Dick-n-Jane.com: One Sexy Couple's Sex Blog

Revealing The Hardware (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 25 May 2012 15:12:00 +0000

In 1993 when Lorena Bobbit caused men everywhere to cross their legs and wince, I had a brief (and awkwardly unusual) conversation with my mother about the news. I jokingly told her what would bother me most about having a "lost and found" penis like John Bobbit's is not knowing where my penis had been. Or who had seen it.

Nearly 20 years later I find that my own penis is making the rounds... and I really have no idea who has seen it.

Thankfully, it is still attached to me (*whew*) but its likeness has been appearing in blogs around the interwebs and I have only myself to blame... I took the pictures and I posted them online. The proverbial "cock shot" is not really my style (really!) but I have been making an effort to show off the hardware which so often adorns my package. Jane would probably tell you I'm just using the cock rings as an excuse to step out and wag it around... but I digress.

Uploading an explicit picture of yourself is not unlike the initial reveal in a new relationship; there is a thrill factor but it is tempered by fear of rejection. "What will she think? Will she like it? Will she want to cut it off?"

Mostly, the reaction of our readers has been positive. (Actually, there has been nothing negative that I know about... let's keep it that way, shall we?) My most recent cock shot was almost immediately reblogged by a Tumblr blog named Fat Cocks (*blushes*). Gosh, really? And with comments like "looks really sexy" and "what a beautiful cock!" it brings warmth to both my heart and my groin. Gear Essentials reposted it and our good sex-blog-friend Lady Cheeky chimed in with reblogs on Tumblr and comments on Facebook like "STUNNING" (her CAPS, not mine). Are you getting all of this Jane? ;o)

But perhaps my personal reveal is not as rare as I'd like to believe... as I scroll back through our personal pictures on this site it seems there are quite a few of me which leave little to the imagination. Although, one of the very first pictures I posted of my dick online was showing off a cock ring, of sorts. It might have been in bad taste, but it sure looked tasty!

A warning to you gents... if your dick is going to be shown around by someone else, you don't want it to be a lawyer. And you definitely don't want it to look like this!

Sorry about all the Dick pics guys. Here, clear your palette with a picture of Jane's ass and have a nice day!

Mid-Week Escape to the Mountains - Part 2 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 17 May 2012 20:52:00 +0000

It was nearly dark when we arrived in a fog of light rain. The intimate resort was set snugly among Pine trees high on a hill overlooking Rocky Mountain National Park. It's an area resplendent with wildlife... but that wasn't the kind of wild life we were after.

We both bailed on work for a couple days, left the kids with Grandma, and retreated into romantic solitude where our time was our own. We do this sometimes, maybe once a year, and it is a refreshing way to reconnect. This time we had you to thank because our luxury getaway was paid in full by this website!

In gratitude I will spare you the sappy details. Our blog's subtitle is not "One Loving Couple's Love Blog" (though it could be)... how many yawning readers would that pull in? But I will confirm the obvious for you... yes, we had sex. Lots of it. We were casually naked for much of the time, including hanging out on the outdoor patio where we sat in the hot tub, sunned ourselves, and sought sexual release.

Pictures tell a better story than I ever could and, thankfully, I had both my camera and a wife willing to help me capture our time away together. My camera has become one of my favorite sex toys and you can see the [ever growing] results of my sexual self indulgence here in our HotPics blog which is currently Google's #1 choice for Couples Erotica.

Jane wore out before it was over and waved me off on our last morning there. "Sore vagina" is not a condition relatable to the erect male organ, I'm not sure mine has that type of self-preservation feature built in. You can't keep a good penis down and on that day mine was no exception. The patio was flooded with warm morning sun and I took the opportunity to seek relief while soaking in the rays. Jane, on the other hand, took the opportunity to grab my camera. Oh my.

Now to start saving for our next sexy adventure! Anyone who would like to see pictures of Jane naked in Tahiti should visit our store: One Sexy Couple's Sex Toys :o)

Mid-Week Escape to the Mountains - Part 1 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:45:00 +0000

I posted the following status update on Facebook two days ago:

"Naked hot tubbing and naked sunbathing while looking over a valley of snow dusted pines beats work."

And I meant every word of it! Jane and I had a great mid-week getaway into the hills and discovered a really nice place to relax and unwind. It was quiet, there was little to distract us from each other, and we had no good reason to wear any clothes. It was everything our home life is not.

Our camera made the trip too and we'll be sneaking some revealing shots into our HotPics blog over the next week or so. If you miss them fly by, you can always see our photos using the special tag #dick.n.jane.com.

My clothes are back on now (drats!) and I had a full day of catching up at work today (double drats!) but Jane and her sexy affections are still with me. As I write this it is late, Jane is in bed, and I'm wondering why this keyboard is still getting my attention. More on our romantic retreat later... I have a naked hottie waiting for me!

A Very Personal Protest (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 17:38:00 +0000

The last time we flew to Mexico I had a good sized stainless steel cock ring in my carry on bag and I wondered what might happen when I went through airport security and customs during our International flight. Nothing, that's what happened. It probably lit up like neon on the x-ray screen... it didn't look dangerous (apparently) but it wasn't of interest either. That or the screeners just didn't want to go there.

I just got a new hunk of man steel that's even heftier than the last... it weighs in at a half pound and adorns my package like some private ornament of sexual self indulgence. Our local airport has body scanners now and the wheels of juvenile defiance are spinning in my head.

Airport security measures have become unbalanced in their cost-benefit risk analysis and have now reached beyond personal boundaries previously reserved for our doctors. Protests seem to be escalating... from Thanksgiving Day refusals for body scans, to videotaped threats of arrest "if you touch my junk", to stripping fully naked! Both the modest and immodest have had enough.

I almost want to buy a plane ticket just so I can go through airport security with my new cock ring set snugly around the base of my immodest cock. It certainly would not change any policies but it could change someone's day at work. I imagine the conversation as I step out of the body scanner...

TSA: "Sir, please step over here", motioning to the pat-down area.
ME: "Yes, sir".
TSA: "Uh... what is that? In your pants".
ME: "Eight ounces of stainless steel confidence, sir".
TSA: "Is there a reason you are wearing it today?"
ME: "Don't worry, I won't terrorize the pilot with it. But the stewardess... that could be a different story".
TSA: "Please remove it".

At which point I reach down my unbuttoned pants with both hands, remove the steel ring, and place its warm weight in the blue gloved hands of the TSA. I'll let the poor agent hold onto it while the body scanner takes a second look at everything south of my smug grin.

A Brief Timeout (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 03:22:00 +0000

Warning; This blog post is completely off topic.

We got a question today through our Contact Us form from a woman we don't know named Susan...

"Just wondering if everything is going okay? It's been awhile since you've updated.. and I miss it."

You're right Susan, we have not posted in awhile and the short answer to your question is "no"... everything is not ok.

We're not having relationship problems if that's what you are thinking, the long answer is that my single father is aging in a very ungraceful way and transitioning quickly from independent to demented at scary speed. My discretionary time has evaporated... at a time when demands at work are also at a peak. It's a perfect, stressful storm.

I won't apologize for our absence or ask for understanding, to do so would suggest we owe something to our readers... which we don't. This blog is solely for us, though we readily welcome and appreciate any like minded followers. The fact that we have been missed is genuinely touching and we would like to assure everyone who has read this far that we will be posting again soon.

The struggles I have faced in recent months have underscored the incredible value of my relationship with Jane who supports me at every difficult turn. Marriage, or even monogamy, does not suit everyone (to include my aging and lonely father) but it has proven itself invaluable to me over the many years of my commitment to Jane. We have our struggles; we disagree, we fight, we drift apart at times... but when it really matters she is there for me in a loving way no one else could be. She is my center. Thank you Jane.

For the rest of you... I make no promises, but life has a way of correcting itself and we should be back on track soon. The fact that you find our lives interesting enough to follow surprises us sometimes, we are both flattered and encouraged. We have drifted away from this blog a bit... but we are committed to it and the sexy fun it represents.

Nine Was The Magic Number (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:13:00 +0000

The duration of men's sexual response is limited by orgasmic exhaustion; one, two, three, or four in a single night and we've had it... there are limits to a male's physiological capacity to reach orgasm without sufficient rest in between.

Women, on the other hand, seem limited only by physical exhaustion; one orgasm is a warm up, two is getting there, and three is a decent night.

The height of sexual arousal in women is sustainable and, for many, orgasm is as much a driver of further arousal as it is a release of sexual energy. It's like the impossible perpetual motion machine where each cycle feeds the next with its own self-generated momentum.

It's been a while (like since our seeds took root)... but there was a time when Jane and I would spend full days languishing naked in bed together, exploring our sexual likes and limits. In repeated acts which were equally selfless and selfish, I used every means imaginable to drive Jane into orgasm after orgasm.

Eventually Jane's peaks of climax would merge into a steady, unending sexual plateau that took hold of her entire body in an erotic coup of her own self-governance. Unable to control her response and unable to resist my attention, every touch (any touch) would send her reeling into whole body contractions epicentered blissfully in her pelvis.

A kiss on the neck, a hand on her breast, anything... she'd have a full blown orgasm and come out of it primed for the next. She was an endless orgasm machine with a hair trigger and I was her cause to tremble.

There is a seductive power in this level of control and I knew just how many successive orgasms it took to render Jane sexually helpless... nine was the magic number. Once she hit the ninth peak it was a steady and effortless roll from one to another.

We've aged a bit since then and our bodies speak to each other in whole new ways, but I'll bet Jane would still respond just as well to the magic nine. And now I have a plan for the weekend.

What about you?

A Solid Investment (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:20:00 +0000

Jane and I stole a little time for each other this morning, atypical for a Tuesday morning, and before the fun began I grabbed a trusted and reliable tool from the nightstand. Its battery is never dead, it doesn't get in the way, and it does little more than assist me in giving Jane her favorite thing... a deep dicking with that extra hardness she loves.

Of course, Jane would also tell you the hefty curves of my Stainless Steel Cock Ring do wonders for her clit when we're positioned face to face. The ring runs atop the base of my dick and circles down behind my balls, giving them a gentle lift which brings them into the action too.

Sex products marketed to men consist mainly of masturbatory devices, I was pleased to acquire one which helps me enjoy sex with Jane rather than without her. I bought my ring years ago (before this website started bringing in free sex toy review samples) and I don't regret a dime of it. We have an intimidating toy collection these days but my favorite personal accessory, hands down, is my Stainless Steel cock ring from Gear Essentials.

Holy CRAP, Her Hands Are Cold! (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:18:00 +0000

Jane's hands do not benefit from the modern convenience of central heat. Three seasons out of four her touch is a shivering cold that seems to channel the icy chill of Narnia's White Witch.

They are inexplicably linked to the weather outdoors, completely independent of our home's thermostat. It's cold and snowy where we live right now but it's cozy inside with a fire in the fireplace... and still, her hands are cold. It is like she has two 5-fingered weather stations at the end of her sleeves. "Honey, do I need to wear a sweater today? Come here and let me feel your hands".

We slide into bed at the end of the day and the icicles she calls fingers gravitate to the warmest thing they can find; one hand wraps around the shaft, the other cups the sack. Out of self preservation, my balls immediately retract up into my chest. But hey, I can't complain... she has my dick in her hands!

C-c-come on s-s-summer, where the hell are y-y-you?

Hand Job Techniques: Part One - Basic Skills For Him

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 19:12:00 +0000

click to view our handjob video

We are turning up the heat here at Dick-n-Jane.com with a revealing new series of videos intended to demonstrate some basic skills for pleasing your partner.

Handjobs were chosen for this series because we believe the hands' versatility make them an exceptional sex tool capable of producing the most intense physical sexual response.

First up... six simple handjob strokes to leave him breathless and begging for more. If you see something new here, try adding it to your routine. If these strokes are already familiar to you, take this as a reminder to regularly incorporate great variety.

- View our handjob video here -

The Hungry Squid - A gentle, warm-up stroke... five fingers teasing the tip to get his full attention.

Poll Climber - Successive, alternate handed strokes in a singular direction. If his eyes are closed he'll swear he's being swallowed up by an endless vagina.

Meat Roll - Back handed with a twist of the wrist, this is a great stroke for full sensation on his shaft.

Top Stroke - Gently stretches the penile ligament, feels great on the shaft, and as her hands pull up and over the glans he gets a very pleasurable zing.

The Hitchhiker - Basic stroke familiar to all men who have masturbated but her angle places a thumb right under the frenulum which is a quick ride to orgasmville.

Magic Thumbs - Another thumb adds more pressure, more friction, and more intensity to the frenulum. She can also provide a more complete grip and tighter squeeze to the shaft than with a one handed stroke.

Click here to view our video here on Dick-n-Jane.com. You may also view it on X-Tube or RedTube where you can also find embed code should you choose to share the video on another blog or website.

The best technique you can bring to the bedroom is a playful willingness to experiment and have fun. We really hope these tips inspire you to find your own new favorites... go get started!

Looking Back on 2011 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 23:28:00 +0000

Jane and I have something new and fun slated to start in January, a short series that involves a lot more than just simple blogging... we're excited about it and hope you'll make a point to visit again in a few weeks to check out the first episode. That's all I will say on the topic.

In the meantime, and to buy us a little time during the busy holiday, we've put together a year-end highlights reel. You know, like when TV shows produce a flashback episode because the filming budget ran out. What follows are our favorite moments and recommended reads from the past year, find your sexy favorites and leave comments to let us know how we're doing.

Weekend Away Series - We took a little weekend trip but stayed here in the city. As is the case for any of our series, read from the bottom up!

Hot or Not Series - We had fun playing a little game with each other and were glad to share it with our readers. Be sure to vote for all your favorites!

Picked up a new sexy affiliation - Pornographic Love is a really hot new site featuring a committed couple like ourselves. We love their work and think you will too!

Introduced the Sex & Relationship Expert Panel - There are countless unqualified bloggers answering sex questions online, we know because we were two of them! Now we have some help from distinguished professionals in the field of Sex & Relationships. Ask your toughest questions... go ahead!

Unveiled our new Toy Store - This was a very exciting addition to our site, the Dick-n-Jane branded sex toy store! Whatever you want, whatever you need (lube refill?), consider our shop... it helps us keep the site running.

Top Sex Bloggers of 2011 - We were honored to make Rori Sweet's Top 100 Sex Bloggers list again this year. We've climbed to #11 on the list and are thrilled to be alongside some really top notch sex blogs!

Sexiest Blogs of 2011 - Red Region Inferno's Sexiest Blog list named us again as "One of the best all around personal style sex themed blogs online". Wow, that's quite a reputation to live up to... stay tuned while we do that and more!

Hit #1 "Couples Sex Blog" - All major Search Engines agree, Dick-n-Jane.com is the #1 most relevant "couples sex blog" on Google, Yahoo, and Bing. This was a major SEO achievement for us.

Started another photo blog: Hotel Sex - As a side project, because Dick notices the background in porn as much as the lusty bodies, Hotel Sex catalogs what goes on behind closed hotel room doors.

Wrote some mild sexy humor - Dick's tongue, it seems, is either exploring Jane's folds or planted firmly in his cheek. Humor seasons this blog, check it out for yourself.

Added some sexy pics of ourselves - We're getting a little looser with the camera and you can see it in our blog. Find pictures of us here on the sex blog and even more over in Hot Pics.

Happy Holidays to you, we hope you have a festive couple weeks and we'll see you here again (for some brand new sexy fun) in 2012!

Hot or Not Poll #5: From Behind (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

By popular demand, we are pleased to present the continuation of our "Hot or Not Poll" series! We find these animated GIF's while trolling Tumblr for the best couples erotica, if you want a little more back-story you should check out the first poll: Hot or Not Poll #1: Penis and Vagina.

This episode's theme is "From Behind" and features couples... well, I don't really need to explain it, do I? There is certainly kinkier sex to be found online, but these erotic couples scenes are all super hot, good luck picking your favorites!

I know you want to VOTE HERE for ALL these sexy GIF's, but try to limit yourself to five or six. Click the pictures to see the animated GIF's. Have fun!

A Debt of Gratitude (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:26:00 +0000

Freddy & Eddy

I recently sent a long overdue email.

As a blogger, I have come to appreciate the value (and rewards) of feedback. Out of the blue, I get private messages with personal stories of relationship successes and improved sexual experiences attributed to this website... they always surprise me.

It was my turn to share a personal experience, to share with the creator of another website how my life had been influenced by their work. I should have done this sooner.

Dear Ian and Alicia – Back in the summer of 2007, Jane and I went through a sexual upswing (mostly due to Jane’s rediscovery of her libido), we opened to each other in ways we had not previously, and our relationship walked through a new door. There was a small handful of podcasts and websites that were central to the dialogues which brought new light to our marriage back then... and freddyandeddy.com was one of them.

We read your site, we bought products from your store, and Jane was very inspired by each of your personal stories. So inspired, that she registered a domain name (dick-n-jane.com) and told me to get to work on a website, she wanted to be like you!

A year later I finally got around to it and we debuted the site in August of 2008. Since then we’ve grown a bit and are among the more popular personal sex blogs online which, in our corner of the Internet, is not bad for a long-term monogamous couple! We even have our own “store” which is really just an affiliate outlet.

I’m not sure what took so long, but I just found you two on Facebook and it reminded me that I owe you both a debt of gratitude. We have a more vibrant sex life than we used to, we have a fun outlet for sexy dialogue, and a little extra income... thanks to the inspiring stories you chose to openly share with your readers.

I hope this message finds you both well!

This correspondence is being shared with you, reader of Dick-n-Jane, in the hope you may find words of inspiration from Ian and Alicia as well (website).

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 15:55:00 +0000

She's done it again... Sweet Rori over at Between My Sheets has once again compiled a list of her Top 100 Sex Blogs for the year! There were more than 200 blogs nominated this year and it takes months of work for her to review them all. Her annual effort is truly amazing.

How did Dick-n-Jane.com do this year? Number 11, that's up from #37 on last year's list and now in the top 5% of all sex blogs nominated. But don't trust Rori, check out her list of Top Blogs for yourself and find your own new favorites, we are in very good company.

Guy New York (@quickiesnewyork) and The Dirty Gentleman from Quickies in New York
Charlotte Times (@charlotte_times) from The Life and Charlotte Times
Kendra Holliday (@TBK365 and @beautifulkind) from The Beautiful Kind
Amie Wee (@crevicecanyon) from Crevice Canyon
Riff Dog from Ashley and Me
Catherine Toyooka (@Catcoaches) from Sex Spoken Here: Secrets of a Sexuality Educator
Vineyard Road (@vineyardroad) from Vineyard Road
David (@DavidinVegas) from A View from the Top
Quizzical Pussy (@quizzicalpussy) from Quizzical Pussy
Athol Kay from Married Man Sex Life
Dick and Jane from Dick-n-Jane
EA (@easilyaroused) from Easily Aroused
Axe (@unspeakableaxe) from Unspeakable Axe
Joan Price (@JoanPrice) from Naked at Our Age – Better Than I Ever Expected
Oatmeal Girl (@oatmeal_girl) from Submission & Metaphor
Dark Gracie (@darkgracie) from Dark Gracie
Mistress Lilyana (@MistressLilyana) from Mistress Lilyana
Kyle Jones (@butchtastickyle) from Butchtastic
Cheeky Minx (@LoveHateSexCake) from Love Hate Sex Cake
Adam from The Mind of a Married Man
Dr. Marty Klein (@drmartyklein) from Sexual Intelligence
Lady Pandorah (@ladypandorah) from Lady Pandorah’s Sanctuary
Holly (@pervocracy) from The Pervocracy
Brooke from Puppy Tales
Lady Dragonfly (@miladydragonfly) from Lady Dragonfly
nilla (@swirlednilla) from Vanillamom’s Blog
Wilhelmina Wang (@wilhelminawang) from Heartbreak Nymphomania
Holden (@packingvocals) from Packing Vocals
25 Things from 25 Things About My Sexuality
Thumper (@thumperMN) from Denying Thumber
Kake (@poeticerotica) from Poetic Erotica
Lucas (@top2bottom) from Top to Bottom
Ms. Diane D from Bi and Large – Cuckolding with a Twist
Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross (@dodsonandross) from Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross – Sex Information Online
Kat (@shackledkat) from Prowling with Kat
The Gentle Nibbles Writing Team (@gentlenibbles) from Gentle Nibbles
Pandora (@pandorablake) from Spanked, Not Silenced
Molly (@mollysdailykiss) from Molly’s Daily Kiss
Vixen from Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen
DDD from Dick Dyke Dick
Jade (@piecesofjade) from Pieces of Jade
Jiz Lee (@jizlee) from Jiz Lee
Sin from Finding My Submission
Kris from The Phone Courtesan
SapioSlut from SapioSlut
Rockin’ (@RockinwithaCock) from Light Switch
Rachael (@rabbitwhite) from Rachel Rabbit White
Neo Dom Tom from A Bedroom Dom
Daisy Danger (@daisydanger) from The True Life Sex Adventures of Daisy Danger
Violet & Rye (@UCAppetites) from Uncommon Appetites
Kaya from Under His Hand
Lilith (@lilith9465) from Lilith Land
Lady Grinning Soul (@LadyGrinSoul) from Lady Grinning Soul
Septimus from Dirty Art by Septimus
Roxy (@sroxy) from Uncommon Curiosity
Anakin (@AnakinDarth) and Padme (@padmeamidala) from Journey to the Darkside
Dr. Charlie Glickman (@charlieglickman) from Adult Sexuality Education
Lily from theblackleatherbelt
Arabella (@askarabella) from Bombshells & Rockstars
SN from Peel It Off!
Bre from Owned, Collared, Loved
Adriana Ravenlust from Of Sex and Love
Delilah (@definingdelilah) from Defining Delilah
Arthur and Annabelle (@lustandconfused) from Lust and Confused
Lorelei (@suggestive) from Suggestive Tongue
Kitty Stryker from PurrVersatility
Mollena (@Mollena) from The Perverted Negress
Naughty Lexi from Exploits of Lexi
Karen Blue (@kissinbluekaren) from Kissing Blue Karen
Arti (@ArtiAbsinthium) from Absinthe Cocktail
Figleaf (@talkingfigleaf) from Real Adult Sex
Miranda and Aarron from The Swingers Attic
Blacksilk (@BlacksilkBlog) from Blacksilk’s Boudoir
Violet (@violetscreaming) from Screaming Violet
Ferns (@Ferns__) from Domme Chronicles
SlipperyWhnWhet (@SlipperyWhnWhet) from A Slut’s Memoir
Fruit Taster (@fruittaster) from Fruits of Libido
Mrs. Discontented (@DiscontentedMrs) from Mrs. Discontented
Aisha from Being Aisha
Ruby Ryder from Pegging Paradise
Chrystal Bougon from Better Sex Radio
Lipstick Lori (@lipsticklori) from Rarely Wears Lipstick
CarrieAnn (@CarrieAnn_) from A View from the Floor
Dangerous Lilly (@dangerouslilly) from This Could Be Dangerous
Electronic Doll (@electronic_doll) from Post Modern Sleaze
Jerome from Let’s Talk About Sex
Dusk (@dusk_in_chains) from Dusk (in chains)
Innocent Loverboy (@innocentlb) from Innocent Loverboy
RHS from The Redheaded Slut
Violet Blue (@violetblue) from Tiny Nibbles
Amy (@AnalAmy) from Anal Amy
Curvaceous Dee (@curvaceousdee) from Curvaceous Dee
Jason Stotts (@Jstotts) from Erosophia
Mistress Kay (@mistress_kay) from Kinky World
Viemoira from Cavern of the Beast
Lucid (@lucidobsession) from Lucid Obsession
♀ & sss (@sweatshopsissy) from Sweat Shop Sissy
Kat from She Makes the Rules
Yummy from Sexual Adventures of a Married Woman
YOU! – As always, I want to leave a place on this list for ALL the awesome sex bloggers out there! So please leave a comment on Between My Sheetswith your name/URL to tell us about your sexy blog!

Is It Hot To Get Caught? (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 00:31:00 +0000

Have you ever been caught masturbating? Have you ever wanted to be caught masturbating... hoping to be discovered by someone who would be more than happy to assist? Yeah, me too.

Or better, to be the one doing the catching... to walk in on your love interest in full horny hotness rubbing one out, all warmed up and aching for release? Yeah, me too.

Either I am clueless or Jane is stealthy because I have never accidentally stumbled in on her self entertainment. We have planned ahead to have me join her after a personal warm up (which is fun) but it has never happened organically with any actual surprise factor.

For a long time I could tell (after the fact) when Jane had been busy tending her own garden. I'd let her know later, teasingly, that I noticed she had some fun without me... and she always looked surprised, "how did you know"? Eventually, I reluctantly shared the clues she unknowingly left behind.

It turns me on when Jane masturbates but it's pretty clear she enjoys her privacy sometimes. One of these days, though... I'll be minding my own business, run up to our bedroom to get my wallet, and step into a steamy scene of Jane grinding her clit into the relentless vibrations of her favorite toy. On that day, I'll be more than willing to assist.

Red Bull Gives You What? (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 13:58:00 +0000

original image found here

Jane was in a haze. She arrived home from an overnight shift just in time to leave again for a kids' soccer game followed by a track meet. It was more than 24 hours since she had slept and her eyes were beginning to roll around in her head. Fatigue can feel like inebriation and Jane was getting there fast.

On the soccer field sidelines, I set down my folding chair next to Jane's and asked her to hold my can of Red Bull while I got settled. As I unfolded my chair I noticed Jane gazing with half open eyes at the can which she had wrapped her fingers completely around.

Jane is a proper lady; she's pretty, she's polite, and she reserves her inner vixen for the bedroom. She caught me completely off guard when she said, with both her parents and our kids present, "Well, that's a good size"... in obvious reference to the can's circumference.

Her inner vixen shone through at a very unexpected moment, encouraged by a lack of inhibition (and judgement) in the daze of her worsening fatigue. The can's diameter is slightly bigger than my dick's, I found myself presented with new information about Jane's desire, and all I could do was laugh and glance awkwardly over at her mother.

I am a man of average endowment (see here) and I have never felt inadequately sized to satisfy Jane, so her proclamation brought me neither shame nor threat. I realize variety is nice and am comfortable enough to help Jane find pleasure wherever she seeks it... so I took measure of that can for future reference. It was a full 2" diameter grip that triggered Jane's fantasy trip, that's a solid 1/4" thicker than the dick she usually plays with.

Later that same day... I was doing the week's grocery shopping, while Jane rested at home, and decided to check the produce department for its selection of Nature's original dildos. Cucumbers are far cheaper than silicone, are earth-friendly, inconspicuous, and can be enjoyed by the whole family (and dinner guests) once you're fully satisfied!

Jane's new, well endowed toy was personally delivered to our home in a discrete brown [shopping] bag. She washed it seductively with soap and water while I watched before cutting it in half with a knife (ouch!). It seems Jane is not really turned on by produce. Energy drinks, though... they are still in question.

Weekend Away in the City - Part 5 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 18:44:00 +0000

image found on DifferentVideos.info

We were in our favorite position and I was actively thrusting balls deep into a gasping Jane when there was a knock at the door followed by a muffled voice from the hallway... "Room Service".

When your job is to deliver food and drinks into the guest rooms of consenting adults you can never be sure what might greet you when the lock clicks and the door swings open. That morning it was me, a disheveled man in a hotel bathrobe with an obvious hard-on threatening to part his robe like a stage show's headliner stepping out through the curtain.

Room Service was a bit earlier than Jane or I had expected, I waved him in and pointed him to the sitting room. The night before was a fun one and we hadn't really cleaned up. There was an empty wine bottle and dirty glasses but what caught my eye immediately was his careful step over Jane's leopard print panties on the floor.

Regrettably, he passed up open space on the desk and aimed the breakfast filled tray toward the coffee table which was strewn with playing cards depicting sexual acts. Space was limited on the coffee table so he used the side of the food tray to awkwardly slide my bulky steel cock ring out of the way.

"Are they taking good care of you up here?" he asked me three times without ever hearing my answer. He was obviously uncomfortable with the transaction and left quickly as soon as the receipt was signed. I'm sure he expected a gratuity but not anything quite so gratuitous.

We were not embarrassed by the unexpectedly early intrusion but I think he sure was. Hopefully, it gave him a good story to tell... everyone loves a good story.

Weekend Away in the City - Part 4 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 01:57:00 +0000

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It's on the "Top 5 Favorite Things in the Whole Fucking World" list for all men who have ever woken up from sleeping... it's The Slow, Morning Blowjob.

Of all the ways there are to start a day (and there are a few), having the sap sucked out of his morning wood is about the best any guy could hope for. Sunday morning, that guy was me.

There was no dog pacing to go outside, no cats climbing on us expecting to be fed, no kids wondering where breakfast was, and no brothers tormenting their sister just to see how loud she could protest. It was a quiet morning in our hotel room. The rising sun bathed us in soft light, the down comforter and pillows felt like clouds, and when Jane's mouth found my cock I think I heard angels sing. (ok, it may have been the squeaky elevator next to our room but let's not split hairs here)

Truthfully, this blog post is little more than an excuse to post a picture of Jane sucking my dick. We've been together 18 years and the picture is the first of its kind. I like it and I want to see it whenever I pull up the site. Maybe with some encouragement we could all convince her to let me take some more, eh?

Weekend Away in the City - Part 3 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 02:03:00 +0000

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We live life in the fast lane... but we're doing it driving a minivan. Our suburban lives are crazy hectic with homework, school projects, little league, soccer, gymnastics, track meets... (I'll stop there, I'm getting tired thinking about it). Oh, and we work multiple jobs.

Sex is a recreation which gets pushed to the margins and becomes more about the release than the journey. The lives we live are more about our kids than they are about ourselves, so goes parenthood.

The best sex for us is not in the fast lane, it happens when we step out, slow down, and take time to breath each other in. Hours spent focused on each other does wonders for later exchanges between the sheets.

Anal fun takes more dedicated warm-up than typical quickie sex and our occasional weekend retreats provide the perfect setting for back door playtime. Jane brought along her leather harness and silicone dildo, to satisfy both my ass and her lust for power, and I went prepared to introduce Jane's anal desires to a new toy hand crafted by Boris & Doris (find their store here).

Without a doubt, our best orgasms happen when there is something in our asses, it's just that little something extra that nudges us over the top into quivering, orgasmic bliss. It took us a long time, and the shedding of some early-learned inhibitions, to figure this out. The added pleasure boost really should play a larger role in our sex lives together... we just need the extra time and attention to make it happen.

If you have not ventured into anal play we can recommend it as both a feel-good experience and an intimacy builder. Not to mention that it is the great sexual equalizer!

Weekend Away in the City - Part 2 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 05:31:00 +0000

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It takes batteries but it doesn't vibrate, it doesn't penetrate anything and I can't stick my dick in it, but I have an unlikely new toy that is climbing the ranks on my short list of favorite sex toys. My camera.

Jane and I escaped family life for a sexy weekend away, we weren't far from home mileage-wise but we got there on our bikes, so the 15 miles was enough to create a sense of isolation from home. We relied on our feet to take us out to eat and to shop, the slower pace was a refreshing break.

Everything we had with us was carried on our backs or in panniers on my bike, so we traveled light and packed only the essentials... which included:

Stainless Steel Cock Ring	Sex Is Fun The Game
Liberator Blindfold	Unpredictable
Eroscillator	Playing with Fire
The Orion (from Boris & Doris)	Coconut Oil
Leather Harness	Liquid Silk
Vixskin Tex	Sexy Boots
Fishnet Body Stocking	Mini Skirt
Genital Massage DVD's	Cialis (not that I need it!)

Okay, maybe we over packed but you never know what you might want in the throws of passion! Most of this stuff got good use but the one item I carried along which brought home the most memories was my camera. It's not a high quality piece of equipment but it does the trick... which are characteristics true of most sex toys on the market.

Jane and I are fairly new to the whole naked sex picture thing... the presence of the camera can still be a distraction and we're somewhere in the "you're not going to post that online, are you?" phase. Despite that, you can find a few pictures of us here on the sex blog and even more over in Hot Pics (though there is a bit of an overlap). Check us out, comment, share, reblog, whatever... just be kind, we're entering a new space and we're doing it naked!

Weekend Away in the City - Part 1 (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 23:21:00 +0000

I'd follow her anywhere... tucked away in that unassuming backpack was a crotch-less fishnet body stocking, leather strap-on, and black vinyl boots.

My birthday present was a weekend away in my birthday suit and it all started with a bike ride into the city. I hadn't seen the contents of the backpack, but I knew of its promise. I rode the first 3 miles with a hard-on straining against the confines of my black spandex bike shorts.

Jane and I used to ride together a lot. For a while we worked at the same place and rode our bikes to work together more than 25 miles each way, there is a 70 mile loop around town we used to like, and we participated in grueling multi-day rides just for fun. Kids change everything for new parents and we lost touch with this aspect of our lives. It felt great to get back on the saddles together.

It was about 15 miles of beautiful bike path (except the last mile) to our hotel. We had an "arrive early, leave late" package which gave us the option to check in as early as 6:00 a.m. Saturday and check out as late as 8:00 p.m. Sunday... two full days for the price of one night.

Our room was a suite with a bedroom and sitting room and was on an upper floor looking over the city. The view was nice... but we wasted no time before showering, unpacking our sexy cargo, and then working up another sweat on the way to our first round of orgasms.

There is more to this story... and there are pictures too. I'll write as time allows and will slip the occasional photo into our Hot Pics feed. Stay tuned!

In The Name Of SCIENCE! (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 03:36:00 +0000

We just got a question posed to us on our 'Ask Us' forum that is an EXCELLENT question! Someone was paying attention, noticed something interesting, and now wants to know what's going on!

It was a question from someone self identified only as "Swallower"... "Can swallowing semen affect a girl's waste output? I had been noticing some pretty potent pee lately, but couldn't make a connection between any new foods or environmental concerns. Then I noticed a correlation between swallowing and the strong smell. A day after, bingo. Am I nuts?"

We've already passed this gem onto our panel of experts and will update 'Ask Us' as soon as they have weighed in. In the meantime, I figure we can leverage the curiosity of our thousands of readers to conduct an online experiment into the metabolization of nature's original protein shake!

Pass this one on to your friends, the more data we collect the better!

Ladies: In the name of SCIENCE suck down a little (or a lot) of your man's Nad Nectar and pay close attention to your urine stream the next morning. Things that are good for you, like Asparagus and multivitamins, change the quality of your golden stream... and if semen does this too it can only mean one thing!

Everyone knows semen is packed with nutritional goodness and can cure everything from depression to headaches to wrinkles, fat, and aging and even prevent breast cancer!* What do you have to lose? Just run your little experiment for the sake of your sister ("Swallower") and report back here with your results. In fact, I recommend you run the trial at least 2 or 3 times to ensure confidence in your results.

The Morning After Swallowing My Man's Baby Gravy, My Urine Was:

Gentlemen: You're welcome! Consider improving your taste and/or buying her a toy to thank her for participating.

* don't believe everything you read online!

Hot or Not Poll #4: Her On Top (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:51:00 +0000

We are pleased to present the next episode in our [new and improved!] "Hot or Not Poll" series! We find these animated GIF's while trolling Tumblr for the best couples erotica, if you want a little more back-story you should check out the first poll: Hot or Not Poll #1: Penis and Vagina.

Jane and I have been sharing GIF's like this by Instant Message (and judging them as Hot or Not) while she works at night... hey, it kills time. Lucky for us, her night job is about to end and that implies and end to our little game. I still have a backlog stacked up so if you readers like this kind of post I could do a couple more before closing the series. Let me know in the comments if I should quit now! ;o)

I know you want to vote for ALL these sexy GIF's, but try to limit yourself to five or six. Click the pictures to see the animated GIF's. Have fun!

Hot Coffee (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 02:20:00 +0000

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How hot is your coffee?

The last time Jane had a birthday I poked around online for a gift that was personal, functional, and would plant sexy thoughts in her head nearly every day. That's a tall order. Luckily, I found something that fit the bill and also fit a Venti Latte.

Jane's "Coffee Corset" is practical and spares cardboard waste... but she uses it in her most comfortable and personal moments and it is a sexy conversation piece too!

I found it on Etsy.com and it is handmade by Jenn Gee. Jane was thrilled to get it and keeps it tucked into her purse, her Starbuck's habit fully endorsed, and her sexy persona cozily satisfied. We really like Jenn Gee's creations and if you ever contact her tell her that Dick and Jane sent you! (Thanks again Jenn!)

Jane Tries a New Position (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 05:35:00 +0000

Jane recently accepted a promotion in the medical office where she works as a nurse. It was an on-the-spot offer based on observed performance, was well deserved... and has me playing out long held nurse fantasies in my head.

She will be able to give up her other job that takes her away from home overnight twice a week and Sundays. That means a better sleep schedule, less fatigue, and more nights naked in bed with me.

When I ask her to bring home one of those sexy nurse hats from work she just rolls her eyes. And every time I mention her new position she corrects me... apparently I'm getting the emphasis wrong. "It's Head Nurse" she says, not "Head Nurse". Whatever. She's a Nurse and she gives me head, I know the truth.

The Best Things in Life Are Naked (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 05:24:00 +0000

I just celebrated another birthday, it was a fun weekend with the kids and I got some nice gifts... but tucked into a birthday card from Jane was a note for my eyes only. She has planned a weekend getaway for the two of us, no kids, no distractions, just us.

Before you assume it will be a weekend yawner of handheld walks, meaningful talks, and romantic embraces... you should take notice that it was MY birthday! Sure, there will be those warm and fuzzy things but the rest of Jane's note said she'd be packing her "Fuck You in the Ass Boots". She really knows how to deliver!

The boots are more than just boots, they are shorthand for a whole package that includes; lingerie, a strap-on, and a sexy persona that leaves me breathless (and gasping). It's a side of Jane I see far too infrequently and she's now mine for an entire, uninterrupted weekend of sexy fun.

Jane is the best birthday gift because she is what I want more than anything; her time, her attention, her desire, her shaved pussy... and her boots, her sexy fucking boots. Wish me luck, I'll fill you in later!