Daily Dirty Limerick

Clinton’s Disbarment Defense

2010-02-20T22:23:30Z

They say truth is stranger than fiction,
and slickness is rarer than friction
With Clinton we’ve found
the rules upside down–
especially with language and diction.

The latest political treatise,
American Rhapsody teases
And generates laughter
because the last chapter
proclaims Clinton talks with his penis.

Bill’s heated reaction was fleeting
when he got his gene-mapping readings
‘Cause his genes present
a brand-new defense
against his disbarment proceedings.

And in his disbarment proceedings,
this brand new defense will be pleaded
His lips will not move,
and that’s how he’ll prove
the lies were all told by his penis.

The judge in such case must be awesome
to measure such jetsam and flotsam.
That must be why
when this case is tried,
the judge in the case is a Johnson.

There once was a lad named Cass

2010-02-12T01:46:06Z

There once was a lad named Cass
Whose balls were made of brass
In stormy weather
They’d bang together
And lightning would shoot out of his ass

man from Bombay

2010-02-05T01:46:09Z

There once was a man from Bombay
who fashioned a cunt out of clay
but the heat from his prick
turned it to a brick
and chafed all his foreskin away.

Lady from Exeter

2010-02-05T01:46:02Z

There once was a lady from Exeter
so pretty that men craned their necks at her
one was even so brave
as to pull out and wave
the destinguishing mark of his sex at her.

First of many

2010-02-04T00:12:12Z

A man took some shit from his wife
’bout the lack of good sex in their life
By way of apology
He whipped out mahogany
And her asscrack was soon in great strife!

First of many

2010-02-04T00:12:03Z

A frustrated factory slave
Tried to have sex with a lathe
But his bold penile pup
Was quickly chopped up
And entombed in a cold metal grave.

Screw Ma’lue

2010-02-02T22:19:44Z

There once was a girl named Screw Ma’lue
She went out west to find her fricken best
When she fucked, she fucked for keeps
Laid her victims up in heaps
But in this town named Bad-Ass Crete
There lived a half-assed bastard named Piss-Pot Pete
With snot in his beard and shit on his feet
He had twenty-six pounds of swinging meat
Well Screw Ma’lue had met her fate
Turning back was much to late
Until this date today
Her drawers hang in the town’s cafe

Man from Mars

2010-01-31T18:28:26Z

There was a man from Mars
he had Balls made of Brass
In rough sea weather
they short circuited together
and sparks came out of his Arse

Man named Jim

2010-01-27T02:26:04Z

There once was a man named Jim,
Who downloaded porn on a whim,
He infected his ‘puta
While jerkin’ his shoota,
And turned his brain from bright to dim.

The once was a man from Nantucket…

2010-01-21T01:12:00Z

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who had a dick so long he could suck it.
He’d say with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, ” If my ear was a pussy, I’d fuck it!!!”