I must admit that my experience with Twitter is limited. I’ve been testing it with a nonprofit political organization I help run in Ohio. The number of “followers” we have is fairly small at this point, but growing steadily.

Most of our “tweets” are actually generated by an automated tool to post our RSS feed, resulting in about 10 tweets a week. I and one other officer have been occasionally adding original tweets about important topics, events, or guests on our radio show. So there are maybe 15 to 20 tweets total every week.

We’ve been on Twitter for about 2 months, and it is starting to show up in our our site statistics as one of the top 20 drivers of link traffic. But it’s difficult to judge the true effectiveness of this new social medium on our donations, sales, newsletter signups, or support.

I realize that we’re not using Twitter to its fullest capability, but it seems to be worthwhile for the minimal effort we’re putting in. It’s easy to set up (maybe 10 minutes total). And publishing the feed takes no effort at all.

Many people say it’s effective, often claiming a 10% to 100% boost in traffic. Most just say it’s great or has great potential without sharing stats. Some say it’s a total waste of time.

So my question is, what is your experience with Twitter? Is it driving Web traffic? Are you seeing more sales? How are you using it? What works and what doesn’t? Has anyone else tried it with a nonprofit or political organization?

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Man’s head explodes in barber’s chair.

Woman with 4 legs opens dance studio.

Skiing squirrel dies trying to break 196 m.p.h. speed record!

Cow crashes domino game.

Inflate-a-Boob. New breast implants take gals from flat to fabulous … in seconds!

And these are just the beginning. Alex Eckelberry from Sunbelt Blog turned me on to a collection of Weekly World News back issues preserved in all their eye-popping glory by Google Books.

This stuff is like a Barnum and Baily nightmare. But they hold a treasure of incredible headlines that, while weird and over-the-top, work like money machines. I mean, they certainly sell these publications.

If you want a quick education in using headlines to get attention and get people reading (which is the #1 purpose of any headline), spend some time with these marvels of unabashedly hardcore copywriting. Notice the startling choice of words and extreme specificity.

Pig-nosed man roasted alive in fire-walk tragedy!

Headless ghost haunts railroad tracks … looking for his booze and smokes!

18 things you never knew about Hank the angry drunken dwarf!

Loving her was easy - until she took off her clothes!

Ghost airliner brings back dead rock starts

Rub the famous magic fish … and get anything you want!

Teen’s hair changes color … with her mood!

Half of U.S. hookers are space aliens - and they don’t have sex organs!

Man makes $60,000 a year as human lawn jockey

Is your cat from mars?

London man is electrolysist by day and … werewolf by night. “I know all about unwanted hair growth says spa employee.”

Secretary lifts car off boss - and he fires her!

Iraqi elephant man keeps 10 wives happy! His trunk is his secret charm, says neighbors.

Supreme Court judges are naked under robes!

Nazi UFOs to attack U.S.

Chain-smoker kicks 30-year habit … then chokes to death on wad of nicotine gum!

Want more? Browse this collection of trashy tabloids.

Related posts:

1. Learn to write headlines at the grocery store!

The word freelance comes from the Middle Ages, when there were basically two types of knights. There were the knights who worked exclusively for one king. Then there were the “free lancers,” or knights who worked for anyone who would pay them.

The idea of freelancing is still with us, but kings have been replaced by businesses, while knights have been replaced by professionals of all kinds. Today there are more freelancers than ever before and more freelancing opportunities as well. But it’s important to have a firm understanding of what freelance really means today.

Here’s a good definition:

A freelancer or freelance worker is a person who pursues a profession without a long-term commitment to any one employer.

This describes freelancing pretty well. The part about having no long-term commitment to one employer is easy to understand. It is quite different from being a full-time employee.

As an employee, you enter into a contract with an employer. The deal is that you show up every day and do a certain type of work. In return, you get a regular paycheck and benefits. Your contract is exclusive, meaning you work for that one employer and (generally) no other.

As a freelancer, you also enter into contracts, but with many “employers.” The deal is that you will do a certain type of work, but you can generally do the work at any location you choose, and the work is usually on a project-by-project basis. In return, you get paid for the work you do according to a fee that you and the business mutually agree to for each project. There are usually no benefits. Your contract is non-exclusive, meaning you may work for as many other businesses as you like.

Some types of freelancing end up being very much like employment in that you often work for just one business at a time. Years ago, I worked for an ad agency on a freelance, but nearly full-time, basis. Later I did the same thing with a “book packager,” writing and editing school textbooks, again for just one employer and nearly full-time. In both cases, it was possible to take on other freelance work, but it would have been impractical. It was basically a job without benefits.

Let’s go back to the definition of a freelancer:

A freelancer or freelance worker is a person who pursues a profession without a long-term commitment to any one employer.

What about the word “profession”? Well, we can define profession like this:

A profession is an occupation, vocation or career where specialized knowledge of a subject, field, or science is applied.

The best way to understand this is to think about the sort of people who are usually called “professionals.” This includes lawyers, doctors, dentists, architects, accountants, and so on. Those in a professional field are generally respected and often, though not always, highly paid. Teachers, for example, are professionals, but are generally not paid particularly well.

In summary, we can say that a freelancer is an “independent professional.” A person with a career, but not a job. Someone with “employers,” but who is not actually employed.

This may all seem fairly obvious at first glance, but it’s important to keep in mind if you choose to pursue freelancing. Always remember that you are a professional, because you will need specialized knowledge and skills to do the work. And also remember that you are not an employee, because this distinction will affect how you interact with prospects and clients and can substantially affect the path of your career.

Related posts:

1. Are you a versatile freelancer?
2. 11 freelance tips for earning like a pro
3. Service pricing: Hourly rate or fixed fee?

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting a little numb with all the drama.

Fortunately, a good sense of humor can help you survive and even thrive when all those around you are panicking. This applies especially to the advertising and marketing industry, which has been hit pretty hard in this wacky economy.

Whether you’re a copywriter, designer, manager, business owner, salesman, or anyone trying to stay sane, you might find a little inspiration (maybe even a smile) in this small collection of familiar observations.

• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
• You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
• There is absolutely no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.
• Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
• Sometimes, too much to drink isn’t enough.
• The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• If you think there’s good in everyone, you haven’t met everyone.
• Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
• Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
• By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
• Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
• There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
• This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it.
• Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty. And the pig likes it.
• The trouble with life is that you’re halfway though it before you realize it’s a do-it-yourself thing.

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There’s no doubt about it. Business is tough out there. Every day brings more unsettling economic news.

But have things changed as much as some people claim? Has the recession completely changed buyer behavior?

In my opinion, no. Buyer behavior in this recession is very similar to buyer behavior at any other time, but with this important caveat: While people may be buying, they’re being far more cautious and making decisions far more slowly. So it’s harder to sell to them. Harder, not impossible.

Your customers are uncertain and afraid, but they are still essentially the same customers you’ve always had. All the same psychological principles apply, though some are now playing a more prominent roll.

By understanding this and allowing this knowledge to guide your selling strategy, you can give yourself a powerful advantage now and in the boom years to come.

Six things that are particularly important to remember now:

• People love to buy. They love to discover wonderful new products and experiences. In America, and increasingly around the world, people see commerce as a natural and appealing activity.

• People make buying decisions emotionally. They decide based on a feeling, need, or emotion. That’s why intangible benefits are generally the key to persuasion. For any given promotion, you should ask yourself, “What is the emotional hot button here?”

• People need to justify decisions logically. While people make emotional decisions, they justify those decisions with logic and facts. You should always give people the appropriate justification for making a purchase.

• People want to avoid risk. People pursue gain, but the urge to avoid loss is more powerful because it works on a more basic level. In direct marketing, people usually can’t see you or the thing you’re promoting before they part with their money. So there is always a level of distrust and suspicion you must overcome.

• People seek value. Value is not a fixed number. It is a subjective relationship between the thing you are selling and what people perceive its worth to be. The greater the value relative to the price, the more likely people will respond to your offer.

• People buy direct because of convenience and exclusivity. Don’t fool yourself. If your customers could easily find the things you offer at a nearby store, that’s probably where most would buy them because the perceived risk is lower.

These are not foreign concepts. They are always important. But now they are more important than when the market was flush with cash.

While a well-written headline and eye-catching photo can still make someone want what you’re offering, your customer’s fear and logic circuits are now operating on overdrive.

They need stronger justification and greater value than ever before. They also need more assurance that their financial risk is minimal or even that the purchase will save them money.

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Here are 30 timeless direct marketing principles he discovered over the course of his long career:

1. All customers are not created equal. Give or take a few percentage points, 80 percent of repeat business for goods and services will come from 20 percent of your customer base.

2. The most important order you ever get from a customer is the second order. Why? Because a two-time buyer is at least twice as likely to buy again as a one-time buyer.

3. Maximizing direct mail success depends first upon the lists you use, second upon the offers you make, and third upon the copy and graphics you create.

4. If, on a given list, “hotline” names don’t work, the other list categories offer little opportunity for success.

5. Merge/purge names — those that appear on two or more lists — will outpull any single list from which these names have been extracted.

6. Direct response lists will almost always outpull compiled lists.

7. Overlays on lists (enhancements), such as lifestyle characteristics, income, education, age, marital status, and propensity to respond by mail or phone will always improve response.

8. A follow-up to the same list within 30 days will pull 40 to 50 percent of the first mailing.

9. “Yes/No” offers consistently produce more orders than offers that don’t request “No” responses.

10. The “take rate” for negative option offers will always outpull positive option offers at least two to one.

11. Credit card privileges will out-perform cash with order at least two to one.

12. Credit card privileges will increase the size of the average catalog order by 20 percent, or more.

13. Time limit offers, particularly those which give a specific date, outpull offers with no time limit practically every time.

14. Free gift offers, particularly where the gift appeals to self-interest, outpull discount offers consistently.

15. Sweepstakes, particularly in conjunction with impulse purchases, will increase order volume 35 percent, or more.

16. You will collect far more money in a fund-raising effort if you ask for a specific amount from a purchaser. Likewise, you will collect more money if the appeal is tied to a specific project.

17. People buy benefits, not features.

18. The longer you can keep someone reading your copy, the better your chances of success.

19. The timing and frequency of renewal letters is vital. But I can report nothing but failure over a period of 40 years in attempts to hype renewals with “improved copy.” I’ve concluded that the “product” — the magazine, for example — is the factor in making a renewal decision.

20. Self-mailers are cheaper to produce, but they practically never outpull envelope enclosed letter mailings.

21. A pre-print of a forthcoming ad, accompanied by a letter and response form, will outpull a post-print mailing package by 50 percent, or more.

22. It is easier to increase the average dollar amount of an order than it is to increase percentage of response.

23. You will get far more new catalog customers if you put your proven winners in the front pages of your catalog.

24. Assuming items of similar appeal, you will always get a higher response rate from a 32-page catalog than from a 24-page catalog.

25. A new catalog to a catalog customer base will outpull cold lists by 400 to 800 percent.

26. A print ad with a bind-in card will outpull the same ad without a bind-in up to 600 percent.

27. A direct response, direct sale TV commercial of 120-seconds will outpull a 60-second direct response commercial better than two to one.

28. A TV support commercial will increase response from a newspaper insert up to 50 percent.

29. The closure rate from qualified leads can be two to four times as effective as cold calls.

30. Telephone-generated leads are likely to close four to six times greater than mail-generated leads.

Related posts:

1. 3 predictions for the future of direct marketing
2. Get FREE sales and marketing magazines!
3. Direct marketing extra credit reading list

Watch this TV ad I wrote for Sunbelt Software and then I’ll give you the 3 key tactics used in ads like this.

First, let me say that Sunbelt is a top-notch company with a  superior product. So that gives them a big advantage with any marketing effort in any medium.

Here, we wanted to test a TV ad to generate leads for a computer malware program. The ad is directed to IT managers and system administrators. It’s a tough group to convince, so the idea was not to sell the software but to let them try it free.

The formula is simple:

1. Present a problem.
2. Solve the problem.
3. Offer free information.

One big “pain point” with malware and anti-virus programs is that they can be a little buggy and hard to manage. It’s a major irritant, so we used this to get attention and generate interest.

The answer is, of course, our software. By providing benefits and details of the product, we presented a solution to the problem.

The call to action was an offer to try the program free with no cost or obligation. Since we knew the product was superior to competitors, and because tech guys are such a hard sell, the idea was to let the program sell itself.

That’s it. Problem, solution, free information. This formula works in nearly any medium, but it works especially well for TV because you can dramatize the problem and solution.

You can see the same formula at work in nearly any direct response TV ad selling mops, diet pills, or any product. Watch this Billy Mays commercial to see problem / solution in action. The difference is that these TV commercials seek to sell the product directly rather than generate leads. So the formula is problem, solution, direct sell offer.

I didn’t produce the spot, so the final ad deviated from my script a little. Most notably, I would have preferred that the Web address stay on the screen throughout the spot. This is standard practice for lead generation because you want people who are interested to respond even if they’re not entirely sold yet.

In a direct sell spot, you generally save the Web address or phone number for the end of the spot to avoid time-wasting inquiries. People who watch a TV ad all the way through are more likely to be sold on your product. If they respond too soon, they’ll tend to ask questions and require selling on the phone.

Related posts:

1. Get FREE sales and marketing magazines!

But did you ever take a few minutes to read these messages and consider why some of them work?

There are some key copywriting lessons to be learned here. Let’s look at one short scam spam e-mail I received a few months after tax season a couple years back (I collect these things).

Subject Line:

IRS Notification - Tax refund (Internal Revenue Service)

Message:

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $249.30.

Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 3-6 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here

Note: For security reasons, we will record your ip-address, the date and time. Deliberate wrong inputs are criminally pursued and indicated.

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

Copyright 2007, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.

First, the subject line gets your attention. It says it’s from the IRS, which is a government department everyone is familiar with. There are no wild claims, just the suggestion that you may have a tax refund, something everyone wants.

When you open the e-mail, you see a small IRS logo at the top of the message. It looks real, and it is. See for yourself. This adds a touch of credibility.

Then the copy begins without a salutation or any wordy introduction. It simply states a few “facts” bluntly, which create an official tone. It also uses official-sounding words and phrases, such as “calculations,” “fiscal activity,” and “eligible.”

The “offer” is specific and believable: $249.30.

Then comes the call to action: “submit the tax refund request.” It’s simple and direct.

Next comes this: “A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.” This suggests a deadline to encourage a prompt response.

Finally, there’s another call to action and, since this is an e-mail, a direct link to the “form” you are supposed to fill out.

Obviously it’s a scam. The IRS doesn’t communicate by e-mail. They don’t calculate your “fiscal activity.” And you don’t interact with the IRS about your tax return with online forms.

That said, the copy works:

• It includes an attention-grabbing subject line (or headline).
• The message is from a familiar organization.
• It makes a promise about something you want.
• It uses a logo that adds credibility.
• It gets to the point quickly.
• It creates an appropriate tone and includes well-chosen words.
• The offer is specific.
• The call to action is simple and direct.
• It suggests a deadline.
• It provides an easy means of response.

That’s a pretty good copywriting formula.

E-mail scams work in part because some people are gullible and because the messages are sent to so many people odds are there will be enough response to justify the effort.

But they also work because the low lifes who blast them out test lots of messages and see what works and what doesn’t. So the next time you get an e-mail spam scam, read it before you hit the delete button. It’s amazing what you might learn.

Related posts:

1. Huh? Is your e-mail advertising confusing?

I will never give up these beat-up books because when I’m in serious need of a synonym, grammar rule, or other tidbit, these loyal references never let me down.

But when I’m in the heat of writing, I often don’t have time to peruse my reference library. I need something quick. That’s when I turn to a variety of handy online writing resources that can give me what I need in a minute or two.

Here are a few of the best. Bookmark these sites, especially Thesaurus.com, which is so fast and simple I find myself visiting it nearly every day.

Copyright and Plagiarism

• 10 Big Myths about copyright explained
• Copyright & Fair Use
• Plagiarism.org
• U.S. Copyright Office Home Page

Dictionaries and Synonym Tools

• The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language
• Dictionary.com
• Roget’s II: The New Thesaurus
• Synonym.com
• Thesaurus.com

Editing

• Copyediting Terms
• High-speed, high-stakes copy editing
• Proofreading Your Writing
• Self-Editing Checklist

Grammar

• English Glossary of Grammar Terms
• Grammar Slammer
• GrammarBook.com
• Guide to Grammar and Style
• Guide to Grammar and Writing
• HyperGrammar
• Modern English Grammar
• Schoolhouse Rock Lyrics

References

• Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations
• Columbia Encyclopedia
• The Encyclopedia of World History
• The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy
• Resources for Writers and Writing Instructors
• The World Factbook

Style and Usage

• The American Heritage® Book of English Usage
• The Columbia Guide to Standard American English
• Common Errors in English
• The Elements of Style
• The King’s English

Technical Writing

• Technical Report Writing
• Technical Writing
• Writing Guidelines for Engineering and Science Students

No related posts.

While this is just one eye tracking study focused on a particular type of site, I think there are instructive nuggets here for any informational website.

In no particular order, here are 12 results I found particularly interesting.

1.Headlines draw eyes before pictures. This might be surprising for some people since the trend has been to add photos and graphics specifically to draw the eye. Even I have been adding more photos to my blog to spice it up a bit.

But the participants in this study looked at headlines, especially in the upper left of the page, before they looked at photos when they landed on a page. So you can’t rely on eye candy to make up for poor headlines.

2. People scan the first couple words of a headline. Yes, long headlines can work. But this study suggests that people scan the first few words before deciding whether to continue reading.

This means you should front-load your headlines with the most interesting and provocative words. It’s also an argument for getting your keywords up front in headlines.

3. People scan the left side of a list of headlines. This is related to the previous point. When presented with a list of headlines or links, people will scan down the left side, looking at the first couple words, to find something they’re interested in. They don’t necessarily read each line beginning to end.

The implication is the same as before. Get your most mind catching words up front.

4. Your headline must grab attention in less than 1 second. Online readers are grazers. They move fast and nibble. If you want to hook them into spending time reading about something, you have to catch their attention very, very fast.

No nonsense. No meandering copy. No “throat clearing” to fill space. You have to get to the point instantly.

5. Smaller type promotes closer reading. This makes sense because smaller type is harder to read. So, to read it, you have to really focus. Larger type promotes scanning rather than reading.

Be careful with this one. No one is suggesting you shrink your web type to make it barely legible. I think the takeaway is to avoid making your type too big if you want close reading and avoid making it too small if you want to communicate rapidly.

6. Navigation at the top of the page works best. I find this interesting from a design point of view since many sites now use side navigation. I take this one with grain of salt, since the study also shows that side navigation can work fine.

The point may be that anything at the top of a page will be seen immediately. And since top navigation must be simple because of space limits, top navigation is probably much simpler to use.

7. Short paragraphs encourage reading. No surprise here. Even in print this is true. Big blocks of type look imposing and difficult, like reading a Faulkner novel where a paragraph goes on seemingly forever.

In online writing as in most ad writing, you have to forget normal paragraph development. Breaks should be logical, but they’re organized into a flow of ideas rather than distinct paragraphs.

8. Introductory paragraphs enjoy high readership. Just to be clear, an intro paragraph is a content summary that appears after the headline and before the main text. It’s common in some news writing. I’ve also used it in print ads which are designed in the form of an article, often called an “advertorial.”

The downside is that while intros get read, this study says they don’t affect readership of the main text. Maybe they help improve comprehension. The study doesn’t say.

9. Ad placement in the top and left positions works best. For anyone familiar with “heat maps,” this make sense. The eye tends to start in the upper left of a page. So an ad, or anything else, in that area will be noticed.

This is another one you have to be wary of. Ad blindness tends to happen when people get used to seeing ads in a particular place. So even the prime upper left area won’t work so well if you always put ads there.

10. People notice ads placed close to popular content. Obviously. This mimics the well-known idea in the offline world where ads are placed anywhere eyeballs point.

This is why ads right over a urinal work. Men look straight ahead, usually at a blank wall 12 inches from their face when standing at a urinal, so any reading material there will get read.

11. People read text ads more than graphic ads. Not everyone will agree with this one. But it makes sense if you consider that information is usually in the form of text. So people looking for information are looking for text, not pictures.

However, graphics can be useful for conveying information that is difficult to communicate in pure text, such as how something looks, mathematical information, before and after comparisons, etc. Which leads us to the last tactic.

12. Multimedia works better than text for unfamiliar or conceptual information. Reading relies on people having some understanding of the subject. The more familiar they are with the subject, the faster and easier reading is.

If you’re trying to describe a process, for example, a video or illustration conveys this information better than text.

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Okay, quick … what’s it about? Don’t know? Of course not. You have to read the teeny little block of type to find out it has something to do with email. I think it’s software, but I’m not entirely sure.

This is typical of what I call “corporate” ads. These are ads that look pretty, say little, cost a lot, and don’t work very well.

Now I want to make it clear that I’m not a direct response knuckle dragger. I do not think that everyone has to sell everything via direct marketing. Mass marketing, retailing, and other selling strategies are perfectly valid.

However, as a pragmatic marketing guy, I think that you should get what you pay for when spending money on advertising. You should know what you want to accomplish and demand that your ads use the best techniques available to get the job done.

“Corporate” ads are ads that waste money because even if they have a goal, they do very little to accomplish that goal.

The ad above, for example, wants to introduce you to a product or service and even has a free white paper to offer you. But is that instantly apparent? No. Are you likely to take the time to decipher the ad to find out what it’s about? No. Will you download the white paper? Probably not.

What does this ad do wrong? First, it’s not designed to be read. It’s just one big piece of eye-candy. Second, where’s the headline? Is it that light, gray line in 9-point type below the photo? Third, there’s an offer, but it’s hidden waaaay down at the bottom in gray, 7-point type. Fourth, the copy itself is short, small (also 7-point type), and generic. It just doesn’t tell you much.

Like most “corporate” ads, its existence is probably justified by an ad exec somewhere saying it takes “frequency” to get a message across or that the ad establishes an “image” for the product. Or maybe there’s a creative brief somewhere claiming this is a “positioning” ad.

But you know the real reason? The company doesn’t know how to sell or they’ve been convinced that selling is “lowbrow” and beneath them. They probably think that you can either position your product OR sell, but not both, which is a common misconception.

Any competent copywriter could write a benefit headline, copy that explains what’s so great about this product, and a call to action that makes you want to get that white paper. Nearly any designer could lay out this ad to catch the eye, make reading easy, and highlight important items, such as the headline and offer.

And you know what? It would not only get a better response, it would do a better job of establishing an “image” and “positioning” the product because it would actually engage readers, communicate clearly, and entice people to get involved with the ad.

By the way, the title of the white paper is “Engagement Marketing: Partnering With Your Customer for Success.” Is that irony or what?

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The postal service is offering a “sale” this summer. Dead Tree Edition provides the details:

To counteract its declining revenues, the U.S. Postal Service is rolling out incentives to certain organizations that increase the number of items they mail.

Postal officials are reportedly working on a “Summer Sale” program to encourage businesses and non-profit groups to send more direct mail, catalogs, and other Standard-class mail this summer. Sources say it would offer rebates of 20% to 30% for mailers that increase their Standard mail during July, August, and September of this year.

The Postal Service will reportedly file the Summer Sale proposal with the Postal Regulatory Commission this month. The PRC would then have up to 45 days to rule on the proposal.

The program reportedly grew out of discussions between Postmaster General Jack Potter and CEOs of printing and paper companies about how to increase USPS’s volumes during the off-peak summer months. It would apparently be more politically acceptable than Potter’s other idea for countering low summer volumes — temporarily reducing deliveries to five days a week.

How you interpret this depends on whether you’re a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty person. Yes, it’s another sign of economic difficulty. But it’s also a great opportunity for mailers.

The USPS has also announced a “Saturation Mail Incentive Program” with rebates up to 4 cents a piece. You can get a fact sheet on the program here.

While I’ve been critical of the USPS for being a protected monopoly run by the government, it’s nice to see them trying to act more like a true business with competitive tactics like this.

Related posts:

1. U.S. Postal Service: Holidays by the Numbers
2. What happens when you mail stinky cheese?
3. How to write the “classic direct mail package”

First, Melissa Data recently published The Ultimate Marketing Survival Guide for 2009. I wrote the lead article, “Direct mail remains the king of direct marketing.” Just in case you thought direct mail was dead or that tweeting is better than mailing, this article will disabuse you of that faulty assumption.

Next, there’s a fun little article over at Copyblogger titled The 3 Secret Persuasion Techniques Every Kid Knows. You parents will relate to this one. I don’t have children, but I know they’re often tuned into persuasion better than many adults.

Feeling a little burned out? Mary Jaksch asked me to submit some tips for Write to Done in a post titled 7 Easy Ways to Energize Your Creative Powers. If you’re a professional writer, you can’t just wait for the muse to drop by. You need a few techniques for flipping the switch on creativity when you need it.

Finally, there’s one of my regular columns for DM News, one of the most recent is Problem Solver: Is it smart for an online business to use direct mail? I discuss how you can’t let a particular medium dictate your marketing strategy and ways to use direct mail to build your online business.

This should keep you busy for a while.

Related posts:

1. 3 predictions for the future of direct marketing
2. 30 Timeless Direct Marketing Principles
3. Obama marketing mania means big bucks

The teaser envelope is just what it sounds like. It’s a direct mail envelope covered with teaser copy about the envelope contents. This makes it clear that the contents are advertising something. Often there are photos or illustrations, copy details, even a statement of the offer.

The mystery envelope by contrast, generally gives you no clue about the envelope contents. Sometimes the envelope shows nothing more than the return address and postage or looks like a personal communication. The idea here is for the mailing to not look like advertising.

“Official” envelopes are a subset of the mystery envelope. They don’t tell you exactly what’s inside, but they raise the curiosity level by making it appear as if the contents are important and urgent.

Here’s an example I received recently:

This official looking envelope uses a simple red bar across the front with the words “OFFICIAL BUSINESS” and the outline of an eagle, giving it a semi-governmental appearance. The words “Immediate Reply Requested” adds a touch of urgency.

Also note how the Washington D.C. address works with the concept. There’s no printed indicia, but rather metered postage, something used for business correspondence.

No teasers. No handwriting. No pictures. No clue about what’s inside. All you know is that this envelope looks important and better be opened. I knew the technique being used and even I felt compelled to open it.

What’s inside? A renewal notice from Advertising Age. Do I feel tricked? No. And that’s the beauty of the official envelope. While it creates the impression of an urgent message, it doesn’t mislead you in any way.

When should you use an official envelope like this? My general rule is that if there is any doubt about whether you should have teasers on the envelope, go with a mystery envelope. If you’re not sure the plain mystery envelope is right, try the official envelope.

The only caveat is to make sure you don’t carry the idea so far that you end up deceiving and therefore annoying your prospects (and violating basic ethical guidelines). You don’t want to create an envelope that masquerades as a notice from the IRS, for example. The envelope I’ve shown you above is a good example of how to do it right.

Related posts:

1. How to write the “classic direct mail package”
2. See how people sort your direct mail
3. Deceptive direct mail or clever selling tactic?

Here’s one notorious example. A copywriter wrote the following slogan for a cough syrup company:

“Try our cough syrup. You will never get any better.”

You can see what the poor copywriter meant to say, but his slogan can be understood in two ways. It creates major semantic noise and you are left wondering why anyone would buy a product that promises to NOT work.

Here are other examples of semantic noise caused by writers from around the world.

Sign in Norwegian cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.”

Detour sign in Japan: “Stop. Drive Sideways.”

Hotel in Vienna: “In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.”

Elevator in Germany: “Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.”

Dry cleaner window in Bangkok: “Drop your pants here for best results.”

And my favorite from a Japanese hotel: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”

These are all extreme examples, of course. But they show what can happen when you mean to say one thing and your words are understood to mean something else.

Even something as simple as writing “soda” when your audience would normally say “pop” can stop a reader long enough to derail your sales pitch.

The solution? Well, I have three simple suggestions:

1. Look for semantic noise in your copy. Just being aware of the possibility of confusion, and that words do not carry set meaning, can help you avoid this sort of copywriting catastrophe.

2. Don’t write in a rush. I always try to build “cooling off” time into every project. I write, set aside the copy for a day or two, then come back to it with fresh eyes. This always helps you see things you didn’t see in the heat of writing.

3. Show your copy to other people. A client, proofreader, friend, anyone. Fresh, objective eyes can quiet semantic noise in a hurry.

I’ve never created a major piece of semantic noise, but I did once title an article “How to cut down traffic on your Web site.” It was intended to be a snarky look at what not to do if you want more Web traffic. My intended meaning for “cut down” was “reduce.” But the publication editor pointed out that “cut down traffic” made it sound like I wanted to “slay” or “kill” people on a Web site.

Semantic noise happens to all of us. So keep your ears open.

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1. “Bite the wax tadpole,” said the copywriter.

But simple and cheap doesn’t always translate into “successful.” Sometimes I receive an e-mail that makes me say, “Huh?”

This recently happened when I received the e-mail ad pictured to the right.

First, I can’t read the copy. Maybe that makes me unsophisticated, but sorry, I don’t speak or read French.

Second, what exactly does “Air Email” mean? It appears to be the name of the company but, huh? Is this supposed to be like Air Mail? That used to mean mail transported by plane, signifying that it was delivered fast. Today Air Mail is a trademark of the United States Postal Service and refers to international mail.

Third, this is spam. The main part of the message is an image, meaning they are purposely trying to bypass spam filters. And in this case, it worked. They do provide what appears to be an opt-out at the bottom, but I won’t click on it because it may be a way to confirm that my e-mail address is valid and invite more spam.

Fourth, I live in the U.S. The e-mail is in French. So there appears to be no targeting of this message. It’s probably just a compiled list, another red flag that this is spam.

Apart from the spam issue, this all adds up to a confusing e-mail message. I can’t read it. “Air Email” makes no sense. It looks like spam. And it seems to be sent at random rather than to me personally. When people are confused, they don’t respond.

This is an extreme example, but it makes the point: Clarity is vital in any advertisement, including e-mail.

The “from” address should make sense. The from address on this e-mail is “Communication.” Huh?

The subject line should be clear. If your target audience doesn’t understand it instantly, the e-mail gets deleted instantly. Like the rest of the message, the subject line here is French.

The “to” information should be your recipient. This e-mail is addressed to “42290831259.” Great, I’m just a number.

The offer should be stated very early in the text. People won’t spend any time at all searching for it. I’ll give them points for this one. The offer (in French) is right at the top.

The message should nearly always be short. No one wants to read long e-mails. So no matter how clear the copy really is, too much of it will make people wonder what they’re missing if they don’t read it, which they won’t, so they click delete. This one is short, so more points.

The copy should be clear and direct. Just because it’s e-mail doesn’t mean you can get away with sloppy copy. Oh, and it should be in the same language as the recipient! Clear copy here? No clue.

The links should be worded clearly. Example: If you’re offering a free e-book, the link text should include the words “Free E-Book.” In this e-mail, they appear to provide check boxes and have a “click here” link at the bottom, but actually the whole thing is a clickable image. So no points for this sleight of hand.

The e-mail should follow all best practices. This isn’t just to avoid spam complaints. It helps create trust. Given what I’ve already said, this particular e-mail fails the test for trust.

When you’re creating or sending an e-mail, always ask yourself, “Does this make sense to the people I’m sending it to?” Or should I say, “Est-ce logique de les personnes à qui je l’envoyer à?” (I used Google Translate for that.)

Related posts:

1. 4 subject line tricks to boost e-mail open rates

Has it hurt them? Well, when the band recently released its new album, Black Ice, it went straight to the top of the Billboard charts, selling 784,000 copies in the first week. So I’d say no. Their lack of innovation seems to be working quite nicely, thank you.

We live in a time of endless, often mindless, change. DVDs killed VHS, and now your DVDs face their own mortality. You thought you’d caught up when you got that tiny little cell phone, now big Blackberries with keyboards are the rage. The GPS is cool, but the maps were out of date the moment you got into your car.

Everywhere you turn, something is changing and that out-of-breath feeling you used to get now and then is with you every day. And all you want is to find something that’s stable and familiar.

Thus the success of AC/DC. No, they’re not the best musicians in the world. No, they’re not hip or up-to-date. In fact, I contend that they’re as popular as ever and selling out shows because they’ve made no effort at all to stay current. They aren’t interested in updating their skill set. They refuse to embrace new technology. And no, they aren’t going to revise their corporate mission to better serve their customers.

These aging, stubborn dinosaurs give their fans exactly what they want: the same songs, the same sound, the same show, the same attitude. Why? Because new isn’t always better.

When they recorded their first album (and I do mean album, pure, luscious vinyl), they established their product. It was good. Album after album, they kept producing the same product, over and over and over. After all, why fix it if it ain’t broke?

Okay, so what does this have to do with advertising? A lot, actually. Because while most advertising needs improved or updated over time, sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone. If it works, it works. Change for the sake of change makes no sense.

Take the De Beers “A Diamond is Forever” ad campaign. Copywriter Frances Gerety coined that phrase in 1948. It’s one of the best and most recognized slogans of all time and has remained unchanged for over 60 years.

Should the company meddle with it? Maybe tweak it to say, “Diamonds Last Quite a Long Time” or “Got Diamonds?” or maybe “Don’t Buy a Toaster for Her Anniversary, You Dolt. Get Her a Diamond!”

No, the original phrase and the basic campaign has worked, does work, and will continue to work. No change is required.

Or how about the Maytag repair man? The character of “Ol’ Lonely” was created by copywriter Vincent R. Vassolo and has appeared in countless TV commercials since 1967. It was a simple but brilliant idea: Maytag appliances are so dependable, the repairman is bored out of his mind. The actor playing the role has changed a few times, but not the core idea. Since it still works, the company has wisely kept using it.

What’s the longest running ad ever? That just may be an advertisement for the Jos. Neel Co., a clothing store in Macon, Georgia. They have run their tiny little ad in the upper left corner of the Macon Telegraph every single day since February 22, 1889. That’s 120 years. Innovation? Fuggeddaboudit!

The famous ad man Leo Burnett once said, “I have learned that any fool can write a bad ad, but that it takes a real genius to keep his hands off a good one.”

Absolutely right.

In a world where change is a tiring constant, those few things that remain the same become comfortable and familiar friends. People like to do business with friends.

The next time you’re in a meeting and someone suggests an overhaul to your advertising, ask one simple question: “Why?” If there’s a good answer to that question, call me. If not, end the meeting, pass out the adult beverages, and crank up the AC/DC.

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Here’s a video from Pitney Bowes illustrating this simple idea.

Let me first say that I disagree with the comment that a plain envelope is “boring.” The fact is, a plain envelope, especially one that looks personal, is a great way to get people to actually open the envelope and look at what’s inside.

Most of the other comments are worthy of consideration. For example, you have to get the recipient name and address right. Nothing will kill a mailer faster than addressing it to the wrong person. You must clean your list before you mail. And please remember to make sure you’re sending just one mailer to a home address unless you intend otherwise. I’ve been seeing a lot of waste recently with the same mailing arriving for various spellings of my name and my wife’s name.

Don’t take the list for granted just because you’re a copywriter or designer. It’s true this isn’t your direct responsibility. But like it or not, employers and clients will judge you (at least in part) based on the performance of a mailing.

Read more tips on mail at Pitney Bowes.

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1. Is it junk mail if you say it ain’t so?
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3. Good direct mail design: let form follow function

The photo shows a fairly typical snap pack: outer envelope that opens with one or more perforated strips, inserts, and order form. It’s really just a direct mail package that looks official.

While writing a column on this snap pack for DM News recently, I chatted with Ted Grigg about the snap pack format and thought it was so interesting that I decided to do a formal interview and share his know-how with you.

By way of introduction, Ted is the owner of DMCG, LLC, a direct marketing consultancy based in Dallas, Texas. Ted is what you might call a one-man “think tank” for direct marketing. If you’re not reading his blog, start. You’ll learn something with every post.

Ted is one of the smartest guys in direct marketing and was there when the snap pack burst onto the scene.

Dean: When was the snap pack invented?

Ted: To my knowledge, the Snap Pack was first tested by National Liberty Corporation in Valley Forge, PA in 1981.

Dean: Where did the idea come from?

Ted: In the late 70’s and early 80s, the IRS used UARCO’s continuous form Snap Pack to issue tax notices to millions of people. They were cheap to produce and personalize in large quantities using mainframe computers running the old 1430 impact printers.

Dean: Why do you think snap packs have worked so well over the years?

Ted: They looked like an official announcement by the government. The copy in successful Snap Packs also mimicked the well-known telegraph style with short sentences and factual information provided in the form of news or an important, special announcement. It was also like a special bulletin devoid of high pressures selling. Yet it was high pressures, because it sounded like something that was enacted by law.

In fact, some Snap Packs looked so official for Senior Medicare Supplement health care products that some state insurance regulators disallowed the use of Snap Packs in their states for long periods of time. It was considered deceptive advertising by some state insurance commissioners.

Dean: Are there certain types of offers well-suited to snap packs? Any that don’t work well?

Ted: Products that require high quality packaging and beautiful 4 color photography do not lend themselves to the Snap Pack sell. These would include such things as luxury automobiles, high-end cosmetics or portrait photography. Insurance, financial, training, fund raising and other non tangibles do well using the Snap Pack format and copy style. This approach still has applications that have not yet been tested and could probably beat a number of present direct mail controls.

Dean: How economical are snap packs compared to other formats?

Ted: In quantities of 100,000 or more, only large postcards or single piece self mailers cost less. You get 4 into 1 pieces for the price of a self mailer, yet the pulling power often exceeds the classic envelope package.

Dean: Does it take special equipment or stock to manufacture snap packs? How are they made?

Ted: It depends how you define the Snap Pack. There is only one supplier that still runs large volumes of Snap Packs using impact printing. The price is competitive, but the volumes are limited.

There are Snap Pack hybrids that have performed well and displaced a number of controls. But the people on the creative team need to familiarize themselves with the elements that make the classic Snap a winner and follow those as a guideline in the copy and design.

Dean: How different are today’s snap packs? I remember they used to have transferable carbon spots on the inside.

Ted: Yes they did. And those carbon spots gave the whole package its pulling power. The splotchy personalized names and addresses made it clear that the message was more important than the look. These packages are downright ugly, and that’s exactly why they work so well.

Think of the emergency broadcasting system. It sounds terrible on the radio and TV with that irritating “Beep… Beep… Beep,” but it grabs your attention. The message is more important than the production quality.

Dean: What is the typical call to action? Phone? Mail?

Ted: The action is the same as it would be for any offer made by the company. It can be every means available depending upon how recipients want to respond. We even associate a landing page for Internet response as we do for any other format.

Dean: Do snap packs work well for driving response to Web offers?

Ted: Snap Packs work well to drive response, period. The challenge is to get noticed, then investigated, then immediate response. These packages work well as two-step or one-step. The flexibility is the same as any other direct mail format when it comes to the offer.

Dean: I’ve seen snap packs used a lot for driving phone calls to hard-sell “get-rich-quick” businesses. Are there any negative associations with this format today because of this?

Ted: None that I know of. The proof is in the test results. And Snap Packs just win if they are created correctly. The heaviest users in the last few years were with banks, membership, fund raising and insurance companies.

Dean: Are there any special tricks for making a snap pack work well?

Ted: Yes. Keep it neat but official. Use serif fonts and don’t get too fancy with the layout. Keep the copy to-the-point with heavy use of bulleted benefits. Make it look official with return addresses that say “From the Department of …” and seals that look like they were created in George Washington’s day.

Dean: An AARP snap pack I saw recently included a thick plastic membership card. Are inserts typical for snap packs?

Ted: Yes. We’ve used temporary paper and plastic membership cards, personalized address labels, plastic car seals and just about anything else that could be used in standard envelope packages.

Dean: All things being equal, will a direct mail package outperform a snap pack?

Ted: The Snap Pack is a direct mail package, except that it is produced by a forms manufacturer in a continuous format. And better than 50% of the time, it will outperform anything out there in the direct mail kingdom if done correctly for products that do not need four-color support.

Dean: Is there some special power in the snap pack format, or is it really a matter of economical production?

Ted: It is more the power of the format and style rather than lower production costs. The cost in large quantities (over one million) will cost about the same or a little less for small envelope packages. Manufacturing processes today no longer require a continuous form Snap Pack to get maximum economies of scale.

Dean: Thanks, Ted. As always, talking to you is like attending a graduate course on direct marketing.

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In today’s mail I received five postcards. Actually, it was 3 postcards and 2 postcard-sized self-mailers, but let’s not split hairs. The point is that many more businesses are turning to cheap mail formats.

Here’s one from the Great Indoors, a home decorating store. Others I received include a card from a health center reminding my wife to get a checkup, another from the same health center offering a health seminar, an offer from a carpet cleaning service, and an upgrade offer for a business contact program.

A few observations about these postcards. Except for the carpet cleaning offer, they’re all from businesses we have purchased from in the past. Three use discount offers, either low-price deals or a percentage off. Four ask for a call, one drives retail. Four are from businesses that have previously sent larger mailers. The carpet cleaner, however, always uses postcards.

My mail is not necessarily representative, but it seems half of my mail now is postcards, with few envelope packages (except from charities).

My contacts in the printing industry confirm that mailings are getting more frugal: smaller formats, fewer bells and whistles, more one and two-color jobs, and lots and lots of postcards.

For copywriters and designers who are used to long-format mailings, this means you’re going to have to learn how to communicate faster for some of your work. Copy must be crisp and offer-focused. Design must be simple and direct.

This isn’t a bad thing. While I like long-form and do quite a bit of it, I’ve always been a shortest-distance-between-two-points kind of guy. I like to keep things simple. And I like to put the offer front and center whenever possible. Simple messages tend to give you better odds for success.

Long form isn’t dead, though. I still have many long form controls. But I think the economy is forcing people to cut the fat from their promotions and this will probably be good for the industry long-term.

What are you getting in your mail? Are you seeing the same trend?

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