I know I struggle with this a lot. I don’t like feeling like things are just out of my control. But by giving up your need to control things around you, you learn to have control over yourself – the only thing you really can control completely. I’ve been getting a lot better at this with the stuff going on in my life and my slow recovery from very bad depression. Your mind really does have all the power and while it may take a lot of work to keep your emotions and thoughts in check, it’s amazing the difference it makes when you achieve it.

Absolutely in love with this song

Lyrics:

[Adam Levine:]
My heart’s a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

[Travie McCoy:]
Gym Class Heroes baby!
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf
Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else?
If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that?
Like yea fucked up, check it Travie, I can handle that
Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks
It’s just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks
I used to, used to, used to, now I’m over that
‘Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts

If I could only find a note to make you understand
I’d sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand
Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart’s a stereo that only plays for you

[Chorus:]
My heart’s a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh so sing along to my stereo

[Travie McCoy:]
Let’s go!
If I was an old-school fifty pound boombox (remember them?)
Would you hold me on your shoulder wherever you walk
Would you turn my volume up in front of the cops (turn it up)
And crank it higher everytime they told you to stop
And all I ask is that you don’t get mad at me
When you have to purchase mad D batteries
Appreciate every mixtape your friends make
You never know we come and go like on the interstate

I think I finally found a note to make you understand
If you can hit it, sing along and take me by the hand
Just keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
You know my heart’s a stereo that only plays for you

[Chorus:]
My heart’s a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh so sing along to my stereo

[Bridge:]
I only pray you’ll never leave me behind (never leave me)
Because good music can be so hard to find (so hard to find)
I take your head and hold it closer to mine (yeah)
Thought love was dead, but now you’re changing (yeah) my mind (come on whoa)

[Chorus:]
My heart’s a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to my stereo (it’s your boy Travie)
Oh oh oh oh (Gym Class Heroes baby!) so sing along to my stereo

Yeah

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It’s amazing the impact a song can have on you depending on what you’re going through.

Was still early so I popped into Wendy’s for their fresh lemonade and made a few phone calls to handle some business while I waited for the thrift store to open. Funny enough I saw a lot of things there that I had donated in the move recently and I ended up spending $5 on a workout shirt and a lace poncho thing (both of which fit great and are in new condition).

After that I trekked over to the dollar tree, didn’t find what I want, so kept going to the grocery. Picked up a big bottle of Naked’s Green Machine since my stomach was complaining and I’m on an almost entirely liquid diet right now (solids haven’t been settling well). After that I walked home.

So all in all I walked about 10 miles and jogged maybe 3/4 (me and running haven’t gotten along since middle school track team and not wanting to have to carry an inhaler… plus the whole sports bra issue makes it a real pain… literally). And I’m not even done for the day lol! Bout to shower and bus over to Walmart (since I know Joshua hates it and avoids it like the plague, I won’t bother asking him to come). I’ll be out another few hours since public transport around here takes forever. (Which he doesn’t seem to mind since he’s entertained with anime and a game, it’s kind of like having an easily entertained cat)

By the time I get home again, who knows what I’ll have the energy to do. Running on little sleep and not a lot of fuel here! But I don’t feel sleepy or anything, just sort of worn – I guess that’s alright. I’ve done pretty good the last few days. Haven’t slept more than 6 hours but I’ve gotten a lot done so I haven’t minded as much as I normally would. (Guess I don’t really have the energy to think about how tired I am lol)

My feet do hurt, but it’s not a need to be soaked pain just had to get off them for a bit. Maybe I’ll give them a good soak later tonight cause it’s back outside tomorrow morning too.

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I’ve gotten some good rest since the move which is great. I do still have off days, like right now, where I just feel blah. Joshua and I went over to the park earlier and took a walk down Colley Ave afterwards to see if the coin laundry over there was cheaper than the one at our building (which theirs was a dollar more + blocks away so screw that). I kicked around the soccer ball with Josh at the park, but after about 30 minutes there my allergies were in full swing.

All this pollen is hurting me bad. I have to take meds about every 4 hours to keep it at bay and even then I’m still itchy. My nose/throat/ears and even the skin around my mouth itch sooooo bad! Popped pills a few hours ago and my lips and soft pallet are still somewhat itchy. It’s very annoying. The only good thing is that it rains a lot here so it’s helping take the pollen out of the air, which I am very thankful for (I loved rain before but knowing this makes me love it even more!).

We’re still really enjoying the apartment and we’ve tried a few places over on Colley Ave now because it’s a short walk to get there. I can just imagine how much different things would be if we had just moved into a place near here instead of buying the house, but oh well. We’re enjoying it while we can. (I honestly don’t think we would have hated living here as much if we’d have lived here in Ghent rather than elsewhere in the city)

Tonight we’re biking down to the mall to see the midnight premiere of The Hunger Games. I bought the tickets last week and have been super excited about getting to see it tonight. I’m hoping it stays in the theater for a long time (I highly doubt it won’t) so that I can see it again with my sister when I get to Texas.  I’m going with the expectation that there will be bits and pieces missing of course, just like I have with every other book to movie experience, but I am feeling very positive about it being wonderful.

And tomorrow night marks the return of Fringe, my favorite t.v. show <3 I’ve never been so addicted to a show as I am to Fringe. I will be very sad when it is no longer around.

Just over three weeks till I say farewell and good riddance to Hampton Roads. YAY! :P

Anyway! Move number one is complete. It took a few days and a lot of leg work but we got it done. We’ve now got things in storage and things in the apartment. I have to go through my clothes and figure out what I’m taking to Texas and what I’m packing for shipment to Japan, which should be interesting cause I also have to put in some items for the cruise.

There are some other boxes I have to go through and decide what goes to Japan and what goes into long term storage too. I’m not looking forward to that of course. But that’s what I have in store for the last few weeks I’m here. Blah!

All the stress during the last week or so has been piled onto my already shitty insomnia so now I’m lucky to get 3 hours at a time. And those three hours are spent waking up every 30-45 minutes until my brain goes into overdrive again, worrying about one thing or another. I’ve always been pretty good at shutting off my mind, which is why I’ve always been known for being able to fall asleep whenever. But ever since mid December I’ve been having issues, and the more stressed out I get, the worse it gets.

Now add PMDD to the mix and you can bet your britches I’m a bundle of joy! heh, yeah right.

Tomorrow I’ll be going to look at an apartment nearby and everyone cross your fingers and hope it goes well. It’s not a very big place but the Landlady said she could probably work with us since we have to rent for such short term. I hope she doesn’t get the idea to jack the price way up though cause that’ll just be BS. I had talked to one guy that totally put me off his property because of that. He wanted to jack up the price like $300 a month cause he’d have to cover the cleaning fee again. Who the hell are you paying $600 to come in a clean carpets and do touch ups? -_-

I’ll be very happy if tomorrow goes well and I don’t have to worry about where we’ll be living anymore. We have one week until the latest possible close date and we have to find and move to a new place before then. It’s going to continue to be hectic but so long as things just start falling into place, I won’t lose my sanity (at least, not any more of it than I’ve already lost, probably forever).

Lani <3

Ash

Ada

Xuxu

Batgirl

Alabastor

I hope they are all happy in their new homes and that they never have to be separated from their humans again.