Dilemmas of a Single Algerian Girl in London

Smile-it-forward

2012-02-01T00:01:00.003Z

Another dreadful journey on London underground this morning, amidst all the armpits, newspapers cutting into my cheek and stale beer stench, something strange and wonderful happened, someone smiled at me, it was puzzling at first, then uncontrollably my facial muscles contracted and produced a smile (a beautiful smile at that) and we both acknowledged eachothers’ wretched position, from that

Appraise THIS!

2012-01-23T11:13:00.001Z

Appraisal week is underway; most of the team members have had theirs and came out looking less pleased! I too have had mine and luckily for my line manager I happened to “meet expectations” nothing more, nothing less! Fucking jobs worths! Other people have not been so lucky including those who have had two maternity leaves in one financial year (gestation of a monkey) and moonlight as a

What I wouldn't do for London!

2012-01-18T19:27:00.002Z

This morning on the train journey to work, standing in between two armpits, dandruffed shoulders and someone who forgot to brush his teeth, I stood breathing cautiously suppressing my gag reflex and waiting for the train to move after what seemed like an endless stop between stations, caused by some signal failure, fatality or severe weather conditions or whatever bullshit they feed us on a

Normal!

2012-01-11T14:22:00.007Z

When you have two weeks holiday and you’re broke, where do you go? To the bank of mum and dad. My old room no longer exists; I had to sleep in the spare room!! I was woken up by someone snoring on the bed next to me, assuming it was my sister; I ignored it until come morning I found the next bed empty! When I told my mum she smiled and told me it was nothing to worry about! Spooky! Ghosts

Algerian vs. Algerian

2011-12-21T20:12:00.002Z

A few Algerian congregations I partook in recently led me to notice a pattern I felt compelled to explore and write about, I even received a few requests to write on the subject but I fear I cannot pretend to offer any solution on the subject only the findings of my very modest research and personal opinion …here goes! The Algerian men who have lived abroad for long periods of time exceeding 7

Caravan to…..London!

2011-12-20T14:57:00.003Z

“If you haven’t seen the Sahara, you haven’t lived” if I count how many times I heard this, I would be sipping Kahwa(1) with Bill Gates, God rest his soul…oh sorry that was Steve Jobs! Everybody’s panicking about New Years Eve plans, because we all know, if you don’t have cool plans that involve Taghit, Tamnraset (aka Tam – shoot me now), then you’re going to be crossed off the TchiTchi (2) list

I just called to say....NO!

2011-12-15T19:20:00.002Z

Ahhh friends, friends, plenty of friends… Good friends, shit friends, needy friends, childhood friends, coffee friends, cinema friends, travel friends, work friends, sex friends, drinking friends and finally forced friends. One day you wake up, after having spent a whole evening with a friend, a substantial amount of money matching what the "friend" wanted to do, you sit there; laugh and talk,

If I could turn back time…

2011-12-14T16:34:00.002Z

If I could turn back time, what would I do differently? I often declare proudly NOTHING, NAFINK I TELL YOU But gloomy hormonal days like these make me rethink the answer and ….seriously, how many days a month do you suffer from hormonal imbalances? Because with me, it seems to be 25 out of 30. Hormones will be the death of me. If I could turn back time, I would do just that; If I could turn

The Algerian dream - Altered

2011-12-07T11:22:00.004Z

Dreams like plans are often altered; yesterday I dreamt I was swimming in a beautiful calm blue sea, when a singing dwarf appeared and started howling the national anthem, I told him to shut up so he transformed into a shark and chased me then I woke up…. My Algerian dream was of moving back to Algeria, farm broccoli and Brussels’ sprouts and import Salmon which lets face it, sounds like hard

Go back to Nicaragua!

2011-11-30T18:40:00.004Z

What can only be described as a fantastical moment took place last week on a Tram in Croydon, South east London. A woman by the name of Emma West, was sitting on the tram with a child on her knee, hurled racial abuse at a whole carriage of passengers who sat in awe of her, the video which was secretly filmed by a passenger, was later leaked to Youtube and has had over 5.9 million hits on

The Bag Issue!

2011-11-22T16:28:00.013Z

To overcome all urges of suicide by paper-cut, or the existential crisis I seem to be suffering, I thought a girly (annoying) post to raise the moral (mine). Gentlemen I suggest you look away now…. I am going to discuss handbags, yes, you read correctly, Handbags, I want to talk about my damn handbag because I am…..well…it’s worth it! (damn you L’Oréal) They say once you go designer, you can

Hormones and demons!

2011-11-18T11:53:00.000Z

How your day goes, is governed by how you see yourself first in the morning. If this statement is true, then my days should always be brilliantly productive, fun and easy (because you know I am… well, FIT), but they’re not. This morning I scared myself, my reflection was something out of “one flew over the cuckoo’s nest”, had bags under my eyes, hair that would put Ozzy Osbourne to shame and

Movember Mo!

2011-11-15T12:40:00.007Z

The conspiracy of the year! All these once good looking men walking around London (and other reported cities where the phenomenon has been sighed) sporting moustaches, horrible, Hitler-like, very brave and ugly upper lip hair growth that is not pleasing on the eye or on the girls lips (apparently – I wouldn’t know). No one is forthcoming with any information as to what the purpose of the sprout

Dz-chick....four years on!

2011-11-12T00:01:00.002Z

On the 12th November 2007, I started writing “Dilemmas of a single Algerian girl in London” and four years later I find myself still writing it, same title, same place, same dilemmas, getting actually tired of it and I am sure a few people out there too, thought unlike me, you are not obligated to visit my page, may I suggest cannotstayaway.com – it doesn’t exists? Sure it does, it brings you

Philosophical week!

2011-11-01T22:55:00.002Z

After an angry, busy , hated dreaded and awaited-end-of Monday, comes Tuesday, if Tuesday was a person, he would be a hypocritical character who has no purpose, a bit like a train station where nobody gets on or off at but your train still stops there, Tuesday doesn't belong to the beginning or to the end of the week, I know you're thinking that sounds like Wednesday, but Wednesday is more of a

Monday Blues and Friday Jazz…

2011-10-31T11:10:00.003Z

On the lift up to the office on a moody Monday morning, when all you want to do apart from satisfy the urge to kill is to stand quietly in your spot until that grating voice announces ‘2nd floor, lift going up’, get to your desk unflustered by hellos and questions like “how was your weekend?” give me a minute for fuck sakes In an ideal world (mine) people would be satisfied with a nod, a glance

If the shoe was on the other foot!

2011-10-28T10:48:00.004+01:00

A homeless man sits on the stairs of my station exit, he sits in a far corner away from the stampede of the commuters but he remains an inconvenience for us despite our best effort to remain humane and generous, we cannot help but feel he’s in the way not because he physically obstructs our way but because we feel guilty we did not acknowledge his pleas for spare change. He sits there with two

Philanthropy for single women

2011-10-19T14:53:00.002+01:00

A blank page presented itself to me as I flicked between my screens, and I felt I had to fill it with my thoughts, after all, it’s been a while and I need to let them out or I shall go mad…fasten your seatbelts folks! Latest life changing decision, purchase a flat in this impossible market turmoil, rent it, pack up and leave, move back to Algeria…as I fantasise about this with a friend from work

I think, therefore I am single!

2011-10-03T15:39:00.002+01:00

Upon a beautiful Indian summer day in London; The wind in their hair, the sunshine on their skin, their eyes looking into each others, their fingers tangled and bodies in a tender embrace; Me sleeping on the warm and moist grass at a stalking distance, my lips pursed tight on a flat line, my gaze burning into their backs through my sunglasses, I feel my toes digging into the ground, ouch my

Will you be my third wife?

2011-09-27T22:09:00.002+01:00

The word itself sounds like a game to me, like Monopoly or Scrabble, a mouthful of a word for a lot of women, Polygamy. You might think where does she get this stuff from, but not to sound overdramatic, recently, another misguided attempt at match-making by another so called “friend”(1), who insisted on setting me up with a friend of his who was an interesting party and had all the qualities I

Trilingual Illiterates: Algeria's Language Crisis

2011-09-10T19:23:00.006+01:00

How many of you (Algerians) get interrupted by eavedroppers questioning what language you're speaking or how many languages are you using at the same time? and how many of you get embarassed by this? or perhaps you feel proud? You want to learn Algerian? hmmmm This is not an impossible task but it sure is not an easy one. First you need to learn Arabic then learn French then have some knoweldge

Little Algiers N4

2011-09-06T20:21:00.003+01:00

My train alights at Finsbury Park station, too absorbed by my book and practicing the ever annoying read & walk, I hear a couple of Algerian guys whinging behind me “jat’ha leqraya hadi”(1) I control my reflex and manage not to turn around and acknowledge their protest or indeed acknowledge I understood what they were saying, I walk on thinking….and so it begins… What was I doing here again? My

Oh Crescent....where art thou!

2011-08-29T14:19:00.001+01:00

On this last day of Ramadan, I am blogging from my bed, to change from my desk which resulted in my boss discovering the blog, reading it and promptly blocking it! that'll teach meSo I am in bed, horizontal and relaxed albeit a little uninspired. I am not sure how you're spending the last few hours of Ramadan but I know ALL are hoping to hear the good news that Eid is tomorrow, so that crescent

Ramadan ....over and out T-3

2011-08-27T02:22:00.001+01:00

The end is near and despite what other people say about missing Ramadan, well I am sorry to say LIARS, it’s a month of hard work and hard worship and concentration, of deprivation and self sacrifice, none of which don't come naturally to human beings, and if it was that easy and you could do it all year around why all the whinging, the bad moods and clock watching? If the crescent is sighted

You can’t punish me I am Algerian!

2011-08-25T18:42:00.003+01:00

I witnessed someone getting fined on the train this morning for not having a valid ticket (wasn’t me I promise) and that got me thinking about rigour and about the new Algiers Metro that just opened it’s doors/tunnels to the Algérois after over 30 years of waiting.Wondered if they have put in place measures for fines and penalties and such, I wonder how this will be carried out knowing us