Diary of Excellence

Diary of Excellence: Don’t Quit

2012-01-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

Diary of Excellence: Don’t Quit: Don’t Quit When things go wrong, as they sometimes will. When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill. When the funds are low and the deb...

Don’t Quit

2012-01-03T13:28:00.000-08:00

Don’t Quit
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill.
When the funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow —
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out —
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit —
It’s when things seem worst that you must not QUIT....*Let your LifeExcel*
Welcome to your year of BIRTHING......

The Disengaged Employee Epidemic

2011-09-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

A Saratoga Institute study found that 89% of managers believe that most employees are pulled away by better pay. Yet the data reveals that, in 88% of voluntary turnovers, something besides money is the root cause.

Recently the Gallup Organization reported: "In average organizations, the ratio of engaged to actively disengaged employees is about 2:1."This troubling statistic implies about half the employees in most companies are simply punching the clock, getting by with minimum effort, and showing up at work to collect paychecks and health benefits.

"Actively disengaged employees erode an organization's bottom line while breaking the spirits of colleagues in the process. Within the U.S. workforce, Gallup estimates this cost to be more than $300 billion in lost productivity alone" (www.Gallup.com, August 23, 2011).

Actively disengaged employees are not excited about their jobs, they are disconnected from the work community, and they can have bad attitudes...resulting in limited innovation, minimal teamwork, lackluster customer focus.

What is the antidote for actively disengaged employees?

Ultimately, it's the leader's effectiveness in creating vision for a preferred future, in establishing an appropriate, values-driven culture that determines the level of employee engagement and thereby, organizational results.

The antidote for actively disengaged employees is vision, empowerment, trust and fulfillment. And the best remedy is a leader who will embrace and practice values-based leadership.

Are you a values-based leader? Ask yourself the following questions and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 (highest). Better yet, ask your employees to rate you - the answer you receive will indicate how close, or how far, you are from being a values-based leader.

* Provide vision and direction
* Do I provide a compelling vision for the future?
* Do I articulate and live-out corporate values, leading by example?
* Do I act with integrity, valuing people over profit?
* Do I relate to others with humility and compassion?
* Do I strive to provide fulfillment and significance for all employees?
* Do I foster empowerment and teamwork?
* Do I communicate with and coach my team effectively?
* Do I demand accountability for myself and others?

Values-based leadership is about you aligning with and living-out corporate values on a daily basis. It's about you as a transformational leader bringing true value to employees, suppliers and customers rather than seeking personal rewards, recognition or power.

Wiser than showing half of your staff the door would be examining answers to the questions above. Becoming a values-based leader will make a positive difference in your organization, in the lives of your employees and in your own career.

Will you be the antidote to the Disengaged Employee Epidemic?

TALK THE WALK

2011-01-24T14:20:00.000-08:00

Have you ever said something about yourself or referred to something you wanted to do and then thought, "Why did I say that? What are people thinking of me right now? They must think I am boasting or have a big ego!" If so, then that may be why you can't clarify your purpose, simply because you are not comfortable talking about or referring to yourself. Don't worry, however, for I have someone who can help you. Read on.

DID HE REALLY SAY THAT?

So David, armed with the right equipment (a sling and some stones), stepped onto the battlefield to face this fearsome giant. Immediately he was confronted with some daunting threats from this behemoth:

He said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. "Come here," he said, "and I'll give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!" (1 Samuel 17:43-44).

Now if David was like some people I know, he would have then said, "Well, maybe, I mean perhaps the Lord may want to use me, but don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I know for sure and if something good does happen, it will be the Lord and not me. I don't want you to ever think it's me."

Fortunately, David was of a different mindset. When Goliath verbally attacked, David was quick to retaliate:

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands" (1 Samuel 17:45-47).

What bravado! What courage! What confidence David had! There was nothing tentative in what he said or planned to do. He was bold and specific. Many think that kind of talk alienates God. Are you one of those who thinks that? If so, then you need to change the way you think!

God isn't repelled by such talk; that talk drew Him to David's cause. He promptly went out with David to meet the giant. David made good on his promises, while Goliath died trying to figure out what went wrong.

TALK THE WALK

How can you apply this lesson to your life right now? First, David had a track record from which he could draw. He had killed lions and bears, and he saw killing this giant as a continuation of those exploits. You must allow God to put you in challenging situations so that, when you overcome, you will be able to refer back to those experiences to help you fight future battles.

Second, you must know who you are and what you want to do. David did not hold back; he was clear and concise. He said, "I am a champion of God and you, Goliath, are not. You are coming down, in spite of your size, words and confidence."

Finally, David said what he was going to do without fear of what others thought of him. He spoke positive, affirming, and powerful words and then set about fulfilling them, even thought he was young - a lot younger than all those soldiers, his brothers, and even King Saul.

What are you speaking these days? A better question is what aren't you speaking? Tentative, faithless words produce tentative, faithless actions. Positive, powerful words produce similar actions. Stop being hesitant and fearful of making bold statements where your purpose and dreams are concerned. Dream great things, talk about them and don't worry about how you sound to other people. Only be concerned with how you sound to God.

Many people are concerned with walking the talk, but if you aren't talking about what you are going to do with God's help, you won't have anything to walk! Dream great things, talk about doing them and then go for it! It's simple to describe but not simple to do, I know. I also know that you can only do great things once you stop stumbling and mumbling through your purpose and dreams. Every day this week, you need to watch what you don't say and follow David's example.

Time To Clean Up!

2010-12-31T06:56:00.000-08:00

This is culled from W.D. Favour's post. I think it will bless you too.
Here’s the text from a 3-part teaching I gave over the weekend on the subject of holiness and purity as we continue on our 40 day’s of fasting and prayers. It is a very rich spiritual resource for personal meditations as well as for use in group bible studies and retreats.

1. Turn from your evil ways!
Bible Reference:
Jonah 3:5-10
"The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust.
"Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish".
When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened."
I’d like you to observe that it was not just their fasting that moved God, but the fact that they also turned from their evil ways. For your fasting and praying to be acceptable to God, you must turn away from those things that are against the ways of the LORD. It’s not just enough to fast and pray. We must turn from our evil ways if we intend to see the LORD’s compassion.

2. Spiritual and moral cleansing
In fact, one of the most important thing you must do during any fast, particularly lengthy ones, is to review your life in the light of the commandments of God.
Bible Reference:
Psalms 139:23-24
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
A season of fasting is a time for soul searching, repentance, contrition, and thorough spiritual and moral cleansing.
Those relationships that are opposed to His ways and commandments must be forsaken.
Those behaviours that contravene His laws must be repented of and rejected.
Every weight that hinders your peace with God must be thrown off. Every besetting sin must be put off.
Stop meddling with unclean things. Stop defiling yourself. Stop sinning against God.
Speak the truth from your heart and deceive no more. Put all lies and falsehood away from your life.
Repent and turn from impurities and every immorality and lust.
Repentance is the surest and fastest key to restoration. But it must be genuine, sincere, and total.
Our God is gracious and compassionate. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. If you return in sincere humility and contrition, He will relent from sending calamity.
Practical and abiding holiness and moral purity should be a major goal of every fasting season of yours.

3. Make every effort to be holy
Bible Reference:
Hebrews 12:14
"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."
Let me repeat that last line: without holiness no one will see the Lord.
To see God means to enjoy fellowship with Him, as well as to experience His power and glory. So, holiness is a major condition for intimacy with God, and for supernatural manifestations.
Holiness was the major reason the level of intimacy that Jesus enjoyed with His Father and the level of supernatural manifestations He commanded while on earth.
Bible References:
John 8:46; Hebrews 4:15
"Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me?" (John 8:46).
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15).
His life on earth was a testimony of a stainless spiritual and moral purity. That was why He enjoyed an unparalleled height of supernatural glory while walking on this earth.
And you and I have been called to walk with God as He did, for as He is so are we in this world.
"Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world." (1 John 4:17).
For this reason we must make every effort to be holy.

4. Depart from iniquity
Bible Reference
2 Timothy 2:19
"Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity."
As Christians, and particular praying and fasting ones, it is our personal responsibility to proactively and reactively move away from any possibility of spiritual and moral defilement. You and I can’t afford to be calling on the name of the Lord and still be toying with sin. The consequences are just too grave and devastating.

5. Cleanse yourself
Bible Reference:
2 Timothy 2:20-21
"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work."
The issue of spiritual and moral purity is not something you can afford to leave to chance. It’s not a matter for wishing either. It is your duty to cleanse yourself. And this is one of the major reasons God introduced the mystery of fasting, mourning, and sackcloth.
A time of fasting should include quality sessions devoted to humble contrition for, confession of, and repentance from known and unknown sins.
Practical and abiding spiritual and moral purity should be a major goal of every fasting season of yours.

6. Let go of your worthless idols
Bible Reference:
Jonah 2:8
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."
Imagine the grace that could be yours if only you’d stop clinging to worthless idols and holding on to empty distractions.
How far have your idols brought you; those things in which you so shamelessly lean on?
Is it not yet time to return to the LORD? Are you not yet tired of your backslidings and frustrations? Aren’t you yet weary of your sins and hypocrisies?
Return and He will have mercy upon you. Call upon Him and He will answer you. Repent and He will restore you.
But if not, behold the sword of His wrath lies at your door step to cut you off from your place. And none shall be able to deliver you from the coming wrath.
Turn to Him now while His mercy is still extended to you.
Let go! Let go!
Let go of your worthless idols.
Cling to them no more.
Lift up your eyes and look to your Maker; look to your Heavenly Father only.

The Dynamism of Knowledge

2010-09-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

Contradictions are beautiful; as a matter of fact, I prefer them to conclusions. Conclusions tend to restrict and choke the freedom of individuals to think for themselves. Contradictions on the other hand allow the mind and spirit to roam freely and question everything.

I understand, though, that this holds true only for those who love to think for themselves, and who have developed their minds to do so. For the rest, I can imagine that contradictions would breed confusion. They would rather have conclusions, that is, thoughts that have been processed in the minds of others, and then served to them , either for a fee, or for free.

According to the New York Time’s A Scientist Takes on Gravity, Erik Verlinde, 48, a respected string theorist and professor of physics at the University of Amsterdam, has challenged the basic laws of Newtonian and Einsteinian Gravity. He categorically stated that ‘For me gravity doesn’t exist.’

It was quite thrilling for me to read that.

I truly admire the kind of mindset that is neither intimidated by the age of any conclusion, nor by the authority and expertise of those that made the conclusion.

I prefer to keep an open mind on all subjects and to keep learning.

Knowledge is infinite and extremely dynamic; there’s no end to it. So why conclude?

Heaven would be so boring were it not for the fact that we’ll be exploring the inexhaustible depths of God’s infinite knowledge and wisdom through all eternity.

I used to be upset and annoyed by dogmatic conclusions. Now I find it all rather amusing, silly, and boring.

I know what I know. I don’t know what I don’t know. But I know that what I don’t know is greater and superior to what I know. Furthermore, the progressive knowledge of what I don’t know will ultimately modify, or overwrite what I know.

In that case, I avoid any emotional attachments to any thing that I know, in spite of how sensible, reasonable, or logical it may appear.

knowledge is essentially dynamic.

culled from W.D Favour
www.wdfavour.com

2010-09-23T16:00:00.000-07:00

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10 Million Purpose Driven Youths in the World by 2020

2010-03-14T09:43:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking of the world and my generation will be like if we can find one youth whose life is driven by purpose,who is also committed to the fulfillment of that purpose.I believe that many lives will be touched positively.
How much more when there are 10million of such youths spread all over the world. I call to mind a religious saying that states that 1 person can put a thousand enemies to flight and 2 persons, ten thousands to flight. This,if applied to 10million purpose driven youths, will surely put to flight every corruption that has eaten into the fabrics of our society. Join this cause on facebook and let your voice be heard and your impact felt in this your one and only life time- 10million Purpose Driven Youths in the World by 2020.

Out with the Old, In with the New

2009-02-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

17, 2009 • Print Article
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Out with the Old, In with the New by
Brent Barnett
Luke 5:36-39 says, "And He was also telling them a parable: 'No one tears a piece of cloth from a new garment and puts it on an old garment; otherwise he will both tear the new, and the piece from the new will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled out, and the skins will be ruined. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins. And no one, after drinking old wine wishes for new; for he says, "The old is good enough."'"

Jesus' ministry came at a time when Judaism had been severely perverted into an outrageous system of rule keeping with self-righteous teachers presiding as rulers over the people of Israel. Rather than look at how the Old Testament foretold of Christ's coming and sacrifice, they ignored what had come in the person of Christ in exchange for what had been. The Pharisees and many of the Jews had become enslaved to a thinking process that loved the old ways. Now, there is nothing wrong with being nostalgic or reflecting upon the past, but it becomes wrong when it controls us to the extent that we are unable to put it out of our minds. The Jews were so consumed with Moses and the Law that they could not recognize God Himself in their midst. Though they wanted a Messiah, they wanted it their way. They wanted a Messiah Who would bring back the glory days of an earthly kingdom as it had been under David and Solomon. They wanted the past, and because they thought that the old was good enough, they missed the future which was right before their very eyes. They were satisfied with the old wine, and their clouded view of the past led them to miss the new wine in Jesus which was far better.

In order for them to receive the new wine, they needed to realize that they would have to lay aside their system of self-righteous Law-keeping. Jesus preached a message of forgiveness, healing, grace, and life. He didn't come to set up an earthly empire, but He came to demonstrate His eternal power and overcome the world. He didn't come to show that Law-keeping was the way to eternal life, but He Himself fulfilled the Law because no man could do it (Romans 3:23, 8:4). The Law brought condemnation and showed man his inability to keep it (Galatians 3:24). Jesus came to bring life, and life to the full (John 10:10).

Old wineskins were fitting for the old wine. The Law did its job, and it did it well (Romans 7:12). But its job was to point people to the cross and to Christ, Who had come in the flesh. If new wine was available in Jesus, then it made no sense to put it into old wineskins which would break as soon as the wine was poured in. The Law had done its job, and the new wine needed new wineskins. The new wine of forgiveness in Christ needs to go in the new wineskin of grace. We were under law, but now we are under grace (Romans 6:14). The old covenant is over, and the new covenant has been established. Christ is the centerpiece and the focus. We must drink of Him (John 7:37).

If we find ourselves still trying to earn our way into God's favor, we need to lay aside the old and receive the grace and forgiveness of Christ. If we are attempting to manipulate God into giving us what we want in life, we need to stop drinking of the old wine and simply receive the blessings which He graciously gives as He knows best.

Trying to do things on our own strength apart from Christ is like pouring wine into a leaky wineskin. It will never work. Do we want to be full in Christ? Do we want to experience the promised abundant life? Life to the full is found in abandoning the old wine, taking hold of the new wineskin by faith in Christ, and allowing Him to fill us and empower us as He pours the new wine of His grace into our hearts.

Brenton M. Barnett is the founder of the free Bible teaching ministry, Relevant Bible Teaching, found on the web at www.relevantbibleteaching.com. He is also the author of Catch Fire: A Call to Spiritual Awakening. Brent's greatest joys in life are his wife, Sarah, and daughter, Anneke.

2009-01-07T14:29:00.000-08:00

New Year Ramblings

Happy New Year! I hope 2009 will be a purpose-filled and
productive year for you. Hoping, however won't get the job. Purpose and productivity are never accidents. They occur through focused and specific actions that emanate from a vision of what you want to achieve. Purposeful action is just that -- action -- and is never the result of passive wishing or praying. So with that in mind, I hope you will allow me to think out loud as to what kind of 2009 I intend to have, Lord willing.

HARD WORK

I was reflecting the other day on a verse that has impacted my life for the last 25 years. It is found in 1 Corinthians 15:10: "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me." I remember reading an anonymous quote a few years ago that stated, "There are many people who want to change the world who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon," In other words, wishful thinking won't impact the world unless the thinking translate into action and hard work.

So I have set these goals and objectives for 2009. Have you set yours yet? If not, there's still plenty of time. That's what January and rainy or snowy Sunday afternoons are for.

2009 GOALS

By God's grace and with His help, in 2009 I will:
Improve communication with my audience through Facebook (I already have a page), my website (check out my "Latest New" section on my homepage), my blog and a service called Twitter (where I am @johnstanko).
Delegate more of my work to a team of interested people in the U.S and around the world.
Publish The Faith Files, Volume 2.
Have 90% of my classwork for my Doctor of Ministry completed, including my ministry project.
Resume broadcasting on radio and begin on television.
Hold more leadership training sessions here in my hometown.
Establish a regular savings plan (I have the figure established).
Read 50 books (I finished 54 in 2008).
Resume teaching college classes (I have two scheduled for the coming term).
Work smarter, not harder.
Establish better and more regular streams of revenue from books, training sessions and courses I have written and developed over the years.

I won't bore you with all the specifics of those 11 objectives but I have them. I hope to do these in partnership with my local church, but if that doesn't work out, I am prepared to do them on my own time. So what will you accomplish in 2009? Why not take a moment and share at least one goal for 2009 with the rest of my readers on the site where this entry is posted? Help create a wave of goals from around the world that will stimulate even my most casual reader to take action on a dream today.

From "The Monday Memo from John Stanko"

Ideas - Vehicles from Present to Future By Justin Pinkerman

2008-11-28T12:56:00.000-08:00

After the dismal showing of the Republican Party in the 2008 election cycle, critics both within and without the party blamed the poor performance on a lack of fresh ideas.

While it's debatable which party offers stronger ideas for the future, one thing is certain: people expect leaders to put forth powerful ideas before entrusting them with the authority to lead.

Ideas are vehicles that transport us from what is to what could be; leaders are drivers who seek out the best ideas and pilot them into the future. Of course, the salvation of ideas depends upon more than finding them. Only when we shape, stretch, and apply ideas to our lives do they bring us benefit. However, before an idea is implemented, it must be discovered, and the responsibility for hunting down the best ideas falls squarely on the shoulders of leaders. Let's examine three simple avenues by which leaders can take hold of transformative ideas.
THREE PRACTICAL TIPS FOR ATTAINING THOUGHT LEADERSHIP

1) Spend Time in Reflective Thought

While experiencing the emotions of a tense meeting or the motion of a fast-paced day, it can be difficult to think clearly. Leaders make a habit of withdrawing the reconsider events after they transpire. By doing so, they discover ideas and insights that would otherwise go undetected. In addition, reflective thinking enables a leader to rise above the details of the day and connect ideas to the big picture.

When surrounded by a chirping Blackberry, a buzzing landline, and a bustling office, reflective thinking is a near-impossibility. The search for ideas requires a leader to sequester himself or herself from time to time in order to think without distraction. Leaders must carve out the space for reflective thought by occasionally placing themselves off limits.

2) Tap into Your Social Network

Reflective thinking has merit, but not all ideas are generated in isolation. Important as quiet reflection may be, leaders benefit equally from strolling through the office to solicit the thoughts of colleagues and co-workers. The best thinkers I know have a penchant for asking penetrating questions. In doing so, they draw wisdom out of the repositories of experience and expertise around them.

Thought leaders invest their social capital to come up with innovative ideas. They form clubs or join associations to debate the pressing issues related to their field. They exchange ideas with fellow leaders and accumulate a wealth of knowledge. Some have even solved organizational dilemmas by open-sourcing, allowing experts anywhere (clients, suppliers, academics) to bring their knowledge to bear on a particular problem. Whatever the case, thought leaders initiate conversations with those in their networks to unearth new ideas.

3) Uncover the Lost Art of Leadership... Reading

Precious few leaders invest time to read books and extract ideas from them - to the detriment of the organizations they lead. Authors spend countless days fine-tuning their ideas into paragraphs and chapters before publishing them as a book. Yet, in a matter of a few hours, a leader can access and absorb those ideas. In turn, leaders can apply newfound ideas in their strategy, systems, and organizational dynamics to positively alter the course of their business.

If you doubt the power of a written idea, consider this intellectual progression: Ralph Waldo Emerson's philosophical writings on self-reliance informed and inspired a young man named Henry David Thoreau. Thoreau's application of self-reliance to social injustice prompted him to pen an essay entitled "Resistance to Civil Government". Halfway around the world, Ghandi read Thoreau's essay, and it motivated him to organize India's peaceful protest of Britain's imperial rule. Decades later, Martin Luther King, Jr. would draw encouragement and strength from the writings of Ghandi as he coordinated non-violent resistance to the oppressive systems of racism in America.

Summary

By putting his ideas on paper, Ralph Waldo Emerson initiated a chain reaction that sparked social revolutions on two separate continents! Ideas matter. Unfortunately, they don't fall into our laps. They must be extracted from our relationships and environments through intentionality of thought, interaction, and habit.

In the words of author Bill Taylor, "The only sustainable form of business leadership is thought leadership." Products have limited shelf life, competitive advantages can be copied, and the technology of today will be obsolete tomorrow. Ideas, on the other hand, will always be in demand, and "leader" will always be the name given to the person who finds and applies them.

Portable Comfort Zones

2008-11-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

How many times have you heard someone say that you need to get out of or expand your comfort zone? Have you ever said it to yourself? Yet I am not sure that I comfort zone is really a comfort zone. I think it may be a fear zone, for there a whole lot of people I have talked to who are anything but comfortable in their supposed comfort zone. If you would like to explore the possibility that your comfort zone isn't what you think it is, then I invite you to read on.

FEAR ZONE

Let's consider the apostles for a moment, shall we? These were men who were with Jesus until He left earth, when His last instructions were for them to go to the ends of the earth. The apostles, whose name in Greek means "sent forth," were afraid to venture out of Jerusalem because they did not like to be around Gentiles. Even though God had spoken to them, they were stuck in a zone, but it was anything but comfortable for them.

Their comfort zone was really a fear zone. They were afraid of missing the Lord, of what other Jews would say and think, of doing the wrong thing, of touching the unclean, of venturing out into new things and contact with people who didn't think and act like they did. While it appeared that they were in their comfort zone, they were not. How could they be comfortable with so much fear and trepidation?

It wasn't until they got free from their fear and hang-ups that they could be comfortable with who and where they were and then embrace what they needed to do and be. I would say that the first step in venturing out of one's comfort zone is to be truly at comfort and ease with your present reality -- with who you are and what God has purposed for you to do.

PORTABLE COMFORT ZONES

I found this true in my own life. Until I discovered who I was and stopped pretending to be who I wasn't, I could not venture out of my little world. I only wanted to be with people like me because I was afraid to confront people who thought and acted differently than I. I could not venture out of my comfort zone because I didn't have a comfort zone. I only had a fortress that was built to keep me in and others out. I also didn't want to try new things or venture into the unknown. That's all changed today. I know who I am and therefore I am free to change and make mistakes trying.

So are you in a comfort zone or a fear zone that you are trying to disguise as comfortable? Are you afraid or are you so comfortable with who you are and what God has given you to do that you can experiment and learn new things? Don't worry too much about getting out of your comfort zone until you find where it truly is.

When you do that, you will have the courage and self understanding that will enable you to actually carry our comfort zone into the new and uncomfortable. You will have portable and expandable comfort zones that go where you go, because your comfort zone isn't external but internal. When you achieve that, you will learn, grow and be the person of purpose that God always intended you to be. Have a great week!

How's Your Self-Awareness?

2008-11-13T22:32:00.000-08:00

How would you rate your self-awareness in general? What about your relationship self-awareness? Are they the same, perhaps similar; or do you see these two areas as distinct from one another? Questioning yourself can help raise your self-awareness. However, the questions you ask need to be deeper and more meaningful then the ones you would use as a measure of how you appear to others. These more thoughtful questions will help you to probe the center of who you really are. Without knowing this you can't learn to accept and love the person inside. This is essential for all change to take place. Otherwise you become stuck in beliefs and behaviors that determine the outcomes in your life.
So, what are meaningful questions? For starters; they are always the harder ones that lead you to look closely in the mirror for all your features, good and bad. In compiling a list for yourself; it may be helpful to break questions into categories. As an example, you could begin with career, social, intimate relationships, spiritual and financial. If you would like to add or subtract from the list, do so. Be creative and let your mind play with all possibilities.
Now begin to develop your questions. Start with the simple ones first and move to the deeper and more difficult ones to answer. The following are examples of questions you may “want to try on”.
Career:
• Do I like what I do?
• Do I feel as if I am being challenged to my ability?
• Am I doing THIS because I believe I am incapable of doing what I really want?
• Is there a problem with my attitude about working that gets in my way?
• Am I realistic about my work goals?
Social:
• Do I have an adequate social support system?
• Is there a piece missing for me socially?
• Do I enjoy my friends or are they people I socialize with because I can't meet the kind of people I would like to?
• Am I lonely?
• Am I a GOOD friend to others?
Intimate Relationships:
• Am I satisfied with the men/women I date?
• Am I meeting the kind pf person I would like to connect with?
• Do I exhibit attitudes or behaviors that prevent me from meeting and dating appropriate people?
• Do I really want to be in a long-term committed relationship?
• How would I feel if I never met “the right one”?
Spiritual:
• Do I believe in God or a higher power?
• Is this an important aspect of my life?
• Do I believe that my potential mate must share my beliefs in this area?
Financial:
• Do I earn an adequate amount of money to satisfy my basic needs/wants?
• How important to my happiness is money?
• Will the earning power of my potential mate be very important in my decision about who that person will be?
As you can see from this list of questions; your general self-awareness flows over into ALL aspects of your life. Therefore, knowing yourself impacts every part of your being.
I encourage you to ask yourself these questions, add new ones to the list, and keep probing until you have explored the deepest parts of who you are and where you want to go.
Q. My sense of self at work is good. However, I seem to be clueless when it comes to friendships and intimate relationships. Is this common? What can I do about it?
A. Actually, many people report that their professional selves are well known to them. They can discuss their strengths, weaknesses and long term goals with good clarity and a fair acceptance of who they are when in their work environment. This may not apply to everyone all the time; however it is generally so. These same people often report that they struggle with who they are, what they want and where they are going, outside of work. This is due to the fact that we often have differing levels of self-awareness that go along with our different roles. There will always be parts of our personalities that we see clearly in all aspects of our lives; but others can remain elusive, confusing or just unknown.
Raising our relationship self-awareness requires placing more focus on this particular area. Your job requires that you look hard at your strengths and weaknesses and evaluates you on how well you work to improve the problem areas. There is little opportunity for this in relationships. Our “rewards” are success in creating healthy, happy connections. Therefore, you need to do your own evaluation. Work with the questions. Move on to more difficult ones as you answer each. Taking risks such as asking others for their feedback could offer additional insights and learning.
Q. How do I know if I'm answering my own questions honestly?
A. Self-deception is a trap that we all have to work to avoid. As you ask yourself each question, reflect as far back as you can to all past relationships. Examine each answer carefully and challenge yourself by looking at your answers from both a positive and a NEGATIVE viewpoint. Make sure you also do an inventory of past relationships in general. Were they healthy? Do they still exist or how did they end? Did /do you feel satisfied with them? What feedback did/do you get from friends and significant others about yourself? Work to be honest with yourself. The answers are within you.