Dirty Jobs: Mike Rowe Answers

Luck + Capability + Persistence = The Equation for Mike’s Success?

2009-07-15T12:10:17-04:00

Mike,
How much of your success, in your opinion, is based on talent and how much is based on ability?
Allison -- ajsgrant

In my dictionary, each of these words is used as a synonym for the other, so I'm not quite sure how to answer.

I've always viewed talent as more of a "gift", and "ability" more of a skill that one learns and cultivates from scratch. (Mozart playing the piano at 4 = talent. Me, learning to play Happy Birthday after two years of study = Ability, and not much of it.)

Given that distinction, I'd say I'm more "able" than "talented", but we're on the head of a pin here, because success in television requires very little of either.

Truth is, I'm lucky, persistent, mildly capable, patient, and moderately ambitious. If you're in the television business, and possess those qualities - especially luck - you are qualified for success.

Mike

Speaking Your Mind Often Conflicts With Being A Good “Guest/Host”

2009-07-08T11:23:51-04:00

Mike I’ve watched every job you've done and heard what you thought about the job. My question is.... have you ever been afraid to speak your mind on the job or do you tell the workers what they want to hear? alew520

Afraid? No. Cautious, yes. For the most part, I try to tell the truth. Consequently, I can say that "speaking my mind" and telling a worker "what he wants to hear" are not always mutually exclusive.

It can be tricky though. As a "guest," it's important to be deferential, to a point anyway. As a "host," it's important keep things moving forward. For the most part, I try to say the things I would say out loud if I were watching at home with friends. Those are the comments that I think most viewers find relatable. Sometimes though, those kinds of comments might conflict with "good guest/host" behavior.

For instance you'll see me say something like "this is a stupid job." On paper, that looks rude. On video, it's delivered with a smile, and will hopefully be taken as the good-natured observation it was meant to be. We'll see.

The fact is, my first obligation is to the viewer, and sharing a genuine point of view is my ultimate responsibility. Every now and then though, it's bound to pi$$ somebody off.

Mike

Bigfoot & Things That Go Bump In The Night!

2009-07-01T11:33:24-04:00

I know that you have said that you do not believe in anything supernatural, UFO's Bigfoot, the Boogey Man, etc. If you did come face to face with a Bigfoot, how do you think you might react? And, second part, would you tell anyone what you saw? -- clump

If I came face to face with a Bigfoot, I would bolt toward him with extreme prejudice, screaming loudly, doing my level best to tackle and throw him to the ground. I would then go about the process of attempting to remove the creature’s head, secure in the knowledge that I was wrestling with a regular mortal man inside a Bigfoot Suit. Having removed his costume head, I would then insist on pictures, along with a signed admission and videotaped confession by the perpetrator of his intent to defraud the general populace of their time and/or money by advancing another weird fiction. Then, armed with such irrefutable evidence, I would corner my dear friend Simon, who still believes that crop circles were created by aliens, and show him yet another example of mans endless capacity for mendacity and fraud. It would be of course, a total waste of time, as Simon has built his entire belief structure around a world with ESP, alien abduction, haunted houses, astral projection, and reincarnation, and is now so hopelessly enamored of things that go bump in the night I fear there is no hope left for him.

Mike

Mike’s Dad ~ Viewing His Son’s Success With A Mix Of Amusement, Confusion & A Whole Lot of Pride

2009-06-17T16:15:14-04:00

Mike,

After seeing the episode (Baseball Groundskeeper) from the Bowie Baysox Game and finding out your parents were there, I couldn’t help but wonder their thoughts on your affect on viewers, particularly the young impressionable ones like myself.
Also what was the TV rules in the Rowe house while growing up and what did YOU watch as the years went by. Was there anything that everyone watched and was there any programming that influenced you? -- spock

My parents are largely baffled by the reaction of fans. Neither one is a shrinking violet, but both come from another generation and a more reserved background, and would never think of approaching a "personality" for an autograph or picture.

My father is still appalled that Discovery actually gave me my own show, and is still trying to process the very notion that strangers might go out of their way to watch it. At the game, Dad was confronted with the reality that such people not only watch, but might also appear in person, for the specific purpose of meeting his son. It is simply too much for him to digest. He sat there in the stands with my Mom, listening to hundreds of grown men and women say nice things about me, and watched as fans of the show shook my hand and said thanks. "Who was that guy?" he would then ask me, or, "Where do you know her from?" On some level, he still believes the only people who watch the show are old friends and acquaintances. He views the whole thing with an amusing mix of pride, confusion, and suspicion.

The kids however, were a bigger surprise. There were hundreds at the game, all big fans of the show, and all determined to get a photo/autograph. They made signs and shirts. Some showed up with dirty faces, on purpose. Really, it was pandemonium. After seeing the disappointment on an 8-year olds face, who had tried but failed to get my attention, my Mother - God love her - walked over to me, interrupting a shot, and pointed out to me the potential long term damage of smashing the hopes of a young boy with a simple dream. Mothers are like that. Anyway, lots of people lingered after the game, and after the last roster was signed, it was after midnight.

My parents had fun, and I did too, surreal is a good description. To have all this unfold in one's hometown is especially weird. I don't know about "full circle," but going home always has a sense of comfort and displacement that makes me think T. Wolfe might have had it right. Still, it's always fun to visit.

As for TV growing up, there wasn't much of it. My Dad would happily turn the TV off in the middle of a show if he deemed it was time for bed. Or, if there was a book or story he thought was more interesting than whatever my brothers and I were watching, he would stand in front of the TV and begin reading to us - a habit he has yet to abandon. The shows I think influenced me most were Mary Tyler Moore, The Carol Burnett Show, Laugh-In, and The Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson.

Mike

Is There ‘Real’ in Reality TV? Is Mike a Dirt Documentarian?

2009-06-10T12:20:55-04:00

What is the line that divides these two? Are there any contrivances related to one more than the other? To me Non-Fiction describes best that which is not scripted. It mirrors the genre of Non-Fiction literature showing a glimpse of someone’s real-life experience. May even have a more educational aspect to it.

Reality Television is a very misused term. Shows like "Survivor" or "The Amazing Race" are all contrived to be a slightly scripted plays using non-professionals. Most reality shows eventually come across as cruel to the participants. Some are more game show like than others. Shows like "The Real World" just keeps pushing the buttons the producers know are there until someone cracks and voila, instant drama by way of the barely hidden neurosis they made sure was there. -- bluechild

The reason that so much television ultimately disappoints - in my opinion - has less to do with actual content, and more to do with expectations and inconsistent claims. Being offended by the content in South Park for instance, is a very different matter than being offended by misinformation on CNN. (For the record I am not offended by either one.) And being confused that Dog the Bounty Hunter airs on a network called Arts & Entertainment is perfectly understandable. (For the record, that does confuse me.)

ALL shows make some sort of claim. When that promise or claim conflicts with the actual content delivered, expectations are not met, and people get turned off. (How annoying is it when a sitcom takes a "very special" serious turn. And how many people gripe when Dirty Jobs isn't "dirty" enough?) This happens all the time in every genre, but never more than right now.

Survivor is often referred to as a reality show. It isn't. Neither is The Amazing Race, or The Apprentice, or The Bachelor. These are game shows, complete with contests and prizes. Watching them in that mindset won't make them any better or worse - but it might change your expectation of what's really going on. The label is not only misleading - it's the complete opposite, game vs. real. The blurring is intentional, and we accept the change with barely a second thought. Kind of incredible, when you think about it.

The Real World is a "reality" program, but only in so much as the category exists in the first place. (Can anything that undergoes an editing process be "real"? Of course not.) All content, regardless of motive, becomes forever biased the moment an editor trims for length.

For my money, accepting anything on television as "real" just because someone claims it to be so, is no different than going to a magic show and believing everything you see because the magician said it was "magic." Why is it that we expect more from television programs and personalities than we do a very good magician, or a very good illusion? Why are our expectations so high, when the medium gives us so many reasons to distrust it out of hand?

Non-fiction is another interesting turn-of-phrase. So is "documentary." Like "reality," these labels suggest in many people's mind a certain commitment to accuracy. But what does that mean without context? Non-fiction programs often apply to an individual’s point-of-view or personal belief. As do docs.

Last year, twice as many people died from Ostriches as Sharks. And yet, most people believe Sharks are more dangerous than Ostriches. Ocean of Fear was a true story. But did showing that "truth" ultimately perpetuate a misconception about sharks? If so, does that make Shark Week less non-fictional and more Reality? More Documentary? Beats me. I'm just waiting for Ostrich Week.

In general, I think it's wise to look at all the invented categories that claim to be something other than pure, unadulterated entertainment, and think about what you're being asked to accept. It seems to me that terms like Documentary, Non-fiction, Reality, and most of all, News - are all labels designed to encourage you to equate a finished product with "The Truth." Credibility after all, is terribly important to producers, talent, advertisers, and networks. In my business, credibility is currency. And yet, if "The Truth," could exist consistently on television, wouldn't somebody claim that category their own and start programming for it?

Mike

You Lookin’ At Me? ~ The Art of Obviously Not Being Obvious

2009-06-03T10:38:32-04:00

Hi Mike,

I went to a local vendor the other day and one of the ladies there says to me, "you know, we're always busy when you come by. You seem to attract other people here when you come."

I was flattered she felt that way, and then started to think about it. And I've noticed that some times, when I go some place that I'm the only one there, then, I'll turn around, and the place is packed! It's almost as if I've "drawn" these other people there.

Mike, do you ever find that this happens to you? That you'll be the only one in a store, meander a bit, and suddenly there are several others there with you?

I'm just curious. -- shobelle

Before I worked in television, I was often stopped by people who thought they knew me from this place or that. Apparently, I have "one of those faces." Now, it's a completely different story.

Walking through an airport is always interesting. Because most people already feel a little displaced when traveling, things are out of context, and they are more prone to be befuddled when they see someone they recognize. (Unless you’re a professional watcher.) The reactions are fun to watch. On an average walk, from security to the gate, I would say I'm "visibly noticed" every few seconds, at one level or another. I would guess that maybe half of those who recognize me know me specifically by name. I can say this with certainty because they often shout my name, usually frightening those around them. Others are simply dumbfounded, and tortured to varying degrees by their inability to place me. From time to time, I'll stop quickly and turn around. Invariably, two or three people will be caught looking, pointing, or scratching their heads. It's fun.

(One interesting thing I’ve noticed is the mistaken belief that people don’t think I notice them noticing me. Like many others, I’m a watcher, and a big fan of human behavior. I miss a lot, but I notice plenty, and I’m continually surprised at how often people think they’re being subtle when they are anything but. It’s made me wonder if I’m more obvious than I thought…)

In airports, I walk fast, and look straight ahead. I don't avoid encounters, but find that stopping in a public place to chat or sign an autograph can create a small scene, and that can get a little awkward, especially when people are running for a flight. The main problem for me in situations like that is to avoid seeming standoffish, which is hard to do when you're being standoffish. Sometimes, I'll pretend to talk on the phone, but you'd be surprised how often that doesn't work, and how silly it makes you feel. ("Yeah Frank, go ahead and sell that stock, and be sure to ask Jack to check on that thing in Dallas…you bet…uh huh…right…Ok then, let’s do that…)

A far different dynamic is on the plane itself. Like an elevator, or any confined space, the rules are different on a plane. Most people are more hesitant to say anything because they realize that I am essentially trapped. So they smile, or nod, or speak in hushed tones as they walk by. Some however, are immune to the rules of confined space, and act no differently than they would in a park or mall or baseball stadium. I’ve seen people literally stop in the aisles to discuss with me the details of a particular job, while dozens of passengers are held up trying to board. That makes me feel bad for the other passengers. Encouraging the conversation makes the situation worse. Cutting it short makes me look arrogant. What can you do? Last month, on a flight to Texas, a woman literally woke me up to ask if snake bites really hurt.

Most people, I'm glad to say, find me approachable, and talk to me as if I am the same guy they see on the show, which of course I am, for better and worse. This is ultimately gratifying, and well worth whatever small inconveniences come from having a certain notoriety. It's part of the bargain, and not worth complaining about.

Mike

Pink Floyd, A Severed Head & A Receipt – What Does This Have To Do With 6 Years Of College?

2009-05-27T11:12:50-04:00

Mike
You don't seem to have an ounce of pretentiousness in you. I'm curious how someone like you with 6 years of schooling came to appreciate and respect the people that do the less glamorous jobs. Were you knocked out of your ivory tower, or did your parents chain you to the ground and raise you to appreciate everyone's struggle?

Seems like a simple point these days, but it's shocking how many people still think that schooling has anything to do with wisdom, knowledge or value to society.
What's your opinion? -- Meech

Hi Meech,

My opinion is that, in general, a college experience will make you a much richer person. A college degree however, will not. As you suggest, the pursuit of knowledge is very different than the pursuit of accomplishment, and a degree can only speak to the latter.

We tell our kids that a college degree will elevate them above others. It won’t. We tell ourselves that a degree makes us more credible than we were before receiving it. It doesn't. A sheepskin has no more significance than that which you assign to it, and probably a good deal less. Degrees are trophies, to be hung on the wall and admired, usually by the one who received it. Like the head of a dead deer, they stare back at us from above the mantle, leaving others to wonder about the rest of the animal. Fancy papers and severed heads tell us nothing of real life or real understanding - only about money and ego.

I missed my graduation in favor of a Pink Floyd concert at Madison Square Garden. My actual degree was sent to my parent’s house, and opened by my Dad. I remember the message he left me. "Hey Mike, you got something from the University. It looks like a receipt..."

Mike

Being Double Dirty Gets A Lot of Double Takes!

2009-05-20T12:03:31-04:00

Mike, I know the program is called Dirty Jobs. But boy there are times when that is an understatement. You guys must get the oddest looks when you come back to your hotel. Right? I mean, most of the time that is not the kind of stuff you can merely shake or knock off with a spray from someone's garden hose. There has got to be a lot of strange funny stories about you and your crew's effect on passersby. At times you become almost unrecognizable. Completely immersing yourself in your quests' jobs. I'm sure to their appreciation. It is to the audience's too. – gayle

Gayle,

There have been many double takes thrown my way by more than a few strangers. My favorite occurred in a hotel somewhere in Missouri. I had just returned from my day at Struemph Charcoal, and I looked like a hybrid version of PigPen and Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer. I was black with charcoal dust from top to bottom, and clouds of soot billowed around me with every step.

On the way to my room, I passed the maid station. The door was open, and two women were folding sheets in front of several washers and dryers. The conversation went like this.

Me: Evening ladies.

Maid #1: Lord have mercy!

Maid #2: Aaagghhh!

Me: Don’t be alarmed madam. I’m harmless. But I wonder if I might get an extra towel or two?

Maid #2: (clutching chest) Aaagghhh!

Maid #1: Child, you’ll be needing more than towels. You’ll be needing some sort a miracle! What’s you been into?

Me: Bad things, ma’am. Very bad things.

Maid: #1 (peering closer) Seriously child…you get stuck in a chimney? What’s all over you?

Me: Nothing that won’t come off with some hot soap and water. I hope. About those towels?

Maid #2: (peering closer, still clutching bosom) My Lawd. What you look like under all that dirt?

Me: Nothin’ special, ma’am. In fact, I’m starting to forget. And if I don’t get to the shower soon, it’s liable to become permanent.

Maid #1: (handing me a stack of towels) Well now, that might not be so bad…

Maid #2: (laughing) Yes, my goodness. You look fine in black. Gave me a start at first, but it’s growin’ on me.

Me: (backing away) Yes, well…I’m an acquired taste.

Maid #1: You don’t want a shower child. You want a bath…a long, hot soak...

Maid #2: You need help washin’ your back?

Maid #1: You in room 217, right?

Me: Aaagghhh!

Maids (laughing, high fiveing)

Mike

Mike ~ The Human Guinea Pig!

2009-05-13T12:09:19-04:00

Doomed to Fail but Gaining an Appreciation for the Job

Maybe it’s just me Mike but don’t you think you stick out like a sore thumb around real working Americans? Do you think you take an unprofessional approach in presenting America's "dirty jobs"? Remember you're a host and not a stand up comedian. - Edhill

Hi Ed,

Thanks for your comments, and no, it's not just you. I've been annoying viewers for years in one way or another, usually bureaucrats and people in positions of upper management.

As for sticking out like a sore thumb among real working Americans, you are correct again. I am both under-qualified and untrained to do these jobs. That should be readily apparent.

Regarding my professionalism, I would prefer "non" vs, "un." But either way, I take your point, and happily concede that you are correct. I could be much more reverential and earnest with the people I meet, and I could easily talk in glowing terms about their tireless contribution to polite society. Maybe I should. In truth, I find myself in awe of the men and women I meet on this gig, and I am tempted to sing their praises in the fashion you describe.

But frankly, those kinds of professional "tributes" always strike me as a little too precious. (The dramatic music, the voice-of-god-narrator, the ever-respectful host, the quiet dignity of the "American Worker.") Besides, it's all been done. In my opinion, the best way to honor people with difficult jobs is to send in an untrained human guinea pig, and watch him try to keep up. Naturally, the guinea pig is doomed to fail, and in that failing, I hope the viewer will gain an appreciation for the difficulty of the job at hand and the person actually doing it.

As for my personality and point of view, what can I say? Opinions vary. I treat the camera as if it were a good friend, and feel comfortable saying out loud any fool thing that pops into my head. If I had my druthers, you would find me charming and fun to watch, but the truth is, it's not terribly important that you like me. What's important is that you like the people I meet.

Having said all that, I value your comments, with the exception of the last sentence. A more accurate admonishment would have read, "Remember, you are not a host, OR a standup comedian."

Thanks,
Mike

Safety First Or Just In The Top Three?

2009-05-06T12:28:14-04:00

Assuming Risk & Being Responsible for One's Own Safety

My husband works on the oilrigs as a well tester. We watched you folks do so without any eye protection! Are you crazy? Drilling a hole with no protective eyewear? Between him, a well tester, and me, a workers' compensation lawyer, we're cringing! Somebody could LOSE AN EYE! Seriously - Safety First, fellas! -- suzemommy

I sincerely appreciate your concern for me, and agree that stupidity plays an ongoing role in my professional and personal life. But believe me, I have no wish to be injured on the job.

However, it is not the objective of Dirty Jobs to conform to any particular set of safety standards, other than those dictated by the people for whom I happen to be working at the time. I take my cues from them, and I assume whatever risk they assume, for the most part. In the end, we hope to capture an honest look at what life is like for the workers in a particular venue. We do not aspire to set an example, or be a poster child for OSHA or any particular industry. I realize that my sound controversial, but it’s the truth, and not nearly as inflammatory as what I’m going to say next.

Ready?

Of all the platitudes automatically embraced in the workplace - and there are many - there is none more pervasive, erroneous, overused, and dangerous, than "Safety First!" in my opinion.

I have heard this slogan countless times. I have seen it emblazoned on banners, T-shirts and hats. I have sat through mandatory briefings and slideshows and presentations designed to "protect me from the hazards at hand." And I have listened as safety officers and foreman have run down list after list of OSHA requirements, all apparently construed to remind me that nothing is more important to the employer than my own well-being. What a load of unmitigated nonsense.

In the jobs I have seen thus far, I can tell you with certainty, that safety, while always a major consideration, is never the priority.

Never.
Never, ever.
Not even once.

Is it important? Of course. But is it more important than getting the job done? No. Not even close. Making money is more important than safety - always - and it's very dangerous in my opinion to ignore that. When we start to believe that someone else is more concerned about our own safety than we are, we become complacent, and then, we get careless. When a business tells you that they are more concerned with your safety than anything else, beware. They are not being honest. They are hedging their own bets, and following the advice of lawyers hired to protect them from lawsuits arising from accidents.

You are correct to suggest that wearing safety glasses would have made the task at hand safer. But why stop there? Wearing a helmet would have made it safer still. And wearing a steel mesh shark-suit would have made it really, super safe.

I know that sounds glib, and I know that many will wish to scold me for appearing cavalier. But really, I'm not. In a car, I wear a safety belt. On a motorcycle, I wear a helmet. Not because it’s the law, but because it seems a reasonable precaution. And ultimately, the only one responsible for my own safety is me. (Besides, if the government were really concerned with my safety above all else, wouldn’t they drop the legal speed limit to 30 miles an hour and make cars out of rubber?)

Again, you’re right - I probably should have been wearing safety glasses, not because safety is first, but because I like to hedge my bets.

We can always be safer. We can always assume less risk. But if safety were really first, I wouldn’t travel at all, or engage in any activity that required me to assume any risk. And I certainly wouldn’t be hosting Dirty Jobs.

Mike

Keeping Time While Getting Dirty

2009-04-29T12:28:33-04:00

FYI: Do Not Wear An Expensive Watch When Attempting Artificial Insemination!

Mike,

My frivolous question for you is how many watches do you own? Sometimes you wear a watch to a Dirty Job, but usually not. There have been times when your watch is visible in the beginning of an episode, but it has been removed as the day progresses. I have noticed a watch with a black leather band, one with a brown leather strap, another with a stainless steel band as well as the custom-made watch your Sweetie gave you as a Christmas present. Do you prefer the band material to be metal or leather? Is it more comfortable to wear a stretchy band, a buckle or push button foldover clasp? Any useless extra features? Did you wear a dressy watch to the Emmys? With your constant traveling, have you forgotten to set your watch to the correct time zone? Have you lost your watch during a memorable moment on DJ?

In closing, so often we wish time would speed up so we can get home after a long day at work or to make the weekend arrive sooner. At other times, we want the hours, minutes, and seconds to stand still and make special occasions and precious memories last forever. Please enjoy and cherish every day.

Thanks for reading. Karen -- beautifulgreeneyes

"Mike, my frivolous question for you is how many watches do you own?"

Hi Karen,

Dozens. As a vagrant for nearly a decade, a watch was one of the few gifts that I could actually use, enjoy, and store. Friends knew that anything larger would have no place to go. Not much different know.

"Sometimes you wear a watch to a Dirty Job, but usually not. There have been times when your watch is visible in the beginning of an episode, but it has been removed as the day progresses."

True enough. After 200 jobs, you'd think I'd have the sense to remember to take the thing off at the beginning of the day. But I don't. Typically, I realize at some point in the job that I have no business wearing a watch. (FYI, do NOT attempt any form of artificial insemination while wearing a Tag Hauer.) Most often, I remove it in the middle of a shot, and toss it to Dave, who tosses it to Meatwolf, who tosses it to Ira, who eventually gives it back to me.

"I have noticed a watch with a black leather band, one with a brown leather strap, another with a stainless steel band as well as the custom-made watch your Sweetie gave you as a Christmas present."

You are indeed, a most discerning viewer.

"Do you prefer the band material to be metal or leather?"

Leather, easier to adjust. Less likely to remove hair by the root.

"Is it more comfortable to wear a stretchy band, a buckle or push button fold over clasp?

A buckle. Just like a belt. Why mess with a good thing?

"Any useless extra features?"

No. I despise watches that tell me the time in Tokyo and Mumbai. Or calculate my altitude, depth, and current moon phase. No metric converter, thank you. I like an analog dial, with a second hand. No Roman numerals. That civilization ended some time ago. I don't mind a place for the date, as long as it doesn't include the month. (If I don't what month I'm in, knowing the correct time will not help me.)

"Did you wear a dressy watch to the Emmys?"

Yes. And I referred to it with alarming regularity.

"With your constant traveling, have you forgotten to set your watch to the correct time zone?"

Actually, I never reset my watch. It helps me remember that I'm only passing through wherever I am.

"Have you lost your watch during a memorable moment on DJ?"

Not yet.
But it's only a matter of time.

Mike

PS. Answering these questions should no be interpreted as a subtle request for a new watch. Thank you.

Mike Is His Name & Dirt Is His Fame!

2009-04-22T11:41:26-04:00

… Being Himself Is His Only Claim

Mike,

If you search the internet, there's virtually nothing negative about you out there, that speaks volumes - all the anecdotal posting of fans who had chance encounters or people you've worked with in the past are all positives & they mention how down-to-earth you are. The few negative things were from people who never met you.

When I think about it, it boggles my mind how much influence has been given to you. I know that is not fair & you may not even think it's true but that's how it looks to me.

That part of celebrity is unfair & I don't know how you handle it. You seem to, though & the popularity of the show speaks to that.

It's just hard sometimes to keep it all in perspective. How do you do it? -- beach28

There's not a lot of method to the madness you describe. But I have theory. It has to do with claims and expectations, and managing the two together.

In general, I tell anyone who asks that I am not driving the bus. I may be behind the wheel, but my feet don't reach the pedals, and I don't have near the control that I'd like. In truth, none of us do, but I'm always surprised by the number of people in my business who refuse to admit that. People like to tell their story as a plan well executed. It's never that simple.

My entire industry is propped up by agents, managers, producers, and publicists who spend their days fashioning and packaging people into a very specific persona that meets the expectations of their public. Those who actually achieve some notoriety think that's what their fans want, and to a point, they are right. But in their haste to be known, they often accept a false identity, forgetting that the public will not accept a change easily.

People don't like it when Jim Carry takes a serious role. Or when Katie Couric starts reading a prompter like every other newscaster. People don't like to invest time in somebody, and learn that they are not who they said they were. (What ever happened to the "old Eddie Murphy?" Didn't he used to be hysterical?)

If you're going to live with some level of notoriety, you need to put the feedback you receive - positive and negative - into a perspective that leaves you sane. It's a mistake to ignore feedback, but it's also dangerous to try and please the masses. And that's the problem with mass media. Whether you're Jim Carey, Katie Couric, or a guy with his name in the title of a program on basic cable, you need to be make absolutely certain that the identity you portray is one you can actually maintain for a long, long time. Otherwise, they will eat you alive.

Anyway, I've decided to be myself. My past is an open book, and my skeletons are easy to find. I've put myself out there, and made a very public claim that I can maintain with relative ease. It goes like this.

"My name is Mike Rowe, and this is my job. I explore the country, looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty. Hard working men and women who do the kind of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us. Now, get ready to get dirty."

That's it. That's my only claim, and so far, I've managed to deliver. Which is why I still have a touch of perspective.

Mike

The Smells Remain Long After The Memory Fades!

2009-04-15T11:42:02-04:00

~And The Ingredients & Tactility of Handling A Pig.

I watch the show with my grandchildren. I am curious about something. Smells and sights imbed in our memories.... how has this job changed your memory library?
And my grandson wants to know what it was like handling pigs? -- jjsgma

I like to describe things in terms of comparative analysis, and often rely on benchmarks to do so. The nice thing about my experiences is that I have a whole new frame of reference for a variety of situations. For instance, the road kill in Ohio was ridiculously rank, but not nearly as nasty as the fish processing plant in Oregon. And while the sewer in San Francisco was sickening, the pumping station in Madison was positively putrid. The pig were appalling, the bats were abysmal, and the garbage grotesque. These smells will stay with me forever, longer perhaps, than the actual memories themselves.

Lucky me.
Mike

PS Tell your grandson, when he has a moment, to take a large Hefty garbage bag and fill it halfway to the top with jello and yogurt. Fill the rest of the bag with marbles. Mix them all together. Ideally, the bag should weigh between 90 and 100lbs. Now, have him tie the bag shut, very tightly, and rub the outside in Vaseline. Then collect as much dog poo as possible and apply that to the entire surface of the bag. Try not to miss a single spot. The poo should stick to the Vaseline quite easily. Now, have him pick up the bag, and carry it from room to room as quickly as possible. As he attempts to do this, you and your other grandchildren should follow him closely, squealing at the top of your lungs, and kicking him.

It's kind of like that.

The Dangerous Elements of Deadliest Catch Vs The Hazards of Dirty Jobs!

2009-04-08T12:20:46-04:00

Gearing Up For Alaska Week!

Mike,

I don’t know if you've given the thought of doing a Dirty Jobs show on the Deadliest Catch on a crab boat. However, I don’t think that the deckhands would appreciate your ability to hinder someone’s work or just generally slow the whole process down. If there were someone to go out on the boats and explain the "how to crab fish" I would want it to be you. Keep up the good work on Dirty Jobs. -- supermac06

Actually, I've given it a lot of thought.

There is no doubt that a Greenhorn on a crab boat is rough work, and would make for a great segment on Dirty Jobs. But that will probably never happen, because these two shows take very different approaches to very dangerous situations. However, as a participant in both, I can assure you that the experience of gathering the footage for each is remarkably similar. What's done with that footage weeks later is the real story.

More than anything, the differences between DJ and DC illustrate the power of editing and tone, and the influence a particular point of view can have on a pile of raw footage. Many have suggested here that Dirty Jobs minimizes the risk of certain situations, and understates the importance of safety in general. Similarly, Deadliest Catch has been accused of overstating the hazards of working on a crab boat, and exaggerating the element of danger. Interesting.

Consider the segment that aired on DJ that featured the oil drillers in Louisiana. If that exact raw footage had been given to the editors of Deadliest Catch, they could have easily constructed a harrowing 15-minute segment that would convince anyone that drilling for oil is the most dangerous job in the world. Different music, different cuts, different VO, and you would be amazed. Same with shrimper, bat biologist, sewer worker, marble miner, etc.

Likewise, if I spent a day as Greenhorn aboard the Northwestern, baiting pots in rough seas and getting my butt kicked by Captain Sig, the editors at Dirty Jobs could turn that footage into a light-hearted romp full of mad-cap moments and good-natured bonhomie. It really depends on what you're selling. And of course, what you want to watch.

Don't get me wrong. Few things compare with a week on the Bering Sea in January. But in television, the tale is in the telling - not in the content.

Mike

Exposing The Struggles, Obstacles & Adversities Shooting Dirty Jobs!

2009-04-01T11:57:47-04:00

Perhaps It's The Dirtiest Job Of Them All

Mike have you guy's ever had a job that just didn't work out? (Besides the monkey one). Was there ever a job where you just did not get along with the people after getting there? -- GuyP

Good question.

To some degree, all dirty jobs should pose a challenge. There should always be a struggle or an obstacle to overcome, or something that doesn't "work out." In fact, it's fundamental to the show.

My goal has always been to show the viewer every single adversity I encounter, and make it a part of the program. Thus, cranky subjects, broken equipment, unexpected danger, and my own incompetence are all fair game, and integral to the segment. In other words, we try to make a show around the very elements that most producers leave on the edit bay floor. Consequently, the most challenging segments are those that pose no real difficulty. When that happens, we need to find something that's entertaining or interesting, without manufacturing a story beat that doesn't truly exist. In the cheese-making episode for instance, there was no dirt to speak of. However, we found some quirky characters, and wound up with some memorable conversation. Same with candy maker. We played the cards we got. In other words, we try to tell the truth, and let each segment go where it wants to.

Personally, I believe the show needs to evolve further. I think the next step will require us to involve the viewer with the challenges we face on a production level. Because oftentimes, the challenge of getting the story is more interesting than the story itself. Take the railroad segment (Gandy Dancer), on that particular day, the heat was so intense, we lost a camera. Unfortunately, we didn't know this until the tape was viewed after the fact. Consequently, the entire segment was initially deemed unusable. Fortunately, one of our editors was able to cut around the damaged footage, and a workable piece was salvaged. However, a far better story, in my opinion, would have included the "unusable" material, along with an explanation as to why the footage looked the way it did. I should have included the broken camera in the story - because it speaks to the adversity of getting the job done. And, as a viewer, I find it interesting.

Traditionally though, Networks and Producers don't like to call attention to production problems, any more than magicians like to reveal their secrets.

Dirty Jobs however, breaks that mold by focusing not just on the story, but also on the process of getting the story. That is a huge distinction. To your question - that's what the monkey episode was all about, Mission vs. Story. Involving the viewer in the adversity of shooting the segment was the key to making that footage work. Not only did we save the segment, we filled an entire hour. That's an approach that could extend the life of this series immeasurably. That's also what makes it fun, but trust me it's not easy, because presenting the facts, is not the same as presenting the truth.

So far, nothing has proven dirtier than the job of making the show.

Mike

No Time to Break, Flake or Freak Out...Managing Stress On the Road!

2009-03-25T11:47:08-04:00

Mike,

I’m curious, when everything seems like it is crumbling down around you when you are traveling how do you break away and are able to focus on your work?
Thank you. Lindsay -- lfbhas2wk

Lindsay,

Deciding how to manage stress when you're traveling is a bit like deciding what to eat when you're starving - it depends on what's available. Unfortunately, when I'm on the road, there are few options and very little time to break away. So, I don't even try. I focus on the work, and sweep my problems under the rug till I can deal with them privately.

The thing about working on a show with your name in the title is that your time stops being your own. Roughly 20 people make their living working directly on Dirty Jobs production, and the show directly affects many others at the network. That means if I flake out, freak out, or call in sick - the show simply stops, and the money stops flowing for people other than me.

In other words, there is no time or room for stress on the road.

Mike

Created By? Dirty Jobs Born From A Collaborative Effort

2009-03-18T12:00:04-04:00

Mike,

Were you the original thought behind "Dirty Jobs"?

I would imagine that Discovery generated the idea and then began searching for a host. You had so much voice over work and a certain position within the company. Who approached who? Were there any other potential Dirty hosts/hostesses? Where did it all begin? Who walked into work one day with the spark that is now an inferno? -- montanagrizman

Mark Twain, (I think) said, "there's no limit to how far a man can go if he doesn't care who gets the credit."

Well, TV wasn't around back then, but if it had been, I suspect twain might have amended his observation. Something along the lines of this -

"The speed with which those who work in television run from their own failure, is eclipsed only by the speed with which they run towards someone else's success."

Of course, Twain would have said it better. But you would not believe the stories that have come back to me over the last year, regarding the genesis of Dirty Jobs. Some have even appeared in print. In a recent article in one of the trades, I read that I had "been given the opportunity to host this program," because the shows "creator" determined that I was "the right guy for the job." Interesting.

The truth is, "credit" is a terribly important thing in the TV business. And even though they fly by very quickly at the end of the show, make no mistake, industry people care deeply about who did what. Much of it has to do with ego and money of course, but in my business, a lot of future opportunity hinges on what you last accomplished. Remember, hit shows are very, very rare. There's plenty of bad television on the air, but the vast majority of ideas are SO bad, they never even make it to broadcast. A hit show is "lightening in a bottle," and the producer of a hit can begin a career on that one successful credit. As can the network executive who "green lights" a hit show. As can the actor, host, writer, executive-producer, creator, etc.
Of the aforementioned though, no credit is more coveted than "creator," which goes to your question.

Aside from its inherent omniscience, a "Created By" credit is meaningful because it speaks to a deliberate intent to fashion something from nothing. In an industry filled with people who see themselves as "creative," this credit clearly defines who is "the most creative," and by implication, who is not. This gives the title itself a haughty, vainglorious overtone that can easily rankle, if unfairly applied. (Al Gore "created" the Internet, remember?) Consequently, Discovery will not give that particular credit to anyone - even if the evidence is irrefutable, as is the case with Dirty Jobs.

Bottom line, Dirty Jobs is a hit show, and its success is born from a collaborative effort. I'm honored and grateful to be a part of that effort, and truly believe that the future of Dirty Jobs will depend on more collaboration than ever before. But the shows past is another matter, and the facts around its inception are undeniable.

Dirty Jobs was originally called Somebody's Gotta Do It. The show was created by Mike Rowe and James Reid, over a cold beer in dive bar on the San Francisco waterfront in the spring of 2002.

Of those present, the beer probably deserves most of the credit.

Mike

Another Round of Random Rowe Responses

2009-03-04T13:23:03-05:00

1) What sort of qualities do you look for in a woman you date or in women you admire?
Strong, Strong, steady pulse. A healthy appetite. A propensity to laugh at inappropriate times.

2) When you travel, do you find that you get hit on by many of the women you meet?
Yes.

3) Would you say you're flirtatious?
I would not say that.

4) What's your favorite female literary character of all time and why?
Good one. I like Dulcinea, Lady Chatterly, Cora from The Postman Always Rings Twice, Scout Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, Mrs. Danvers from Rebecca, Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair, and Becky Thatcher from Huck Finn. Can't pick one.

5) How would you rate your performance in the bed on a scale from 1-10?
With great bias.

6) Have you ever been "in love"?
Sure.

7) What would you say your weaknesses are?
Subtle self-sabotage, in all areas. A suspicion of anything too easy. Malaise.

8) Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Sausalito.

9) If you could pick any three films that represent American culture, which films would you choose?
Joe Dirty, Dirty Harry, Dirty Dozen.

10) Would you say that you've changed significantly in the past ten years, or as a result of your work on Dirty Jobs?
Yes. The last years have changed me a great deal.

11) Boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs?
Whatever's available.

12) What would you do for a living if you could no longer be in entertainment?
I'd write, though I'd hope that would turn out to be entertaining.

13) What is your favorite soda pop?
Never cared for it.

14) What kind of soap do you use?
Lava.

15) Favorite board game?
Battleship

16) Vacation dream spot?
I don't dream anymore.

17) Favorite animal?
Turtle.

18) Favorite color?
Burnt Umber.

19) If you could be any animal what animal would you be?
A burnt umber tortoise.

20) Age in which you wish to retire?
31

21) Favorite desert/candy/sweets, whatever the heck you call it?
Two homemade Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies, on either side of some homemade Rocky Road Ice Cream.

22) What's the most amount of baths/shower do you take in one day?
Two

23) Brings me to ask do you take showers or bathes?
Yes.

24) What is your favorite word?
Five

25) What was the name of your first pet?
Shim, a great mutt, couldn't tell if it was male or female.

26) Which do you prefer, paper or plastic?
Paper on the inside, plastic on the outside.

27) Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes?
Yes.

28) Diaper service or disposables (there has to be at least one poo related question)?
Depends.

29) Favorite Cartoon?
Tom & Jerry.

30) What is the ultimate sport to watch: football, basketball, baseball or sumo wrestling?
As Hemingway said the only sports are racecar driving, mountain climbing, and bullfighting. All the others are games.

-- Mike

The Slings & Aches of Outrageous Television

2009-02-25T10:52:29-05:00

Hi Mike,

I was thinking today that it is so weird how some small injuries hurt ALOT more than the bigger ones. For example, I recently had a little head injury that sent me to the ER and despite all the fuss over my noggin that injury did not hurt nearly as bad as the paper cut I got a couple days before. I know this is an odd question but I am going to ask anyway. Have you ever had one of those terrible little injuries hurt so bad that it makes the injury that is much more serious look like nothing? -- WhiteAnemone

That's a fact, Katie.

There is however, a fairly long litany of infirmaries and minor injuries. I wont bore you with a list - it's long. Lately though, the shooting schedule has made it impossible for me to conceal the slings and arrows of outrageous television.

Currently, I'm marveling at a blister on the palm of my right hand. I earned it when I picked up a burning hot, iron-tamping bar that had been lying in the Arizona sun for six hours. It sizzled and blistered immediately. Later that day, while swinging an ax for the five hundredth time into the stubborn root of a giant cactus that simply didn't wish to be removed from the rocky ground, the blister exploded. Now, my hand hurts when I open it. And close it. And look at it.

On the positive side, it has completely taken my mind off of my partially dislocated shoulder.

Mike

That's a fact, Katie.

There is however, a fairly long litany of infirmaries and minor injuries. I won't bore you with a list - it's long. Lately though, the shooting schedule has made it impossible for me to conceal the slings and arrows of outrageous television.

Currently, I'm marveling at a blister on the palm of my right hand. I earned it when I picked up a burning hot, iron-tamping bar that had been lying in the Arizona sun for six hours. It sizzled and blistered immediately. Later that day, while swinging an ax for the five hundredth time into the stubborn root of a giant cactus that simply didn't wish to be removed from the rocky ground, the blister exploded. Now, my hand hurts when I open it. And close it. And look at it.

On the positive side, it has completely taken my mind off of my partially dislocated shoulder.

Mike

The Happy Dirty Accident That Resulted In Achieving 200 Dirty Jobs!

2009-02-18T12:10:26-05:00

The first 200 are the hardest...the next will be a dirty breeze! Okay maybe not.

Well My Dear Mike,

200 episodes! Makes me tired just thinking about it!

Building a choo choo train tonight seemed appropriate for the 200th job. Sort of like the undertaking of Dirty Jobs itself. Start with something small, work really hard and wind up with a big impressive machine.

Very pleased on your 200th endeavor you did not fall into the caustic and turn into a puddle of snot. This of course would have made the next 200 very hard to achieve.

Well I would love to have you for 200 more Dirty Jobs. (Did I just hear you let out a blood curdling scream?) Would not blame you a bit but if you did. I will take what I can get and wish you, our Barsky and your amazing crew the best and congratulations on this milestone. Shari -- twintiques

Shari,

Thanks very much for your well wishes and congratulations. I humbly accept them both.

Funny thing about achievement though. Most people assume that when you reach some sort of milestone, it's because you set out to do it. Consequently, we tend to celebrate most accomplishments as if they were the result of a specific goal or master plan. Sometimes, that's the case, as with earning a degree, mastering a trade, or finishing War and Peace. Other achievements though, don't spring from goals. They just sort of happen. Like meeting the right person, or discovering penicillin, or becoming a great, great, grandparent.

A reporter asked me earlier today if it was gratifying to see my long-term vision for this show come to fruition. I was tempted to say yes, because I'm grateful for a whole bunch of things related to Dirty Jobs. But answering the affirmative would have confirmed his assumption that I had been working these last few years on a "long-term vision". And that, as many of you know, is just not true.

It's easy to become so enamored with the notion of "achieving a goal," that we sometimes reengineer the happy coincidences in our life to line up with an objective we never really had. It's particular form of conceit, and I want to avoid it here, especially as it applies to the completion of our 200th job. It's important for me to remind everyone, including me, that Dirty Jobs crawled before it walked, limped before it ran, and fell on its face more than once. Sure, I worked hard to give it a heartbeat, but if you told me at the outset that I'd be spending the next five years on the road, working on 200 different jobs, you would have seen a hole in the nearest wall shaped like Mike Rowe running.

Dirty Jobs happened the only way it could have. It was an accident. A happy accident, but an accident nevertheless. We made it on the air against impossibly long odds, and a set of circumstances to bizarre to believe. It's continued success however, is no great mystery. That's entirely due to the people we highlight on the show, and the people who watch. In other words, you.

That's where the real congratulations belong, and I offer mine now, along with those of my crew, everyone at Pilgrim, and everyone at Discovery.

Thanks, very much.

Mike

Romantic Escapes were good but Dirty Jobs is better?

2009-02-11T12:02:47-05:00

...Catch a glimpse at "romantic" Mike years before the dirt!

Mike,

I have been a fan of yours since you did a show -- I can't remember the name of it, how terrible is that? For the Travel Channel some years back.

What keeps me coming back to your shows is, without question, your sense of humor. Although there is no denying that you have a certain, shall we say physical charm, I really like the twinkle that is always in your eye and the attitude you bring to each job you attempt. You never seem to debase the people you are profiling, yet you always seem to have that "What am I doing here? Whose idea was this?" Look about you. I also admire your fearlessness -- both toward personal safety and getting dirty.

Erin

Dirty Jobs: Early Mike Romantic Escapes

You're referring to Romantic Escapes, a 13 episode series I did for TLC back in 1994. Filming required me to accompany a young, single woman to the most beautiful locations on the planet, and create the illusion of romance. Toward that end, we dined at 5-star restaurants, drank fine wine, slept in opulent suites, and got massages every day. It was unbelievable. Really great.

Dirty Jobs is better.

I view my current gig as karma, (or perhaps penance) for having it so easy early on.

I'm glad that you and so many others see the difference between pointing out the absurdity of a situation, and making fun of the people in that situation. It's an important part of the show, and easy to overlook if your just flicking by.

As for a sense of humor, there is simply no better defense aganst a dirty world.

Thanks.

Mike

Sometimes You're The Windshield & Sometimes You're The Bug!

2009-02-04T11:57:29-05:00

...Find out which one Mike is now!

Mike,

My question to paraphrase, you have been extremely successful in the past at attaching yourself to jobs that had end dates. When that time arrived, you could sit back, pour a drink or two, write and read a bit, relax and allow those creative juices to build back up.

I was thinking earlier that you pretty much have the world by the scruff of its neck. But I was wrong. You used to. Now you are stuck, just like the rest of us. Responsibility is weighing you down. You have people relying upon you, incomes hang in the balance, and a network is courting you dangling more money/responsibility under your nose.

Here you are, doing a show about the value of a hard honest day's work. And you are DOING that day's work. Never mind that you get to travel the globe, you are wined and dined, and you don't have to make your bed in the morning. Ahhh good times, good times. But you are still working yourself into a perverse humor.

There are those saying (I did too, sorry) you need to follow this through, squeeze out every dime, and bask in your success. Money, drinks, little statues, and cigars will come your way. But you have spent how many years cultivating a different work ethic?

You reall don't want to work that hard, do you?

Kathy -- kzang

Like the man said, "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." In my thirties, I was often the former. Now, I am often the later. But the view is still pretty good. Kathy, don't confuse my work ethic with my work schedule. Only one has changed radically.

At base, I still believe that you should try your hardest and do your best at whatever task you undertake. Whether you're splitting logs or sipping Boodles, do it well. I do not believe, that there is anything magical about an 8 hour workday or a 40 hour work week. Those are perimeters designed by people who write the checks, and accepted by those who draw a bright line between work and play. As a rule, I've chosen to avoid such relationships. Calling an activity "work" or "play" is just another label, and usually, a self-fulfilling prophecy. I prefer to smash the two together whenver possible.

As for putting this much time and this much effort into one undertaking, well, you're right. I've never done that before. But then again, I've never worked on a television project that allowed me to be myself. Nor have I aspired to. The fact that it's happening now, has persuaded me to stick around and see how it all ends. For me, that's unusual.

Mike

Flesh, Bone and the Guts to Air an Unforgettable Episode!

2009-01-28T11:31:00-05:00

Not Rendered Speechless by the Animal Rendering Segment.

Wow Mike!

What a great show. I just can't get over it. Would it be politically incorrect to say I actually enjoyed tonight's show? It's been awhile since I have seen awe on your face during one of your dirty jobs. Would "awe" be the appropriate word?

What does it say about me that I found that truly fascinating and exactly what I needed to bring me back to my own reality? I will pause the next time I throw my water bottle in the recycling bin or tighten my belt and give thanks to the hard workingmen and women who taught me the true meaning of the word RECYCLE.

Good Job Mike. -- Kelby

This is the most gratifying and encouragingt thread I've read in a long time. Thanks. You have no idea - or perhaps you do - of the difficulty in getting stories like these on the air. After the lamb castration business, I was really worried that certain people might lose their nerve. The resistance comes from every single direction, and is all perfectly understandable.

It begins with the Rendering Industry itself, who have a rather stern, unspoken agreement to keep the doors shut at all times. Who can blame them? The press is rarely positive, so why take the risk? Likewise, television producers shy away from forcing the issue, because really - who wants to see these images? Networks certainly don't ask for such stories, because advertisers have a hard time sponsoring the process whereby a dead cow is turned into a slow-moving river of goo. And yet, in my humble opinion, these stories must be told. And the people who do the work need to be shown. Especially today, when people measure environmental stewardship by the presence of a green garbage container. Recycling - real recycling - is not about paper and plastic. It's about flesh and bone, blood and guts, and long strands of newly reorganized DNA. It's about a stench that clings to your teeth, and the sight so unforgettable you only need to see it once. But boy oh boy, do we need to see it.

I am so grateful to the guys at North State for having the moxie to let us in with cameras. To Eddie at Pilgrim, for sending out a rough cut that would have made Martin Scorsese throw up in his mouth. To Gena over at the network for sticking by her guns, and of course my crew for sacrificing yet another wardrobe, and finding a way to laugh through another level of Hell. One day, when I am King of the World, I will post the uncut version, complete with my juxtaposed rendition of Auden's Funeral Blues, (which was cut out of the original to avoid a copyright lawsuit.)

I won't really be at peace until all of you see what I saw that day. I'm petty that way. But for now, I am delighted that we were able to go this far. Thank you for watching.

Mike

P.S. On perhaps the most competitive television hour in recent memory, Tuesday's episode rated through the roof. Go figure.

Dirty Jobs - Respectfully Riding The Coat Tails of Hard Work!

2009-01-21T11:34:05-05:00

...Keeping a Simple Message & Showing the Necessary Jobs.

I will be honest in what I’m about to say. Mike your show concept is genius! And I feel safe in saying that you hoped it would become a success. (Which it has) You should have every right to capitalize on your idea. Working a Dirty Job myself, I have no problem seeing you make a decent buck, off the sweat of other peoples backs. Every host/guest you have featured on the show has probably gotten a little stardom themselves. I believe this a good way to “Pay It Forward” to them. By letting them get a little bit of limelight. I wouldn’t have an issue with you making more money than me for a chance for a little limelight. I think it’s a fair trade-off. Would you find this statement I just made as having motives behind it? Or would you see it as me just being excited about being on your show? Coming from a MALES standpoint I'll let you in on something! The only reason you get respect and viewer ship from the male audience is due to the fact you “Pay It Forward”! If you didn’t do this and where just riding the American Workers backs for your own benefit I think the show would have been history in the eyes of the male viewers. So to end on a positive note keep “Paying It Forward”, let these Men and Women you feature enjoy a taste of stardom. And don't see it as not being genuine or playing to the camera. This is a big deal to them and their families. So rest easy my friend, let these few lucky people enjoy a little hometown fame. You will have it for the rest of your life (I know that its a blessing and a curse) But please don't see these folks as fame seekers. They are just excited for the chance you have and are giving them!

Happy to let you ride my Coat Tail. As long as you don't mind me riding yours!
Thanks, John -- sewerpipe

Hey John

Every so often the right post comes along at the right time. Aside from being grateful for what you wrote, I actually needed to hear it. Because truly, the only redemptive thing about Dirty Jobs is the thing you mention.

Sure, I could talk about the value of providing "entertainment for the masses," but really, who am I kidding? Compared to the men and women who hold down real jobs and make an actual contribution to society, the role of TV Host is inconsequential. As is television in general. Dirty Jobs is at base, a very simple show with some very large themes. When things get convoluted, it's important for me to hit the reset button, and focus back on The big theme - real people having a good time doing necessary work - that's what matters. That's what different.

Calling attention to the Big Theme is exactly what I want to do in the coming months. If doing so turns out to be a smart business decision, well, I can live with that. And if it blows up in my face, I can live with that as well. Either way, the message will be clear, simple, and unmistakable. Just like your post.

Thanks,
Mike

The Poo Covered Man...A Sex Symbol?

2009-01-14T11:06:53-05:00

Mike:
I've been reading posts from (like myself) fans and wonder what you think of being the next big sex symbol - covered in muck and poo? -- mikefantoo

********

I can't speak to the proclivities of sexuality and attraction, but The Poo-Covered Man with Sex Appeal is a fascinating construct. Several points, however.

1. The Poo Covered-Man must have at least some virtue and success to create the necessary dichotomy. (Dirty on the outside, clean on the inside.) A thoughtless cretin for instance, covered in poo, has no real appeal, sexual or otherwise.

2. The Poo Covered Man must not seek out the poo - in order to achieve a level of sex appeal, the poo must come to him. It must be a symptom of his job, not a contrivance. A man who deliberately covers himself in poo, is not sexy.

3. The Poo Covered Man must never, ever, under any circumstances, be covered in his own poo.
That, is never sexy.

Having said this, I reject all claims of sex symbolness.

Mike

Happiness is easiest Digested when Served with Struggle

2009-01-07T11:27:51-05:00

...Being Satisfied at NOT getting everything you want.

Hi Mike,

I want to know, when you are a "Brand”, a one name entity-"MIKE" like "Oprah"or "Cher", and perhaps have your "book deals"and your boat, and Barsky has bought "knees"and Doug and the guys have what they want, and you have seen to everyone else's needs, will you be happy?
Will you get up every morning with a smile and go to bed every night with a giggle or is that one thing still going to be missing -just slightly out of reach?

Mike will you finally truly be happy?

...Isn't that what really matters in the long run anyway?

Angie J.K. -- pingu_is_my_hero

Hi Angie

You ask, "I want to know, when you are a "Brand," a one name entity- "MIKE" like "Oprah" or "Cher", and perhaps have your "book deals” and your boat, and Barsky has bought "knees” and Doug and the guys have what they want, and you have seen to everyone else's needs, will you be happy."

I hope so. But if the answer is "yes," it won't because I'm unhappy now. Nor will it have anything to do with the things you mention. (With the possible exception of Barsky's knees.) Most of what has come my way has had very little to do with my ambition, and even less to do with the pursuit of happiness.

"Will you get up every morning with a smile and go to bed every night with a giggle..."

I hope so. But to be clear, I'm content with the amount of smiling and giggling currently in my life. I always have been.

"...Or is that one thing still going to be missing -just slightly out of reach?"

Well, I certainly hope some things remain out of reach. I can't imagine anything less satisfying than getting everything I want.

"Mike, will you finally truly be happy? Isn't that what really matters in the long run anyway?

Of course not, Angie. Happiness is a lousy and dangerous goal. It's a great symptom, but it's too fleeting to be sought after in and of itself. Doing only that, which makes you happy, is a lot like following your passion at every turn. It's childish. (Pick up a tabloid, and read all about the fabulous people, chasing happiness and following their passion.)

The chronically unhappy break my heart.
The perpetually satisfied turn my stomach.

To often, the desire to be happy drives people to act selfishly, take shortcuts, and cheat. When Happiness becomes The Goal, it leads to nonsensical advice like "If It Feels Good, Do It! and "Work Smart, Not Hard!" Such "wisdom" will do more to destroy happiness than achieve it, in my opinion.

I try and make choices that feel smart and right. Those choices don't always lead to immediate happiness, but choosing otherwise will guarantee misery. That much I know for certain. I like challenges, and feel suspicious of anything that comes too easily. It's not that I crave adversity; it's just that without it, there can be no tension. And with no tension, there can be no release.

And I do enjoy a good release.

To be fully understood, the concept of "right" needs an awareness of "left." "Up" needs "down." "Good" needs "Bad." To be fully appreciated, "Clean," needs "Dirty." And to be fully enjoyed, "Happiness" is easiest to digest when served with some kind of struggle. Happiness shouldn't be a reward. It should be a part of the job. Happily for me, it is.

Mike

Mike's Theory for Good TV

2008-12-31T12:38:11-05:00

...Less is More

Mike,

I just wanted to tell you that I think you are probably one of the most down to earth people I have ever seen on T.V. You have got to have one of the coolest personalities, and I think you would have to, to be able to do the jobs that you do, and still walk away with a smile on your face. It's amazing that you can be as happy if not a bit sarcastic while trying to trap crawfish in mud that hurts....or having your boot stuck in bat poop. It's the best reality type of TV show that I have ever seen, and I give you major credit for doing the things that you do...and I hope that your show lasts!! -- lovenlife05

~Thank you very much.

In my own biased and meaningless opinion, TV is at its best when it captures moments that are genuinely honest and uncontrived. Those are the moments you mention, and the reason I think DJ has had an audience. However, it's really, really, really hard to find those moments, because TV production, as a rule, is one big contrivance. Most producers over-produce. Most directors over-direct. Most talent over-act. Most writers over-write. Most editors over-cut. We who make TV are our own worst enemy, because we too often attempt to create that which can really only be captured. It's funny, but the best moments in television seem to happen when people do less, step back, and let the action happen.

I am very fortunate to work on a show that subscribes to that theory.

Happy New Year
Mike

Mike on New Year resolutions ~ "I've always maintained that resolutions should be made, and broken, whenever necessary."

Mike like Santa?

2008-12-26T11:49:13-05:00

He knows if you have been Dirty, he knows if you have been working hard...and he has been in a Chimney!

Dear Santa Mike,

I can’t help asking myself “has it come to this?” I feel as if I’m writing Santa Claus, excited about the prospect of sending thoughts and musings off into the universe.

As for Santa, you have to admit there are some similarities. Charming guy, loved by all in countries around the world, does a dirty, ashy job in hopes of brightening people lives and recognizing honest, good, responsible behavior that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. I like this contemporary version considerably better...orange Dickies instead of red suit, aerodynamically fit making descending chimneys and air travel a bit easier in this modern age, hair and beard still rugged, but occasionally clipped, and he appears more than once a year!

So if good girls get presents, and bad girls get coal. I’m hoping dirty girls get answers.

1. At what age did you first read the Travis McGee books? I wonder if McGee’s philosophy informed your decision to pursue arts and television which are by nature episodic thus allowing for periodic retirement

2. George Bernard Shaw wrote “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Did you set out to create – to be – a well rounded, smart and charming person? Intentionally pursue singing lessons, veracious reading, Italian or other languages, and continuously exercising the muscle of writing….or were you just born this way? Merely making the most of the gifts you were given...finding and polishing each skill.

3. Question which has puzzled me for years and I’d love to hear your thoughts since you are smart with an amazing ability to recall quotes, tunes, titles and names. Are memory and intellect mutually inclusive? Can a person be an intellectual without a great memory for details and numbers? Can a person with a great memory still lack mental sharpness?

Well, enough of this. I hear the distant call of Barsky, the Chief Elf, beckoning you back to the workshop…or the bar. Truth be told, all I really wanted for Christmas is for you to publish your writing. I like your style, but more important I like your point of view. It is refreshing, direct and insightful. It is nice to find someone who still believes in responsibility for one’s actions, discipline, honor, integrity and appreciation for the small things in life.

Thanks for a year of written thoughts which make my mind race, television that makes my heart race, and chuckles that lift my spirits. -- BashfulinDC

Hi Bashful, (my favorite dwarf)

1. It’s true. I'm in this business because of a fictional character. The prospect of an early retirement plan based on periodic installments was irresistible to me. I lacked McGee's skills, but wanted to use the ones I had to live a life with that kind of freedom. I was simply enamored of free time, and sickened by the prospect of working because I had no choice. I realized in a hurry that most people in this industry are either motivated by the dream of steady work and the trappings that come with it, or following their passion. I am a fan of neither, and came to suspect that a guy who cared very little for such things might have an opportunity to take the reverse commute, make a decent living, and still keep 6 months a year to himself. On that score, I was right. I read The Deep Blue Goodbye in 1984. Ten years later, after being escorted from QVC headquarters for the final time, I reread the entire series, and committed myself to a career of short-term engagements. Obviously, I have lapsed.

"George Bernard Shaw wrote, Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

2. I think Shaw is being a little glib with that one. We've already been created. That was the hard part, and the real pressure is off. All we have to do now is not wreck it. My recipe for doing so involves a conscious decision to have as much fun as possible while doing things that don't come easy. My most rewarding pursuits have all resulted in some level of failure.

"Can a person with a great memory still lack mental sharpness?"

3. I’d be wary of intellectuals. I’ve known a few, and never really liked them. Can’t remember why…

As a practical matter, forgetting something and not knowing something aren't much different. Either way leaves you looking stupid. Most intelligence tests are really memory tests. I think that memory can improved upon in ways that other indicators of intelligence cannot, but it is not, in and of itself, a mark of genius. I have a friend with a near photographic memory who has done more idiotic things than anyone I know. (At least he'll remember his stupidity in vivid detail.) I see memory as a guidance system, like a GPS on a plane. Without it, the most sophisticated plane ever built will never get anywhere. But a great GPS on a crappy plane will not save you from crashing.

I might suggest, humbly, that a better distinction could be drawn between memory/intelligence vs. wisdom. Wisdom is the thing to aspire to, and is in my opinion, a combination of intelligence, instinct, courage, common sense, experience, and humility. In no particular order.

Welcome,

Santa "Mike"

THE DIRTY JOBS TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-17T09:34:16-05:00

"Check out the holiday video a fan made for Mike and the Dirty Jobs Crew!

Creating and posting the video is really a gift you give to me. Thank you!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!

Judy - judypearl

Stunned. Humbled. Blown Away!

The video takes more than time. It requires energy, thought, and mad creativity. I'm sitting here alone, laughing out loud. Like belly laughing, really fun. Thanks Judy - very, very much.

Merry Christmas,

Mike

Mike's Dirty Work Ethic...

2008-12-10T16:35:25-05:00

Does He possess one? Is liking what you do enough?

Hello Mike,

I've enjoyed you thru the years on the various shows I've seen you associated with - and have always appreciated your humor and eye for the absurd. But I believe its "Dirty Jobs" that has brought the best opportunity for that humor to be displayed.

I think the tact you use to approach each job and worker is admirable, and it's a good deal responsible for the respect and appreciation the audience gains for the jobs being presented. The experience and professionalism you bring to such a demanding gig like the one you have is clearly evident.

In light of the above, here's my question(s):

Would you be able to put into words what you believe your own personal work ethic to be? What do you believe was responsible for instilling that work ethic? Has it changed at all over the years, and if so, how?

In closing, I wish you continued success in your chosen field and thank you again for letting us enjoy the fruits of your labors.

Sincerely,

"KleenHobbeez"

Much obliged.

Being good at what you do is a symptom of liking what you do. Too often, people assume it's the other way around. I'd rather be an average worker who loved his job than a bored genius who was never challenged or engaged between the hours of 9 and 5. Hence, my current job is a good fit.

As for work ethic, I don't know that I actually possess one. Woody Allen was probably onto something when he said that 90% of success is just showing up. Showing up however, does not guarantee happiness, and neither does success. I personally feel that no profession is so critically important (or breathtakingly vile,) that a guy can't enjoy himself while on the job. Farmer Bob epitomized that belief, as have several others featured on this show.

Somewhere in the daily struggle to make ends meet, people have forgotten the importance of celebrating time spent "on the job." It's such a big part of our lives; it seems preposterous to have a lousy time at it. Nor is it sensible to expect the job to provide the fun, or blame someone for a lack of it. It has to come from the worker, from his attitude, world-view, etc. That's a big part of Dirty Jobs - good natured people covered in muck, working their butts off, laughing. I guess that's my work ethic.

Mike

What Drives Mike?

2008-12-03T10:03:33-05:00

...Is it Goals, Inertia, the Legacy of Hard Work?

Hello Mike,

My question is why do you get up everyday? What force or power drives you? What goals would you like to accomplish in your life? How would you like to be remembered? Is it as Mike Rowe host of Dirty Jobs?

-- noor05

Those are big questions.

There are days when I feel grateful. There are days when I feel charitable. There are days, too many, when I feel selfish and greedy and petty. There are days when I feel silly, and buoyant, and completely free. There are days when I feel shackled, and trapped, and overwhelmed.

Regardless, I get out of bed, but suspect it has nothing to do with how I'm feeling at the moment. I think it has more to do with muscle memory, inertia, and the way I suspect I'd feel if I choose to remain in bed.

I have no specific daily goals. Each day is precious - I know - but I reject the pressure of living each one like it's the last. That's like trying to stay in your lane on the highway by staring at each and every broken white line as they rush past. It's hard to see where you're headed, driving like that. I prefer to look at my days like pages in a book. Some are harder to get through than others, but they're all part of a bigger story. Hopefully, a good one.

Anyway, I agree with T. McGee - "The closest we can get to awareness is when we see one man, under stress, react in a noble, selfless way."

As goals go, that's as good as any. And as for influences or legacies, I suppose I could do worse than be remembered as the host of a program that helped celebrate hard work and good cheer.

Mike

The Real Dirty Deal?

2008-11-24T12:15:21-05:00

Is Mike the same as he was before the Dirt?

My concern would be that if Mike was a nice guy before DJ and now all of a sudden he is a not-so-nice guy...then, maybe there would be a problem, but I don't know him personally and can't speak on how he is with this "fame" or if he's changed because of his bank account. I'll be his fan just the same...and if 5 years from now people are saying, "The guy from what show? Dirty Jobs? What's that?" I'll still be his fan.
I personally like the fact that Mike doesn't flaunt things...like hey! Look at me!

-- melissanohio

Weirdly, the people who are most surprised by my persona on Dirty Jobs, are the people who know me best. Because my best friends and family just can't get over the fact that I appear no different on the show than I do in real life.

This is not necessarily a good thing. It's just an unusual thing. "Hosts," by and large, are not really hired to be themselves. They're hired most often, to impersonate other hosts. In the casting world, it's not unusual to read a breakdown that says "Looking for a Jeff Probst type" or a "Ryan Seacrest Type." That's why most hosts wind up looking and sounding the same. I can't tell you how many auditions I've walked into to find a dozen other guys who look and sound like me, all wearing the same bad blazer and trying to memorize the same terrible copy. Dreadful.

Anyway, Dirty Jobs doesn't have a host. Instead, it has a guest, and the guest is me. It's a huge distinction, and the main reason that I can actually get away with being me. Dirty Jobs is the first show I've ever worked on where there is no deliberate/desperate attempt to make me appear more intelligent, or more competent, or more likable than I actually am. What you see, for better or worse, is pretty much what you get.

Point is, the best thing about this gig is not the fact that I don't have to be "on" all the time. It's the fact that I'm never "on."

Mike

Mike Offers a Potential Eagle Scout His Eagle Perspective

2008-11-12T11:50:56-05:00

Now for the (ta dah!) Major Announcement: Mike has written the attached letter and will personalize and sign it for any Eagle Scout out there who requests it. All you have to do is mail a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Eagle Scout Letter, Pilgrim Films and Television, 6180 Laurel Canyon Blvd., #350, No. Hollywood, CA 91606. Please allow 12+ weeks for Mike to fill it out, sign it and get it in the mail to you. And folks - this is an offer, a nice thing, a volunteer deal Mike wants to do for you - please don't complain if it takes a while to get to you, OK? It'll get handled as quickly as possible.

mikeroweWorks Link to Mike's Letter to Eagle Scouts!

Still: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent...okay maybe not so clean!

Mike,
I'm not sure where I heard that you are an Eagle Scout, which brings me to my question. Could you PLEASE take a moment & post to my 13 year old son Kelby & encourage him to finish scouting (& anything else that'll help with this?) Reason I'm asking is that he only lacks 1 1/2 - 2 years in reaching Eagle, but some of his buddies have got him to thinking scouting isn't cool at his age.
Thanks much, Gary -- scooterdave

*****

Kelby,

Your Dad asked me to drop you a line and say something inspirational that might persuade you to dig down deep and find the determination to make the rank of Eagle Scout. It's a reasonable request, from a father who obviously wants to see his son succeed. But here’s the thing - The Eagle Award is not really meant for people who need to be dragged across the finish line. It’s meant for a select few, and I have no idea if you have the guts to see it through.

Statistically, I suspect you do not. Only one out of a hundred Scouts make Eagle, so if you fail, there will be lots of other people with whom you can share excuses. Quitting now might disappoint your Dad, but I doubt that he or anyone else will be overly surprised. Anytime 99 out of 100 people do the same thing, it’s not exactly a shock.

I’m not trying to be cute with a bunch of reverse psychology. When I was 15, there was nothing that anyone could have said to me that would have inspired me to do something I didn't want to do, especially a stranger with a TV show. So I’m not going to assume you’re any different, or pretend that I have some influence or insight that you haven’t already heard from a dozen other people who actually know and care about you. I’ll just tell you straight up, that doing something extraordinary can be very lonely, and most people simply aren’t cut out for it. Being an Eagle Scout requires you to be different than most everyone around you, and being different is really, really hard. That’s why the award is called “an accomplishment.”

Personally, and for whatever it’s worth, the best decisions I've made in my own life, are those decisions that put me on the outside of being cool. Singing in the Opera, working in home shopping, staring in the school play when the entire football team laughed at me, and especially earning my Eagle, were all choices that required sacrifice, hard work, and delayed gratification. I have no idea if you possess those qualities, or even envy them. But I can tell you for certain, that NOT getting your Eagle, will be one of the easiest things you’ve ever done.

Anyway, I have no idea if you would prefer an easy life of predictability and mediocrity, or if have the passion to follow the road less traveled. Only you get to decide that.

Good Luck,
Mike

Mike - Hard Works Campaign Manager

2008-11-05T11:21:42-05:00

...Is He the Working Man's Hero or Just their Dirty Champion?

Dear Mike,

I know Dirty Jobs is a great show. I have a lot of respect for what you do but Mike; you do not live a normal life like we do. I am curious as to why you are considered the hero of the working man? As an entertainer and I think a member of the Screen Actors Guild, you are paid to bring, education, laughter and a new show to television each week. But you are not really like me. You are kind and seem sincere in what you are doing, but you still do not have to go to any one of those dirty jobs day after day. -Lisa

(Mike's responses to these and Lisa's other questions.)

_____________________________________________________________

The truth is, Lisa's questions are best answered in a book, or perhaps another venue, both which I plan to undertake, in the unlikely event I find myself with several consecutive weeks off. Till then, a few brief comments to the original questions.

"I am curious as to why you are considered the hero of the working man?"

Obviously, that can only be answered by those who consider me as such. I certainly do not, and never have. However, hard work is in desperate need of a PR campaign. Historically, people with dirty jobs have portrayed in predictable, unflattering ways. I try not to do that, without kissing up. Consequently, I am seen as different. My current notoriety speaks more to the problem at hand, than my own sparkling personality.

"As an entertainer and I think a member of the Screen Actors Guild, you are paid to bring education, laughter and a new show to television each week."

My status as an "entertainer" generates no income, in and of itself. And members of the SAG are not paid. In fact, I pay for the membership, which is mandatory.

"But you are not really like me."

You have me at a disadvantage, as I have no idea what you are really like. And might I suggest, you might not really know me either.

"You are kind and seem sincere in what you are doing, but still you do not have to go to any one of those dirty jobs day after day. (An illusion of Hollywood, very good one)."

I work every day Lisa. Every single day. And I like it. That is not an illusion.

"In the beginning I think you may have been earnest, but now, you are everywhere and celebrity is your life."

Forgive me, but you have made three mischaracterizations in one short sentence. I was not earnest in the beginning. I am not everywhere. Celebrity is not my life.

"You deserve what has come from your ideas and still are working hard to bring more attention to the show. I realize that is hard teamwork putting a show together from what you have explained to us, I am sure it is. But you get to cross that one off your list and move on. (I am brown with envy) I have been doing that most of my life and let me tell you, it is not looked upon as good on a resume."

There's more to life than a good resume. And crossing the days off as I go is something we all can do, if you're so inclined to do so, regardless of what you do for a living.

"Mike, you've said that you never wanted to do that kind of work or perhaps that you did not have the "gene". Why are you doing it now?"

Because I am interested. As I've always said, Dirty Jobs is a simple show with big themes presented around a very personal point of view. Now, after 200 jobs, I'm thinking it might be time to drill down a little more on what those themes are, and how they affect the show’s popularity. I have no interest in becoming a "spokesman" for a group of people perfectly equipped to speak for themselves. However, I find myself with a unique claim, and a unique perspective. Moving forward, I think it's worthwhile to talk about the lessons I've learned over the last few years. Not from a preachy standpoint, but from a personal perspective. The fact is, I've been wrong about a great many things I assumed to be true about the nature of work. I've seen the very real consequences of what can happen when a society demonizes dirt, and makes hard work the enemy.

"Please do not take this as a hit and get mad at me. I am just questioning why I like Dirty Jobs and look forward to it each week. Is it because of the show? Is it because I like you or how your bring attention to all of the crappy jobs that one has to do each day?"

Good questions. I await your answers.

"All of it I guess, you are pretty neat."

Thanks. All in all, I guess I'm pretty grateful.

"I watch the show with my nephew who is 11 years old and his father came in the room. He said "Do good in school or you will have that job one day."

And that Lisa is exactly how we make work the enemy. We separate blue from white collar, putting them at opposite ends of the spectrum. In truth, they are two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other. Separating them in this way has lead to real problems, and today, we are all paying the price for that kind of thinking, in a dozen different ways.

"The attention you have brought to the working people is doing something good. But it is still an illusion."

You're on the verge of depressing me. Why is it an illusion? The jobs are real. The people are real. Don't despair. There is still much to be happy for.

"Do you think you can change the minds of America about going to a dirty job each day or are they just laughing at us?"

In my experience, the people who I have met on this show are the ones laughing. They are the ones who appear to be in on the joke. Not your nephew’s father. As for changing the way people think, I don't know. But I believe I might be able to shift the conversation a bit. After that, who knows?

"I am proud of all the things I do as a creative person and a hard working person. Thank you Mike."

You should be. And you're welcome.

Mike

Random Rowe Responses To Assorted Irregular Queries

2008-10-29T12:10:56-04:00

Hello Mike,

Here is some questions some of the women (desperate housewives) at the gym wanted me to ask you. esme711

These questions frighten me. But a gym full of cranky women is positively chillling.

So...

Least Favorite Animal Poo?

It varies. At the moment, snake.

Last Halloween Costume?

Austin Powers, with teeth.

Favorite Smell?

Pit Beef, when I'm hungry. Pine, when I'm hiking. Soap in general.

Ginger or Mary Ann? (or Mrs. Howell?)

Yes, yes, not yet.

Favorite Salad Dressing?

Honey Mustard

Favorite Mascot?

None. Mascots are to close to parade floats, and I hate parades.

Least Favorite Dirty Jobs Smell?

Barsky's Boots.

Favorite Desert?

Hollywood

Favorite Dessert?

Spicy Pumpkin Ice Cream.

Favorite Beer?

Whatever's cold. Negro Modello, Anchor Stream or Sierra Nevada.

Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Onions, mushrooms.

Favorite Brady Bunch Episode?

Broken Vase

Favorite Thing to do With Potatoes?

Shoot them from a potato cannon.

Childhood Ambition?

Puberty

Favorite Food?

Sushi or an excellent steak.

Summer or Winter?

Winter

Favorite Book?

"A Prayer for Owen Meany" or anything by J.D. MacDonald

Boxer or Briefs?

Both

Kissing or Hugging?

Either

Nude or PJs?

PJs are an abomination. Clothes to sleep in? Madness. The key is bedding. Light flannel in the cooler months, Egyptian percale in summer.

Last Purchase?

Several pounds of Indian food.

Title of the book you are writing?

Still Debating.

Mike

The Dirtiest Job on Sesame Street!

2008-10-22T12:05:33-04:00

Brought to you by the letters: M I K E

How did this come about Mike? Did they pitch the idea to you? How was it working with a muppet? Did you get to meet the other muppets?

If you have time to tell us the story.......

Sal -- dirtysal

Hi Sal,

The call came from a PR person at Discovery, and went something like this.

DCI: Mike?
Mike: Yeah.
DCI: Sesame Street?
Mike: Depends. Oscar?
DCI: Yes.
Mike: Can I get in the can?
DCI: Call you back in five.

Five minutes later.

Mike: Hello?
DCI: Highly irregular, but they'll let you in the can.
Mike: Book it.

And just like that, I'm cracking wise with my childhood hero. Strange days.

Mike

DCI Photo

Unhandy Dandy Mike...

2008-10-15T11:38:53-04:00

Remembers The Handiest Person He Ever Knew.

I'm sure you knew about fixing everyday needed items. Maybe knew how to change the oil in your car, certainly knew how to change a tire and stuff. But truly, has your stint with Dirty Jobs taught you things you can use in your everyday life that you never knew before? Are you handy Mike? Gayle -- bluechild

*********

I'm not handy. (unhandy? dehandy? without hand?)

I am merely resourceful, and capable of getting virtually anything done, eventually. However, that ability does not come naturally, and often involves considerable pain and much profanity.

My grandfather was the handiest person I ever knew. He was the guy you called when something - anything - was broken. With an 8th grade education, he became an accomplished mechanic, plumber, electrician, lumberjack, bricklayer, and architect. He could build a house without a blueprint, and often did. When I was 5, a neighbor brought him an antique cuckoo clock that hadn't worked in a hundred years. He took it apart, and spread out over 200 tiny parts on the floor. Two hours later it was back together, in working order. The owner wept. As he got older, and suffered some physical setbacks, my Dad became his body, and served as an "apprentice" for decades.

At base Dirty Jobs is really a very self-absorbed tribute to them, and an effort on my part to recreate a dynamic I remember from my childhood. (And you guys thought it was a TV show?) I am still mystified by mechanical prowess, and admire those people who can fix things efficiently and naturally.

Alas, I am not one of them.

Mike

Dirty New Season Debut!

2008-10-08T11:25:00-04:00

Tar Rigger Toils, Treacherous Altitudes & Mike's Terrified Mom!

(Excerpt from Mike's open letter to his Mom posted on the Mud Room message board Mother's Day 2008)

It’s been another busy week. Started in San Diego aboard The Star of India – the oldest merchant ship still functioning, more or less. It’s docked in the harbor downtown, and in plain view of the general public, which makes shooting interesting. Dad will love the story itself, but I’m afraid you will not approve. Most of the work takes place 150 above deck, in various parts of the ships rigging. (I know that lately, you have seen me working at a variety of treacherous altitudes, and I apologize for that. I’m not trying to scare you any more than usual, or turn the show into a high wire act. That’s just the way the stories have unfolded, and because the network has insisted upon a schedule with no room for show-building, we have no choice but to air the stories we shoot in the order we shoot them.)

Anyway, you can look forward to various shots of your oldest son dangling from a bosons chair, smearing hot tar on several miles of exposed rope. Good stuff. Later, you will scream at the television as I gently slather rendered animal fat to the very top of a wooden mast. (Aside from being fun to smear, animal fat works as a kind of weatherproofing, and smells like wet dog food. In fact, after the shoot, I became very popular with several strays in the area, which confused me with a walking chew toy. Sadly, we had stopped rolling, but I can still feel their greedy tongues, lapping hungrily at my Dickies. Strange, but not entirely unpleasant.)

From the shoot, we went to an overpriced sushi joint not far from the Star, where I had every intention of buying the crew dinner and drinks. (They were fearless that day – Troy in particular, who dangled in the breeze longer than any of us.) Happily, I didn’t have to. Dirty Jobs is a big deal in San Diego, and people began to send drinks over the minute we sat down. Eventually, a young guy in the real estate business stopped over to say hi, and got so excited he wound up buying everybody’s meal. Crazy. It used to make me feel uncomfortable – people buying me stuff. But I’ve come to realize that people really feel a need to say thanks for the show. I’ve become peaceful with the fact that people feel sorry for me, and have no problem accepting their expressions of gratitude/pity. (Don’t tell Dad.)

Mike

Check out the photos from the Star of India shoot in the Fan Photos & Snagged Screen Shots forum!

Life on the Road...

2008-10-01T11:52:24-04:00

Memorable Encounters & Unaccommodating Accommodations

Mike,

This multi-phase question/comment has to do with life On the Road.
Right now, you may be in a rental van, lost again or you may be sitting at that little table in the corner of the room that doubles as a desk/coffee table/suitcase rack/dirty sock holder AND you probably have that Internet cable stretched taught around the armoire/TV stand/toe stubber.
The first parts of the question are who reserves and whose responsibility is getting you a flight, rental van and a place to stay, even if it’s not 3 or 4 diamonds?

While staying at these places have you ever had any problems with other guests?
The other day I had Santa’s entire reindeer sleigh team training in the room above ours.
I’m sure after a long Dirty Day; you want a full night’s sleep without the lesson in human interaction.

Then there are your eating habits on the road.
How do you keep from eating “junk” when that’s a good portion of what’s out there near most motels?
Do you ever partake in the “Continental Breakfasts”?
Exactly what little continent are they from?
-- spock8113

**********

Hey Spock

Discovery does indeed have a travel department, but they do not handle the specific bookings for Dirty Jobs, or any other individual series for that matter. That's all done through the production companie(s) responsible for each show. Ultimately, Discovery pays the freight, so the production companies are given perimeters in which to book travel. As long as they stay within those guidelines, they are reimbursed. Those perimeters of course are dictated by money, and not much of it.

Consequently, I awake this morning on a lumpy mattress, to the sound of a nearby chainsaw, which actually turns out to be my air-conditioning unit shuffling off its mortal coil. Other thoughtful niceties include a remote with no batteries, a lamp with no bulb, a toilet that flushes by magic, and no soap or shampoo. It's hard to get good help.

Could be worse last year in Texas, it was "Cricket Season," an annual occasion announced by a sign in the lobby of our 1 Star accommodation. The sign's author apparently had no room to elaborate, so we were unprepared to find our rooms littered with the corpses of dead crickets - literally hundreds of them - their various remains ground into the carpet by earlier guests. Not all were dead of course - many were hiding, laying in wait. Those began to chirp with enthusiasm, the moment the lights were turned off. Charming.

Human encounters are no less memorable, but increasingly complicated, as the shows notoriety increases. Time was, I wouldn't hesitate to fling open my door and shout in nude and righteous indignation at noisy parties close at hand. Recently however, that approach was answered by a somewhat slurred, "Hey, you're that Dirty Work guy. And you got no clothes on."

As for food - I appreciate fine cuisine, but will eat anything, and often do. In a few moments, I'll see what today's "buffet" has to offer. I'm not optimistic.

Mike

Emmy Night According to Mike...

2008-09-24T11:39:50-04:00

Peer Approval, Naked Envy, a Fugue State and Ending with the Porcelain Prize!

We caught the news that you didn't pick up an Emmy for Dirty Jobs this go around. We were all rooting for you. I understand that Dirty Jobs should be recognized by those that measure such things as a ground breaking renovation in television media. Not only the show, but the entire package should be considered. Of course, that's not up to me is it? The Emmy's aren't the people's choice are they? Any who, after you get home and strip of the cummerbund and tie, what award would you like to see Dirty Jobs receive?
Thanks for the show, Sharon -- Dust Maker

"See Mike on the Red Carpet at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards September 13, 2008"

Hi there, DustMaker

Have I really never answered any of your questions before? Sorry about that – nothing personal. I will make up for it now.

Re: The Emmys, here’s my problem - If I write about them with enthusiasm I’ll appear no different from any other “host” who craves the approval of his peers and yearns to celebrate his good fortune in front of a room full of people that wish they were in his position and resent the fact that they are not. If I write with contempt, I’m a righteous snob who sees himself as “too good” for such choreographed displays of self-congratulatory pap, but attends anyway. And if I split the difference, I’ll seem political or apathetic – the enduring hallmarks of a sore loser. What’s a fake host to do? Well, since I was nominated in the “reality” category, I suppose I should just keep it real.

I was very pleased and sincerely happy to see Dirty Jobs recognized. Happy for the crew, the production company, the network, the fans, and most of all, the 200 plus genuine “hosts” that have provided Dirty Jobs with a set and a cast these last four years. Everyone knows I’d like more people to watch the show, so any recognition is a good thing, and I’ll take whatever I can get. For that, I’d like to thank the Academy…

Regarding some earlier questions on this topic:

Was I personally surprised by the nomination?
Yes.
Did I expect to win?
No.
Was I disappointed or surprised by the outcome?
No.
Was I “honored” to be mentioned with the other shows in this category?
No.
Do I think Emmy Awards have anything at all to do with the quality, relevance, importance, or popularity of a show?
No.
Not even a little?
No.
Would I have preferred to win anyway?
Yes...

Regarding the event itself, I can tell you this. It lasted five hours. And friends, five hours is too long to sit in one place.

It’s too long for a play.
It’s too long for a film.
It’s too long for an opera.

And its way too long to sit in the giant Nokia Theater, waiting to hear your name mispronounced by one of your peers. These days, the only thing I’m still happy to sit through for five hours is a cross-country flight. I’m still amazed at the efficiency of air travel, and count my time buckled in low and tight across the hips as well worth the necessary captivity. However, I know going in exactly how long a cross-country flight is supposed take. And barring any unforeseen problems, I know that after a movie, a nap, a bottle of wine, and several chapters of something worthwhile, I’ll arrive in another time zone several months faster than my great grandfather could have ever imagined.

The Emmy Awards however, offer no such certainty. There is no flight plan. You simply sit there; an unpaid extra in an elaborate production that may or may not require your actual participation. Unlike a mere attendee, you are powerless, because though you have been nominated, you have not been told exactly when your category will be announced. In fact, you are given no information whatsoever as to the approximate time your presence might be suddenly required on stage. Consequently, you are afraid to get up and stretch your legs, or God forbid, use the bathroom. You are “on call,” and can only sit there in there in stunned amazement as a gaggle of nominees make their way on stage to individually accept the Emmy for "Outstanding Innovation and Achievement in Advanced Media Technology for the Best Use of Personal Media Display and Presentation Technology.” (Really.)

During that first hour, it’s really not so bad. Kind of festive really, with a pleasant anticipation in the air. You let your mind wander, and consider your remarks, should you actually win. You vow to keep it light and pithy. You rehearse it in your head. Then, you think about the two pints of beer you drank in the lobby, and wish you’d used the toilet before sitting down.

One hour stretches to two. The categories become more esoteric. The speeches, more incomprehensible. The cruel combination of not knowing when the event will conclude and not being able to get up and pee leads you to ponder absurd scenarios. (Are you on some kind of hidden camera show, where the cameras aren’t even hidden? Is the whole thing an elaborate joke, perpetrated by Barsky and friends? Are you being punked? At what point will you just give up and pee your pants?) The phenomenon is not dissimilar to being caught in a traffic jam with no foreseeable resolution. You feel a whisper of claustrophobia and desperation.

Two and a half hours into the ceremony, you realize you are not alone. Hundreds of actual celebrities are checking their watches in quiet disbelief. These are people unaccustomed to waiting, and you can see a restlessness rippling through their ranks. Oddly, their misery brings you no comfort. You start to notice that each time a winner is announced, the losers surreptitiously make for the nearest exit, repairing no doubt to the lobby to slander the victor and drown their sorrows. You watch them leave with naked envy, as your former anticipation turns to resentment. You want out, but you can’t move. Your category might be next. And who knows, maybe you’ll win?

By the third hour, a palpable heaviness falls over the entire proceeding. You feel it in the air. The applause is now forced and half-hearted. Across the aisle, James Gandolfini is snoring. You no longer care who wins and feel foolish for the brief time you did. You don’t care about anything but getting some food and finding a toilet, and not in that order. Interestingly, you’re also drowsy, but have to pee so badly you dare not nod off. Tedium and discomfort vie for dominance, as you scribble nonsense on the back of your worthless program, trying in vain to think about something that isn’t your distended bladder, and wondering how many others are close to soiling their tuxedos.

By the forth hour, you are lapsing in and out of a fugue state. It’s impossible to concentrate on anything. Glancing down, you see that your doodling includes some legible words, which just happen to be the Kubler-Ross Five Stages of Grief, somehow channeled from a long forgotten psych class. You nearly laugh to realize that you have experienced all five in as many hours. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance. You have come to terms with the reality that you are not only helpless, but maybe in danger. You think of blood clots and pulmonary embolisms, and all the other infirmaries that come from sitting still for hours on end with no hope of future locomotion. Your left foot is asleep, and you ponder the vagaries of restless leg syndrome. On stage, more shtick is unfolding. The Dog Whisperer is speaking to Lassie in a language neither English nor canine, as evidenced by the confusion of the poor collie and everyone else in the room.

(I just realized I’ve been writing in the second person. Forgive me. That happens sometimes when I’m not ready to discuss something in detail. I’ll wrap it up now.)

My category - “Best Reality Show” - was the second to the last. I couldn’t tell you the last category, because I wasn't there for it. Kathy Griffin was sitting right in front of me, and when I heard her name announced, I leapt to my feet with her, and bolted toward the lobby as she and her retinue sprinted toward the stage. Reaching the exit, I heard several F bombs explode behind me, as Ms. Griffin accepted her statue with typical class and restraint. (I’m not criticizing. Her profanities were certainly less offensive than my exploding bladder would have been, had I run for The Emmy instead of The Toilet.) As it was, I arrived at my own porcelain prize with less than one second to spare, and expressed my gratitude there with a sincerity and passion that I believe many in The Academy would have applauded, had my sentiments not so egregiously exceeded the allotted time.

Maybe next year.

Mike

Sense & Dirt Sensibilities

2008-09-17T11:40:58-04:00

Working Hard but Not Hardened by Work

There comes a time in life when you know deep down, that you have become HARDENED. And for me it is a Fringe Benefit of the Working Class. I feel it is earned and not just handed out. When I look at my Father and Uncles, who are in the same Career field as I am you can just tell that they are Hardened and it is something that you can't put a price tag on! To me it is one of those things that are passed down from generation to generation. Mike, are you able to see this BENEFIT in your Grandfather and Father??? Have you reached this SWEETNESS, in your life yet? If you say No, I think you have definitely put yourself on the right path to achieve IT. I think once this BENEFIT has been reached, Fathers expectations for their Sons, have been met.

Have a Good One. BOSS-MAN! Jeremy, The Heavy Junk Mechanic -- fry1975

Hi Jeremy

I agree completely that there are benefits of manual labor that far exceed a paycheck. And I also agree that many of those benefits are forgotten or ignored by many. But I would not personally describe the "sweetness" of my ideal working sensibility as "hardened." For me, it's more about balance in other words, being hard when I need to be hard.

Here's how I see it... Two generations ago, and I'm generalizing, the average working Joe was by and large, hardened. He had to be, as most jobs would chew up anyone who wasn't. But maybe - and this is just a possibility - he became hardened to the point of imbalance.

Back then, many people were so completely defined by their work that their personal identities adapted to reflect the rigors of their jobs. Then, a funny thing happened. In the space of one generation, the microchip came along, and changed the face of what a "good job" looked like. Next thing you know, the work force evolved into something very different from the days of Rosie the Riveter, and almost overnight, many good jobs no longer required the "hardening" you refer to. Then, as in earlier days, this modern worker evolved to reflect the personality and attitude required from this kinder, gentler job site. In other words, he got soft. Maybe, and this is just a possibility, to the point of imbalance. My hope with Dirty Jobs is to point out this change, and remind the modern day work force that a certain "hardening" still makes the world go round.

However, I would add that a good work ethic does not require steel toed boots and overalls. And not all office types are metro-sexual posers with a penchant for Cosmopolitans and scented candles. Our country depends upon many different skill sets and personalities to handle the diversity of jobs that need to get done. The problem right now, is that traditional images of work have fallen out of vogue, along with some traditional ethics. And that has triggered in many, (myself included,) a certain nostalgia for times gone by. To that end, Dirty Jobs is a wake-up call for balance in the workplace - and a reminder that plumbers, electricians, construction workers, and garbage men are still hauling our freight.

Mike

"The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work. -- T. Edison"

"A Man of Many Hats"

2008-09-10T11:16:07-04:00

Mike,

First, do you usually wear a hat, particularly a baseball hat, when filming DJ because it helps with the lighting and other technical camera issues?

Second, when you can't wear a hat, for instance on Jon Stewart, do you feel exposed? The short clever answer will be perfect.

Thanks for pondering this. -- Kathy

Hats - all good theories, some accurate.

Mainly, I wear hats on the show because conventional TV production etiquette frowns on the idea. Cameramen don't like them, because they create shadows. Personally, I like shadows, and despise production etiquette, so too bad for them.

I think hats are a nice way to offer my host a bit of free advertising. So I always offer to wear one, if available. I also like the personification of the metaphor - "he wears many hats." It's become kind of a "thing" on the show, and I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm glad for it.

As for how I look in a cap or a helmet or floppy garden hat, I really couldn't care less. My particular brand of vanity has less to do with looking good than appearing different.

Mike

Check out Mike's Dirty Jobs Cap Collection!

Mike's Got Mail Video - "Mike's Got Hats"

Facts, Dirt & Good Characters...

2008-09-02T11:24:49-04:00

Criteria for a Good Show

Having Mike Rowe be a zookeeper, a sewage cleaner, a garbage man, or a pest exterminator (as he has been) is visually stimulating because the job involves Rowe to continually move (a zookeeper cleans and feeds from place to place, the sewage is pumped and swept, the garbage gets hauled from every area, the exterminator sprays from area to area). This continuous scenery movement enables Rowe to make the segments entertaining. (As compared to a scene where all the worker does is sitting in one location and make repetitive movements, like a factory worker or the like.) But that’s not all of the criteria for the job to be showcased in my opinion. The show still needs to be relatable.

Mike, what are the limits of the show? What jobs have I not been able to think of that would fit into this category? Thanks for your input on this.

Sincerely, -- SC

***

The show has certain vague, but non-negotiable limits that are content related and determined by the network. I can't speak to those.

From a production standpoint however, all dirty jobs must incorporate at least some of the following criteria.

1. A "who knew" factor, like Chick Sexing.
2. A "gotta get done" factor, like Road Kill Clean-Up.
3. A great character, like Bill Bretherton from Vexcon.
4. Tons of factual information, like Bat Biologist.
5. A lot of dirt, like Charcoal Maker.
6. Backbreaking manual labor, like indoor demolition.

The more of these elements, the easier my job, and the better the segment. In my opinion, character and dirt are the most critical. With the right character, I believe I could spend the whole day a gravedigger, digging just one hole, and coming away with a worthwhile ten minute piece.

To answer your question, I can think of no job that would be unsuitable, provided dirt and character were abundant.

Mike

Doing "My Way" Then & Carrying A Tune Still...Even If It Is In A Dirty Bucket!

2008-08-26T11:54:24-04:00

Hey Mike,

Love the show, even though I have to turn my head at times. My question to you is if you are still involved with music in any way (singing), and what are some of your musical influences. Take care. Peace...Tim -- rth20056

Mike Sings "My Way" Karaoke on QVC (Click here to hear!)

These days, I sing mainly at weddings and funerals. I still get together with some buddies who I used to perform with in an acapella group, and enjoy singing 4 part arrangements of old standards. This activity usually occurs on a boat, far out of earshot from innocent bystanders.

I don't know about influences, but I know what I like. Giacoma Puccini, Johnny Hartman, Norman Luboff, Anton Dvorak, The Mill Brothers, Leonard Bernstein, Frank Sinatra, The Beetles, Billie Holiday, Sly and The Family Stone, Pink Floyd, The Singers Unlimited, Jimi Hendrix, and Hank Williams Jr.

Mike

Precocious Mike & The Magical Component Of Stretch Armstrong

2008-08-19T12:45:30-04:00

Another Glimpse Into Mike's Past before He was Dirty!

Hi Mike,

Dear heavens man, aren't you exhausted? I mean seriously how do you do it? What is your secret?

Some special herbal supplement?
Lots of caffeine?
Magic healing balm?
Personal masseuse?
Occasional nips of the Giggle Juice?
Are you the six-million dollar man in disguise?
Do you plug yourself in at night to recharge?

I mean, it would be no surprise if you were physically exhausted based on the jobs you do and the schedule you keep. But I can't figure out how the mental exhaustion hasn't chewed you up and spit you out. Do you ever feel like Stretch Armstrong? I got one for Christmas one year and I stretched it in so many ways, it started oozing some sticky yellow goo. I'd like to think this message board is one way you like to unwind at the end of a long day. But lord, sometimes this place can be kookier than the real world! And I'm a part of it! Is it all just entertainment for you? Admit it, sometimes you just shake your head and *sigh* don't you? Its okay, I won't be offended if you say "yes".

Seems like I've been apologizing a lot in real life. So I might as well continue here in the virtual world.
Sorry if I have ever added to the mental fatigue. Silly or serious, it’s always been with the best of intentions. You should get an award or something. Don't know what category but geez, you are trooper. Thanks for sticking around this place. I mean, it’s YOUR place even if you are just renting, but Thanks just the same.

kelby

"Do you ever feel like Stretch Armstrong?"

I remember Stretch all too well, and the memories are somewhat disturbing.

As I recall, one of my Mother's friends gave me the thing for my 9th birthday, and I resented everything about it. It was weirdly heavy, and oddly dressed. I didn't like the way it looked at me. (And who gives a doll to a nine year old boy?) For months, it stayed in its box, jammed unceremoniously under my bed with a butterfly collection and some illegal fireworks. Then one day, for no particular reason, I pulled the thing out and gave it a close look.

I can't say I ever warmed up to being a doll owner, but I will admit to a certain fascination with Mr. Armstrong. His composition was a great mystery. He would bend and stretch in any direction, but only responded to subtle pressure. If you punched him or poked him violently, it was like hitting solid rock. Hmm...

There was nothing on the box to indicate or explain what magical component Stretch was filled with, but I was immediately intrigued, and embarked upon a series of experiments that are best left in my distant memory. I will confess to dropping Stretch from great heights, testing his resistance to open flame (surprisingly good) and backing my father's station wagon over him. Repeatedly. (Yes, I drove at nine.) There was a vice, a screw press, and a drill in my grandfather’s workshop. All were utilized. There was an experiment with mercury, and some amazing reactions to the fireworks. (The M-80 should have blown him to pieces, but instead exploded harmlessly against his shoulder blades, in spite of being firmly affixed with electrical tape. Remarkable.) I also froze Stretch solid, and watched him thaw in the sun later that same day. He was never the same after that. Squishier, somehow. (Probably a good thing that microwaves were not yet around.)

You might think that his resiliency and innate survival skill would eventually endear me to Stretch, but it was really the exact opposite. His indefatigable will to live turned my resentment into something darker, and his incredible toughness only served to magnify my own twisted desire to heap more and more indignity upon this wretched, yet indestructible being.

Eventually, I took Stretch for that long walk where two leave and only one return. I situated him on the bank of the creek on the far edge of our property, and hunkered down about 50 yards away, with my bolt action .22 caliber rifle. (Yes, I owned a gun at nine. Several, in fact. Don't tell my Mother.)

There, on a warm, Indian summer afternoon, I took careful aim from my imaginary bunker, and put a bullet through Stretch Armstrong's hairless chest.

I'm all better now.
Mike

Smelling Like A Dead Chicken Has Its Perks!

2008-08-12T12:01:05-04:00

Escaping Flight Delays In Phoenix

Man, did YOU luck out!

I was on a flight from PHX to OAK and saw you getting up off the plane. I wish I had gone with ya! We ended up sitting there for at least 3 hours and didn't arrive in OAK until around 1 AM.

Whatever celebrity style card you played...it was the right one! --Tachometer

********************

Tach

It went down like this.

I had a ticket to SFO on a 10pm. I got to the airport early, (for once,) and decided to hop on the 845 to Oakland instead. I had come straight from a shoot, and I smelled like dead chickens. When the lightening started, I realized we were all going to take it in the neck. I also noticed the jetway was still in place. So I walked up to the lead flight attendant and said, "I'd really like to get off of this plane, now."
"Sorry," she replied, but that's against policy.
"I need you to smell my hair," I said, and leaned into her face before she could answer.
"Good God," she said, "you smell like a dead chicken!"
"Exactly," I replied. "And it's only going to get worse. Look, if we're going to be stuck on this plane indefinitely, you need to let me off. You're endangering the other passengers."
She agreed, and I spent the next two hours in a sports bar, drinking Negro Modelo and pondering my future.

Anyway, that was my big celebrity move - smelling like a dead chicken.

Mike

Mike Gives Us Some Dirt On Before He Was Dirty...

2008-08-05T11:55:34-04:00

"A Haunted Mansion, Swilling Drambuie and Some Stellar Parties!"

Hi Mike,

Do you ever have the time to throw parties or small gatherings? What kind of social host are you? "CDs stacked on the player; here’s the fridge, here's the booze, make yourself at home"? Or, caterer, DJ, dance floor? I know what I guess.

What's the best party you've ever thrown? -- mrsjones13

********************

Hello Mrs. Jones,

Not much on entertaining, to be honest. Not opposed to it, just don't have a lifestyle currently suited to planning, organizing, etc. Don't have the right space either.

But once upon a time, things were different.
Very different.

For several years in the early 90's, I lived alone in a sprawling, 19th century mansion in Chester PA. At the time, the Mansion was known as Georgia Farm, and was without question the most amazing home I've ever lived in. And yes, I've lived in a few. Technically, I was "hired" as a Caretaker by a woman who believed the property was haunted. Practically, I functioned as a Freeloader, performing minimal services for free room and board. It was the mother of all sweetheart deals. Georgia Farm sat on 330 acres of pristine property, and looked like a southern plantation. In fact, it was. Why it was built in Pennsylvania is another story, as are the exact circumstances by which I came to be the sole occupant for nearly two years. We'll deal with all that another time, along with the intruders, the ghosts, the guns, the art, the fire, the crazy player piano, and the sordid details of my abrupt eviction. Here's an aerial photo of Georgia Farm, taken 7 years ago. Makes me nostalgic.

http://www.stroudcenter.org/newsletters/2001fall/index.htm

Georgia Farm and the surrounding buildings were an entertainers dream, even if I was an entertainer’s nightmare. At the time, I worked the midnight shift at QVC, and kept hours best described as unconventional. I didn't have any actual friends in the area, but I was determined to change that quickly, and thanks to Georgia Farm, I had no trouble doing so. QVC employed several thousand, and there was a university nearby. I decided early on to make in impression.

Several weeks into my sentence at The Q, I had some people over. Nothing extravagant, just everyone in the zip code. I asked a girl I met at the college to spread a rumor through her sorority that a wealthy twenty-something had purchased a nearby country estate, and was having an open house all weekend. Word spread. I invited everyone at work. I invited the crew at the local Denny's where I at most of my meals at 3 am. I invited everyone at the Firehouse, and everyone at The Moose Lodge. I invited the town, and they all showed up.

I didn't do much, but really, I didn't have to. The place was impressive on its own. There were Tiki torches and Chinese lanterns. There were pigs on a spit. There were rowboats and canoes down on the lake. There was a keg of beer in every room, and there were many rooms. There was square dancing in the barn and live music on the giant porch. And there was a great deal of speculation about who the hell was. I didn't bother with the truth - just a shrug and a smile and a "Please, make yourself at home, and have fun. I've got to check on my other guests." I held court like some later-day Gatsby, walking around in a smoking jacket and swilling Drambuie.

The event went on in one form or another for nearly three days. People came and went. I had more food and more beer sent in. New friendships were forged. Babies were made. Two couples who met that weekend eventually married. (One is now separated but hey, what can you do?) All in all, I'd say three hundred showed up at that little get together. The good ones stuck around and helped me clean up, and are still friends.

Anyway, the party was a success, and there for a brief time, I was thought of as a thoughtful and genial host. Every month I'd do something similar, but on a smaller scale. Halloweens were of particular intensity, as the giant basement of Georgia Farm was never restored, and looked very much like a good place for an Inquisition, Spanish style. Christmas was fun too, with room for a twenty foot tree in the main hall, and a string quartet. And St. Patty's Day? Don't even get me started. That one made Hot Springs look like a Lenten Dinner...

Mike

2006 Shark Week Revisited

2008-07-29T12:32:35-04:00

Bitten, Rammed and Slammed!

(originally posted 5-13-06)

One day down the road, when I’ve had an opportunity to fully digest the events of the last 30 days, I’ll look back on April of 2006, and shake my head in wonder and gratitude.

I have just arrived home to San Francisco, by way of Baltimore, by way of Nassau, by way of Bimini, by way of Durban, by way of Cape Town, by way of Johannesburg. My crew and I have seen some sights, and return home with more than a few memories, and a story or two that may be worth telling. We have survived the wanton attacks of a deranged monkey, come face to face with Carcharodon carcharias, and looked down toward Antarctica from the very tip of The Dark Continent. It was not all that dark on the day in question, but The Cape of Storms lived up to its name, with high and steady winds that seemed intent on blowing us off our perch and into the sea. The daily wonders are too numerous to recount here – Table Mountain, Cathedral Pass, False Bay, the excellent local wineries – they all deserve more than a casual mention. Later, perhaps. For now, I will spend a paragraph or two on our most recent trip to The Bahamas.

Going in, my expectations were low. How could the sharks in the Caribbean measure up to the monsters we had seen in Africa? How much closer can you get to a shark than six inches from the open mouth of a Great White? Well, as it turns out, quite a bit.

On Bimini, I met a character called Doc Gruber who runs a research facility called The Shark Lab. There, I was given the opportunity to create a new form of shark repellant, and test its efficacy in a real world setting. This particular repellant is created from the corpse of other sharks, and required me to remove most of the flesh from a rotten shark that had expired several weeks prior. Lovely. Then, after much chemistry and complication, we headed out to sea with and several cans of repellant and a bucket full of chum. When we were far enough from shore to abandon all hope, I created a chum slick, which quickly caught the attention of several dozen ravenous reef sharks. Then, I jumped feet first into the middle of a feeding frenzy with an aerosol can full of a substance “guaranteed to repel all sharks.” If you’ve never leapt directly into a thrashing mass of hungry sharks before, let me assure you, it’s an experience that lingers. In good conscience, I can neither recommend nor endorse such activity. However, I’m happy to report that the repellant works, and drove the sharks off with all due speed. This gave me enough time to scramble frantically back into the boat before they returned, hungrier and angrier than before.

On to Nassau. Here, the point was to make and test a “shark suit,” a steel mesh contraption consisting of several hundred thousand tiny, metal rings that must all be welded together by hand. To test the suit, I headed out to sea, again. This time, I was accompanied by Jeremiah Sullivan, a dyed-in-the-wool lunatic who fears nothing and should have his own TV show. Jeremiah and I proceeded to create a massive pond of blood and tuna bits. Many dozens of sharks appeared, and surrounded the boat in a frenzy of uncontrolled dining. The water was a boiling mass of gray skin, red blood, and white teeth. Then wearing full scuba gear and shark suits, Jeremiah jumped directly into their midst. I followed. Together, we descended 50 feet to the bottom. I knelt next to him as he opened a bait box full of bonito. Sharks love, really love bonito. Within moments, the pandemonium that had existed on the surface was transferred to the ocean floor. We then began the actual job, which was to test the effectiveness of the suits we were wearing. In other words, get bit by sharks. On purpose.

When I say that we were completely surrounded by dozens of ravenous sharks, I am not exaggerating. When I say that we were bitten, rammed, and slammed into the sandy bottom time and time again, I’m not engaging in hyperbole. And when I tell you that I was profoundly frightened for my life, I am not even kidding a little.

I was bit 4 or 5 times. Jeremiah, many more. We’re both fine, albeit bruised. Shark suits work. Hallelujah.

Shark Week.

Mike

Dirty Jobs: Jobs That Bite & Jobs That Bite Harder DVD

Cameras & Cameramen Take a Licking but Keep On Taping

2008-07-22T11:39:34-04:00

Equipment Protection

The show is impressive! By the way, Mike you have a very kind face, makes me feel sorry for you every time I watch the show. When you went into the sewer, I thought cameramen had small cameras, but they had full size shoulder cameras! Every time I watch the show I'm impressed with the camera work. I mean just being a host is really hard, but being a cameraman, I don't think that camera cases would be enough, what if you fall down and drop the camera? PS. Like I said, even though I like the show, I feel sorry for you. I really hope you and your crew get GOOD pay. -- digital_reality

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Thanks.

Our cameramen are awesome, and committed to their work. If you want to admire or pity someone, Doug Glover and Troy Paff deserve more of both than me. I have suggested on numerous occasions that they trade in their full size rigs for smaller hand held cameras. It would simplify their lives dramatically, but they refuse, siting quality issues. (Is that not hysterical? The sewer needs to look as good as possible!)

Anyway, the cameras do take a beating, but they are replaceable, and not something I worry about.

Mike

Dirty Jobs High School Graduation Requirements

2008-07-15T12:11:20-04:00

Mike, which dirty job do you recommend we all try?

Hi Mike,

I was wondering if you had to pick one dirty job for everyone to experience and understand which one would it be. Can you pick only one? I have seen where it has been asked what is your favotrite and least favorite jobs were but not which one you would suggest we try. BTW - I love the show it is by far my favorite show on TV. Keep up the good work! -- Katie (WhiteAnemone)

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Hi Katie,

Great question. Off the top of my head, I'd say waiter/waitress.

If everyone had to spend a few months serving food to paying customers, the species would take a dramatic turn for the better in short order. Things like manners and expectations would improve across the board. Empathy would skyrocket and service would improve.

Equally beneficial - garbage collector or sewerage worker. A big part of our collective entitlement lies in the belief that we can throw or flush something "away". We are more insulated than ever from the endless crap we leave in our wake, and walking examples of the out-of-sight out-of-mind phenomenon. It creates an incredible lack of accountability, and that's bad in every way. Trust me, a few months in a dump or waste water treatment plant will change the way you look at the world. Should be mandatory for all high school graduates in my opinion.

Mike