Dirty Laundry

Our New Story

2014-04-02T07:33:00.002-07:00

For those of you I've kept waiting, I'm so sorry! I think once you hear the whole story, you will understand. My intention was to have this written before we left on the long trip that would be the beginning of our new story. However, the trip was a logistical nightmare and so that didn't happen. Then, the whirlwind trip started and once it started, there was no stopping it.

Without further delay.... here you go... OUR NEW STORY.

Sometimes life is better viewed in reverse. What does that mean? That means sometimes in the midst of living life, it doesn't make any sense at all. Like... at all... at all! It doesn't make any sense... until you look back.

In the late fall of 2011, my husband was asked to run for Ohio State Senate. The senator in our district, wouldn't sign the Heartbeat Bill. That's a bill that says once the heartbeat of a baby is detected, an abortion can no longer be performed. A group of people asked him to act like he was running in hopes that once the senator got wind of it, she would sign the bill. Well, long story short, she wouldn't sign. My husband announced he was running, and just like that we were thrust into the nasty world of politics. He ran a 6 week campaign with $4000 that was given to him along the way (we couldn't ask for money to run a campaign because we live on support... meaning people give to our ministry so we can live.) So we ran using social media and very, very little money. Some have said she used about $250,000. In the end, Paul got 32% of the vote. Pretty good for having little time, little experience and little money!

When it was over, to be honest, I wasn't sad he lost. I had no desire to live that life, HOWEVER, I thought it was so weird he lost. See, we firmly believe God asked us to run that political race; to fight for those who couldn't fight for themselves, to fight for the unborn, and so we were willing. The confusing part was... if we were certain, God asked us to do it... and we were certain... why didn't we win? I was so puzzled.

Then we got asked to move and that was an altogether different and awful whirlwind and I ended up 20 hours away from everything I have ever known.

We weren't in our new location for very long when Paul ran across an article about how some kid and a van was changing the face of the pro life movement. He read it and was so impressed that he decided to send them an encouraging email. However, the email wouldn't go through. He looked over the site some more and realized that this guy wasn't too far from us (like, a mile away). So, he called him. They had lunch the next day and Paul got to hear all about his organization called Save the Storks.

Fast forward almost a year, hundreds of conversations, and lots of prayer and we have joined the team!

Were we unhappy with the job we moved to take? Absolutely not!!! But joining the Save the Storks team just connected all the dots for us. It seemed The Lord had been tilling the soil with what seemed like a random run for office 2 years ago. We believe God used this to get us looking and thinking in the pro life direction. We talked a great talk 2 years ago about fighting for the unborn and then it stopped there.

This is the Holocaust of our time. There have been 55 million abortions, 55 million lives ended. What is our family doing to stop it? What is our family doing to fight for life? Step away from the Bible and what God says about life for a second, even though I could never live without God's Word. Our country was built, established and I believe blessed by the Constitution. In it we are told we have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. THE RIGHT TO LIFE! Have we missed this?

So, our family is going to fight. But, we are going to do it in a totally unconventional way. Save the Storks takes Mercedes Sprinter Vans and turns them into mobile ultrasound units. These vans are then parked across the street from abortion clinics. Before our van arrives though, we contact the abortion clinic and let them know we are there. We want them to know that we are not going to protest or talk bad about them, or be mean to them. As a matter of fact, we are going to pray for them. Then we offer them a choice. And with the help of our board member, Abby Johnson, if any of them would like out of the abortion industry, we will write them a check for 3 months of their salary and help them find a new job. As of today, over 90 people have left... including a doctor.

Women that are walking into the abortion clinics are then offered a chance to see a free ultrasound of their baby. Once those women see life on the 3 flat screens around that van, a high majority of them chose life. But, they are not just choosing life for their baby, they are choosing life for themselves. That's why the organization is named Save the Storks. Research has proven and stories have been written about women who've chosen abortion in the past. They spend the rest of their lives in regret and turmoil. We don't want any woman to live like that. We want to save them from a life where the past haunts them.

Once a woman choses life, we connect them with people that can walk along beside them their entire pregnancy, and beyond. This gives them counsel, love and options.

And, like any good story, our story starts off with a bang. Wait until you hear about the trip we just took to pick up Stork van #6! (Not promising any timeline though. Although, I am promising to write more. I really miss writing!)

What Kind of Story is Your Family Living?

2014-03-13T20:17:00.002-07:00

How Jason Saved His Family

When I got back from Los Angeles, I got together with my friend Jason who has a thirteen-year-old daughter. He was feeling down because he and his wife had found pot hidden in their daughter's closet. She was dating a guy, too, a kid who smelled like smoke and only answered questions with single words: "Yeah." "No." "Whatever." and "Why?." And "Why?" was the answer Jason hated most. Have her home by ten, Jason would say. Why the guy would ask. Jason figured this guy was the reason his daughter was experimenting with drugs.

"You thinking about grounding her?" I asked. "Not allowing her to date him?"

"We've tried that. But it's gotten worse." Jason shook his head and fidgeted with his fingers on the table.

Then I said something that caught his attention. I said his daughter was living a terrible story.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

To be honest, I didn't know exactly what I meant. I probably wouldn't have said it if I hadn't just returned from the McKee seminar. But I told him about the stuff I'd learned, that the elements of a story involve a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. Even as I said this, I wasn't sure how it applied to his daughter.

"Go on," my friend said.

"I don't know, exactly, but she's just not living a very good story. She's caught up in a bad one." I said a lot of other things, and he kept asking questions. We must have talked for an hour or more, just about story, about how novels work and why some movies are meaningful and others simply aren't. I didn't think much of it. I just figured he was curious about movies.

A couple of months later I ran into Jason and asked about his daughter. "She's better," he said to me, smiling. And when I asked why, he told me his family was living a better story.

*** *** *** ***

The night after we talked, Jason couldn't sleep. He thought about the story his daughter was living and the role she was playing inside that story. He realized he hadn't provided a better role for his daughter. He hadn't mapped out a story for his family. And so his daughter had chosen another story, a story in which she was wanted, even if she was only being used. In the absence of a family story, she's chosen a story in which there was risk and adventure, rebellion and independence. "She's not a bad girl," my friend said. "She was just choosing the best story available to her."

I pictured his daughter flipping through the channels of life, as it were, stopping on a story that seemed most compelling at the moment, a story that offered her something, anything, because people can't live without a story, without a role to play.

"So how did you get her out of it?" I asked. And I couldn't believe what he told me next.

Jason decided to stop yelling at his daughter and, instead, created a better story to invite her into. He remembered that a story involves a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.

"I started researching some stuff on the Internet." Jason said, "and I came across an organization that builds orphanages around the world. And that sounded to me like a pretty good ambition, something maybe my family could try to do together. It sounded like a good story."

"Right," I said, trying to remember the elements of a story myself.

"So I called this organization," Jason continued. "and it takes about twenty-five thousand dollars to build one of these orphanages. And the truth is, we don't have the money. I mean we just took out a second mortgage. But I knew if we were going to tell a good story, it would have to involve risk."

"That's true," I said, remembering it from the seminar.

"So I went home and called a family meeting," my friend continued. "I didn't tell my wife first, which it turns out was a mistake. But I told them about this village and about the orphanage and all these terrible things that could happen if these kids don't get an orphanage. Then I told them I agreed to build it."

"You're kidding me," I said.

"No. I'm not. And my wife sat there looking at me like I'd lost my mind. And my daughter, her eyes were as big as melons and she wasn't happy. She knew this would mean she'd have to give up her allowance and who knows what else. They just sat there in silence. And, the longer they sat there, the more I wondered if I'd lost my mind too."

"I actually think you might have lost your mind," I said, feeling somewhat responsible.

"Well, maybe so," Jason said, looking away for a second with a smile. "But it's working out. I mean things are getting pretty good, Don."
Jason went on to explain that his wife and daughter went back to their separate rooms and neither of them talked to him. His wife was rightly upset that he hadn't mentioned anything to her. But that night while they were lying in bed, he explained the whole story about how they weren't taking any risks and weren't helping anybody and how their daughter was losing interest.
"The next day," he said, "Annie came to me while I was doing the dishes." He collected his words. "Things had just been tense for the last year, Don. I haven't told you everything. But my wife came to me and put her arms around me and leaned her face into the back of my neck and told me she was proud of me."
"You're kidding," I said.
"I'm not," my friend said. "Don, I hadn't heard Annie say anything like that in years. I told her I was sorry I didn't talk to her about it, that I just got excited. She said she forgave me but that it didn't matter. She said we had an orphanage to build, and that we were probably going to make bigger mistakes, but we would build it." My friend smiles as he remembered his wife's words.
"And then Rachel came into our bedroom, maybe a few days later, and asked if we could go to Mexico. Annie and I just sort of looked at her and didn't know what to say. So then Rachel crawled between us in bed like she did when she was little. She said she could talk about the orphanage on her web site and maybe people could help. She could post pictures. She wanted to go to Mexico to meet the kids and take pictures for her Web Site."
"That's incredible," I said.
"You know what else, man?" Jason said, "She broke up with her boyfriend last week. She had his picture on her dresser and took it down and told he said she was too fat. Can you believe that? What a jerk."
"A jerk," I agreed.
"But that's done now," Jason said, shaking his head. "No girl who plays the role of a hero dates a guy who uses her. She knows who she is. She just forgot for a little while."

This was Chapter 9 of Donald Miller's Book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

Our family is getting ready to live a new story. Details coming in 7 days. One week from today people.
Stay tuned.

Jackson Hits Double Digits

2013-05-02T19:06:00.001-07:00

Jackson Paul Richard Isaacs was born May 2, 2003 at 11:28am. While he was in utero, I knew he was going to be busy. But, day 4 of his life completely confirmed that. Most of you won't believe this, if someone else told the same story I doubt I would believe them, but, it's true nonetheless. The 4th Day of his life, I took him to get his picture taken. While we were trying to get the picture you see below, he was pushing himself forward with his toes. Had we left him to his own devises, he would have pushed himself off the table. At... 4... days... old.

The ninth year of his life would prove to be no less entertaining or nerve-wracking. When we were still living in Ohio, he came running up the stairs yelling my name. Practically out of breath, he says, "I wanted to try a back handspring so I stood up and prayed, 'God, don't let me kill myself, and I DID IT!! I CAN DO A BACK HANDSPRING!' Sure enough, I followed him down to the carpeted floor to see one of the most beautiful back handsprings I've ever seen from someone with no training.

The adventure didn't stop there. This year he has swam in the Pacific Ocean, surfed on the Atlantic Ocean, completed a high ropes course, zip lined, hiked several mountains, learned to fly fish... and made friends with the old men at the YMCA.

What?! How does that last thing fit in there? I don't know. This is what I do know.

We took Jackson out of school in January to homeschool him (L O N G... S T O R Y). So, almost every day we go to the YMCA. I take some kind of fitness class and Jackson plays. At least that's what I thought he did. I leave him at the big open gym at the Y where he can shoot baskets or kick the soccer ball or run around with all the other kids who also are homeschooled. When I come out of my class after an hour, he's waiting for me in the lobby. In the lobby, there's chairs and tables and coffee. It might be the greatest YMCA.

As we are leaving one day, he starts saying bye to all these old men. "Bye Jim! See you Ted! Have a good day Fred! See you tomorrow Tom!" I stopped and looked at him. I wish I could have a picture of my own face.

"What in the world?" I say as we walk out the front doors. "How do you know those men."

"Oh! They're my friends. I talk to them everyday!"

"What!?"

"Yeah... sometimes I go down and watch them play racquetball and we talk."

Hmmmm... so everyday.

"Oh... hey Ted! Your late today!"

OR

"See you tomorrow Bill!"

What? Where are the 9 and 10 year olds?

So, yesterday I finish my class. I'm pouring sweat, dead tired and starving. I go to the gym to get Jackson. I see his bag, his basketball shoes and his basketball... but no Jackson. So, I head down to the racquetball courts. I look through the glass into the room and there's my almost 10 year old... goggles on, racquet in hand, sweating and red faced, playing racquetball with a 70 year old man and a 50 year old woman. They walk over to the door, open it, "Hey I'm Jim." (Shakes my hand) The woman comes over, "Hi! I'm Michelle." (Shakes my hand) and then Jim looks at me and says, "You mind if we finish our game? He's really good!"

And, so I sit down on the big leather ottoman right outside court A and watch my son finish a game of racquetball ... for the next 20 MINUTES with a two much older people. And, I smile because that's my son and wherever he goes he wins the heart of people and I think how much I love him and how blessed I am and how... if he doesn't hurry up... I might start eating the ottoman.

I LOVE YOU BUDDY!!!!! Happy 10th Birthday!!!!

French Toast for Breakfast

Opening gifts

Sporting Rockies gear.... for we now reside in Colorado...in case I've never mentioned that

$1 Jimmy Johns subs for dinner. We are going on Saturday night in Denver after a trip to a trampoline park.

P.S. Cake pictures added later. It's only 8 in Colorado and he's at soccer and basketball practice.

Conditions on Moving to Colorado

2013-03-14T21:43:00.003-07:00

I said I would never move. I said I would never leave Ohio...as I sit typing... in my house... in COLORADO!!!

I also said, "If we move, I just want to have my own computer."

I had my own computer... for 30 days. Then somehow, we lost a computer. It was never taken out of the house. Therefore, one of two things happened. 1) It evaporated. Into thin air. OR 2) Someone came into my house and stole it.

I also said I would never homeschool again. I am homeschooling my 2 middle children.

(Note to self: I should never say what I will and will not do.)

So, if you wonder why I am not blogging, it is because one child does all her work on the computer for her schooling. By the time she's done, the other child comes home and then she hogs the computer for the rest of the night. Therefore, I can NEVER get on the computer.

SOOO... all the crazy things that have happened lately... Emme and Scarlett Fever, me slipping and cracking my head open and getting staples in it, going to Palm Springs, CA and peeing my pants in a parking lot, Shelby playing a "lovely lady" is Les Miserable at her High school, walking into my shower to find two large bones that my son found on a hike (why were they in the shower? You're guess is as good as mine)... and on and on and on... I don't get to write about.

Pray my computer reappears!

P.S. I'm never going to be a millionaire.

It was a Weird Weird Night

2013-01-15T12:56:00.002-08:00

Have you ever watched Kristen Wiig as the Target Lady? If not... you must! Here's the link: Go there now! http://www.hulu.com/watch/72441

Did you hear her say, "It was a weird, weird night?"

I'd like to bet my night was weirder!

Jackson started with a cough on Friday night and I could tell he was not feeling well at all. The rest of the weekend he went downhill. His color was bad. His energy level was WAY down! His cough was getting worse and by Sunday evening he had a fever. He hadn't been sleeping very well so I gave him some Motrin and put him on the floor in our room to sleep for the night.

I had only been asleep for about 2 hours when I felt someone tapping on my should. I turned to see Jackson wide awake. He whispered, "Come here mom. I have to show you something." I got up and followed him to the landing right outside my room. He stopped and I stopped. I waited a second and then I said, "What do you want buddy?"

His reply was a very frustrated, "Oh NEVER MIND!"

Then he went to his room, instead of back to my room. He crawled into his bed, rolled himself in a ball and hid his entire being under his quilt.

I thought, "Guess he wants to sleep in his own bed." So I headed back to my room. In the hall, I ran into Gracie who was completely wide awake. As a matter of fact, have you seen the owl from the Animal Crackers video who had 12 cups of coffee. (If not click here). She looked just like that owl. She said, "I haven't been to sleep yet!" She then quickly shut her door. It was 1:30am and I was so confused.

I later found out she was scared to death. She had walked into my room right before my incident with Jackson and she had her own incident with him. Apparently she was heading in my bathroom for something and when she walked into my room, Jackson was just standing there. She jumped 10 feet and then she asked him if he was ok. He yelled, "I'M FINE!!!" She said, "You don't look fine. You should probably wake up mom and then he yelled, "I'M FINE!!" again.

I was probably back in bed for about 20 minutes when I felt someone leaning over me. Then Jackson spoke. He said, "There were two giant needles." I said, "Are you having a dream about going to the dentist tomorrow?" He said, "No."

He went back to his little bed on my floor.

30 minutes later...he's back. He says, "Mom! When's it going to stop?"

I said, "When's what going to stop?"

"All the screaming and yelling" was his reply.

"I don't know buddy."

He laid back down.

Now, I'm starting to get a little freaked out. What in the world is wrong with him? Starring at the ceiling a couple of thoughts went through my head: 1) I'm taking him to the doctor in the morning. 2) I think his fever is higher than I thought. He must be hallucinating.

But, then I head down a really bad path. What if he has a mental disorder? What if he's going crazy? What if he's still acting like this in the morning? What if he walks out of the house? What is starts toward the mountains and runs into a mountain lion and forgets all the rules (click here for previous post). What if.... What if... What if....

A few minutes later, he's back. "Can you go to the bathroom with me? I'm really dizzy?

I hold him while he takes care of business and then lay him back on the floor.

Another 45 minutes of tossing and turning, I get myself to settle down and begin to drift off to sleep. Then... he's back. He crawls into bed with me and he says, "I get it!! When the giant meatball hits the brick wall... it turns into a chicken!"

That's it! I'm done!! I can not take this anymore! What in the world is wrong with him? It'd be one thing if he were doing all this with his eyes closed. But, he looks like he's never been asleep. And, he's acting like we are having a perfectly normal conversation.

I don't know if I slept the rest of the night.

I called the doctor as soon as it was 8am. When I was explaining all this to the lady on the phone, she says, "Are you sure you don't need to take him to the emergency room?"

I said, "No. I think we'll start with a regular doctor."

Turns out, after a thorough exam, he was diagnosed with a sinus infection and lots of pressure in the ears. She didn't seem alarmed by any of his behavior during the night! Shew! She did say that sinus infections are harder to treat here because of how dry it is so we were given a list of things to do in addition to the antibiotics.

I'm happy to report... he slept like a baby last night. And, so did I.

It was a weird, weird night.

Tradition.... Tradition!! (sing it like Fiddler on the Roof)

2012-12-11T13:01:00.001-08:00

We have a tradition every year around Christmas to take the kids to a movie at the nice theatre (not the dollar theatre) and to go to dinner at a nice restaurant (not just pick up a pizza).

We usually do this little tradition of ours closer to Christmas day, but since we've moved ACROSS THE COUNTRY (for crying out loud), we are having to change lots of things.

In the past, it was never an option to go to Denver because, HELLO... we lived in Ohio. So, how cool did it sound to say, "Hey, let's go to Denver for our annual dinner and movie family date?" For just a second we pretended we were really wealthy and we only went to fancy, far away places.

AND... how fun was it to wake up to this on our family outing day. We almost decided to stay around our house for our outing because they don't do much to the roads around here. (In case you've never heard me mention it, it's ALWAYS sunny here, so the snow doesn't stay around for long... so they don't treat the roads) Anyway, I'm SO GLAD we decided to make the drive.

On our way there, we had played an It's a Wonderful Life trivia game with the kids. They all have a pen and paper (except Emme) and they wrote down their answers (except Emme... she yelled answers that made no sense the entire game.) If you are fans of the movie and watch it every year like we do, you should play the game with your family. Here's the link:

http://grandtrivia.blogspot.com/2006/01/special-trivia-test-its-wonderful-life.html

The winner... well... they got to go to dinner and a movie. HAHA!

It was really fun and Shelby was the winner!

The pretending we had lots of money thing... it didn't last long. We went to a nice theatre but went to a matinee ($5). And, since everything about this year is different, we also didn't see the movie as a family. The girls saw a girly movie and the guys saw a guy movie.

After the movie, as part of our tradition, we always go to a mall. The malls we would go to in Ohio... they were fine. We never buy anything anyway, we just like to be out in the hustle and bustle. The malls in Denver though... they are a different story. I'm not a mall fan, but Denver is trying to change that. I have been to 3 in ol' Denver, Colorado and I'm a fan!

I loved EVERYTHING about the one we went to Saturday. It was the Park Meadow mall. I took a few pictures but they really don't do it justice.

The mall was made to feel like it was a big log cabin and it was beautifully decorated for Christmas.

I don't know why, but in the state of Colorado, I am intrigued... fascinated... obsessed with their signs.

And... just so you know...

We did it!! We refrained! We did not enter the water!! We were so proud of ourselves!

Still refraining!

The girls were so excited to see a Forever 21... although I don't know why. They were all told in advance we would not be making any purchases. They wanted me to take a picture of it though. So... I did... I just forgot to get the Forever 21 in the picture. Oops!

Just one of their many cool entrances. Again, the picture doesn't do it justice.

I was trying to take a picture of the Windows store. Windows... they are such copy cats! They totally tried to make their store look EXACTLY like the Apple store. They should know they'll never be as cool. Good try though!

Again, pictures don't do it justice but instead of a Food Court, they have a Dining Hall. All the restaurants look like stations like you'd see in a dining hall. And, if you look close in the picture below you can see there was a huge brick fireplace (fire on both) sides with a mantle and a wreath. It really gave the whole place a lodge feeling.

We conned some young guy into taking our family picture. We did make ONE purchase. I always buy the kids Christmas pajamas. I could not find any matching ones this year. But, here at this amazing mall, not only did the Disney Store have pajamas in all the sizes I needed, the were all half off!! WOOHOO!!!!

Huge St. Bernard tied to a pole just sitting there by himself. He was so good. Then all of a sudden he barked and we all about peed our pants. Haha!

Refraining from the water... again!

Loved all the lights and decorations.

Such a cute picture! Too bad it's so dark!

I wanted to eat at a place we had never eater before. I spotted what looked like a little Italian palace. It was called Maggiano's. That's where I decided we should all go. We went there all right. We went in, looked at the menu and walked right out. Too expensive!

The kids won. The wanted J Alexanders anyway. I know that sound expensive too, but not the way we do it. We get two chicken finger platters (not even on the menu anymore but they still have them) and one kids meal and that feeds us all.

It was such a fun day! What traditions do your kids look forward to every year??

Comments would be nice people!!!

Deck the House!

2012-12-06T20:17:00.001-08:00

First of all, if you have not read my last post about Emme... you must!

Next, I'm sorry I made it sound so serious. I always try to make catchy titles so people will want to read my blog. Maybe I should be worried (especially after tonight... you'll have to wait for the next post), but I actually thought it was hilarious. She's a spirited one. But, my fight is bigger than hers... I'm NOT going to stop talking about Jesus... ever! So there!

Anyway.... it was fun being in a new house this year and decorating. Thought you might like to see my cute little house all festive.

P.S. I realize... there are multiple pictures of the same room... I liked the different lighting.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM COLORADO!!

Please Please Pray for Emme

2012-11-29T08:56:00.000-08:00

My little Emme is in desperate need of prayer.

Yesterday she had gymnastics. As we were walking out of gymnastics, she initiated a conversation with my that started very sweet and innocent and quickly spiraled out of control.

"Mommy, why do babies have such small hands."

As I was holding her teeny hand across the parking lot, I answered, "Well, I don't really know. That's just the way God made them."

She replied with another question as I was getting her in her car seat, "Why do you always talk about God?"

Pulling away from my parking spot, I said, "Well, because I love Him and I want you to know about Him.

Another question from Emme, "Is Jesus in the car with us?

Now I am pulling onto the main road thinking about how in the world I can answer such a question. And, to be honest, she asks so many questions these days I find myself answering in the simplest way I can because one question so easily turns into 17 more questions.

So my response to her was, "Well... God is always with us so... in a way... I guess Jesus is in the car with us."

Nothing could have prepared me for her response. Thankfully, I wasn't near a mountain or I might have driven right off.

She said to me, "I just slapped Him in the face."

What?!?!?!? Let me repeat this for you. She asked me if Jesus was in the car with us and when I said he was she tells me she just slapped him across the face????? What is wrong with her?

I was seriously at a loss for words! I thought about chucking her out of the car and leaving her on the side of the road so as to spare my own life from the wrath that was surely about to be brought on me because she just assaulted the King of Kings AND because something so sick in me could hardly contain my laughter.

The only thing I could think of to say to her was, "That wasn't very nice."

Then she said, "I just want you to stop talking about Jesus."

I pulled over at the next gas station. I had to get out of the car and call her dad.

***Big sigh***

I am taking Emme to school early today. She's having lunch with the principal. She won an award for demonstrating Integrity and Fairness and was nominated to be a "Character Hero" at school.

WHAT?!?! Same child?!

Please pray for her... and us. She needs Jesus. Clearly.

Trick or Treat 2012

2012-11-13T20:34:00.000-08:00

Our first Trick or Treat night not in Ohio.

Weird.

The weather for our first Colorado Halloween... crazy nice! It was in the 70's during the day and it was very pleasant for our night out begging for candy. Good thing we invested in the camouflage S N O W S U I T!

I'm sure you are wondering... Jackson was dressed like Jase Robertson from Duck Dynasty. We are ALL obsessed with Duck Dynasty. It makes us happy happy happy. If you don't recognize that statement, you've never watched Duck Dynasty. And, if you've never watched Duck Dynasty, you are missing out!

Only thing is... it does not make me happy happy happy that since our obsession with Duck Dynasty began... ALL Jackson talks about is hunting. He has also said MANY times that he wishes he was them. He wants to change his last name... become a Robertson... and move to Louisiana. I might be ok with that actually. I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out with that family?

Anyway, here is Jase Robertson and Rapunzel. I never really liked Emme in that wig. I couldn't figure out why. And, then, it dawned on me.

It's because she looks exactly like E.T. when he dressed up and put on that wig. It's disturbing really. How can someone so beautiful put on a wig and look like the picture below. I don't know what else to say about that... except... as long as she is in my house she will never be allowed to dye her hair blond. She will have to leave. I can not live with E.T.

Shelby went to a party at church with her friend Ciara. She was dressed as Katniss Everdeen and Ciara was dressed like... well... I don't really know. I am not even sure Ciara knew. It mattered not... she was cute.

Gracie went trick or treating with her friend Emily. There were dressed as 80's dancers. They looked super cute.

Ciara loves Emme. And... ah... my precious Emme is back.

And, my "Robertson" men... well, I'm sure there will be a blog post sooner than I like about their hunting adventure.

Death Toll at Family Reunion Rises to 10

2012-10-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, the death toll at our family reunion has risen to 10. And, I'm not sad about it. I haven't even shed a single tear.

See, it's bad enough to see a mouse in your garage, but when they start inviting extended family and turn it into a family reunion.... in my garage... it's game on, party over. I tried a trap laced with peanut butter... twice. Twice, they licked it clean. That was back when I thought we were dealing with a mouse. However, when I opened a cabinet that had grass seed in it, and saw cousins and aunts and uncles with beverages in hand and decorations on the walls... throwing confetti, I went to plan B. Sticky pads.

Within hours Wednesday, I had 5. By the time the sun rose on Thursday morning, the count had risen to 10. We're onto maintenance now. Relatives arriving on late flights, will be met with light horderves of rat poisoning. Death toll can be expected to rise.

In other news this week, Paul's parents came to visit. We took them to Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park and the trip did not disappoint.

First we stopped in Estes Park. We ate lunch at a little local joint and then stopped at the candy store. We bought candy and warm, freshly made carmel corn. Then, walking around with our stash, we went in and out of all the fun little shops.

As you can see, Emme is growing into a regular giant.

After that, we went to Rocky Mountain National Park. I am much more into chasing large mammals with huge antlers than little mice with beady eyes.

This trip, it didn't take us long to find the elk. I read, on one of those infamous signs, that it's mating season. Therefore, they were out and about. Thankfully, we did not have to observe any... of... that... part... of... nature.

Shew!

Of course, we had to get in some fishing this weekend. What would a weekend look like without fishing?

So... Welcome to Trout Haven. Guaranteed to catch a fish, they supply you with bait, poles, buckets, nets... the whole works. Fish that are caught are paid for by the inch, but they clean it and pack it in ice, and you get to take it home and fry it up.

So much for their stupid guarantee. We didn't catch a thing. (shhh... I was secretly glad. I did not want to eat that for dinner.)

Hmmm... Now, I realized I just moved to Colorado, but I'm pretty sure fish are supposed to be in the water. Here, friends, we have some fish laying out... in the sun... in the grass. We decided it was unusual enough that we should inform the Trout Haven employees.

They already knew. Yeah, they put them there.... FOR THE BEAR that likes to come eat them!!! What?!?! Where was my warning sign? How am I supposed to know what to do if I spot the bear that comes to eat the fish? I should have known. Of course, a bear comes there. I live in Animal Kingdom now, I momentarily forgot. Forgive me. Sometimes, I forget that I signed up for wilderness life.

Now, there's a sign! Ice fish at your own risk. Ice fish. And, what's the risk? I've got a lot to learn.

Since the guaranteed trout catch, was a farce, we decided to make one more pit stop to see if we could get our fish catching high.

So, we turned off the main road and.... hey! There's an elk casually walking down... the road!! Where... most... elk... walk... right?

Looks like a great place to stop... and.. eat... some... grass. Take your time. Don't mind us. We'll just.. sit... and... wait until your.... done.

Since we were already waiting, Paul and Jackson decided to throw in their poles. Across this rather large lake, we saw, what appeared to be Papa Elk. He was walking toward the water... and then he decided to take a swim.

Oh yes, he did! He swam right over to see us.

Sorry about the Blair Witch quality filming. I didn't know my regular camera could video. Therefore, I accused my 11 year old of being a liar and a inept photography and I took the camera away from her. The result was this fabulous video. Yeah! I'm a great mom. Encouraging... instilling great confidence in them... Go ahead! Nominate me for Mom of the Year!

Until I receive that award... stay tuned for more adventures... that... I... had... no... idea...I was signing... up...for. Yay me!

There are NO Fish in Colorado.

2012-10-10T18:47:00.002-07:00

There are NO fish in Colorado. That's what I was beginning to think.

How can we go fishing 5 times and not catch A THING?

We're risking our lives every time we go fishing (see above sign and previous post) and we don't even have the satisfaction of catching a stupid fish.

Don't get me wrong... the scenery is beautiful. The weather is perfect. But, my boy needs to catch a fish for crying out loud.

The most hydrated boy in Colorado with his Camelbak (see Grizzly Adams post).

Bless her heart, she doesn't get to do anything and she's still so happy.

Jackson left me on the other side of the lake to go try his luck with Paul. It didn't work. No fish.

Until the next weekend....

WOOHOO!!!!!!!! We caught 9 fish!!!!

Jackson caught 4, Shelby caught 3, Gracie caught 1 and I caught 1.

Paul didn't catch any. HAHAHAHA!!! I had his pole the whole time, but that's no excuse!

And, Emme, well... we think she was doing Tai Chi the whole time.

In conclusion, I apologize to the entire state of Colorado. There are fish.

Top 10 Things I Hate About Colorado

2012-10-02T08:42:00.001-07:00

I know this is going to surprise you... but Colorado's not perfect. There are some things I just don't like... but being the extremist that you all know and love, I'm just going to go ahead and say I hate them.

The Top 10 Things I Hate About Colorado

10. The weather. Yes, I know it was #1 in my last post. But, it's my blog and as much as I love the weather here, I also hate it. It's ALWAYS sunny here!!! I'm from Ohio... sometimes, I just want a gray, cloudy day! Plus, I feel like a have a part-time job adjusting all the windows in my house. In Ohio, I had 10 windows in my whole house (they were huge... 6ft or 9ft... but there were still only 10). In this house, I have 27 windows. My house faces east so before I go to bed, all the blinds have to be closed. Especially when it's warm out. We don't have air conditioning, so the sun bakes our house first thing in the morning. Later in the day, when I tire of being a hermit, I go around and open all the blinds. Then, so I don't live in a fish bowl, I go around and shut them all when the sun goes down so everyone can't see in my windows(this will make more sense later in the post.). Doesn't that just wear you out?!

9. We have not figured out how to dress here. One day we went to Denver for a soccer game. We had jeans and long sleeve shirts on and we were burning up (Denver sits at about 5000 ft about sea level). Then, we drove to Breckenridge (about 8500 ft about sea level) and we were dressed perfectly.
This past Saturday, Jackson had a soccer game. I wore a thin sweatshirt and cropped jeans. If I sat in the shade, I was freezing. Seriously, I was so cold. If I sat in the sun, I was pretty sure my pants were going to ignite. I'm not kidding my legs were on fire. That's the weird thing about living here. The temperature of the air can be great, but we are much closer to the sun, living in a high elevation, and so the sun is intense. Basically, one needs to have about 10 layers of clothes on and walk around like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow man. Then, you're prepared for about anything. It's sounds very stylish, huh?

8. The Names of Stores. I used to shop at Kroger in Ohio. Here, when I go to the grocery, they carry Kroger brand items, but the store is called King Soopers. It's bad enough that it's such a stupid name, but WHAT IS UP WITH THE WAY THEY SPELL IT??!! It makes me so mad! Guess what Ohio friends? The name is on the back of your Kroger card. I hope now, every time you whip out your Kroger card, you remember that the stupid name of King Soopers is on that card. And, I hope it drives you crazy... and makes you think of me:-)

Two convenience store names that make me mad: Loaf and Jug and Kum and Go. Why do they bother me, I don't know. They just do!

7. Landlocked.

One thing I loved about Ohio was you could get to any number of states in a relatively short amount of time. I'm landlocked here. It takes FOREVER to get out of Colorado. Can't even write more about it; it makes me feel clausterphobic.

6. Gasping for breath. The air is thin here. Geesh! And, it matters not that I exercise frequently. I feel like I would be better off carrying an oxygen tank around. I feel like I sound like an asthmatic horse walking up a flight of stairs. It's so embarrassing.

5. Houses. The houses are on top of each other around here. We live in the wide open west where there's plenty of room to spread out but noooooo!!! Greedy developers have to stack the houses on top of each other to maximize their profit. In their defense, people spend so much time outside here that no one wants to spend their whole weekend doing yard work. But, for me, there's just something I like about people not being able to look in my 27 windows and being able to see what really goes on inside these walls. Call me crazy!

4. Dry EVERYTHING! Living at a high altitude and no humidity when your used to 100% humidity in Ohio... has a tendency to dry everything out. Skin, lips, noses. We all have blood in our noses all the time along with random nose bleeds... where it just pours out. Someone's lips are going to fall off and we might as well buy stock in Trader Joe's lotion. In case you missed it, it's really, really dry here.

3. Danger signs. Everywhere we go, there's some sort of danger sign. It just seems like this is the last place someone like me should live, plus it just scares the daylights out of me.

This last sign... ARE YOU KIDDING ME? In case you can't read past the blur:
If you see a lion:
STOP- DO NOT RUN- stay calm
FACE the lion, but AVOID DIRECT EYE contact
Pick up children so they do not panic and run
Talk to the lion in a FIRM, LOW voice
Make yourself LARGE. Raise you ARMS or coat over your head
Back AWAY SLOWLY if you can

So many things concern me about this sign: 1) Why are we ever here if we know this is a mountain lion area? 2) Am I really supposed to remember all of these things if I see a lion? 3) Look at the lion, BUT avoid eye contact... How do you do that? 4) Talk to the lion? Talk to the lion. What are you supposed to talk about? Will he answer back? 5) Make yourself large. Can you see me doing this? Raising my arms above my head, trying to make myself look large, talking to the lion but avoiding eye contact... and then 6)Back away slowly...IF YOU CAN. IF?! What if you can't ...then what?

I mean really, why? Why would we go to this lake? Not just once either! We went back this past weekend. In case your wondering, no we did not see a lion but you better believe I was constantly on the lookout, especially this last week when the ranger had to honk the horn to make us leave because it was getting dark. Did we catch anything yet?? That's my next post:-)

2. Security. I have never been in so much trouble. I am forever being approached by security in the parking lots at the schools. I am always doing something wrong. I just can not figure out their system... where I'm supposed to wait, where I'm not supposed to wait, which line to wait in, etc... I've never seen anything like it. I seriously do not think I have made it one week without doing something wrong. I'm a nervous wreck every time I approach the school zone.

Not only am I getting in trouble at school, I got in trouble at the movies. One Tuesday, Jackson and Emme didn't have school, so I took them to $1 movie. I took graham crackers for them for a snack. There were only about 15 people in the movie, but keep in mind, two rows in front of us, the people were cracking open pop cans and rustling candy bags. I pull out my graham crackers and some worker comes up behind me and talks in my ear, "Um... you are either going to have to take those out to your car or give them to me."

What? You want my 6 graham crackers for my 5 year old 24 pound child? Well... here you go! I hope you can sleep tonight!!!

Where did she come from? Why was she watching me? What about the other people. There are so many things wrong with the whole scene. I still can't get over that!!

1. It's not OHIO. I miss my friends and family. Sometimes, I just want to go to a place where everybody knows my name and they're always glad I came....oops! That's the theme song to Cheers. If my friends and family were here, it would be the perfect place to live!

Top Ten Things I Love About Colorado

2012-09-28T06:04:00.000-07:00

When I was in college, one of my best friends was named Amy. She was from New Jersey and at that time, she was one of the funniest people I had ever met. I have a picture of a pee stain in our hallway where we laughed so hard one of us peed all over the floor. (I'm going to go ahead and just blame that one on her.)
Our sophomore year, we lived in the same room together and somehow during that time, we started 'publishing' a top ten list. Every Wednesday night, by 10pm, we would have it posted on our door. I wish I could find some of them. I can not for the life of me think of any topic, but I do know they were funny. The rest of our hall would be waiting outside our door for it to be posted. (I'm thinking they were hard pressed for entertainment.) We could hardly get them done because we were laughing so hard at ourselves. Those were the good ol' days.
I'm publishing this list on my own... no one's sitting outside my door waiting for it to be finished. Maybe I should have relished in the limelight a little more back then. But, without further adieu... here are the Top Ten Things I Love About Colorado.

10. There's weird people here...
and they find me (see last two posts). It is the one constants in my life right now, weird people, and it gives me something to write about it.

9. The regular people.

Unlike the South, or certain places in the midwest, most people haven't lived their whole lives here. I rarely went anywhere in Ohio (my city) where I didn't know someone. One time, when I was really sad about the possibility of moving here, I said to a friend, "I'm not going to know people every where I go in Colorado!!" My friend said, "April, no one is going to miss that but you."

Anyway, people here are really friendly. One of my first friends also has a little girl from China that is the exact same age as Emme... and they love each other. So fun! Think God planned that out?

8. Milk delivery.

What in the world? No hormones and all that other good stuff.... or not with all the good stuff... however you want to look at it. I don't care. They deliver and it's WAY better than the milk at the grocery store. And, if that wasn't enough, they also deliver eggs (1-2 days old), butter, orange juice, half and half, bread, sour cream, yogurt... and on and on and on. The prices are about the same as the grocery store... except the milk is $.80 more per gallon (but totally worth it). The delivery charge..... drum roll please..... $3 per month. AND (big fat AND) if you run out of milk for some reason during the week, they bring more... NO CHARGE!!!
We love Friday mornings. We run downstairs to see what the milkman left.

Leaving out our order on Thursday night.

Friday Morning

7. No bugs!
Well, there are some bugs but not many. We can sit out at night and not get eaten alive by mosquitos. We can eat outside without flies landing and barfing (or whatever they do) on our food every 5 seconds. We can leave our doors wide open.
I was very annoyed when the only fly in Colorado made his way into our house and landed on my left arm every minute for an hour... until I smashed him flat. It was rare... that fly in our house ... almost made the news.

6. The Unlimited Amount of Things To Do
I don't even know where to start. The whole state is a huge playground. Hiking, skiing, fishing, biking, National Parks... it would seriously wear me out to come up with a list. Use your imagination and google.

5. Church
We thought it would take FOREVER to find a church. We had been warned. And, after the first week, when we all walked out of church, looked at each other and said, "Nope!", I thought it was the beginning of a LONG hunt. But, week #2, we went to a church and not one of us could stop talking about it all day. (I'll tell you more later about that week... later... geesh). We went back week #3, week #4 and no one was opposed to making it our home church. We LOVE it there!! The preaching is solid and applicable and that pastor is not afraid to call a sin and sin and let everyone know about it. There is nothing politically correct about him.... and, we love him!

4. No traffic... and when and if there is traffic... it's caused by a herd of elk. Traffic reports you don't hear about in Ohio.

3. The scenery
If I ever come up missing, I'm probably just driving around Colorado... looking. It's GORGEOUS here. It never gets old. The mountains can look different every day depending how the sun is hitting or the type of weather. We went fishing (again) last week (surprise) and I sat at this lake forgetting to watch my bobber because I was starring at the back of Pike's Peak. Last week, the back side had a lot more snow than the front. It's beautiful with the snow. But, it's not just the mountains, it's the rocks and the streams and the waterfalls and the trees and the wildlife. If you've never been to Colorado, you must put it on your bucket list. If you are a personal friend of mine, you are always welcome to stay with us!! (I really mean it!)

2. The mountains

When I come out of my bedroom every morning, I see a window in the hall that perfectly frames a huge 14,000 ft mountain. The last week or so, as the temps have gotten a little cooler, I think we all look to see if there's snow on it. New snow... more snow. It's a sad day when the clouds cover the mountains.
AND COMING IN AT #1

1. The weather.

No humidity. Sun EVERY day. Is there any more to say?

Sneak peek next post: Top Ten Things I Hate About Colorado

I Met Grizzly Adams This Weekend.... Of Course I Did!

2012-09-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

Our big cross country move landed us in Colorado. Most mornings I wake up and still can't believe I live in Colorado. I get confused really easily too. Like yesterday, I went to the grocery store and my lady/manager who bagged my groceries said, "Have a great afternoon and enjoy the game!" I said, "Thanks!" Then I walked away in my head saying, "Enjoy the game? Enjoy the game? What game? Is Ohio State playing today?" I was seriously so confused. Then it dawned on me... the Denver Broncos were playing the Monday Night Football game. The only reason I even conjured that up is because I remember Paul saying it in passing.

Speaking of Paul, I do believe he is on a quest to explore every square mile of Colorado. So, Saturday morning we drove to Denver for Jackson's soccer game and then we were on a mission to check on Breckenridge.

We're all about free entertainment, which there seems to be a lot of in Colorado. So, upon arriving in Breckenridge, we jumped on the free gondola.

I'm not so found on this type of transportation. Any time I think of thousands of pounds of equipment traveling along a piece of dental floss, I get a lot nervous. My kids look happy and confident. Gracie's new friend, Emily, who we brought with us for the day... looked like me. 'Deer in the headlights! Why would we put ourselves on this ride INTENTIONALLY?' look.

Looking longingly, wishing I was back in that parking lot.

Had to take a picture of Emme holding Shelby's hand. It was sweet and most of the time she can't stand Shelby (We can not figure out why. Every time I ask Emme why she doesn't like Shelby, she says, "She always smiles and says 'HI Emme!" Definitely a reason to hate someone, right?

And, it just kept going and going.

And, though we would make it to a platform where one could get off, like this ski resort, guess what? Either way you have to ride it back down.

Jackson was mad because I would't let him ride in a one by himself. He should have been more mad at his dad. While I agree that this mode of transportation must have rules, like only 8 people in cab. There should be one rule that stands out above the rest: NO FARTING! Seriously, how mean is that? There's no air, no way to escape. It's just cruel and unusual punishment... for nothing! We didn't do anything to deserve that sort of treatment.

They thought is was funny.

Well... ha. Ha. Ha.

Every time the car would go over the pulley system, I would accidentally let out a little scream. Emme thought this was hilarious. Jackson was still mad.

Gorgeous, huh?

Breckenridge was having a Beerfest... er... I mean... an Oktoberfest this past weekend. I thought it sounded really fun... until I got there. People can drink A LOT of beer. AND, did you know people dress up in German costumes for this event? Yeah, well, I did not need to see the amount of cleavage and short skirts that I was seeing. We quickly discovered that we enjoyed the unbeaten path WAY more than the beaten path.

We had more fun playing in the stream.

I would be perfectly content to sit by that stream all day.

I think a lot of other people agree.

We were safe following that stream until we ran into the bungee trampoline. We are all about free entertainment... this did not qualify. But, I told Paul I feel like sometimes we torture the kids. We make them come to these things and then all we do is say NO to everything. So, we decided to let them jump.

And, I am so glad we did! Their faces were priceless! Jackson, once he got over the fear, managed to do a double backflip.

Gracie on the other hand... she tried and tried... just to do one flip.

On her last trip, she made it!! YAY GRACIE!!

Sunday we decided we should explore more of Colorado.

So, Sunday, after church, we decided to go fishing. We loaded up Jackson and Emme and 3 of our neighbors and drove an hour away to a beautiful area.

How cool is this tunnel through the mountains? Also, please note, we are driving on a DIRT road.

Of course, I would not want to pick any area that was safe. I've decide Colorado is not safe. Hmm...

We picked our location and minus the person who was in the car you can see in the background, there was not another soul for miles. And, that car was only there for a minute.

Jackson carrying all the gear. Paul brought that bucket because he seriously thought we were going to catch a fish that big.

Jackson drinking out of his camelback. If you don't know what that is, it's a little backpack that has a bladder (you can imagine how much I just hated writing that... sounds so gross.) Anyway, it holds 50 oz of water. There's tube that goes into the bladder. You know, I'm not sure why they even bother with the word tube... why don't they just go ahead and call it a urethra. Anyway, to all my Ohio midwest friends, this seems like a completely unnecessary thing to own. However, now that we live at 6000 ft above sea level and find ourselves playing in mountains an additional 2,000-3,000 ft above sea level, it is necessary. It is very easy to get altitude sickness and become dehydrated. So, at a ski shop, we found them for half the price as the ones at Dick Sporting Goods, so we bought them. Jackson has been dying for one. You are now looking at the most hydrated boy in all of Colorado!

You can see for yourself that there are no other people around. Anyone you see in the picture, is with our group. Paul was helping Jackson and I was intently helping the 3 other kids I brought with us. I mean I was focused. But, all of a sudden, I smelled something that didn't smell so great. The smell greatly resembled taco meat or body odor... as I think they smell exactly the same. It was an odd smell because just minutes before I was thinking how wonderful it smells in Colorado. I was even trying to think of a way to describe it to all of you. There's a hint of pine but it's mostly just a clean, sweet smell. What I was smelling all of a sudden... not clean!

I was trying to fix a fishing line and watch Emme when I heard this deep voice, "Mom, do you mind if I get in and bathe?" I was startled and jerked my head to the right only to find Grizzly Adams-Mountain Man, standing way too much in my personal space. His face was very weathered... wind swept tan (yes, there is a difference between this kind of tan and a regular tan), dry, cracked. I especially noticed the crack on the side of his nose. He was in desperate need of some vaseline. Anyway, I said, "No, I don't mind" because those were the only words I could find.

I mean this man seriously scared me to death. I didn't hear or see him approaching. Where in the world did he come from?

Grizzly Adams took off his shirt and shoes and socks and started walking in the water.

Then I became a bit alarmed. I started thinking, "There's miles and miles and miles of shallow stream JUST like this. Was it REALLY NECESSARY for him to come right HERE?"

Once he made it to the middle of the stream, he dove in and began swimming upstream... only he did not move one centimeter because the current was too strong. Then he turned as if to sit on his bottom and he starting scrubbing down his shorts... in the back and yep, in the front. He proceed to use only his hands to also "wash" his face and his arms and his arm pits and on and on.

Then he came walking back toward me. He grabbed his towel and started a conversation, "All these kids yours?' I said, "Only two of them?"

He looked at Emme, "Where's this one from."

I answered, "China."

"Yeah, I knew it was some place like that. Her hair is beautiful. My second wife always wanted that hair."

So, I said, "Where is your second wife? Chopped up in little pieces in that stream?

(OK!! So I didn't say that! That's what my friend Gina said when I was telling her this story:-) Funny, huh?

At this point, Jackson had left Paul and had rejoined me so I said, "Hey Jackson, why don't you go get dad and see if he can fix this line?' I just wanted ol' Grizzly Adams to know that I was not alone.

At that point, Grizzly Adams moved down to the pile of rocks and walked down to the water. Now, why didn't he just do that in the first place?

Geesh! Seriously?! Why do the weirdest things always happen to me?

I'm sure you are wondering if we needed that big bucket. The answer in NO... we did not catch a single thing. But, it was one of the most beautiful places I have even been and I enjoyed every second of it. I even went into the water TWICE to unhook fishing lines that were caught. Who knew I was made for Colorado?

I Adopted the Queen... Apparently

2012-09-10T19:48:00.001-07:00

For those of you who don't know, I moved clear across the country. Long story. One of these days, I'll write about how we made the decision.

However, in case you were worried that the crazy people would no longer find me (see previous post... if you can handle the bloody pictures of my achilles) your worrying must cease. I have been found.

We were here about 4 days when I decided I should make a real trip to the grocery store. We can walk to the grocery store, so I would send someone over daily for supplies. But, it was time, that I make a menu for the week and stop the madness.

I took Emme and we drove the van. I pulled into the parking lot and drove past a part of the outside of the store where a couple of tables and chairs await guests who... for whatever reason... want to sit in front of the grocery story. I noticed one lady sitting alone at one of the tables. She was sitting alone, but let me tell you, she was having a conversation with someone. I mean she was talking away! I thought she had an earpiece (bluetooth... why don't they call it a blue ear? Seriously?). I have assumed way too many people were crazy only to find out they were really on the phone... only they were not holding the phone.

It was a passing thought. I parked the van and waited for Emme. Once she was out, I took her hand and began to walk toward the door and also toward the lady seated at the table. At that point, the lady had her head in her hands and she looked as though she were crying. That makes sense, right? She sat at the table, had a difficult conversation on her blue ear and now, she just couldn't help herself, she was crying.

That's what I thought until she looked up. She looked right at me and very loudly she announced, "I'VE BEEN SEEING PEOPLE FROM NORTH CAROLINA ALL DAY!!" I looked around to see who she must be talking to because, well, I not from North Carolina. When I could spot nary another soul and noticed she was still starring straight at me, I looked down at my shirt which read: Holden Beach, North Carolina.

Darn! Plan B: ignore her, look away and whatever you do... keep walking.

I did. And, then she promptly began exclaiming again... as she moved from behind the table. "SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!" She is now in front of us and has knelt down in front of Emme.

"SHE IS JUST BEAUTIFUL!!! OH!! CAN I KISS HER??"

And, before I could even process, she took Emme's face in her hands and kissed her cheek.

"SHE IS THE PRINCESS!!! I HAVE SEEN THE PRINCESS!!" I GUESS PEOPLE FROM NORTH CAROLINA AREN'T SO BAD AFTER ALL."

I had had enough of the North Carolina talk so I informed her that I wasn't from North Carolina.

Her reply, "OH I KNOW!"

I'm so confused. How does she know?

It didn't matter because her ranting began again and she took off her sunglasses and put them on Emme. "HERE!! I WANT YOU TO SEE THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES! (She is still kneeling in front of Emme and yelling.) I CAN GET UP AND WALK HOME NOW BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THE QUEEN. (She looks at me.) SHE IS THE QUEEN!!"

I didn't think her talking could get any louder but as she walked away... it did. "AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT OR A REPUBLICAN... JUST WALK IN LOVE! I HAVE SEEN THE QUEEN!"

She was walking away and pressing my luck I said to her, "Don't you want your sunglasses back?"

"NO! I NEED HER TO SEE THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES!! SHE CAN KEEP THEM!"

What?! What in the world just happened? This is my first visit to the grocery that is right behind my house and this is what I am greeted with? This is the place I must call home for who knows how long?

We walked into the store and I looked down at Emme who was taking off her "new" sunglasses and she said, "I don't want these. Throw them away."

There you have it folks. Proof! Proof that no matter where I venture on this earth, strange things happen to me. People find me. Worry no longer that the stories will cease, they will not.

Stay tuned.

Because I Never Want to Forget Part II

2012-04-03T07:44:00.005-07:00

For those of you who love the gory pictures, here you go!

I think about the most fun thing you can do with a wound that looks like it could turn septic at any moment, an achilles tendon that was just repaired and a boot and a pair of crutches is head to the beach 12 hours away.

So that's just what we did.

My doctor changed my cast before I left because a) my cast was so tight it felt like my foot was having contractions and at any moment it was going to birth another foot and because b) we were headed to the beach. Although, it still doesn't make any sense because he told me to stay away from the sand and the water.

Oh good! So let's go!!!!!!!!

I had a long week at the beach. We went for a family reunion with Paul's side of the family. To get into any of the houses that we rented, I had to go up 2 flights of stairs. And, just to get to the beach so I could sit and sweat, I had to "walk" at least a football field.

After a long week, it took us 15 hours to get home and we got up the next morning and went to church. After church, we went to out to lunch because we didn't have any food in the house. When lunch was over, I sent Paul home with the kids and my mom out to pull up the car. She was going to take me to the grocery store, but I had to go to the bathroom first. The restaurant was not very crowded and I was so glad because when I have to GO.... I like to GO A L O N E!

I was hobbling back to the restroom and when I was just about at the door, this lady came up right behind me, "Oh, what you do to your foot?"

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! I have been living in a 1000 sq foot house at the beach with 17 people (yes, 17 people in one house) for a week. All I want it some privacy in the bathroom.

I make my way inside. "I dropped a knife and severed my achilles tendon."

I turned around to look at a woman and upon first glance and I got the vibe that she might be a little socially awkward. She had some really bad frosted hair that is spiked up all over the place, red lipstick and frosty blue eye shadow.

She responded, "Oh, did you have to have surgery."

I proceeded into the stall thinking surely she will not shut up, do her business and leave.

"Yes."

She headed into her stall and I heard, "So, who was your surgeon?"

"Dr. Walker." Keeping the answers brief. She'll get the point.

"Is he at the Valley?"

"No."

"Oh! He's not? Where is he?"

OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!! I do NOT want to talk to you! I have business to do in here.

"He's at____________".

"I'm a nurse. I thought sure he was at the Valley."

"Nope."

"So, how long ago did you do it?"

For the love of all that is holy! Isn't there some kind of unwritten etiquette that you don't talk to people through stalls when you don't know them?

"4 weeks ago."

"When was your surgery?"

At this point, I realized I was going to get nothing accomplished in there so I came out. And, yep, she was right there waiting on me.

"I had surgery on the 30th, 10 days after the injury."

I started drying my hands.

"When can you walk on it again?"

I walked to the door. Opened the door. Went out the door. Turned around. Held door open for myself and answered her ANNOYING question.

"Well, my brother is a foot and ankle surgeon and he says usually 8 weeks after surgery."

WRONG thing to say.

"Oh, where is he a surgeon?"

"Pittsburgh."

"Oh, so are you a nurse?"

At this point I have moved farther away and now she is holding the door open.

"No. I'm not a nurse."

"Oh, I'm surprised you're not a nurse."

NOW WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SURPRISED I AM NOT A NURSE????

BECAUSE MY BROTHER IS A DOCTOR AND I HAVE AN INJURY???!!!

"So, what to you do?"

"I attend anger management classes so I don't shoot annoying people!!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE."

Ok so I didn't say that. I think I muttered something about being a teacher and then I turned and NEVER looked back. I told her my mom was waiting.

She went back into the restroom. Probably to finish the business she wouldn't let me do!!

Geesh!!

The next day, Janae asked if I could meet her after she taught her Zumba class. She too had been on vacation and we wanted to catch up. We decided to head to a little restaurant that I had never been to. It had an outdoor seating area and we thought it would be nice to sit outside and talk.

We had probably been there about 20 minutes when the door opened and headed out to sit at the table right next to us was..... yep, the lady from the day before.

I gasped and Janae turned and said, "What?!"

I said, "That lady! She was at the same restaurant I was at yesterday."

Janae, being facetious says, "I don't know how you'd recognize her."

No one could forget that hair.

I lowered my voice and I said, "I've got to tell you about her."

I leaned in closer so I could whisper and Janae could hear me.

The lady and her husband/boyfriend ? were seated RIGHT next to us.

As the frosty spiky haired lady was being seated, she looked at the back of Janae's Zumba shirt and she started talking, "So, you teach Zuhmba?

My eyes got really wide and I looked straight into Janae's eyes and I said, "She just asked you if you teach Zuhmba? ZUHMBA!"

We fought the urge to die laughing, instead we ignored her and I kept talking.

Again we heard, "So, you teach Zuhmba?"

Again we ignored her.

Why is she saying it like that?

I honestly don't know how we kept it together. We are not the most mature people together. We think the same things are funny and we laugh... A LOT!

We kept looking at each other and kept right on talking. She was not saying A WORD to her boyfriend/husband (same guy she was with the day before, by the way) and she kept glancing at our table.

I whispered, "Janae, she keeps looking over her for any break in our conversation to talk to us."

Janae: "Just don't look at her."

We had managed to avoid her for a long time. But at about 10 pm and we decided we both needed to head home.

We stood up and she saw her chance. "So, you teach Zuhmba?

Janae: "Yes, I do."

"Yeah, I've been to your Zumba class. (She said Zumba. She can say it right! Why was she saying Zuhmba then?) (And, WHY DID SHE KEEP ASKING IF SHE ALREADY KNEW THE ANSWER?) Yeah, but you move so damn fast I can't keep up with you! I'm going to come again. You still teach on Wednesday? Yeah, I'll be there Wednesday. Where do you think I should stand? I've stood in the back and I can't really see that well. I don't want to be in the front though."

Janae came up with a brilliant idea, "Well, I guess you could stand in the middle?"

"Yeah. I'll be there Wednesday."

She shifted her focus to me. "What happened to your foot?"

Seriously?!

"I dropped a knife and severed my achilles tendon."

"Oh, d'ya have surgery."

IS THIS A JOKE?

"Yes."

"Who was your surgeon?"

"Dr. Walker."

"Oh, is he at the Valley?"

Ok! Where's the camera? There is no way this lady does not remember this same story from a little more than 24 hours ago.

"No."

"Are you a nurse?"

WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME IF I'M A NURSE?

"No. I'm not a nurse."

Janae started walking away and I followed right behind her. We got through the door to the inside of the restaurant, waited for the door to close safely behind us and burst into tears of laughter.

What are the chances? What is wrong with people and how on earth do they find me?

I went to Zumba on that Wednesday.

Oh yes I did! I sat right there next to the Janae's stage and prayed to the good Lord that the frosted spiky haired lady would show up. I could just visualize her doing some Zuhmba.

You can imagine my disappointed.

And, this story my friends, is what I really want to remember about my injury.

Socially awkward people! I love them!!!

Because I Never Want to Forget Part 1

2012-04-02T06:49:00.008-07:00

It's been a year since I've written a blog post. That's ridiculous. It's probably ridiculous given any context but it's even more ridiculous given that I have spent at least 14 weeks of this past year doing very little. As a matter of fact, 8 of those weeks I wasn't even allowed to put any weight on my left foot.

Why? Well, glad you asked.

On June 20th, I was making dinner for my family and for Janae's family as they were returning from a trip. I didn't have a kitchen sink because we were remodeling our kitchen. So, I carried a skillet with some utensils down the stairs and into the laundry room. I have a large utility sink so I was washing everything in there. As I stepped into the laundry room, my foot gave out and I couldn't walk. I thought I stepped on something and that the pain would register in a moment, so I turned to try to walk again to see what I stepped on. Again, I could not walk. Instead, I noticed a gaping hole right above my heel (it split like chicken) and some blood on the floor. Then, as my eyes glanced up, I saw a large slicer knife with a pronged end lying on the ground.

Our friend Leah was at our house doing laundry, so I very calmly yelled at her, "Hey Leah, can you come down and help me." She came down to find me on all fours as I could not for the life of me figure out what to do. I then asked her to get my phone. I called Paul and told him what had happened and asked him what I should do. At this point, I was white as a ghost, face covered in sweat beads, and positive I was going to blow chunks at any moment.

He said, "Go to the emergency room." I said, "You don't understand. I'm really hurt. I can't walk. " He said, "I know! Go to the emergency room!" Clearly, not thinking straight, I was like, "Oh the emergency room!"

I got off the phone and realized I was no better off than when I called him. I still could not walk. Leah and Shelby got me a towel and some tape and I taped the towel around my foot, and then I started to crawl. I crawled over to the stairs and then up the stairs. I crawled around the corner to the front door and then realized I had no idea what to do. By this time, Gracie and our neighbor was home so they ran to get me some crutches. They brought the crutches back and I was in no condition to adjust them as they were way too big. Finally, I held onto Leah and Shelby, hopped what seemed like a mile to the car, and then Leah drove to me the emergency room.

I waited way too long in that waiting room. I was not hurting I just wanted that gaping hole closed up. I saw a teenage boy holding a towel around his finger, I desperately wanted to bet him that my cut was worse than his, but I never made it over there.

While I was waiting to be taken back, my friend Courtney called. Her husband, Brad, out of the blue, insisted she call me. When she found out where I was, she came straight to the hospital.

I was taken back for xrays while my male nurse friend made sure he told me I was his greatest nightmare. He was sure I was in some slasher film and someone had waited under my car to slash my achilles or I was walking down an old wooden staircase where someone was hiding, whipped out a knife and slashed my achilles.

Comforting. Clearly, he had taken a few courses in counseling patients.

While it was confirmed that my achilles tendon was indeed slashed in two, the story was no where near as exciting as he was trying to make it.

My mom and Paul arrived at the hospital sure I had over exaggerated my cut. At this point, they had me turn over on my stomach so they could flush the wound.

Janae was calling and being called for updates on her drive home. Finally they stitched me up and told me I needed to contact a surgeon for the repair.

Janae arrived at the hospital right before I was released and Courtney went to teach her Zumba class while she stayed with me.

Meanwhile, my friend Jen had gone to get my kids at home, taken them to dinner and then hung out with them until we got home.

Once at home my friend Andrea (please pronounce AHHn drea) arrived and before I knew it, there was a party at my house. And, while it was definitely not an occasion to celebrate, it sure made me thankful to be surrounded by so many people who cared.

While I never want to forget what it feels like to be surround by so many friends and family, this is not really the purpose for this post, so, you're going to have to come back tomorrow to read what I REALLY never want to forget:-)

I'm rusty. You didn't think I was really going to get it all done in one post, did you?

My first cast... all for a cut.

Getting my first cast cut off before surgery.

The cast the surgeon put on. Written on my leg

Yes.

Shew! They got they right leg

More pictures tomorrow!

A Monkey Riding on the Back of an Elephant?

2011-05-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Something happens to people after they live with us. Sarah lived with us a year and then moved to California. Darja lived with us and moved to Colorado. Presently, Sue is counting down her last days here and heading back to Korea.

I didn't take it too personally until I happened to read a blog post recently written by Darja. (You can read it for your self by clicking here if you'd like.) She came to visit and then... low and behold I found ourselves part of her writing.

Sunday was spent with another group of very important people- the ever-growing Isaacs family. I swear they’re playing a sick game called ’let’s see how many living things can live in one house.’ They’ve got 4 kids, a foreign exchange student, a dog, and now a second dog. I won’t be surprised if the next time I visit them, I find a monkey riding an elephant in the living room. And April will find a way to make it seem so normal. Don’t know how they do it, but they’re great for opening up their lives to a bunch of shmucks like us, and I always enjoy visiting with them. It was such a beautiful day, too.

I have often felt like I was living in a circus. Come to find out, others think that too... and then they move... far away. Hmmm.....

Wild Turkey

2011-05-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm hitting the wild turkey!!!

Or should I say, we hit a wild turkey.

We've been home from vacation for a month now and I still can't get over the fact that while we were minding our own business and cruising through the state of South Carolina, a wild turkey decided to go on a suicide mission and use our van to carry out his death wish.

We saw him setting on the side of the road. He began to lift his wings and Paul said, "Don't your DARE START TO....." BANG!!!

I thought he hit our windshield until I got home and noticed the huge dent in our hood. A dent that looks exactly like someone threw a frozen turkey at us.

I also remember Paul saying, "Did you look in the review mirror and see it explode? Feathers were flying everywhere?"

NO I didn't see that! I was too busy trying to get over the fact that 1) a wild turkey was even on the side of the road and that 2) he had the audacity to his us. Jerk!

I am happy to say that that was the most eventful thing that happened on our vacation. And, why it even surprises me, I'm not sure. We all know that when I travel, things happen.

We had a fabulous vacation. We left on a Thursday right when the kids got out of school . We drove to Asheville, NC. Where I scored an amazing deal on a hotel and tickets to the Biltmore.

On Friday morning, we ate breakfast with the locals and then we toured the Biltmore (more on that later).

We left Asheville, Friday afternoon and drove to Greenville, SC. One of Paul's best friends in all the world lives there. Dave and his family took us to dinner at the Mellow Mushroom (my favorite pizza in all the world), and then we came back and celebrated Paul's 40th birthday with them. We crashed at their place! Nothing life a family of 7 crashing someone's house!

On Saturday morning we got up and drove to Hilton Head. Our great friends, Shawn and Bill (a married couple, girl and guy... haha!) gave us an unbelievable ocean front condo there.

We had awesome weather the whole time. It did rain one morning and so we headed to Savannah, Georgia for the day. I've always wanted to go to Savannah and it lived up to my expectations. I am now trying to decide which southern city is my favorite, Charleston or Savannah.

On Thursday evening of our vacation, Paul's very best friend in all the world flew in for his birthday. His name is Jon. There is no way to describe Jon Tice. I think he's one of the greatest men in all the world. His packed full of everything: Godliness, wisdom, humor, wittiness, kindess, etc... I could go on and on. He's one of those people that's like a breath of fresh air. One feels better just having spent time in his presence. Paul and Jon had a great time. They golfed on Friday and Saturday with Jackson hanging with the men. He got his first taste of golf and on Friday and declared that, "the best day of his life."

After spending a week in Hilton Head, I totally get the hype. It's one of my favorite places now. I love the low oak trees with the spanish moss hanging from them. I love that the whole island feels like an island. There's no commercialization there. There are no billboards or signs and the buildings, even McDonalds and Wendy's look like they are part of a plantation.

It had been a long time since our family had been on a vacation and we have one of the best weeks ever!

Eating breakfast with the locals in Asheville, NC.

The Biltmore

Shelby and her friend Bridget... being 12.

I swear they live to make Emme cry!

Our condo was in the center, one down from the top.

Harbour Town for dinner one night.

If you stood in the kitchen in our condo, you could see the ocean out of 3 windows. AMAZING!!!

Savannah for the day!

Emme spent many hours watering the cement at the pool.

We saw lots of jellyfish.

and crabs. And we saw dolphins every single day!

Paul, Jackson and Jon getting ready to golf.

I loved this beautifully landscaped areas between the pools.

Emme was uncooperative during my photo shoot. She had just woke up.

Ah... so pleasant when she wakes up! NOT!

I can't wait to tell her what a jerk she was one of these days.

I hope they grow up to be best friends.... cause they sure don't act like it now.

Whoever Says There's Not a Difference Between Boys and Girls.....

2011-02-12T12:28:00.001-08:00

Whoever says there's not a difference between boys and girls is full of malarkey.

When I have a friend that hurts my feelings, it affects me for awhile. Even if they say, "I'm sorry." and I accept and forgive, I walk around feeling all pitiful for awhile. I can't let it go. It eats at me and I nurse it. I try not to. I really do, but it's like I just can't get over it.

It's not the same with boys. They can beat the crap out of each other one minute and the the next minute they're like, "Hey, want to go climb that tree?"

I have the opportunity to watch both of the sexes play out their respective roles in this house of mine.

Friday, Jackson went over to play with our neighbor, Trayce. Jackson and Trayce have a lot in common as they are the same age and have played on a couple of different sports teams together.

So, Friday they were playing when their friendship went south. Trayce called Jackson a jerk.

Jackson retaliated. He said, "Well, you're a jerk!" And, then he followed that up with a remark that cut to the soul. Jackson said, " You're a jerk....AND.... and... I know more Jesus facts than you!"

SO there!! Take that!

I know more Jesus facts than you? Who says that? And, what does that even mean anyway?

What is wrong with my kids? My littlest hates Charlotte, the little girl on TV with Primordial Dwarfism and Jackson brags about how many Jesus facts he knows? Again... we really know how to love people. Feels so good to say we are a missionary family. Want to support us?

Jackson came home for about 10 minutes. That was boring because we have a house full of girls and Trayce has a house full of boys. So, Jackson put all of his snow gear back on and marched over across the street.

He walked straight to Trayce's house and knocks on the front door.

Knock, knock knock.

Trayce came to the door, "Yeah?"

Jackson says, "Hey Trayce! Want to play?" Acting as if NOTHING happened 10 minutes ago.

Trayce said, "No. You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me."

Jackson, piling up his list of sins, very emphatically says, "No I didn't!!"

Trayce said, "Yes you did! You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me."

Again, Jackson said, "No I didn't"

"Jackson!! Yes you did! You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me!

Jackson said, "OK!! I'm sorry! Want to play some football?"

Trayce says, "Sure!"

And, there you have it. The difference between boys and girls... all wrapped in how many Jesus facts you may or may not know.

Jackson's Teeth

2011-02-11T18:08:00.001-08:00

Jackson. My one and only precious little boy.

Seriously, does he not look like the classic all-American boy?

Don't answer that.

Don't burst my bubble if you don't think so.

Don't get me wrong. The boy has his issues. He's as squirrelly as they come. He never sits. Not even in school. The teacher tells me he stands... with one leg bent resting on the chair. She also told me that since winter, she has implemented exercise in her room. There's no outdoor recess with all the snow we've had this year. The whole class has to exercise, but it's really for just Jackson.

That's what she told me.

At home, Jackson spends more time walking on his hands than he does walking on his feet. And, if he's not walking on his hands, he's spinning on his head. I don't know what that's all about. I don't ask. As long as he's not aggravating someone... I don't really care how much spinning on his head he does.

We try not to be home too often with Jackson. This winter he plays indoor soccer, he wrestles and he plays basketball. 'Is that too much?' you ask. You come live with him. We have to do something with all his energy.

He wears us out, but his looks... Isn't he so cute? Those freckles on his nose?

Well, I thought so. I thought he was so cute. That all came crashing down one day, those perfect looks. They came crashing down because one day when my best friend Janae said, "Jackson's teeth looks exactly like marshmallows. Those little white marshmallows."

I mean look at him! They do!! But, who says this? Your best friend?

Geesh!

With friends like that....

Ok, ok... I confess. In all fairness, one day I told her her oldest daughter had British teeth. But, that was after I saw the x-ray of her teeth.

And, when she said his teeth looked like those little white marshmallows, I laughed about it for a week. I still laugh about it.

Since then, I decided he also looks like a Minion from Despicable Me.

Either way... he's adorable. One day, he'll grow into those teeth... and then I'll miss them.

LOVE... It can be felt in our home

2011-02-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

Cabin Fever has reached an all new level in this house. It's Wednesday evening, 10:36 pm, to be exact, and I have not been out of my house in over 48 hours. Somebody better start hiding all the sharp objects... or the kids better go to school tomorrow.

One or the other.

Even our television viewing has reached desperate levels. Tonight Paul was flipping through the TV in our bedroom and he stopped on a TLC show called the World's Smallest Children.

Now... I'll watch about anything on TLC or HGTV once I've heard like 1.5 sentences spoken.

I'm like a deer in the headlights. "DON'T TOUCH THAT REMOTE!" But, the only time I usually sit down to watch TV is when we watch it as a family. However, cabin fever had set in and I was in my room with Paul... hiding.

I was hiding from all the kids except Emme. She was on my bed with me... playing with my iphone. She can work that thing like it's nobody's business.

The show that night featured a little girl named, Charlotte. Charlotte has Primordial Dwarfism and it seems that, even among others with Primordial Dwarfism, she is unusually small.

I can talk about unusually small because... Emme is unusually small. She might hover over Charlotte by a whopping 6 inches. But, Charlotte's 2 ....Emme's is 3 1/2. So, it's not like Emme's earned any real bragging rights.

While I was deeply invested in this show trying to figure out if Charlotte had Primordial Dwarfism type I or type II, Emme took a second away from "her" iphone and glanced up at the TV.

She saw precious little Charlotte and in a very matter of fact tone, announced, "I hate that girl."

And, then she went right back to her phone.

Oh, the love of Jesus! It is so felt in our home!

I've decided I need to be less concerned about Emme's stature and whether or not she gets enough milk or enough calories... or even food! I need to focus on that child's heart. Apparently, she's got like... little dog syndrome. She must see herself as some Swedish super model or something. Seriously, who does she think she is?

I may not blog again for awhile. I will be spending all my free time reading Emme the Bible.

Here's Charlotte's story if you'd like to read about her:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1288366/The-tiniest-girl-world-Charlotte-Garside-rare-dwarfism.html

Part IV-Top Events of the Holiday Season

2011-01-22T08:08:00.000-08:00

I'VE GOT TO WRAP THIS UP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!

Part IV ALMOST.......The End of.......... Top Events of the Holiday Season

Dinner and a Movie Family Night-

We always take the kids to dinner and a movie a couple of days before Christmas. This year we went to see the new Chronicles of Narnia movie. I told Paul later, "I didn't want to see that movie but I knew when I did see it I would like it."

He seriously has no idea how to talk to me sometimes. I wish you could have seen his face when I made this comment.

At dinner we gave the kids ornaments. This year they all got a different Peanuts character. I told them how they were each similar to their characters. (We had a good laugh with this.) Then I told them they they were all different BUT I wanted them to always remember they were part of a set. No matter where life takes them... they would always be a set.

We had a great night!

(Thanks to one of my best friends in the whole wide world... Gina for sending us a $50 gift card that paid for our dinner!!)

Christmas Eve

We always spend Christmas Eve with Paul's family. His mom always makes an awesome meal. We ate and then all 11 grandchildren opened gifts. After hanging out all day, we all parted ways for church. We ended Christmas by watching the tv version of Christmas Vacation.

"You serious Clark?"

My favorite line in the whole movie! That and "once he starts, it's best just to let him finish."

Christmas Morning

The kids didn't get up until 8:45! Can you believe that?

We always make them wait upstairs until we are ready for them to come downstairs. We have to get the cameras ready etc... It always kills them.

Christmas Eve Pajamas... this year it was a Paul Frank theme

I love it!

The one thing I love about my kids is... I always feel like they are really thankful on Christmas morning. I never think they are disappointed or feel let down. They don't get even get tons of gifts. They get plenty... don't get me wrong.

We always have cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon on Christmas morning which they also think is the greatest thing in the world.

In the early afternoon, we headed to my parent's house. They live about 45 minutes away. My youngest brother was home this year so that made this Christmas special.

We had a great Christmas day!!!

I wanted to remember it was a white Christmas! YAY!

My surgeon brother sitting at the kid table... he totally belongs there too!!

I guess I keep trying get a picture of all these kids for memories sake... cuz it's a lot of work, dang it!

And, Taffy... who does she think she is?

My two favorite guys in all the world!!

Look how little Emme looks next to my little brother!

We decided Chase looked like a Philadelphia lawyer... not sure how this is different from... say an Indianapolis lawyer... but nonetheless when my mom said this I thought I might die!

The day after Christmas I wanted to see my brother one more time before he headed back home. And, since he does not make it home very often because he acts like he's some big shot surgeon that has do all these foot and ankles surgeries, I wanted him to meet Janae. (I still can't believe they'd never met.)

Soooo.... I made this huge brunch. And, for the record, I just want to say that I did it all without a working oven in my house.

I made an egg, bacon and hash brown casserole in my crock pot. I made biscuits in my semi- working oven. (I can make it work if I flip it back and forth between broil and bake) (That's fun!) I made gravy for the first time ever. I also made baked french toast, an egg and chicken quiche, and we had some fresh fruit. (Thank you neighbor Lisa for letting me borrow your oven for the 1,457th time.)

The food was fabulous... at least that's what everyone told me. A great time was had by all... AND I was worn out! Who comes home Christmas night and starts cooking like that?

Oh yeah... me!

Thai Lunch

On the Wednesday after Christmas we had a little best friend lunch. Janae and I went to lunch with our really good friend Courtney and her best friend Emily. It was my first time eating Thai food. (Paul says eating Thai is the sexy thing to eat right now.) (Not quite sure what that means but he says lots of other things are sexy too... like going to a certain church in our area, Starbucks coffee, and various other things.) (For the record, I don't know how to talk to him sometimes, so we're even.)

Anyway, we laughed really hard at lunch. I tried and loved the vegetable sushi. Yeah, went way out on a limb eating those vegetables! And, I LOVE wasabi!! I really like that burn I get way up in my nose. What's up with that? Good thing I don't do drugs, huh?

I didn't like my lunch so much though. On a spicy scale that food can be ordered from 3-9, 3 being low on the scale. I got a 3... and I was miserable. It's so not worth sweating to death trying to eat something. Who are these people who like food that hot?

Janae loved her food. She got some liquid Jif poured over some noodles. (Courtney ate the same thing) To each his own, huh?

At lunch, Courtney and Emily heard my oven story, so they volunteered their husbands to fix my situation.

Thursday morning, these fabulous guys gave up a morning of their vacation and came and cut through my countertop and cabinets. They removed 2 huge cabinets and my cooktop to make room for a free standing oven. Thanks to the same amazing man who bought us a new washer and dryer, we had money left over and combined it with some Christmas money and I got a free standing oven (as opposed to my teeny tiny wall oven that doesn't work) .... WITH 2 OVENS!!!!!!!!! I could not be happier or more thankful!

YAY!!

So, that same day, while I was getting a massage and a manicure, thanks to Janae's awesome husband, Michael, my new oven was installed. Talk about a great day. How fun to go to a spa with your best friend and be pampered!!!!

In the future however, I would like to recommend not doing Zumba afterwards.

Tomorrow... New Years Eve and then I am done with this forsaken holiday post! Geesh!!!

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part III (and a rabbit trail)

2011-01-05T09:23:00.001-08:00

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part 3:

Before I get into all that, I feel like I should address my issues with mines so that you're not wondering what that's all about.

One night when Paul and I were laying in bed, I asked him if he'd heard about the miners in Chile. He said, "Yes, I heard."

I then said, "Well, they're going to be down there for months!"

I paused for a moment and then continued. "I can't even talk about it."

He said, "Well, they are fine. They can communicate with them and get supplies to them."

I was like, "I know! BUT, they're still trapped!!! They can't get out! Some of them are already starting to show signs of trouble. They're having issues with oxygen, they're going to have muscular issues." Panic started to enter my tone. "I'd be so BORING down there. Did you know they've assigned them jobs?

Paul said, "Jobs? Yeah, you over there... you go look for food. And, you... you're in charge of the sleeping arrangements, find some! and... you, you can work on communication and YOU... You..... just... just ... start digging!!!!"

I started laughing hysterically. The "YOU! You... you... start digging!" just got to me.

But, then I got all serious and I said, "Really! I can't talk about this any more. It completely stresses my out and makes me start to panic. Let's not talk about it anymore. Seriously, I can't even think about."

Paul was just lying there and I know he was desperately trying to figure out what to do with me. And so he stopped me in the middle of my panic and said. "April? April! Are you going into a mine any time soon? I mean, is there something you need to tell me?"

I could not stop laughing. I do that kind of thing all the time. I get completely stressed about about things that have nothing to do with me. Recently, I had a hard time watching House Hunters International because this young girl was moving to Abu Dhabi to teach. She didn't know a soul. The thought of moving to the middle east makes me want to die.

Paul, exasperated, just said, "You know, for me it's slasher films... Michael Myers, Jason. They really get to me and stress me out. For you, it's House Hunters International."

Again, died laughing!

It's true. How quirky is that?

Total rabbit trail!

Cookie and Ornament Making:

A couple of days before Christmas we had our Second Annual Cookie decorating/Ornament making day with Janae and her girls. Basically, I was a total loser and did nothing in preparation for the event. I tried to make sugar cookies with my kids the night before, but a salt lick would have tasted exactly the same. It was so late I didn't have time to make anymore. Janae also got all the supplies for the ornament and had it prepared. We made little wreaths with silver bells and red bows. They were so cute. They cookies... not so much. I don't know who makes them for the magazines, but my kids cookies always look like a train wreck! They're awful!

Janae and I also had gifts for each other. She tried to tell me that we got each other the same thing. I argued with her for days. "No we didn't!"

She would argue back, "Yes! Yes we did!"

Guess what?

We got each other the same thing.

We both bough each other Brian Regan DVD's. But, the good news is... between us... we have them all!

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part II

2011-01-04T05:54:00.001-08:00

Welcome Back to Top Events of the Holiday Season Part II!

Thanksgiving: (Oops! I knew I'd go out of order!)

We've lived in our house 7 years and I've never been able to cook a turkey in my own oven because... I am quite sure it is the smallest oven in the world. Seriously, it can't even hold a regular sized cookie sheet. I usually cook it at my neighbor's house because I host Thanksgiving for 30 family members/friends every year.

Who takes on that task with the smallest oven in the world?

Uh... thatd be me!

The Smallest Oven in the World has been on the fritz for over a year now. I can cook most things with it if I put it on broil first, then put it on the temperature I need to cook and then switch back and forth between broil and bake. It's a great way to cook on a regular basis when you cook almost every day for seven people. Yeah, so....

I cook at my neighbors house often.

Why don't I just get a new oven? Because I can't stomach spending $800 for an oven that's way too small the minute I buy it. I really need a whole new kitchen, but that's neither here nor there at this point.

SOOO, to make a long story short, I had Shelby take 2 corn casseroles over to my neighbors on Thanksgiving. I sent her back an hour later, when it was time to eat, to get them.

They were still sitting on the countertop.

Depressing!

More on that later in the Top Events of the Holiday Season.

Coming Home from the Overnight Trip:

I was almost not allowed to go on the trip with Janae because the weather men were predicting a snow storm on Sunday. Never mind that Saturday didn't even require a coat.

I won. I went.

I stopped blowing leaves on Sunday morning (see previous post) and woke up to a steady rain. We drove into a snowstorm midway through our way home. While I was white knuckle-gripping the wheel with my hands at 10 and 2, Paul called. I was trying to play it cool like the roads were no problem when... AS I AM ON THE PHONE... I am passed on both sides by semi- trucks. Waves of snow and slush completely consumed our car. We couldn't see a thing.

Janae, who I sometimes fondly refer to as Carol Brunette, loudly announces, "Geesh! We were just in the cradle of death!"

Because that's what Paul needed to hear.

The cradle of death.

Children's Choir Concert:

We made it out of the cradle of death to attend a wonderful brunch at a golf club. We were invited by our really fun friend Jen, who we have had the pleasure of getting to know over the last couple of months:-) There was a famous Santa at this brunch. He's the Santa for the Target commercials... or something fun like that.

We all left there and went to my favorite event of Christmas. Shelby sings with a children's choir. They have superb instruction and what they get these kids to do with their voices is simply amazing. On top of that, it's all about Jesus (from a city choir believe it or not) and it is the best worship of the season.

We drove home in a picturesque winter wonderland that perfectly set the mood for Christmas and had the kids betting on wether or not they'd have school the next day. (They lost. 2 hour delay.)

Getting Pictures Taken:

Our great friend Nikki, who's recently started a little photography business, offered to take our pictures. She'd only been offering for months and we finally got it scheduled for December. Even though it was freezing cold, it was a super fun photo shoot. It was really snowing during the shoot. No fake stuff for our pictures! The snow made for some great shots and some great memories.

Nikki did an awesome job! If you are in the area, you must schedule a photo shoot for your family. Here's a few of our pictures:

Don't you just want to pull our hats off our eyes! Geesh!

Shopping with My Mom:

I was able to spend a whole day doing Christmas shopping with my mom. We always manage to squeeze in one day during the season. It was really fun. We got all her shopping done and found perfect gifts for everyone. We had lunch together and laughed a lot. My mom is really funny! We went back to my house and ate dinner and watched a Christmas Carol. The one with Jim Carey.

We spent the rest of the night consoling Jackson and making him a bed in our room. Who knew a horror flick could be disguised as a Christmas movie? Geesh! It was really freaky!

Part III tomorrow!