Daily Dirty Limerick

There was a young fellow named Fritz

2007-09-16T15:17:20Z

There was a young fellow named Fritz
Who planted an acre of tits.
They came up in the fall,
Pink nipples and all,
And he chewed them all up into bits.

She had sat in a pretty green patch

2007-09-16T15:17:19Z

She had sat in a pretty green patch,
But now found herself having to scratch.
Poison ivy she’s got,
And she’s itching a lot,
Right down there and real close to her snatch.

I have a strange story to tell

2007-09-16T15:17:19Z

I have a strange story to tell,
Of a woman who casts a mean spell.
Though men would undress her,
Not one could possess her,
And the last man to screw her’s not well.

There was an old count of Swoboda

2007-09-15T15:16:28Z

There was an old count of Swoboda
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
So, with great savoir-faire,
She stood on a chair
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.

A foreman who’s known to be rude

2007-09-14T15:18:19Z

A foreman who’s known to be rude,
Said something a worker thought lewd.
Though red in the face,
She’s got a court case,
So it’s his ass that’s going to be screwed.

I wonder what Christmas will be

2007-09-14T15:18:18Z

I wonder what Christmas will be,
No merriment, good cheer or glee.
Now that Santa’s arrested,
Because someone protested,
That he laid some doll under their tree.

There once was an old man named Fletcher

2007-09-13T15:14:33Z

There once was an old man named Fletcher,
Well known as a terrible lecher.
A kiss he would steal,
And he’d cop a good feel,
From a woman if he could just catch her.

Grandpa’s dick is undoubtedly fickle

2007-09-12T15:15:15Z

Grandpa’s dick is undoubtedly fickle,
Like a typical shriveled old pickle,
For whenever he
Feels that urge to pee,
The most that comes out is a trickle.

There once was a young man named Jack

2007-09-11T15:14:46Z

There once was a young man named Jack,
Who loved jumping into the sack.
For there was his wife,
The love of his life,
Aroused, with legs spread, on her back.

There once was a woman named Nancy

2007-09-10T15:13:54Z

There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.