Dishpan Gauntlets

Surprise! Level 4!

2011-12-12T14:36:00.000-08:00

In many RPGs, side quests can be worth vast amounts of EXP. I recently completed two.

The loot in my right hand is my A+ Certificate. Before starting my new job, I was at a point where I was ready to test some of my newfound discipline. I was frustrated, however, by my inability to settle on a direction for my focus. First I needed a quest to test the waters and gain confidence in my new skills. When working on my Professional Development plan, I came across this grand opportunity. It was a challenge because I set myself an ambitious timetable. And because I haven’t taken an important exam in a very long time. And because the material is sometimes a teensy bit dry.

The second side quest was not as expected. Adjusting to working full time after staying at home with my kids for almost 3 years was a much bigger challenge than I anticipated, and everything is essentially humming along now.

For these two epic quests combined, I have awarded myself an entire level.

But now I am feeling a familiar nagging in the back of my mind. It is the same feeling I had when I started this adventure. Then, it was driven by my awareness of my complete lack of discipline and my attempts to make self-improvement hard to refuse.

Now I have the advantage of being able to look back at the progress I made, and realize that although I have slid on some of my goals, I do not have to start all over. I am ready to level up.

I resisted the urge to jump on the fascinating diversion of game design theory, gave the site a face-lift and set up my worksheet.

I've decided I quite like the idea of side quests. My main training regiment is now made of things that I would like to be doing regularly. A way to build new habits and grow. Side quests aren't new habits I am trying to build, rather things I need to get done. Unless specified, there are no deadlines. They don't even have to be completed by the end of the level in which they are started. Although, perhaps bonus points are in order if they are?

Behold: My current Side Quests

Level Up! Hello Level Three.

2011-05-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

Heck yeah, Level 3! About a month ago, I accepted a position in the IT department at New Pioneer Co-op. I figured that was worth 50 bonus points, which means it’s time to level up!

I am still working on laying out my worksheet for this level. With such major life changes going on, it is a lot harder to do! I still like the idea of using this as a time management system/motivation source/thing I can’t help doing anyway - I just have to tweak it a little to fit the scene.

Whenever I play a video game RPG, I play until I reach the point of competency, and then I start over so I can do everything again, but better. Without getting too maudlin, I can admit that I sometimes get frustrated with the fact that I can’t do the same with my whole life. But life, being more challenging, unpredictable, and fascinating than a game, doesn’t allow for new game save files. Instead we get to look at our growing pains - with 20/20 hindsight! But I guess once you get over the horror that is being honest with yourself, you can look closely at those mistakes and use them to fuel future you.

State of the Project Address

2011-03-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

photo source

I love my local library. It frequently allows me to indulge my imagination and curiosity without much commitment. Over the last few months I have been dabbling in sports psychology, with mixed results. Athletes seem to be masters of the great mysteries of motivation. I am very interested in what keeps them on their course, especially in the light of recent “hard work trumps talent” themed revelations. Great achievements require great effort, and athletes are a ready illustration of this principle. I have been doing a lot of thinking about motivation lately, as it seems to be the core of my project. Motivation is a tricky thing - it hides in strange places, it comes and goes, and has the potential to propel man to heroic feats.

In the face of the rather daunting field of motivation psychology I began to analyze my doings a little more deeply. My project isn’t just about motivation. It’s true that I set up my point system as a way to motivate myself, but it seems to go beyond beyond the carrot on a stick I initially envisioned. Are the undercurrents of play and gaming the reason it works for me?

I don't know the answer to this, but I suspect it to be the case. Because I’m a nerd scientist and am ultimately unable to resist the call of recreational research, I have compiled a reading list.

Before I begin, however, I feel I should assess the state of the project as it stands.

There are some distinct advantages to LARP-ing my daily life. I rarely ignore the points where small decisions are made anymore. In fact, I pay more attention to what I am doing in general instead of gliding through the day. I am more focused on my goals, and have to admit to myself when I am electing to put off the things that I know I want to do. It is much easier to view each option as a “could” instead of a “should”, which is an amazingly powerful shift in thinking. For example, "I should be cleaning the kitchen instead of playing video games" becomes "I could be cleaning the kitchen instead of playing video games", transforming my failed housewife guilt into a simple matter of fact. When I look at my points spreadsheet, I am forced to acknowledge and accept the progress I have made and the areas that still need work.

I am closing in on level 3, and have identified a handful of things I’d like to change. Some of my point assignments do not accurately reflect the importance and difficulty of the goals they represent. Since I feel it would compromise the integrity of the training to change the (self imposed, arbitrary) rules mid-level, I have decided to spend the rest of level 2 working on refining the point structure further. In fact, I can only imagine that this is something I will continue to do at every level. The challenge is to maintain my focus on goals (and to reward myself for improving mundane skills) without micromanaging my life. I don’t get points for feeding my kids, but I do get points for remembering to also feed myself.

Merging my goals with an RPG system has forced me to be honest with myself, and as ridiculous as it sounds, it seems to have improved my overall quality of life.

Now let's see what I can unlearn.

“Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions” - Mark Twain

Character Sheet and Important Level 2 Updates

2011-02-12T19:18:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I was delighted to find this AD&D stats quiz online and did not hesitate to apply it to my training.

The quiz results reinforced the fact that I have neglected the physical for far too long. While I still have a long way to go, I am far more comfortable in my body than I was at the beginning of my training. In fact, I've progressed enough that today this happened:


The elliptical is obscuring the science officer's logo on my Star Trek uniform.

I did about 30 minutes of cardio at Core Fitness. The last time I tried to do any sort of high intensity workout, I spent a significant percentage of my time standing outside in roller skates emptying the no-contents of my stomach onto the pavement. After spending the last 10 weeks or so walking daily, I was able to exercise without disastrous gastrointestinal rebellion. Huzzah!

Finding myself in a fitness club was still a bit surreal. Until recently, I was under the misconception that a commitment to fitness was a product (to some degree) of vanity. I thought that anyone who would put themselves through all those horribly uncomfortable things must be overly concerned with their own appearance. I was oblivious to the entire field of sports psychology, and thought that the health benefits of exercise were only available if you made a huge commitment. Besides, I'm a nerd. Sweating isn't part of our subculture.

Oh, how times have changed.

Bobby Fischer reportedly incorporated physical training as a part of his preparation for tournaments - especially swimming and tennis. This was due to the fact that chess matches could drag on for hours, and he found that keeping his lungs in shape helped him maintain the supply of oxygen to his brain. His opponent's fatigue would inevitably result in foolish mistakes as Fischer's physical endurance helped him stay on top of his game through the end. My brain likes oxygen too, so I am finding the effects of exercise and proper diet on IQ to be a motivational force as well.

My primary fitness goal is still the one that inspired me to get on my feet in the first place:

If The Doctor were to show up today, I'd be left in the dust. This cannot happen!!

My other goals are to be more present in my body and to no longer be at high risk for heart attack.

When calculating my current experience points I realized that I am only checking in with my google worksheet about 40% of the time. At first I felt that this reflected a lack of commitment to my training regiment, and that the lost experience points were fair compensation for lost focus. But I am consciously thinking about my goals many times every day, so I know this is not the case.

I've noticed more than anything that I am becoming aware of the moments throughout the day where I am faced with the small decisions that make up my habits. For example, I have been attempting to stop drinking soda for years, but I still buy it without much thought. I've switched from Mt. Dew to Diet Coke since my training began, but I am still regularly drinking disgusting slurry that costs more per gallon than gasoline. I recently added a section on my worksheet where I get 1 point for every time I choose to drink water - up to nine points per day. I still crack open a can here and there, but my consumption of H2O is relatively through the roof even though I often forget my official reward.

Here's to unexpected benefits and surviving outside of the comfort zone.

Level 2 and 15 Pounds Lighter (on Earth)

2011-01-18T15:42:00.000-08:00

Say hello to me at Level 2!

Level up!

I lost 15 pounds during the course of level 1!
I hesitate to mention this, since ~~weight is a measurement of gravity’s pull on my person and I clearly need to get a scale that~~ ~~measures mass~~ ~~instead~~ this was not exactly the focus of my training and because that number itself bears such a heavy connotation. People become obsessed with that number over the others, when really all of them are just increments we created systematically to understand ourselves in the universe a little better.

At any rate, I've lost 15 pounds. According the BMI scale I am still “obese”, but I am pounds away from dropping into “overweight”. As much as I like numbers, I have always had problems with this one. The table is too cut and dry, and takes so few variables into account. I in no way wish to purport that I am in the obese category due to my massive, bulging muscles. I have a lot of work to do and I know it. Hence this training! However, it is generally accepted that the BMI tables are limited in scope, and I am still sorting out how they play into a computative overall health assessment.

Numbers were a big part of my motivation to get healthy though. I had neglected my general health for a long time, to a somewhat horrifying degree. Shortly after my 30th birthday this fall I went to a doctor for the first time since my postpartum exam nearly two years ago. After being poked and prodded and generally assessed, I received confirmation in the mail that my overall feelings of yuck were indeed the result of my horrible physical health. My cholesterol and blood pressure were both dangerously high, and my habit of skipping meals with the aid of a constant stream of Mt. Dew had done awful things to the rest of me.

My brain likes to have data to be reassured that I am following a logical course of actions, and seeing the numbers in print shocked me into paying a little more attention to my poor cardiovascular system. I changed my diet significantly, and made it a priority to walk at least 30 minutes every weekday. At my checkup last week, my blood pressure was beautifully normal! Remembering those numbers helps me put one foot in front of the other on the days when walking in the mall feels a bit lackluster.

My track, until Nature is more inviting

When I look back on my goals for level 1, I am reminded that they were not entirely physical. I increased the amount of time I spent reading things offline, and every day I made a little more progress in the battle called Housework. I spent more of my free time doing the things that I wanted to spend my free time doing, and I finished some huge projects that had been looming for months. I didn’t master everything that I put on my list, but I did get better at some of the things I wanted to get better at - and I have proof in spreadsheet form!

At this point I would like to award myself 1 rank in each of the following skills

general foodery
houseworkmanship
sports appreciation
analog reading

With a new level comes new challenges, so here are my goals and points for level 2! I am upping the number of points for the level to 1100, and my goal is to reach level 3 by the first day of Spring. I have succeeded in no longer being completely sedentary, so I am adding a small amount of strength and flexibility training to the mix. I also want to make planning a reasonable garden a high priority, as well as implementing a rough schedule for housework (something I intended to do in level 1 but did not accomplish).

I have also added a stand alone page for my current level goals and points.

Perhaps Level 3 will at long last be the time to implement my tactical housework map!

On Shoes, The Sims 3, and Getting Things Done

2010-12-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Winter has arrived in Iowa, if not officially then in spirit. Which means it is cold, and the terrain has become treacherous. Appropriate footwear is imperative.

Anyone who has tried to endure a Midwest winter in a pair of Converse All Stars will tell you that it is a fool’s endeavor. The canvas upper does nothing to keep out the cold and wet, and frankly, neither do the soles.

So this is the year that I say finally say goodbye to a steadfast pair of shoes. They’ve carried me on many adventures, pushed strollers many miles, and even attempted to dance a fair number of times.

It’s actually not the first time I’ve said this. I’ve worn them on vacation the last two years in a row, assuming the Florida beaches and lovely warm water from the gulf would transform them into something unwearable upon my return. There are more holes in the uppers than I can recall, and the soles have worn through in that way only Chuck Taylor’s can do. They keep hanging on. It is time to do the honorable thing, and let them retire.

On the insoles of each of these shoes are some song lyrics, carelessly tattooed in black sharpie as a means of distraction during an art history review session years ago. “One brick today is one less for tomorrow.”

The song is a little harsh on the ears for those not acclimated to hardcore punk, but the lyrics have always been a source of motivation in the face of insurmountable tasks the universe offers. Housework has fallen into this category for me for a long while. Even though I continue to make small victories, the war feels overwhelming.

I often find myself making real life comparisons to the computer game series The Sims. I’m sure this is because the game is well designed and thoroughly researched, and not because I have trouble separating fantasy and reality. In the game, various human needs (hunger, energy, hygiene, social interaction) are represented by little status meters. The status meters feed into an overall mood meter, and the player is rewarded for keeping these meters in a satisfactory zone. A character will be distressed by some need going unattended for too long or by an unpleasant external influence, and the player needs to remedy this in whatever way they see fit. Tending to the need briefly improves the overall mood immensely, even if the problem is not completely resolved. Like having a snack to take the appease a grumbling tummy.

I’ve tried to apply this mindset to my domestic duties, implementing new strategies such as “If You pick it up, You put it where it belongs, no matter where it was when You found it”. (This is a rule I intuitively want to enforce with my children in conjecture with fascinating bits of litter, but rationally struggle with commanding them to embrace festering things.) Mostly this is successful, but sometimes this approach means I have to completely reassess my way of thinking.

For example, my default approach to any task is this: observe, classify, sort, do whatever needs to be done, reassess. This approach has served me well for many years, even though I often spend more time making lists than actually doing things. Then I had children. Doing laundry for a family of four means that I am often interrupted in my process before reaching the end. Which leaves me with piles of terribly organized laundry and a job that is not, ultimately, anywhere closer to being finished.

After thinking a bit about my shoes, the Sims and procrastination in general, I apply a modifed version of my new general to my laundry. No sorting allowed! Well, a minimal amount of sorting is allowed to placate my personal neurosis and hard held beliefs on efficiency: socks and linens may be separated, but nothing else.* If I pick up a shirt from the basket, I put it down where it belongs.

It mostly works. Sometimes I get so distracted by putting away what I have picked up that I neglect to finish the bigger task that was my goal. Sometimes I have a basket full of all of the socks in our house waiting to be paired and put away. It isn’t flawless, but it is an improvement. One shirt today is one less for tomorrow!

*(I would like you, dear reader, to appreciate that laundry strategy could fill its own entry, but I am sparing you from that fate out of the kindness of my heart)

Apocalyst, Now

2010-11-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

It is November, and I am forced to accept that Winter has gone from "looming" to "fast approaching". I have a half dozen huge, daunting projects that I have been doing constant battle with and am hoping to finish in the next 6 weeks or so. If I fail, these projects will very seriously impede my plans for surviving the dark months ahead. (Plans that include not much more than finding the perfect recipe for chai and watching the television series Lost in its entirety.)

In my battle-rummaging I came across what I believe to be the third draft of my “Apocalyst”. I would estimate this document was created during the Winter of 2006. It is, as the name suggests, a list of a wide variety of preparations to be made in order to better survive the potential apocalypse.

Highlights include:

put solar panels on our house
learn to turn the heel while knitting a sock
learn bicycle maintenance
canning (learn it and do it)
research general butchery

All in all it is a fairly absurd list, and obviously most of it falls apart under much probing. For example, on this particular version of my list I have written a handful of sub-lists and points of attention revolving around ensuring that we would have ample ammunition for our various firearms, which is clearly a bad plan from the onset. Ammunition runs out, and at any rate I prefer close range combat in a fight. In my defense, this was before I realized that one of my long term goals in life is to be a master swordswoman (or as close as I can be in this time and place).

Maybe my list is just my way of mourning the loss of a more practical collective knowledge. Despite what my bookshelf may have to say on the subject, I am no survivalist. I don't long for the apocalypse, but I do believe that humanity has grown soft and careless. And truth be told, I consider the chance of societal collapse to be so remote that discussing it seriously makes me feel a bit silly. However, I really don't want to be left for dead because I was too lazy to learn what amounts to ancient technology during my salad days. I don't know what's going to happen with this crew when the going gets rough, but somebody needs to know how to maintain a reasonable standard of hygiene without disposable everythings.

If I've learned anything from the Sims franchise, it is that it is very difficult to truly perfect more than a few skills. A person can spread their personal resources developing a broad arsenal of skills, but great things generally require great effort.

This is a difficult concept for me to absorb, as I generally am unable to resist any bit of process, method, or detail accidentally dropped in my path. For a long time I have had fiends such as Robert Heinlein giving me overly brilliant heroes. Unstoppable polymaths who spout things like “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.”

I haven't yet sorted out if my Apocalyst is simply an example of my yearning to reach this fictional ideal or a perfectly reasonable attitude for a positive but realistic homemaker. I don't know if spending an afternoon researching safe canning procedures would be an afternoon well spent, or if it is another in a long series of distractions from the business of getting things done.

This list was something I felt pretty strongly about, just after my daughter was born nearly 6 years ago. I truly felt that this list was a solid focal point for my mental and physical energies, so I feel like it should be incorporated into my training regiment somehow. I'm confident that I can spend a few hours developing a system of feats or ranks for future levels of Warrior Training, but that would be yet another pleasant distraction.

For now I will let the list rest, storing up potential energy for a time when I have the focus to devour the items on it wholly and completely. I may let the ideas bounce around for awhile until they mature into something a bit more useful. If, in the near future, my kids are running around a powerless, lawless landscape in ill fitted woolen socks, hopefully social convention will prevent them from being mocked too harshly.

Warrior Training: On Like Metatron

2010-10-07T18:42:00.000-07:00

On any given day, I use my imagination much more than the average adult (I presume - there is very little data available). I fold laundry as Dr. John Watson. I spend some time as Joachim Loew, working on fundamentals with my tiny soccer superstar. I occasionally chase after wild Pokemon in public places with my children.

I inevitably end up with cupboards full of foods that don't amount to meals.

The downside of being an adult with an overactive imagination is that it can be very difficult not to be distracted by everything in the universe.
How can I remember that I was thinking about making an appointment with a physician when I pull our red wagon across the bridge near our house and see the water flowing quickly in the creek - water that could very possibly have been ingested by someone in the court of Camelot or rained furiously down on creatures we are only beginning to properly envision? How am I supposed to keep soup from boiling over when I am enamored with the picture of a health meter increasing overhead as my kid devours chunks of cheese?

I envision this 90% of the time that my children are eating.

I've spent the last few years exercising my imagination, often to the neglect of other areas of the self. Now it is time to grind a bit and round out my stats. Because approaching tasks with a gaming mindset seems to increase my ability to endure them in general, I've decided to embark upon WARRIOR TRAINING.

My various daily goals have been assigned either 1 or 5 experience points. Arbitrarily.

Here are some daily goals that earn 1 EXP: go for a walk, refrain from drinking soda, read something offline
These earn a whopping 5 EXP: complete general regiment of housework, go to a scheduled appointment, walk for over 2 miles

Right now I am at Level 1. Each day there are technically 60 points up for grabs, but realistically I am hoping to average around 40. When I hit 1000 EXP, I level up (w00t!) and reassess my goals.

Seem like a lot to keep track of? No worries. I have a google worksheet.

I decided to call this ridiculous system of motivation "Warrior Training" after a long and harrowing afternoon with my 5 year old. We were about 1.5 miles in to a 2 mile walk, and morale was low. We talked about awesome lady characters that she could remember (like Mulan) who would be able to walk really really far without getting tired. We decided that we were doing warrior training, and it made the last hill a lot easier to scale.

Presumably at some point I will level up to the point where I have reached the emotional/psychological maturity of my peers and will then transcend this RPG based motivation to grow. Today, however, it made wielding the Swiffer a little more enjoyable.

I daresay introductions are in order

2010-10-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

First and foremost I am a nerd. One of those up-at-3 a.m.-covered-in-a-fine-layer-of-powdered-cheese-but-I'm-totally-about-to-level-up-you-guys kind of nerds. I reorganize file systems for fun. I read about digital copyright law in between episodes of Doctor Who.

But I'm also a (rubbish) housewife. I managed to marry and create two dork spawn, and now find myself in a position I never ever bothered to imagine myself in. I don't know if it's the undercurrent of androgyny and social confusion flowing beneath nerd nature in general, but the role of homemaker does not come naturally to me. So, I've decided to roleplay it.

This "homemaking" is my great new adventure. I vow here and now to build my skills and arsenal and conquer this land!

(Yes, I realize that I am LARP-ing solo to get my house clean. I am totally comfortable with this.)