Dignity

Will dignity rule at Michael Jackson farewell?

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:05:00 +0000

A solemn, reverential farewell to Michael Jackson that says more with less – or an unseemly four-ring circus, four being the operative number, that foists the surviving members of the Jackson 5 onto a global television audience for all the wrong reasons.

At tomorrow morning's memorial service to the King of Pop, there will be music, and rightfully so. An Oscars-like guest list of celebrities, including Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor, is also assured, together with some 8,750 fans selected from 1.6 million entrants in an online lottery.

But Jackson's grief-stricken mom Katherine, 79, is determined the occasion will not become an opportunistic spectacle, said sources close to promoter AEG.

An immensely tall order, given the worst instincts of those in the Jackson entourage who see it all as one enormous marketing opportunity.

Katherine Jackson was named temporary administrator of her son's affairs last week before Jackson's will became known.

The will puts his estate, which in an attachment is valued at more than $500 million (U.S.), into a family trust that benefits his three children, his mother and charities.

Katherine Jackson has also been named temporary guardian of Prince Michael Jackson Jr., 12, Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 11, and Prince Michael Joseph Jackson II, 7.

In other developments yesterday, Los Angeles police officials renewed a warning for ticketless Jackson fans to stay away from the Staples Center, saying as many as 1,400 officers will enforce a no-go zone around the arena.

Some Jackson fans are disappointed in what they regard a heavy-handed police approach to the ceremony.

"People around the world are mourning Michael Jackson's death with music and dance, not violence," Shirley Erhart said in an email to the Star. "The big monitors at Staples should be turned on to allow fans to watch peacefully without getting arrested."

Yesterday evening, fans around the world started posting Twitter messages about receiving tickets.

"OMG OMG OMG OMG i got tickets to the Michael Jackson memorial service!!!" tweeted Deka Daye from San Francisco. Other messages came from Scotland and Iran.

Ambreen Ladha, a 23-year-old social worker in Toronto, said she was among the lucky few who won. However, like many others, she immediately put the tickets up for sale on Craigslist – for $250 each.

"It's kind of short notice," she told the Star's Iain Marlow. "I wonder if other people who got them are actually going to go. I guess people are just trying to get some money out of this."To participate in the lottery, fans registered online in the random drawing of 8,750 names. Each person selected receives two tickets. The odds of getting a ticket were about 1 in 183.

Scaling Down (Almost) Painlessly

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:32:00 +0000

Moving to a smaller house or apartment in a retirement community almost always involves a certain degree of trauma, both for the elder who's moving and for family members. However, by planning ahead you can reduce the discomfort involved and turn what might well become a nightmare into a pleasant event.

Begin by Planning for the Move

Where is the elder moving? Go to the actual house or apartment with tape measure, pad and pencil and write down measurements. Floor space is important, but don't forget about ceilings. Many elders own large pieces of furniture that may not fit into rooms with low ceilings. Your work here will determine which pieces can move with your elder.

And while you're at the actual location, talk to several other elders who already live there. What is their life style? Do they go outside the property on frequent trips? How do they dress? Casual lifestyles will require an entirely different style of dress than more formal ones.

Gather Supplies and Contact Helpers

Having all the supplies you will need in one place will speed your task. You'll want a number of storage bins; five or six should be sufficient to hold sorted items. Plastic bags can be used for discarded belongings and as a container for articles to be donated to charities. Packing boxes and supplies such as padding materials and wide sealing tape are must-haves. Labels and dark marking pens are essential to ensure that boxes go to their intended location.

While you're in the gathering stage, begin to contact helpers you'll need. Among these may be:
estate sale professionals
certified appraisers
moving companies
house cleaners
repair specialists (electricians, plumbers, carpenters, painters)

Ask friends, relatives, and senior real estate specialists for recommendations. Also, check with the Better Business Bureau to ascertain whether problems have been reported about particular companies or individuals.

Approach Your Task One Room at a Time

Who should help? The elder and one family member should assume responsibility for sorting all items and some packing. Do not include everyone in the family if you want to make the job quick and easy because distractions increase in geometric proportion to the number of persons doing the sorting.

Sort all the items in one single room at once, beginning and ending in the kitchen. Why start there? Because kitchens in small houses and apartments typically are short on storage space, and the elder needs time and experience to determine which items are true necessities, and which may never be used. If you reduce kitchen items to a bare minimum at the beginning, your elder can determine what's needed and what's not by living with them ahead of time. After living with fewer items, your elder may find that items once thought essential may not be needed. Complete work in the kitchen at the very end of your tasks.

Even though you intend to stay in only one room, distractions will occur. Resist them by stacking items that belong in another room at the door. A bin or box placed just inside the door can contain all the items that have homes elsewhere.

Make your motto One Thing at a Time; One Time for each Thing. Once you've picked up an item, decide then and there what its fate should be. Place it in one of the bins you've labeled:
Discards
Donations
Distribution to Relatives
Keepers
Uncertainties

Large collections of books may require their own bins. You might have bins for Collectors' editions, books to be stored, books to be sold to book dealers.

When you have finished categorizing all the items in the room, start the packing process. Items in the Uncertainties bin can be packed for storage.

If an unbreakable item is to be moved only a short distance, don't waste time on elaborate packing and padding. Items like crystal and china, however, require excellent packing, regardless of the distance they will be moved. If you can't do a great job, leave packing fragile items to professionals.

Mark boxes as you go.

Mark boxes as you go.

Mark boxes as you go.

Nothing is more frustrating than finding that you've shipped your elder's bed linens to Aunt Minnie and kept a silver salver you meant to send your nephew.

Don't try to do everything at once. Do only one room on any given day, and take the time to enjoy reminiscing as you sort items.

This is also the perfect time to have a certified appraiser come in to appraise items that may be of significant value. Very expensive items may be auctioned at an auction house such as Christy's or Sotheby's. Less expensive items can be sold to local antiques dealers. By having an idea of their value before going to dealers, you reduce the chance that dealers can scam you.

You could also consider selling items through an on-line auction. If you do so, remember that you will be responsible for shipping items and ensuring their condition to successful bidders.

Distribute Items to the Intended Recipients

Schedule a single day for distribution of items. In-town relatives can come to pick up items intended for them; they may also be helpful by taking bags to charities, books to resellers, boxes to storage, and trash to dumps.

Use this day for shipping as well. Small items can be shipped via UPS or FedEx; large pieces of furniture and antiques may require special handling by movers. Once you've finished distribution, you should have a considerably reduced pile of boxes and furniture. These boxes should contain only items to be moved to the elder's new residence or to storage. Remaining items should be those to be sold in an estate sale.

Move the Elder to His New Residence

Will the mover actually show up on time? Will the mover actually show up at all? Increase the probability of a good outcome for the move by contacting the mover to confirm arrangement a week ahead and the day before the actual move is scheduled. Of course, missed appointments may still occur, but if you've checked out the company with the Better Business Bureau and reminded the company of your appointment, the chances are good that the move will go as planned.

Accompany your elder to his new residence and help him with the moving-in process. Even if not all boxes can be emptied in a single day, he will feel more comfortable if a few items that are meaningful to him are unpacked and placed where he can find them.

Hold an Estate Sale

Once the movers have left the premises, the estate sale professionals should come in to evaluate and price items for the estate sale. Give them a key to the house, and then get out of their way. If you have chosen well, these professionals can do a great job of pricing items to sell and clearing the house of whatever remains. They will take a percentage of the sale receipts as compensation.

The days of the sale are good days to keep your elder busy elsewhere. A tearful elder does nothing to help sales.

Schedule a professional cleaning service to clean the house once the estate sale is over. When that has been completed to your satisfaction, turn the keys over to your senior real estate professional and give yourself a big pat on the back. You're done!

If Using The Stairs Has Become A Daily Struggle, A Stair lift Could Change Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 12:24:00 +0000

Using stairs is an everyday nightmare for many people. As we grow older the stairs in our home can become more of a struggle due to mobility problems associated with old age, an accident or illness. Often when out shopping or in a public place an alternative can be found such as a lift or escalator, but the stairs at home can become a daily challenge. Many people who experience difficulty climbing the stairs come to dread having to use them. For people whose bathroom or toilet is upstairs it can be even more of an issue.

When faced with the challenges that limited mobility brings to the home, there are several options. An expensive and disruptive choice is to move into a bungalow, which can be very stressful, especially if the move is away from family and friends. Some people are forced simply to live downstairs. This can lead to a fall in their standard of living, from lack of space and privacy. Another option is to extend the living space downstairs, which can be costly and disruptive and may not be worth the effort when it comes to selling the house. Other people do nothing at all and continue to struggle on a daily basis, increasing their risk of injury from falling.

But there is really no need to continue to live in dread of the stairs or make drastic decisions such as to move. Having a stair lift installed has made life easier for thousands of people with limited mobility. Buying a stair lift can really improve quality of life for someone who wants to stay independent in their own home. The initial cost may be daunting but that needs to be weighed up against the alternative costs and inconvenience of moving to a bungalow or extending the downstairs.

There are many advantages of choosing a stair lift. Out of all the options mentioned above, having a stair lift installed causes the least disruption. In fact, after an initial visit from a representative of the stair lift company to take measurements of the staircase, a stairlift can be installed within a day. The color and upholstery can be chosen especially to blend in or compliment the existing décor. Stair lifts are safe and very easy to operate. And above all for a person with limited mobility a stair lift can give them some freedom and allow them to remain in their own home.

5 Myths You Should Know Before Choosing Elder Care

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:03:00 +0000

Myths associated with selecting quality nursing home care suggest quick and easy ways to identify quality care. In fact, relying on these myths can lead to disastrous results. I have identified a few of the most common myths in hopes of helping you avoid some of the problems commonly found in many nursing homes.

1. The Smell Test

You've heard it repeatedly: "The best way to determine the quality of care a nursing home provides is to be alert to bad odors when you visit the home."

It seldom, if ever, works. Why? Nursing home administrators have heard the very same advice. As a result, they are particularly sensitive to unpleasant odors in any area that might receive visitors. Almost all will do their best to remove offensive odors as quickly as possible, even when it means avoiding their primary responsibility to their residents.

2. The Personal Recommendation

Recently, I heard a guest on a radio talk show state that the very best way to find great nursing home care is to get recommendations from a friend. Like other myths, there is a grain of truth here, but you must check whether your friend has had extensive interactions with the nursing home recommended. Often that is not the case.

Last weekend I dealt with an emergency call from Jim, a friend who had placed his mother in a nursing home recommended by a friend. Although she was recuperating from a stroke, no nurse or aide checked on her condition for more than 14 hours. Jim discovered her in the morning with many cuts and bruises, her bedsheets soaked in blood. He was astonished that anyone would recommend such a poor care facility.

"My friend said her grandmother was in this particular nursing home," he reported. "So, I thought it would be good care."

"How often does your friend visit her grandmother?" I asked him.

"I didn't think to ask," he responded.

"And did you check the latest survey for that nursing home?"

"No," he answered. "I thought a personal recommendation was all I needed."

Jim's mother is now back in an area hospital. No one knows yet how much damage this experience caused to her recovery.

3. You Get What You Pay For

Nowhere is this statement less applicable than in nursing home care. In fact, I'd replace it with another shibboleth -- "Buyer Beware." Our own research, encompassing more than 6000 nursing homes and more than 100 assisted living facilities shows no relationship between cost and quality of care. You may find quality care in an expensive facility, or you may not! Similarly, the fact that a facility is low-cost does not indicate whether you'll get poor, average, or quality care. You have to do your homework. Relying on price as the sole indicator of quality care can lead to disastrous results.

4. Adequate Staffing Equals Quality Care

A recent report by the Senate's Special Committee on Aging indicated that quality care for a single nursing home resident requires more than three hours each day of nursing and nursing aide time. However, statistical analysis of the latest federal database on nursing home deficiencies indicates no relationship between quality of care and staffing levels. This finding is consistent with a number of university studies.

What should you look for, then, in nursing home staffing levels?

There is a level below which nursing homes are so understaffed that quality care can not be provided. I'd suggest that you not consider any home providing a level less than two hours per day per resident. For levels greater than this, I'd focus not on the number of hours available for care but on the motivation of staff available to provide care. Those who are motivated to care for the elderly will do so. Those who are motivated only by a paycheck will probably provide shoddy care regardless of their numbers.

5. A Well-Known Chain Will Provide the Best Care

This is another myth that can lead to tragedy. Sometimes, well- known companies do provide top-quality care. In other instances, however, a quick review of newspapers and magazines will show you other companies with long records of legal troubles stemming from accusations of neglect and abuse. One such company has been sued simultaneously by several states' attorneys general.

How will you know? The company is not likely to tell you, so you won't know unless you take the time to look into the company's historical performance.

There you have it -- 5 myths exploded!

What does work? There is no substitute for your own personal investigation. With a little research, with personal visits to nursing homes before you sign anything, you can avoid many of the difficulties that have come to those who relied on such myths.

My Teenaged Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 07:39:00 +0000

Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled. But, as the single parent of teenagers, I stunk! Faced with the reality of children who could (and did) do whatever they really, really wanted to do, I was often baffled.

Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing -- It's no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out!

Consider this recent exchange:

ME: "How is that new medication working?"

PARENT: "It doesn't work. I still feel sick."
ME: "OK, call the doctor and tell him."
PARENT: "I can't. He doesn't answer calls on the weekend."
ME: "Well, someone does."
PARENT: "No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room."
ME: "OK, call the doctor's office on Monday."
PARENT: "Well, he doesn't have anything better to offer."
ME: "How do you know?"
PARENT: "He never does."
ME: "Well, call anyway, OK?"
PARENT: "He doesn't pay any attention to me."
ME: "He can't help if he doesn't know you're still sick. So, call, OK?"
PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.
ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?"
PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today."
ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?"
PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!"

I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be.

Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over.

I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits:

Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great.

Stay and serve it. Even greater!

Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to.

Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while.

Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful.

Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself.

Lobby your Representatives and Senators for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation.

Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants!

About The Author

Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. - Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer's disease.

Respiratory Help Is Available For Seniors With COPD

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Fri, 30 May 2008 07:37:00 +0000

As HMOs Continue to Drop Coverage for Seniors - Now Over 500,000 Victims - Those Needing Expensive Respiratory Medication, Support and Homecare Services are the Hardest Hit

One Patient Advocate, Geriatric Services of America, is Providing Relief to Victimized Patients Through a Unique, Often No-Cost Program

More than 536,000 US senior citizens are scrambling to find new doctors or new coverage because their health plans terminated their Medicare managed-care services, according to a Nonrenewal Report issued by the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services for the year 2002. Among the hardest hit are seniors in California (84,000), Florida (59,000), Pennsylvania (55,000), New Jersey (53,000), Texas (46,000), and Michigan (31,000), who will be losing coverage in the coming year. Even those with continuing coverage face substantial premium hikes and dwindling drug benefits. Particularly hard hit will be those with chronic illnesses such as respiratory disease, who will bear the brunt of high medication and healthcare costs.

Though all seniors 65 and older are covered by Medicare, those enrolled in managed-care programs agree to see doctors within a limited network and receive additional benefits, such as preventative care and prescription-drug coverage. The current coverage crisis stems from rising delivery costs and limited government reimbursement, as doctors and hospitals increasingly balk at seeing Medicare HMO patients, since they aren't sufficiently reimbursed for their services. Without enough doctors and hospitals providing care, an HMO can't serve its members. The problem is worst in large urban markets, where more than half of Medicare + Choice beneficiaries live nationwide but where reimbursement rate increases have trailed rising costs since 1997.

To compensate for the funding shortfall, premiums for seniors retaining Medicare HMO coverage are expected to spike while benefits dwindle in the coming year. In California's Sacramento-area, for example, monthly premiums for Kaiser Permanente's Senior Advantage Medicare Plan will double from $40 to $80 starting Jan. 1st. Healthnet, following suit, is raising premiums 50 percent, from $40 to $60 per month for its Seniority Plus members in the area. Pacificare and Western Health Advantage, while holding monthly premiums at $50 in their Sacramento-area Medicare plans, will eliminate brand name drug coverage next year.

Across the nation, seniors caught between rising premiums and shrinking coverage will find themselves in a similar bind. Even those with Medigap policies will feel the squeeze. Medigap policies A through J, for instance, have minimum standard benefit packages, and the H, I, and J plans covering prescriptions have annual drug caps ranging from $1,250 to $2,000.

For the 30 million Americans with a Chronic Obstruction Pulmonary Disease (COPD) such as asthma, emphysema or cystic fibrosis - collectively the fourth leading cause of death in the US, however, help is available with Geriatric Services of America (GSA), a national community service organization based in Tempe, Arizona which provides direct help and support to older Americans suffering from chronic respiratory disease. Through its Respiratory Disease Control Program, GSA provides access to a comprehensive range of special medication benefits, as well as support and homecare services, which eliminates out-of-pocket expenses for patients with primary or supplemental insurance coverage.

Through GSA's patient support center, nebulizers and respiratory medication are provided and paid for with free home delivery, conveniently packaged and ready to use. GSA handles all paperwork, and clinical Patient Care Coordinators work with doctors and insurance companies once a patient has enrolled in the Respiratory Disease Control Program. Patients can enroll themselves in the program; there is nothing to buy, and no enrollment or membership fees.

Currently, Medicare, AARP, Blue Cross, Blue Shield, and over 180 other insurers have special benefits for patients with respiratory disease. GSA provides access to these benefits, and coordinates all elements of care to help patients, doctors, and insurance companies combat respiratory disease.

At a time when US seniors face restricted health care access, rising premiums, and shrinking benefits, GSA stands out as a welcome ally for those needing respiratory medication benefits, support, or homecare services. For more information about GSA, or how someone you know can enroll in this special wellcare program, write to 4812 South Mill Ave., Tempe, AZ 85282; call 800-307-8048; fax 800-345-2425; or email Gary Rheault directly at grheault@geriatricservices.com.

Angels Are Reaching Out to the Elderly

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Wed, 28 May 2008 07:35:00 +0000

I am reminded time after time of the profound effect Angels have on people. Recently, I have been receiving manyemails containing examples of how the Angels are reaching through the veils to assist the elderly. The elderly respond to Angel Paintings with a knowingness of love and illumination that comes from within them. Sometimes the reactions have been as though they are recognizing an old friend.

One example was a client emailing me to let me know of the response of woman who suffered from Alzheimer's. The responseto the Angel painting that had been commissioned was very profound from my understanding. The woman took onelook at the painting, reached for it and refused to be parted with it and for the rest of the day had to keep it in her lap as she was wheeled around in her wheelchair.

Another email stated:

Sharae,

As you know, your angelic paintings of our Guardian Angels have, from the day we received them, blessed all of our lives in one way or the other. Upon receipt of Marge's (My Mother) we were all stunned to see the uncanny parallels in what you were given to paint by the angels and what is actual reality. The colors, the subject, the roses!!! As you have learned, she had a stroke 2 years ago and this painting has provided her with an everlasting source of inspiration and hope. She has it hung in her bedroom so that she may look at her angel when she nods off to sleep at night and when she first awakes in the morning. This painting speaks volumes to her and keeps her motivated to continue therapy and to trudge on when all seems lost. She is doing very well! Ray's (My Father) has also provided him with the strength to not only take care of my mother but gives him the where withall to still take care of himself, his family and his business. He too has his angel next to my Mother's in that he can see it before nodding off at night and again in the morning when he awakes. I really, honestly, know that these angels; that have been presented to them through you, have helped them more than anyone could possibly imagine. Again, they are a source of constant inspiration and they have provided many wonderful thoughts and actions upon all who see them.

My parents mean the world to me and I thank you from the depths of my heart for being the link to actually seeing their angels. I know that we are not in control of many things that happen to us in life, however, just in knowing ... and seeing ... that we all do have guardian angels that are there for us, definitely helps to put things into perspective and yields a very positive attitude towards life. How could it not? Sometimes we cannot see the forest through the trees ... with the light that you have shined on my family we are not only seeing the forest but we now know that we are part of the whole process of life and take nothing for granted. For each day is a very special one and thanks to you, we know, even when we are "alone" we are never alone.

Once again, thank you with everything in me. And on behalf of my parents I thank you as well.

J. J.
Wilmington, Delaware

I accept there is more to Angelic art than meets the eye. I wonder in what ways this form of art could be used in hospitals,nursing homes, etc.? I know some people would probably react as forcing someone else's religion on another, but some formof Angel is in every religion as Angels are of no one religion. Angels are for everyone.

When the Box is Empty

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Mon, 26 May 2008 07:34:00 +0000

The King had a modest kingdom. He was Danish. This meant he was proud, tall, athletic and he enjoyed a quick wit. He was married to a princess from Great Britain at a very young age. They were both really just children when they began their own family.

They had three children, two boys and a girl. The children all shared one common aim, to make the King proud. Each child vied for the King’s attention and love, each using a different strategy.

The eldest son used music to make his father proud. The middle child, the daughter used humor and dancing. The youngest chose sports, knowing his father had once been a great athlete, a champion in several sports.

They had a modest castle, the King always worked hard to provide for his family. Demonstrating affection wasn’t something he was ever comfortable with. So, in his own way, he captured treasured moments by making or collecting trinkets. Each little symbol represented a special family moment. Some were shiny, golden; still others were like little bells that made a sound when you picked them up. There was a story for each trinket.

You see the King was a gifted storyteller. At dinner he would open up the box and hold up a trinket and smile. He would look up and to the right, and then tell a wonderful story that would have the children laughing, crying or shaking their head in disbelief.

Telling stories became a family tradition.

He encouraged the children to begin collecting their own trinkets and stories.

As it is with most children, they obeyed their father and began filling up their boxes with symbols. Though the children were
never very close, there were moments of family joy. They were all very busy trying to please the King with their respective gifts.

As the years went by, the Kings Box became a giant chest, ornate, hand carved and full of trinkets. As the King grew older the quality and quantity of the contents of the chest improved. Soon the children had children of their own and they maintained the ritual of stories at the dinner table.

One day, the King reached in his box for a specific trinket and found it missing.

Thinking this somewhat odd, he thought perhaps he might have given it to his youngest son. He forgot about it. The next day, the same thing happened; a specific trinket was not to be found.

What the King did not know was a thief had snuck in the night and stolen the shiniest trinket. The thief liked the trinket so much, the next night he took a different one.

Because there were so many at first the King didn’t notice. You see, this thief in the night was relentless, insidious, crafty and brutal. He was sneaking into his chambers and quietly pinching the King’s most treasured possessions, his memories.

One night the Queen heard a noise that startled her. She lit a match and held up the candle beside the bed. Holding it up high
she saw the thief…it was a raccoon! He had a little bell in his hands. The light scared him and he scurried off with the bell.

The queen had long since suspected something was wrong, now she knew. She gave it a name. That terrible raccoon. The King
wasn’t crazy and neither was she. Something really was taking the King’s most treasured gifts.

The next day they put a lock on the chest. That would stop the thief. The raccoon was too crafty. He picked the lock and kept
stealing trinkets every night. The queen tried an alarm, a special light, and guard dogs, nothing worked. Each night the raccoon kept stealing the King’s prizes. One day the box was empty! It was a sad day in the kingdom. The children came and sat at the feet the of the King and Queen and cried.

There was nothing to do.

All the memories were gone. The King had no more stories to tell. He was silent. He sat there with a far away look. That was how it was going to be. That is life when the box is empty.

After a time, when the pain of the empty box came a little easier to accept, the Queen said to her children, go home, go through your chests, your boxes of trinkets. Choose the best ones. Each time you come to visit the King, bring a trinket and we shall put it in your father’s box. We shall tell that story, and laugh, cry and enjoy it as something special. I will guard it.

I will keep a constant vigil. In this way, the raccoon can never take your stories. When we get together we shall honor the King in this special way.

So it was, once a week, the children would bring their children for a visit and drop a trinket in the box. This brought the children together in a way that never existed before.

The raccoon was very unhappy about all this. He still tried to get in the castle, but the love of the family kept him on the outside, looking in. Though he tried to keep stealing as thieves do, he never took another trinket.

Love does that. It’s not something even the smartest thief in the world can take. That was the lesson learned in the Kingdom.

The box was full until the day the King finally passed away. When he did, he was surrounded by children, grandchildren, stories, trinkets and love.

Only one life that soon is past; only what’s done with love will last.

To people all over the world, that ever suffered the terrible pain of losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s. I understand your pain. The night I read this story to my youngest son Evan, we wept together, holding each other tight. I pray science one day finds a cure for this terrible disease. In the meantime, may this little story bring you and your family comfort. May it bring your family a little closer together, as it has mine. Send this story to someone you know that is suffering. Perhaps it will heal the pain of loss for them or their children just a little bit. Grief is a form of energy and must find a way out. My hope is you make the time to put some trinkets in your family’s box. It won’t feel quite so empty.

Hinged Rail Stair Lifts

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sat, 24 May 2008 07:33:00 +0000

If a door at the top or the bottom of the stairs may be blocked by the rail of the stairlift, there are a number of models designed to overcome this problem. Some manufacturers are able to produce a rail with reduced overhang upstairs, so the lift will not protrude as far into the hallway. This may solve the problem at the top of your stairs and is a very cost effective solution.

If there is a door or passageway at the bottom of the stairs then it is likely that you will need a folding track or hinged rail stairlift. This means that the bottom section of the rail can be folded out of the way when the lift is not being used. This will allow you to gain access to a door that would be blocked by a normal rail and also means that there is no tripping hazard if you have an open hallway downstairs.

The hinged rail option is available from most suppliers but the cost and quality can vary greatly. Seek independent advice and consider if you would be able to fold the rail manually or if you would require powered operation. Most people do need the powered version as the mechanism can be quite heavy. Unfortunately these options will add to the cost of the lift.

The only other option is to stop the rail of the lift short, to prevent it protruding as far into the hallway. This might make getting off the lift dangerous and is not an ideal solution by any means. Again you must seek advice, preferably from an occupational therapist. Also take into account that while you may be able to use the lift this way in the short term you may find it impossible in the future. Some companies may not consider it an option as they feel there is too much risk involved.

Who's Gonna Take Care of You When You're Old?

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Thu, 22 May 2008 07:31:00 +0000

I finally went to the doctor this morning for my bad cold. My appointment was for 9:30 am and yet I didn't get home until after 1:00 pm.

I'd asked the doctor to call in my prescription so I stopped at the store to pick it up on my way home. I was standing in line coughing and making people frown at me when I noticed this elderly couple. The woman got out of line and took her husband (he was blind) to sit in one of the chairs that are off to the side. And she started walking away. Well, I’m not paying much attention to them, I just want to get my medicine and go home and get back in the bed. I get my prescription and go to my truck to leave. WHY I SEE THE LITTLE OLD LADY OUTSIDE INCHING ACROSS THE PARKING LOT USING AN OLD UMBRELLA AS A CANE?????????? Geez!

So I pull up next to her and ask her where she was going. She said she had to go to the bank to get some money to pay for the medicine and their groceries. Now keep in mind that the bank is across this busy azz street which accesses the interstate. So…I get out of my truck and help her into the passenger seat. I drive her to the bank. While driving, she tells me that this elderly bus thing picked them up and dropped them off at Safeway and would be back to pick them up at 2:00. WHAT THE HECK?????????

Oh...she'd given her cane to someone "who had nothing" so they could use it and had to use the umbrella until she got another one. *sigh*

Okay…so I take her back to the store…I’m hacking the whole way sounding like a water egress or a crane but there was no way I could leave those two old people sitting out front of the store until the bus thing showed back up. *sigh*

So…..I helped her get her groceries. (IT TOOK FOREVER!!!!!) and then I put her and her husband in my truck and took them home. I stopped at Eckerds and bought her a new cane. It was only $19.99 and she was gonna bust her butt with that umbrella.

Now here's the sticker. It turns out that they have a son who is a doctor. His azz lives in Ohio. He bought them a house…but they have absolutely no help. NONE! The woman has heart problems and the man is blind and they have to rely on the elderly bus to take them around to doctor's appointments, etc. I’m thinking to myself…there would be no way I’d let my mama and daddy live like that. I’d either move them to Ohio or I’d move and be closer to them. I mean dang…a doctor can get a job anywhere.

Anyway…you KNOW I gave them my number…and this voice that sounded like mine told them to call if they ever needed something. *sigh*

But listen to this…after I unloaded them and their groceries…the lady tried to give me some money for gas. I was like…ma’am please…my heart would hurt too much if I took something from you. Then she said…well..only God can repay you. How may I pray for you? I said to pray that I have healthy babies one day. And she said…better than that…I’ll pray you have healthy babies whom will take care of you in your old age. Wow. That said a lot.

*sigh* I’m sad for them. Their son sucks.

Skilled Nursing Homes - What Are They?

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Tue, 20 May 2008 07:15:00 +0000

A skilled nursing home is a medical facility providing services similar to a hospital. The homes are staffed with licensed nurses, shared rooms, hospital beds, regular scheduled doctor rounds, meals and housekeeping. Skilled nursing homes often provide a more pleasant setting with optimal nurse to patient ratios and relaxed atmospheres.

Skilled nursing homes provide both long-term and short-term care solutions for seniors. Unlike Assisted Living or Board and Care homes, skilled nursing homes provide solutions for patients with complex medical issues that require 24-hour supervision. These issues can include mental issues such as dementia and physical issues such as major infections, wound care, IV therapy, tube feeding and physical/occupational therapy. Skilled nursing facilities are also a common solution for seniors that are unable to care for themselves on daily basis such as those suffering from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.

A skilled nursing home typically provides a team approach when providing medical care to patients. A licensed individual, usually called the “administrator”, oversees the departments comprising the skilled nursing home. A licensed Director of Nursing [“D.O.N.”] is then responsible for the administration of each department providing care to residents. Each D.O.N. is directly involved in the medical care of each patient. Their duties include overseeing nurses, interacting with physicians and resolving any patient-related issues. In essence, the D.O.N. is the person overseeing the day-to-day medical care of the patient.

In addition to the Director of Nursing, a skilled nursing home will customarily have other professionals on staff to assist patients. A med nurse is always assigned for the sole purpose of administering medications prescribed for the patients. Physical and occupational therapists also work within the structure of care, coordinating specifically ordered therapies and reporting progress to doctors. An activities director is in charge of all social interaction and planned activities. Finally, a social worker is typically on staff to assist patients with emotional issues and arrangements for their care after discharge.

New Hope for Alzheimer's Treatment

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 18 May 2008 07:14:00 +0000

There is now widespread agreement among research scientists and medical professionals that Alzheimer’s Disease (AD) is a problem quickly growing to vast proportions. As the life expectancy of Americans continues to rise, increasing the percentage of the population over 65 years of age, so does the number of Alzheimer’s cases.

It is currently estimated that people over 65 years of age have a 10% chance of developing Alzheimer’s, while those over 85 have a 50% likelihood of developing AD, making it the leading cause of dementia among older people. Though the disease is associated primarily with memory loss, its effects also comprise a number of other severe disabilities, including changes in personality, disorientation, difficulty with speech and comprehension, and a lack of ability to move normally.

Consequently, most Alzheimer’s patients require a great deal of care, costing society close to $100 billion annually. According to Christian Fritze, Ph.D., Director of the Antibody Products Division at Covance Research Products, "The impact of Alzheimer's Disease on our society will only increase as our population ages. The prevalence of the disease and disabling effects on the patient are significant by themselves. In addition we are becoming increasingly aware of the far-reaching effects on families, care-giver networks and the economics of our health care system. The drive for progress towards effective treatments by the research and drug development community is growing stronger every day."

A New Consensus

But recent developments in the medical research community do provide some hope. During the last two years, there has been a growing consensus among Alzheimer researchers about the cause of Alzheimer’s disease, providing focus for scientists exploring the new treatment options.

The focus is on amyloid beta oligomers, a new wrinkle on an older hypothesis called the “amyloid cascade hypothesis”. Widespread acceptance of this new conclusion is something of a milestone in the history of Alzheimer’s research. As Dr. Fritze says, "The decades old quest for the causative agent in Alzheimer's Disease has recently focused on the precursors of amyloid plaques. These precursors are part of a bewildering array of processed (APP) Amyloid Precursor Protein) variants, Tau isoforms and secretase components that play a role in neuronal cytotoxicity and subsequent brain dysfunction.”

Amyloid plaques are sticky protein deposits in the brain containing amyloid beta peptide. Researchers have associated the buildup of this plaque with Alzheimer’s disease since its discovery in 1907. But despite the clear correlation, scientists were not sure what, exactly, spurred the onset of Alzheimer’s Disease.

The hypothesis that amyloid beta accumulation in the brain is the major cause of Alzheimer’s Disease1 has been the focus of much attention over the past decade. Although this hypothesis was the leading explanation for the cause of AD, it had several weaknesses. The most obvious problem with the theory was the fact that the buildup of amyloid beta peptides did not necessarily correspond with the severity of Alzheimer’s symptoms.

However, in 19982 and in 20023, researchers proposed that it was not the amyloid beta plaques themselves that were neurotoxic – and therefore the cause of Alzheimer’s – but rather precursors to amyloid beta plaques formed by smaller aggregates of amyloid beta. These new ideas are gaining widespread acceptance among the Alzheimer’s research community, creating a consensus that had not existed before.

This new focus provides one more spur to action for Alzheimer’s researchers, and underscores the need for further advancement. “The AD field demands sophisticated, highly-sensitive research tools to track these components and quantitate the existence of monomeric, oligomeric and fibrillar amyloid forms present in the progression of Alzheimer's disease,” says Dr. Fritze.

Antibody Treatment

Two new studies, both released in October 20044, suggest that new treatment options may be on the horizon. The studies are the modification of one of two previous attempts using amyloid beta (Aβ) antibodies in the treatment of Alzheimer’s Disease. The previous attempts, though not successful, did at least suggest new courses of action in Alzheimer’s research and provided invaluable information for researchers.

In the first of the two previous attempts, researchers injected the antigen itself – pieces of the beta amyloid protein that makes up amyloid plaque – into mice, in the hopes that the injections would generate an immune (antibody) response against amyloid. Results were initially positive. The injected antigen produced Aβ antibodies and slowed the onset of the disease by decreasing Aβ levels. However, when tried on humans, the procedure led to meningoencephalitis (an inflammation of tissue around the brain) in some patients, and was therefore halted.

In the second attempt, a passive immunity therapy was tried in which antibodies to amyloid beta (not amyloid protein) were injected into mice, but hemorrhaging and inflammation ensued due to the high antibody doses required to be effective.

New Hope

But now there appears to be new hope for the use of antibodies as therapeutic agents for the treatment of Alzheimer’s patients. In the first of the two new studies that appeared in October conducted by the National Institute for Longevity Sciences, NCGG, and the Center for Neurological Diseases, Brigham & Women’s College, Harvard Institute of Medicine, researchers modified the first procedure. Concluding that the meningoenchaphalitis which occurred in some patients was caused by autoimmune T-cell activation, the researchers hoped to develop a vaccine that could minimize this T-cell activation while retaining the production of Aß antibodies.

To accomplish this they created an oral vaccine that attached Aß DNA to an adeno-associated virus vector, which served to mitigate T-cell activation. Thus they were able to decrease Aß levels in the brains of the mice and yet not activate T-cells to the degree they had before, greatly reducing the risk of meningoencephalitis.

In the other new study, conducted at the University of Illinois at Chicago, researchers succeeded in making the passive immunity protocol much safer. This they accomplished by changing the point of entry for the Aß antibodies. Rather than injecting the antibodies into the body of the mice, as was done previously, antibody was injected directly into the brain of the mice. Because the antibodies were injected directly into the brain, smaller doses were needed, and side effects were minimized.

The results of the above studies, and the potential for further optimized immunization strategies may prove to be watershed events in the history of Alzheimer’s treatment.

Covance is a leading provider of innovative antibody products and custom antibody development services to the research community for Alzheimer’s disease. Visit www.Covance.com for more in-depth information and to view the suite of products for Alzheimer’s disease. Boris Predovich is Vice President of Immunology and Surgical Services at Covance Research Products.

Notes

1. J.A. Hardy, G.A. Higgins (1992), Science, 256:184-5.
2. M.P. Lambert et al (1998), Proc Natl Acad Sci, 95:6448-53.
3. D.M. Walsh et al (2002), Nature, 416:535-9.
4. Neelima B. Chauhan et al (2004), Journal of Neuroscience Research, 78, 5:732-741.
Hideo Hara et al (2004), Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease, 6, 5:483-488.

Advocate For Senior Citizens - Protecting Against Abuse and Fraud

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 04 May 2008 16:26:00 +0000

Ruth is 87 years old this year and has been living alone since 1997. She is in good health, however the daily chores around the home became increasingly difficult. Ruth turned to her church bulletin and found a ‘Home Care Company’ advertised.

Ruth is not unique in the fact that she is widowed and lives alone. According to the ‘2002 A Profile of Older Americans’ published by the Administration on Aging (http://www.aoa.gov/aoa/stats/profile/4.html) 41% of women age 65 and over, are widowed and live alone.

“The ad was in the church bulletin, I assumed this was a good company,” her voice cracking from the pain and embarrassment this home care service eventually caused her.

Unfortunately, Ruth is also not alone in the fact that she became victim to fraud. According to U.S. Senator Larry Craig, past ranking member of the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, ‘Vulnerable elders are being abused, neglected and exploited within their own homes and communities at an a alarming rate.’

“The lady they sent to me was well groomed, she was polite, and I had no reason to distrust her. You could tell she was from a good family …” Ruth went on to justify how quickly she was robbed of $4,200.

Barbara Mascio, founder of Senior Approved Services, states “Ruth’s story was just one of many incidences of abuse that I learned of while employed with a national home care company. The stories of abuse and fraud against this precious generation became the driving force behind the creation of Senior Approved Services.”

Senior Approved Services actively assists in protecting seniors by helping to connect them with businesses that have a verified history of providing excellent care. “We remain actively involved, a link between the senior receiving care and the business providing the care.”

“We are building a nationwide network of services, resources and products that seniors and their family caregivers can feel safe in contracting with. We are inviting all those concerned with the right of all seniors to receive excellent and safe care to help.”

See http://www.seniorsapprove.com for current listings of Certified Senior Approved Services or phone the Cleveland Ohio office at 216-883-3163 during normal business hours.

Help promote awareness and help senior citizens avoid a business that may pose a threat to this vulnerable population, see http://www.qualityeldercare.com/advocate.html and also http://www.qualityeldercare.com/employ

Marketing, Selling, and Serving the Older Adult, Senior Citizens, Family Caregivers

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sat, 03 May 2008 16:24:00 +0000

Are your clients pleased by the fine quality service that you provide? Validating your clients’ endorsement of you through Certification as a Senior Approved Service will increase your client base. Senior Approved Certification leads a family towards a service like yours side stepping the possibility of connecting with a less than desirable service.

If you serve the older adult, the disabled or those with chronic illnesses you may qualify for an independent consumer-driven survey process leading to certification as a Senior Approved Service.

You will not pay for clients, leads or referrals. You will not violate HIPAA or the Anti-kickback rulings. You will not pay for membership or advertising space.

Certifications are offered for medical, non-medical, alternative healing practices, housing, elder-law, and financial planners – virtually any type of business that reaches this population. “We are building the ultimate one-call solution," states Barbara Mascio, founder. “Seniors are need of many kinds of service, including lawn care, handyman services and so on. We save the headache of shopping around and completely remove the guess work.”

Confident business owners recognize the benefits of being part of an exclusive network of Certified Senior Approved Services. See http://www.qualityeldercare.com/senior-services.html

Jean F. Wales, President of Wales Consulting LLC and Author of "Do It Now! An Organizing Handbook for Families and Senior Citizens writes Becoming a Senior Approved Service instantly raised the credibility of my book "Do It Now! An Organizing Handbook for Families and Senior Citizens. http://www.seniorsapprove.com/organizing.html

Ester Whitney, owner of Sweet Adeline's Home writes I feel I have been given a great opportunity to be the first Residential Home Care Provider to be approved by Senior Approved Services in the Dallas Area … everyone has been impressed … http://www.sweetadelineshomes.com/

Tony Latina and Peggy Schmidt, co-owners of Advanced Laser Solutions writes We have had nothing but positive feedback from the referrals from Senior Approved Services. They have been excellent to work with and we strongly recommend them. http://www.seniorsapprove.com/stop_smoking.html

Paul Stone, owner of Occasional Help for Seniors a general cleaning and handyman service writes We are so proud to be Certified as a Senior Approved Service. Putting this on our brochures, business cards and other advertisement pieces has clearly, without a doubt, increased our client base. Barbara is right; seniors need services but are afraid or confused about which one to call. http://www.seniorsapprove.com/occasional-help.html

See http://www.qualityeldercare.com/providers for details. Mention Savings Code 0630 when you apply for certification.

Barbara Mascio, Founder of Senior Approved Services - a National Network of Products, Resources and Services Endorsed by Seniors

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barbara_Mascio

Caring for Aging Relatives

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:23:00 +0000

It happens somewhat slowly in the beginning, maybe with a small cough that gets worse as time goes on. It might simply begin with absent mindedness which is totally out of character, followed by total memory lapses. What do we do when our parents eventually need taking care of after they have spent so much of their adult lives taking care of us? What precisely is a child’s responsibility to them? Is it self-centered to relocate them into an assisted home? And which siblings should shoulder the responsibility? These are questions which plague families whenever a parent happens to become sick.

It is certainly very normal for feelings of guilt and even occasionally depression to happen to you because of a deteriorating parent. But happily there are some good associations that do offer expert advice on coping with these problems. And there are specialists in this arena who can work with you to help you through the hard times.

Local hospitals, hospices and nursing homes usually have such names and numbers to assist you in this regard. If your dad feels certain that someone has broken into the house just to steal his chocolate when he has in fact eaten it himself, do not argue with him or say that his theories are irrational. Just calmly acknowledge how he feels and make him feel safe and loved. Do small things to alleviate his fears like simply letting him see you lock the doors or secure the windows at night before going to bed. If you get an unsatisfactory attitude from his physician, take him to a geriatric psychiatrist for further examination.

Erratic behavior is one of the earlies warning signals of dementia. If your mom starts cussing at the dinner table in front of the kids just because her steak is a bit undercooked, correct her calmly by teaching her the appropriate behavior: “Excuse me, my steak is a little undercooked, can you put it back on the grill for me please?”

Never resort to bad language yourself, as this will just perpetuate the unwanted behavior. If you feel yourself losing your own temper, take a few deep breaths until you are able to control your emotions. If you are being verbally assualted then it may be best to detach from being called offensive names. Give 3 warnings, use the silent treatment and then just walk away if the behavior goes on.

This can be one of the touphest problems to cope with, particularly for a very stubborn parent. Driving is so commonly related to having freedom and yet if you get reports that your dad is passing stop signs or driving on the wrong side of the street you have to deal with it. If you take his keys away from him, he may resent you, so it may be best to take a more indirect approach.

Take him or her for a “normal” checkup to check his vision, then ask the physician for a note expressing that the patient should not be driving anymore. Send the letter to the DMV requesting that his license be taken away. This may take a few weeks, but when the DMV takes away his license, be sympathetic and do research on transportation for seniors in the area, which is usually inexpensive and efficient.

For further information go to Fish Oil News and find out some additional facts about aging and the possible effect of fish oil on Alzheimers.

Long Term-Care; 70 Million Americans Will Be Over 65 by 2003

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:21:00 +0000

We will all grow old; this is a given. We will all have health issues as we grow older, this also is a given. Many people work their whole lives and if they are smart end up with a paid for house and a little nest egg for retirement. This is a good 15% of the population. Good for us as we have a strong middle-class. But whether you are rich or poor there will come a time when you need long-term care. As a matter of fact statistics show tat 10% of use will need long-term care for 3-5 years.

The problem is that such care costs a good $135.00 per day now, not including any future inflation. So something you should be thinking about is; do you have adequate coverage to protect you life’s earnings, home and nest egg in the case you are somewhat incapacitated and need home long-term care? Many financial planners are recommending insurance for this; as a matter of fact currently it is all the rage.

When shopping for such long-term care insurance there are things you need to look for besides your basic costs of premiums and general services. Things such as an inflation rider to protect you; also a non-forfeiture rider should be in the policy. The non-forfeiture rider prevents the insurance company from completely canceling your policy if you miss premiums; instead you will get less services or care, but not loss of all benefits. There are also in some policies provisions for limiting premium increases. Insurers cannot raise an individual’s premiums but they are allowed to raise premiums for an entire class or category of folks. You need to make sure this will not happen and look for this in your policy.

Guaranteed Renewability is another provision you need to have; meaning they cannot cancel or refuse to renew your policy as you reach and older age of higher risk.

There are over 100 companies, which offer these types of insurance policies but only about 15 or so are any good. Other companies like some abuses in the Insurance Annuity Business may simply collect lots of premiums and then go out of business in the future, leaving you high and dry after taking your premiums. Please be careful and think about this.

Honey, Where Are The Car Keys?

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:19:00 +0000

Q: My mother is always losing, hiding and hoarding things, I am losing my mind! What can I do to get her to stop?

A: This is a great question and I have a lot of material to work with.

My grand mother had made me the most beautiful doilies. One resident in my adult family home insisted that they were the ones she had made and took them when I wasn’t looking. I would put her in bed at night only to find my doilies hidden in her diaper.

After dinner one evening we discovered a client’s $3000.00 dollar pair of hearing aids wrapped up in a nice little napkin and stuffed in her drinking cup.

Some residents would go through others belongings, when I would suggest that they stop because the purse belonged to someone else, they would reply, “I know that” and would continue digging.

The weirdest experience I had was a resident who liked to clothes shop so much that she would go shopping in other peoples closets.

Invariably, just when you need something, it has disappeared, whether it’s your doilies, car keys, glasses, or hearing aids. Hiding, hoarding and losing things are very common things you have to deal with when you are caring for a person with Alzheimer’s.

To cut down on the prospect of losing very important things, here is a list of things to do to help you.

1. Simplify your surroundings. You would be amazed at how much easier it is to care for a person with Alzheimer’s if you aren’t surrounded by clutter. If you lose something, you will have less to sort through to find it.

2. Keep really important things in a locked and secure place.

3. Childproof your cabinets and doors that you don’t want your loved one rummaging through.

4. Don’t leave things lying around.

5. Keep your loved ones glasses, hearing aids, and teeth in a plastic container or tub when you put them to bed at night. That way you will always know where they are in the morning.

Here are a few other things to keep in mind.

1. People with Alzheimer’s like to put their teeth and hearing aids in their napkins at meal time. Always check napkins before throwing them into the trash.

2. Check their wastebaskets before you throw out the trash.

3. Check their pockets before doing the laundry-if they haven’t put something of value in them, I can almost guarantee that there is a Kleenex in them, a load of laundry washed with a Kleenex is the not very fun.

4. If a person with Alzheimer’s is a wanderer you will want to check the sides of their chairs frequently also.

While you may not be able to stop this behavior all together you might be able to control it a bit better with these tips.

Long Term In-home Care Options

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:15:00 +0000

Are you worried that you may lose all your life’s earnings and nest egg due to the rising costs of in-home long term care? As you get older do you have the necessary finances to protect yourself from going broke while slightly incapacitated? Many seniors are worried about are worried about the costs of long-term health care.

Are you worried that if something happens to you, that you may run out of money and burn thru their reserves and all your nest egg. Even be forced to sell your paid for home to survive? The costs for long-term in home care are rising, just like the current costs in health care. The average nursing home stay is 2.5 to 5 years of care with a cost of $135.00 per day. At that rate it will not take log to burn thru piles of cash. This is a concern of seniors and rightfully so.

It is very important to have long-term care insurance in order to protect your assets and give you peace of mind. You need the assurance of quality care, choice and control over receipt of care.

As we get older we do not wish to burden our offspring to come take care of us as they have their own family obligations; so we will want to avoid dependence and it might be nice to receive some tax advantages too. Paying for Long-Term Care requires some strategic planning; either thru family pact to take care of you or long term care insurance. Nothing is not guaranteed and do not expect the government to foot the bill. You see medicare is great but this program may pay for skilled nursing facility care for a very short period of time – but no longer than 100 days and only when you meet all the Medicare requirements for daily skilled care. If you live in California there is Medi-Cal, but this program, called Medicaid outside California, may pay for skilled, rehabilitation and custodial care that is not covered by Medicare, but only if you first “spend-down” assets to federal and state legal impoverishment level guidelines. Can you pay for your care thru personal or family assets without selling your home? Most people provide for long-term care expenses from personal or family income, assets and resources.

Your more strategic choice for Long-Term Care may involve having an insurance program. Specially designed programs to pay for long-term health care expenses are viable option. HIPAA defines Federal tax treatment of insurance policies that provide long-term care coverage. Policies that meet certain criteria are designated as “qualified long-term care insurance” and will receive certain tax incentives: the cost of coverage may be deductible and long term care benefits received will not be reported as taxable income. Please consult your tax advisor for information about your personal situation.

Play it safe and know your options regarding long-term health care and know protect your assets. Think on this.

Paying For Elder Care Just Got Easier

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:13:00 +0000

It's not a surprise that thousands of families across the nation are facing the challlenges of an aging population. The "sandwich" generation, those who are caring for their children as well as their parents, have been feeling the financial pinch of caring for loved ones. Paying the high cost of Elder Care can cost a family thousands of dollars a month. Too many families are unaware of how utilizing a loved one's life insurance policy can not only pay for Assisted Living and Nursing Home care, but can maintain the standards of living for the remaining spouse.

Not too many financial specialist inform their clients who have purchased life insurance policies with a death benefit over $250,000 that they can utilize a somewhat unknown option on their life insurance to pay for the high cost of Elder Care. It is called a Life Settlement and it can fully take the financial burden off of families who struggle to keep their loved one in a quality facility.

A policy owner has the right to sell his or her life insurance policy to an institution for signifantly more than the cash value of the policy. For example, a life insurance policy with a $500,000 death benefit and a $75,000 cash value can be purchased for $250,000 and up. This money can be used now to pay for assisted living, nursing homes as well as in home services also. The procedure is relatively quick with minimal paperwork. It is senseless to struggle financially to pay for the needs of elderly loved ones when they can utilize their life insurance policy to pay for care. Many, many times life insurance policies lapse when a loved one goes into assisted living or a nursing home just out of financial neccessity as well as through medicaid planning.

Instead of letting a policy lapse or into surrendership, smart families are looking into life settlements as a funding source for the high expense of Elder Care.

Local Businesses Serving Seniors Prove Commitment to Quality Care

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 16:11:00 +0000

Good news! You no longer have to risk chance when it comes to selecting a reputable elder care service for yourself or for a loved one. Senior Approved Services has certified a select number of businesses in our area serving the elderly and disabled populations.

Senior Approved Services was founded as a method to actively advocate for the right of all seniors to receive excellent quality care and most importantly, remain safe in the receiving of that care. Rather than report and warn senior citizens of known unsafe services (products and resources), they take the positive approach of highlighting businesses that are willing to prove that they deliver what is promised.

“No one should have to risk the safety of their loved ones when it comes to selecting a service,” states founder and president of Senior Approved Services, Barbara Mascio, a devoted advocate for seniors.

Families that want to secure an in home care service, an elder-law attorney, financial planners, long-term care health insurance representatives, bill-paying services, general handyman and cleaning services, adult group homes, adult day services, assisted living facilities, specialized Alzheimer’s and dementia care services, self-help books, health care directives and living will services, alternative healing practices (including stop smoking programs), elder mediation, home medical equipment, and so forth – can now select the best of the best through the exclusive network of Certified Senior Approved Services.

Seniors and those searching for verified excellent services access this valuable program free of charge by visiting www.seniorsapprove.com or by phoning 216-883-3163 during business hours.

Businesses that offer a product, resource or service for the senior citizen (or those with disabilities) may apply for certification. It is proof that they indeed put the client first. “We’re responding to three years of research and focus group studies,” offers Barbara, referring to results that clearly show the consumer of elder care services wants an unbiased third-party entity to verify the history of care and service.

In the last twelve months alone, Senior Approved Services has received nearly 3,000 inquiries from families that have asked to be connected with a Certified Senior Approved Service. “I only hope that other business owners serving this precious population will respond and request certification so that we may continue helping seniors avoid services that are known to be less than desirable,” affirms Barbara Mascio.

Businesses may request Senior Approved Certification by first visiting www.qualityeldercare.com/seniors

Senior Approved Services advocates for the right of all seniors to receive excellent care and most importantly, remain safe in the receiving of that care. We are building a national network of products, resources and services endorsed by seniors and their families.

Demand Dignity in Public Speaking Training

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:20:00 +0000

Mandy*, a bright, attractive professional woman, had a fear of speaking in front of groups. Recognizing that her feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness were limiting her potential, she showed up for a presentation skills class filled with trepidation. In the class, the students spent the morning listening to the instructor explain the rules of public speaking. That afternoon, they gave their presentations to the group.

After nervously waiting through five other talks, Mandy took her place at the front of the room-her heart pounding and hands shaking. She plowed through her 10-minute presentation with her mind in an out-of-body blur. When she finished, Mandy obeyed the instructor's direction to remain front-and-center to receive her feedback. Comments started with a few "That's a good color on you" and "You had good eye contact" platitudes, but then the real critique began. She used way too many "ums." She shifted her weight too much. Her hair was in her eyes. Her voice was too soft. Most of all, her excessive gestures simply had to be brought under control! Luckily, the instructor had a gesture-reduction plan. He playfully took a piece of rope from a cardboard box, used it to bind Mandy's hands behind her back, and had her give the entire presentation over again.

Did this experience help Mandy overcome her feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness? Of course not. She shuffled home feeling humiliated and victimized. Rather than compassionately working with Mandy as the vulnerable, dignified, gifted human being she is, the instructor treated her like a horse whose spirit and wild habits had to be broken with ropes. Literally. Previous Training As A Source of Fear

In my 15 years of coaching public speaking, I've worked with hundreds of anxiety-ridden speakers. Surprisingly, they often referred to previous speaking training as a source of their fear. They've been badgered, nit-picked, and intimidated-all stemming from a well-intentioned belief that if you fix the mechanics, confidence will follow.

For many people, this approach is, at the very least, ineffective-and it can damage one's sense of dignity. If you see the audience as the enemy, mastering the art of the upward-hand-sweep-with-the-dramatic-flourish will not make those faces any less threatening. Even worse, this mechanical approach can be devastating if you feel insecure to begin with, then walk away with an even longer list of deficiencies to correct.

Of course, there's value in noticing distracting habits and getting them under control. If you're already comfortable in the spotlight, great; go ahead and fine-tune the mechanics. But if you're like Mandy and anxiety is your primary issue (and believe me, you're not alone), a mechanical approach may do more harm than good.

What You Need from Training

So what do you need, if not the mechanics? Here are four things you'd be wise to demand from your training session:

1. Work on the cause of your discomfort, not merely the symptoms.

Most people say that one-on-one or in a small group, they're comfortable with speaking; they only feel awkward when speaking to a large group. If that's the case, there's good news: You don't have to work on your speaking; you have to work on getting comfortable being the center of attention. It may not seem like a significant shift but it is. Speakers tend to work only on what they're putting out to the audience (content, appearance, visual aids, voice). Often, the real work is learning to let in what's coming from audience members, namely their attention.

2. Demand a dignified, healthy process, not just a good outcome.

In Mandy's case, even without ropes, she would probably gesture less the next time she spoke, but is that really success? Though the end result of her training was fewer gestures, the teacher cut a swath of emotional destruction on the way. Desired ends don't justify humiliating means. Always demand to be treated with respect as you work to develop your speaking skills.

3. Insist on privacy regarding your video.

A common tool in presentation skills training is video, but your video is no one's business but yours. I have seen accomplished, respected professionals shrink in horror as their video was shown to and critiqued by the entire class. All learning value was lost because they were too mortified by the public display to learn anything. Besides, it's a waste of time. The class just saw you present the real thing. Why make them watch you twice? In my workshops, students go to the fun and funky "Learning Lounge" where they have a private video monitor with earphones, snacks, a comfortable chair, cozy quilts, and a soothing foot massager. The lighthearted atmosphere takes the sting out of self-awareness so students can concentrate on learning. Nothing good comes from public humiliation, so if you're not comfortable with a public video viewing, stand up for your right to privacy.

4. Feel free to explore your gifts.

"Stay inside the lines." Remember that one? You got a new box of crayons and wanted to go crazy with them, but a teacher or parent squashed your creativity by making you color inside pre-existing lines. The same happens in speaking. Max, a former student of mine, had always been told to follow the rules as a speaker, so he concentrated on his voice, his stance, his visual aids, etc. When given permission to forget the rules and speak from his heart, a delightful dry sense of humor emerged that made him much more likeable and, therefore, more persuasive. He incorporated this gift into a presentation that was already effective in the traditional sense, but now had a wonderful new dimension that would have been missed had he not played "outside the lines."

Mechanics have their place, but you may need to go beyond nit-picking mechanics. You're a unique human being with gifts, talents, stories, fears, dreams, and heart. Don't settle for anything less than a dignified, compassionate approach.

Even horses deserve that.

* Name has been changed to protect privacy.

Dating Tip: How To Ask A Man You Work With Out For A Date Using Class, Style, Dignity And Integrity.

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:03:00 +0000

Dating Tip: "How To Ask A Man You Work With Out For A Date Using Class, Style, Dignity And Integrity."

I recently received this question from a woman wanting dating advice. If you've ever seen a man you work with that you're attracted to, who you'd like to date but, for whatever reason, he hasn't asked you out, you might try this technique.

First, her dating question:

"I am a 29 year old single woman. I am very attracted to a man at work and would like to go out on a date with him. I only know him to say 'Hello' to and I have found out that he is single."

"I am well educated and dress very well and have been asked out for dates by many men, but I have never asked a man to go out on a date. What should I do?"

Here's my dating advice:

It's not just letting him know you're attracted to him or asking him out. It's letting him know you're attracted to him and asking him out with class, style and dignity while keeping your integrity intact. The last thing you want is for him to get the wrong impression. You don't want him to think you're cheap and you don't want him to think you're looking for a one night stand.

The first thing you want to do is let him know, in a nice way, you're interested in him. Then he will either respond by encouraging the interaction or not respond and walk away.

An important dating tip: As an attractive woman, you know there is nothing worse than a man coming on to you when the feeling isn't mutual. That's how he will feel if he doesn't share your interest.

Here's how to let him know you're interested in him using class, style and dignity: When you see him coming, stop what you're doing. If you're walking, stop. If you're sitting, stop what you're doing. Just stand or sit there calmly, wherever it is, and establish eye contact with him. Then smile and let him either walk up to you or walk by you.

An important dating tip about establishing eye contact: You don't want to stare him down. Rather, you want to look at him until you get his attention. Once you have his attention, hold the eye contact a moment, then smile.

And an important dating tip about smiling at him: Don't use a sexy, seductive smile. It gives him the wrong message. Rather, give him a nice, warm, friendly smile. A smile that says, "Hi. I know we don't know each other. I'm attracted to you and I hope the feeling is mutual. If it is, let's get to know each other better. If it isn't, I respect that and will leave you alone."

After you've established eye contact and smiled, if he keeps walking, at least you tried. If he stops, say hi to him and ask him what his name is. Try to start a casual conversation with him. If he has anything on the ball, he'll know you're attracted to him. If he's interested in you and he's a good prospect, he'll encourage the conversation.

If you see him on a regular or semi regular basis, after you talk with him for a while, end the conversation without asking him out until you see him again. Then, when you see each other again, pick up the conversation where you left off. If he doesn't ask you out and you think he's interested say, "Maybe we could get together sometime for lunch."

If he responds favorably, make plans to get together with him.

Achievement: The Only Reason to Gain Respects and Dignity

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:10:00 +0000

In my daily life, I have always wondered about one thing: why the rich and the educated are the most respected humankinds in the world society and not the poor and the uneducated? But now I seem to have found one simple answer to the foregoing question, amongst other more scholarly answers.
The reason that the educated and the rich are the most respected kinds of person, because they are viewed as firmly attached to their achievements. Why do I respect and view President George W. Bush as a person of dignity? Not, because of his handsomeness or wealth or other tangible human substances, but because his achievement in gaining the most votes and his achievement to be the rich in the United States of America. To be precise, who and where he is now, is not important, but only his achievements to become President George W. Bush and other achievements are the reason that I respect and view him with dignity.
Why this is important? This article is one of the answers to prepare you to reach your goal (of course, if you want to be a respectable and dignity person). This means that only when your goal is achieved, then you can be a respectable and dignity person.
“Your path toward goal-achievement is not important, but only your achievement that make I respect you and see you positively diffrantly.

You Were Created With Dignity And Worth

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:40:00 +0000

God did not desire mechanical robots that would involuntarily and without emotion follow His commands. Instead, God passionately desires living souls on whom He can lavish His love, and with whom He can enjoy a meaningful, intimate relationship. God desires relationship with human beings. He wants friendship. He longs for a deep heart connect. For this purpose He created you.

What would dignify His love? How would you know His love was genuine?

In order for His love to be real, and in order for your love to be authentic, He created you with the freedom to choose. That’s right! You have the freedom to choose. He will never force you to say yes to Him. He created you with great dignity and worth. You have the freedom to choose to receive His love or to reject His love. God honors the choices you make. He will never violate the dignity of your free will. Remember, love is not real love without a choice. Love is not real love without the freedom to say yes or the freedom to say no to love’s invitation.

Therefore, the temptations in this natural world had to be real.

The choices had to be real. You will choose good or evil, righteousness or unrighteousness, justice or injustice. You have the freedom to love or to hate, to live in peace or strife, to choose life or death, to say yes or no, to be happy or sad, to pursue humility or pride, to choose blessing or cursing. It’s your choice to give love, or to withhold love, to respond with harshness or with gentleness. It’s your choice! You get to choose. And, the choices you make in freedom are real and really matter. The choices you make have consequences in this life and the next. The decisions you make today affect the quality of your life now and in the age to come. Every one of your choices matter.

God risked everything for love – imagine His vulnerability.

This is stunning! He loves you and nothing can or will ever change that fact. Love Himself will always love you. God’s love is without condition. This means that you can choose to receive His love or you can choose to scorn His love. In either case, His love remains the same. His love does not change based on what you do or do not do. He loves you so much and that’s all there is to it. That fact cannot be questioned, negotiated, or diluted. It simply is. You are passionately loved by God.

Oh, the vulnerability of God’s heart! His heart will feel pain if you choose to refuse His love. That is the risk of love. Jesus said, I am not willing that any should perish (live eternally separated from God). That’s His heart. But remember, love is not love unless you have the freedom to choose. What a risk! He risked being rejected. He risked a broken heart. He risked His reputation. He risked the very real fact that you could refuse His love.

Think about this –

God created you with great love, care and delicate precision down to every single detail of your life. He made you with purpose and for a purpose. He breathed His very own breath into you. He is the one who sustains your life. He is the one who cares most about you. Yet, because authentic love is selfless love, God keeps His hand open and says “now, you choose…”

Don’t think for a minute that God sits back with His arms crossed and passively waits for you to choose to receive or to refuse His love. Not a chance!

My friend, trace your life’s story and you will begin to see how relentlessly He has pursued your heart. Love seeks to win your affection but ultimately you choose. This is the dignity of your human spirit, and Love will never violate your free will.

Insurgent Psychology - Honour, Dignity, Shame And Humiliation - The Roots Of An Endless War

noreply@blogger.com (Dignity) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:46:00 +0000

Working out the perspectives for war takes a certain type of empathy. It should not be confused with sympathy or even, in this case, as necessitating a positive connotation. Every general should be empathetic to his enemy counterpart. If he is to stand a good chance of anticipating his moves and thereby forearming himself with the knowledge to defeat him, he must understand, get a feel for, and even put himself in the practical and psychological shoes of his opponent. This was sorely lacking both in the Administration and the Pentagon.

The Administration’s want of cultural and humanitarian empathy meant Iraq was lost on the psychological level before a boot could hit the ground or a shot could be fired. The simplistic attitude that US occupation would be unconditionally welcomed and that there would be a relatively smooth transition to a model Western-style democracy, which would act as a bulwark against fundamentalism and a beacon to transform other regimes in the region was pure fantasy. If anything testifies just how divorced from reality the Bush Administration is, it was this. Indeed it was something, which was so stubbornly entrenched that, they continued to believe in their own propaganda when the entire country began burning down around them. Their attitude was a gross misconception, derived from the inflated egocentric, all-American, Imperialist mindset that consumed the Administration and which doomed it to calamity for the start. It was very much reminiscent of the arrogant way in which Central and Latin America has been regarded as the United States’ backyard, and now euphemistically re-named our “neighbourhood” by Bush.

The Administration and the Army made no initial effort to understand the psychology of the Arabic and Muslim mind and the ways in which its invasion would be perceived and eventually repulsed. The problem with the egocentric and ethnocentric mind is that it, at best, perceives all others as thinking and feeling in ways which it does, of having the same norms and values as the West and believing itself to be perceived as some marvellous example to be modelled. At worst, the West still views other cultures as inferior and in need of civilizing, by force, if necessary. Not for one moment did the Bush Administration consider that Arabs and Muslims have their own quite different emphasis on mores and values, which often come into sharp conflict with those of the West and which they are deeply devoted to defending.

Consequently, with the utmost arrogance, US troops booted down the door of Arab values and brought the worst of all possible insults upon them by dishonouring and humiliating them. In a region and culture, both Arabic and Muslim, where one’s dignity and honour are to be defended at all cost, including one’s life, the US shamed the Iraqi nation, the Arab nation and the Muslim world. This, in a culture where shame is the worst possible of destinies - unlike the guilt based societies of the West.

The psychological and political difference is important and not semantic. Guilt focuses on inappropriate, bad behaviour aimed at creating a social conscience. Shame concerns self worth and profoundly affects a sense of value towards one's worthiness to exist. Guilt can lead to reforms, while shame can lead to more harmful consequences, especially in terms of violence towards oneself or those who create it.

If shame is a stronger component of a culture than guilt then the motivation to avoid guilt leading to shame is far greater. The fight for one's honour is therefore much more ferocious than in a culture where guilt is more ready accepted and then paid for and forgiven. Indeed, it rules out compromise, negotiation or trading. It is above legal statutes. It is a matter of life and death.

If a shame-based culture is attacked and threatened with humiliation and dishonour, the likely reaction will be fiercer than guilt based cultures. This is the case in the Middle East and among Arab and Muslim peoples, among others. And what comes with it is a tendency to need to regain one's honour through retribution and retaliatory shaming of the persecutor. This extends to become the blood feud common to many Eastern rather than Western societies and is very dangerous once extended along national and religious dimensions.

It is a reason why the humiliation and shaming of the Palestinians has made it the cause célèbre of the Arab and Muslim world and also explains the ferocity of the eventual resistance to the US occupation in Iraq and its condemnation of by Arabs and Muslims worldwide. The occupation is felt and empathized as a humiliating, shameful, dishonour perpetrated by the infidel, United States upon Arab and Muslim brothers and sisters.

For Arabs and Muslims their honour and the shaming of themselves and their brethren is something, which cannot go unavenged. One must be prepared to die for it. It is linked to the culture of retribution, where a hurt or death brought upon another of one’s family, tribe or clan must be avenged and this now extends to one’s sect, nation, ethnicity and common religion.

The Bush administration, thus, blindly and arrogantly entered a war, which would inevitably result in a ceaseless Arab fight to regain their lost honour, dignity, pride, and to exact revenge upon an infidel who has dared to so grievously injure it. The shame dimension of the conflict rules out a negotiated settlement. The fight for regaining honour cannot be compromised, traded or negotiated; it can only be one to the death. Therefore, psycho-culturally, the US has entered an unwinable and endless war, so long as it refuses to back down.

The Administration was three times blind to these subterranean forces at work and were taken in by their own initial and fictitious victory following the initial shock of invasion. They were doubly taken aback by the new opposition, which emerged in multifarious forms triggered by the overwhelming sense of humiliation felt and the Pandora’s box of unresolved internal grievances and injuries, the retribution of which has laid unsatisfied for generations and even centuries. This blindness to reality, which continued throughout the war, was epitomized in the first period, when Bush blissfully announced, in a typical act of crude bravado that “all combat operations” had ended, under the banner of “Mission Accomplished” on an aircraft carrier in 2003!

Furthermore, the United States has trampled underfoot the most basic democratic entitlement of the right of nations to self-determination. Moreover, the right of self-determination is something, which, like honour, is so basic that it goes beyond legalistic niceties and generates revolutionary fervour. And although much of the character of the struggles is clouded in forms of black reaction, they are fought with revolutionary zeal. Ironically, in different forms and from different groups, the US has taken the place of the dictator they deposed, by robbing the Iraqis of the right, the satisfaction and the honour of overthrowing Saddam themselves.

Today, the driving forces of the character of the insurgency is not so much to defeat the American enemy, as to repay him in the form of dishonouring and shaming him. Guerrilla war which is the traditional form of Arab combat, going back to Bedouin tribal times, is precisely fought, not for victory as such, but for shaming and dishonouring those who have brought shame and dishonour upon them. Bedouin tribes would not seek to conquer kingdoms and occupy others territories, so much, but rather preferred to execute raids aimed at shaming another tribe through robbing it of its honour. Much of this lies at the root of the psychology of the unwinable asymmetrical war the US is now embroiled in. The longer they stay the longer they remain an object to be shamed and dishonoured. The aim will be to defeat them, not so much militarily, which is impossible, as psychologically through the unrelenting humiliation of its forces.

The insurgent aims dictate the means. They wear down and ridicule the US army by their hit and run tactics, their invisibility, they picking off of choppers, the sniper, the IEDs and, of course the suicide bomber. When suicide bombers first emerged in Palestine and Lebanon against the overwhelming might of the Israeli forces, the responses to why they did this was that “our bodies are the only weapons, we have left.” The suicide attack is seen as the ultimate act of superiority left to the attacker – the “spiritual” superiority of having the courage to take one’s own life against an infidel enemy, hiding behind his unassailable array of armaments, defending his shameful materialistic Western values. Suicide bombing confuses and terrifies the opponent, however much feigned distain they attempt to show towards it. For similar reasons, the beaten Japanese, with a similar shame/honour culture code, resorted to the terrifying tactic of kamikaze pilots of the 2nd World War.

What hold true toward the US occupiers is also the case for the unresolved historical blood feuds between the different sects and ethnic groups. Centuries of insults are heaped on fresh memories of atrocities under the Hussein regime. The tactics of suicides, of the torture, throat slitting, public beheading and the dumping of victims in groups in street dumps or floating as bloated corpses down the Tigris, are all meant to shame and humiliate the opposite camp. This is not only applicable to the long-suffering Shiites, but conversely to the Sunnis, who are well aware that they will be held to account and face retribution for the crimes of Sunni dominated regimes of the past. They are fighting to pre-emptively shame the vengeful shamers; dishonour the avenging dishonourers in advance of an all-powerful Shia government. Indeed, in an unconscious and perverse form, part of the character of the sectarian carnage the Iraqis are wreaking upon themselves also plays a role in the blaming and shaming the US in the yes of the international community for the situation it has created.

The US cannot create stability or effect regime change, because it would entail achieving an impossible cultural change from bottom up. For these reasons, the mounting military operations to achieve security as a space to achieving political solution and national reconciliation, is purely pie in the sky. The US is applying sticky plasters to gaping gangrenous wounds at a tremendous and worthless price. They are doomed to failure. Thus they are stuck in an endless war, they cannot win.

For the blinkered and myopic, cultural ignoramuses in the White House this is a book closed with a thousand seals. Consequently, the Iraqi adventure turned out to be a victory of astonishment over foresight. But having banged their heads on it they have chosen either to ignore it, or to treat it with contempt and carry on regardless. The bankrupt Administration has chosen to simply repeat and repeat again and again the same failed strategy and tactics, regardless of whether they kept coming up with the same failed results - something someone once described as being the definition of madness.

It would take a leap of the imagination for the Administration to realize that the aim of the insurgency is not to win, but to take retribution and to heap shame upon them. Culturally, this would even be the case should they be able to win militarily! Humiliation not annihilation is their payback for the occupation. Thus, withdrawal is the only option for the US, since they cannot uproot an emotional motivation by military means. It is not just that the US cannot succeed in an asymmetrical war, but that they cannot win a psychologically asymmetrical conflict. Withdrawal will be a victory for the insurgents. But regardless of all this, sometimes eating humble pie is the most emotionally intelligent course.