Dirty Laundry

A Monkey Riding on the Back of an Elephant?

2011-05-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Something happens to people after they live with us. Sarah lived with us a year and then moved to California. Darja lived with us and moved to Colorado. Presently, Sue is counting down her last days here and heading back to Korea.

I didn't take it too personally until I happened to read a blog post recently written by Darja. (You can read it for your self by clicking here if you'd like.) She came to visit and then... low and behold I found ourselves part of her writing.

Sunday was spent with another group of very important people- the ever-growing Isaacs family. I swear they’re playing a sick game called ’let’s see how many living things can live in one house.’ They’ve got 4 kids, a foreign exchange student, a dog, and now a second dog. I won’t be surprised if the next time I visit them, I find a monkey riding an elephant in the living room. And April will find a way to make it seem so normal. Don’t know how they do it, but they’re great for opening up their lives to a bunch of shmucks like us, and I always enjoy visiting with them. It was such a beautiful day, too.

I have often felt like I was living in a circus. Come to find out, others think that too... and then they move... far away. Hmmm.....

Wild Turkey

2011-05-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

I'm hitting the wild turkey!!!

Or should I say, we hit a wild turkey.

We've been home from vacation for a month now and I still can't get over the fact that while we were minding our own business and cruising through the state of South Carolina, a wild turkey decided to go on a suicide mission and use our van to carry out his death wish.

We saw him setting on the side of the road. He began to lift his wings and Paul said, "Don't your DARE START TO....." BANG!!!

I thought he hit our windshield until I got home and noticed the huge dent in our hood. A dent that looks exactly like someone threw a frozen turkey at us.

I also remember Paul saying, "Did you look in the review mirror and see it explode? Feathers were flying everywhere?"

NO I didn't see that! I was too busy trying to get over the fact that 1) a wild turkey was even on the side of the road and that 2) he had the audacity to his us. Jerk!

I am happy to say that that was the most eventful thing that happened on our vacation. And, why it even surprises me, I'm not sure. We all know that when I travel, things happen.

We had a fabulous vacation. We left on a Thursday right when the kids got out of school . We drove to Asheville, NC. Where I scored an amazing deal on a hotel and tickets to the Biltmore.

On Friday morning, we ate breakfast with the locals and then we toured the Biltmore (more on that later).

We left Asheville, Friday afternoon and drove to Greenville, SC. One of Paul's best friends in all the world lives there. Dave and his family took us to dinner at the Mellow Mushroom (my favorite pizza in all the world), and then we came back and celebrated Paul's 40th birthday with them. We crashed at their place! Nothing life a family of 7 crashing someone's house!

On Saturday morning we got up and drove to Hilton Head. Our great friends, Shawn and Bill (a married couple, girl and guy... haha!) gave us an unbelievable ocean front condo there.

We had awesome weather the whole time. It did rain one morning and so we headed to Savannah, Georgia for the day. I've always wanted to go to Savannah and it lived up to my expectations. I am now trying to decide which southern city is my favorite, Charleston or Savannah.

On Thursday evening of our vacation, Paul's very best friend in all the world flew in for his birthday. His name is Jon. There is no way to describe Jon Tice. I think he's one of the greatest men in all the world. His packed full of everything: Godliness, wisdom, humor, wittiness, kindess, etc... I could go on and on. He's one of those people that's like a breath of fresh air. One feels better just having spent time in his presence. Paul and Jon had a great time. They golfed on Friday and Saturday with Jackson hanging with the men. He got his first taste of golf and on Friday and declared that, "the best day of his life."

After spending a week in Hilton Head, I totally get the hype. It's one of my favorite places now. I love the low oak trees with the spanish moss hanging from them. I love that the whole island feels like an island. There's no commercialization there. There are no billboards or signs and the buildings, even McDonalds and Wendy's look like they are part of a plantation.

It had been a long time since our family had been on a vacation and we have one of the best weeks ever!

Eating breakfast with the locals in Asheville, NC.

The Biltmore

Shelby and her friend Bridget... being 12.

I swear they live to make Emme cry!

Our condo was in the center, one down from the top.

Harbour Town for dinner one night.

If you stood in the kitchen in our condo, you could see the ocean out of 3 windows. AMAZING!!!

Savannah for the day!

Emme spent many hours watering the cement at the pool.

We saw lots of jellyfish.

and crabs. And we saw dolphins every single day!

Paul, Jackson and Jon getting ready to golf.

I loved this beautifully landscaped areas between the pools.

Emme was uncooperative during my photo shoot. She had just woke up.

Ah... so pleasant when she wakes up! NOT!

I can't wait to tell her what a jerk she was one of these days.

I hope they grow up to be best friends.... cause they sure don't act like it now.

Whoever Says There's Not a Difference Between Boys and Girls.....

2011-02-12T12:28:00.001-08:00

Whoever says there's not a difference between boys and girls is full of malarkey.

When I have a friend that hurts my feelings, it affects me for awhile. Even if they say, "I'm sorry." and I accept and forgive, I walk around feeling all pitiful for awhile. I can't let it go. It eats at me and I nurse it. I try not to. I really do, but it's like I just can't get over it.

It's not the same with boys. They can beat the crap out of each other one minute and the the next minute they're like, "Hey, want to go climb that tree?"

I have the opportunity to watch both of the sexes play out their respective roles in this house of mine.

Friday, Jackson went over to play with our neighbor, Trayce. Jackson and Trayce have a lot in common as they are the same age and have played on a couple of different sports teams together.

So, Friday they were playing when their friendship went south. Trayce called Jackson a jerk.

Jackson retaliated. He said, "Well, you're a jerk!" And, then he followed that up with a remark that cut to the soul. Jackson said, " You're a jerk....AND.... and... I know more Jesus facts than you!"

SO there!! Take that!

I know more Jesus facts than you? Who says that? And, what does that even mean anyway?

What is wrong with my kids? My littlest hates Charlotte, the little girl on TV with Primordial Dwarfism and Jackson brags about how many Jesus facts he knows? Again... we really know how to love people. Feels so good to say we are a missionary family. Want to support us?

Jackson came home for about 10 minutes. That was boring because we have a house full of girls and Trayce has a house full of boys. So, Jackson put all of his snow gear back on and marched over across the street.

He walked straight to Trayce's house and knocks on the front door.

Knock, knock knock.

Trayce came to the door, "Yeah?"

Jackson says, "Hey Trayce! Want to play?" Acting as if NOTHING happened 10 minutes ago.

Trayce said, "No. You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me."

Jackson, piling up his list of sins, very emphatically says, "No I didn't!!"

Trayce said, "Yes you did! You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me."

Again, Jackson said, "No I didn't"

"Jackson!! Yes you did! You called me a jerk and told me you knew more Jesus facts than me!

Jackson said, "OK!! I'm sorry! Want to play some football?"

Trayce says, "Sure!"

And, there you have it. The difference between boys and girls... all wrapped in how many Jesus facts you may or may not know.

Jackson's Teeth

2011-02-11T18:08:00.001-08:00

Jackson. My one and only precious little boy.

Seriously, does he not look like the classic all-American boy?

Don't answer that.

Don't burst my bubble if you don't think so.

Don't get me wrong. The boy has his issues. He's as squirrelly as they come. He never sits. Not even in school. The teacher tells me he stands... with one leg bent resting on the chair. She also told me that since winter, she has implemented exercise in her room. There's no outdoor recess with all the snow we've had this year. The whole class has to exercise, but it's really for just Jackson.

That's what she told me.

At home, Jackson spends more time walking on his hands than he does walking on his feet. And, if he's not walking on his hands, he's spinning on his head. I don't know what that's all about. I don't ask. As long as he's not aggravating someone... I don't really care how much spinning on his head he does.

We try not to be home too often with Jackson. This winter he plays indoor soccer, he wrestles and he plays basketball. 'Is that too much?' you ask. You come live with him. We have to do something with all his energy.

He wears us out, but his looks... Isn't he so cute? Those freckles on his nose?

Well, I thought so. I thought he was so cute. That all came crashing down one day, those perfect looks. They came crashing down because one day when my best friend Janae said, "Jackson's teeth looks exactly like marshmallows. Those little white marshmallows."

I mean look at him! They do!! But, who says this? Your best friend?

Geesh!

With friends like that....

Ok, ok... I confess. In all fairness, one day I told her her oldest daughter had British teeth. But, that was after I saw the x-ray of her teeth.

And, when she said his teeth looked like those little white marshmallows, I laughed about it for a week. I still laugh about it.

Since then, I decided he also looks like a Minion from Despicable Me.

Either way... he's adorable. One day, he'll grow into those teeth... and then I'll miss them.

LOVE... It can be felt in our home

2011-02-02T19:36:00.000-08:00

Cabin Fever has reached an all new level in this house. It's Wednesday evening, 10:36 pm, to be exact, and I have not been out of my house in over 48 hours. Somebody better start hiding all the sharp objects... or the kids better go to school tomorrow.

One or the other.

Even our television viewing has reached desperate levels. Tonight Paul was flipping through the TV in our bedroom and he stopped on a TLC show called the World's Smallest Children.

Now... I'll watch about anything on TLC or HGTV once I've heard like 1.5 sentences spoken.

I'm like a deer in the headlights. "DON'T TOUCH THAT REMOTE!" But, the only time I usually sit down to watch TV is when we watch it as a family. However, cabin fever had set in and I was in my room with Paul... hiding.

I was hiding from all the kids except Emme. She was on my bed with me... playing with my iphone. She can work that thing like it's nobody's business.

The show that night featured a little girl named, Charlotte. Charlotte has Primordial Dwarfism and it seems that, even among others with Primordial Dwarfism, she is unusually small.

I can talk about unusually small because... Emme is unusually small. She might hover over Charlotte by a whopping 6 inches. But, Charlotte's 2 ....Emme's is 3 1/2. So, it's not like Emme's earned any real bragging rights.

While I was deeply invested in this show trying to figure out if Charlotte had Primordial Dwarfism type I or type II, Emme took a second away from "her" iphone and glanced up at the TV.

She saw precious little Charlotte and in a very matter of fact tone, announced, "I hate that girl."

And, then she went right back to her phone.

Oh, the love of Jesus! It is so felt in our home!

I've decided I need to be less concerned about Emme's stature and whether or not she gets enough milk or enough calories... or even food! I need to focus on that child's heart. Apparently, she's got like... little dog syndrome. She must see herself as some Swedish super model or something. Seriously, who does she think she is?

I may not blog again for awhile. I will be spending all my free time reading Emme the Bible.

Here's Charlotte's story if you'd like to read about her:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1288366/The-tiniest-girl-world-Charlotte-Garside-rare-dwarfism.html

Part IV-Top Events of the Holiday Season

2011-01-22T08:08:00.000-08:00

I'VE GOT TO WRAP THIS UP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!

Part IV ALMOST.......The End of.......... Top Events of the Holiday Season

Dinner and a Movie Family Night-

We always take the kids to dinner and a movie a couple of days before Christmas. This year we went to see the new Chronicles of Narnia movie. I told Paul later, "I didn't want to see that movie but I knew when I did see it I would like it."

He seriously has no idea how to talk to me sometimes. I wish you could have seen his face when I made this comment.

At dinner we gave the kids ornaments. This year they all got a different Peanuts character. I told them how they were each similar to their characters. (We had a good laugh with this.) Then I told them they they were all different BUT I wanted them to always remember they were part of a set. No matter where life takes them... they would always be a set.

We had a great night!

(Thanks to one of my best friends in the whole wide world... Gina for sending us a $50 gift card that paid for our dinner!!)

Christmas Eve

We always spend Christmas Eve with Paul's family. His mom always makes an awesome meal. We ate and then all 11 grandchildren opened gifts. After hanging out all day, we all parted ways for church. We ended Christmas by watching the tv version of Christmas Vacation.

"You serious Clark?"

My favorite line in the whole movie! That and "once he starts, it's best just to let him finish."

Christmas Morning

The kids didn't get up until 8:45! Can you believe that?

We always make them wait upstairs until we are ready for them to come downstairs. We have to get the cameras ready etc... It always kills them.

Christmas Eve Pajamas... this year it was a Paul Frank theme

I love it!

The one thing I love about my kids is... I always feel like they are really thankful on Christmas morning. I never think they are disappointed or feel let down. They don't get even get tons of gifts. They get plenty... don't get me wrong.

We always have cinnamon rolls from Cinnabon on Christmas morning which they also think is the greatest thing in the world.

In the early afternoon, we headed to my parent's house. They live about 45 minutes away. My youngest brother was home this year so that made this Christmas special.

We had a great Christmas day!!!

I wanted to remember it was a white Christmas! YAY!

My surgeon brother sitting at the kid table... he totally belongs there too!!

I guess I keep trying get a picture of all these kids for memories sake... cuz it's a lot of work, dang it!

And, Taffy... who does she think she is?

My two favorite guys in all the world!!

Look how little Emme looks next to my little brother!

We decided Chase looked like a Philadelphia lawyer... not sure how this is different from... say an Indianapolis lawyer... but nonetheless when my mom said this I thought I might die!

The day after Christmas I wanted to see my brother one more time before he headed back home. And, since he does not make it home very often because he acts like he's some big shot surgeon that has do all these foot and ankles surgeries, I wanted him to meet Janae. (I still can't believe they'd never met.)

Soooo.... I made this huge brunch. And, for the record, I just want to say that I did it all without a working oven in my house.

I made an egg, bacon and hash brown casserole in my crock pot. I made biscuits in my semi- working oven. (I can make it work if I flip it back and forth between broil and bake) (That's fun!) I made gravy for the first time ever. I also made baked french toast, an egg and chicken quiche, and we had some fresh fruit. (Thank you neighbor Lisa for letting me borrow your oven for the 1,457th time.)

The food was fabulous... at least that's what everyone told me. A great time was had by all... AND I was worn out! Who comes home Christmas night and starts cooking like that?

Oh yeah... me!

Thai Lunch

On the Wednesday after Christmas we had a little best friend lunch. Janae and I went to lunch with our really good friend Courtney and her best friend Emily. It was my first time eating Thai food. (Paul says eating Thai is the sexy thing to eat right now.) (Not quite sure what that means but he says lots of other things are sexy too... like going to a certain church in our area, Starbucks coffee, and various other things.) (For the record, I don't know how to talk to him sometimes, so we're even.)

Anyway, we laughed really hard at lunch. I tried and loved the vegetable sushi. Yeah, went way out on a limb eating those vegetables! And, I LOVE wasabi!! I really like that burn I get way up in my nose. What's up with that? Good thing I don't do drugs, huh?

I didn't like my lunch so much though. On a spicy scale that food can be ordered from 3-9, 3 being low on the scale. I got a 3... and I was miserable. It's so not worth sweating to death trying to eat something. Who are these people who like food that hot?

Janae loved her food. She got some liquid Jif poured over some noodles. (Courtney ate the same thing) To each his own, huh?

At lunch, Courtney and Emily heard my oven story, so they volunteered their husbands to fix my situation.

Thursday morning, these fabulous guys gave up a morning of their vacation and came and cut through my countertop and cabinets. They removed 2 huge cabinets and my cooktop to make room for a free standing oven. Thanks to the same amazing man who bought us a new washer and dryer, we had money left over and combined it with some Christmas money and I got a free standing oven (as opposed to my teeny tiny wall oven that doesn't work) .... WITH 2 OVENS!!!!!!!!! I could not be happier or more thankful!

YAY!!

So, that same day, while I was getting a massage and a manicure, thanks to Janae's awesome husband, Michael, my new oven was installed. Talk about a great day. How fun to go to a spa with your best friend and be pampered!!!!

In the future however, I would like to recommend not doing Zumba afterwards.

Tomorrow... New Years Eve and then I am done with this forsaken holiday post! Geesh!!!

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part III (and a rabbit trail)

2011-01-05T09:23:00.001-08:00

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part 3:

Before I get into all that, I feel like I should address my issues with mines so that you're not wondering what that's all about.

One night when Paul and I were laying in bed, I asked him if he'd heard about the miners in Chile. He said, "Yes, I heard."

I then said, "Well, they're going to be down there for months!"

I paused for a moment and then continued. "I can't even talk about it."

He said, "Well, they are fine. They can communicate with them and get supplies to them."

I was like, "I know! BUT, they're still trapped!!! They can't get out! Some of them are already starting to show signs of trouble. They're having issues with oxygen, they're going to have muscular issues." Panic started to enter my tone. "I'd be so BORING down there. Did you know they've assigned them jobs?

Paul said, "Jobs? Yeah, you over there... you go look for food. And, you... you're in charge of the sleeping arrangements, find some! and... you, you can work on communication and YOU... You..... just... just ... start digging!!!!"

I started laughing hysterically. The "YOU! You... you... start digging!" just got to me.

But, then I got all serious and I said, "Really! I can't talk about this any more. It completely stresses my out and makes me start to panic. Let's not talk about it anymore. Seriously, I can't even think about."

Paul was just lying there and I know he was desperately trying to figure out what to do with me. And so he stopped me in the middle of my panic and said. "April? April! Are you going into a mine any time soon? I mean, is there something you need to tell me?"

I could not stop laughing. I do that kind of thing all the time. I get completely stressed about about things that have nothing to do with me. Recently, I had a hard time watching House Hunters International because this young girl was moving to Abu Dhabi to teach. She didn't know a soul. The thought of moving to the middle east makes me want to die.

Paul, exasperated, just said, "You know, for me it's slasher films... Michael Myers, Jason. They really get to me and stress me out. For you, it's House Hunters International."

Again, died laughing!

It's true. How quirky is that?

Total rabbit trail!

Cookie and Ornament Making:

A couple of days before Christmas we had our Second Annual Cookie decorating/Ornament making day with Janae and her girls. Basically, I was a total loser and did nothing in preparation for the event. I tried to make sugar cookies with my kids the night before, but a salt lick would have tasted exactly the same. It was so late I didn't have time to make anymore. Janae also got all the supplies for the ornament and had it prepared. We made little wreaths with silver bells and red bows. They were so cute. They cookies... not so much. I don't know who makes them for the magazines, but my kids cookies always look like a train wreck! They're awful!

Janae and I also had gifts for each other. She tried to tell me that we got each other the same thing. I argued with her for days. "No we didn't!"

She would argue back, "Yes! Yes we did!"

Guess what?

We got each other the same thing.

We both bough each other Brian Regan DVD's. But, the good news is... between us... we have them all!

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part II

2011-01-04T05:54:00.001-08:00

Welcome Back to Top Events of the Holiday Season Part II!

Thanksgiving: (Oops! I knew I'd go out of order!)

We've lived in our house 7 years and I've never been able to cook a turkey in my own oven because... I am quite sure it is the smallest oven in the world. Seriously, it can't even hold a regular sized cookie sheet. I usually cook it at my neighbor's house because I host Thanksgiving for 30 family members/friends every year.

Who takes on that task with the smallest oven in the world?

Uh... thatd be me!

The Smallest Oven in the World has been on the fritz for over a year now. I can cook most things with it if I put it on broil first, then put it on the temperature I need to cook and then switch back and forth between broil and bake. It's a great way to cook on a regular basis when you cook almost every day for seven people. Yeah, so....

I cook at my neighbors house often.

Why don't I just get a new oven? Because I can't stomach spending $800 for an oven that's way too small the minute I buy it. I really need a whole new kitchen, but that's neither here nor there at this point.

SOOO, to make a long story short, I had Shelby take 2 corn casseroles over to my neighbors on Thanksgiving. I sent her back an hour later, when it was time to eat, to get them.

They were still sitting on the countertop.

Depressing!

More on that later in the Top Events of the Holiday Season.

Coming Home from the Overnight Trip:

I was almost not allowed to go on the trip with Janae because the weather men were predicting a snow storm on Sunday. Never mind that Saturday didn't even require a coat.

I won. I went.

I stopped blowing leaves on Sunday morning (see previous post) and woke up to a steady rain. We drove into a snowstorm midway through our way home. While I was white knuckle-gripping the wheel with my hands at 10 and 2, Paul called. I was trying to play it cool like the roads were no problem when... AS I AM ON THE PHONE... I am passed on both sides by semi- trucks. Waves of snow and slush completely consumed our car. We couldn't see a thing.

Janae, who I sometimes fondly refer to as Carol Brunette, loudly announces, "Geesh! We were just in the cradle of death!"

Because that's what Paul needed to hear.

The cradle of death.

Children's Choir Concert:

We made it out of the cradle of death to attend a wonderful brunch at a golf club. We were invited by our really fun friend Jen, who we have had the pleasure of getting to know over the last couple of months:-) There was a famous Santa at this brunch. He's the Santa for the Target commercials... or something fun like that.

We all left there and went to my favorite event of Christmas. Shelby sings with a children's choir. They have superb instruction and what they get these kids to do with their voices is simply amazing. On top of that, it's all about Jesus (from a city choir believe it or not) and it is the best worship of the season.

We drove home in a picturesque winter wonderland that perfectly set the mood for Christmas and had the kids betting on wether or not they'd have school the next day. (They lost. 2 hour delay.)

Getting Pictures Taken:

Our great friend Nikki, who's recently started a little photography business, offered to take our pictures. She'd only been offering for months and we finally got it scheduled for December. Even though it was freezing cold, it was a super fun photo shoot. It was really snowing during the shoot. No fake stuff for our pictures! The snow made for some great shots and some great memories.

Nikki did an awesome job! If you are in the area, you must schedule a photo shoot for your family. Here's a few of our pictures:

Don't you just want to pull our hats off our eyes! Geesh!

Shopping with My Mom:

I was able to spend a whole day doing Christmas shopping with my mom. We always manage to squeeze in one day during the season. It was really fun. We got all her shopping done and found perfect gifts for everyone. We had lunch together and laughed a lot. My mom is really funny! We went back to my house and ate dinner and watched a Christmas Carol. The one with Jim Carey.

We spent the rest of the night consoling Jackson and making him a bed in our room. Who knew a horror flick could be disguised as a Christmas movie? Geesh! It was really freaky!

Part III tomorrow!

Top Events of the Holiday Season Part I

2011-01-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

Here are the top events of the holiday season, I am not purposefully excluding the word CHRISTmas, I am just trying to cover a time frame: Thanksgiving to New Years Day, thus... Holiday season.

Nothing stresses me out more.... ok, that's a lie. (Just thinking about getting trapped in a mine stresses me out so much I can hardly breathe. I've got a story about that. You're just going to have to hear it later.)

It really stresses me out to think about blogging when I haven't done so in awhile. I feel like I have to catch myself up on all that has happened. Catch myself up... because no one is beating down my virtual door asking me why I haven't blogged.

Jerks!

So, here are my top events of the 2010 holiday season: (Just so you know... they're in no particular order, although I am trying to go in chronological order.)

Unexpected Gift:

I got a Facebook message right before Thanksgiving from an amazing man of God who had just lost his wife of 40 years this past summer. He told me the Lord had laid our family on his heart and he wanted to buy something for our house. When I finished crying... and getting over the fact that... this was his first holiday season without his wife and he was thinking of our family, I was able to respond to the message.

It was very difficult to respond for a number of reasons, although, it didn't take me long. I told him that I spend every spare moment doing laundry, hence, the name of my blog. We've had our tiny washer since we were first married and our dryer broke a number of years ago and we had been borrowing one ever since. (Our dryer friends were going to need it back in May.) He took the whole family out to dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse and handed us a check for a ridiculous amount of money.

I am in love with my new washer and dryer and I have gone from 12-15 loads of laundry a week to 3-4 loads. I have never been more thankful and I am still in awe that someone would do something so unbelievably kind for a family they do not see very often. And, now, I think of him every time I see my beautiful washer and dryer.

Christmas Concert:

Kindergarten through 4th grade performed a school wide concert for the parents. Jackson told me a few weeks before the production that he would need a tux for the event. I said, "Jackson, there's no way you have to wear a tux for this concert."

He replied, "Well, I want one and I am going to wear one!"

Gracie told me she needed to wear pants and be in all black for her part of the concert. Never mind that I knew the entire school would be performing together and I knew that not every girl had to wear all black. Just her and a couple of other girls because they had a "special" part in the production.

I was so disappointed because how many more times am I going to get to buy her a Christmas dress? Although my budget was thankful because it wasn't hard to dig through her closet and find her a pair of black pants and a black sweater that used to be Shelby's.

On the day of the concert, I thankfully remembered a houndstooth sports coat that Jackson already owned from the previous Christmas. He was able to wear that along with a shirt and tie and that seemed to satisfy his itch to make this a black tie event.

I was not able to get the kids dressed for the concert because I was tutoring until 30 before the start time. It was Paul's job to get them dressed and to get to the building on time. When I arrived, I went back to the staging area for the kids to make sure Gracie looked okay. It was at that time that she looked at me with a red face and moist eyes and said, "I am the only girl not wearing a dress."

"WHAT?" (Please say that just like that little minion on Despicable Me and if you haven't seen it... go find it. It's in the scene where they are throwing Toilet paper.)

"You're the one who said you were supposed to wear all black and that it had to be pants!"

She said, "Well, I could have worn that black skirt....."

I am still trying to forget that she was smack dab in the middle of ALL 300 kids on stage where EVERYONE could see her clearly. And yes, I am pretty sure she was THE ONLY girl not wearing a dress. I am still unsure of the whole event that transpired that would have necessitated the need for such an outfit anyway. Somewhere in the middle of the singing, she went over and picked up 2 sticks with another girl. They were supposed to lift the sticks up and form a star, but the 3rd girl (also the 3rd part of the star) was still driving around Ohio looking for the church. (I'm not kidding). It seriously lasted all of 3 seconds and it wasn't even a star. And, I could see absolutely no need to be dressed in Goth for that part.

And, while I am trying to forget that, I am trying to desperately remember how intensely Jackson sang and worshipped Jesus AND how proud he looked that he was all dressed up. He melted my heart.

I also had to do a complete double take/double think when we got home and I asked him if his new shoes were comfortable. He said, "Oh yes! The whole outfit was comfortable! Can I wear all of that on our next dress down day." I said, "Sure buddy!" And then I had to do the double take/double think... he wants to wear a suit and tie on a dress down day at school? A day he doesn't have to wear his uniform?

How precious is that?

Short video of Jackson singing.

Overnight Trip with My Best Friend:

There was more involved than just heading out of town to play for a night but no need to share all of that.

Just know that we went out of town for a reason... BUT... we got to go shopping and have a slumber party with Janae's sister-in-law, Pamela. The shopping was a nightmare. I think we went to the biggest mall in Ohio and couldn't move once inside, but it was a memory!

Then, we went to church Saturday night. Great message and a couple of funny moments that I should probably should just treasure in my heart rather than type them out here. I did think the pastor looked just like Mr. McGoo (and that right there was probably saying too much!)

I just could never find the guys eyes!

Then we went to Pamela's house. We ate and had some great girl talk. Janae and I also put a step ladder on two barstools and changed the smoke detector battery on a high ceiling that had been beeping for months. (Pamela has some back issues right now that keep her from being able to do things like scaling walls and ladders.) BUT, if you know either Janae or myself AND if you know both of us, then you know that was no small feat.

We also watched Brain Regan until we laughed so hard we were crying..... and we just had to go to bed because it was so late.... and because we were making ourselves sick from laughing.

Ok...

I'm not going to lie to you, I feared going to bed that night. We had to sleep in the same room and in the same bed. I've never been afraid of such things before, however, Paul has given me quite the complex lately about sleeping. I mean, anytime anyone compares you to a leaf blower you're bound to develop some insecurities.

So, I had a plan. I decided to wait until Janae was asleep before I feel asleep. I know she sleeps like a hound dog, so I thought maybe the human leaf blower wouldn't bother her once she was asleep.

I don't try to hide the fact that I am quirky. I'm even quirky about my sleeping. I have to be on the right side of the bed and lay on my stomach with my face to the left side of the bed (facing Paul.) Then, when I am just about to fall asleep, I flip ALL WAY AROUND and face the wall and then I go right to sleep. No, I just can not turn the short way, I have to turn ALL THE way around and pull the covers and make a big production.

Does that make sense?

So, I did the same thing when I was with Janae ONLY I was waiting for her to fall asleep. When I thought for sure she was asleep, I flopped over... only to my horror to hear, "Geesh! What are doing over there climbing Mt. Everest?"

That was it!! The laughing started all over again... just like a real slumber party.

I think of it ever time I do my flopping at night... and smile... sometimes I even giggle out loud over it.

That's one of about a million reasons she's my best friend.

Stayed tuned for parts II, III IV of Top Events of the Holiday Season........

Want an easy way to give to those in need this Christmas?

2010-12-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

Last year, I was talking to my friend about how our Ministry, The Navigators, tutor kids at a local apartment complex. This apartment provides housing to families for a very small amount of rent. Without this place, the families would be homeless. I went on to say that one of the kids wanted new shoes for Christmas. We both thought that was so sad. Our kids take shoes for granted. These kids want it as their Christmas.

So moved and saddened by this conversation, my sweet, tenderhearted friend, Jennifer, took it upon herself to collect money for shoes for these kids. Hoping to collect enough for 20 or so pairs of shoes, she ended up with $1500. Because of that, an organization was born~ Shoes for the Shoeless.

They are providing kids all over our community with shoes for kids who would otherwise not have shoes or shoes that fit anyway.

Pepsi is giving away $50,000 to organizations like this one. Shoes for the Shoeless is in the running for this grant. Will you please follow the link below and vote once a day? We have to be in the top 10 to win. Currently, we are 21!!

Click here to vote:
http://pep.si/heZj5S

You can also text your vote

text 104665 to 73774

Pepsi Refresh Project

You can also visit Shoes for the Shoeless at their blog:

http://shoes4theshoeless.org/

Thanks so much!!!

April

Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-26T15:46:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving Day of 2010 was rather uneventful as far as the actual day, November 25, 2010. However, Thanksgiving 2010 is also a Thanksgiving I will NEVER forget. You're gonna have to come back tomorrow to read the details of that story. For today, you just get to look at boring old family photos of our time together.

And, for the first time, I will give you a look of my frozen/paralyzed face. I'm not so excited about that. I just know what it's like to be extremely curious and so for those other souls that are extremely curious... I know you want to see. Plus, this blog, it really serves as a journal for me and my family.

Jackson managed to go the majority of the day without a shirt. He said he was hot never mind that is was very cold and very rainy outside.

The cousins and Emme loving on Taffy.

Post dinner conversation.

Adorable Rylan- check out those dimples!

Olivia- exactly 2 months older than Gracie. She's so sweet!

My brother, chewing on the half a toothpick he asked if he could borrow. He also asked me if Taffy liked salt water. It took me a few minutes, but when I got it, my frozen face cracked up!

Get it yet?

Seriously, what is wrong with the people in my family? How hard is to keep your eyes open. (Click here to see last years Thanksgiving pictures and you will understand.)

JoAnna- I think she looks like a precious moment.

Emme and Papaw reading a book.

Taylor obnoxiously kissing her momma!

I wish Shelby would show some expression and personality every once in awhile.

Emme- being flown in the air by Uncle Brandon.

Reide- trying to squeeze the life out of Emme.

Favorite picture of the day- Reide and Gracie.

Uncle Brandon and Emme.

Jackson and Zayne. I think they look alike. Do you? They were born on the same day- 3 years apart.

Playing Bananagrams.

Shelby was thrilled with me and my camera.

I love my tables and I love having 30 people for Thanksgiving! I wouldn't have it any other way.

When we went to get our
LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture! My brother's family!

I HATE this picture! Me and my paralyzed face. It's a memory, right?

Again, HATE the picture of me, but LOVE Jackson's face!

It was a great Thanksgiving!!!!!

Thankfulness on Thanksgiving Eve

2010-11-24T18:10:00.000-08:00

Wednesday night we had already begun eating dinner when Gracie realized we had not prayed for our meal. She stopped everyone and insisted that she thank the Lord. Never mind everyone already had food in their mouth.

Not a good idea.

After she had thanked the Lord for things... well, things you think she'd thank the Lord for... she proceeded to thank the Lord for William Bradford.

I about choked on whatever it was I had in my mouth. I mean call me un-American but it has never crossed my mind to thank the Lord for the English leader of the Plymouth

Colony. I mean is your family patriotic enough to thank the Lord for William Bradford? That's what I want to know!

On a completely unrelated note, I always feel the need to talk about things I see that bother me. Yes, lots of things bother me. And they're usually really stupid things.

Like the other day, when I had to drive my children to school because I had not misplaced one but two field trip permission slip forms for Gracie, I saw a bus. Now that's not unusual. But, the bus NUMBER was unusual and it made me really mad. It was bus #275. Really!!?? Bus #275. Is that necessary? What happened to like bus #9 or bus #30? I live in a medium sized midwestern city. There is no need to have a bus with that many numbers. How's a kid supposed to remember that? That's what makes me so mad about it.

I know you can't see the number, but that is bus #275.

Then, I was at the grocery store and saw this can of soup.

Really? Beause I don't know ~~that many people~~ anyone who's had a hankering for turtle soup in general. So, I have a hard time believing there's a market for mock turtle soup. But what do I know?

One word: GROSS!

*********************************************************************************

Paul thoroughly managed to get rid of absolutely anything in his system about 4 am on Monday morning. He didn't move much on Monday but on Tuesday, he insisted on taking me out to breakfast. He decided to take a much needed and well-deserved day off. He knows I love breakfast and so we went on a date. I almost asked if they could make me some oatmeal with peanut butter and chocolate, but I was afraid they wouldn't get the amount of water right. I mean just eating the exact same breakfast in a different location would have been a change, right?

Anyway, Paul and I were talking about our illnesses... geesh! Like two old people we were discussing our past 2 weekends. I was sick and then he was sick. I said, "Well, I think they were a little different because I didn't throw up and I was really dizzy!" All of a sudden he gasps and says, "I think I just got Bell's Palsey!" And then he made this face:

He's so mean!! I'm so glad people are having such a great time at my expense.

*******************************************************************************

And, finally, I just want to know.... Does your Zumba instructor take every opportunity to dress up for whatever the occasion?.... because mine does!

Can't Get away... from MYSELF!

2010-11-18T05:02:00.000-08:00

About 15 years ago, I had a moment of panic when I realized that I could never get away from myself.

I told Paul about that recently and he said, "I wish I had known that before we got married." Hmmm... guess that would have changed something.

What I meant by that was... I can never get my thoughts to turn off and sometimes they drive me crazy!

That being said....

Last week Paul and I were laying in bed watching American's Home Video's when we saw the following clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O15DXv3Vwg

We could not stop laughing!

(You have to go watch it or the rest of the post won't make sense. You won't be sorry you watched it!)

In the morning, I sent it to my friend and said, "Something about this dog reminds me of you."

She wrote back:

think it reminds me of you...you're the one who's worried you can't get away from yourself!

Dang it! I hate when I get bit by my own joke!

Later on in the day, I got another email from her with the subject being heeheehee and the message being:

grrrrrrrrrr.....here comes your foooooooot!!

She thinks she's so funny!

And, dang it again.... she is sooo funny!!

On a side note, here's what I look like right now:

Oh! I look like that only I am not a black male!

I can't bring myself to put up a real picture of my face. I avoid mirrors like the plague in general, but most especially now. And, when I do look in the mirror, I start growling.

I wonder what that's all about?

I Can't Stop Winking at People

2010-11-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

SOOOO, I was sick this past weekend. Fever, body aches, stomach "issues", etc... I think I managed to move around the house about 7 pm Saturday night.... and then I laid back down and watched a movie with the kids.

On Sunday after church, Janae's mom very graciously asked me and ALL my kids to go to lunch with her. Actually, I'm not sure if she is kind or crazy. Either way, it was a huge blessing not to have to go home and fix lunch ... because.... Did I mention Paul was out of town all weekend.

Oh yeah!

I was drinking coffee at lunch thinking a) this coffee is terrible and b) my mouth feels kinda weird.

Later Sunday night, I remember thinking, "I can't really taste anything" and I even googled it because I thought it was a bit odd. People talk about not being able to taste when they have a cold, but, I don't have a cold... so I thought I should make a diagnosis/

Then on Monday morning, I was eating my oatmeal... OF COURSE! (Scroll down for my latest food obsession recipe.) and I thought my mouth felt weird. Then I was reading my Bible and I thought, "I don't think I can wink my right eye". I can usually wink both eyes separately. Then all of a sudden I thought, "Bell's Palsey". Don't ask me where that came from.

I looked it up and concluded my diagnosis was indeed correct.

So, I called my friend Janae and I called my friend Donna and they both said I should go to the doctor. I'm big on multiple opinions and an agreement of those opinions and so..... I went to the doctor.

The doctor confirmed my diagnosis. (Dang it! Should have gone to med school.) (My brother, who is a real doctor, told me I was an internet MD. Translation: I got my degree online in 20 minutes.)

Today, I decided Bell's Palsey is really annoying. I hate the name. I'm super dizzy... I can't tell you how many times I have about wiped out. My eye by the end of the day hurts BECAUSE IT'S WORN OUT from being open all day... plus I think the eye ball itself is paralyzed. It took me forever to focus this morning and see straight.

To top it all off, I got an email from a person who is supposed to be my best friend. I was thanking her for knowing what I needed on Monday and she replied by saying:

"I loved that you wanted to be with me and continued to show it by winking at me all the time!"

Who makes fun of someone who can't blink their eye because it's PARALYZED. And, every time I would look at her at our Bible study today, she would wink at me.

So mean.

Then there's my sweet little Jacskson who's teacher sent me a message letting me know that his class was praying for me today. He clearly requested the prayer.

When he walked in from school this afternoon he said, "Hey MOM! Is your face more paralyzed?"

On a positive note, I am VERY thankful it's mild and even more thankful and appreciate of being healthy.

Cranial Nerve #7

2010-11-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

I often make the comment that things are on my last nerve. This time, however, I want to be very specific and tell you that something is on cranial nerve #7.

It's not Taffy or Paul. It's not the kids or even the in-laws. To be perfectly honest, I am not even sure what's on it.

But, because something is on it...I do know what a fish feels like. You know, when it's got that hook in the side of it's mouth and it's being reeled in for the catch.

Yeah, I know because my lip looks a bit like that. And, my right eye... it's not cooperating. When I try to wink it... nope, it won't wink. When I blink, it stays open.

And, finally, I can't decide if this is the worst part of the best part... I can't taste a thing. Honestly, if you told me to close my eyes (and if I could get my right eye closed) I am not sure if I could taste the difference between headcheese (click here for previous post on that very topic) and cheesecake. This whole thing could be a huge blessing if I could forget about eating for as long as my 7th cranial nerve is being attacked.

When something is on your 7th cranial nerve, you have Bell's Palsey. At this point, I am thinking it's a very, very minor case. The doctor also thinks it is minor.

If you could pray for my partially paralyzed face, that'd be fabulous!

I'll tell you more in my next post. Just wanted to quickly get a post up... trying to be better about blogging!

Randomness

2010-11-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Janae and I were out running some errands. We were looking at something that Shelby requested for Christmas when all of a sudden Janae looked over and said, "Why do those boots look like they need to be circumsized?"

I was thinking, "What in THE HECK is she talking about?" as I scanned the boots in the store. I didn't want to ask her as I was sure I would know when I saw them. N O W....... this is all happening within a matter of seconds.

So, I continued to scan and when I saw the boots, I literally doubled over in laughter. I didn't think I was going to recover from that one. Sometimes, when I start laughing, I can not be stopped.

However, I recovered enough to take a picture.

I showed Paul the boots when I got home and he said he didn't get it. He also said we were sick. He ALSO said that I couldn't blog about it because discretion is a lost art. I decided it should remain lost AND blog about it anyway.

I'm in trouble.

Next, we were following this car one day.

A cat sitter? Is there really a market for this? If there is, I missed an income opportunity like no other.....BECAUSE...... what in the heck does a cat sitter do? Sit in the house and read a book while the cats go about their business? I mean SIGN ME UP!! Cats are persnickety. They don't like to be bothered. They certainly don't want you to throw a ball or a frisbee to them. They don't need to go out and do their business... they do it in a pan for crying out loud... in the house!! Whoever came up with that one anyway? That is so gross! AND, the last time I checked, cats don't walk on leashes, so that's not part of the job description. But, then again, birds don't usually get walked around neighborhoods in mesh cages either and I got that going on in my neighborhood.

SO, I might want to further investigate before I venture into a new career.

And, that cat sitter lady... she drives like a bat out of HADES too. It was work to catch up with her to take a picture of her car along with her ridiculous license plate that she paid an extra $50 for. Do you know what I could do with that bucks?

I could at least buy some uncircumsized boots!

Next.......

One day, our family was driving in an unfamiliar area looking for a park where Jackson was supposed to play a soccer game. I was driving while Paul was studying for a talk he had to give later in the day when Jackson spotted 2 people on a bike and yelled "Look!!! 2 hobos riding their bikes!!"

What does it say about my parenting that he called those people hobos? Why did he call them that anyway? Was it because they were in green army type jackets? I was so perplexed and laughing so hard all while searching for a hidden park AND taking a picture of the hobos that I never got to address the whole topic. I was just looking at the pictures on my phone and I thought the world should know that if you wear a green army type jacket... my son just may call you a hobo. So, beware!

Next....

I got these shoes for my birthday from Paul. He knew I liked them because a little birdie told him. Now, the consensus among my children and a few of my friends (not the little birdie friend) is that they don't really match my personality. What I hear my children and others saying is, "You are not cool enough to wear those shoes."

I just thought you should see my shoes and judge for yourselves. I'm still wearing them because I do think I am cool enough to wear them. And, in the book of Proverbs there is a verse that says, "As a man (or woman) thinks, so he is." In other words, whatever you think about yourself is how you are... so I am going to go ahead and think that I am hip and cool enough to pull off some sparkly-type of converse shoe.

I might even start wearing them every single day no matter the outfit.

Finally.......

Just some cute pictures of Emme.

This was after trick or treat. She was grapes. I popped her balloons and Paul called her a raisin.

A couple of Friday nights ago, I was sitting in the car with Gracie and Emme while Jackson was practicing soccer. There were some scissors in the car and I decided right then and there that Emme looked like a long-haired chihuahua and that I should cut her hair.

Gracie said, "You are the weirdest mom EVER! Who cuts their child's hair, IN THE CAR, AT SOCCER PRACTICE?" She was really offended by the whole scene.

I cared not.

Emme before school the other day in her NIKES that I got at a Thrift shop and a mini skirt and leg warmers and shirt... passed down from our neighbor.

THE END

You are going to love this breakfast!

2010-11-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

One of my best friends in all the world is Gina. She makes me laugh really hard.

Several years ago, she told me this story about her little sister, Andrea. To this day, every time I think about the story it cracks up.

Andrea and Gina were in the car with 2 guys and Andrea said, "I make THE BEST tuna fish sandwich!"

The one guy says, "I hate tuna fish sandwiches!" (Let's call the call Brian... cuz I think he needs a name.)

So Andrea says, "Do you like tuna?"

Brian says, "NO!"

"Do you like mayonnaise?"

"NO."

"Do you like celery?"

"No."

A bit exasperated Andrea says, "Do you like white bread?"

"Yes."

She says, "Well!!........ Then you are going to LOVE this sandwich!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

SOOOOO ....... my question to you is this:

Do you like oatmeal?

Do you like crunchy peanut butter?

Do you like chocolate chips?

Then you are going to LOVE this breakfast!!!

Because I am obsessive (Yes, I need help, but at least I can admit it!), I have eaten this every single day for weeks. Truth be told, I will probably be eating this for weeks and weeks and weeks to come.

1/2 c oatmeal (Old Fashioned), 2 teaspoons of peanut butter, 1 tsp chocolate chips, and 2 packets of sweetener. (I use Truvia.) (I hate that name by the way.... it seriously makes me consider not even buying it.) Cover with water and microwave for 2 minutes.

After you nuke it, put in a tad of milk and stir thoroughly.

You can thank me later for giving you the best breakfast ever.

It's later.

Big Changes for Emme

2010-11-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

Emme's little world has expanded. She now wears big girl underwear and sleeps in a big girl bed. She rides a bus and goes to school. And, she's another year older and wiser.

And with everyone of these things, has come an adventure.

First of all, she's a whopping 18 pounds. Have you ever tried to find underwear to fit someone who is 18 pounds? It's impossible. My friend Janae and I... we searched the world over to find some that would stay over her little biscuits. There were none to be found. Thankfully, Janae's got skillz. We bought some underwear and she set to work altering every single pair. I am now the proud owner of 25 of the smallest pairs of underwear in the world. (Um... why do we say underwear comes in pairs? Pairs of what? I almost feel stupid saying pairs of underwear all of a sudden.) Anyway, they have to be the cutest pairs of underwear in all the world.

For the most part, Emme uses the big potty. I am afraid we are going to flush her back to China when I see her sitting up there, but so far she's managed to stay here with us. She does have an issue with the whole #2 thing. She will only perform that in the diaper. Why any 3 year old intelligent enough to know the ins and outs of the iphone would want to sit around in her own fecal matter is beyond me, but hey, everyone has their issues, right?

We had a little tiny party for Emme's 3rd birthday. I was convinced we were having a Dora party because she's all about Dora, but every time I asked her what kind of party she was going to have... she would insist she was having an Elmo party. It matters not that I don't think she's ever seen the first Elmo tv show. But, nonetheless, she had it in her little mind that she was having an Elmo party. So, Janae set to work and displayed some more of her skillz and made Emme's cake. I think it was about the cutest cake I have ever seen.

Emme's also going to school. And, bless her little heart, she's riding the short bus there. It's true. She qualified for speech services through our awesome school district and I'm proudly sending her to one of the best schools I know. The bus picks her up. It only has little preschoolers on it. Plus, there is an aide on the bus who straps her into her little car seat. I LOVE the principal at Emme's school and we decided that at the end of her time there, a plaque may have to be purchased and displayed in her name. See, the building is really just a K/1 building, but the preschool outgrew itself and so 2 of the classes have had to move to this building. So, if Emme attends next year again as a preschooler, and then again the following year as what they call a Young 5, and then the next year as a Kindergardener, and then lastly as a 1st grader, she will have spent 5 years in the K/1 building. Maybe by that time she will be able to walk up the steps to the bus instead of climbing them.

Finally, little Em moved to a big girl bed. She's actually sleeping in a trundle that comes out of the girls bunk bed. Tuesday night was her first night in the bed. About an hour after she fell asleep, I went into check on her and found her plastered face down on the hardwood floor. I called Paul in so we could crack up together. I mean, poor thing, she looked like she'd been shot... so we put her back in bed. About 1 am, she waltzed into our room, woke up Paul and spent the rest of the night nestled between the two of us. I woke her up at 8:50 so I could make it to my 9 am haircut. I am glad someone slept well.

Speaking of sleeping, that little thing has been interrupting my sleep for exactly 2 years now. On September 8, 2008, in a dingy, government building room in Nanning (Guangxi Province), China, someone handed me one of the tiniest, most precious gifts in all the world. Toothless and wide-eyed, she came right to us. I LOVE LOVE LOVE thinking about our trip to get her and amazed all the time at the huge blessing she is to our family.

Yes, she almost burnt her lips off trying to blow out her candles.

Since I wrote this on September 8 and it's taken me two months to publish the post, there are some other things you should know about Emme.

Emme now goes poopy in the potty. When she needs to go, she announces that her butt is full... which I think makes perfect sense. I may actually start making that announcement myself. I don't know how that will go over with my friends and family, but I like the statement that much.

One day I found Emme sitting on the potty doing #2 and eating a piece of garlic bread. I don't want to know where she put the garlic bread while she was in transition. I try not to think about those things.

One last thing about #2 and I'll be on my way. Whenever she poops, she looks into the potty and tells me what she pooped... so far today we've had an alligator and a little snake.

Have you ever been to a mock car wash?

2010-11-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

One day, not too long ago, Janae and I were out and about doing whatever is it that us "stay at home moms" do. And, lest you think nothing.... don't even get me started.

Really, it matters not what we were doing. I'm finding myself a little feisty right now because I just spent 5 hours straight working on a George Washington Carver project. I'm about to pull my kids out of school and homeschool them again. I am that delusional.

ANYWAY....

So, Janae and I were by the school that our children attend and she looked over to see a sign in front of the school. She read the sign: "Mock car wash." She pondered that for a second and then she said, "Now, how in the world do they do that?"

As she continued deeply thinking it through, she started acting out the car wash. She was doing the famous wax on wax off movement with her hands. She was spraying the car down with her imaginary hose and just desperately trying to figure out the whole concept.

Meanwhile, I sat in the seat next to her and watched . As she took a break and waited for me to chime in, she looked over to see me just starring at her. She got this blank expression on her face and without any emotion in my tone I said to her, "Can you read that sign again?"

(I know you can barely see the picture, but I HAD to have A picture.)

Janae turned to read the sign again and said, "OH!! MOCK CAR CRASH!"

That was it! We could barely drive. Doubled over laughing, the kind that gives you the worst stomachache, tears streaming down the face, we barely made it back to my house.

And, for days I told the story and laughed about it.

Several days later, Janae and her husband, Michael, went out of state and bought a boat. The next day they wanted to go out on the boat. I was invited to be part of the maiden voyage. I wasn't about to miss out on that, but I had to work a football game later in the evening. The only way I could go was to drive myself and follow them.

As we were leaving town, they needed gas. They pulled into a gas station and I pulled to the front of the store so I could park. I didn't want to be behind the big truck and boat as they tried to maneuver it at a gas station for the first time. They pulled forward and backed up once or twice. I really wasn't paying that much attention to be honest. I was catching up on Facebook statuses on my phone while I waited for them. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Janae walk up to the van next to me. She started rubbing something on the passenger side of that van.

I was like, "OH NO!!! They hit that van when they were pulling forward and she's trying to rub off the paint they left behind. That's terrible! The first time out and they hit something. Michael's going to be so mad!" And on and on and on went my thoughts.

All of a sudden, rounding the front corner of that van parked next to me, the same van Janae was rubbing, a little old lady barreled around in her wheelchair. The lady had a rag and was madly wiping down all the water spots on her van that she had just taken through the car wash. Janae had gotten out of the van to help as she was sure the old woman was going to spill out of her wheelchair at any moment. As I was putting all this together, a loud knock on my window (driver's side) caused me to jump and turn to see who could possibly want my attention. It really startled me because I was looking out my passenger side window watching Janae.

It was Michael.

I opened my door and he quickly poked his head in and said, "Janae's participating in a mock car wash."

As quickly as he appeared, he was gone.

I was on my own.... doubled-over, laughing... trying, through tears to follow them to the lake.

Days after questioning a mock car wash, bless her heart, she got to be part of one. If the Lord doesn't have a sense of humor..........

The cup

2010-11-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

In Matthew 26:39, Jesus prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

On a very serious note, the cup Jesus was referring to was dying on the cross for the sins of all mankind. Did you know he did that for you? He didn't want to do it. He was asking God for another way (cup), but in the end, he submitted knowing it was the will of the God.

On a much, much lighter note, I too have been praying for a cup. Seriously, this cup is driving me crazy.

Clearly, I spend too much time at Chick Fil A. In my defense, I have a 3 year old that weighs 18 pounds and LOVES their chicken nuggets. AND, I have lots of coupons for free chicken nuggets. So see, it's just the perfect combination. But, despite the coupons or the cries for "CHICKEN NUGGETS!!!!" My trips to Chick Fil A may have to come to an abrupt halt!

Every time I go to Chick Fil A, I have to look over and see this cup. It stands outside a Quiznos. The first time I noticed the cup, I am pretty sure I held up the whole drive-through line. I just kept starring and starring. Finally, I pulled out my camera and took a picture.

And then I had all these things going through my mind. What is wrong with that cup?! How in the world is that person standing like that? What in the heck is wrong the person? Seriously, he has be drunk! Why is he standing in the big pothole in the ground? How in the world does he not move his feet? Isn't he about to fall over? It took everything I had not to run over, rip the cup off the body and check the person's pulse.

The next time I went to Chick Fil A, the cup was standing in the same place but this time he was standing straight up. Shew! The cup was not nearly so disturbing and I didn't feel the need to go on a rescue mission.

But then I went to Chick Fil A again and this time the cup was leaning in a completely different way. I stopped traffic again. I pulled out my phone and took a few pictures. Then I pondered contacting an attorney on behalf of the poor guy standing in this cup. I decided that the store was abusing someone. There was no way on God's green earth that the person in that cup could be conscious... or mentally stable.

I haven't figured it out yet. But what does it say that I have spent that much time on this? I've taken pictures of the cup, downloaded the pictures, blogged about the cup. I've talked to others about the cup. I've thought about the cup when I was no where near the cup. I've gotten mad at Quiznos and vowed never to eat there because of the cup.

On a side note, Paul calls me obsessive/compulsive. I can't figure that out either.

Defamation of Character

2010-09-20T11:28:00.000-07:00

If Taffy could sue me in a court of law, she would do so for defamation of character. Of course I would turn around and countersue her for vandalization of personal property. SOO, I guess it's a good thing we are talking about a dog here and we are really not headed for a long legal battle.

The bottom line is this: the good name of Taffy the dog has been slandered (by me... see previous posts) and I am here to clear her name.

Have you ever heard the saying, If you love something, then set it free?

I decided to do that last week. I was tired of fighting Taffy into the garage. I was tired of the shards of wood lying around the garage. I was tired of the wet dog I would come home to when she was caged, especially since I still do not even know what the wetness was/is. (Let's not talk about that anymore.)

Last week, I went to a shopping area that sits really close to my house. I decided I could do what I needed to do and be back home in 20 minutes. In that 20 minutes, I would let the dog have free reign of the house.

The thing that has always concerned me the most about leaving her is my front door. I waited 6 years for that front door and right or wrong (probably wrong), it is the pride and joy of my house.

If that dog so much as left a finger nail scratch in that wood, I would pluck her nails out one by one with some pliers and then I would have to blow her to smithereens with a shotgun.

I loaded my shotgun and ran to the store.

Ok, ok!!!! I don't even have a shotgun and as much as I don't LOVE dogs, I could never hurt one.

So, I ran to the store. I came home, pulled in the driveway, and with knees so weak I could barely walk, I made it to the front door.

I opened the front door, turned around and thoroughly inspected the door... the inside of the door. There was nary a scratch!

I got back in the car and went to Target. Target makes me happy... just so you know.

I came back and all was well.

Taffy has been left unattended since that day... and I am happy to report.... all has been well.

Taffy truly is the perfect dog... now.

P.S. Paul's mom came over the other night and when she saw the dog she said, "Hey Carmel!"

I was like, "What'd you call her?"

She said, "Carmel."

And, I said, "Or Taffy."

I tell you between her and my dad.... licorice, carmel. Hahaha!

P.S. The bird lady walking by my house again. (See previous post.)

Things I don't know what to say about.......

2010-09-07T03:37:00.000-07:00

This hard-boiled egg for instance. It has boobs. And, I sat it in the lid of an apple juice bottle and took a picture of it. And, I laughed really hard at myself... for thinking the egg had boobs and for taking the picture and for posting it on Facebook. I have 500+ friends on Facebook and only two of those friends thought it was as funny as I did. I think I am cutting my friend list down today and just keeping those two friends. Something tells me a lot of those other people won't miss me.

I also don't know what to say about this lady.

She walks around my neighborhood carrying that black cage. Do you know what's in that cage?

A bird.

That lady walks her bird. There's something wrong with that entire picture. First of all... um... birds fly. How about putting that bird on a really long rope and letting him fly around as YOU walk through the neighborhood? I sure as heck think he'd prefer that as opposed to being walked around the neighborhood in a cage. Because... guess what else? The walk.... it's not doing him any good. HE'S NOT GETTING ANY EXERCISE!!!

What makes that lady think that bird wants to be walked? I bet that is the most frustrated bird in all the world. Not only is the bird being treated like a dog. He has to be walked around the neighborhood where he gets to see all the other birds flying around. I bet the other birds make fun of him too. Poor guy.

And, then there's my husband. He all of a sudden feels the need to embrace characters. It started with the Chick Fil A cow. He sent me the picture one day by phone.

He had written:

In the arms of another heifer as the caption of the picture. He had a moment of clarity before sending the message to me realizing that if he said he was in the arms of another heifer then he was in a round about way calling me a cow.

Something tells me I need to ramp up the affection level around here since he keeps having long embraces with things other than his wife.

And, wanting his picture taken with these things.

Then, there's that dog that lives in my house. The dog's name is Taffy. But, my dad couldn't remember the dog's name one day and fearing for the dog's safety knowing she has to live with me, he asked my mom, "How's Licorice?" He was dead serious too. Hahaha!!

Licorice, Taffy... whatever her name is... she's got issues. As if that wasn't obvious by my recent posts. One day Paul called and asked me if I'd come to the pool and pick her up. Now, why she was at the pool in the first place is beyond me, but I've stopped asking questions and so I drove to the pool to pick her up.

Shelby got in the car too and we were slowly exiting the pool because of the speed bumps. Taffy, being a dog, wanted to sit in my lap and stick her head out the window. Now, having a dog in my lap and driving is about as fun as getting a root canal... but, it's only about 1/2 mile home so I thought I could handle it for two minutes.

30 seconds into our 2 minute drive... Taffy jumps out the window. Now, why on God's green earth would she do that? I mean really! That dog! As I stopped the car to get out and get her, this lady pulls up beside me and she said, "OH!!! I am SOO GLAD that was a dog! I thought it was a kid!"

I can't decide what perplexed me more. The dog jumping out of the car or the lady thinking it was a kid.

Anyway, Taffy has continued to either A) get out of every enclosed space we put her in B) jump 4 feet into the air to squeeze her way through a small hole in the broken glass in the door that is in the garage but leads outside C) try to claw her way to the hole in the broken glass after we've put plywood over it or D) if she can't get out of the cage we've put her in, by the time she gets home she's soaking wet.

Why is she wet? What is the wetness? Slobber? Sweat? Urine? I'm not sure I want to know. And, since I have so much free time on my hands, I have to give her a bath. I am SOO glad we got a dog.

We went to an amusement park the other day and we knew we wouldn't get home until about 10 pm. We left Taffy in the garage. When we were leaving, Paul was talking to Taffy. He said, "Taffy, I fully expect you to have a bonfire going with all the wood chips you've made when we get home tonight."

I thought I was going to die!!

Here are ALL the cages she can get out of it. Yes, she can get out of every one of them.
The plywood she works on in her spare time.

It's hard to see the hole in the glass, but it's there.

Can You Be a Country Superstar AND Also Be Totally Down to Earth?

2010-08-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Can You Be a Country Superstar AND Also Be Totally Down to Earth?

Just in case you've ever wondered.... the answer is a resounding yes!

If you're new to my blog, we are friends with Hillary from Lady A. She dated a very good friend of ours several years ago. She came to our house several times and hung out with the family. She was about the sweetest thing I ever met. She doted all over the kids; bringing them gifts and being very attentive to them. She even sat with Shelby and wrote a song in the book she gave her for her songwriting. At the time, Lady Antebellum was just starting. Her boyfriend at the time would say, "They're going to be big." But, it was one of those things where I was like, "Yeah, do you know how many people think they are going to make it big?"

I did know she had an amazing voice. We asked her to sing for us and she sang a song she wrote for her high school graduation. We were blown away by the voice and the song.

When Hillary and our friend broke up and we were devestated. We loved Hillary and the guy she was dating. I decided I wanted to stay in touch with her. So, we exchanged so emails and I committed to pray for her on a regular basis. I can only imagine how tough the music industry is. AND......

Do you know how big Lady A is? Do you see what happens when I pray??? Ha!

ANYWAY.....

Hillary, being exactly who I thought she was way back when, has remained in touch with our family... even facebooking with Shelby the day after winning Grammy Awards and once while walking out on stage for a concert. Who, that busy, has time for a 12 year old?

Shelby never gets tired of seeing Lady A in concert and apparently, Hillary never gets tired of Shelby asking for tickets because she gives them to us regularly. Sunday, she was at a fair near our house. Hillary left us tickets at will call and we planned on seeing her at some point in the evening.

After a series of unfortunate events including cell phones not staying in range, we were not able to see Hillary. I had 3 disappointed girls, as Shelby had brought a friend. I also had one disappointed little guy. Disappointed... but they handled it very well.

Being an adult, I totally understood. Plus, I'd just be sick of people if I were her.

But, do you know what Hillary did Monday morning at 10:30 am after driving through the night all the way home to Nashville? She called our home and talked to all of the kids and apologized all over the place for not being able to see us the night before. She and I were then able to catch up for the next hour.

Are you kidding me? She absolutely did not have to do that. We totally understood PLUS would it even have mattered if we were ticked off about it? She doesn't need us.

But, that's the kind of character that is Hillary Scott and that is the reason I liked her the moment she walked through the door of my house. Our conversation reaffirmed that she is the real deal.

So, if you have a daughter that needs a famous role model, I know one.

And, once again, there is at least on Country Music superstar who is as down to earth as they come.

Go LADY A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hillary with the girls a couple of years ago when we went out for pizza after one of her concerts.

I LOVE That Dog, I Love That Dog, I Love That Dog

2010-08-02T18:38:00.000-07:00

I LOVE That Dog, I Love That Dog, I Love That Dog

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

One day last week, we went to the pool for 2 hours. 2 HOURS. I didn't know what to do with the dog because we'd taken her with us wherever we went over the weekend. So, I put a long leash on her and roped her to the banister in the kitchen.

This is what my carpet looked like leading up to the kitchen when I returned from the pool.

Thankfully, our friend who gave us the perfect dog, has some experience laying carpet and we just happen to have an extra piece.

The next time we left her we put her in a cage I borrowed from my cousin. When I pulled in the driveway and opened the garage door, who should come running out of the garage? Oh, well it would be THAT dog,! Taffy. She somehow got one wall of the cage down. AND, since she was out and about, she decided she would claw at Paul's red Buckeye door.

The next time I left her I went to Zumba. I looped a ribbon in and out and in and out of the cage and then I tied it around that particular door so that she couldn't get the door down. When I came home from Zumba and opened the garage, guess who came running out?

Good guess!

Oh, and since she was out, she decided to go ahead and work at that door a little more. There was some nice red wood shavings laying around the garage floor. To get out, she somehow managed to chew the ribbon off despite the fact that it had to have been almost impossible (I said... almost) to even get her teeth to the ribbon. Once again, the door was lying down flat.

Today we went to church and I decided to use a steel- linked chain collar to hold the door together. No way can she chew through that! Go ahead and try!!!

When we came home and opened the garage door, Little Miss Houdini came trotting out of the door with a look on her face like, "Is that all you got?"

Oh yeah! There were more wood shavings and since that must be getting a little old by now, she decided to do some jumping and try her mouth at the blinds that stand 4 feet from the ground and used to cover the whole window.

The cage door... bent. I'm not sure how she squeezed her ever-loving body through it... I just hope she tore some flesh on her way out.

Seriously, does God just sit up there cracking up at me?

I thought this was the perfect dog. I mean... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this dog has some separation anxiety. Yep, she's got issues! That's for sure. Then she trots around the house looking all innocent and sweet. Curls up next to Jackson and gives me the look like, "All little boys need a dog."

Someone needs to tell her that one year....I gave a dog to my kids for a Christmas gift, and then 4 or 5 months later, I gave her away. I've got no heart. She's living here on borrowed time.

I Lost

2010-08-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

Despite my picketing, my threats to never again do laundry or make dinner, and my promise to leave the country, we have a dog living in our house.

I guess, if I am going to be truthful, it's partly my fault.

I always have a story.......

Paul started this whole thing a couple of weeks ago saying he'd found the perfect dog. One of the guys he mentors and his new wife, felt horribly sorry for this perfect dog because they were gone all the time. By the way, the perfect dog, according to my husband, does not bark, chew, run away or eliminate it's bodily fluids in the house. The perfect dog according to me... lives anywhere but this house. Anyway, he asked if we could have the dog and despite desperately trying to obtain the dog, the dog had been given to someone else who would not give it back. (I did the silent cheer.)

But, Paul was convinced that Jackson needed a dog. "He lives in a house full of girls and we hang out with friends who mostly have... only girls. The boy needs a dog! All boys need a dog!"

Yeah, whatever.

The kids got wind of this perfect dog, which is another story, and they began scouring the internet for another perfect dog.

Well, Friday, I was on Facebook and I saw a friend who was trying to give away a Cocker Spaniel that was supposedly a great dog. "Yeah, well, then why are they getting rid of it?"

But, something possessed me to call Paul and tell him about it.

Now, why would I do that?

So, he called and then calls me to tell me, "April!!! It's the perfect dog!"

All these perfect dogs are appearing out of nowhere.

I agreed to go "see" the dog. It just so happened that we were going to my mom's that night and our friends and the dog only live 5 minutes from my mom.

We stopped to see the dog.

It was like seeing Emme for the first time. I couldn't believe how little the dog was and I couldn't believe how cute the dog was.... and I don't even like dogs FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

We took her out into their huge, unfenced backyard that connected to endless soccer fields. Our friend would walk far away and yell for her and she would would run right over to him. I could tell right away that she was a sweet dog... and then I heard her story.

Her name's Taffy, by the way.

Our friends, Jacob and Sheila, just moved back to our area from the deep south. They have 4 children under the age of 6, and they are living with her parents until they find a house.

They were not planning on a dog. One day, however, they went out to a farm to buy something. On the back of the property, Taffy was chained to a pole. She was matted and had at least 20 ticks on her. She had two gashes in her back because the neighbor boy would come over on occasion and beat her. Taffy, was used to breed, and since the last batch of her pups didn't sell well, they were done with her. "You can have her if you want her" the farmer told Sheila and Jacob.

Sheila, also not a dog lover, looked at Jacob as tears ran down her face and said, "We can't leave her here."

Taffy has been living in Sheila parent's house for the last 3 weeks. Despite being a great dog, she is just too much for them right now.

We left Sheila's parent's house with Taffy in the back seat nestled between my 2 dog loving children, Gracie and Jackson.

We've only had her for 2 days and the family is in love with her.

Even I love her... but only a little bit:-)

I lost the battle. I swore we'd never have a dog. Darn it!