Hey Mike, have you ever done stand-up? Because you are hysterical! For the hour that DJ is on I'm at all stages between giggling and guffawing. You crack me up! So have you done comedy professionally?  -- Terri

Thanks Terri

As a rule, I try not to tell jokes in front of strangers. A few years ago though, I wandered into an Improv club by accident, had a few drinks, and wound up on stage telling stories. People laughed, and later, a short guy in a shiny suit offered to get me bookings. I passed.

I admire a good comic, but doubt I have the proper sensibility for the job. There's something about the whole format of "stand-up" that leaves me feeling anxious. Besides, most of the things that people find funny about Dirty Jobs are not examples of me trying to get a laugh. More often than not, it's me, trying to keep myself entertained. Fortunately, I'm easy to amuse, and if you find yourself laughing along, I suppose you are as well.

(I mean that in the most complimentary way.)

Mike

Speaking of "stand-up" check out Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe Stand-up at the Discovery store!

Discovery Store

Hi Mike,


In years past I worked on a Cattle ranch in South Dakota and dairy farm. A cattle ranch smells like a bloom of honeysuckle next to a dairy farm. A dairy farm smells closer to a cross between a paper mill and a sewage treatment plant at high noon in the middle of July. It is both monstrously smelly, and dirty, you should feel right at home.

I really enjoy your show; bless you for being willing to take on their jobs if only for one day. It's more than most would be willing to do. I think you would agree with me when I say that I hope God created a special place in heaven for the men who invented rubber gloves, hip wadders, and Lava soap.

Keep it Dirty,
Missiann

Hi Missiann

Thanks you very much for watching, working, and understanding the folks who make the real world work.

As for Dairy Farms, I have more than a passing familiarity. It was a Dairy Farm in fact, that launched this series. In California central valley, I met a part-time minister who paid the rent by artificially inseminating cows (and collecting from bulls.) We spent a day together a few years ago with a film crew from CBS - my former employer. The resulting story looked like something between Black Beauty and a German porno. It aired here in San Francisco to considerable fanfare and controversy, and launched a segment called "Somebody’s Gotta Do It." (The segment, as you can well imagine, was graphic, funny, and just plain weird. It also won an Emmy.) Anyway, I sent that to my pals at the network, and the rest is dirty history.

Mike

DJ Dirty Quote:  (In this weeks episode Mike visits a Camel Dairy)

Riding a camel is like sitting on a hairy beanbag chair 8 feet in the air, supported by several heavy duty Slinkies recently marinated in an open sewer.

Mike

What surprised you along the way, as DJ became the hit that it is today?
If the show could be exactly as you want it to be, what would it be? – Isa

If I were King of the World, Dirty Jobs would have very little narration, or none at all. I would prefer all the information and fact come from conversation. (See the roofing segment.)  The pace would be slower. Scenes would play out longer. There would be more of a "behind the scenes feel," and less of an urgency to get from one scene to the next. The crew themselves would become characters. I would spend more time developing a relationship with the people I meet. Character would trump process, but we would still learn. Cr@p would not be bleeped. In other words, it would be unfit for prime time, and probably not the success that it has become.

Television tends to put people in boxes, and I don't want the people on this show to be made into straight men or heroes. I'm very suspicious of "tributes," and feel the word "hero" has been grossly overused in general. That's why I try hard to keep things lighthearted. However, I really do believe that polite society is held together by a group of people that get very little credit and respect. The only genuine way to acknowledge that contribution, in my opinion, is to simply do the work with them, and try my best to keep up.

That's really what Dirty Jobs is supposed to be all about. Sweat, knowledge, and laughter. A look behind the curtain.

Mike

In television, things happen either really slow or really fast. This looks like a period of time which falls into the "really fast" category for you. It certainly has the rumblings of a rocket just before take-off. Hang on!

My questions is how do you balance (A) the demands of a hectic work schedule and growing fame <with> (B) time for your self and those you love?

Given your constant exposure to highly dirty substances, what extra measures have you added to your personal hygienic routine? -- alishan67

Your questions are uncanny, in that I have been asking myself the same ones for the last month or so.

At the moment, things are out of my control. A lot of people are watching Dirty Jobs, which means a lot of network folk are trying to figure out why. Is it the content, the imagery, the stories, the characters, the host? Who knows? Shows sometimes take on a life of their own, especially when they have a theme that lots of people can relate to, i.e., working for a living. I don't know if DJ will endure for the long term or not. At base, there really isn't much to it - a curious guy asking questions to interesting people in unusual settings. It's a really simple show, and there is a tendency in television, (and everything else,) to overly complicate successful formulas. If I can keep that from happening, I will. Right now, there is a sense of urgency around DJ that is both fun and anxious. Rockets, as you may know, sometimes explode on the launch pad...

As for the secret to living a balanced life, I don't have it, unless it is to surround yourself with people who possess limitless patience and endless understanding. Frankly, I'm a bit suspicious of "balance." It's comfortable, but not all that interesting to me, at least, not on a daily basis.

I'll never be able to keep up with the questions. I would hope that a fan of the show would understand that, and not take an unanswered question personally. However, the future of DJ depends mainly on our ability to keep finding new and interesting jobs. The fans of the show will have a lot to do with that.

My commitment to basic hygiene remains unchanged.

Thanks,

Mike

Dear Mike,
I'm a student at the University of Wisconsin in Madison. You should probably call everyone you know and find a dirty job that you can do here.  I love your show! So, really, I look very forward to hearing from you.

Best to the crew too!!! -- Alison

 

Hi Alison

Couple years ago, I came through Madison for a dirty job. I'll never forget it. Met a guy named Les, who drove a honey wagon and cleaned septic tanks. It was a tough day that left us all fairly haggard. After the shoot, I ran into the sister of a girl I knew from my CBS days in San Francisco. I was right down the street from the main campus, and she and a bunch of her roommates were moving into the dorm. They had a ton of furniture, so the crew and I helped out. Afterwards, they invited us to hang out and have a beer. We did. Other students came by, and before long, there was a full-fledged party raging throughout the entire wing. I don't know where everyone came from, or how the kegs materialized so quickly, but it was an impressive feat of speed and organization that rivaled Delta House. At one point, I looked around and realized I was twice as old as everyone else in the room. Worse yet, I smelled like sewage. Under other circumstances, the realization might have been sobering, but amazingly, no one seemed to care, and I was too far along to feel sorry for myself. So, I proceeded to pretend that I was twenty-two again.



Three days later, I was well enough to get on a plane and fly
home.

I survived the septic tank, but the girls of Madison very nearly killed me. So thank you Alison, but no, I won’t be calling.

Mike

I got to thinking after watching the "waddle" show (Erosion Control Segment), you were driving that big machinery thing and chose to take the 'short cut', did you do that on purpose so you would get stuck and have a funny bit for the show? It could have been just a 'man' thing, but I kind of doubt it. Of course Troy's alpaca haircut (Alpaca Shearer Segment) was staged. Can you think of other things that seemed staged? -- Loretta

 

Hi Loretta,

Staging is just another word for production, and all television is "produced." The only difference, is to what degree?

On DJ, we look for general situations that have the potential for going sideways. Because I'm more or less untrained, and not particularly interested in being portrayed as overly competent, those situations are not hard to find. In your example, it happened like this:

The truck needed to go up the hill. Off camera, I asked if I could drive it. They said sure, but warned that I probably wouldn't make it because of the mud. They suggested I tow the device to the top with a bulldozer. At that point, most producers would say great, and hop on the bulldozer. But on Dirty Jobs, we can make a scene out of getting stuck, (and often do. Oftentimes, little adversities help illustrate the overall difficulty of the job.) So, we let the action unfold, knowing that I would likely need assistance from the bulldozer. That's the normal extent of our staging - call it light choreography.

It's important to remember - even though we ask you to believe otherwise - that Reality can never exist on TV. Some shows come closer to capturing it than others, but all fall short. True reality cannot be found on television, and should not be sought there.

Mike

Hi Mike:

As your English (honors, no less) and journalism teacher, I must tell you how proud I am that all that training has landed you a dirty job! We really enjoy your show. My favorite parts, of course, are the literary references and allusions, while my husband is partial to the muck! I knew when you wrote that loss of innocence composition about your first kiss that great things were in store for you. I just never dreamed they would involve farm animals! At any rate, I just wanted to reconnect and let you know that we truly are proud of your accomplishments. And if you want to shadow a really dirty job, try being a high school principal for a day! It's much less civilized than quoting Shakespeare and writing a lead, I assure you. Take care, and please greet your family for us.
Sincerely,
Mr. and Mrs. B – loibacks

 

The random reader should know that I am now addressing the finest English teacher on the planet, and a truly magnificent woman known to thousands as Mrs. B. Apparently, she is now a principal. Holy C-!

Mrs. B was (is) one of those rare educators that make you wonder what would have become of you if good luck and blind fate had not conspired to plop you into her particular classroom. In my opinion, all complaints against public education would be silenced, if every high school student had the opportunity to learn from a teacher like Mrs. B.

I am both flattered and horrified, to know that you're watching. My folks send their best.

Mike

PS You won't remember this, but at the end of that essay, you wrote the following...

"Well Mike, what's it going to be? The next Dan Rather, or the next J.D. Salinger? Pick one, and get busy."

Clearly, I went for something in between...

PPS. Five extra points if you can find the spelling mistake...

Manners and respect has always meant a lot to me, that’s the way I was raised and it is the way I raise my son. Have I ever cursed? Yes I have, have men ever cursed around me yes and I have no problem letting them know that it isn’t acceptable around me. It depends on the situation and where I am.

Mike, I know you sometimes curse on the show but you seem like a respectful person. Opening doors or standing when a woman approaches makes (some) women feel good as well. How do you feel about manners? -- Susie

Hi Susie,

It's funny this came up at a dinner in LA. There were six of us dining in a nice restaurant - a business meeting of sorts. I didn't know anyone personally, four men, two women.

After the appetizer, one of the ladies excused herself. When she stood, I stood. The men looked confused, as did the woman leaving. When she returned, I stood again, and she said, "Really, you don't need to do that."

"I know," I replied.
"Then why do you do it," asked her husband.
"To make you look bad," I said.

We all chuckled, and he said, "Mission accomplished." Then we discussed the sorry state of a world where everyone was treated exactly the same way, and agreed that "equality," taken to the extreme, was one of those things to be wary of. The rest of the conversation was not memorable.

Before dessert though, the other woman excused herself. All the men stood. Go figure.

Mike

My 7-year-old son loves your show; my daughter and I watch it too. Wyatt (my son) especially loves the sewer and poop episodes. He would love for you to tell him about the sewer. We think you’re great Mike!  lynette&wyatt

Hey Wyatt,

Your Mom tells me you enjoy the sewer. I think that's great. The sewer is an interesting place, full of many fascinating things. If you ever find yourself inside of one, you may want to heed the following advice.

1. Keep your mouth closed. You might be tempted to talk, but don't. The things inside of a sewer tend to fly around, and there is nothing down there that you want in your mouth. Trust me on this poo tastes bad. Very bad.

2. Keep your eyes open. When you are in the sewer, you are not alone. Roaches and rats love the sewer, and love visitors. They will try and crawl over you when you’re down there. That's how they say "hello." Try not to encourage this behavior. Even though roaches and rats are cute and friendly, they are all covered in other people’s poo and pee, and should be avoided.

3. Move slowly. The sewer is very slippery. If you're not very careful, you'll fall. Falling face first into other people’s poo is always bad, and should be avoided.

4. Drink lots of water before entering a sewer. Sewers are very hot places, and you will sweat a lot when you’re inside of one. This could cause dehydration, which could lead to passing out and falling down face first into other people’s poo, which as we've discussed, is always bad, and should be avoided.

5. Don't use the sewer as a sewer. If you spend a lot of time in the sewer, and drink a lot of water before entering, you might find that you have to go pee while you're down there. You might then logically conclude that it would be OK to pee right there in the sewer, since that's where the pee winds up anyway. That would be a mistake. For some reason, professional sewer workers frown on the practice, and consider it to be a breach of etiquette.

That's it. Have fun down there, but be careful. Study hard. Listen to your Mom. Wash your hands often.

Mike

Dear Mike,

What in the world possessed you to jump into a frenzy of animals whose teeth are longer than your hand with a can of repellent that you HOPED would work? Then you follow that with getting bitten on purpose to test a shark suit!

Mike, no show is worth you risking your life. Nothing is worth that. I know we only go around once and should experience all that we can, but who decided that having you do what you did would make for a good show?

I'm sorry if I am sounding preachy or like I'm your mother or your girlfriend. I just wanted to express my displeasure at what I feel was an unnecessary risk for you.

Thanks for reading.
Hugs,
Julie

I appreciate your concern, and you may have a point. All risk is relative - to people, situations, and circumstances. We are all surrounded by risk, every moment of every day. Most risk we take for granted - car accidents, sugar consumption, booze - whatever, we live with and manage risk by getting used to it and then largely forgetting about it. It's only when we're confronted by something outside our comfort zone that the risk becomes magnified. Something like a shark.

Risk management is a reality of life, and a big part of Dirty Jobs. When is risk irresponsible? When is risk unnecessary?

Those are personal questions, and opinions will always vary. But my job on the show is to assume the risk of the job at hand. As long as the job is genuine, and the workers are experienced, I'm obliged to try the task. Granted, I'm not always enthusiastic, but dirty jobs come with all kinds of unmitigated risk, and if I said "no" to the jobs that made me frightened or uneasy, there would simply be no show.

You're right - the program is less important than my health, and sharks are dangerous. But you should know that no one forces me to do anything on this show. The decision is always mine. Additionally, I am not a stunt junkie. I don't enjoy taking unnecessary risk. And I promise, Dirty Jobs will not turn into Fear Factor. In this case, like all cases, I analyzed the risk as objectively as I could before jumping in. I weighed all the factors, and made a decision to do it - once. That's the difference between the people we profile and me. Jeremiah Sullivan, the shark wrangler, has been bitten multiple times since I saw him last, by multiple sharks. It's part of the job he does everyday, and the kind of risk he lives with. I was glad to see a slice of his world. And I was gladder still to leave it.

Thanks again for your concern,

Mike

Dirty Jobs: Jobs That Bite & Jobs That Bite Harder DVD 

Video: Dirty Jobs: Shark Suit

(Originally posted in the Dirty Jobs Mud Room 7/19/08)

Mike,

I'm not sure I fully understand what you are doing but I am hoping that you will shine the light on it soon. I do know that what you have done for the common man or woman thus far has been Awesome. Its nice to portray the workingman, they deserve it. After all, where would we be with out them?

Mandy

Hi Mandy, that makes two of us.

Let me tell you what I know for sure. Dirty Jobs has survived far beyond its anticipated shelf life. It's still on today because the viewers of the show have had an actual impact on what the show looks like. If I've learned anything these last few years, it's not to plan too far ahead. So, if mikeroweWORKS, works, it will be because it stays flexible enough to evolve into something that people think is worthwhile.

As for what the site will actually do, I'm not entirely sure yet. Its basic purpose will be to call attention to some of the problems we've kicked around. I suppose there are a variety of ways to do that. They'll likely be a non-profit element, and a place for big companies to weigh in with solutions and ideas that might have an impact. There might be a place for chat. There might be a basic functionality that helps specific types of job searches. There might be video and entertainment. It might be big, and it might be modest. We'll see. One's things for sure though - it'll start small. Very small.

"I do know that what you have done for the common man or woman thus far has been Awesome. Its nice to portray the workingman, they deserve it. After all, where would we be with out them?"

Well Mandy, I think we would be exactly nowhere.

Mike

Visit mikeroweWORKS

Mike,

I am in good shape, but want to know EXACTLY what you do to look like you do. All modesty aside, please tell me what your secret is.

Thanks,
Ron

Mike maintains the illusion of fitness - watch his "Burpees" workout!

It's called a prison workout. It's named thusly because it can be carried out in a cell, or in my case, in a cheap hotel room.

Began standing. Quickly drop to a squatting position, and then kick your legs back and assume a push-up position. Do one push-up, quickly and smoothly. In a fluid motion, pull your legs forward into a squatting position, and leap straight into the air. Land squarely on both feet. Repeat the entire motion. Move as fast as you can without losing control or balance. Do 10 reps, and rest 30 seconds. Then do 9, and rest another 30 seconds. Then 8,then 7, then 6, all the way to one. Always do descending sets. Never rest more than 30 seconds between sets. If its too easy, (it wont be), start higher. If you vomit, start lower.

Do 3 complete sets before breakfast.

Mike

Mike,
How much of your success, in your opinion, is based on talent and how much is based on ability?
Allison -- ajsgrant

 

 

In my dictionary, each of these words is used as a synonym for the other, so I'm not quite sure how to answer.

I've always viewed talent as more of a "gift", and "ability" more of a skill that one learns and cultivates from scratch. (Mozart playing the piano at 4 = talent. Me, learning to play Happy Birthday after two years of study = Ability, and not much of it.)

Given that distinction, I'd say I'm more "able" than "talented", but we're on the head of a pin here, because success in television requires very little of either.

Truth is, I'm lucky, persistent, mildly capable, patient, and moderately ambitious. If you're in the television business, and possess those qualities - especially luck - you are qualified for success.

Mike

I know that you have said that you do not believe in anything supernatural, UFO's Bigfoot, the Boogey Man, etc.  If you did come face to face with a Bigfoot, how do you think you might react? And, second part, would you tell anyone what you saw? -- clump

  

If I came face to face with a Bigfoot, I would bolt toward him with extreme prejudice, screaming loudly, doing my level best to tackle and throw him to the ground. I would then go about the process of attempting to remove the creature’s head, secure in the knowledge that I was wrestling with a regular mortal man inside a Bigfoot Suit. Having removed his costume head, I would then insist on pictures, along with a signed admission and videotaped confession by the perpetrator of his intent to defraud the general populace of their time and/or money by advancing another weird fiction. Then, armed with such irrefutable evidence, I would corner my dear friend Simon, who still believes that crop circles were created by aliens, and show him yet another example of mans endless capacity for mendacity and fraud. It would be of course, a total waste of time, as Simon has built his entire belief structure around a world with ESP, alien abduction, haunted houses, astral projection, and reincarnation, and is now so hopelessly enamored of things that go bump in the night I fear there is no hope left for him.

Mike

Mike,

After seeing the episode (Baseball Groundskeeper) from the Bowie Baysox Game and finding out your parents were there, I couldn’t help but wonder their thoughts on your affect on viewers, particularly the young impressionable ones like myself.
Also what was the TV rules in the Rowe house while growing up and what did YOU watch as the years went by. Was there anything that everyone watched and was there any programming that influenced you? --   spock

My parents are largely baffled by the reaction of fans. Neither one is a shrinking violet, but both come from another generation and a more reserved background, and would never think of approaching a "personality" for an autograph or picture.

My father is still appalled that Discovery actually gave me my own show, and is still trying to process the very notion that strangers might go out of their way to watch it. At the game, Dad was confronted with the reality that such people not only watch, but might also appear in person, for the specific purpose of meeting his son. It is simply too much for him to digest. He sat there in the stands with my Mom, listening to hundreds of grown men and women say nice things about me, and watched as fans of the show shook my hand and said thanks. "Who was that guy?" he would then ask me, or, "Where do you know her from?" On some level, he still believes the only people who watch the show are old friends and acquaintances. He views the whole thing with an amusing mix of pride, confusion, and suspicion.

The kids however, were a bigger surprise. There were hundreds at the game, all big fans of the show, and all determined to get a photo/autograph. They made signs and shirts. Some showed up with dirty faces, on purpose. Really, it was pandemonium. After seeing the disappointment on an 8-year olds face, who had tried but failed to get my attention, my Mother - God love her - walked over to me, interrupting a shot, and pointed out to me the potential long term damage of smashing the hopes of a young boy with a simple dream. Mothers are like that. Anyway, lots of people lingered after the game, and after the last roster was signed, it was after midnight.

My parents had fun, and I did too, surreal is a good description. To have all this unfold in one's hometown is especially weird. I don't know about "full circle," but going home always has a sense of comfort and displacement that makes me think T. Wolfe might have had it right. Still, it's always fun to visit.

As for TV growing up, there wasn't much of it. My Dad would happily turn the TV off in the middle of a show if he deemed it was time for bed. Or, if there was a book or story he thought was more interesting than whatever my brothers and I were watching, he would stand in front of the TV and begin reading to us - a habit he has yet to abandon. The shows I think influenced me most were Mary Tyler Moore, The Carol Burnett Show, Laugh-In, and The Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson.

Mike

What is the line that divides these two? Are there any contrivances related to one more than the other? To me Non-Fiction describes best that which is not scripted. It mirrors the genre of Non-Fiction literature showing a glimpse of someone’s real-life experience. May even have a more educational aspect to it.

Reality Television is a very misused term. Shows like "Survivor" or "The Amazing Race" are all contrived to be a slightly scripted plays using non-professionals. Most reality shows eventually come across as cruel to the participants. Some are more game show like than others. Shows like "The Real World" just keeps pushing the buttons the producers know are there until someone cracks and voila, instant drama by way of the barely hidden neurosis they made sure was there. -- bluechild

 

  

The reason that so much television ultimately disappoints - in my opinion - has less to do with actual content, and more to do with expectations and inconsistent claims. Being offended by the content in South Park for instance, is a very different matter than being offended by misinformation on CNN. (For the record I am not offended by either one.) And being confused that Dog the Bounty Hunter airs on a network called Arts & Entertainment is perfectly understandable. (For the record, that does confuse me.)

ALL shows make some sort of claim. When that promise or claim conflicts with the actual content delivered, expectations are not met, and people get turned off. (How annoying is it when a sitcom takes a "very special" serious turn. And how many people gripe when Dirty Jobs isn't "dirty" enough?) This happens all the time in every genre, but never more than right now.

Survivor is often referred to as a reality show. It isn't. Neither is The Amazing Race, or The Apprentice, or The Bachelor. These are game shows, complete with contests and prizes. Watching them in that mindset won't make them any better or worse - but it might change your expectation of what's really going on. The label is not only misleading - it's the complete opposite, game vs. real. The blurring is intentional, and we accept the change with barely a second thought. Kind of incredible, when you think about it.

The Real World is a "reality" program, but only in so much as the category exists in the first place. (Can anything that undergoes an editing process be "real"? Of course not.) All content, regardless of motive, becomes forever biased the moment an editor trims for length.

For my money, accepting anything on television as "real" just because someone claims it to be so, is no different than going to a magic show and believing everything you see because the magician said it was "magic." Why is it that we expect more from television programs and personalities than we do a very good magician, or a very good illusion? Why are our expectations so high, when the medium gives us so many reasons to distrust it out of hand?

Non-fiction is another interesting turn-of-phrase. So is "documentary." Like "reality," these labels suggest in many people's mind a certain commitment to accuracy. But what does that mean without context? Non-fiction programs often apply to an individual’s point-of-view or personal belief. As do docs.

Last year, twice as many people died from Ostriches as Sharks. And yet, most people believe Sharks are more dangerous than Ostriches. Ocean of Fear was a true story. But did showing that "truth" ultimately perpetuate a misconception about sharks? If so, does that make Shark Week less non-fictional and more Reality? More Documentary? Beats me. I'm just waiting for Ostrich Week.

In general, I think it's wise to look at all the invented categories that claim to be something other than pure, unadulterated entertainment, and think about what you're being asked to accept. It seems to me that terms like Documentary, Non-fiction, Reality, and most of all, News - are all labels designed to encourage you to equate a finished product with "The Truth." Credibility after all, is terribly important to producers, talent, advertisers, and networks. In my business, credibility is currency. And yet, if "The Truth," could exist consistently on television, wouldn't somebody claim that category their own and start programming for it?

Mike

Hi Mike,

I went to a local vendor the other day and one of the ladies there says to me, "you know, we're always busy when you come by. You seem to attract other people here when you come."

I was flattered she felt that way, and then started to think about it. And I've noticed that some times, when I go some place that I'm the only one there, then, I'll turn around, and the place is packed! It's almost as if I've "drawn" these other people there.

Mike, do you ever find that this happens to you? That you'll be the only one in a store, meander a bit, and suddenly there are several others there with you?

I'm just curious. -- shobelle

 

Before I worked in television, I was often stopped by people who thought they knew me from this place or that. Apparently, I have "one of those faces." Now, it's a completely different story.

Walking through an airport is always interesting. Because most people already feel a little displaced when traveling, things are out of context, and they are more prone to be befuddled when they see someone they recognize. (Unless you’re a professional watcher.) The reactions are fun to watch. On an average walk, from security to the gate, I would say I'm "visibly noticed" every few seconds, at one level or another. I would guess that maybe half of those who recognize me know me specifically by name. I can say this with certainty because they often shout my name, usually frightening those around them. Others are simply dumbfounded, and tortured to varying degrees by their inability to place me. From time to time, I'll stop quickly and turn around. Invariably, two or three people will be caught looking, pointing, or scratching their heads. It's fun.

(One interesting thing I’ve noticed is the mistaken belief that people don’t think I notice them noticing me. Like many others, I’m a watcher, and a big fan of human behavior. I miss a lot, but I notice plenty, and I’m continually surprised at how often people think they’re being subtle when they are anything but. It’s made me wonder if I’m more obvious than I thought…)

In airports, I walk fast, and look straight ahead. I don't avoid encounters, but find that stopping in a public place to chat or sign an autograph can create a small scene, and that can get a little awkward, especially when people are running for a flight. The main problem for me in situations like that is to avoid seeming standoffish, which is hard to do when you're being standoffish. Sometimes, I'll pretend to talk on the phone, but you'd be surprised how often that doesn't work, and how silly it makes you feel. ("Yeah Frank, go ahead and sell that stock, and be sure to ask Jack to check on that thing in Dallas…you bet…uh huh…right…Ok then, let’s do that…)

A far different dynamic is on the plane itself. Like an elevator, or any confined space, the rules are different on a plane. Most people are more hesitant to say anything because they realize that I am essentially trapped. So they smile, or nod, or speak in hushed tones as they walk by. Some however, are immune to the rules of confined space, and act no differently than they would in a park or mall or baseball stadium. I’ve seen people literally stop in the aisles to discuss with me the details of a particular job, while dozens of passengers are held up trying to board. That makes me feel bad for the other passengers. Encouraging the conversation makes the situation worse. Cutting it short makes me look arrogant. What can you do? Last month, on a flight to Texas, a woman literally woke me up to ask if snake bites really hurt.

Most people, I'm glad to say, find me approachable, and talk to me as if I am the same guy they see on the show, which of course I am, for better and worse. This is ultimately gratifying, and well worth whatever small inconveniences come from having a certain notoriety. It's part of the bargain, and not worth complaining about.

Mike

Mike
You don't seem to have an ounce of pretentiousness in you. I'm curious how someone like you with 6 years of schooling came to appreciate and respect the people that do the less glamorous jobs. Were you knocked out of your ivory tower, or did your parents chain you to the ground and raise you to appreciate everyone's struggle?


Seems like a simple point these days, but it's shocking how many people still think that schooling has anything to do with wisdom, knowledge or value to society.
What's your opinion? -- Meech

 

 Hi Meech,

My opinion is that, in general, a college experience will make you a much richer person. A college degree however, will not. As you suggest, the pursuit of knowledge is very different than the pursuit of accomplishment, and a degree can only speak to the latter.

We tell our kids that a college degree will elevate them above others. It won’t. We tell ourselves that a degree makes us more credible than we were before receiving it. It doesn't. A sheepskin has no more significance than that which you assign to it, and probably a good deal less. Degrees are trophies, to be hung on the wall and admired, usually by the one who received it. Like the head of a dead deer, they stare back at us from above the mantle, leaving others to wonder about the rest of the animal. Fancy papers and severed heads tell us nothing of real life or real understanding - only about money and ego.

I missed my graduation in favor of a Pink Floyd concert at Madison Square Garden. My actual degree was sent to my parent’s house, and opened by my Dad. I remember the message he left me. "Hey Mike, you got something from the University. It looks like a receipt..."

Mike

Mike, I know the program is called Dirty Jobs. But boy there are times when that is an understatement. You guys must get the oddest looks when you come back to your hotel. Right? I mean, most of the time that is not the kind of stuff you can merely shake or knock off with a spray from someone's garden hose. There has got to be a lot of strange funny stories about you and your crew's effect on passersby. At times you become almost unrecognizable. Completely immersing yourself in your quests' jobs. I'm sure to their appreciation. It is to the audience's too. – gayle

 

Gayle,

There have been many double takes thrown my way by more than a few strangers. My favorite occurred in a hotel somewhere in Missouri. I had just returned from my day at Struemph Charcoal, and I looked like a hybrid version of PigPen and Al Jolson in The Jazz Singer. I was black with charcoal dust from top to bottom, and clouds of soot billowed around me with every step.

On the way to my room, I passed the maid station. The door was open, and two women were folding sheets in front of several washers and dryers. The conversation went like this.

Me:  Evening ladies.

Maid #1: Lord have mercy!

Maid #2: Aaagghhh!

Me:  Don’t be alarmed madam. I’m harmless. But I wonder if I might get an extra towel or two?

Maid #2: (clutching chest) Aaagghhh!

Maid #1:  Child, you’ll be needing more than towels. You’ll be needing some sort a miracle! What’s you been into?

Me: Bad things, ma’am. Very bad things.

Maid: #1 (peering closer) Seriously child…you get stuck in a chimney? What’s all over you?

Me: Nothing that won’t come off with some hot soap and water. I hope. About those towels?

Maid #2: (peering closer, still clutching bosom) My Lawd. What you look like under all that dirt?

Me: Nothin’ special, ma’am. In fact, I’m starting to forget. And if I don’t get to the shower soon, it’s liable to become permanent.

Maid #1: (handing me a stack of towels) Well now, that might not be so bad…

Maid #2: (laughing) Yes, my goodness. You look fine in black. Gave me a start at first, but it’s growin’ on me.

Me: (backing away) Yes, well…I’m an acquired taste.

Maid #1: You don’t want a shower child. You want a bath…a long, hot soak...

Maid #2: You need help washin’ your back?

Maid #1: You in room 217, right?

Me: Aaagghhh!

Maids (laughing, high fiveing)

Mike

Doomed to Fail but Gaining an Appreciation for the Job

Maybe it’s just me Mike but don’t you think you stick out like a sore thumb around real working Americans? Do you think you take an unprofessional approach in presenting America's "dirty jobs"? Remember you're a host and not a stand up comedian. - Edhill

 

Hi Ed,

Thanks for your comments, and no, it's not just you. I've been annoying viewers for years in one way or another, usually bureaucrats and people in positions of upper management.

As for sticking out like a sore thumb among real working Americans, you are correct again. I am both under-qualified and untrained to do these jobs. That should be readily apparent.

Regarding my professionalism, I would prefer "non" vs, "un." But either way, I take your point, and happily concede that you are correct. I could be much more reverential and earnest with the people I meet, and I could easily talk in glowing terms about their tireless contribution to polite society. Maybe I should. In truth, I find myself in awe of the men and women I meet on this gig, and I am tempted to sing their praises in the fashion you describe.

But frankly, those kinds of professional "tributes" always strike me as a little too precious. (The dramatic music, the voice-of-god-narrator, the ever-respectful host, the quiet dignity of the "American Worker.") Besides, it's all been done. In my opinion, the best way to honor people with difficult jobs is to send in an untrained human guinea pig, and watch him try to keep up. Naturally, the guinea pig is doomed to fail, and in that failing, I hope the viewer will gain an appreciation for the difficulty of the job at hand and the person actually doing it.

As for my personality and point of view, what can I say? Opinions vary. I treat the camera as if it were a good friend, and feel comfortable saying out loud any fool thing that pops into my head. If I had my druthers, you would find me charming and fun to watch, but the truth is, it's not terribly important that you like me. What's important is that you like the people I meet.

Having said all that, I value your comments, with the exception of the last sentence. A more accurate admonishment would have read, "Remember, you are not a host, OR a standup comedian."

Thanks,
Mike

1) What sort of qualities do you look for in a woman you date or in women you admire?
Strong, Strong, steady pulse. A healthy appetite. A propensity to laugh at inappropriate times.

2) When you travel, do you find that you get hit on by many of the women you meet?
Yes.

3) Would you say you're flirtatious?
I would not say that.

4) What's your favorite female literary character of all time and why?
Good one. I like Dulcinea, Lady Chatterly, Cora from The Postman Always Rings Twice, Scout Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird, Mrs. Danvers from Rebecca, Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair, and Becky Thatcher from Huck Finn. Can't pick one.

5) How would you rate your performance in the bed on a scale from 1-10?
With great bias.

6) Have you ever been "in love"?
Sure.

7) What would you say your weaknesses are?
Subtle self-sabotage, in all areas. A suspicion of anything too easy. Malaise.

8) Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Sausalito.

9) If you could pick any three films that represent American culture, which films would you choose?
Joe Dirty, Dirty Harry, Dirty Dozen.

10) Would you say that you've changed significantly in the past ten years, or as a result of your work on Dirty Jobs?
Yes. The last years have changed me a great deal.

11) Boxers, briefs or boxer-briefs?
Whatever's available.

12) What would you do for a living if you could no longer be in entertainment?
I'd write, though I'd hope that would turn out to be entertaining.

13) What is your favorite soda pop?
Never cared for it.

14) What kind of soap do you use?
Lava.

15) Favorite board game?
Battleship

16) Vacation dream spot?
I don't dream anymore.

17) Favorite animal?
Turtle.

18) Favorite color?
Burnt Umber.

19) If you could be any animal what animal would you be?
A burnt umber tortoise.

20) Age in which you wish to retire?
31

21) Favorite desert/candy/sweets, whatever the heck you call it?
Two homemade Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies, on either side of some homemade Rocky Road Ice Cream.

22) What's the most amount of baths/shower do you take in one day?
Two

23) Brings me to ask do you take showers or bathes?
Yes.

24) What is your favorite word?
Five

25) What was the name of your first pet?
Shim, a great mutt, couldn't tell if it was male or female.

26) Which do you prefer, paper or plastic?
Paper on the inside, plastic on the outside.

27) Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes?
Yes.

28) Diaper service or disposables (there has to be at least one poo related question)?
Depends.

29) Favorite Cartoon?
Tom & Jerry.

30) What is the ultimate sport to watch: football, basketball, baseball or sumo wrestling?
As Hemingway said the only sports are racecar driving, mountain climbing, and bullfighting. All the others are games.

-- Mike

...Being Satisfied at NOT getting everything you want.

Hi Mike,

I want to know, when you are a "Brand”, a one name entity-"MIKE" like "Oprah"or "Cher", and perhaps have your "book deals"and your boat, and Barsky has bought "knees"and Doug and the guys have what they want, and you have seen to everyone else's needs, will you be happy?
Will you get up every morning with a smile and go to bed every night with a giggle or is that one thing still going to be missing -just slightly out of reach?

Mike will you finally truly be happy?

...Isn't that what really matters in the long run anyway?


Angie J.K. -- pingu_is_my_hero

Hi Angie

You ask, "I want to know, when you are a "Brand," a one name entity- "MIKE" like "Oprah" or "Cher", and perhaps have your "book deals” and your boat, and Barsky has bought "knees” and Doug and the guys have what they want, and you have seen to everyone else's needs, will you be happy."

I hope so. But if the answer is "yes," it won't because I'm unhappy now. Nor will it have anything to do with the things you mention. (With the possible exception of Barsky's knees.) Most of what has come my way has had very little to do with my ambition, and even less to do with the pursuit of happiness.

"Will you get up every morning with a smile and go to bed every night with a giggle..."

I hope so. But to be clear, I'm content with the amount of smiling and giggling currently in my life. I always have been.

"...Or is that one thing still going to be missing -just slightly out of reach?"

Well, I certainly hope some things remain out of reach. I can't imagine anything less satisfying than getting everything I want.

"Mike, will you finally truly be happy? Isn't that what really matters in the long run anyway?

Of course not, Angie. Happiness is a lousy and dangerous goal. It's a great symptom, but it's too fleeting to be sought after in and of itself. Doing only that, which makes you happy, is a lot like following your passion at every turn. It's childish. (Pick up a tabloid, and read all about the fabulous people, chasing happiness and following their passion.)

The chronically unhappy break my heart.
The perpetually satisfied turn my stomach.

To often, the desire to be happy drives people to act selfishly, take shortcuts, and cheat. When Happiness becomes The Goal, it leads to nonsensical advice like "If It Feels Good, Do It! and "Work Smart, Not Hard!" Such "wisdom" will do more to destroy happiness than achieve it, in my opinion.

I try and make choices that feel smart and right. Those choices don't always lead to immediate happiness, but choosing otherwise will guarantee misery. That much I know for certain. I like challenges, and feel suspicious of anything that comes too easily. It's not that I crave adversity; it's just that without it, there can be no tension. And with no tension, there can be no release.

And I do enjoy a good release.

To be fully understood, the concept of "right" needs an awareness of "left." "Up" needs "down." "Good" needs "Bad." To be fully appreciated, "Clean," needs "Dirty." And to be fully enjoyed, "Happiness" is easiest to digest when served with some kind of struggle. Happiness shouldn't be a reward. It should be a part of the job. Happily for me, it is.

Mike

...Less is More

Mike,

I just wanted to tell you that I think you are probably one of the most down to earth people I have ever seen on T.V. You have got to have one of the coolest personalities, and I think you would have to, to be able to do the jobs that you do, and still walk away with a smile on your face. It's amazing that you can be as happy if not a bit sarcastic while trying to trap crawfish in mud that hurts....or having your boot stuck in bat poop. It's the best reality type of TV show that I have ever seen, and I give you major credit for doing the things that you do...and I hope that your show lasts!! -- lovenlife05

~Thank you very much.

In my own biased and meaningless opinion, TV is at its best when it captures moments that are genuinely honest and uncontrived. Those are the moments you mention, and the reason I think DJ has had an audience. However, it's really, really, really hard to find those moments, because TV production, as a rule, is one big contrivance. Most producers over-produce. Most directors over-direct. Most talent over-act. Most writers over-write. Most editors over-cut. We who make TV are our own worst enemy, because we too often attempt to create that which can really only be captured. It's funny, but the best moments in television seem to happen when people do less, step back, and let the action happen.

I am very fortunate to work on a show that subscribes to that theory.

Happy New Year
Mike

Mike on New Year resolutions ~ "I've always maintained that resolutions should be made, and broken, whenever necessary."