy a couple of things to bring to the Philippines. We were only able to fill our balikbayan box by the end of November. We had no savings as it was our first year as a family abroad but my my husband and I agreed to take the opportunity to go on vacation while our parents are still strong. (Remember November 2010 when my mom had her 5th heart attack and none of us can go back home that easily as we left the Philippines a month prior to her attack.)

Prior to our vacay, we planned to bring the kids to Enchanted Kingdom, take the whole family out to dinner, go bonding with my parents, watch a movie with the family and meet all our friends during our 3-week stay in our beloved country. I even planned to go to Baclaran and attend the Wednesday masses and at the same time buy stuff that my kids would be needing for school. All those plans were for naught... 2 days after we arrived, we found ourselves at Casa Medica for various reasons. My kids and I were suffering from terrible cough and colds while my son Alloy had high grade fever. My husband I were up most of the time to make sure that Alloy's fever went down. His fever which was supposed to last for 3-4 days went on and on till it for about a week. By the 30th of December which was our Family reunion, I was feverish myself and the next day, my youngest son was feverish too! I found myself postponing or cancelling scheduled meeting with friends. Most of our cash just went to doctors' PF and medicines. Then 2 days prior to our scheduled flight back to KSA, my daughter and husband got sick.

Of course we will always be thankful for the time that we were able to spend Christmas and New Year with family but it would have been better if we were all "fever-free". I have a lot more to share but for now I'd have to park this as there are just a lot of stuff that I need to clear out. Though it may be terribly late I would like to greet each and everyone a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

"Walking the distance"

2011-11-29T08:55:00.000+03:00

My youngest son needed 20 pieces of popsicle sticks for one of his subjects in school. And since it was a couple of days before month end, we had to hold on to every single halala until my husband gets paid his salary. God is really good! He knew beforehand that something like this would happen so he made sure that I have a couple of orders to deliver which meant extra income that would allow us to stretch our budget. Bunso (a term of endearment for my youngest son) called his dad in the office and told him about his assignment. Hence, as soon as hubby arrived from work he asked me to go with him to buy them stuff.

Although we knew we can buy a pack of popsicle sticks in Al Samil bookstore (which is a one stop haven for arts and craft enthusiasts among other things), we put the thought of going there at the back of our mind. First because it was a bit far and we needed (tough not necessarily) a cab to get there which would displace our budget. So, off we went in search for the said sticks around the area. We went to this baqala (mini mart) near our place unfortunately, they didn't have what we were looking for. Hubby even suggested we buy 20 popsicles and just clean the sticks hahaha but I argued that they were too short. So, hubby and I weighed our options and I told him that I can walk it off from Thuqba to Ramaniya just to avoid spending 30 riyals for a back and forth ride. Al Khobar is such a small place and everything is both "walking distance" or a trip via cab. ("walking distance" meant it was "do-able" one way only lol)

And walk we did, my husband and I joked our way to Ramaniya; was able to cross the streets and byways and arrived at Everything 10 in one piece! But we found no popsicle sticks there either, we had to walk some more to Al Samil (our last resort) where we were able to find one (as I knew they would). And walked again to buy a couple of grocery items from Al Ramah. By the time we were done purchasing our week-long supply, our feet were really really tired and all we wanted was to reach home, take a warm bath and sleep.

Am actually used to walking long stretches of roads but it does help to have the right walking shoes. I was wearing ordinary sneakers which was a bit hard on my sole after one of the longest "strolls" I've ever managed to accomplish.

I came across this photo on the net and I can just imagine how our feet felt like yesterday after that long and tiring traipse down to the heart of Al Khobar.

Siomai? Oh my!

2011-11-18T07:12:00.000+03:00

About a month ago my husband and I went to this Asian store in downtown Al Khobar to look for dumpling wrappers as hubby wanted me to add Chinese dumplings in my growing menu for our food biz. It was there that I was able to buy glass noodles for my Chapchae among several small grocery items that we are unable to find in the local groceries. They also have the same brand of glass noodles that I use back home for my food business but it's more expensive here. 18 riyals for the same pack that I buy back home for only about 130 pesos. It was such great news though that the store did stock on dumpling wrappers, but I was dismayed by its cost. My husband told me to just buy it with my eyes closed rather than waste our trip. But I said that I'd just feel guilty buying the said item when I can buy more stuff with the 25 riyals I will be paying for a single pack of dumpling wrapper. In the Philippines I can buy more or less 10 packs for the same price, it was too much for me! I do understand however, that the reason this is so, is because it's basically an imported item. And no one really makes it locally as dumplings are not part of their staple food. Unlike back home where such food is already part of our culture as influenced by our Chinese ancestors.

I tried using the long rectangular wrapper that they use locally, sorry but at the moment I am unable to recall what it is called. I used it for my Chinese dumpling however, it failed to stick closely to the chicken meat but it was okay. Guilt-free rather than using the 25 riyal dumpling wrapper, this was a close alternative; 10 riyals for about 50 sheets if am not mistaken, is reasonable enough.

Oh for those who are new in Al Khobar so that you'd know, the Asian store is located at the corner of 8th street opposite Corniche. It's along the same row as Al Ramaniyah (farther down) and very near the chain of restaurants in that area.

"Blogging" rights

2011-11-17T10:47:00.002+03:00

I am amazed by the reach of the articles that I write. I have just realised that in only a year, my traffic is already close to 16k page views. Whilst my almost 4 year old blog, From the Diary of a Call center Mom is still inching it's way to 10.5k page views. I do understand that this huge number may include those who just stumbled upon my blog but that means a lot too! Because for every word they search my blog is rightfully tagged hence, stumbling upon my OFW blog is always a good perchance. Too bad I have not had enough time to sit down and maximize my adsense otherwise, I would have more opportunity to finally get a page rank and attract more traffic. Perhaps one of these days I should consider sitting down and leaving all my domestic chores behind even for just one day. At least for today I was able to change my template which I've been itching to do since last month and in the days ahead, organizing my OFW blog in order to attract more.

Still I am ecstatic to see people from all over who refer to my food articles from time to time, fb friends prodding me to put up a food blog where I can share more recipes with them. I have so many ideas but unable to conceptualize it as yet. So, I promised myself to take it one step at a time.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank one of my readers, Ernie Del Prado, who even sent me a message which I would like to share with pride :).

From Ernie: hello po! thanks po sa pag-accept, kala ko po di nyo ako i-aaccept kc di nyo nmn ako kilala. pero sobrang fan nyo po ko kc khit nbasa ko n lahat ng nsa blog nyo, paulit-ulit ko prin itong binbasa. ang cute kc ng mga stories nyo at at nkkarelate ako. thanx po ulit!

Thank you so much Ernie, it is because of people like you, that I get inspired to write more and blog more. And of course my best blog buddy Ria of It's my Party (and I'll cry if I want to). She was the first ever commenter in my Call center diary blog and continues to follow me tsup! tsup! muah! muah! to you Ria :) I met Ria on one the first few articles I wrote in my Call center blog. And would like to share that article with you as well.

Sandstorm

Exhausted after an 11 hour shift made me so eager to head back home. I was not over my son’s tearful goodbye the other day hence, regretted not bringing the car as I would have gotten home sooner. My daughter’s birthday was forthcoming -- reason why I decided against it, as the money supposedly for gas, can be saved for a little surprise for the said occasion . So here I was walking, almost hopping, my bag and arms swinging, whistling a happy tune – when this humongous bus raced by me and summoned a “sand blast.” “F_ _ T!” I shouted. I got sand all over my already oily face, my hair, and even my mouth (I was whistling remember?). The first thought that came to mind – Was that breakfast?

I wrote this piece back in September of 2008 truly my blog has gone a long, long way...and I have my readers to thank for every spark of inspiration, for every chance that I am able to share a story or a recipe, and for the lives I am able to touch. :)

Wordless Wednesday for my sister Coco

2011-11-16T23:52:00.002+03:00

Parable of the Talents

2011-11-13T23:03:00.007+03:00

"Therefore, stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour. For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them."

Today's gospel is about the Parable of Talents and timely at that as we all have witnessed Manny Pacquiao's fighting bout with Juan Manuel Marquez. And nope, am not referring to their controversial fight but more of Pacman's talent which has not gone wasted. Incidentally, this afternoon, I was also able to watch his game show Manny Many Prizes which inspired me to go visit my blog and share a little bit of what I have observed as I watched the show. :)

Our "Pambansang kamao" came from a poor family but because of his perseverance, he has risen to be a world class fighter. Because of his steadfast determination, he now owns a lot properties in the Philippines and abroad, and several businesses to his name. He's also an actor, a tv host and a Congressman. He has climbed from one ladder of success to another and yet his faith has remained unwavering.

Manny Pacquaio is the perfect example of this parable. He was given such a talent which he further cultivated and is now reaping the fruits. I am not completely a Pacquiao fan but in earnest, admire him for what he stands for, for his accomplishments and for being such a good son to his mother. What I admire about him is that he does not only continue to reap the fruits of his crop but has shared the same to so many people. His game show, though not as big as Eat Bulaga, has become one of the channels where he is able to help our countrymen. And i am touched and so much inspired by the man's magnanimity.

I am NOT convinced that he should run for President in the coming years in fact, I hope his mother influences him on NOT running :) You see, politics have a way of shattering a man's family and moral integrity and I would hate to see the Pacquiao family being put to test in this manner.

His life is a very good example of the parable that Jesus shared with his followers (Matthew 25:14-30). Being able to use one's talent is not enough but when it is nurtured and it's harvests shared abundantly, then this comes back as good karma. A blessing for a blessing.

Playing with Clay

2011-11-11T01:33:00.001+03:00

Right after dinner this evening, hubby and I decided to go to Carrefour to purchase some grocery items for the food that I need to deliver tomorrow. While preparing to leave, my children hankered me and their dad to buy them Polymer clay. Their interest with this kind of clay was sparked when they got to watch a segment by Jessica Soho on GMA7 which detailed how one can make a lot of stuff with it and that it can be hardened by baking. However, we were told at Jarir bookstore at the Al Rashid mall that they no longer have the said item. So we bought them, instead, ordinary clay so that they won't feel bad when we tell them the not so good news.

When we arrived they were ecstatic and finding out about what happened did not hamper them from running towards us and looking for the clay. We all got so excited that we sat down and made our own "magnum opus". We had so much fun and decided to take pictures of ourselves and what we were able to make out of it.

Big brother, little tutor

2011-11-10T15:36:00.001+03:00

"Sneakily" taken hehehe they thought I was taking a picture
of the wall decor that my older son posted on our wall.

Just now I can hear, Kuya, my older son review his younger sibling in Science. They're preparing for their upcoming Mastery Test week. They are currently still enjoying their blissful and long vacation as Eid al-Adha is being commemorated. And it amazes me how patiently and responsibly (and quite strict too!) he reviews his younger brother even without me telling him to do so. To add that he even knows how to encourage him, I can hear him telling his younger brother that if he studies he will give him cookies after. So sweet!!!! I wasn't that way with my younger siblings when I was his age; it was Mama who reviewed me and my younger siblings back then. And when we were of age, we studied and reviewed on our own.

You know sometimes after school I would see Kuya going over my youngest son's assignment notebook. When Kuya sees me busy cooking dinner or doing some chores, he would take it on his own to help his younger sibling with his assignments. I love the way he responds to his brothers' needs when he sees that my hands are full.

Thank you Alloy, for helping Mommy out. You realised that I haven't been able to review him and you took it on your own to make sure your brother is prepared for his exams. Thank you son! I love you so much!

Mommy :)

Where the heart is

2011-11-03T09:03:00.001+03:00

I re-posted an article that I wrote February of last year (from my Diary of a Call center mom) because I was reminded of it while watching the evening news. It seems that most of the news we get to watch these days is fraught with violence. Topics from children committing crimes or being used to commit crimes, the number of people committing suicide, erring families, child abuse, to battered women.. The list is endless and very disturbing that sometimes I'd rather not watch the news on the telly at all.

It's because of such news that I sometimes ask myself if my husband and I are bringing up our children the right way. Perhaps we should all take another look at our children as news such as these show that families all over the world are suffering from "internal bleeding." We should always ask ourselves the following questions:

1) Are we showing them enough love?

2) Are we spending quality time with them?

3) Are we listening closely to what they are saying or are tying to say?

4) Are we spoiling them too much?

5) Are we hurting them physically and emotionally?

6) Do we respect their right to be heard?

7) Are we good role models that they can emulate?

8) Have we hugged them lately?

9) Are we comfortable in telling them the words "I love you"

10) Have we blamed them for our failures?

For now I have only 10 as these are the only ones I can think of at the moment. We should start healing our families by being there for them not only physically. Bear in mind that a dysfunctional child is the fruit of dysfunctional parents, who came from a dysfunctional family. (please excuse my redundancy) This is probably of no surprise because even the bible contains stories of such brokenness. Remember Cain and Abel?, The Prodigal son? and, Joseph and his brothers to name a few?

Are families around the world so severed? We all know that being a parent is not easy but we took that responsibility in our hands, we claimed that responsibility as soon as we said "I do." Hence, we are expected to carry on with that promise. We build our family and bring our children up in the premise that they will be positive contributors to the world.

It is important to find that connection again and it's my belief that the world will be worry-free if only we re-learn to value our family. Afterall, home is where the heart is.

Musings on a bake night

2011-11-02T01:38:00.004+03:00

It's funny but I remember being told by someone a couple of years back that we are basically animals (having shared with me her life story). And it's because of this clouded justification, that she seems to think people can sleep with whomever they fancy. Because in her mind...we are animals. I wanted to disagree but I was not in the mood to question her. I wanted to say that we are indeed animals but of the highest form. Because by being so, we are able to question, we are able to reason out, we are able to choose and think. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect but having a family of my own, I understand better where one should draw the line.

Saudi Arabia has made me realise the danger of leaving one's family behind for greener pastures. And it's sad that a lot of families become vulnerable by this separation hence, would either break the husband or the wife. And "sadder" is the fact that the children will always be the one to suffer the most. It's just such a blessing that my husband was hired by a company that offers a family package which makes being together possible.

You'd be surprised that even families who are already here have managed to unhinged from each other...there's a sudden disconnection. The next thing you know, one of them is playing single. This is a wife's, a husband's or a child's greatest fear.

I think this is global, it does not happen "culturally" and affects everybody else the same way. I agree, getting married and having children does not come with a user's manual but everything is instinctive. It's supposed to be an integral part of human nature. And though there would be times that we fall, we're supposed to stand up and do what is right.

I keep on saying that the reason we go abroad is for our family but along the way, the terrible truth is that, some lose their perspective. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and of putting one's family above all else. Luckily, my husband and I share this principle and we live by it. Though the roads can be rough, our family should always be our fortress. And the Lord our rock!

So to all the families out there, hold on and hold tight. And remember that...

Our Family is a circle of strength and love

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more Love..

Every crisis faced together makes the circle grow stronger.

~ Anon. ~

This is how families should be...

The year that was...365 days of KSA!

2011-10-29T09:19:00.000+03:00

It seems like only yesterday when I was so worried and sick of waiting for all our documents to go through, when I would ply the route going to NSO, Manila City hall, Las Pinas City hall, DFA, and the travel agency assigned to take care of our visas. All the hits and misses, all the times that my parents, children and I were held in suspense when only my passport and visa was left and held up at the Saudi Embassy. The times that I felt so utterly miserable because my children and I have been waiting for months to be with my husband. In my mind, I can still recall how I felt so... so... soooo relieved to have accomplished such a herculean task from the time that I resigned from my job at HSBC to the time that I was finally able to get all our passports and visas done.

That was a year ago. It was October 20, 2010 when my parents, sisters and loving nanny accompanied me and my children to the airport. We were all excited. My kids were just plain excited they could not wait to be with their father. My parents, sisters and nanny were all excited for us yet sad that we will be leaving them behind. I remember feeling a wave of emotion that switched from excitement, apprehension, sadness and back. I felt excited because we'd finally be with my husband after such a long wait; apprehension because I didn't quite know what kind of life to expect in Saudi Arabia. Also to add to the fact that unlike in the past, it was the first time I'd be travelling to another country with kids in tow. I also felt sad to be leaving my parents, sisters and my children's nanny behind. But overall I just felt good and very thankful that the "hurdles had been hurdled." Indeed everything went according to His plans, not mine nor my husband's and that in itself dismissed all the anxieties I felt while my children and I pushed our way towards the waiting lounge.

Now one year is over, truly time flies and to quote what a friend of mine told me just a couple of days ago "Time flies when you're enjoying what you do." Indeed I do. From being an HR assistant to a full time mom, I can say there are no regrets. I don't feel disconcerted being without a corporate career or something akin to what I used to have back home. The job I gave up in the Philippines and the one here will always be part of my Curriculum vitae, but my life as a full time mom and wife will forever be etched in my children's and my husband's heart and mind.

So today we celebrate simply because we survived our first year as a family in this country. We were able to beat the odds! This first year was our "make or break" year and thanfully because of this, we know the following years will be a breeze. Our life here is far from perfect but what really counts is the fact that we are all together. Certainly there is strength in numbers.

Happy first year to us!

Post Script:
To families who wishes, are planning or have just been reunited with their loved ones abroad; if you are in the advantage of being able to land a job do so. If not, do something that interests you...make that hobby of yours the start of something big. Let those creative juices run wild! Be the master of your own destiny!

Happy Birthday Papa (re-post)

2011-10-09T07:37:00.001+03:00

From across the miles Papa i send you my warmest regards... I hope you are reading this....

I wanted to share with you a long letter that my father wrote to me and my sisters ages ago, however, I seem to have left it in the Philippines. Before coming to Saudi Arabia, I've managed to go over all my stuff and that was when I came across Papa's letter. It brought back a lot of memories from my rebellious past but I keep thinking that I am thankful for that letter. It was everything he wanted to say but can't. I still wish my father was as talkative as I am. I know for a fact that my sisters and I got our funny bones from him but I got to keep most of the stuff that was meant for a son :-p haha yep my bemuscled legs, my forever tan, my pudgy toes huhuhu and there's even more not worth sharing hahaha. I remember that amongst my sisters, I would be the one who would climb up the roof and help him fix our antenna. The one who would lend him a helping hand for domestic repairs. And when he is not around I would be the one my mom would call to kill a rat or a small snake. Now when I get to think about it, I can only shake my head and wonder how I've managed. But i know those skills would come in handy and am glad Papa was the one who taught me. I got my "boy skills" from my dad and my "girl skills" from my mom...the best of both worlds :) who can beat that?!

Papa, thank you for keeping me - thank you for putting wheels on my bag so that I can stroll it around in school. Though my classmates get the expensive ones that they bought with "ready wheels", I get to keep a bag that my own father improvised for me. Thank you for putting me in school and making sure I graduated :) Thank you for teaching me how to appreciate crossword puzzles and teaching me how to drive... For siding with me at times for telling me I can start having a boyfriend at 18 and when I did, spanked me with your inverted slippers (it did not hurt a bit hahaha) and for everything else...Maraming Salamat! I love you Papa I hope you know that your little girl still exist in the mother that I am now. I am ever so grateful to have you as my Papa! Happy Happy Birthday Papa!

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

more on Bunso and our "magma"

2011-10-03T06:14:00.001+03:00

I just want to share what my youngest son and I say to each other before going to sleep. I don't know and cannot seem to remember how it started but it has gone on for years...

Me : I love you so much Junior/Butbut/Bunso
Allen : I love you so much too Mama. Ang ganda ganda mo Mama.
Me : Ang pogi pogi mo
Allen : Ang sexy sexy mo, Mama
Me : Ang macho macho mo bunso
Allen : Hindi ko ikaw pagpapalit Mama
Me : Hindi rin kita pagpapalit
Allen : (borrowing a line from a TV Ad) Ang sarap Moo!
Me : (also borrowed line from the same TV Ad) mas masarap Cow!

Then we hug each other tightly with matching body wiggle. lol.

We call this our Mutual Admiration Goodnight "Mantra" (if I may term it as such). Coined as an acronym MAGMA... which can also mean Mag mama or mag ina (mother and son). Perhaps it's corny but often it's such memories that bring us back home when we are all grown ups. Will this ruin him? I don't think so. Will this make him a Mama's boy? I hope not! I have no idea. But I'm just hoping that when he grows up he will recall our "mantra" in fond remembrance...

the Promise

2011-10-02T12:28:00.000+03:00

I was in terrible shape the last couple of days - I was feverish, my colds kept me from breathing normally, my cough got me into spasmic fits. I found it hard to get up from bed, I felt utterly useless as I was too weak to cook a decent meal for my family. All the sleepless nights has finally taken its toll...I felt blah! There was even a cookie order that I had to refuse. Weeks back my mom would always remind me to take it easy but I just could not stay put. So there...

One afternoon in bed, I woke up to the soft sobs of my youngest son. I asked him why he was crying and pitifully he said that he wants me to get well. I was trying to comfort him when he stood up and came back with his red stool and a glass of water. He said "Mommy drink water..." I felt so touched (he is the only child left who still looks after me that way, while my 2 other kids were tinkering with their cellphones) boo-hoo. Then he began sobbing again, my youngest told me "Mommy sorry po sa lahat lahat ng kasalanan ko po sa yo" (Mommy sorry for all the terrible things I've done to you.) That got me thinking if he acquired this from all the teleserye he gets to watch sometimes on the telly lol. So I took that opportunity to ask him the following questions and our conversation went this way:

Allen: Mommy sorry po sa lahat lahat ng kasalanan ko po sa yo.

Mom: (hugs Allen) Aww baby that's okay but promise me that you will be a good boy ok?

Allen: (with matching nods) Opo Mommy (Yes, mommy)

Mom: Promise hindi ka na magla-lie kay Mommy? (do you promise not to lie to Mommy?)

Allen: Opo Mommy. Promise.

Mom: Promise hindi mo na aahitin ang kilay mo? (do you promise not to shave your eyebrows?)

Allen: Opo Mommy. Promise.

Mom: Promise hindi mo na aawayin si Kuya at si Ate? (do you promise not to fight with your siblings?)

Allen: Opo Mommy

Mom: Okay sige panghahawakan ko yung promise mo. (ok I will hold on to your promise)

Allen: (hugs mom and sobs some more) I love you mommy

Awwwww! (how sweet it is to be loved by you!)

Bagong bayani?

2011-10-02T10:52:00.000+03:00

This is another blog of mine that I failed to feature weeks ago. And such is due to the fact that I was weighing the pros and cons of publishing this article. But the "writer" in me and the desire to go out with the truth prevailed. So read on...

I was browsing online for forums where I can advertise my "ware" and one of the forums I visited was such a bummer. Reading through one of the threads I felt so disappointed about how some (again I wrote some, not all) Filipinos malign their kababayans who try to make a living abroad. I was forewarned about these type of characters but was still surprised that such people really do exists. Hence, I tried to contact their adminsitrator and forum moderator but sad to say, they have not responded. Either, they don't have time (which is such a big fat lie...I mean why put up a website for Pinoys to exchange or express their views when they can't even respond to online users like me?) or perhaps they feel that it was easier to ignore such complaints.And to realise further that I was not the first member who complained of such demeanor. If this site is even concerned about their kababayans this is the least they can do… to hear out those who were hurt by bluntless accusations.

I saw an ally with one of their members who viewed the site's forum content as I did (please refer to "I have been a member of...") I believe in freedom of expression but just like the controversial RH bill, I believe that certain freedom of whatever needs to be moderated to make sure that an individual stays human and humane. I cannot emphasize more on the fact that whatever skin color we carry we must remember that we are responsible for each other. And because I am a Filipino I feel it is my duty to help our kababayans in whatever way we can. Roughly translated we can help in terms of an opportunity... the same kind that was given to us. But never to belittle even the smallest triumph of our kababayans. It's just so sad that even such triumphs can elicit envy and resentment. In our own vernacular this is how I wish to describe it "parang ayaw niyo nang magtira ng kaunting kaligayan sa ibang kababayan natin." For what? I cannot even start to fathom...

We work abroad because we want to provide our family a better life and be able to help our loved ones and other kababayans as well. That's the reason why when we are given that golden opportunity, we do our best to work and to find other means to earn extra. However, it is so sad to know that there are certain people who will start judging you (without really knowing who you are). Such people will even go to the extent of breaking your chances by breaking your spirit.

Being a part of the human race, I feel that this person or anyone else for that matter, does not earn the right to besmirch anybody especially anyone from his own country. We are all Overseas Filipino workers (supposedly the "bagong bayani" of our country) working our asses off in a country not our own. It is enough that some of our countrymen are treated inhumanely by these locals but to be treated the same and judged without any basis at all by a co-Filipino, just shows how little he respects his kababayans. Instead of helping, he would rather ridicule. Instead of encouraging his kababayans, he finds it more amusing to give out insults in a rather large platter. People like this particular member would rather dish out insults and test people as if he owns them. And people like this man would jump up with glee for the failure of another! I am also an ofw and I've worked as an HR Assistant for a big hotel and I make sure I treat everyone I come across with respect. Simply because I'd like other nationalities to see how good Filipino workers are and because I want to give our kababayans the same kind of opportunity I was given. This is called giving back! I hope something is done about this!

Perhaps this is not the proper venue for me to air my chagrin, but I would like our other kababayans to understand that we should not let others down the way this man has done. How can we expect our country to progress if other Filipinos are more keen on bringing their kababayans down rather than pushing them forward? The trouble with these kinds of people is that they only think of themselves and think of themselves so greatly that they can just say anything they want. Sites like these were supposedly put up to bring Pinoys together so that they can help other kababayans trying to reach out to other Pinoys abroad unfortunately, this is not the case. I really hope something is done because the future of our race and the betterment of the FIlipinos is dependent on how much we want to change and this change must start from ourselves!

"Gift from Virgo"

2011-09-25T15:57:00.002+03:00

My daughter just turned 13 while my mom 72, several days ago. I was not able to post my birthday blog for them as after that day I was really swamped with orders. It's the beginning of my daughter's teen years and I don't know what to expect. Perhaps I do, though in denial because being a teener once, I definitely know how it works! So should I be afraid or should I be prepared? I choose the latter though. I want my daughter to enjoy her teen years so that she would have fond memories of this particular stage in her life. I don't want her to grow up afraid or unable to say what's on her mind. I want her to grow up confident and yet respectful of the opinion of others. I want her to be able to strike a balance on what she wants to do and doing things right. Perhaps these are all easier to write about as compared to the execution but I've promised myself to be the kind of mother my daughter will need during this "hormone-crazy" stage. I'll cross my fingers to that!

And to my mom, who I drove bonkers during my own teen years... I can never compare myself to you. Once, my sisters and I were casually talking about our current life; we realise that we can never do the things you did when we were little. It seems that you were tireless... Coming home from school, you would cook, sometimes do the laundry, while making sure we did our homework or studied for an exam. Sometimes I catch myself these days wondering how you managed to do everything while I struggle with my own domestic responsibilities. But that's you! :) Am pretty sure you've crossed your fingers a hundred times for me too! :)

That said... I just want to greet both of you the best birthday ever! I've lived with a virgo for most of my growing up years and now have a virgo of my own. It seems that I'll be surrounded by virgos for the rest of my life. Am not saying it's a bad thing but do Aquarians and Virgo match? really?

In good hands

2011-09-25T13:02:00.000+03:00

Just recently I communicated with Metrobank about my concern on account security and what-have-you. It is good to note that I have found their service very reliable and their people willing and able to help, and ready to answer all my questions. No time was wasted, I was able to get answers without being passed around and without having to wait endlessly for someone to respond to my query. I would like to give special thanks particularly to Ms. Irene Rose G. Elpa and Ms. Ma. Consolacion C. Ombac, both employees of the bank who epitomises the bank's main thrust of making their customers feel that indeed they are "In good hands."

Thank you so much!

Born to be...

2011-09-21T00:11:00.000+03:00

I got my first real taste in entrepreneurship when I embarked on a "small" sari sari store when I was about 7 or 8 years old. Because I did not have money then, I'd gather all my tiny toys, choose from amongst them and mark them for sale. I did not sell them as is; at that age I surprised myself by thinking of a strategy on how to entice children to buy. So what I did was to make my own "palabunutan". And for visual purposes I made something similar to what I did as a child.

The idea is for the kids to choose a number, at the back of this number is the toy that corresponds to the chosen number. Back then .25 cents was a big deal. I earned but not much, unlike the big sari-sari store in front of our apartment. I recall bringing out our stool and a small table where I would have a few candies inside jars and this "palabunutan" which I hang on our gate. I also remember a time when I was in gradeschool and highschool where I would make bookmarks and ask my sister to help me sell them. There was even one summer vacation which I spent with my cousin in Laguna ~ they used to have a bakery. I would wake up really early and help them sell "hot pandesal." :) One fond memory that I'd like to share is when I spent my summer vacation in my maternal grandmother's house in Batangas. I hankered her to buy ingredients for halo-halo which my cousins and I sold for 1 peso per glass the next day.

My trip down memory lane made me realise that entrepreneurship has been in my blood all along. I was born to be a BusinessMom. My being such a risk taker has helped me in ways which I find stupendous at times, as this has helped me as well in taking that first step.

Am happier where I am now, perhaps what I have achieved is minute compared to our other great kababayans out there. But I basked in the thought that I continue to face everyday with contentment knowing that I have found myself and have taken the road to my aspiration.

In Silence....we all pray for our fallen brothers

2011-09-11T17:56:00.002+03:00

To sister number Two!

2011-09-07T01:39:00.000+03:00

To my sister Minpi Carreon Bailon, who celebrates her birthday today.

Sisters are different.

They heard the sobbing in the darkness.

They lived through all your triumphs, all your favorites, all your loves and losses.

They have no delusions.

They lived with you too long.

And so, when you achieve some victory, friends are delighted -

but sisters hold your hands in silence and shine with happiness.

For they know the cost.

- Pam Brown

Because of you I always had something... a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear...whatever it was you were always there. No one else knows me like you do sis! Thank you for believing that I can, for believing that I am and for simply believing.

I love you and miss you :) enjoy your day buy that expensive bag, or that nice little pair of shoes, or that pretty dress that you've been eyeing for weeks! :)

Happy Happy Birthday! With my wishes are our prayers that the Lord shower you abundantly on this day and always!