Dick-n-Jane.com: One Sexy Couple's Sex Blog

DRAWING: Enter to Win Sexy Fun Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:34:00 +0000

One winner will be chosen at random from all entries received before August 8th. Enter as many times as you like! The winner gets two great prizes, both are high quality labors of love by sex educator, author, blogger, podcaster, and game designer Kidder Kaper. Retail value is more than $50.

Winner gets the great game: UNPREDICTABLE
Do you ever feel like you are doing the same old routine in the bedroom? Unpredictable will get you out of that rut. Take ten minutes to sit down with your partner(s), deal each person five cards and let the fun begin. By game's end you will have determined foreplay, core-play, intercourse, and after-play. With over 50 cards to choose from and thousands of possibilities, sex has never looked so varied and spontaneous!
Watch the YouTube movie below or see a better looking version here.

Winner ALSO gets the groundbreaking book: SEX IS FUN
A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, combining the innovative look of a graphic novel with nonfiction advice and activities for fearless fun in bed.
Watch the Facebook trailer below or see a better (uncesored) version here.

HOW DOES IT WORK? (see complete rules)
Enter our drawing in any of four ways, each is worth a different number of entries.
1. Leave a Comment anywhere on Dick-n-Jane.com (1 entry)
2. Refer a friend to Dick-n-Jane.com (2 entries for you, 2 for your friend)
3. Post a link to our drawing somewhere online (5 entries)
4. Blog Roll Dick-n-Jane.com (Your blog PR x 2 entries)

Please see complete rules before entering!

Giveaway is sponsored by the good folks at:
SexIsFun.net and GreatSexGames.com

Millions of Brazilians (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 20:29:00 +0000

Image via Deeper Valley

To assess the influence of the Internet's propagation of pornography and it's effect on popular culture one need look no further than their own nether region.

What does yours look like? Nicely trimmed? Hairless? If you said neither, if your bush is long enough to tangle (or braid), then you apparently don't watch enough porn. Go do that now, we'll wait.

Pornography is progressive... it drives Internet technology forward (think video streaming) and creates demand for broadband access. It also exposes huge populations of consumers to the baby smooth twats and cocks of its quickly crowned "stars". We watch those highly groomed anomalies of sexual perfection get it on in the absence of any contradicting (more realistic) imagery. Our perception of "normal" gets skewed... and then we watch our own hairy selves have sex. Ick!

Jane and I each test drove custom flavors of modified Brazilians (ouch) but decided waxing to that extent wasn't really worth the cost or discomfort. Not only that, but the stark margin created by my new artificial hairline looked completely unnatural, giving me what I thought was a very odd look. The problem with a male Brazillian (if waxing beyond just the balls) is where the heck do you stop? Because you have to stop somewhere!

Despite both the economic downturn and people's natural aversion to pain, waxing salons are having a boon time. Brazilian waxing (both male and female) has become their mainstay as our culture grows more and more transfixed on its own genitals. Sometimes our attention can be so focused that we miss the larger picture.

Hairless is like Spandex, it just doesn't look good on everyone. Jane and I recently witnessed firsthand a sample of sexually progressive people in their native (naked) attire. Of all the women of varying body types we saw, only one had any hint of pubic hair... everyone else was completely shaved or waxed. Ladies, if you are over 35 and over weight consider the benefits of [at least] a little decoration down there. It suits you. And if your O.B. went to the trouble of hiding your C-Section scar below your hairline trust his judgment and benefit from your body's natural concealer.

Guys! If you are a human sweater and you create a Brazilian island of baldness encircling your manhood you look ridiculous. Trust me. You need a wider gaze on yourself with less focus on your junk. If you are overweight and a fat pad around the base of your dick creates a crease or fold then you need hair there! Removing said hair will expose the fold, giving the appearance of a seam between you and your package. It will be completely indistinguishable from a detachable penis to anyone more than 2 pool chairs away.

My advice is to groom but don't go crazy. Trim, clip, wax where it's needed, but don't miss the bigger picture which includes age, body type, and overall hairiness. The big picture ALSO includes a sexy smile, sense of humor, and self confidence. You are so much more than your pubic hair, or lack thereof! Flaunt what matters.

Sexy Vacation Pictures: #4

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:02:00 +0000

Dick Says: Jane jumped on Reverse Cowgirl (which I LOVE) not realizing the camera was within my reach. Silly girl. The light through our window was just right (I LOVE daytime sex!) so a snapped a few to share with y'all. That's the curse of the Sex Blogger... always thinking about your next blog while getting schtupped.

Jane Says: Yee Haw!

Not surprisingly, the resort does not allow cameras in places where naked guests congregate. So the pictures we share here are only of us and in the privacy of our room. Sorry. ;o)

The Cialis Effect (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:09:00 +0000

Jane's eyes rolled into the back of her head. She gets no shortage of erect penis, in fact there is generally an oversupply. Regardless.. a couple months ago I cajoled my doctor into writing me a prescription for Cialis.

Tulips top Jane's list of favorite flowers and, being the good husband, I like to surprise her sometimes with a fist full of fresh Tulips for no particular reason other than my pure adoration of her. She eats that up... and I usually get lucky. ;o)

Jane also has a special appreciation for a particular type of erection... the rock-hard, fresh-out-of-a-morning-sex-dream erection. This particular brand of wood is more mahogany than pine and serves as a benchmark for erectile potential. It also serves well as a billy club for anyone that stands between me and the bathroom.

I don't have any sort of dysfunction but, just like everyone else, my erections are harder sometimes than others. Variability is based on; hour of day, time passed since last ejaculation, mood, booze, and physical energy. There are also some sex positions Jane likes that just don't get me the right way, any resulting loss in rigidity can necessitate a position change.

Consistency is good.
I aim to please.
Enter... Recreational Cialis.

I acquired the drug in anticipation of our sexy vacation to the beach where I knew we'd be drinking, staying up late, and having lots of sex at all times of the day. It's like packing a rain slicker, preparation for the unexpected is just simple responsibility. That's what I told myself. That's what I told Jane.

Hey, porn stars pop Viagra like candy! This stuff must be great, right?

On two consecutive Saturday mornings before our trip I did trial runs; got up and took a pill at least 30 minutes before Jane's and my usual hookup. The results were impressive! My dick was like a rolling pin and it allowed me to focus on Jane's pleasure in her favorite positions without interruption or distraction.

Cialis is like cheating. And just like the doctor said, my arousal was still in control. The erection arrived when Jane got me warmed up and then went away again after I ejaculated. The added boost lasts for 24 hours (which I tried out!) but does not keep me constantly erect. It all seems deceptively natural.

Because my dick was in my pants the rest of the day, I didn't really notice that I was slightly "plump" and not completely flaccid. Because I was busy being a Dad and chore laden homeowner, I didn't have opportunity to observe that even modest arousal could cause One Eyed Willie to raise his head and look around. He was 15 again.

Then we got on a plane to sexy-ville where men and sexy ladies roam unburdened by clothing. I popped my morning pill, did some naked roaming myself (gawking included), and developed a pesky and persistent semi-erection. In case it wasn't obvious... a man can't hide that kind of thing when he's naked. No pockets!

When you're laying poolside among naked strangers and Willie starts a lazy roll up over your thigh, headed toward your belly button, it becomes quickly obvious to your fellow sunbathers that you've been enjoying the sights a little too much. It's just not proper to sport wood in that setting; it makes for awkward conversation, and when you meet someone new they're not quite sure what to shake.

I cut the dose in half and then stopped taking it altogether. I was more comfortable being exposed and Jane never found reason to be less than satisfied. I still have most of the Cialis pills at home... we'll be saving them for some future sexy adventure which includes being clothed in public places.

Sexy Vacation Pictures: #3

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 15:06:00 +0000

click to enlarge

Dick Says: I was tan (all over), had recently dropped some weight, was sporting a new tattoo, and drank to excess every day from the always open bar. Oh... and beer goggling myself apparently. This picture (self portrait) fell out of the camera when we got home. Jane must have been off at one of the bars refilling her champagne glass.

Jane Says: You were ON FIRE baby! Best looking DICK in the WHOLE place! (Oh and the rest of you isn't so bad either, Honey ;o)). I even had to sneak my own picture while Dick was napping one day sprawled naked and sexy on the bed...sadly, my picture didn't turn out as good.

Not surprisingly, the resort does not allow cameras in places where naked guests congregate. So the pictures we share here are only of us and in the privacy of our room. Sorry. ;o)

Beach Bummed but Makin' Lemonade (Jane)

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 18:49:00 +0000

Image by BenHeys.com

Tropical storm Alex threw a bit of a curve ball to our anticipated sun drenched, beach vacation. I am a sun worshiper and, must admit, after the second consecutive day of overcast skies, wind, and rain I was feeling a bit bummed.

The night life wasn't affected too much because all the resort's scheduled events could easily be moved inside to the disco. But daytime in Cancun during a tropical storm forces a couple to use their imagination a bit to keep entertained.

Dick was prepared. He brought along some sexy games from GreatSexGames.com. We've had these games for a while and had tried on several occasions to play them but always seemed to be met with one obstacle or another. The perfect opportunity had presented itself, so we set up a game, got ourselves a couple of drinks, and ended up having a very fun and sexy afternoon together in a way we would never have had opportunity at home.

As Dick likes to say, we made lemonade out of the lemons the weather threw at us. The fun, laughter, exploration of each other, and ourselves was as rejuvenating as a day laying on the beach would have been. It is probably one of my favorite memories from the trip.

Sexy Vacation Pictures: #2

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:52:00 +0000

click to enlarge

Dick Says: Vacation at an adults only, sex-centric resort means never having to say you're sorry to the couple next door for noises in the night (or day!). It also means never having to explain that Mommy was not really hurting Daddy, he just can't suppress the guttural cave man groans from escaping loudly while Mommy fucks him in the ass.

We took our toys. We moaned, beat the headboard, and howled in sexual delight. Sexy Jane even wore her sexy smile and satisfied my anal desires. Jane rocks!

Jane Says: A good ass fucking is one of Dick's favorite things these days, unfortunately it also seems to be a few and far between activity for us... our busy lives consist mostly of vanilla type quickies. So I wasted no time strapping on my dick for my Dick the very first day on vacation. Oh how I love to make him moan!

Not surprisingly, the resort does not allow cameras in places where naked guests congregate. So the pictures we share here are only of us and in the privacy of our room. Sorry. ;o)

Sports Sans Shorts (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:38:00 +0000

For our male readers...

If three hot twenty-something girls (resort activity coordinators) wearing only thong bottoms told you to jump naked into a pool with them, along with other naked women and men, to play Water Volleyball would you do it?

I know! Silly question.

What about a more contact oriented in-pool sport like Water Polo or Basketball where legitimate fouls (funny but true) include "penis grabbing"?

Could you refrain from throwing slightly-too-high passes to your female teammates, forcing them to jump and lift their shiny wet tits out of the water?

Are these questions too easy? Would your answers change if your wife was sitting poolside?

These are the difficult decisions faced everyday by noble, yet horny, men at Desire Cancun. Thankfully, the pool-side bar offers a Liquid Assistance Program to ease the transfer of thought processing from your large head to your smaller one.

Storm surge prevented Beach Volleyball on the sea-side sand court while we were there. Just as well... I don't think there was enough booze behind the open bar to have eased me into that one.

Cheers!

Sexy Vacation Pictures: #1

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:29:00 +0000

Dick Says: A little too much champagne at the night club and [pantiless] Jane passed out by midnight. I snapped this picture before putting the moves on her (hey, I was drunk and horny, don't judge me!) but, sadly, she waved me off. No worries though, because at 3:00 a.m. she woke me up and rode me like the wild vixen she is. She just needed a rest, that's all. And I needed a picture of her ass. ;o)

Jane Says: I had hoped for a romantic evening followed by great sex...and dressed for the occasion, unfortunately an all inclusive 24 hour open bar + lightweight = drunk and passed out before you know it... the great sex did follow though after I slept it off and woke up horny as hell at 3 am! I had no knowledge of the photo shoot taking place.

Not surprisingly, the resort does not allow cameras in places where naked guests congregate. So the pictures we share here are only of us and in the privacy of our room. Sorry. ;o)

Lingerie Night (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 14:45:00 +0000

Image via RP Online

Jane and I recently escaped to a clothing optional resort for the first time. Before you assume we camped out with a bunch of naturalists let me tell you that it was an erotic, all inclusive, beach resort. There was plenty of "naked"... but the best gawking was of people with [at least some] clothing on.

Each evening had a theme, the day we arrived it was Lingerie Night and we were greeted by fellow guests in fishnet, heels, corsets, and thongs. Jane and I agreed, this was FAR sexier than naked.

There was a lingerie fashion show in the evening followed by a contest between guests for which I was tapped as a judge. One at a time, eight sexually confident, barely dressed women took the stage to show their best moves and I had to choose one among them. It was tough, really tough... I'm no Simon Cowell.

The disco got filled by sharply dressed men with their hot lingerie wearing partners in tow (it was all about the ladies). With an open bar pouring social lubricant as fast as it could be ordered, there was dancing, groping, and mixing of couples.

Our first night was a good one, it was an erotically charged welcome that dropped our jaws and got us drunk on lust. We eventually retired to our room and fucked like teenagers in heat!

Naked and Blown by Alex (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:22:00 +0000

Jane and I recently returned from a 5 day beach vacation where we experienced both the raw beauty of our fellow guests and the raw power of tropical storm Alex, the first named storm of the year which has since developed into a hurricane and is bearing down on the Texas coast. Based on our experience, the only thing more strongly driven than tropical storm winds is the will of travelers who emptied their pockets before taking off their pants.

Undeterred, we and other naked foreign tourists enjoyed what the Mexican resort had to offer... while the staff tried desperately to keep the place dry. Loose building codes, which appear indifferent to water run-off or the necessity of foot traction, are solid job security for countless Mexicans and Squeegee manufacturers. The staff worked very hard to keep us happy... and they did.

When you are laying naked by a pool in an unfaltering 40 knot wind and there are 30 other people out there with you, you know you're in good company.

When the sound of your empty cocktail tumbler bouncing across the pool-side cement summons your waiter, you know the service is top notch.

And when a hot Brazilian activity coordinator, clad in only a thong, instructs you to jump in the pool for some full contact water polo, you know your choice of destination was not only perfect but weather-proof.

It was not a "naturalist retreat"... it was an "erotic resort" (there's a difference!) and a new experience for both Jane and me. It was tough to leave that sexy haven and we're already talking about going back.

We'll be writing about this one for a while, so bare with us (pun intended). We just flew home last night, are back to work already, and will update as time allows.

Sex Vacation!

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 02:00:00 +0000

Dick and Jane are officially on sex vacation!!

(No, that's not actually us. But that's where we are! :o)

Synchronized Coming (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 02:55:00 +0000

At least 90% of the time Jane and I have sex we reach orgasm in unison. Building arousal, shallow breath, intensity, eruption... our paths to sexual release run parallel. I don't know how common this is but I suspect we are very lucky. Whatever the commonality, I'm pretty certain partners need to read each other very well to pull this off with any regularity.

Then again, there may be a very simple explanation.

Before meeting Jane I struggled to bring other partners to orgasm through vaginal sex. The stimulation of a warm, wet vagina can be very intense for any man and, early in my sexual development, I had difficulty lasting long enough to get my partner off before deploying the sperm brigade. Along the way, I learned some techniques to delay ejaculation but I also acquired more lasting power through simple experience and observation of my own physical queues.

What I failed to understand fully through my early trails with performance anxiety is that many women, especially younger women without a lot of sexual experience, rely very heavily on clitoral stimulation to climax. I knew the clit was important and I did everything I could to give it attention during sex, but doing so during penetrative sex was often awkward and, frankly, what I was doing with my cock had my full attention and priority. Rare was the partner who'd take charge of her own clit... you know, the shame of masturbation and all!

Nature seems to have stacked the deck against satisfaction with early sexual experience. Sexually inexperienced male genitals tend to find vaginal engulfment irresistibly stimulating. Conversely, the uninitiated vagina, while certainly being a powerful pleasure center, often does not hold the key to the kingdom of curled toes. So you stick a young dick into a young pussy and what do you get?... climax out of sync.

Then entered Jane into my life... and halle-fuckin-lujah! It all got so easy. She was orgasmic in a way no other partner had been. The "work" went away and it took my performance anxieties with it. Sex became a natural orchestration of mutual arousal building in waves that crashed together. It was both immediately effortless and completely freeing. We've been coming together this way for more than 16 years.

Jane and I each had some practice before we met. Mine was with other partners who challenged me to learn about myself and develop some staying power. Jane's was masturbation since age six (you read that right) and a keenly developed understanding of her own sexual response. Put us together and it's a perfect match; I pace myself appropriately, paying attention to internal queues as well as Jane's external queues, and Jane does the same. When she needs increased intensity I give it to her and this is where the obvious conclusion presents itself.

The simple explanation I eluded to earlier is this... despite my best efforts to delay ejaculation, I simply can't outlast Jane's frantically climactic pace nor her vaginal contractions which grab my cock like a fist and milk it dry. We consistently have simultaneous orgasms because I have partial, but not total, control of my release. She decides when the coming happens and I'm helpless to stop it.

Top 100 Sex Bloggers (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 00:33:00 +0000

Your nomination of Dick-n-Jane.com for the Sexiest Bloggers of 2010 list will help others like you find Dick-n-Jane.com.

It will also make us incredibly grateful... so much so that Jane has promised to MASTURBATE FOR YOU LIVE if we make the top 10!

*OUCH!* No she didn't. I just made that up. But c'mon Jane... will you at least do it for ME? ;o)

On Time Arrival: Ejaculatory Advice for Men (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 02:33:00 +0000

Image via Deeper Valley

The first time I had sex I was 16 and came very quickly. Too quickly. I was not a masturbator, had very little ejaculatory experience, and lacked skills to delay release.

I had a handful of sexual partners after that (before meeting Jane) and each required a different convergence of various stimulations to get off. Each one presented a distinct learning curve that challenged me to discover a winning orgasmic combination while also learning about myself. Often, too often, the protracted exchanges would lead to an earlier than ideal release for me. I come pretty easily when engulfed by a warm, wet vagina... even when working a complicated puzzle demanding patience and dexterity.

Delaying ejaculation is not an ability I claim with any expertise, I only know what I've learned through personal trial and error, nor do I claim any power to last indefinitely despite vigorous vaginal fucking. I can't do that, nor would I want to. What follows are some notes and suggestions from the me who used to struggle with performance anxiety.

Setting Performance Goals
Any man who has the desire to last longer should understand two basic things before setting any improvement goals:

Timing your own climax should have no relation to a clock; seconds, minutes, or hours. Rather it should revolve around you and your partner's personal satisfaction.
Your partner is physically capable of getting pounded for hours but that doesn't mean she wants to go that long. Further, she may get some sense of accomplishment from making you come and should not feel like she has to work too hard to get you there.

Techniques For Delaying Ejaculation
These are tips for you, not your partner. Try not to burden or distract her with your little project, you need her to focus on her own pleasure. Most of this stuff can be pulled off without her cluing into what you're doing... keep it playful and if you need to stop for minute play it off as teasing.

Slow down. Pace yourself from initial penetration, she doesn't need it hard and fast right out of the gate. Whatever you're doing may feel twice as good to her at half the speed. If you feel ejaculation pending, simply slowing down may not be sufficient. Even stopping completely with your dick still inside her may not work if she's working her PC muscles.
Pull out. Terminate the influence of her warm wet pussy and get the fuck out. Make whatever excuse you need to, just don't take your attention off of her. Use hands or mouth as a substitute while your dick calms down a bit.
Change position. Not only does this give you an excuse to pull out briefly, a change in the way your dick is getting stimulated can set you back a bit on the arousal scale.
Pinch and pull down and back on your scrotum. This is common advice to delay ejaculation that makes me come immediately. My dick loves it! Your mileage may vary.
Make her come by some other means before sinking the sub. Takes the heat off, sure, and I'm all for giving her as many O's as possible, but I still prefer to close the operation with a cock induced orgasm for her.
Keep it subtle. Making her party to your efforts may only serve to distract her and frustrate your anxieties. However, if you are in a long term relationship and are not having success improving your timing, asking for her help could be very beneficial.

When It Doesn't Go As Planned
Coming too soon (whatever you decide is too soon) is only a problem if you allow it to be.

Attitude is everything. Sometimes it happens... be willing to laugh, forgive yourself, and move on with confidence.
Don't assume anything about what she thinks, she's from Venus and what goes on inside her head baffles all Martians.
Unless it is a regular problem your lover may find unsupressable arousal a sincere reflection of her total hotness.
Don't apologize, just stay in the game and switch gears. Your focus on her pleasure will both gain you brownie points and distract her from dwelling on the issue.
If you feel your release is inevitable just go for it and don't hide your pleasure, make it loud and aerobic, get everything you can out of your orgasm. Chances are good that your partner gets some satisfaction from your climax, don't deny her that. If you suffer through premature ejaculation with barely a whimper hoping she won't notice you came early you'll be wrong. And you will have missed an opportunity to arouse her further.

Best Advice: The Right Partner
Jane is a perfect fit for me; right from the start we clicked sexually, my performance anxieties disappeared, and we've been coming in unison ever since. Occasionally, I'll still use some of my learned techniques to prolong the fun but in general our mutually building arousal is an effortless orchestration which peaks in waves that crash together with great energy and release. We stiffen and shudder through simultaneous orgasm together more than 90% of the time we have sex. It's perfect. And I'll write more about that in a future post (see it here).

Naked Outside the Usual Context (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:51:00 +0000

Image via: Happy Couples

Shortly after Jane and I got married, her sister paid a visit to our very small condo. While I don't recall the specific details of that day, I do remember that Jane spent some time comfortably mingling around the condo while wearing absolutely nothing.

Of the three of us... Jane is the only one that could have been naked. I don't know exactly how her sister felt about it but she and I were both party to Jane's nakedness outside the context of our previous experience. Before that day Jane had regularly bared all to each of us separately, but never with someone else present. That day there were two fully clothed, one fully nude, and the only one of us entirely comfortable was the one in the buff.

Personally, I found the experience to be highly arousing. Granted, Jane without clothes is always a turn on, but once you get comfortable with your own, or someone else's, nakedness there is an edgy thrill that gets muted by familiarity. However, if you drop the same fleshy reality into a different setting the edgy thrill returns!

I sometimes find myself naked (or partially naked) in places outside the usual context. Not weird places; doctor office, locker room, esthetician's table, tanning salon, football stadium... well, not that last one but you get the idea. In new scenarios like these I become very aware of my own naked vulnerability, NOT in a sexual way... but in an edgy, heightened attention sort of way.

In a sexual context, unfamiliar nakedness (like that with a new lover) can bring thrill that triggers endorphine release and all the associated good feelings. Jane and I are planning a brand new naked adventure together that I hope will have a wonderful effect on us both. We'll be first-timers... out of our comfort zone and naked way outside the usual context.

Sexy, Naked Escape (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:34:00 +0000

Image via Happy Couples

June means vacation. Sure, there will be a family vacation thrown in there somewhere... but this year Jane and I are taking off together. Just the two of us. To the sexiest place on earth.

We've been to the Mayan Riviera together once before, it was 16 years ago on our honeymoon. We were drunk on love and just discovering sex together. This time will be different, but with any luck, just as memorable.

Where we are going... we don't need clothes. That is to say, our destination resort is "clothing optional". More than that, the all-inclusive (drinks included!) resort is not merely a naturalists' retreat, it is "couples only" and caters to people who are not shy about sex.

Between the beach, pool, nightclub, and "playroom" there is apparently plenty to do for both exhibitionists and voyeurs alike. Never having been there ourselves we can't say with any certainty what awaits us on June 25th, but we've been told it's one really hot destination!

Masturbation Month 2010: Jane's Personal Log

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 31 May 2010 23:55:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Tue May 04 - I got waxed today. I didn't go for the Brazilian this time... having one's labia waxed REALLY hurts! But I do like the look and feel of hairless labia... so when I got home I decided to just go ahead and shave. This can be highly arousing. I use the body bare shaver, which is actually a pleasant experience partly due to fingers exploring to make sure I've gotten it smooth...well, by the end I was feeling rather engorged and a bit drippy. So, I put my Fukuoku Twist and Shout to work. It was fun!

Sat May 08 - There is kind of an unspoken Saturday morning fuck ritual between Dick and I, and I have to admit we cheated on the first day of Masturbation Month and fucked last Saturday; so this morning I was a little saddened when I remembered we had taken a vow of masturbation only for the month. As Dick described in his log there was back and forth hand stimulation bringing each other to heightened arousal and my "release" was in the form of Dick's fingers inside of me and my Eroscillator on my clit. I come too quickly this way, it left me wanting more Dick!

Sat May 15 - I've already had it with Masturbation month, I mean I spent my teenage years and young adulthood depriving myself of sexual intercourse because I was afraid of the wrath of God. I just want the dick already. I did manage to coax the dick inside for a brief interlude...too brief. Anyway, I used the Fukuoku Twist and Shout on myself while Dick watched and stroked himself; we're so in tune to each other that we even come simultaneously when masturbating.

Masturbation Month 2010: Dick's Personal Log

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Mon, 31 May 2010 23:50:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Sun May 02 - Jane woke me before leaving for work the usual hard-on inducing way but I had a little extra plan for her today. I said, "before you leave, would you grab my masturbation sleeve and some lube?". "Seriously?" she said, a little surprised and sounding a bit annoyed. I assured her that I was. By the time she delivered the items there was a sexy grin on her face and I knew I'd succeeded in planting some arousal in her otherwise work focused brain.

Mon May 03 - Jane had a tough day on her feet so I volunteered a bedtime foot massage. It started simply enough but the rubbing spread... calves, thighs, and then on to the butt (this kind of thing can happen when you're both naked). All told, it was about a half hour massage and when I finished up with her ass I was rock hard. My hands were already oiled up so it was a no brainer. I slid my cock between her butt cheeks a few times (you know, it needed some oil!) and then had a quick tug. Jane ended up looking something like this... but much shinier. ;o)

Thu May 06 - Dispassionate, dry handed dispatch of morning mahogany. Seemed a bit like work. Wished it was Jane riding Cowgirl.

Sat May 08 - Our regular Saturday morning tryst took a masturbatory turn. Still groggy and feeling heavy from the weight of good sleep, Jane roused me with a hand stroking my cock. GREAT way to wake up! There was plenty of back and forth with the hands while we brought each other to higher states of arousal. I'll let her tell her own story but I used a hand slick with Jane's juices to stroke myself to orgasm while Jane gave my balls a gentle, rhythmic squeeze. It was a wonderful exchange that helped us reconnect after a busy week... but it left me still lusting for some penetrative sex. I'm not sure I'll last until June!

Tue May 11 - I liquidated the sperm inventory just after my morning shower and shave. Jane was just on the other side of a partially closed door and had she walked in on me it would have definitely broken my rhythm. Remnants of the closet wanker remain! ;o)

Thu May 13 - Sometimes a person just can't wait! I waded through my subscribed porn feeds late this afternoon, looking for something to post on HotPics, and got myself all hard and bothered. Soon the clock told me it was time to go make dinner for the family... but I sneaked away upstairs first to whip up some baby batter. Sometimes "later" isn't good enough.

Sat May 15 - Saturday mornings are my favorite! I helped Jane warm up with some gentle intravaginal massage which she really enjoyed. Oh, and I did that with my dick. Cheating, maybe... but we could not resist. We down shifted into masturbation mode and Jane used a toy while I watched, I really like that. I caressed her body, played with her tits, and watched her arousal build. All the while stroking myself. We both came at the same time (just like when we have sex) and I covered her chest in come. We held each other through the afterglow and talked... it felt great to be together.

Mon May 17 - Released the hostages. No details... just did it.

Tue May 18 - Had the house to myself this morning, good thing too because I was a little loud. I decided my day should start with a little something extra, I also decided that it should include some anal play. In what was a first time for me, I greased up and sat down on a modest sized glass dildo with spiraled ridges. The length was a bit too much for me but I was able to squat over it and move up and down enough to get a decent ass fucking. I queued up a short-ish porn clip on the PC, took dick in hand, and blew an incredible load. I was very self aware of all the vocal noise I was making... but it wasn't voluntary and I couldn't turn it off. A good way to start the day!

Thu May 20 - It was 1:00 a.m. and I couldn't sleep... lucky for me I had a hard on! Making the bald man cry in the night while in the same bed with a light sleeper who likes her sleep can be tough. I tried to be quiet, I tried not to shake the bed... but Jane woke up anyway. She didn't say anything until morning so I didn't realize she was aware at the time. Had she reached over and put her hand on my chest to let me know she was awake and with me, I might have opened the throttle a bit. Just sayin'!

Sat May 22 - The novelty of masturbating together instead of having sex on Saturday morning has worn off. Worse, Jane's libido sometimes goes on hiatus and it's there now! She helped me out with a little ball play, and I eventually came on her boobs, but if we'd had sex instead she would have certainly benefited from the hormonal rush of orgasm. Anyway, she wore her sperm badge around on her chest for a while and admired herself in the mirror... too funny.

Mon May 24 - Coaxed sap from the morning wood. Nothing more to say.

Thu May 27 - Woke up at 3:00 a.m. in a tent. Sleeplessness ensued. Tried to bleed the pressure valve with no luck... spent close to 45 minutes trying but Rosie just wan't doing for me. I need to get laid!

Masturbation Month 2010: Going Out With a Bang (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Thu, 27 May 2010 21:00:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Her lips were extraordinarily soft and inviting this morning. I gave Jane a long, protracted kiss on my way out the door to work, she kissed back the way she does when her libido is on the rise. I leaned into it, rapt by a sensual touch that I hadn't realized I missed so much.

I've had two things working against my desire to get lucky lately; our oath for Masturbation Month, and Jane's irregular hormonal cycle. Some women bleed like clockwork, Jane's system runs more like a train schedule... where timing is only a rough suggestion. Sometimes, the result is maddeningly extended PMS which has many effects on Jane, noteably a completely vanished libido. Lack of desire for sex extends beyond the bedroom; it bridles affection, intimacy, and ultimately leaves us feeling a bit disconnected. And then, like a warm spring breeze, it arrives again from nowhere full of new life.

The ends are near; Masturbation Month is coming to a close, and Jane's libido hiatus is about over. There is a perfect storm brewing and it's causing a stiffening in my shorts. Saturday morning is the sexy sweet spot of our entire week and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss this one. June is coming early to our house!

That kiss made my day.

Euphemisms for Masturbation (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sun, 23 May 2010 20:36:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Jane and I have been doing the opposite of 30 Days of Sex and as we write and converse about Masturbation I'm reminded there are some pretty funny euphemisms for getting yourself off. Here are some we've been using in our blog and between ourselves:

MALE:
Make the bald man cry
Release the hostages
Liquidate the sperm inventory
Tenderize the tube steak
Whip up some baby batter
Release the genie

FEMALE:
Polish the head of the pink fairy
Tickle the pink taco

There are a gazillion creative and hilarious euphemisms out there. Feel free to leave one or two for us in the Comments. Warning, you might need both hands to do that. ;o)

Marriage and Masturbation (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Wed, 19 May 2010 19:50:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Married people don't masturbate... they have each other, why would they need to? I believe this is a popular misconception and one that is likely believed by more vigorously masturbating single folks than those who are married.

Jane and I were masturbators when we met though we didn't share this with each other. We each had our own demons (guilt and shame) from our similar repressive upbringings. We got married, had loads of sex, shared a bedroom, and kept on masturbating in secret. It felt like cheating.

I get turned on by the thought of Jane getting herself off and there were times when I would encourage it. One time I went out of town on business and left a recently purchased vibrator behind as a surprise gift. The plan worked and I got a nondescript confirmation that she used it with success. Basically, I was trying to recruit Jane into the arena of self pleasure unaware that she was already actively there... and had been since age six!

When I later found out Jane was an regular wanker (like me) I was both relieved and excited. Our patterns were similar and seemingly counter-intuitive; we masturbated the most at times when we were having the most sex. When our libidos were in sync and our sex life was rich with passionate exchanges, we were more inclined to be banging some out on our own.

Then came my desire to watch, I discussed this with Jane but she was reluctant. In a move to subdue the topic she said I would have to do it for her first. She had me there... I was also hesitant. We worked it in slow; I knocked one off while giving her a hand job (she was not watching but saw the evidence), we gave each other a show via webcam while I was out of town, that sort of stuff. Jane bought a book, "Exhibitionism for the Shy", I know this because I found it hidden in the closet. And, no... the irony is not lost on me.

These days we're not too shy about self pleasure and it has become part of our sexual repertoire. We masturbate each other and we masturbate ourselves, we do it together and we do it alone. This month, we are even writing about it (see Dick's Log and Jane's Log)... so hiding is not an option! ;o)

At present count, about 20% of respondents to our Masturbation Poll have not masturbated in front of their partner (assuming there is a partner). That's a shame. It is an intimate and very personal act to share... one that reveals trust and a willingness to be both open and vulnerable. It requires the kind of relationship that makes for a good marriage.

When the Hell is June 1st? (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Fri, 14 May 2010 02:50:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

Holy crap... its not even half way through the month yet? Jane and I took vows to only get ourselves off for the month of May (in misguided recognition of National Masturbation Month) and I think it might kill us. Or we might kill each other.

Maybe it's illness... which there has been. Maybe it's PMS... which there currently is. But without our tried and true technique to reconnect in a loving exchange of lust and emotion, we are sailing different seas (and lobbing canon balls). Who's idea was this anyway? Oh, yeah... it was mine. Jane likes to remind me.

I find myself touching her less. I resist the urge to grab and kiss her. My new freedom to ejaculate whenever I get the urge (my untethered sexual impulse) comes with an associated cost of self imposed withdrawal from Jane lest we become too enamored.

We're dealing with sexual frustration while trying to hold down jobs and bring up kids. We have all stress and no shared release! Dear God... has it only been two weeks?

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little for the sake of drama. But you get the idea... we're past the novelty, we're hissy and scratchy, and we really need to get laid. I'm curious how this will play out and looking forward to the sexual high we'll enjoy when it's over, but June 1st can't come soon enough!

Discovering Masturbation (Jane)

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 08 May 2010 16:47:00 +0000

This is part of a Dick-n-Jane.com series for 2010 National Masturbation Month.

I have been masturbating for a long time; though I don't remember exactly how or how old I was when it began, I do remember being as young as 6 masturbating to orgasm. I had this doll called Baby Beans and I would put her plastic face between my labia, lay on my belly, and rub until it felt so good that I could not continue (what I now understand was orgasm). It never occurred to me to use my hands or fingers and I really had no knowledge of the anatomical parts so I'm not sure I would have been able to find the right location to bring myself to that feeling of ecstasy.

I don't remember being "caught in the act", but somehow I always felt shameful about doing this. I came from a very conservative religious home where it was ingrained in me at a very young age that sex, and all anatomy associated with sex, was dirty and shameful. I don't remember specifically being told these things but "knew" it very young. Nonetheless, I continued to masturbate. I just couldn't seem to stop doing it, it felt good! However, since the act made me feel guilty and shameful I didn't do it often, perhaps 2-3 times a month.

Baby Beans continued to be my main source of stimulation all the way into young adulthood. I did discover using running water from the bathtub and hot tub jets, but these methods were a little more difficult. As I grew up it took on a new meaning since I came to understand it to be a sexual experience, this knowledge somehow made the act even more shameful...it didn't stop me from doing it though.

Sex was a topic that was not discussed in my home. I learned about sex at school, from friends, and books. The closest my mother came to discussing sex with me was to give me a very boring, very factual book. I remained pretty oblivious about sex most of my teen and young adult years and was, in a way, fearful of sex. Yet I knew it was something that could bring great pleasure.

As I look back, I'm glad I learned at a young age what orgasm felt like. I think it has helped to shape my adult sex life. I believe knowledge of orgasm, and how to best get yourself there, is essential to the most rewarding sexual experience.

Image from BauerNudes.com

My New Friend, The Doctor (Dick)

noreply@blogger.com (Dick) — Sat, 08 May 2010 01:37:00 +0000

I saw a Urologist this morning, my first visit with this flavor of medical specialty. A General Practitioner has always been more than enough in the past but I had some specific concerns I needed to air with a Nether Region expert. Turns out I'm in great health after all!

However, as long as I was there... I softened the truth a bit and complained of problems maintaining erections. True, there have been limited occasions when One Eyed Willie wasn't fully with me for the duration of his duties. Sometimes he's just tired. Sometimes Jane's best friend is just too worn out to provide her with the diamond hardness she prefers.

I saved the poor doctor boring details which may have fully explained my infrequent semi-loss of erection. Instead, I allowed him to assume the worst... and he did. I now have a brand new, doctor cleared, prescription for recreational Cialis!

This will allow me to scratch a bold check-mark next to "Get the pills" on my Prep-For-Sex-Vacation To-Do list. Next up... get Masturbation Month out of the way and then pack little to no clothing for our June trip to Desire Cancun!