DIVA IN MALAWI

Lake Malawi

2012-02-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

I was at the lake with the manz last weekend in Salima to be exact damn it was amazing… I think I want to grow old at the lake I want to wake up to the sound of his heart beat and that sunrise pure bliss

Hello Fate

2011-11-12T01:03:00.000-08:00

I have always given the best of my heart to people that don’t deserve it. It’s so weird because normally I know this when I’m doing so, I’m usually powerless to the desires of my heart.

It’s like what Meredith said (Grey’s Anatomy) I keep hitting myself with a hummer maybe because I like the way it hurts when I stop. Is every woman like me addicted to the self distraction button?

I have been reading a lot on love, choices and fate. I have always been a big believer in choices. I learnt in my teens that the choices we make today will be pretty much what we shall call fate in days to come. This concept has worked so well in all other areas in my life, career, friendship, education and social life, apart from my love life, after every heart break 3 too many for one life time. I look at myself and tell myself to start loving what’s good for me, to choose well and not go for the obvious kill.

Only if my head and my heart communicated they would follow this theory of BS. So I go in a circle and I like someone and go for the obvious kill. I then tell myself its fate fuck choices after all it feels good soo good the moment its “fate”

For now I’m in fate zone so until I go back to black hello fate.

THAT MOMENT

2011-10-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a moment, you look at a guy and you don’t get why or how you ever like/loved them… I had that moment recently.

I remember my heart doing all sorts of funky shit every time I would see this guy, every time someone would mention his name I would get a little jealous moment and listen in to hear what it was they wanted to say about him… yes I was in too deep.

I didn’t actually know what it was I liked about this particular guy. I’m one of those girls that like specific things about a guy… e.g I had a thing for paramedics so I dated one, they are usually stupid things but reasons never the less. So going back to this guy it was just, attraction but I couldn’t pin point what it was about him I was attracted to.

Well now I know I get it why the universe fought so hard to keep me away from him… he is everything I hate in a man… unpredictable, unreliable, rude, promiscuous, not sure where he is going with his life… and most of all just generally out of control…

So this is to say to who ever who is in charge of match making thanks so fucking much…

DIVA IN MALAWI: 48 Hours...

2011-08-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: 48 Hours...: "So recently I learned that apparently the first 48 hours are trivial... you maybe asking 48 hours of what.... 1. If your fall from a roof..."

48 Hours...

2011-08-11T05:59:00.000-07:00

So recently I learned that the first 48 hours are trivial...

You maybe asking 48 hours of what???....

1. If your fall from a roof of a building and you are in a coma.. the first 48 hours are crucial for your survival.... most likely if you don't get out of that coma in that 48 hours you may never recover....

2. I'm told if you go for a job interview they are more likely to call you, in the first 48 hours after that job interview, if you have been successful.

3. In some countries if you have been arrested they have to charge you with some sort of a crime within 48 hours or release you.

So I have come to conclude that 48 hours is the key.... "a key to what" you may ask? to a few things, if I knew this when I was 16 it would have stopped me from waiting for some things.

So if you give your number to a guy and he doesn't call you 48 hours later, please stop waiting by the phone... he will not call.

If you went on a firs date and he said he will be in touch and 48 hours later he still hasn't, did you guess it.... maybe you didn't... so I will tell you... he will not call you... he probably realized you are more interesting on the phone and BBM (after all you can google some shit to make you sound all fancy and interesting) or that you look better on that FB profile picture... lol... okay not to worry am told there is some one for everyone....

If you slept with a guy and he hasn't been in touch 48 hours later.... yes yes hun you were a booty call... move on.... this is why I think if you wake up in some guys bed and your not sure he is going to call you, do your walk of shame with pride.... your behind might be the last thing he remembers of you so shake it... like an oscar award depends on it...

and if you read this and it has been 48 hours don't worry you ain't alone... they are 6,954,812,289 in the World as of the 11th August 2011 you better believe they are others in your boat....

DIVA IN MALAWI: JUST ONE OF THEM DAYS... that a gal goes thru....

2011-07-27T00:13:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: JUST ONE OF THEM DAYS... that a gal goes thru....: "I'm so EMO today... I once in a while get like this.. and before you go there... no its not that time of the month...... I'm so bored and I..."

JUST ONE OF THEM DAYS... that a gal goes thru....

2011-07-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

I'm so EMO today... once in a while get like this.. and before you go there... no its not that time of the month......

I'm so bored and I cant work when am like this .. I thought why not blog. I haven't done so in 7 months....I feel like talking about feelings, love, connections to be honest I don’t know where am going with this..

Am one of those fools that when I love, I love with every thing I have, I must also say a rarely love. I actually have a very guarded heart but once in a while my well trained security guards (that guard my heart) get hit by intruders very well trained at their job and they get past my walls and when this happens... am usually fucked...I find myself in a position where I know these intruders shouldn't be in my life, but there is that stupid voice that keeps going maybe its fate Mads. Maybe the walls around your heart were meant to come down...and I get all girly and start bullshiting myself and start thinking maybe they are the ONE

After a few good weeks I come to realize.. there is nothing like the one.... but at this point my systems are down and the virus called love is eating me away. So I have developed a cool way of dealing with this situation I just accept defeat wait for my heart to break. I mean after all it’s only a muscle.

But how many times can this peace of muscle take this sort of treatment??.

Apparently there is someone for everyone... at this point y'all better believe this is a lie.. a lie mothers tell their single daughters... or married friends tell their single best friends... or pretty gals tell their fat friends....

Anyhu on that note... Fuck Love..... After all its only fair .. love has fucked me up, from the back, front and side ways....

GIRLFRIENDS

2011-01-24T03:34:00.001-08:00

I don't know where i would be or who i would be without my girl friends. women who have no friends freak me out. I have learnt a lot through the journey that i have taken with some women in my life . For those of you that personally know me, you know who these women are but for the rest of you am introduce you to the women who have been there for me from the time i didn't know what a real Gucci bag looked like, they have been there through the worst break ups and have sat with me as i cried and called the men who broke my heart (some just once, one repeatedly) all sort of names to ease my pain and drunk cheap ass Labrini (some nasty wine) with me... but mostly we shared a lot of laughter.. for about 8 years we were each others family and we fought each others battles and boy did we fight them well.... okay i think enough said ladies and gentlemen i introduce you to these amazing women..

MOIRA KALUMA

I remember the first day i met Moira... we were going to the same college in London and our mothers wanted us to meet before we left. I met her at her aunts house, she was wearing a baby doll dress. Damn did i judge her fashion sense, she was so shy she said nothing all the time i was there. When we left i said to my mother what will i say to that gal she is wearing a baby doll dress....little did i know miss Moira Kaluma was going to become one of the most trusted friends i will ever have. We grew up together i remember us getting our first flat, our first credit cards, our first bottle of wine....yes u read that right my first bottle of wine.... but one thing i learnt from this lady is her amazing ability not to judge people so fast, her ability to love and not give up, the way she always put others first. for those of you who really know me and how ambitious i am and the things i set out to achieve this is one of the few women i know who matches that ambition and shares that dream to want to be better at what we do.

EVELYN CHISAMBIRO

She happens to be my younger sister so of coz naturally i love her... but this girl is more than blood to me i don't know if its possible for one to be such but she is to me a definition of a perfect person. she has no enemies, fight no battles and has a very stupid sense of humour if i have a bad day she is my place of happiness we can sit in a room and talk about a table and laugh for hours. somebody once asked me if i died and had two pipo to pick to come back as who would i pick, i said either my mum or Evelyn. i honestly believe she has angel wings hiding somewhere. she has told me not to take my self too serious and to love the impossible, because nothing is impossible..

DOREEN KALUMA

The source of my ever lasting entertainment.... i think i laugh a lot when am with dona that's what we call her.... some guy said to me how does your friendship work you guys are so different.... well yes we are but that's why it works can you imagine two of me.. it would never work. but this lady here has the ability to (don't know the best way to put it ) not give a fuck. yes that's the best way to put it and i some times wish i had that mentality but as i said i now have a piece of this ladies so that rubbed up on me a bit. I will never meet another dona that is guarantee, she is a very beautiful soul very funny and very very royal friend i think she would die defending those that she holds dear to her heart but no one knows how to fight for whats theirs like this next lady

YAMI MATUPA

The only other bitch that can cook better than me on this list...am gonna go straight to what this girl has taught me... to love like you have never been hurt before. oh and when you need to fight like you is in the US army. Yami is an amazing person her ability to be there for you, hurt with you, dance with you smile with you is incredible. i don't know if she knows it but i appreciate her and honoured to be her friend.

I love these women.. and as we get older i begin to realize more and more how i miss them day when were so close, the days we would stay up for hours and talk about nothing and everything...

I have come to conclude that these women are more than friends to me they are my Family.

Friendship

2010-11-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

Friendship is defined as a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other.

So I have been thinking a lot about where I am, where I want to go, how to get there and mainly whether once I get there my friends will still be walking besides me. So it got me thinking about the journey I have taken the friends I have lost. I came to a realization that there is only one person who has been there in my life the only person who knows me but that is not the point of this today, the point of writing this today is because I feel like am losing some friends, I feel like its either am growing at a speed of light and the ain't or the other way round.

I want to be able to write about my true feelings on this blog, and at this moment as am writing this I can feel it that this the end of an era. I think every person serves a purpose in life some come in your life to teach you one lesson some just to walk with you, but what would you rather a person who stay for a short while and teaches you something you will carry of the rest of your journey or a person who walks with you half that journey but teaches you nothing.....

WHAT IS LOVE????

2010-09-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

SO I couldn't sleep last night.. Because all I could think of was love, past love and present love.

So it got me thinking can anyone really define love

What is love? I think this is one of the most difficult questions for mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true...

I personally think I have been in real love once.. and in that moment of loving that one person, I was the most vulnerable, the happiest I had been, but then we lost it all somewhere down the line he lost me or I lost him and I really never thought I would love again.

Life has funny ways of showing you that love will come and go and if it is the right kind of love it will stay.

I feel sorry for people that are scared to open up and love somebody. for what is life without love, you can have it all but if u ain't gat that one person to love, you are to me a nobody.

To me love has three components Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.

Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. William Shakespeare

DIVA IN MALAWI: HOPE IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL

2010-09-15T02:47:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: HOPE IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL: "Poverty is not going empty for a single day and getting something to eat the next day. Poverty is going empty with no hope for the future. ..."

HOPE IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL

2010-09-15T02:16:00.000-07:00

Poverty is not going empty for a single day and getting something to eat the next day. Poverty is going empty with no hope for the future.

Poverty is getting nobody to feel your pain and poverty is when your dreams go in vain because nobody is there to help you. Poverty is watching your mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters die in pain and in sorrow just because they couldn't get something to eat.

Poverty is hearing your grandmothers and grandfathers cry out to death to come take them because they are tired of this world. Poverty is watching your own children and grandchildren die in your arms but there is nothing you can do. Poverty is watching your children and grandchildren share tears in their deepest sleep.

Poverty is suffering from HIV/AIDS and dying a shameful death but nobody seems to care". " Poverty is when you hide your face and wish nobody could see you just because you feel less than a human being. Poverty is when you dream of bread and fish you never see in the day light. Poverty is when people accuse you and prosecute you for no fault of yours but who is there to say some for you?

Poverty is when the hopes of your fathers and grandfathers just vanish within a blink of an eye. I know poverty and I know poverty just like I know my father's name. Poverty never sleeps. Poverty works all day and night. Poverty never takes a holiday.

Malawi is one of the poor countries in the World .....and i have seen poverty but in the midst of it all My people have HOPE so some times i ask my self what is hope.

The English dictionary defines hope as - to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment OR To have confidence and trust.

So I hope one day we will have enough food so no single family goes to bed hungry.

I hope no woman or child will never suffer abuse at the hand of a man they trust.

I hope they find a cure for AIDS so most of our people will stop suffering.

I hope that everyone will have access to the legal system so every man or woman will get justice.

HOPE oh I hope for so much for my country. most people go to bed with the hope that things will be better when they wake up. I love the people of this lands especially the ones in extreme poverty satiation the ones that have absolutely nothing because they never complain or get depressed about the many problems have they just HOPE and do the best they can to get by.

So to all of you that have food on your table, a roof over your heads, in good health take a second before you start complaining and think "how life could have been if all you had was HOPE"

DIVA IN MALAWI: women in My Africa

2010-09-14T01:42:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: women in My Africa: "Following is Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s message to the African Union session on gender in Addis Ababa, 6 July: In the past year alone, ..."

women in My Africa

2010-09-14T01:12:00.000-07:00

Following is Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s message to the African Union session on gender in Addis Ababa, 6 July:

In the past year alone, Africa’s women have made great strides forward. I congratulate the African Union (AU) on electing five women out of a total of 10 commissioners. This reflects growing recognition that gender balance is crucial to all areas of the AU’s work. I also commend African States for adopting the Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa to the African Charter on Human Rights, as well as including gender considerations in the protocol that establishes the Peace and Security Council. And of course, I warmly congratulate Gertrude Mongella -- a long-standing friend of the United Nations -- on her election as the first President of the Pan-African Parliament.

Increasingly, Africans understand that their continent cannot develop unless its women exercise real power -- in the home, in the local community, in the nation, and in the Union itself. Indeed, the New Partnership for Africa’s Development has set women’s advancement, along with the eradication of poverty, as its two key long-term objectives. But let us be clear: inextricably linked with both of those is the need to halt the spread of HIV/AIDS. The epidemic is proving a devastating obstacle to development, while taking an increasing and terrifying toll on Africa’s women. But women also have an indispensable part to play in all aspects of the struggle against it.

No less important is recognition of the role of women in the work for peace and security. Time and again, women have played a constructive and essential part in peace processes. They are gradually finding a place at the negotiating table, in the implementation of peace agreements, in post-conflict rehabilitation, reconstruction and disarmament. It is high time they were included in those processes in a more formalized way, at all levels and at all stages.

I deplore the fact that sexual and gender-based violence continues to be used as a weapon of war in African conflicts. In parts of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and in the Darfur region of Sudan, gender-based violence has reached almost epidemic proportions. Every effort must be made to halt this odious practice, and bring the perpetrators to justice.

I urge African States to do everything they can to translate into reality the objectives of United Nations Security Council resolution 1325 on women, peace and security -- and to do so without delay, since implementation of this landmark document will be reviewed by the Council in October this year.

I hope that this gathering will bring fresh impetus and resolve to Africa’s efforts for the advancement of women, and help you build further on your achievements so far. The United Nations will continue to do all it can to support you in that mission.

Malawi...is far behind in promoting women and helping them to become what they indeed should be. I put most of these blames on women themselves... ever since I came back to Malawi, I have noticed that women in my country lack ambition and if the do have it its for the wrong goals (to marry and have children) don't get me wrong I would like to have all that but I am one hell of an independent woman and very ambitious am a go getter and I anything a man can do I can do better.

What women don't understand is that GOD blessed us with a multitasking brain so we can run companies, have a husband, children, and all the things we want. It pains me to see the women in my country focusing on all the wrong battles most of them seem defeated before they even go into battle. They are fighting poverty, AIDS, lack of self esteem and cheating husbands.....

For example I have a Friend let’s call her Mary. Mary was one of the most intelligent girl in my year at high school she passed her MSCE with flying colors went to university met a man fell in love and got married had a baby. know I met her at the market the other day and she told me that he convinced to drop out of university to look after the baby and that she will go back to university when he is done with university, and she did so now years have passed he graduated at the top of his class got picked by one of the NGOs. He now sleeps around, doesn't even hide it and I said why cant you live him move back home and go back to uni... she reply I have AIDS my parents passed away I have no money, no job and no one will take me in....

I did shed a tear but it got me thinking if it was the other way around he would have never sacrificed his future for her..Why do we sacrifice ours for them? How are we going to change a nation or a continent with this sort of mentality, for this trend is passed from mother to daughter. My aunt said to me the other day, when I said I want to go back to university to do my master "no man is going to marry you if you are too educated" and its sad to say such is true in the mentality of a black man a woman is meant to be submissive and you cant be submissive if you are more successful and in the mentality of a black woman you cant be successful if you are not married.

So are women in Africa ever going to get in power.......

DIVA IN MALAWI: Today

2010-09-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: Today: "Today i want to make a difference in someones life ....for a long time i have always thought i was going to be a some one in life i believe ..."

DIVA IN MALAWI: Death

2010-09-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

DIVA IN MALAWI: Death: "so ...i couldnt sleep last night all i could think about was death....i hate death i mean am so sure no one likes it... but we all have to g..."

Death

2010-09-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

So ...I couldn’t sleep last night all I could think about was death....I hate death, i mean I am so sure no one likes it... but we all have to go through it. I personally have lost a lot of people close to me. mainly my dad Lackson Chisambiro Snr. he was the best dad ever its been a while, but every time someone I know loses a father it all comes back to me the painful memories shooting my heart one by one slowly I remember the painful event of the worst three days ever and the worst part of it was watching my mum grieve. I never got it back then but I do now I mean when I love a man and I lose them my heart bleeds and I cant sleep, I get so angry, a shamed don't feel beautiful but in all this I know that I will love again. but try to envision a woman (my mum) who has lost the man she shared a bed with in so many years had 4 kids with can you imagine her pain knowing he is not going to walk through the door ever or tell her she is beautiful and that she is a good mother, wife, sister and Friend. how do you get past that.... so for me that is why I hate death not only did it take my father away it took away apart of my mums heart with it.

So today is a sad day for me.....RIP LACKSON CHISAMBIRO....you were my dad and I couldn't ask for more... I hope you are proud of the woman I have grown up to be. I wish you saw me graduate, or see the things am trying to achieve, and most of all when I get married walk me down the aisle all help me name my first child...MISS U MUCH

Malawi

2010-03-26T02:08:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps ....well most of you may not know where Malawi is ....it is in Africa .....and a very beutiful peaceful country.......Malawi means flames of fire .......and hu am I ....welll am a woman born in Malawi lived in UK for sooooo long and now back home ......and most of you may ask why blog well I guess u have to keep coming back .......lol

I am a very ambitious young lady I like to think that one day I will be the first woman to run the united nation .....and am going to do that in my hot pink Jimmy Choo shoes ...one might ask Jimmy Choo and you live in Malawi......yes people ....am a preety , educated, and Malawian ...and I love shoes.......