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Don't Leave Me Hanging

2013-02-10T08:26:00.000-06:00

I think that it should be a fundamental course of action to be always upfront with someone. I think that there are countless ways that people fail at this, but one that is probably very real to most people is in relationships when people are not upfront with each other.

Never cut ties without explaining why. It’s so easy to say thirty seconds worth of words which will easy hours of questioning thoughts. For instance, let’s say you go out with someone. That someone was OK, but not a person that you want to spend more time getting to know in a dating setting. The person calls a day or so latter to try to set up another date and finds you avoid the call and let the person leave a message. Then, you never get back with that person. Yes, you did just communicate that you don’t want a second date, but you also communicate a lot of other things and leave room for imagination to run. The person now has to figure out why you avoid a conversation, is he or she really that bad that you don’t even want to say anything? Did you get the message at all? Maybe you deleted it accidently without seeing who it was from? The person will probably wonder what he or she did that made you change your mind, and there will be a lot of room to question.

You maybe have seen both sides of this coin. What is the worst experience you have ever had with this? Do you do the same thing to other people?

Just be Yourself

2013-02-07T08:05:00.001-06:00

Just be yourself people say. But do they really mean it? Whenever I’m completely myself, I get the impression that people don’t really like it. Maybe the honesty scares people or maybe I do. What it comes down to in the end, is the fact that when people say to just be yourself, what they are really saying is that you should just be the best version of yourself. The truth is, in my case at least, that self is actually quite complicated and messy. There are aspects of self that are good and aspects that are bad. I’m not saying that people should like and enjoy everything about a person, I’m saying that they should understand that people are messy creatures, not easily confined or constrained to a simple set of governing rules and definitions. I’m saying it’s OK to be messy. It may make people uncomfortable to be messy around them, but who says that it’s our job to make everyone feel good and comfortable around us. Sometimes I have sorrow; is it right to hide that sorrow and be a fun me that everyone likes to be around? Is it OK to bring all of me to the table and be authentic? I say yes!

In fact, the people that I most respect are those people who are the most them—not version of self that people find the most attractive, funny, or happy. When I’m with someone, I like to be with them—and all that they are—the good, the bad, the ugly, the whole self. In all honesty, I know when someone is being themselves and when they are not. When someone is completely uncool, I know that they are being authentic with me, honest and upfront. So, when I say just be yourself, I actually mean it. Please be you. There is no one else that you can be, and the world does not need you to be anyone other than you. The world already has a lot of fake people. What everyone needs is for you to be you. If people are uncomfortable with you, frankly that’s their problem and they can deal with it.

Take the Good Advice of a Hypocrite

2013-02-06T11:24:00.001-06:00

Good advice is only as important is one’s willingness to take it. I think that everyone has some very good advice to give, even to themselves, that they never actually take. It’s easy to say something, but much more difficult to actually do it. Why? I don’t know, probably just human nature. I can easily tell you exactly what you need to do in order to change and do things better, but I can’t tell you how to motivate yourself to actually do that. Heck, I have trouble taking my own advice most of the time. In ways, I feel like a hypocrite because I am so good ad giving advice and so far away from being able to take that advice. On the other hand, is knowing what is right and being unable to always do it worse than knowing what is right but never saying it never trying to do it? I think not. If I at least think and try, perhaps some day I will get better than I am no. However, if I never try, there is no hope at all. At the end of the day, it’s probably better to have people think you are a hypocrite for wanting to do better, knowing there is something better to do, but being unable to do it, than to give up before even trying. That is the way I see it anyway.

Don't Wait for Life to Happen to You, Happen On Life Instead

2013-02-05T08:39:00.000-06:00

As though you were dying, as though you did not have as many days as you wanted to do the things you want to, as though every moment was special and unique and irreplaceable—that is the truth about life. It’s here and it’s passing by. It’s a thousand moments that we decide how we use. It won’t wait. Every moment is a now or never opportunity. The time that we waist and have wasted will never come back. We are running out of time, the clock is ticking. There is an urgency to life. It can’t wait. We can’t wait to do the things that we want to. Whatever we want, whatever we expect to get out of life, we must get it now. Many people wake up on their death-bed with a longing in their hearts to do something that matters and find that it is too late. The time that they had, they wasted on things that did not truly matter.

We need to know what truly matters and we need to remind ourselves and keep reminding ourselves what matters and to live towards what matters. Right now, you are dying. Your life is passing away. You are running out of time. What are you going to do with the time that you have left. Are you going to build relationships with people, work for fame and fortune, let it slip bit by bit through your fingers until you have frittered away a lifetime? Are you exchanging could-have-beens for the safety of comfort and security of fear-avoidance?

Please don’t wait. Whatever it is that you are hoping for, go out and find it. Don’t wait for it. Don’t wait for life to happen to you—happen on life instead.

You Can Always Trust a Dishonest Person to be Dishonest

2013-02-01T09:37:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite lines about honesty is from one of my favorite movies said by the character Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean where Jack said at the end: “You can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest, honestly, it’s the dishonest ones you have to worry about.” There is a lot of truth to that statement, if someone is willing to be dishonest about anything, you can trust the fact that he or she will be dishonest about something else at some point with you. They cannot be trusted.

But what is it to be honest? I think that it is much more than either speaking the truth or not speaking the truth. It’s more about living what the truth is. It’s more about knowing what the truth is, about who we are, about who others are, and being faithful to always communicate in actions, inactions, words spoken and words held back, the truth. Being honest is not just keeping a promise, or telling the truth. It’s living that truth at all times.

Being honest is being willing to be you one-hundred percent. It’s not hiding behind assumed realities or designed fiction. It’s accepting things as they are and being unwilling to hide anything that we don’t like about it. We need to be honest with others, but equally so, we need to be honest with ourselves. I would go so far as to say that we must be honest with ourselves before we can be honest with others.

It’s not always easy to be honest. It’s not easy to admit that we are not good at something. It’s not easy to admit that we have done something wrong to another person. The truth does not claim to be easy, it claims to be right. If doing the right thing was easy, everyone would probably be right more often. But no matter how difficult it is, as Neil Warren said, "truth is always friendlier than anything less than the truth."

Who's Shoes to Wear?

2013-01-31T09:10:00.002-06:00

Our perspective is vital to us but also easy to get trapped, become trapped in one power of focus and miss out on all the other angles from which to see things. In a way, we know we do it. We know that we decided to only view things from one perspective. In a way, it is necessary to maintain a focus to stay headed in one direction. The cliché about walking in someone else’s shoes or the phrase “if I were you” get at the idea that we don’t see things the way they truly are but the way that we want to see them. It’s fine to not consider other perspectives if the one we have is right, but what if it is wrong? It’s fine to live most of the time from one perspective, but it should be a decision to live in that perspective. It’s important to think about the shoes we are in, and the shoes that others are in. Important to know and understand why we do things that we do and why people do the things that they do. It will help make a lot of sense out of things that would otherwise make no sense at all and also help us to relate to and understand other people.

So, there is a balance between walking in the shoes that you are in, and considering what it is like to walk in the shoes of others as well. We can become hostages to thoughtlessness if we do not consider the thoughts, lives, and actions of others. But, we can also become distracted and unfocused in life if we only consider others and what they would do. It’s another one of life’s balances. It seems that so much of life is learning to maintain a balance of two opposite things for which the middle between them is the ideal.

A Glance

2013-01-29T13:25:00.002-06:00

It started with a single smile and a look in the eye

There was a question asked in that moment of silence

It brought me to wonder if there was a reason why

There was a possibility that the heart had spoken

When the time came for me to ask you for a chance,

I started with a word and got caught up in your eyes

There was a silence as I fell into a sudden trance

When I came to I had introduced myself to you

Your name was something lovely and sweet

I had it in my head after it was time to sleep

Hoping it would not be long until again we meet

Wondering how a glance can steal away a night

Forgotten How

2013-01-28T16:08:00.001-06:00

It's odd that, as a whole, we believe our society is more advanced, smarter, healthier--simply better than societies have been in the past--when in reality we are less happy than we were a few years ago on average according to polls. If we have everything so figured out and together, why don't we know how to do something so fundamental as enjoy life? We may have gained a better understanding of how to increase our life-spans, but are less sure what to do with those extra years. We know how to watch TV, but not how to watch our children grow up and enjoy the moments spent with them. We know how to text a friend but not how to look them in the eyes and understand their heart. We know how to get happy but not how to be joyful. We know there is a problem but not how to fix it. We know more but understand less.

I’ve eaten lunches with people who are so busy on their phone or computer or tablet to ask me my name. Sure, they may work next to me, they may know that it, but they don’t know to reach out to a human being. They don’t know how to make eye-contact. It’s completely contradictory that we humans are afraid of what it is to be a human and unwilling to learn. Even though they know that to be human is to be real and that to be anything other than that is to not be at all—aside from being a fake. We are so attached to things and the acquisition of things that we have lost sight of who we are and what we are made to do.

The Habit of Thinking About Habits

2013-01-28T15:58:00.003-06:00

Habits, make a habit of making good habits seems to be the center of the true heart concerning how to be successful. I’ve read several books on how to be successful, how to be good at such and such a skill, and it all seems to come down to having the strength to form good habits. It’s not so much as making good choices as it is fixing our minds to no longer think in ways that are not good.

In a way, it’s not really a surprise that I’ve begun to reach this conclusion. It is no real secret, only now revealed. In the Bible, there is a lot said about renewing your mind. Think about certain things, not others. But the one thing that is still difficult to do, and is not yet will understood, is now to actually be successful in developing new habits. I find that it is the most difficult thing to form a new habit. My whole mind is used to thinking one way and geared to continue doing that. It has a momentum to it a direction of motion that it wishes to continue on.

I’m referring to my brain as a separate thing than myself now because in reality that is what is actually occurring. Our brains develop a wiring system as we think one way for a while, that become automatic after a while. It’s like when you are driving down the road, and decided that you will now be going the other direction. That is a decision that you can make, but the car and everything around you is still moving in the other direction. It will take time and effort to stop the car and change directions and momentum. If we t think about ourselves in this way, it helps to realize why it takes time to change a habit. It’s not going to be easy. It will never get any easier either.

In this way, we are trapped by our brains. We know what we want to do. We can make decisions, but our decisions will always require effort to bring to fruition. We can’t park the car and walk wherever we want. We are bound to drive this way forever. But knowing this about the way things work is helpful. If we know what to expect, then every time we make a decision, we know what to expect. We are not surprise by who we are.

Shades of Gray, is a Dark Way to Think

2013-01-27T19:16:00.001-06:00

Samuel Johnson once said, “The fact that there is such a thing as twilight does not mean that we cannot distinguish between day and night.”

We are so accustomed to shades of gray that we become blinded to the obvious contrast between black and white. Truthfully though, although there may be shades of gray, there are also many things that are plane to see as right or wrong. While it may be wrong to assume everything is simply right or wrong and that there is an easily assigned ruling of right and wrong for all actions, it is equally wrong to assume that there is no such thing as right and wrong at all. It is no easy task to judge between right and wrong. We must be wise and discerning not to lightly consider things of moral nature—not assume that any standard imposed on us from any source is to be trusted of the merit of its spoken voice but by testing and weighing. We must not faint from the task of thought and the council of reason and heart in matters of right and wrong, we must not surrender under the burden of discussion and debate. We must acknowledge the challenge and pour ourselves out on the balances until a verdict is reached. We must never conceded the war to avoid the demands of battles. We must fight to know and understand what is right.

The Man in the Arena

2013-01-26T12:40:00.001-06:00

This nation, The United States, has had some great leaders in character and strength over its history. We have been privileged by true men and women willing to step into the ring and fight for greatness, not for their selfish ambition or ego, but for the whole, for you and me. Theodore Roosevelt is one president who’s charisma and character are the backbone of for great example in a lot of ways. He was an imperfect man, but he is remembered still as a true leader.

He once famously said the following in a speech in Paris, France:

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

For me this quote strikes a nerve in me, it’s a welcome spur in the side to stand up from among the crowd and fight and try and dream and hope and be more than what the critics say and believe and try to keep me as. It’s also a reminder that far too much energy is spent fretting over vacant criticisms from those who’s words have traveled beyond their right to speak because they are not my peers, not my equals because to be my equal means that they would be tasting the same dirt that I am, bleed from their own veins like I do, and if they truly understood me and my endeavors as I do, they would not have dared raise a criticism against me. The truth about the critics is that they are afraid to try, and seeing someone with the courage to risk where they cannot is a reminder that they are weak—and they do not like the truth. And last, the quote reminds me that it is better to try and fail than to accept defeat without trying, to live each day afraid to try. To step up to the plate and not ever swing.

Long after the man has passed away, his legacy of courage is still an inspiration.

Compassion, True Strength to Dare Greatly

2013-01-26T12:17:00.000-06:00

Recently I was listening to an audio-book “ daring greatly” and one quote by Pemma Choron that stuck out to me above the other many great points that she made. The quote was simply and eloquently spoken as:

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

The essence of what he is saying is the simple truth that in order to experience true compassion for someone—what people desperately need—we must be willing to abandon our aloof disinterest and bare our own wounds as a human, to reveal our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities to them, and that the prerequisite to healing someone with our own compassion is to reveal that we are as wounded and broken as the person that we are seeking to console. The quote struck me because it answered the question I've been asking, “why is compassion so rare, why are people so afraid to be human?”

You see, for a long time now, I've been walking around and feeling a social disconnect with people. At times I've wondered if it is something about me, if there is something wrong with me that drives complete strangers from engaging me as a human, but the truth is that we are all afraid, afraid to bare out wounds with people, show up as a real person with all the real problems that face all people. Somewhere along the way, we as a society have bought into the idea that we are weak and ruined if we admit that we have weaknesses. But the truth is that having a weakness, to fall down and make mistakes does not reflect anything beyond that. The truth is that it takes extreme courage to show up as yourself—all of yourself not just the side that you think people are OK seeing. The truth is that it takes great strength to admit weakness. This strength is what is missing. I believe we are a people that has forgotten what it means to be human and have put up a front, a façade that we are strong. But in pretending to be strong, we are no longer being the strength that we all wholly need and want.

Your Way, God's Way

2013-01-23T19:19:00.001-06:00

So far, 2013 has been the best year ever. I know it’s early to be saying so, but that is the way that my year has been. What has been making this year so great? It’s not been a something as much as a someone. But the real surprise is not that it’s a someone, but who it is. It’s been God. I've been placing prayers and thoughts in my mind and heart. Praying and thinking about God. Not in an intellectual way as I have generally done in the past but in a heart way. Simply sitting down and taking the time to talk to God. To read His Word. To meditate on the meaning of verses. Listening to music with the conscience thought of singing it to God, not just to sing.

When we draw close to God, he will draw close to us. That is what I have been doing, and that is what I have been doing. Nothing else. If there is anything or anyone keeping you from God—Father—something has got to be done. You are not living until you are living in the mental and spiritual presence of God. I have experienced a great many things, many of them great, but there is nothing even somewhat close to what it is like to be close to God. You, everyone really, has the chance to reach out to the Creator and find His
hand there waiting for you to take yours the whole time.

What is keeping you from doing the only thing that really matters. Does it make sense to continue to do the same thing that will not ever yield any better results. If you have tried doing things your way, maybe give God a chance to do things his way. You will be amazed at what a difference it can make.

Gun Control, People Control, Self-control

2013-01-22T09:03:00.004-06:00

I agree that if we took all the guns from everyone, we would have fewer deaths by guns obviously, whether or not that would cause other crimes to rise or not is highly debated. Honestly though, I don’t think the real problem is guns at all. I am a big supporter of taking responsibility for actions as individuals, as a nation, as a whole--always.

We are aiming our anger at an easy target, the gun, when the gun is just an object that needs to be empowered by a human hand. It is not fair or honest to point fingers at guns when it was a human finger and will that ultimately is pulling the trigger on that gun.

You see, guns have been around for a long time and we have not had the problems that we have today. My father tells of when he was a kid, it was perfectly normal for kids to drive to school with full gun-racks in their trucks. No one thought the wiser about it because no one was massacring anyone. Now, something has changed to where having guns at school is a terrifying thought. What changed? We have changed, the guns are the same as they always were.

And here is my point. People are the problem. I think that the most terrifying thing about school shootings is that it reflects just how dangerous we are. In the most recent shooting where innocent first grader children were executed, we see an evil that we have not seen so clearly in a number of

years—at least not so close—and the reminder of what humans are capable of is terrifying.

But, taking away guns won’t fix the people. We as a nation have become a people of violence. I don’t wish to live as a member of a society that wishes to kill one another but cannot, but to live in a society that wishes to do good for each other--one that where I do not need to be protected from each other. That will not occur unless we are honest and focus on the things that are at the root of the violence. We need to take action to raise kids up with care and nurturing them to where they would never consider doing the things that they are capable of doing. We need to fix the people. We need self-control, not gun control.

Knowing How to Bend a Bronze Bow

2013-01-20T10:12:00.004-06:00

Knowledge is powerless without the power to take action on it.

Once there was a famous worrier. He was a great archer, and his natural gift had brought him riches and much acclaim across all the lands. Rumor was that he could strike down a goat from a thousand paces. There was nothing that he had ever hunted that he did not eventually prevail over. His skill was one of rumor and renown. One day, he was hunting a very elusive prey in the mountains, but could never get closer than fifteen hundred passes from the creature before it would see him and escape, knowing that he could not shoot an arrow that far. Extremely disheartened that there was a limit to his skill, he got the idea of making a stronger bow that could shoot an arrow that far. He took a large sum of his money to a local bronze-smith and told him to make him a perfect bow from bronze that could fire as far as two-thousand paces. After weeks of hard work the smith had the bow ready and a glimmering spectacle of skill and labor on the part of the smith.

The great archer came and at once took the bow to the mountain to claim the victory over the creature he so wished to defeat. From nearly sixteen hundred paces, he saw the creature standing in plain view. Thinking to himself that he had at last won, he placed an arrow on the bow-string and began to draw back the bow. But as he went to try, he was faced by the unwelcome fact that he was not strong enough to draw the bow. He was angry and shouted in frustration as he tried over and over to draw back the bow. The creature took notice of him and approached him rather daringly. “You knew what it would take to defeat me, but you did not have the strength to of mind to succeed.”

The moral of the story is that knowing what to do, having knowledge, is only one side of the coin. The other is having the discipline—strength of mind—to take action and to keep taking action to complete what should be done. The archer could have gone about strengthening his arm so he could have drawn the bow. He should have worked hard and practiced and prepared. But, he trusted his natural skill and was not willing to put in the effort to discipline himself to the point of drawing the bow.

It takes discipline to and knowledge. Knowledge without discipline is not power.

There is Always a Choice

2013-01-20T09:44:00.001-06:00

We are ultimately in charge of our lives, even in the decision to believe we are not in charge. We always have the choice. There is always a choice, and we are always the one who has to make that choice. It is a scary thing sometimes to have that much say over our lives. It’s easy to try run away from that truth, yet impossible to actually get away. Trying to get away from being in charge is somewhat like in the movies when someone is trying to run away from a villain who can materialize anywhere he wants to. Every time the protagonist opens a door or turns to get away, he finds himself looking straight into the face of the one he is fleeing from. It is the same way with our responsibility, from our in-charge-ness. Even if we give it up to someone else, we always have the ability to change our mind, as long as we have our minds, we are in charge and have decisions. As long as there is a decision, you are in charge.
Trying to run will never relieve the stress of being in charge. You were born a leader, a leader of your life. So lead. Lead in whatever direction is right.

More than a Feeling

2013-01-09T09:35:00.002-06:00

It’s easy to get swept up in moments particularly heavy with emotion and believe that it is love—to confuse attraction with love. Most people have ideas like, “love at first sight,” and “happily ever after.” The sad thing is, that those are all just fictitious fairy tales. There is no such thing as love at first sight or any of that other hoopla that is so famously fantasized about.

Those feelings are important and should probably be found in any healthy relationship—if it were missing I would be concerned. But that is not to say that every single moment should be filled with those feelings. Love is much more a commitment to do what is right for someone regardless of whether you feel loved by them. Love is really setting one’s own feelings aside and seeking to make the other person feel loved. It’s true that love is confrontational at times too, but that is not its general purpose.

In any relationship, someone has to do the dishes and clean the toilet. You will probably not feel that love at first sight feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are scrubbing a toilet, but the fact of the matter is that those type of things are just as important in a relationship as anything else is. Sometimes you say you love someone to let them know that you do. Often , though, the way you tell someone that you love them is the small and consistent things that you do for them on a daily basses.Things that don't seem like much, but leave the dirty dishes in the sink for a week and see how that goes over.

In a way, it is exciting news to know that love is more than just a spontaneous feeling. Love is much more than that. It’s much stronger than some random feeling you get for someone and don’t understand why. It is a commitment that transcends the feelings and is fixed in the mind as well as the heart.

Don't Listen to Your Heart

2013-01-08T21:06:00.002-06:00

There is a lot of talk about the heart. We talk about broken hearts. Stolen hearts. Hearts on fire for someone. The villain in Spiderman advises the other side of his personality to "attack the heart." We talk about giving our heart away to someone. The heart is really important yet it seems that most people don't really understand the heart.

It's well-intended and frequently given advise to listen to our heart, but that is terrible advice. We should listen to our heart, like we listen to the Devil--with caution knowing that it is probably a partial truth. Our heart is by nature a problem we need to fix through ingraining the thoughts and wisdom of God into it. We must teach ourselves by God's Word what is right and then do that. Whoever told you to listen to your heart was either very misinformed, trying to hurt you, or had a good heart and didn't realize that most other people do not have good hearts from the start. We need to work and train our hearts. Kind David prayed for help in fixing his heart.

You could say that ever since Adam sinned, the problem of being human has been fixing our hearts that have been given up to darkness. So, whatever you do, don't trust your heart. Trust God. Ask God to help you. Put God's Word into your heart and push out the darkness. Then and only then can you trust your heart. It's always better to trust God. In all things trust God.

We Have Choices, Not a Right

2012-12-28T20:18:00.002-06:00

I was thinking about the choices we have. We have the choice to do what is right or what is wrong, but we don't have the right to do what is right or what is wrong--only the right to do what is right. There are laws that we choose to either break or keep, but we don't have the right to break them--not really. We have the choice to steal from people but not the right. We have the choice to be rude to people or polite--but we don't have the right to be rude. A lot of the times I think we get choices confused with rights. It's probably an American pride thing. Or maybe a human pride thing.

The same thing is true with God. We have the choice to obey God or the choice to sin. But, we don't have the right to sin. We and all of creation rightfully belong to God, who created it all for us--for Him. We don't have the right to sin, only the choice.

In a way, it sounds like we have lost something, like we are not fully free. Not sure why we would want to sin anyway when it comes down to it. But even if we have lost something, we have also gained so much more.

If we really think about it, we have the distinct honor of mattering before God. God made us and cares about us. We may not have the right to sin, but we have the right to God's love, mercy, forgiveness, and all the other blessings that come with the territory of belonging to God. We may not have the right to do whatever we want, but that means that we have the privilege of doing things that God wants.
Why do we want to do what we want to do instead of what God wants us to do, which happens to also be the right thing? I don't know. But I do know that I don't mind it all that much. I matter to God. You do too.

Country Song

2012-12-23T15:31:00.001-06:00

Carheart coats and baseball caps

Old pickup trucks and ammo

Late nights, old rusty coon-traps

Cricket songs and front-porch bands

Sunday services dressed in cammo

Big bear-hugs, and callused working hands

Cowboy boots and Copenhagen

Wrangler pants and a country swagger

Bumper stickers that are still votin’ Reagan

Deep tracks left from Bud’s mud-tires

Where a fancy drink is an ice-cold lager

Dirt roads with friends and bonfires

Bailing hay in boots and overalls

Where a good date is barn-dancing

Up at the crack of dawn, deer-calls

Living and dying for freedom

Respect is important as romancing

Looking forward to Christ’s Kingdom

The Life We Have

2012-12-23T15:30:00.002-06:00

This life we have,

It’s our fields of wheat, corn, and clover

A Song of love that hasn’t grown colder

A song about us that’s never, never over

The knowledge that you can cry on my shoulder
Miles and miles of clear blue skies
The simple song of love in your eyes

It’s not much, but I can’t think of anything I need more

It’s a simple life, built by the hearts of two

It’s the holding the one that I would fight and bleed for

It’s believing in a love that remains true
It’s my favorite tune on grandpa’s fiddle

It’s so much love for a child that’s so little

Just me and you and the little life we dreamed of

Country sunsets, full-moons, and the smell of spring rain

Knowing the world’s better with us teamed-up

It’s feeling the weight of the world’s strain
Seeing your wide smile at the end of a long day

And never running out of words to say

You may like these Goes Without Saying, Time is in the Way if you liked this

Master of My Fate

2012-12-21T21:49:00.002-06:00

What we’re told to do, that is what we spend most of our time doing. It is a crippling thing that robs us of the freedom that we generally as humans thirst after. Anarchy would be one way to literally fight against the system, but is really not any better than the problem it aims to destroy. I have been thinking what can be done to fight back against a system that is constantly telling us what to do. One thing has occurred to me, to but alone respond to circumstances is to make circumstances your master—to have the course of your life dictated by the daily chances that are thrown your way. I do recognize that managing chaos will always be a part of life, but it should never be the sole focus of life. There is a time to let things take their place, but there is also a time to fight back. It’s tempting to set a rule, such as twenty percent of time should be spent dealing with circumstances and the other eighty percent on intentional goals, but there is no cut-and-dry set-in-stone formula to rely on.

If we are faced with a forced decision by circumstances, there is still a choice. We do not have to choose the one that people would like or that we would like. There is freedom in the decision then. We always have a choice.
Another way we have a choice is to go beyond what the circumstances require us to do. From so many places we learn to do what is expected, no more and no less. But when we decide to do more than what is asked or required, we are choosing our own destiny.

There is always room for freedom even within the smallest box that anyone can ever put us in. We always have choices. We are impossibly free. Freedom is really the only thing which we can’t escape from. At best, we can give up our freedom to another, but that still requires a choice and a decision, and a the very same every day after. Freedom is never as far away from you as your will to choose is.

Having the courage to have a will that is a different matter entirely…

It's Personal

2012-12-19T09:46:00.002-06:00

“It’s not personal.” That is what people always say when they are about to do something that hurts you in order to benefit themselves. “It’s not personal,” they says as they treat you unfairly as though you are not as valuable as they are. Truth be told, that is actually kind of personal. It’s as though they are saying that you are not as valuable as they are, that they are justified in being selfish because they are worth it and you are not.

For a long time, I had this idea that I should never take anything personal. I have the type of personality where I can shrug off an insult with relative ease. I can take a slap to the face and walk away with a smile. But, I’ve taken a closer look at that way of thinking—is that really the right response? When people wrong us, isn’t it the natural response to be offended. Is that really wrong. Is it wrong to feel wronged when we have been wronged? When I word the question that way, it sounds obvious. Why would it be wrong to feel wronged when we have been wronged. If we slam our fingers in the door, we feel pain, why is this any different? The simple answer is, it’s not.

When we don’t allow ourselves to take things personal, we step away from one aspect of what it means to be human. We accept attacks and don’t allow ourselves the instinctive reflex that is meant to protect us.

Let me explain what I mean by that. When we deny ourselves the courtesy of taking things personal, we are not dealing with the wound. When someone hurts us, we are hurt. Ignoring the hurt won’t heal the wound. We need to face the pain—take it personally. When we accept the fact that we have been wronged and take it personally, we are acknowledging the fact that we are human, that we have the ability to feel and be hurt. We realize that we are hurt and that matters because we matter. It’s showing ourselves respect.

Although that is the main point that I was trying to make, I should mention that we don’t have the right to hold grudges and become bitter. We need to acknowledge the wound, and then forgive those who inflicted it or else the wound will never heal but grow worse and worse, perhaps even becoming infected and spreading. So, feel pain, and then forgive. Take things personally, but then forgive the person.

Naked Before God, Loved by God

2012-12-18T22:11:00.000-06:00

When Adam and Eve heard God in the Garden, they hid themselves. Whatever happened when they sinned, the realization that they were naked before God set in. There has got to be a deeper meaning than they realized that they had privates. Something about them changed to where they were no longer able to stand before God. They needed something to cover themselves up. They were no longer whole to stand before the God who is completely whole in every way. They had been separated from God. It’s really big news that sin separated them from God. Later on in scripture that truth is reavealed along with God’s plan to reconcile us to Him once more. And inevitably that is what happens. And as great and amazing as that is to think about. The fact of the matter is we (most of us realize that Jesus has brought us back) don’t actually live like we have been bought back.

I was laying here trying to go to sleep, mind drifting from topic to topic as usual. Then the thought challenge occurred to me: imagine you without everything, just you. In a way, imagine the completely naked you. Just the who you are deep down. What does that person look like? Who is that person? Then the realization hit me. We are still trying to cover up our nakedness from God. We are trying to conceal our flaws, faults, and failures. It’s different for different people. Some have big homes, others prestigious jobs. Some it may be family. But at the end of it all, we are truly naked before God. We can’t hide from God. He sees us. He sees us in ways that we fail to see ourselves. He sees the deepest corners of our hearts that we have hidden from ourselves and from others.

Imagine with me a cute little girl. Young and precious like children are. Her dad gives her a tall glass of milk and some of her favorite cookies. Sitting down at the kitchen table together, they share the time in mutual love—unspoken, but true and strong. Suddenly, the little girl spills the milk. Instantly her little hands go up to cover her face in an attempt to hide from her mistake. Of course, the good father who poured her the milk is not angry. He know that his daughter will spill the milk from time to time. Yet, the little girl still hides her face.

We may be adults, but we are still children to God. We are still tender young children. But, we don’t see ourselves that way near enough. We see ourselves as clumsy kids who stumble into sin and error, stupid kids. And we try to hide from ourselves, or rather hide ourselves from God. But we can’t hide from God. Worst of all, there is no reason to hide from God.

After the little girl spills the milk, the good father scoops her up in his arms and tickles her. He does not go out of the way to punish her, but reinforces the fact that he loves her even though she spilled the milk.

We can hide in so many ways, but we can’t hide from the truth that God sees. God sees children whom he holds dear and precious to Him. If you have any reservations in accepting this, try thinking of God as your father—a perfectly loving father who is literally love. A father who loves you, the you that is often hidden.

Underestimate Me

2012-12-17T14:40:00.001-06:00

We seem to constantly underestimate ourselves in every way. When was the last time that you thought you could do something, that when you started to work on it with all you had, you were unable to accomplish it? Most every time I have ever tried to accomplish something, I have discovered that I am able to be successful at it. I suspect the very same thing is true for everyone. When we were younger, our parents, if they are good parents, tell us we can do anything that we want to if we work at it—and we believe them. Somewhere along the way, though, we quit believing that we are enough, that we have what it takes to accomplish the challenges that we face. We start to buy into the lie that we are weak and unable no matter how hard we try.
There are some things that we can’t do. But most of the things that we think are impossible, are really quite possible if we are willing to put in the effort and not allow ourselves to become bullied around by circumstances. There is a lot of talk about having a high self-worth, but it would really be better to have an accurate understanding of true-worth. Rather than try to convince ourselves that we are really valuable, which seems to say that we are not valuable, but it is important for us to think that we are so we need to convince ourselves that it is true, why don’t we figure out what our true-worth is—that we have what it takes if we work hard.

Everyone can become truly great or become truly pitiful. The difference is in large part realizing what greatness is and being willing to take the steps to reach it.

Do you ever grow tired of underestimating yourself? I know I do.