Remember when dad told you not to smoke when you were a kid because it would stunt your growth? Well, that same message applies here. Google may not have been as successful if they decided to call themselves “Searches -n- Links & Other Things Too.”

10. Punny Busines
9. Placing the Name
8. Name Diarrhea
7. Thy Neighbors Name
6. Dead on Arrival
5. Kool Namez
4. Xtracted E
3. N ‘n’ R Us
2. Stuff and Things
1. Is that a name in your pocket?

It’s very telling that, in the battle of the “big box” domestic merchandise retail chains, Bed Bath and Beyond survives while Linen -n- Things went bye-bye. Also, the movie Click would not have made as much sense if Adam Sandler had acquired up his all-powerful remote control from Christopher Walken in a “way linen” closet at LnT.

From my play blog cavworld.net.

A generous tip o’ the chapeaux to BrandFlakes for Breakfast.

Foursquare Etiquette from Charlie Wollborg on Vimeo.

So we’re rebranding on the fly. It’s the fastest way to get it done, and you might get a kick out of watching. Then again, you might have better things to do. We understand.

Don’t worry. Anything you miss will be on the making-of video we’re producing. We won’t be posting it on YouTube or anywhere else online. It will only be released on Super-8 motion picture film or, perhaps, Betamax.

Or not at all. Too many of those darn things out in the world anyway.

Many years later, I had another moment that has stuck with me. I was in a restroom at Chandra Bose International Airport in Calcutta when a mangy, battle-weary black-and-white cat sauntered under the partition and into the stall. The poor devil had a big fat tick feeding off him at his haunches. The cat then proceeded to rub himself all over my bare shins. Being somewhat indisposed at the time, there was little to do to avoid this short of kicking him, and that’s not the sort of thing I do. I spent the next 20 minutes standing in front of a sink with my pants off trying to wash my lower legs with powdered airport soap, much to the consternation of my fellow travelers. Luckily, I had another pair of trousers in my carry-on. I did not want to spend my flight to Delhi itching and scratching due to a bad case of kitty cooties.

In many ways, this ad reminds me of that feline encounter of the icky kind. You see, I will remember it forevermore, and not because the layout looks like a Technicolor yawn, or because of the trite, just-got-my-bachelors headline with accompanying see-say visual. No, it’s because the masters of the universe behind this obviously-groundbreaking product (what if we made an athletic shoe with springs in the heel? Genius, I tell you!) decided that a spermatozoa was going be their Nike swoosh.

I don’t think I could forget this if I joined the French Foreign Legion.

I have to love ‘im for this as well:

These were both shot in situ in their respective spaces on adjacent pumps at a RaceTrac gas station in West Palm Beach. (This was last week, so I have no idea how long they plan to go with the “New Year’s Resolution” theme.)

I love how the "bad girl" is in South Beach but has brought her own decadent convenience store treats with her.

And, hey! Why not use the same "apropos of nothing" image to sell smokeless tobacco? Genius!

But the fact remains that we bought it despite this ad in the January 18, 2010 issue of People magazine. Why? Because the main visual makes the product look like cheap, private-label cat food. All that’s missing is a little gelatinous film around the edges. Sure, I read the ad and realized that it is, in actuality, yummy low-calorie chocolate mousse. By then the damage was done, however.

If it wasn’t for our long–and mostly positive–experience with the Jell-O brand, I promise you we would’ve passed on this, big-time.

Boar’s Head. How I love and hate thee.

Back when I taught aspiring young copywriters, this was one of my ongoing refrains. Such it continues to be that when I see something like this–on a PIN pad at the Ikea in Tampa–it jumps out at me. It’s as if the pad assumes I not only have a secret PIN, but also one that I give out to strangers.