Dinner and a F$#@!& Up Movie

ANNNNND.... We're back!

2011-01-21T15:31:00.000-08:00

Why, hello there!

So, Ron and I have been AWOL for a few months. We moved across the country. Really.

We took some time off to pack, move (it took TWENTY days!) and unpack - but, we are BACK!

We've watched plenty of effed up movies in the past few months and it's got our creativity going strong.

Expect an update this weekend!

Thank you all,
DnR

Uzumaki (Spiral) and Roasted Beef Sammies... At least dinner was good.

2010-11-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Welp, they can't all be good.

The other night we watched Uzumaki (Spiral) and had roasted beef sammies with potato wedges.

This film is based on a pretty popular manga of the same name... basically a town is haunted by spirals.

Yeah, let me move on to dinner and we'll get back to the movie in a bit.

I wanted to make beef tenderloin sandwiches but my local supermarket didn't have any beef tenderloin.
So I grabbed a beef round roast, not my first choice, but if you know how to prepare them, they can come out really tasty.

Ron approved of the final product.

What you'll need:

1 beef round roast
oil to coat
salt and pepper
rosemary

Heat your oven to 450 and prepare the roast.
Toss the roast in bowl with the oil, salt, pepper and rosemary.

Roll it around a few times to get all the seasonings even.
Then brown the roast on all sides in a hot pan.

Brown = FLAVOR!

After you brown the roast on all sides, place in a baking pan and put in the hot oven. Let it roast for 20 minutes at 450 and then turn the oven off. Let the roast sit in the oven for 10 minutes a pound for rare/med-rare and 15 minutes a pound for medium. Then remove the roast from the oven and let it sit for 10 minutes before slicing so that all the juices redistribute evenly.

For the potato wedges I just washed two baking potatoes, cut them into 8 wedges each and tossed in the same bowl I used for the roast. I added more oil, rosemary, salt, pepper, dill and paprika and then just mixed them to coat.

I baked them at 450 for 20 minutes on a greased sheet pan, then turned them and let them go until they reached my desired level of crispyness.

I don't reccomend using your fingers to flip your potatoes - after years of working in restaurants I have asbestos fingertips.

After the potatoes were done and the roast had rested, I made up the sammies.

First I mixed 1 stick of softened butter with 5 ounces of crumbled blue cheese to make the base.

I spread this base onto a halved loaf of French bread and broiled it until bubbly and slightly brown.

Make sure you spread it on the top and bottom of your bread.

Then I sliced the roast.

Mine turned out more medium... I prefer rare, but as I have mentioned earlier - my oven sucks. It was still delicious, tender and nomtastic despite its unintentional over-doneness.

Then I just layered the sandwich. I added lettuce, tomato, onion, avocado... whatever you like on your beef is fine.

Served it up with the roasted potato wedges with a little more of the blue cheese butter for dipping... mmmm.

Dinner was yum.

The movie...

OK, so I'll give you Ron's take first... this was another little gem he selected.

The other night we watched the Japanese film Uzumaki. Basically, this town is haunted by the shape of a spiral.

Wow, that seems even dumber when I write it out.

The villagers of the town become obsessed with the shape until they die a computer-generated or badly propped twisted death (no pun intended). Usually, I can laugh off a bad movie, but this one made me baby-punching mad. The plot never developed or shed any light on why there was a spiral haunting the town. One guy figures it out, but dies almost instantly without revealing anything to the viewer.

And, where in the hell did they get these actors. It was the main characters first movie ever. She had never even auditioned for a movie before. In the extra features they asked her what her favorite part of the movie is. She replies, "the school uniform I wore because it was dark red." You have got to be shitting me! I realize there is a culture gap between the Japanese and myself, but that is retarded no matter where you're from. So fuck this movie and fuck the director.

If I had to recommend how fucked up to be to watch this movie, I would tell you to go ahead and date rape drug yourself so you won't remember how it held you down and violated you, like it did me.

Thank you Ron for that... that insightful look into this film.

I really don't have much to add after that glittering review. Ron took the words out of my mouth. I think.

So, yeah, they can't all be good.

Dinner was fab, but wow, that movie really sucked.

We'll be back with Interstella 5555 tomorrow! If you're not aware of it - it's an anime with Daft Punk's - Discovery as the soundtrack and only dialogue! Woot!

And we love the suggestions - keep 'em coming!

Cheers and thanks for reading,

Dani and Ron

We're back!

2010-11-02T13:52:00.001-07:00

We haven't been around much for the past few days because of Halloween. Ron and I were pretty busy with Moogfest and just your typical Halloween revelry. We went as The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend; you can see our photo over on Dani Every Day - I worked my tail off on our costumes and I think that translated into celebrating my tail off...

But now we are back with a vengeance - well rested and ready for some crazy movies!

We're starting back with Uzumaki...

They can't all be good.

Julien Donkey-Boy and an autumn feast!

2010-11-02T13:51:00.000-07:00

We've really gotten into this! We're watching movies like crazy and I haven't had this many ideas for dinner in a long time. Love love love that so many people are liking our blog. Thank you all for reading,

The other night we watched Julien Donkey-Boy. This one came from our collection, but I had never seen it and Ron couldn't remember it, so we gave it a whirl.

Watch the Trailer

Dinner was a hodgepodge of things I had been craving: pumpkin bisque, baked brie, roasted beets and capocollo.

Recipes and reviews below.

I love appetizers! I like little bites of EVERYTHING. Tapas makes me happy. And some nights I don't want to make a put-together meal - I'd rather munch on heavy hors d'oeuvres. And if you haven't noticed, we don't have a dining room table. Until we move out of the cottage, we're stuck with a couch and a coffee table. It isn't the easiest to eat while hunched over a low table watching a movie, but small plates of picky foods are great for movies on the couch.

So that's just what I did the other night - appetizers! Also, I was craving like nine different things while trying to decide what to make.

Never go to the grocery store hungry.

I settled on: pumpkin bisque, baked brie with apple butter, capocollo and roasted tomato and beet salad with feta. I was in a very fall mood but I didn't want anything too difficult.

I'll start with the capocollo. Capocollo, or coppa if you're Italian, is like prosciutto or salami. I bought it. I put it on a plate.

Take 30 seconds to make a spiral and people go nuts!

The roasted tomato and beet salad is just as easy.
Take 4 Roma tomatoes and slice them in half, long-ways. Toss with a few tablespoons of olive oil, some dill, kosher salt and pepper. Bake at 400 for 15 minutes or until they are slightly shriveled and the skins crack.

For the beets, you can use whole beets if you like. Just wash them really well, peel them and toss them in the oil, dill, salt and pepper. Wrap tightly in tin foil and then bake along with the tomatoes at 400 for 15-20 minutes or until a pairing knife pierces them with little resistance. Then you can just slice or quarter them.
You can do that, or you can buy canned beets if your produce-section beets look gross, like mine did. Do not buy the pickled beets, just get canned. Take the slices, toss in the oil mixture and throw in the oven for a few minutes to warm them up and they're ready to go.

Then just mix up a simple salad. I tossed together a bag of spring mix, some olive oil, lemon juice, dill, salt and pepper, topped it with the warm tomatoes and beets and finished with a little feta.
Voila!

For the brie, I sliced the top rind off - you don't have to do this - then I wrapped it loosely in foil and put it in the 400 degree oven for 5 - 6 minutes until it was melty. I mixed together some apple butter, honey and cinnamon, poured the mixture on top of the warm brie and returned it to the oven for a few minutes. I plated the brie with apple slices and grapes.
nom nom nom

The pumpkin bisque was another easy fix.

I melted 1/2 stick of butter in a saucepan over med-low heat.
Then I sweat 1/4 of a sweet onion MINCED FINE and 1 teaspoon of garlic, also MINCED FINE, in the butter until translucent. I emphasize the minced fine because I don't have an immersion blender, or any blender for that matter, in the cottage. Grumble grumble... one month... can't wait to have a real kitchen again... grumble grumble... If you have one of these tools, you're in the clear, you can whirr the soup into smoothness at the end, but for those of us working with limited kitchen space you just have to do a little more prep work.

So sweat the onion and garlic and then add 1 large can of pumpkin. Make sure it's just pumpkin. You don't want the stuff that is already seasoned for pie filling. Well, maybe you do, could be good, but I wanted more of a savory bisque. So whisk the pumpkin with the butter and veggies and begin adding vegetable stock to get it slightly thicker than your desired consistency.
I used about 3 cups of stock. Heat this through and add salt and pepper to taste. Adding a little grated nutmeg is also really yummy.

After it's heated through, add 1 cup of half and half, You can use heavy cream if you like, whatever makes you happy. Whisk this in and heat, but don't let it boil.

Done.

I sliced some french bread and toasted it in the oven to serve with everything. And that was dinner.

Took me about 30 minutes to put it all together and I got a little nibble of everything I wanted.

So, onto Julien Donkey-Boy!

Ron's going first this time since he picked out the movie.

We were going through our collection trying to decide when Ron stops and holds up a movie saying, "This is one of the most effed up movies I've ever seen. Wanna watch it?"

I say sure and we put in Luther the Geek. Luther the Geekis a Troma film and if you know The Toxic Avenger, you know Troma. But Troma also made (is still making) a lot of bad bad bad stupid movies... After sitting through 15 minutes, THAT YOU CAN'T SKIP THROUGH, of shameless self-promotion, naked girls bouncing around in silly skits, and Troma employees trying to fellate themselves - the movie starts. A few minutes later Ron goes, "Ohhhhhh! This isn't the movie I was thinking of, I meant Julien Donkey-Boy!"

Awesome.

Take it away, Ron!

Oh gentle hearted Julien. How your incestuous ways and schizophrenic mumblings have captured my heart. Julien Donkey Boyis another insightful film by director Harmony Korine, who brought you cult classics such as Kids and Gummo.

The character of Julien is loosely based on the directors' schizophrenic uncle Eddie. It captures the same gritty realness-es of human life and behavior, like his other films, that you rarely get to see on screen. The mood is accentuated by the way the film is shot - with poor definition and lack of bright definite colors. Other camera techniques add to the feeling that the film is shot by an amateur cameraman who is part of the story.

If you have ever had any experience with people diseased by severe schizophrenia, you know its not all "fantastical' and "trippy." I'm looking at you, Russell Crowe. But, don't get the wrong idea. The movie isn't a depressing story of dealing with a disease, because that's not what real people do. You don't deal with an incurable disease, you live with it. And, by the way Julien has it way more together than his out-of-touch sister, wrestling obsessed brother, and cough syrup addicted father (Werner Herzog).

The movie is free-flowing with a somewhat improv script that focuses on the interpersonal relationships of all the family members. It's packed full of dark humor and WTF moments that lead you to feeling compassion for each of the characters. I'm giving this one a 3.8 of 5 because of its uniquely eccentric characters that you just cant get enough of. This movie is pretty f'd up, but as for the "How f'd up you need to be to watch this movie scale" I recommend staying relatively sober to be able to absorb all the angles of this film.

Thanks Ron!

I (Dani) liked this one OK... Whenwe first started watching it, I couldn't tell if it was a linear movie or just one long non sequitur caught on film.

It's a little of both.

You see little snapshots of the family, who are all completely out there, and it seems choppy and disjointed until you realize that this is their life. It's not unusual to them, and therefore not abstract. A normal Sunday dinner would be the non sequitur to them.

Julien is schizophrenic and not being treated in anyway that I could tell. The sister (Chloe Sevigny) is a pure, gentle soul who happens to be carrying Julien's child. Julien's brother is suicidal and obsessed with being great. And dad (the always awesome Werner Herzog) is a cough syrup addicted, gas mask wearing, abusive loon.

Yep.

I had the WTF face for most of the movie. Since you have to piece together a lot of things for yourself those moments of realization are, "Aha!" quickly followed by, "Oh God..."

In all, it is a sad, touching film that takes you inside and gives you a brief glimpse of what it must be like for a family to deal with this disease. It's not pretty. It's creepy. It's shocking. And you feel really sorry for everyone involved.

Good movie overall and I do reccomend it but it's not the feel good hit of the year. You're not going to be clapping and laughing when this one ends.

Thanks for reading!

Cheers!

Dani and Ron

Finally! Ron's review of The Human Centipede!

2010-11-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

For those who missed the first part of this post - the dinner and my review - here's the linky! Part One of The Human Centipede

And now - Ron's much anticipated review of The Human Centipede (First Sequence).

How many times have you caught yourself saying, "That guys deserves to have his mouth sewn to a truckers asshole." Well that's how the writer/director came up with the idea for this story according to his commentary.

I love a good gross-out movie, and this one did not disappoint. If you've read the synopsis, you know this is the story of an insane/talented surgeon who sews three people together by way of their anus' to their oral cavities. Now, typically, I never condone going ass to mouth, but in this case I'm all for it.

This movie starts as your formula slasher film. Really stupid hotties making some equally intelligent decisions only to become trapped in the clutches of a maniac. What separates this movie is the hilarious yet creative surgery they are put through. A plus for the flow of the story line is that you don't have to wait until the end of the movie to see the created monster. You get it about 20 minutes in and then the rest of the time you anxiously squirm over everything that goes with it. Once the beast is created the movie takes a twist and mainly focuses on the psychological effects of mutilation, humiliation, and domination.

I found the plot to not be overly generic as is the problem with most horror films. It had a few twists and a lot of me screaming, "What the fuck are you doing you stupid bitch?! Get out of there!" I especially liked the conversations this movie provoked between Dani and I - like which spot in the totem poll would you most like or dislike to be in and why, or how much pressure you think you would have to hold in your mouth so the guy in front of you can't take a dump in it. I, personally, could talk about poop all day, but I'd like to keep the few followers we have so far.

So, without further a-doodoo, I gave this movie 3.6 out of 5 because it made me scream, squirm, and think... All with a shit-eating grin on my face (sorry - I swear that's the last one). As for how f'd up you need to be for this one, it's a light-hearted and fun horror movie; get your friends together with a 12 pack and break out the bubbler.

Thanks everyone and we'll be back tomorrow with Julien Donkey-Boy.
Cheers!
Dani and Ron

Apologies, a preview of Julien Donkey-Boy, dinner and a HUGE THANK YOU!

2010-11-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

We apologize for not having Ron's review of The Human Centipede up just yet. It'll be up today, we swear. Our internet in the cottage is kinda wonky and it just wouldn't stay connected last night.

We can't wait to move... One month!

Since our internet was wonkified, we had to pick a movie from our own collection instead of turning to our queue. Yes, we actually have a crazy movie collection with roughly 500 films and growing. The best was when Ron and I moved in together and we realized that we had so many duplicates... *Sigh* There really IS someone out there for everyone.

So, when our internet is down we usually take turns picking movies from our respective collections and trying to out-weird one another. Last night was Ron's turn and he picked, "Julien Donkey-Boy."

Here's the plot synopsis from Wiki -

The film is about a dysfunctionalfamily consisting of Julien (Ewen Bremner) a young man with untreated schizophrenia, his sister (Chloë Sevigny) who is carrying his child, his brother (Evan Neuman) and his domineering, German father (Werner Herzog).

Intrigued? You should be!

Also, WERNER HERZOG is in it! He makes my weird movie loving heart go pitter-pat.

Dinner was a fall feast with pumpkin bisque, roasted tomato and beet salad, cappicola, and baked brie with
apple butter.

We should have a full review and recipes up later on today.

We really appreciate you all reading this and we love that we are starting to get comments and MOVIE SUGGESTIONS! It makes our day when we see messages about the blog.

This blog is something that we had been talking about doing for quite a while; it's great that it is finally happening and people are actually interested. We didn't really know if anyone would want "Martha Stewart Chainsaw Massacre," but it seems that you all are digging it.

Thanks so much!
Cheers!
Dani and Ron

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) and Greek Chicken with Caterpillar Potatoes

2010-11-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome back!

Ron and I outdid ourselves with this one... the film is pretty foul, and I think I was pretty clever with dinner, but we'll let you be the judge of that.

With this little film, we're probably gonna lose a few of you. The Human Centepede isn't for the faint of heart, but we swear they're not all going to be this bad.

We knew what we were watching without even thinking about it. We've had the Human Centipede in our queue since it was showing in the theaters and we realized we had the misfortune of missing it on the big screen. It was really funny, actually, I saw someone had written in about the film to The Mountain Express, our local independent newspaper, and they said that it was "the most disgusting movie ever made" and then they rambled on about how movies like (The Human Centipede) shouldn't be made and had no place... blah blah blah. I immediately emailed Ron and said something to the effect of, "OMG we HAVE HAVE HAVE to see this!!!" I quickly received his response, "I heard about this movie and YES we HAVE to see it!"

We are so lucky we found each other. Sometimes, when I think about the terror I've inflicted on lesser men with my movie choices... heh.

So, we made plans to head to the Fine Arts that afternoon and quickly realized that it had just made its departure from there. *cry* But, it was already on Netflix waiting to be released! Into the queue it went and a few months later in was in our hot little hands!

Here is the Netflix synopsis:

After their car breaks down while in Germany, Americans Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie) wind up at a remote villa -- and soon find themselves trapped in a nightmare. Dr. Josef Heiter (Dieter Laser) kidnaps them for his demented experiment to create a human "centipede." The plan includes removing their kneecaps so they must walk on all fours, then surgically connecting them to a Japanese man to create a bizarre human chain.

Sounds perfect!

I mulled over what to make for this film and I couldn't quit giggling when I remembered one of the first things I learned how to make - Caterpillar Potatoes. Silly? Yes. Delicious and easy? Yes.

It was decided.

Greek Chicken and Caterpillar Potatoes

I use a LOT of whole cut-up chickens in my cooking. Everyone gets what piece they want, you get the neck and back which make awesome stock, they are super cheap (think $4!) and the offal (organs) are included. The organs go great in stuffing, make good fishing bait, if you have a pet turtle - they love organs (my turtle, Snappy, used to LOVE chicken hearts), or you may just have an organ-loving boyfriend, like me.

I started with one, whole cut-up chicken, rinsed well.
In a gallon-sized, zip-top bag, mix the following:
1 bottle fat-free Greek dressing (Vermont Farms)
3-4 cloves minced garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
zest of one lemon
juice of one lemon
1 tbs dried rosemary
1 tbs lemon pepper seasoning
1 tbs Greek seasoning
Shake well and add your chicken. I put the chicken in first and then added the marinade ingredients, it isn't bad to do this, you just have to shake it longer. Let this sit in your refrigerator for at least a few hours, overnight is also fine.

When you chicken is almost done marinating, get started on your potatoes.
I'm sure a lot of gals my age or my mom's age know this recipe. Caterpillar potatoes seemed really popular when I was young and then I just never saw anyone doing them anymore. Damn Dr. Atkins...
But they are super simple and really yummy.
You need one, long, baking potato per person.
You also need:
1 softened stick of butter or margarine
1 tbs dried rosemary
1/2 tbs garlic powder
salt and pepper to taste
Mix the softened butter with the seasonings and set aside.

Slice across the potato, about 3/4 of the way through, from end to end.

You want to slice far enough down so that it'll open up as it's baked, but not so far through that it falls apart.

Keep your slices pretty close together, you want to have lots of segments.

After you get your potatoes sliced, slather the butter mixture onto your potatoes - making sure to get some in the creases.

Wrap the potatoes in foil and bake at 350 for 30 minutes. My oven sucks. If you haven't noticed our teeny-tiny kitchen, Ron and I live in a guest cottage, so our kitchen is SMALL. We have one of those mini ranges, and some days our oven is super hot and others it's meh. So, what you need to do is bake your potatoes until they are half-way cooked through.

See - they are starting to look a little like caterpillars.

After the initial baking, unwrap them, slather on more butter mixture and return to the oven unwrapped and raise the temperature to 375.

This is when I put in my chicken in the oven.

I removed the chicken from the marinade and laid it out on a foil-covered baking sheet, topped it with feta cheese and thinly sliced lemons, and baked it for about an hour at 375.

Ron was being artsy.
So, potatoes and chicken in the oven, 375, one hour, dinner.

Mmmm - the feta gets all crispy and melty and baked lemons are awesome!

And here are the potatoes when they are all done - caterpillars! Feel free to put a little cheese on and put them back in the oven for a few minutes.

I also made some copper pennies. Copper pennies are just sliced carrots, steamed and then sauteed with a little butter and brown sugar. Nothing fancy.

Now that dinner is done, onto the movie!

WATCH - The Human Centipede Trailer

So much has been said about this film already, and we pretty much knew what we were getting into but, like the saying goes, you never really know someone until you live with them. Same goes for movies, you may have heard all about one, you may think you know everything that is going to happen, but until you watch it, you just don't know what kind of response it may illicit from you.

I knew how the people were connected going into it. I didn't think it could get much worse since I already knew the gross-out X factor. I was wrong.

This film is low-budget, lacks Hollywood slickness and has a desperate feel. This makes it amazing. It makes it real, like it could happen to you. Don't get me wrong, big-budget movies have their place but I can't think of a multi-million dollar, Hollywood horror movie that has actually scared me. This is mostly because the premises are impossible - I know dolls aren't going to come alive and kill me (no matter what my brother told me when I was little!) and I know that there isn't a videotape out there that kills you after you watch it... But there damn well could be a crazy-ass doctor who has lost his ever-loving mind and wants to make a horrible monstrosity out of me, my girlfriend and an unlucky Japanese guy.

I found myself cringing, hitting Ron's arm and hiding behind my glass of wine for most of the movie. That is to say I really enjoyed it. Sure there are holes, things aren't perfect, the acting ranges from good to laughable in some scenes, the dialouge also ranges from decent to laughable, but at least this movie made me feel something. I'm so tired of the formulaic crap that Hollywood tells us to like. "Oooohhhh look - an explosion! Pay $12.50 and we'll give you lots of 'em! We know you like bright and shiny and can't keep your attention focused for more than 30 seconds!" Bah. This is nothing like that. The Human Centipede is gritty, it's dirty, it's in no way polished and it has people fighting for their lives while sewn together in a most horrific way.

It definitely held my attention and gave us some REALLY interesting things to talk about after the film was over... You will too, trust me. I don't think you can watch this film and not have the "So where would you want to be?" discussion. I say see it. I'd give it a "Wow! That was something." There is one scene, that has nothing to do with the centipede, but it grossed us out so much that Ron managed to knock my glass of wine onto me in a flailing fit, and I, too, was flailing about, cringing, making gagging noises and otherwise so completely engulfed in what was happening that I didn't even notice my now-empty glass until I went to take a sip. My shirt was covered in red wine and I was unaware of coldness, or the stain, until minutes later.

That's an intense film.

That being said - it IS disgusting. Really disgusting. If you saw Hostel or Saw and either of those were too much for you - don't watch this movie. The Human Centipede doesn't pull any punches, it tells you what is going to happen in excruciating detail and then shows you. You never have to imagine anything, and yes, there is something to be said for leaving a little unknown but I think that this situation is so outside the realm of what most people would ever think of that it has to show you, or else you could never imagine the horror on your own. And not wanting to give anything away but I feel I owe it to you, if you have a problem with poop - don't watch this movie. If Pink Flamingos made you run out crying -don't watch this movie.

And now here's Ron!

Well, I lied. We are having insane internet problems right now and Ron is unable to do his review. Not to worry, he'll do it tomorrow. It's a good one, make sure to stop by and check it out later.

Thanks again for reading and we'll be back with more craziness tomorrow!

Cheers!
Dani and Ron

Tonight on Dinner and a F$#@!& Up Movie: The Human Centipede!

2010-11-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

The Human Centipede and a cheeky little recipe!

This film has been called "the most disgusting movie ever made" and a "cinematic travesty."
*swoon*

Can't wait to see what the fuss is all about!

Cheers!
Dani and Ron

The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes and homemade meatballs!

2010-11-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first installment of our little blog!

Last Friday was our first go at this, we knew what we were making (meatballs!) but we had no clue what to watch. Ron read out descriptions from the queue and one by one we nixed them... We needed something really good (weird) for our first venture into something called "Dinner and a F$#@!& up Movie." I was in the kitchen cooking, Ron was snapping photos and giving me movie choices when I hear the "eureka!" come from the living room.

"I'VE GOT IT!"

Alright Ron, what are we watching for our first movie?

"The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes!"

Here are two of the descriptions Ron read to me:

"Dark fairytale about a demonic doctor who abducts a beautiful opera singer with designs on transforming her into a mechanical nightingale." - IMDB

"After murdering opera singer Malvina van Stille (Amira Casar) onstage, thesinister Dr. Droz (Gottfried John) absconds with her corpse. At his villa, Droz enlists the help of the Piano Tuner of Earthquakes(César Saracho) in creating a performance starring the reanimated Malvina. Assumpta Serna co-stars in this haunting tale of obsession by groundbreaking fantasists the Brothers Quay." -Netflix

Sounds great!

Now that the movie is selected, onto dinner!

I made meatballs! I say meatballs because pasta and sauce is pasta and sauce. You know what kind you like, you know what you always buy. Some of you like penne, some like angel hair. Some of you like Prego, some like Ragu, and some make their mamma's gravy. The pasta and sauce part is easy... making good meatballs is a little trickier.

This was our first go at this, and I'm sure our photography will get better... you've been warned.

Thanks Ron for the oh-so-flattering photo of me and 3 pounds of meat... For the record - NO ONE looks good being photographed from above while they have their head tilted down. Humph.

Here's my recipe for meatballs, I've been told they are pretty banging.

1lb ground beef - I use 85/15, you need some fat to make it taste good!
1/2lb ground pork - more flavor!
1/2 large onion, minced
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1 egg
2 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1 tbs Heinz 57
1/2 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
salt and pepper to taste

That's it. Just mix all the ingredients together with your hands, but don't over mix and then shape into golfball-size balls and place in a hot pan. They will feel wet. This is good! That means they'll be juicy when they are done. No one likes hard, little, hockey-puck meatballs. Just make sure that when you put them in the pan, you don't touch them until they are very caramelized on one side or they will fall apart. This recipe makes about 20 balls, depending on how generous you are.

Just brown them up really well on all sides. I usually cook them over med-high heat for 4-5 minutes a side. It takes about 12-18 minutes in all, depending on how big you've made your meatballs.

This is Ron's happy meatball dance.

If you get them nice and brown on one side before you move them, they'll hold their shape.

That's it! Just add the meatballs to your favorite pasta and sauce and voila - dinner! Ron wanted farfalle (bow-ties) so we had farfalle.

You'll have plenty of meatballs left over (if you're cooking for two) for sammiches, or to put on pizza, or to use in a pasta bake the next day. Meatballs are incredibly handy to have around for a quick lunch or dinner, and they are pretty cheap. I made dinner for around $5, $6 if you include the garlic bread. My bottle of wine cost more than both of our meals and we had leftovers. Not bad for a date night.

I have to share this photo, just because Ron makes the best sad face. He was studying while I was cooking...
On to the movie...

The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes is definitely a F$#@!& up movie. We spent a lot of the film tuning the volume up and looking at each other quizzically. We watch a lot of effed up movies, but this one was just hard to wrap our minds around while we were watching it. Here's the gist...

Basically, an opera star is murdered, her body is taken away by an evil doctor who wants her all to himself. He revives her corpse and wants her to be in an opera just for him. But, he uses automatons (complicated machines) to put on the show and he needs the Piano Tuner of Earthquakes to come and get the machines ready for the big production. The Piano Tuner comes to the doctor's villa to tune the machines and is swept up in the mystery and gets lost in this crazy world.

If it sounds strange, it's because it is.

Also, you're not really supposed to hear or understand the dialogue, you're supposed to feel the emotion instead. This was incredibly annoying as all the actors speak very softly and in thick accents. We thought we were missing key elements when we really weren't. But any who, we kept comparing it to a David Lynch film with its twists, turns and oddly behaving characters. I kept trying to interpret it, Ron kept saying I was wasting my time, turns out he was right. During the film we were annoyed with most of it, but when we looked back on it as a whole, we liked it. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. Ron said it was a 2.8 -3.1 out of 5 and

I gave it a "meh."

The film is visually stunning; it felt as if you were in a painting. Some of the scenes felt like a Dutch Master with rich jewel-tones and velvety textures, and then others felt like a Monet with colors and shapes washing into one another. I'd say watch it just for that. It really is a beautiful film, just don't try to get too much out of it while you're watching it. It is like a dream, your dream, and therefore every dreamer's interpretation will be different and their own.

The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes is on demand on Netflix, so if you want to give it a whirl, just hit play.
I'll let Ron finish his review of it himself later... he has a special way of rating films and I won't spoil the surprise...

Take it away, Ron!

First off unlike Dani I am not very practiced in words. Maybe as we go along she can learn me gooder. So this movie first caught my attention by the unique title, and as I read the summary I got pretty excited about this film. My expectations as follows: Sexy girl brutally murdered on stage and then drug off by some kind of mad scientist with a troubled sexual past, only to be followed by a bloody unorthodox technique of reanimation with side effects of severe schizophrenia, movement disorders, and brain hungers.

Well you don't always get what you want.

In fact this movie lacked any aspect of horror, instead it was filmed with a mood of psychedelic elegance. The director has a great eye for setting up multi-layered sets for scenes which invoke mystery and intrigue with its not quite fake looking forest and unique machines with all their moving parts like some sick invention Peewee would make for his house after watching his talking chair eat his pet pterodactyl. All the shots had a nice haze over them and the stop motion animation looked great, however he needs to work on his ear. Half the time the actors speak so low that you only get pieces of the dialogue. Don't worry though because its mostly irrelevant anyway. If you get any kind of understanding from this movie I applaud you. For me it was more of just something pretty to look at in between pretending my uvula was Indiana Jones as I rolled giant meatballs at him for stealing my molar fillings.

I normally love movies where I have no idea whats going on such as art house flicks and Lynch style writings, but this story line seemed to drag on with little development. Other than that there's not a lot to really say about this film, so I give it an overall 2.8 out of 5 stars. Furthermore, any f'd up film enthusiast knows that to truly enjoy an f'd up film one should be on a certain level of f'd upness themselves, hence my "you should be this f'd up to watch this movie" rating system. Now this system is gonna range from a slight alcohol buzz to straight tripping your balls off. For this film I give it a 4 beer minimum with half bag of mushrooms. You want to get over caring to much about the plot, while enjoying the textures to enchanting scenes which would really be accentuated with some light hallucination.

Thanks for reading and we hope you are looking forward to our next installment!

Please remember, this was our first try at this. We'll work on it and figure things out as we go and we like suggestions!

Cheers!
Dani and Ron

Welcome!

2010-11-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks for visiting and welcome!

Let us introduce ourselves - she’s Dani, he’s Ron. We’re two, fairly-typical, twenty-somethings and on any given night in our household, you can find us making something yummy and arguing over what movie to watch. But let’s just say that our Netflix queue isn’t as typical. In fact, we’re pretty certain that they put a lot of the movies we end up watching on there as a joke… or as a way to find potential serial killers.

We have weird tastes.

We watch all sorts of stuff - old movies, bad movies, really good movies, foreign movies, crazy, Japanese, what-the-hell-were-they-thinking movies, gory movies, funny movies, indie movies, musicals, anime… pretty much anything, really.

We also make some pretty good food, and it isn’t as weird as our movies - rest assured. Some of it is simple, some is more complex, but it is all delicious.

So, what you’ll find here is: movie reviews, yummy recipes and funny pictures of us in our PJ’s.
If this sounds good to you, feel free to stick around, and we hope you enjoy our little blog as much as we enjoy eating and watching strange movies.

Cheers!
Dani and Ron