Blue Hope Insomniac

Sex and Emotions after Weight Loss

2013-08-19T14:27:00.000-07:00

Sex and Emotions After WLS

2013-08-19T14:12:00.003-07:00

1 Pair of Pants, 3 Budget Friendly Plus Size Looks

2013-08-17T22:15:00.002-07:00

How To Save Your Hair After Weight Loss Surgery

2013-08-17T22:14:00.004-07:00

Rite Aid Coupon Haul

2013-08-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

7 Months Post Op Gastric Sleeve: Showing My Sagging Skin

2013-08-17T22:13:00.003-07:00

Goodie.Co Taster's Box August 2013

What I Ate Today...

2013-01-17T02:21:00.000-08:00

This is an example of my meals today 1 Month Post Op Gastric Sleeve Surgery or VSG.

1 Month Post Op VSG (Gastric Sleeve) Protein Food Haul

2013-01-17T02:19:00.001-08:00

As Gastric Sleeve Patients we MUST live by the protein code. These are a few things I picked up today at the grocery store:

Feel free to place any of your ideas for more protein in the comment section.

Pre Op VSG

2012-10-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

My Sleep Study Experience

2012-10-14T09:26:00.002-07:00

Why I Chose Weight Loss Surgery with PCOS

2012-10-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Gastric Bypass and Sleep Apnea

2012-10-08T09:55:00.004-07:00

Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy LABS

2012-10-08T09:50:00.001-07:00

Should Weight Loss Surgery Be Kept A Secret and Who Would You Tell?

2012-10-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

Being left behind….

2012-09-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

I remember one day I decided to forgive my parents for not earning their titles, for leaving me behind and all of that jazz. Pops goes he stays out of my way and he doesn’t push, I guess because my grandmother is a go between or our personal translator. As far as my mother is concerned she just won’t quit. She just pushes all the time and I do not like to be pushed. I hate to see the dreaded little red notification of like a evelope on Facebook that lets you know you have a message. Nine times out of ten it is her saying, “call me”. That really sets off my anxiety. I go through the what is it because it is not going to be a pleasant conversation or none of that. I call anyway for the simple fact it may be about my brother. It never is it’s always some convoluted ploy to get on my nerves.

She usually says the same thing like have you talked to 145367963 people that I don’t care about and they don’t care about me. I know I sound cold but when you have been abandoned by the people who promised to love you the most it’s kinda hard to be warm for those people. Others I have plenty of compassion for, but I just do not have any attachment to them. Most of my life I had no feelings. Like I was numb. I went through life like a blur. If it wasn’t for a calendar or Jack McCall telling the news in the morning I wouldn’t know or care what day it was. Then I met my husband then came my daughter then I got “my life”.

So I call. Are you coming up here? For the millionth time no. I don’t like going to strange places. I bet you say, but that is your mother, and I say to that…I don’t know her like that. She says, call your brother, I say why. He’s not talking to me. I’m thinking I wouldn’t be either but I don’t want my days shortened. Me: “Why isn’t he talking to you? Her: because I won’t stop smoking and drinking beer d he says that’s what killed our uncle(her brother). Me: Ok, what is your decision? Her: well ya’ll can’t force me to quit cold turkey. Me: talk to your doctor and get some patches maybe. Me thinking to myself (You owe it to him anyway (my brother) for several reasons I am not mentioning) Her: well if ya’ll keep pressuring me I’m not going to do it. Me…..Have a great day….

Liquid Diet Day 1--A Success!

2012-08-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

59 DWLJ-Day-18 My Hair,What I'm Taking, Atkins,Low Carb....

2012-07-18T14:40:00.002-07:00

*******DISCLAIMER READ ME FIRST*********
I got the kit at http://www.atkins.com/ it's called a starter kit. I was not paid or sponsored to share this information.
Get the daily hookup at Groupon:http://www.groupon.com/r/uu44268718
Free Tracking at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ they have an app, barcode scanner and best of all it's FREE!

You can get the Walker Diet Meal Replacement Shake at: http://vitacost.com/ is my fave place for health. Shop thru my link and get $10 off! http://bit.ly/rGzyDV
Use these options at your own risk. This is why I keep saying listen to your body. I was asked what options I have used before consult your physician before using any of these options.

Body Shot OOTD......Plus Size Weight Loss Swag.....

2012-07-16T20:30:00.002-07:00

Freetress Equal 100% Human Hair Wig - Kay

2012-07-11T18:06:00.004-07:00

*******DISCLAIMER READ ME FIRST*********

I got the Kay wig in color #1 at: http://www.superbeautydepot.com/.
http://www.superbeautydepot.com/Freetress-Equal-100-Human-Hair-Wig-Kay-p/sgwhkay.htm

I purchased this wig for my own use with my own funds and was not paid for this review.

Need the hookup on protein shakes and supplements check: http://vitacost.com/ is my fave place for health. Shop thru my link and get $10 off! http://bit.ly/rGzyDV
.

Vanessa Fifth Avenue Collection Synthetic Wig - Meela HAWT to DEF HAIR!

2012-07-11T18:05:00.003-07:00

*******DISCLAIMER READ ME FIRST*********
I got the Meela wig in color #1 at: http://www.superbeautydepot.com/. http://www.superbeautydepot.com/Vanessa-Fifth-Avenue-Collection-Synthetic-Wig-p/vsnmeela.htm

I purchased this wig for my own use with my own funds and was not paid for this review.

Need the hookup on protein shakes and supplements check: http://vitacost.com/ is my fave place for health. Shop thru my link and get $10 off! http://bit.ly/rGzyDV
.

Influenster Summer Beauty VoxBox 2012 (Unboxing)!!!

2012-07-09T12:45:00.002-07:00

More information at: http://www.influenster.com/
ANYONE can sign up, answer questions, get your own badges, & get free stuff!
Everything is free including the shipping!!
FTC** Influenster sent me this Vox Box for free, but ANYONE can register and receive free stuff if you qualify! I'm not affiliated or sponsored by Influenster or any of the companies mentioned in this video. This is NOT sponsored. All opinions are mine only, I am not paid for this review. I received each product complimentary for testing purposes from Influenster.

59 Day Weight Loss Day 4: I can't see for the Sweat Courtsey of Jillian Michaels Fast Fix!

2012-07-05T15:21:00.001-07:00

I hardly ever take these sweaty workout pics but I couldn't see for the sweat pouring off of me! I did Jillian Michael's Fast Fix Workout 1 today and was amazed! People know I've been fighting Jillian for the longest but the truth is she gets results!!!

The Experiment

2012-07-01T22:47:00.001-07:00

Ok so I will be doing an experiment over the next 59 days… The experiment is doing the final portion before my transformation. I will be making videos about the contents of the experiment. What I will be doing is working a plan and sharing my thoughts on it. It is a plan I made for myself because I have to have some accountability with my weight loss. Some people don’t like scales, counting calories, working out or none of those things but expect maximum results for minimum effort. I don’t understand that personally so to each its own.

Why not share the contents publicly on YouTube? Well I have shared every aspect of my journey publicly, but for the past 8 months I have not gotten the support that I was accustomed too. I have been getting nothing but sneers and jeers and I don’t know why. I also do not want much feedback on what I am doing at this time. I will be working out in my sauna pants (not the top), and sleeping in a compression suit. I did the sauna pants early in my journey and got away from it somehow. I am taking this time to focus on myself.

At times when I share my true feelings people take it the wrong way then when they spew their venom they say well it’s a public forum so that is why I am sharing here where I feel I can share without bias or worrying about who I will offend. So you are welcome to take the ride with me, let’s do it!

Moving on to the Next Phase....

2012-06-29T06:45:00.001-07:00

At what point in life do you move to the next phase? Is it when you feel you are not making a difference or do you go where you are led? I am a natural nurturer so that means I need to take care of things, help people, or serve where the need is great. When I was a little girl I always wanted to be a social advocate to help people. I want people to know they have options to become the best person they can be. I started making YouTube videos of my weight loss journey to help people to understand that with determination and passion you can get healthy and achieve any of your goals.

Some try to be all dramatic, some want to put a mask over obesity, and some want to act like being unhealthy is just the way of life. To me it is more than just weight loss, it is about education, loving yourself, sharing and caring for yourself and others. When I started sharing my videos it was so much love, sharing, caring and information being shared. I felt there was a true camaraderie being built; we were fighting the fight and winning. Then the climate changed. The true crusaders were being silenced by hecklers, bets were being taken to see who would fail, and there was a small percentage trying to persecute those who really cared. Some of the foot soldiers retired, some are trying to hang on, and some fell by the wayside.

I will continue to make videos but I can admit I do get tired of the hecklers, the kitchen shrinks, and the people that just try to abort your mission. Losing 120 lbs lets me know that I am resilient so I will continue to fight a good fight. I do however; know when to move on so I will be blogging more and vlogging less publicly. I have a lot to say and I am going to say it.

Natural Appetite Suppressant

2012-06-28T14:50:00.003-07:00