I get lots of questions from direct sellers through my social media channels every week, and once in a while I come across one that I think would make a great blog post. That happened last month.

Here's the question (and I'm guessing this could sound familiar to just about every direct sales leader out there):

"I am a leader of a growing direct sales team. For the most part, things are running smoothly and most are working their businesses. I enjoy being a leader, but I have a team member who is draining me. How do you deal with someone who doesn't respect your time? She calls non-stop for questions that could easily wait, and if I don't answer she immediately follows with a text and Facebook message and won't stop until I acknowledge her. I know as a leader I am responsible for making sure she knows what she needs to know to succeed in her business, but we're talking minor questions that are not THAT urgent.

I've told her multiple times that I do not answer my phone on Sundays so I can spend one day with my family uninterrupted, but that doesn't stop her. I'm not a mean person (I'm really not). I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by saying something but at the same time, I need her to know I cannot be available 24/7. Any suggestions on how to handle a situation like this"?

Here's my answer:

"You have choices here and it sounds to me like you've forgotten that. If you stop responding to her, she'll get the message and stop bothering you. It's not a big deal to ignore a text or delete an e-mail. Let her know that part of your job as a leader is to teach her to be resourceful and take responsibility for her own business so that she can lead others in the same way you lead her.

To that end, set up a once a week, 15 minute appointment with her and let her know you won't be available for the rest of the week unless it's an emergency. And then (and here's the hard part), STICK TO YOUR GUNS! I guarantee you, if you stop responding, she'll get the message and start thinking for herself. It's not your responsibility to be at her beck and call and you do owe your team a duplicatable leader. Answering every single question from every single representative on your team immediately is totally unrealistic, and it isn't duplicatable.

So set the ground rules clearly with this consultant, and then stick to your end of the bargain. There's nothing mean about that and it shouldn't feel uncomfortable or make you feel guilty."

Setting boundaries is always hard, especially for women. We tend to have a strong drive to nurture, and we want to make sure everyone is happy and succeeding. If you're a leader, please get this…the success or failure of your team members is not your responsibility. Take a deep breath and just let that settle. You cannot make someone else succeed, no matter how much you want to. All you can do (and all you're responsible to do) is to give them the information they need and then support them in partnership as they take action, take responsibility, and step up to the plate for themselves. The more you understand this, the more effective you'll be (and the happier your life will become).

And just to wrap this post up nicely, here's the response I received from her just last week:

"I took your advice and stopped answering every time she called. She got the point! Not only that, she's figured out how to be self sufficient Thanks again for your help!"

And by the way, if you have questions about your direct sales business, please head over to my Facebook Fan Page, "Like" the page, and post them on the wall there. I'm there all day every Monday (at least) and am very happy to support you with a little advice if I can. Plus, you'll benefit from some of the other brilliant questions and answers that are posted there each week even when you don't have a question of your own.

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Julie Anne Jones is a direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific systems, language, and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.

During my live events I talk a lot about deciding what you want and then creating an action plan for getting it. I also share a concept that I learned years ago from one of my mentors. I start by telling the audience this story.

There's a country in some tropical part of the world where they trade in live monkeys. They trap the monkeys by setting out closed cages right in the middle of where they come to feed each day. Inside each cage, the trappers place a whole banana. The slats of the cage are just large enough for the monkeys to carefully insert their flat hand into the cage and grab the banana. The slats aren't wide enough, however, for them to remove their hand when it's gripping a banana. That's generally how the trappers find the monkeys when they come to check the traps. With their hands clinging to the bananas, refusing to let go and doomed to capture. Occasionally, an enlightened monkey figures it out, decides the banana isn't worth it, let's go and says, "I'm outta here." But those monkeys are rare. It's just too difficult to let go of the banana for the majority of the monkeys.

Most of us have no trouble defining what we want, but when it comes to taking action, we cling to our excuses (just like the monkeys cling to those bananas) to justify not achieving our goals.

A good story is quite simply an excuse for why you were too tired, too busy, too overwhelmed, too broke, too sick, too distracted, too affected by the economy, etc. to actually make things happen. And here's the formula I share with my audience once they're clear about what "good stories" are and have identified their own:

A good story + no results ≠ RESULTS!!
(Remember that "not equal to" sign in grade school?)

If it's important enough to you, you'll find a way. If it's not, you'll find an excuse (or a good story). And by holding on to your good stories, you're literally staying trapped. So, right here, right now, I'd like you to consider what bananas you're clinging to, and whether or not you're willing to let go of them in order to free yourself to begin creating the life and business you truly want. Instead of finding a "good story" and settling for no results, see if you can find an action step that you could take that would move you in the direction of what you want. You'll be amazed at what will happen if you start to recognize and let go of your own "good stories."

And if you're brave and feel like sharing some of them below, I'd love that.

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You may, as long as you do not alter it and include the following information (with active links as appropriate)

Julie Anne Jones is a direct sales corporate consultant, coach, and trainer, and the CEO of Julie Anne Jones, Inc. She is known for her authentic and easy-to-use scripting and specializes in specific systems, language, and tools for success in direct sales. To learn more about Julie Anne and her products and services, and to read her weekly blog posts, visit her at www.julieannejones.com.

There's so much going on in my business right now, and the most exciting thing is the opportunity I'm getting to reach more direct sellers and work with some inspiring and amazing people. Last year, one of those people was Dana Wilde, who contacted me about a really unique event she started called The Mind Aware Teleseminar Series and invited me to be a part of it.

That was a year ago, and a lot has happened since. Dana and I have become great friends and started our own mastermind group with 3 other amazing direct sales speakers (we call ourselves Team Advantage). I participated in both Mind Aware series last year, and now we're getting ready to start the third season, called "Practice Makes Progress."

I have to say that Dana is one of the most amazing, giving, positive people I've ever met, and that authenticity shines through in everything she does (including this series). She has blessed my life and business and I can't imagine either without her.

In case you haven't been introduced to Dana or The Mind Aware Series, It's a twice-weekly teletraining event that offers the perfect opportunity for network marketing professionals and party plan entrepreneurs to grab some fantastic education at NO CHARGE!!

Each one of the 24 guest trainers (including yours truly and some of the absolute best trainers in the industry) will be bringing their newest and freshest ideas to the table, and Dana will be interviewing them all. She has a knack for getting the greatest amount of information possible into each one hour time slot. And here's the best part – even if you can't make the live calls, Dana sends out a replay so you can listen when you have time within the next few days after each interview. She's the only one I've ever found who does that with a free tele-series like this.

I'm speaking on a brand new topic for me, "From Overwhelm to Organized" and I can't wait to share some very cool new ways to get your life and business organized. My call is on Thursday, April 12th.

There are 23 speakers besides me including: Dana Wilde, Belinda Ellsworth, Karen Phelps, Mary Christensen, Shari Hudspeth, Andrea Waltz, Pat Pearson, Shachena Gibbs, Sue Rusch, Karen Clark, Linda Sturdivant, Casey Eberhart, Lynsey Jones, Tammy Stanley, Deb Bixler, Becky Spieth, Lyndsey Baigent, Teresa Garrison, Julie Henderson, Anne Howie, and more. Wow!

Go ahead and click here to see the complete bios of these rock star trainers and get enrolled. You'll get access to lots of free gifts from all of us as well as some awesome pre-recorded teleseminars you can access immediately as soon as you sign up.

The teleseminar runs Every Tuesday & Thursday at 12:00 PM Eastern (11:00 AM Central, 9:00 AM Pacific) starting Tuesday, February 7th, 2012 (That's next week!)
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Hope to "see" you on the calls!