Dirty Footprints Studio

In My Moleskine

2013-05-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's starting to get HOT in the desert...
so my days of sketching outside are numbered!

To Take A {Sacred} Pause

2013-05-15T21:12:00.002-07:00

When it comes to the sacred, I feel that we are living in very precarious times. Just scroll on Facebook and I'm certain you will find someone trying to sell you that business is sacred--money is sacred--chasing your dream is sacred.

But from my experience, this is not true.

I have great reverence for the work that I do, the container that supports it, and even the commerce that is generated from it. But my work in itself is just that. Work.

I believe the sacred is of a deeper fiber.

Something that can't be measured in dollar signs or fall under some standard of success.

I find the sacred almost impossible to express in words.

But when it is present, I feel it. Sometimes I can even see it.

The sacred doesn't bring me a high or some ethereal bliss. Instead it flows through me like rain or blood or oxygen. It cleanses and purifies at its best.

The sacred was truly present in my six day IGNITE Immersion in Sedona with my beloved FEARLESS Painters. The sacred surfaced when we each surrendered to the process. When we leaned into the mystery and reached out to our own personal magic....the sacred was there.

This sacred is what I long to understand. This sacred is what I desire to share with other women. This sacred is what I wish to go deeper into and bring forth in my life--my relationships.

My intention was to offer another session of IGNITE starting this September--one that was more condensed--more affordable--more neat. But I've decided instead to take a pause. To allow the teachings from this current sacred experience to process and marinate before I set out on another journey.

This decision scares me a little, which confirms that it is the right decision. It would be easier to just go through the motions and share the incredible content that already exists for IGNITE--but I would be denying the truth that at the core of IGNITE is something much more powerful than the lessons themselves.

It is the sacred.

I see that now. I understand.

Now it is my responsibility to be the gardner of that sacred and patiently wait for the right time for it to bloom again.

Sacred

2013-05-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

We have each made our way back home.

Literally. Spiritually. Creatively.

Now it's time to process.

Amazing Amazing Amazing

2013-05-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at day 2 of the IGNITE FEARLESS Painting Teacher Training Immersion in Sedona, one of the things we did was FEARLESS Painting collaborations.

It was freaking awesome, to say the least!

There is nothing like spending a week with a group of amazing creatives ready to set the world on fire with their creativity and big hearts!!!

I love doing this work of guiding women into becoming empowered, self reliant, amazing teachers--that I decided last night that I need to make it more easier for others to join this experience too. I just extended the payment plan---email me if you need more information!! I would love for you to join IGNITE this September!!

An Incredible Journey Begins

2013-05-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I drove into my beloved Sedona and spent a few hours setting up the space for my week long IGNITE Immersion that begins today.

The amazing women in my FEARLESS® Painting Teacher Training program IGNITE have traveled from all over North America and even as far as the Netherlands to gather here for a week of strengthening their teaching practice and deepening their own Artist path!

Before my day was over, I took a short hike along an empty trail and prayed for guidance and wisdom so that I shall be of the greatest service to these women who have traveled so far--literally, creatively, and spiritually. But most of all I prayed in gratitude for this great gift I have in my life--the gift to guide other women into a life of sharing their passion and creativity--in bringing more beauty and healing into the world.

It is such an honor for me to do the work that I do. It is such a joy to gather in circle with wise, creative, heart centered women.

So as I take a deep breath...today starts an incredible journey.

If you too are feeling called to the path of teaching and transformation--today can be the start of an incredible journey for you as well. Registration for my next session of IGNITE opens today.

To learn more about this incredible program, please go HERE.

In Transition

2013-05-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe one day I'll tell you about this journey I've been on.

Or maybe it won't matter by then.

But for now, the only way I can express this hard and sacred time,
is by capturing little bits of it
in my sketchbook,
on my iPhone,
and in the privacy of my journal.

Thank you for holding space for me as I navigate in transition.

My Healing Journal {Episode 2}

2013-05-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

For episode one of My Healing Journal please go HERE.

One Year Old

2013-04-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Phoenix!

There are no words to express how much I love and adore you.

Thank you for picking me as your Mom.

Happy 1 Year Old!!!

I Live An Ordinary Life

2013-04-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

I've always considered myself an Artist--even when I was an itty bitty. But I can remember when I was younger, especially in high school, when I thought being an Artist was really glamorous. And, well, I guess for some Artists it is. But for me, it's quite ordinary.

I sketch in hospital waiting rooms.

I'm over the moon when Phoenix drops down for a nap so I can grab a little longer time to sketch his angelic face.

Sometimes Hansel will run into the grocery store for something, and I'll sit in the parking lot making grey scales in my sketchbook.

Glamorous? Not quite.

But steady, consistent, and interesting (well at least to me)--yes. Nourishing to my Spirit? Without a doubt.

I'll tell you a secret...sometimes I feel a little insecure about this. My inner critic thinks I should be dashing from one exotic location to another to claim that I'm living the Artist life. That I should be oozing out canvas after canvas and stacking up licensing deals and tripping over piles of magazine articles, but truthfully, that's not me.

I've had gallery shows before in my twenties. I've sold art on Etsy and one year I had almost 50 commissions for FEARLESS Paintings. But none of that made me as happy as just creating for me and sharing what I find with the students I am blessed to be trusted by, or with you here on Dirty Footprints Studio.

And somehow, I've been able to make a living from this. Not that I haven't worked my ass off, and still do. But I don't let what others think I should be doing as an Artist define what I do naturally--that feels right to me.

I spent most of my adult life chasing the dream of being an Artist, but it wasn't until I truly started listening to my heart in the here and now--and just doing what feels right to me--that I actually was able to do it as a self sustainable living. All those years in my twenties and early thirties were certainly not a waste. I gained so much experience, knowledge, and life wisdom from trying out different versions of the dream of being an Artist, but I was always striving for something, always trying to get somewhere.

I feel like I finally arrived. I'm not talking about financial or professional success--but to something greater: my own comfortability with who I am in this world, and what gifts I'm here to share. Because of this, each day becomes an unveiling of something new--instead of another day of trying to get closer to some greater version of this life I'm blessed with.

So ordinary? I'm ok with that. Actually I think I make ordinary extraordinary.

Seeing Red

2013-04-24T08:03:00.000-07:00

For Those Afraid Of Drawing

2013-04-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Most of the time before I start sketching, I have something in mind that I am interested in learning or achieving.

Either I want to strengthen my drawing skills by practicing, or sharpen the way I look at things, or figure out these watercolors, or simply have fun and play around with my materials. But to be honest, I haven't sat down yet with the intention to draw ultra-realistic--or even realistic at that. That doesn't mean I won't some day, but that doesn't interest me at all.

So lately, many Artists online have expressed to me their fears around sketching and drawing. I have a sense that they might be putting some pretty lofty expectations on themselves when they sit down with a pen or pencil.

It's so IMPORTANT to remember that the life of an Artist is a journey. We ALL have to start somewhere and creating safe little containers for ourselves as we grow our skills and confidence is so important.

What do I mean?

Well, when I sit down with the intention to simply practice drawing I really am granting myself a nice little container to mess up and most especially to use as my time to learn in. What becomes important is the work I'm doing in the container--rather than the finished product itself.

For example, in the sketch in this post, I was interested in discovering how to sketch something with all these little parts and pieces to it. As I sketched it more and more I started to learn that I wasn't really looking at the relationships between things--and that's what was making my drawing a bit wonky.

Holy schmoly! That was a HUGE lesson to learn for me!

And so, my sketch is far from perfect, but now I've gained something that will help me on the next page. So that's it. I move on. I get better. I grow.

This goes for all Artists. No matter if today is the first day you pick up a sketchbook or if you've been doing this Art thaaaang all your life--as Artists there is ALWAYS room to grow.

So a great way to face your fear around sketching and drawing is to start simple and easy.

Begin with sketching objects that have simple shapes and lines--such as fruit and vegetables. Practice really looking at them and sketching their basic shapes. That's it. Don't worry about shading or making it look realistic. And yes--they of course are going to look simple--that's the point. But just allow yourself this time to begin understanding how simple shapes and lines are the foundation of all sketches.

And most especially: practice. You'll learn how stronger your Artist eye will become and how sharper your skill will become the more you practice!

Thank you to all the beautiful Souls that shared my free online workshop: FEARLESS® Painting For Art Journaling--and thank you to everyone that has dived right in and started painting FEARLESS®!! My heart is doing cartwheels over all the beauty we are creating together in the world by sharing our light!!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

FEARLESS Painting For Art Journaling

2013-04-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to share a free FEARLESS® Painting For Art Journaling workshop with my beautiful readers of Dirty Footprints Studio. This workshop was originally a part of Life Book 2012, hosted by Tam Laporte. But now it is yours free here on Dirty Footprints Studio.

In this two video + one PDF workshop I share with you a lighthearted way to incorporate the FEARLESS® Painting Process into your art journal while also diving into a simple, but extremely powerful, breathing technique I practice to access my heart center any time I encounter fear in my creative process or those challenging life circumstances.

The beauty of the FEARLESS® Painting Process is that you don’t have to resurrect any traumatic memories or poke at difficult feelings to prompt healing. Plus no special skills or prior knowledge is required to access your heart center. All you need is the willingness to trust the process and to give it a try!!

Please use this workshop as simply a guide and not a set of rules that you must abide to. FEARLESS® Painting is meant to tap into that inner wisdom we all possess--the inner wisdom that communicates to us through subtle feelings and not words or heavy concepts. So when you find yourself over thinking things--or slipping into a pattern of negative self talk--please forgive yourself by simply returning to the paintbrush.

I’ve found that some of the best and most profound healing happens when I simply let myself experience joy. It is my deepest wish to help facilitate a little FEARLESS® Painting joy in your life with this simple workshop. Wishing you great joy and transformation!

Please click HERE for your downloadable PDF and enjoy the following videos.

PART ONE

PART TWO

Happy Art Journaling!

__________________________

Another Dirty Footprints Studio FREE workshop...

Total Alignment is a FREE online FEARLESS® Painting workshop that helps creative souls align their heart-mind-bodies with their creative source through FEARLESS® Painting and yoga. If you are feeling stuck or out of alignment with your creativity--this free workshop will give you a loving nudge back! You can find it HERE.

Starting

2013-04-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

When I start a new writing journal, I always pick a card to set the intention for the journal. In card I mean either an oracle card or an animal card or even a tarot card.

It's just a little ritual I like to do.

But I've never thought of doing that for a sketchbook or an art journal, until now.

So before starting this new Moleskine sketchbook I picked a card from my Earth Magic deck and received "Iceberg: Submerged".

I don't know, it feels like a heavy card to pick, but we shall see what is in store as this sketching adventure progresses.

What's also kind of interesting, is that the horse has decided to make a visit to my sketchbook already.

Last sketchbook I was so pulled to drawing elephants. Plus, it seemed that everywhere I looked or went, elephants were visiting me in some form.

But as I went out to the desert last week to pray and collect my thoughts, I asked for guidance and only a few moments later two horses came running by. Of course, they had riders on them, but it was their incredible strength that moved me--and their grace.

Also, I've just jumped right into working with watercolors and I'm not having the same issues like I did in the last sketchbook. I'm not experiencing the same resistance to the paint on the paper like I did. So that's been a lot of fun to play with.

But best of all, I just am in total love with keeping a daily sketching practice. I love the challenge of strengthening my drawing skills and sharpening my eye, yes. But it's helping me see how much I have to be grateful for in this life even more.

Not by how much or what stuff I have.

But by really taking a look at what I do have--and how it all supports me and my family and creates a home--a little sanctuary to replenish ourselves in.

This is truly a blessing.

Life is truly a blessing and I am so honored to share little glimpses of my life with you. To show my appreciation I will be sharing a totally FREE online workshop for you tomorrow here on Dirty Footprints Studio!

This Is Us, This Is Morning

2013-04-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

What I Used In The Ol' Sketchbook

2013-04-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much to everyone that offered such a warm response to my sharing of my latest Moleskine sketchbook. I am so very touched by all the sweet comments.

Plus, I also received a lot of emails from people asking me about the materials I used in my sketches. So I thought I'd share today just exactly what materials I was experimenting and playing around with!

That I feel is the big key--to experiment and play!

For a few of my sketches done at the beginning of my sketchbook I simply used a black colored Bic pen. I don't know why--other than that's what I had on hand and was just eager to get started.

The Bic pen actually works great--especially for lightly sketching at first and for dropping in some grey tones.

My elephant sketches were all done with an EnerGel pen made by Pentel that had purple ink. I purchased these at Office Max originally for writing in my journal--and found they were pretty fun to sketch with as well.

But, I will warn you--they are not waterproof. While I was in Costa Rica my sketchbook got hit by a wave and some of the water seeped in and damaged part of my sketch.

Oh well!

In my Costa Rica sketches I used a black colored Signo pen made by Uni-ball. Once again another pen I had purchased originally for writing in my journal, but I really love sketching with it as well. As you can see--you can get some dark darks and some grey tones as well if you put a little less pressure on your touch.

What I enjoy sketching with the most are my Pittt artist pens made by Faber-Castell. They come in different size tips--but I prefer S, F, & M. They are also water proof as you'll see further below.

And in my sketch above I even pulled out the Pitt Pens in gray tones--that was fun and something I want to play around with more!

In my sketchbook I also experimented with some wet materials as well. First I played with watercolors using a set made by Jack Richeson & Co. I was kind of disappointed with using them--something about the finish on the Moleskine paper seems to resist them a bit. But oddly enough, in my new Moleskine sketchbook I've been playing with these watercolors again and not having the same problems. (I'll show you what I've been up to later this week!)

Maybe it was me. Maybe it was a funky book.

We may never know!!!

So, because I was feeling a bit frustrated with the watercolors--I decided to give gouache a try. There's a few sketches in my sketchbook where I use gouache made by Savoir Faire. They were a bit more juicy, but still presenting me with the same issues in resisting the paper.

Overall, I simply just love sketching and look forward to trying out different materials even some more!

Inspired By 21 SECRETS!

2013-04-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Journal spread by Eliza Trojanowska--inspired by Carissa Paige's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal spread by Jeanette House--inspired by Hali Karla's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal spread by Wendy Burgess--inspired by Tammy Garcia's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal cover by Carolyn Coyle--inspired by Rae Missigman's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal spread by Marci Glenn--inspired by Cathy Bluteau's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal spread by Amanda Knapp Melkowits--inspired by Danielle Daniel's 21 SECRETS workshop.

Journal spread by Lucie Cotting--inspired by Cathy Bluteau's 21 SECRETS workshop.

There is so much exciting art journaling happening in this year's 21 SECRETS!! Above is a peek at some of the student work being inspired by this amazing line-up of teachers!!

21 SECRETS is a self-guided experience--you have full access to all 21 workshops--you pick and choose the order and pace!!

So it is not too late to join us!

Come on over HERE to register and learn more!

The Vulnerability & Healing Of Sharing Art

2013-04-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

It was my second year of art school and we had to complete a large self portrait drawing.
I was going through a difficult time personally.
And well, I remember spending the whole night before it was due frantically throwing it together with a bottle of wine.
Charcoal. Kneaded Eraser. White paper. Cabernet. Rinse and repeat.
The next day in class I tacked my drawing up on the board along with everyone else and sat back and waited for my turn in critique.
To my great surprise nobody mentioned how rushed or unfinished it looked. Instead they picked it apart--highlighting things not even I was aware of.
Like how troubled I was feeling. How isolated and depressed the drawing felt. How it looked like I was simply holding on by a thread.
They saw this. They mentioned this.
And I sat there crying--feeling so extremely exposed with nowhere to hide.
But I think, to be honest with you, that experience was the conception of FEARLESS painting... it showed me how powerful art truly is as an expression of my inner landscape--as a reflection of my Soul. I had no intention of pouring my pain into that assignment, but effortlessly, it still oozed out with each mark I made.
Though through the years, as vulnerable and raw as sharing my art can leave me feeling--I still find it a necessary and powerful part of my own creative process. There's something very healing about releasing my art into the world and letting others experience it for themselves. I'm not saying that it's always easy--but it is always beneficial to my heart, and I hope in some way to other hearts as well. With that said, I wanted to share with you how excited I am that I just finished my first Moleskine sketchbook. Over the past few months I've been sketching almost daily and exploring different materials as well.
Working in my sketchbook is different than when I art journal. The work in my sketchbook has been focused on strengthening my drawing skills and most especially in sharpening how I look at the world around me. (If you're curious, I've been writing about my experience in the blog posts HERE.) When I art journal it's about being FEARLESS and simply allowing things to reveal themselves organically. For certain art journaling is all about the process--while sketching has really been about the product. And just like my self portrait in art school, it doesn't matter if the intention is on process or product--it's all expression of my true self in one way or another.
When I started this Moleskine sketchbook on my birthday, December 28, 2012, Hansel was in the hospital. As I finished this Moleskine sketchbook, he is in the hospital once again. This sketchbook has accompanied me during one of the most challenging and even painful times of my life so far. It's been hard for me to write about it--maybe because I'm in the smack dabb middle of it all, but sharing this sketchbook feels like I'm giving you a glimpse. Here it is. Here is my first flip video.

Life Visually

2013-04-08T09:58:00.000-07:00

That breakfast sketch was inspired by this video:

Sometimes life is better expressed visually.

BYOBrushes

2013-04-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

Live video from your Android device on Ustream

I deeply apologize, but due to a family emergency,
BYOBrushes has been cancelled.

Start NOW!

2013-04-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

This is Taschie at my last Total Alignment!

She is a friend. A FEARLESS Painter. An incredible Mama. And a woman that started sharing her passion for Art with others...created a small documentary about it...and changed lives.

She stopped waiting. Stopped making excuses.

She started.

Check out her video below.

You can check out Taschie's blog HERE.

It's never too late to share what is in your heart.

Start small. Start easy. Start now!

The world needs what is in your heart!! Let it out!

Congratulations!!

2013-03-31T22:08:00.001-07:00

Thank you to each beautiful Soul that entered to win a free membership to 21 SECRETS. I was so touched and energized by all the beautiful beginnings that were clearly stated with such intention. Please know that tonight I hold each of you in my heart and in my prayers. Unfortunately, I can only award three winners that were randomly chosen.

A big, warm congratulations to the following three Artists:

Thank you again to every one that entered!! I hope to see many of you at 21 SECRETS this year! Go HERE to register!

How Drawing Is Changing Everything

2013-03-31T05:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my latest 15 minutes sketches in the ol' Moleskine.

There is something really transformative happening with this practice. Really healing.

And believe me, I don't say those words lightly.

It's not just about the practice of sketching everyday--but rather the intention to sticking with a subject matter that's present--that's part of my daily life.

You see, 2013 has always been the year that we were suppose to move to Costa Rica. But since Hansel's health plummeted so terribly at the end of last year, we decided it was best to stay another year here in the States so that Hansel could focus on healing with a great team of doctors.

I support Hansel full heartedly, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that a part of me was very sad about this decision. When we left Costa Rica in February after a long visit, my heart especially sank.

But like I said, something is happening to me because of this sketching practice. A softening if you may. A deeper understanding.

Ask my mother, I've always been wildly independent. I do what I want--when I want to--and that's just how I am. Hence why I never ever did well working for other people.

But when you become a mother all of that goes out the door--then add a sick husband you need to support and help care for on top of it, and all of a sudden that wild independence is brought to light to be examined.

Now-a-days I can't do exactly what I want, when I want--I have the well being of loved ones to consider and hold dearly.

This has really been a place of extreme growth for me--and this daily sketching practice is guiding me to see how beautiful and incredible my life really is right here, right now. Even on those more difficult days, and believe me--there's quite a few of those.

My sketching practice not only slows me down to really look at the things around me--but it is helping me see how important it is to actually slow down.

It is teaching me to be present better than any meditation class or yoga teacher training has even done. It is revealing to me the magic that exists in my day-to-day life....like noticing a delicate, beautiful tree growing in the middle of a mall parking lot. Or how exciting the lines and shapes of the truck in front of me in the pharmacy drive-thru are! It is helping me stop what I'm doing and capture intimately the angelic face of my precious Phoenix napping.

These little things make up my life, and for the first real time--I am learning that these little things are more incredible and fulfilling than chasing any dream has ever been. So much so, that in this short time of being dedicated to this practice I've made a few big gestures with an intention to reclaim my time and using it to further this practice.

I've deleted Facebook off my phone. I've majorly chopped the time I spend on Instagram. And with the demise of Google Reader, I've switched to Blog Lovin and decided to follow only five blogs that I absolutely love.

It's not that I feel at all that there's something wrong with the online world and social media--it's just that my relationship to it has been quite numbing and mindless. I waste so much time just scrolling and reading with out direction--when I could be using that time to strengthen my drawing skills and dive deeper into something that actually nourishes my Soul.

The beauty of trimming my online connection is that when I do come to the computer it has been with greater focus to be mindful and intentional about why I am choosing to be on the computer. Before I was just showing up habitually and letting the tides of social media take me where-ever--and for however long. Not healthy.

So basically, that's it. That's how a tiny 15 minute drawing a day can change everything.

I highly recommend it.

I'll be hosting another BYOBrushes--free online FEARLESS Painting event this Friday, April 5 at 10am PST to 11:30am PST (1pm EST to 2:30pm EST).

You can join me here on Dirty Footprints Studio

or over at my BYOBrushes Ustream channel!!

Hope to see you then! And don't forget to BYOBrushes!

Celebrating Spring!

2013-03-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

Spring has totally sprung here in the desert!! I absolutely love this time of year here--it feels great, it smells great, and my spirit truly begins to feel anew.

So, with all this warm excitement I feel like sharing it!!

First, I want to joyfully invite you to join me for another BYOBrushes live FEARLESS Painting event!!! My Spring BYOBrushes is scheduled for:

Friday, April 5, 2013

10:00 AM PST to 11:30 AM PST

(1:00 PM EST to 2:30 PM EST)

BYOBrushes is totally FREE!!

All you need to do is join me here on Dirty Footprints Studio or at my Ustream channel HERE while I FEARLESS paint in my studio!! You are encouraged to paint along as well--and of course I'll stop from time to time to chat and hang out too!

I hope to see you there!

Second, have you heard that 21 SECRETS opens on Monday, April st?!? And I'm so excited that I want to spread a little Spring LOVE by giving away a free memberships to 21 SECRETS to three lucky people!!

Yep!! THREE!

~~All you need to do to enter to win is leave a comment in this blog post sharing what you wish to start anew this Spring!!~~

ENTRY INTO THE GIVE-AWAY IS NOW CLOSED.

I will announce my winner Sunday evening!

Happy Spring everyone!!!

My Daily Sketchbook

2013-03-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

Back in my teens and twenties I sketched in my sketchbook religiously. I don't think there was a day that went by that I didn't sketch something--be it ideas for a painting or most importantly just something from my daily life.

This past month I totally revived my old passion and have started a daily sketching practice again.

My intention is to strengthen my drawing skills, but even more than that to intimately document the world that I live in.

By taking the time to sketch something, you are actually taking the time to really look at something. By sketching you begin to notice the ways that the object relates to everything else in it's environment and you can also discover it's greater details and subtleties too. For example, the things that I remember most about my recent visit to Costa Rica were embossed into my memory by the time I spent sketching them.

To keep my sketching fresh and FEARLESS--I purposely use a pen and not a pencil. This way I can't erase--I can't try to fix things and get it perfect. Instead my sketching is more of a direct dialogue between me and what I'm sketching. It doesn't have to be perfect or look ultra realistic--that's not my aim.

What has also been rocket fuel to my renewed sketching practice is the book An Illustrated Journey by Danny Gregory. I just received it last week and I've been devouring it every free second I get! It's full of juicy travel sketches from a variety of Artists! It's been so inspiring to have a peek into other Artists' sketchbooks--and I've also been fully enjoying listening to the interviews the author has been doing with the Artists over on his blog too!

I dare you to pick up a pen and try sketching yourself! The best part is that the more you practice--the better you get!

Thank You Phoenix

2013-03-21T07:18:00.003-07:00

In just a few days he'll be 11 months already.

He's cruising along the wall and pushes his bottom lip out when he gets upset.

He's tangled himself around my insides--he's taken over every fiber of my heart.

He's making me into a better person with his clever little smile.

He has stayed true to his name and set my whole world on fire.

But like when flame is purposely ignited in the desert, he's only helping to burn away the debris which once cluttered my Soul.

You see, I never knew love could feel this way. And I never knew life could sometimes be so hard.

Underneath the ash is fear I've never attended to, even twigs of anger and insecurity.

If it wasn't for him, I think I might have just left them there.
Hoping they would rot and decay.

But how would I have learned the purpose of kindness.

The importance of compassion.

And how it all truly begins
When we willingly excavate the darker parts.
When we discover love grows wild
In the shadows of our own hearts.

Thank you Phoenix.

Thank you for blessing me with so much.

I'm eternally grateful,
To be anointed
As your Mom.