Reflections of Life

Enter the Unknown

2015-10-30T00:07:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury
© 2015. All rights reserved.

As children we were not concerned with the trials and tribulations of adulthood. We were in a state of innocence – a period of our lives not contaminated by someone else’s knowledge and their worldview. Everyone around us was equal. We did not see sexual, racial and religious inequity. All we saw were other children like us despite some not being quite the same as we were.

As a child we very rarely were inhibited to enter into the unknown without fear. It was guided by curiosity and our desire to explore things outside our worldview. We had not yet fallen victim to someone else’s dictate that “you can’t do that.” The unknown intrigued us and repelled us away from those that said we could not do something.

Somewhere along the spectrum of life we begin to retain knowledge given to us by others. We increasingly become beholden to what others think, and stop thinking for ourselves. We may think we have our own perspective but in reality many times it is the perspective of others that we harbor within us. Our innate sense of wandering into the unknown becomes regulated and many times disappears into the abyss within ourselves. We become followers of others instead of the wanderers we were born as.

Many unfortunately do not leave this comfortable state of existence and a life of following others. Individuality is subjugated to second class status behind what someone else thinks of us. We become more and more influenced by what we may have been taught by our families, friends and others - subconsciously accepting it as truth.

As we gain more and more knowledge, we begin a quest for answers to questions about ourselves and how we fit in. Sought out are others that we think can help us in our quest for individual truth. Alas, disappointingly, influences of others simply perpetuate our subservience from which we wish to escape. We more deeply bury our individuality inside the dark unknown within ourselves.

At various stages of our life our worldviews are impacted by others that are seeking the same truth. Association with like minded people can spark the fire within us and ignite once again our passionate innate desire to journey forward without reservation into spheres of thought different from our own. Our well trodden existence becomes boring and we begin to stagnate.

Many are content to mire themselves in the stench of negativity that is born of stagnation of our minds and spirit. Others rekindle their internal fires and renew their inner wanderlust due to something they heard, someone they saw or a book they read. They begin to break free from false perceptions and discover the internal essence that has been lying dormant inside us all.

Break free from your false truth! Rediscover what was buried deep inside. Venture into the unknown reaches of your minds and discover what it is that you sought for so many years outside of yourselves. The answers lay in a time before knowledge and we must return to that time as adults to find the truths of who we are and what our life’s purpose truly is.

New Website/Blog Page

2015-09-30T23:42:00.001-04:00

October 1, 2015

Diversity Rules Magazine now has an updated website! Part of the new site contains a blog, which all posts will be made to from now on. Please bookmark the new blog site, as this Blogger account will be deleted at a yet to be determined time.

The address of the new blog is as follows:

www.diversityrulesmagazine.com/blog

Thanks for following Diversity Rules Magazine!

Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher

Coming Up In October: Greg Scarnici

2015-09-17T06:29:00.001-04:00

Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes Greg Scarnici as its October feature interview. Greg is a comedic artist and musician, whose music video and commercial parodies have been viewed over 10 million times on YouTube and a host of other sites. His work has also been featured on MTV, VH1, Fox News and CNN.

Greg just released his first memoir entitled, “I Hope My Mother Doesn’t See This.” It is “a snapshot of an artist coming to grips with his comedic artistry at a time when gay comedians were not as accepted as they are today.” “The book is an uncensored and uproariously funny peak at one of comedy’s biggest freaks.”

TV credits include appearances on “30 Rock,” “Online Nation,” "Nick Cannon: Short Circuitz," "Straight Plan For The Gay Man," and "Saturday Night Live," where he currently works as an Associate Producer. Other TV writing credits include The Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular on NBC and the 2014 NBA All-Star Pre-Game Concert in New Orleans.

Film credits include writing and directing the award-winning indie, "Glam-Trash,” the short films, “Dead End” and “Children Of The Dune,” as well as other shorts that have played at festivals around the country. He has also directed music videos for Kris Menace, The Kiki Twins, Jipsta, Mike Diamond, Pandora Boxx, Sherry Vine and others. Complete credit list available on IMDB.

Greg has also written and performed the shows, “Queens,” “The Buddy & Barbara Comedy Hour” (with Drag Sensation, Sherry Vine), “SEX TAPE” and “Must Be The Music” at Joe’s Pub, Ars Nova, The UCB Theater and on Fire Island.

Greg also produces music with Joe Thompson, under the name Undercover. Their debut album featured the song, “Your Lovin‘ Touch” which was selected to play at Abercrombie and Fitch songs throughout 2012. Check out streaming songs, mixes and music videos on Undercover’s website HERE. Or check out the music page above for DJ sets, gigs and more.

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Beware of Junk Debt Collectors

2015-09-14T22:31:00.001-04:00

By Tony Guadagnino
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Tony Guadagnino is a marketing consultant. Located in New Jersey, his clients are based across the country, focusing on social media to build their presence on the internet. He studied creative writing in college and is currently working his first novel on the subject of bullying. He lives with his partner Mark.

I am a person who truly tries to live drama-free; don’t share your drama with me, and I won’t share mine as well. Gay people have such drama the can drain your entire body of energy. As I get older, I realize that it’s not healthy to be surrounded by drama, so I try to avoid it, even ended friendships with people whose glass is always half-empty. Recently, I had to suspend my “No Drama” rule and be supportive to a close friend of mine (to protect her privacy, I’m going to call her Clare). What happened to her made my own stomach turn.

Clare and I have been friends for well over a decade. She had been building a very lucrative career as a Managing Editor for a national magazine. Sadly, she was laid off on December 21, 2012 (Merry Christmas), and has not been able to find another rewarding job.
During her time of looking for work, Clare ended up defaulting on a credit card, and the account was sent to a collection agency. Upon their failure to collect, the account was written off by the bank, and the account was sold to a Junk Debt Collector (JDC). A Junk Debt Collector, generally owned by private law firms, will pay pennies on the dollar (usually 5 cents) for every account they buy, then turn around and sue the person for the full amount of the account. (Example: one firm will pay $50 for a $1,000 debt, then sue for the full $1,000, plus fees and interest.) Clare had to go before to court, and the judge awarded the JCP the full requested amount, which included their interest charges and expenses (the judge approved gas/mileage costs to the courthouse).

Clare accepted the outcome, and she was informed that the JDC would be in touch with her for bank information to begin the collection process. Unfortunately (and this is the devastating part), the judge awarded the JDC to levy her bank account, without informing Clare that they were going back to court the following week. Clare’s bank account was cleaned out in its entirety, plus, she was charged over $100 as a “processing fee.” Paperwork from the bank reached Clare two days later, but she was not informed ahead of time.

While I recognize the reality that Clare should have worked out a payment plan with the credit card company to avoid this mess, and I am not condoning her fearful avoidance to call them, I am also dumbfounded that a JDC gets a court order to levy a person’s bank account. These cases aren’t criminal; they are a civil matter. Using her SSN, the JDC did an internal investigation to find her account and serve the bank with papers to levy. (And we think Big Brother is watching?) The amount was not very significant, and they weren’t even the original creditors, yet, they made 1900% profit for spending just five cents/dollar.

When she called me in tears after discovering her bank account, I wanted to confront one of these lawyers and ask, “Is this why you went to law school? To sue people who are down on their luck and drain the little money they have?” Lawyers have a bad reputation, labelled vultures or ambulance chasers. I am friends with some lawyers who are good people, but these attorneys who exploit situations on people who are trying to survive do not deserve any respect. I wonder how they sleep every night, knowing they may be ruining a person’s chance of survival. Or, maybe they dream of the incredible amount of profit they just made the company (and the commission that will hit their bank account). If a JDC were affiliated with a branch of the federal government, I could understand the levy. But they aren’t.

Everyone … beware of Junk Debt Collectors. They will bleed you dry. They are the true vultures!

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My Two Cents

2015-09-10T22:59:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Welcome to the September issue of Diversity Rules Magazine! It is hard to believe that fall is fast approaching and the summer will be gone once again until next year! What a momentous summer it was though with the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage throughout the country. It was a long time coming with many legal challenges to overcome but equality and fair treatment prevailed, despite having a somewhat conservative Supreme Court on our hands.

This month’s feature guest interviewee is Ryan Cassata. I would like to welcome Ryan to Diversity Rules Magazine. His interview is great and very informative.

At the invitation of George Walsh of Step 3 Entertainment, I first met Ryan in Washington, DC when he performed for a select crowd for a debut of his new CD at the time. I, along with the rest of those in attendance, were simply in awe of Ryan’s talent, forceful performance and compelling lyrics. I knew then he would be someone to watch and I was not wrong. He has become a notable songwriter and singer in his own right and I am sure we will be hearing a lot more of Ryan Cassata in the future.

Along with Ryan’s interview, as usual, there are other great articles that will be sure to pique your interest. There are columns by our regular writers as well as some new ones! Enjoy.

I want to also welcome a new advertiser - the Otsego County Office of the Aging. They may be able to help you with costly Medicare premiums and copays. Check out their ad below:

I hope you enjoy your last vestige of summer and have a great fall. See you all soon.

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The Amazon Trail

2015-09-10T22:50:00.001-04:00

Dykey Dorothy and Friends
By Lee Lynch
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Her most recent book, An American Queer, a collection of “The Amazon Trail” columns, was presented with the 2015 Golden Crown Literary Society Award in Anthology/Collection Creative Non Fiction. This, and her award-winning fiction, including The Raid, The Swashbuckler, and Beggar of Love, can be found at:

http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com/Author-Lee-Lynch.html.

Near where I live, closeted lesbians built and installed a bench on a mostly hidden concrete path between grassy sand dunes, out of sight of any casual observer. The bench was created in the mid 1990s to pay respect to members of the group who had died.

These women did not dare to name their dead. Even the full name of their sisterhood—a name that included the word lesbian—was too terrifying to engrave. Yet, I can guarantee that every group member read Rubyfruit Jungle and for the hours they spent with it they were unafraid. Because of such books, they dared to gather. They learned to value, in a way society did not, lesbian lives.

Where did this book come from? Was it pulp fiction? Was it some straight guy’s fantasy? No. It was a crossover book before there were lesbian crossover books, a lesbian classic before such a concept existed, and it was written by a radical lesbian feminist who was one of the founders, in 1971, of The Furies Collective of Washington, D.C., and who wrote for that newsletter and for “The Ladder.”

Rubyfruit Jungle helped us to rise from the primordial patriarchal ooze of fear, humiliation and silence. Audre Lorde might have been speaking of this author with her oft quoted words, “Your silence will not protect you.”

This year, I had the honor of presenting the Golden Crown Literary Society (GCLS) Lee Lynch Classic Award to Rita Mae Brown for her 1973 novel Rubyfruit Jungle.

Published initially in 1973 by the early feminist press, Daughters Inc., which was founded by novelists June Arnold and Bertha Harris and by feminist political theorist Charlotte Bunch, this was a novel of its time, a slap in the face of the heterosexist world and a daring gift to lesbians. It, along with Desert of the Heart (1964), and Patience and Sarah (1969), was a voice of lesbian liberation, parting the curtains we hid behind with humor and insight. From it, lesbians learned they might be alone, but they weren’t the only lesbians on earth. Readers felt buoyed, felt human for a few hours or days. It changed lives and, still very much in print, continues to do so to this day.

Author JD Glass, in “AfterEllen,” quoted from Rita Mae Brown’s acceptance speech: “You’re alive—you fight. You keep fighting.” Glass reported that Brown, “...reminded us all to continue to speak our truths, to tell our stories and that if we are ‘defined by our oppression,’ then we are still oppressed.”

The award was presented on a historic night for lesbian fiction. As advocate.com editors wrote, “The Golden Crown Literary Society’s 11th annual literary awards in New Orleans brought together lesbian fiction pioneers Rita Mae Brown, Lee Lynch, and Dorothy Allison, all sharing a stage for the first time.”

Author Karin Kallmaker presented Joan Nestle, in absentia, with the GCLS Trailblazer award, in recognition of her writings including Restricted Country and Persistent Desire and her activism for lesbians.

Dorothy Allison, best-selling author of Trash, and Bastard Out of Carolina, gave an impassioned and profoundly moving keynote address. She said, of a visit to the original Lesbian Herstory Archives, which originated in Joan Nestle and Deb Edel’s NYC apartment, “Oh children, I wish you could have seen that living room.” Her words brought the audience to tears.

The Golden Crown Literary Society (goldencrown.org), founded in 2004, is a 501(c)3 non-profit, all-volunteer organization whose mission is education, promotion and recognition of lesbian literature. Known for its well-attended annual conference and its programs, including The Academy (for emerging lesbian writers), the Cate Culpepper Mentoring Program, and its awards—The Goldies—the GCLS brings authors, readers and publishers together for the betterment of lesbian literature.

GCLS is for lesbians and like-minded women. Lesbian members run it, members do the teaching and mentoring, members staple and greet and administer and judge books for the Goldies. It is one of those incredible institutions created out of sore need by a few dykes—writer Lori Lake, publisher Cathy Bryerose and promoter Kathy Smith—with stars in their eyes and ambition for their people. The annual conference draws lesbians from around the world, the U.S. and Canada.

Seeing the other writers and readers is like going to a huge family reunion. There is never enough time to spend with the women we want to see and want to meet. Yet meetups happen without planning and are some of the best experiences. My sweetheart and I bumped into author Catherine Friend the first morning we were there and we took off on the typical NOLA adventure: Cafe du Monde beignets, a trolley ride and the French Market for Loretta’s Pralines.

One evening we happened across Donna McBride, co-founder of Naiad Press, who I hadn’t see in many years. We strolled through the underground mall to the Mississippi River, catching up. Sandy Thornton, organizer of the Jewel Book Club, a large lesbian readers group in Dallas, Texas, invited us to accompany her while she picked up Dorothy Allison at the airport. I’ll always remember a smiling dykey Dorothy slowly descending that escalator. Lesbian royalty.

I could go on and on with my highlights, but would rather make more highlights with lesbian book lovers and writers in Alexandria, Virginia next year.

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Two Worlds

2015-09-10T22:40:00.001-04:00

By Kristen MacKenzie
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Kristen MacKenzie lives on Vashon Island in a quiet cabin where the shelves are filled with herbs for medicine-making, the floor is open for dancing, and the table faces the ocean, waiting for a writer to pick up the pen. Her work has appeared in Brevity, Rawboned Journal, GALA Magazine and Extract(s) Daily Dose of Lit.

On a day when it’s cold and sunny and I’ve been given the gift of free time, it’s an easy choice to take the kayak out and see what I can find. It feels heavy and awkward after having not done this for weeks, lifting the boat and balancing it on my hip down the boat launch. I go slowly on the wet parts, cautious of a fall, not that it’s ever happened. I have every weekend to myself, and not all of them are rainy. Why has it been so long since I’ve done this?

The water isn’t perfectly clear, but I can see down twenty feet or more through a kind of pale green murk that doesn’t obscure as much as give an odd shape to the things below. My arms are sore from working out and I paddle slower than usual. From the quiet that goes along with my easy pace, I hear a strange soft thump from shore. It isn’t the footsteps of a runner, as I expect. I see an enormous bird crouching over something on the sand, coiling its body to pull great ripping bites with such force that its tail feathers come down with a smack each time it tears a piece loose, making the sound that caught my attention. I listen more carefully, and I can hear the flesh-fabric of whatever lies on the sand held by talons separating and tiny bones snapping. I lift the paddle from the water and sit entirely still, watching, feeling invisible until the bird looks up and then returns to its meal, deeming my presence insignificant.

The boat bumps into the first pier, standing free of any structure in groups of three or four tall posts sticking out of the water twenty feet and extending down into the invisible bottoms, wearing lumpy blue coats of mussels and barnacles. I can see down far enough in the pier’s shadow to watch fish nearly a foot long, fat in the middle and narrow on both ends with black-tipped opaque fins. They flap slowly as they move under the boat, as curious of me as I am of them. When my eyes adjust and the surface becomes still, I can see that the pale orange shadow alongside the poles isn’t distorted light; it’s a school of long, skinny fish, sunset-colored, all moving at the same speed and in the same direction. I wonder why the bigger fish aren’t eating them.

Crabs perched on stiletto-heel claws over the mussels, shells deep red like a pomegranate, others draped in algae, sit perfectly still, just like the sea stars further down, splayed across the naked lower lengths of the post where tides never reach. Some of the sea stars are hunched around themselves, legs tucked in, and I watch closely through the green shadow-water, hoping what I’m seeing is the purple flex of an octopus, but it remains still, and the boat drifts further, bumping into the next post.

The visible geometries of a jellyfish, nothing more than a hoopskirt of translucent structure with four golden eyes in its center, moving with a slow, steady pulse through the water, passes under the place where my paddle hangs from the edge of the boat, dripping. I want very much to put my finger into the water and touch the creature that looks like nothing at all, to feel the nothingness of it. But I don’t.

The next group of poles the current carries me to is a confusing inversion of the sky above: clouds below, clouds overhead. Giant frilled anemone stick out unevenly from the poles far down below, visible through the murk because of their brightness. I can see both worlds suddenly, and neither looks entirely real. The sky is green with clouds, the water is blue with clouds, and again I want to put my hand in the water, through both worlds, connect them somehow.

But I don’t need to. A living link swims straight for me. The tiny pop of the world below breaking through makes me turn quickly, quietly, and I see the slip of a wet tail glide back under the water’s surface, then whiskers and bubbles on the blue-sky reflection and two otters slide across the space between the poles and my boat. One tosses its head back and chews noisily, oblivious to the laugh I didn’t catch in time, answering with a little grunt when its finished eating whatever it was that needed chewing. Its pal comes back over and the two roll along the surface with bumps and hitches that remind me of the gait of a dachshund puppy running fast.

And then I feel myself starting to clutch all of this, the eagle on the shore, the creatures on the poles, the otters and the sunshine, trying to keep it always. This moment is in my hand, I can feel it, and I’m crushing it instead of letting it float free and land somewhere inside where it won’t just disappear when the rain comes and I’m sitting in my car, stuck in traffic.

I breathe in the present and paddle away from the eagle, resisting the urge to follow the disappearing backs of the otters as they move off in search of more interesting company.

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If You Could Read My Mind

2015-09-10T22:31:00.001-04:00

A PTSD Memoir: Healing – Part I
By David Elijah-Nahmod
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

David-Elijah Nahmod is a film critic and reporter in San Francisco. His articles appear regularly in The Bay Area Reporter and SF Weekly. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter.

David developed Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder (PTSD) after surviving gay conversion therapy as a child and has found that many in the LGBT community suffer from severe, often untreated emotional disorders due to the extreme anti-gay traumas they endured. This column chronicles his journey.

I was impressed and moved when I first met Rev. Megan Rohrer. Megan is the Pastor at Grace Lutheran Church in San Francisco. Megan, who prefers to use gender neutral pronouns, is the first openly transgender pastor to be installed at a Lutheran congregation--Megan always specifies that Megan is "openly" transgender, as not all trans people are out. It's important, Megan feels, to respect people's privacy.

I covered Megan's installation at Grace Lutheran for Bay Area Reporter, then did a follow-up interview with her for SFGN. Every time I hear Megan's voice, every time we meet, I feel a sense of peace. Megan is a person who's filled with love for the world. Obviously the congregation agrees, as Grace Lutheran's membership has seen a sharp increase since Megan took to the pulpit.

Megan is involved in homeless outreach, having many years experience of working with San Francisco's Night Ministry. Night Ministry's pastors hit the streets of the City during the after-midnight hours in order to offer prayer and counseling to the homeless, and to help people on the streets find shelter and food. One of Megan's personal projects is to help homeless people suffering from vision loss obtain free eyeglasses.

"Be the change you want to see in the world," said Gandhi. Few people I've encountered in my lifetime live up to this philosophy more than Rev. Megan Rohrer.

So naturally I was shocked, in late June, when Megan needed to contact the San Francisco police and ask them to keep an eye on Grace Lutheran. Megan had received threats of violence which came from within the LGBT sphere.

"Someone needs to track this dude down and beat the shit out of them," stated the Tweet which Megan screen-grabbed and posted on her Facebook page. The tweet, from an account called "no name Wiener," is owned by a transgender woman. As this and other threats directed at Megan came in the immediate aftermath of the church shootings in South Carolina, Megan took no chances.

Megan was targeted due to her efforts to get Meagan Taylor, an African American transgender woman, out of jail. Taylor had been arrested at a motel in Des Moines Iowa on false prostitution charges. Megan was raising funds in order to get Taylor released. The people who threatened Megan wanted the money sent to them.

No less than the Transgender Law Center acknowledged Megan's assistance in getting Taylor freed from jail, according to the TLC website. Which certainly proves that the accusations against Megan were false."

"They were calling Lutheran pastors around the country because I'm 'stealing money from a black woman,'" Megan told me during our meeting at Grace Lutheran this past week.

I asked Megan if the LGBT community was having a mental health crisis due to the almost endless personal attacks which LGBT people and activists seem to be inflicting on each other. I referenced the classic gay play-turned film "The Boys in the Band," in which a gay birthday party becomes a cesspool of gay-on-gay hatemongering.

"If only we didn't hate ourselves quite so very much," said Michael, the play's protagonist.

"All of the people who had done these things to me indicated that they had been treated in a similar fashion," Megan said. "I have deep compassion for their healing process. But their behavior is unacceptable."

Megan admits there are problems in the LGBT community. "Like all things, there are good people in bad organizations, and bad people in good organizations," Megan said. "I try to do the best I can to listen to the ways I need to do better, and to actively work on healing my wounds so that I don't deflect back on others."

Megan acknowledged to have suffered from PTSD symptoms in the aftermath of the ordeal, pointing out that there are around 177 violent church incidents per year.

"I do a lot of gardening," Megan said. "I get nervous when people approach the church. I heal with hot chocolates, laughing with friends, stupid reality TV shows, sacred rituals and rocking babies."

Megan acknowledged that their seems to be a pattern of such behavior in the LGBT community, and that many LGBTs were suffering from PTSD as a result of unhealed traumas brought on by homophobia, inequality and anti-LGBT violence.

We, as LGBT people are the only ones who can heal ourselves. We must decide what kind of a community we want. To that end, Megan and I agreed to organize a community forum on LGBT mental health, tentatively set for February 2016 at Grace Lutheran Church. Our focus will be discussions on the causes of the behavior we're seeing, and ways we can heal ourselves.

Stay tuned to future editions of this column for more details.

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September Feature: Ryan Cassata

2015-08-31T23:13:00.001-04:00

“Stay True, Stay You”
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes Ryan Cassata as its September feature interview. Ryan is a singer-songwriter & transgender motivational speaker who – all by age 21 – successfully cut 9 records, toured the States nationally, performed at some of the world’s biggest Pride Festivals, won Bay Shore High School’s first-ever Harvey Milk Memorial Award, became the youngest keynote speaker for the largest transgender conference in existence, appeared on TV several times, wrote two movie soundtracks, played on the Van’s Warped Tour and starred in and toured with internationally screening documentary “Songs For Alexis.”

The Long Island-native who is now based in San Francisco, can play many instruments but is most frequently seen performing foot-stomping folk rock with a vocal mic, a harmonica slung around his neck and his beloved Ovation guitar. As a one man show, Cassata never leaves an audience bored.

Ryan Cassata writes very passionate lyrics. His words are positive and inspirational to every generation. Cassata hopes to continue living the dream of spreading this positivity across the country and around the world with efforts to make people smile and catch on to kindness.

Ryan Cassata is doing much more than the average young folk-singer. He demands peace, he demands love, and…he demands REVOLUTION.

Ryan Cassata also recently turned down an offer to appear on AMERICAN IDOL. Ryan explains why in his interview. He will also give us his perspective on other important topics impacting the transgender community.

JRK: Can you give Diversity Rules readers an idea of who Ryan Cassata is -- where you are from and all that good basic information?

RC: I was born December 13th, 1993 on Long Island, NY where I grew up. I came out as bisexual when I was 12 years old and came out as transgender when I was 14. I graduated from Bay Shore High School in 2011. I moved to San Francisco in August of 2012.

JRK: Recently you made news with your rejection of American Idol’s offer to appear on the show. Can you enlighten readers about the issue and what transpired that led to your decision to decline the show’s offer to appear?

RC: American Idol first contacted me in 2014. I am not sure how they found me but I’m guessing through my youtube channel since that has the most subscribers out of any of my social media. They got in touch via email through my manager the night before the San Francisco auditions and I figured “hey, I might as well give this a go, I have nothing else going on tomorrow.”

They called me again this June asking me to go on the show, they first told me that they were looking for someone who is transgender to go on idol. They admitted to transgender being a hot topic right now and even told me that all the shows would be calling me. They called me again in July and basically begged me to go on Idol. It took me 9 minutes to tell them that I wasn’t interested at all.

The things that the casting director said on the phone were extremely racist, sexist and transphobic. They admitted that American Idol is a TV show and not a singing show.

JRK: You have been in New York recording your next album in collaboration with Barb Morrison – who, by the way, was a guest feature in Diversity Rules and simply ROCKS! Can you tell us about the new album?

RC: The new album is different than anything I have ever done. It contains a wide range of genres from rap to pop to rock with a punk rock edge. A lot of the songs focus on staying true to oneself, standing up for what you believe in, rising up against bullying, rising up against drug and alcohol addiction, and positive change. There are also a couple love songs. I also did two cover songs one is “Round Here” by the Counting Crows and the other is “Man In The Mirror” made famous by Michael Jackson. Working with Barb Morrison and Jonathan Jetter was a privilege. It was such an incredible experience where I was pushed above the limits. My singing voice improved throughout the recording process and so did my songwriting. I wrote a couple of the songs while I was in the studio, which is a totally new experience for me. My drummer Kenny Truhn (from my records The Theme of Humankind, The Rhythm and Soul Sounds) came in on the drums for this record and the chemistry between us was as strong as ever. I’ve already filmed a couple music videos for the record and plan to film more. I can’t wait for the world to hear my new album.

JRK: Transgender is a term we are hearing a lot more of lately with the recent “coming out” of Caitlyn Jenner as well as other noteworthy news stories over the past month dealing with transgender youth. There is still a misunderstanding of what the term encompasses. Can you provide some insight into what you think it means?

RC: Everyone’s definition of the word transgender is different. For me it means, feeling differently than the gender you were assigned with at birth. Specifically, for me that means transitioning from female assigned at birth to male because I have always felt male. I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding that gender is binary, when it isn’t. Gender is more than just male and female. Also, not all transgender people choose to have surgeries and/or hormones and that’s an important thing to note. Surgeries and/or hormones do not make a transgender person valid, they are already valid.

JRK: Being gay or lesbian is a traumatic experience for a child in terms of the reactions by peers. The trauma that a transgender youth must endure has to be much more intense. What was your experience as a trans youth coming to grips with who you truly were?

RC: I always had a strong sense of who I was so when I was younger and I knew that coming out was the right thing for me to do. I went through a lot of bullying in middle school and high school. I also was physically assaulted when I was a young teenager. I had to explain to everyone around me what being transgender meant because most people had never even heard of it.

JRK: What are some of the most important things we can tell our youth generally about their individuality? What can be done to encourage them to embrace it and be proud of who they are despite a society that sometimes degrades a person’s individuality.

RC: Every single person is different. However, there are people just like you out there in the world. You are not alone, you are never alone. No matter how you identify, your identity is valid.

JRK: What was the reaction of family and friends when you actually embarked on your transition? What did you do to facilitate their processing of what was about to happen in terms of your journey forward?

RC: My friends were all very supportive and they told me that they had been waiting for me to come out to them for a long time. They weren’t surprised at all when I told them.

My family took a bit longer to come around. My older brother, Vincent and my younger brother, Frank always accepted me. There was some struggle with understanding but they were always willing to learn. My parent took a little bit longer, especially my Dad but now both of my parents support me 100%. My extended family sometimes still struggles but it is much better than it was.

JRK: What are some of the misconceptions about transgender people that need to be dispelled? How is that achieved?

RC: I think the way we educate the world about different types of transgender people and different types of transitioning is to share stories and educate. Awareness is key in educating.

JRK: What’s coming up next for Ryan Cassata?

RC: My album will come out sometime this year and then next year the short film that I co-starred in will be coming out. It’s called Beemus: It’ll End In Tears.

JRK: Do you have any parting thoughts you wish to relay to Diversity Rules readers?

RC: Stay true, stay you.

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September Issue Released

2015-08-31T22:54:00.001-04:00

Featuring Ryan Cassata
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

The September issue features Ryan Cassata. Ryan is a singer-songwriter and transgender motivational speaker. The Long Island-native who is now based in San Francisco, can play many instruments but is most frequently seen performing foot-stomping folk rock with a vocal mic, a harmonica slung around his neck and his beloved Ovation guitar. As a one man show, Cassata never leaves an audience bored.

Ryan Cassata is doing much more than the average young folk-singer. He demands peace, he demands love, and he demands REVOLUTION.

In addition to Ryan’s interview, also included in the September Issue:

David-Elijah Nahmod: Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes David’s debut column entitled, “If You Could Read My Mind – A PTSD Memoir.”

Tony Guadagnino: Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes Tony’s perspective and thoughts on junk debt collectors.”

Kristen MacKenzie: Kristen returns with her essay entitled, “Two Worlds.”

Amazon Trail: Lee Lynch’s next installment of the Amazon Trail.

September Travel: Robert Saladarini’s next travel article talks about visiting Vietnam!

Heading to Kauai: The folks from Purple Roofs take us on a trip to beautiful Kauai, Hawaii.

inQUEERies: Susan Thomas returns with her column “inQUEERies,'” helping queer folk with their challenges.

As you can see from the sampling above, the September issue is packed full of great information but you won’t be able to read it unless you subscribe, as Diversity Rules is now a subscription only publication. Don’t miss a single issue! Subscribe now at:

www.diversityrulesmagazine.com/subscribe.html (Please note that the PRINT COPY IS ON HIATUS temporarily, however, subscriptions for the PRINT COPY can still be taken and will be honored when the PRINT COPY returns).

Single issues (through the August 2014 issue) are also available as well as an annual digital subscriptions for $2.95 and $4.95, respectively.

Diversity Rules can now be downloaded from the I-tunes APP Store.

The September issue is brought to you by these fine sponsors! Please let them know you found out about them from Diversity Rules Magazine:

Ace Lundon
Wayuga Printing and Publishing
Purple Roofs
The Otsego County Office of the Aging

Diversity Rules Magazine always welcomes your advertising support.

______________________________________________________

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The Polyamorous Prosper

2015-08-22T10:14:00.001-04:00

By Robert Kingett
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Robert Kingett is a journalist and author who writes and speaks about many subjects including LGBT and disability rights. His journalism work has appeared in several magazines, websites, and anthologies. He is the creator of the Accessible Netflix Project. His memoir, entitled Off the Grid, is an account of living blindly without the Internet.

There’s an old saying that people often say when they’re torn between telling little white lies that lead up to heaping twiddle. It’s a phrase used all the time in movies and TV shows and other forms of media that I find very educational because they make me want to read books. It’s the phrase “honesty is the best policy.”

People are afraid of online dating because they are afraid that they won’t get an honest contestant. Of course people won’t be honest but dating is like fishing with different kinds of fish – some of which don’t know how to swim the right way – and others will never bite the bate. The point of dating is to try something new and meet someone new and see if you have the right kind of bate for that particular fish.

As I’m dangling my hook in the vast recesses of the World Wide Web I come across a young lad that I have never seen before. Usually on this site faces become so familiar you can tell how much they have aged when they upload new pictures. The new picture captures my good eye at once because the smile flashes blinding pearly whites at me instead of other body parts. I eagerly click into the profile and gaze at an enlarged image of this new potential. He’s tall – standing up straight as an arrow, this mocha brown spirit displays his photogenic talent by leaning against a wall, elbow resting slightly poised so that his cheek is resting on his hand. The blinding pearly whites draw me in even deeper upon closer inspection because their emphasized by the smile. His smile is so friendly bricks would fawn over him. The eyes compliment the smile. They are very open and easy to see – the picture is very clear – something that’s a rarity on this dating site.

He’s an erudite grammarian as evidenced by the spelling and grammar he displays when he writes about his various interests and thoughts. He’s a cat collector. This makes me want to marry him immediately. He loves to read any genre. He even includes a link to his Goodreads profile.

Since he includes a Goodreads profile I vow to stalk this ebony deity. Something that I notice, however, is all the basic details are missing even though the descriptive text makes up for that. The height, weight, relationship status, and hair color are all blank. The only fields that are filled in are HIV status and the smoke and drink slots – he’s a no on both. As I’m staring at his stimulating picture, I hear angels singing. A notification pops up saying that he’s viewed MY profile. Another notification pops up a few minutes later and I realize that I’ve been in heaven these past few minutes. A message has arrived. I open it with shaking clicks.

“Hello! My name is Alex. I just have to say that you’re cute.”

This game is not new to me, so I smirk before I have a chance to read the next line.

“I realize that sentence above won’t make me win you over, given your profile, so I want to introduce myself formally. I just wanted to tell you something you may not know.” the perception gets my fingers flying so fast they stir up weather patterns.

Dozens of messages that could rival legislations at the white house lead us to a dashing night. We’re sitting in a flourishing restaurant that I have never been to before, our peepers fixed on each other as if we were born to stare at one another among sparkling conversation and boisterous laughter. We’re eating and talking, emphasizing our good time with flows of feelings and thoughts. When the dinner is over I can’t believe that he’s single so I ask him if he is.

“Am I single? Oh god no. I’m not single.” instantly I feel myself blanching as my brain stutters in reply. My mouth hasn’t even made it to a stutter yet.

“Huh?” I think I’m in Hell.

“I’m not single. I have an open relationship with a guy.” I don’t believe in them at all, and believe that they are more trouble than anyone notices. I tell him this but he assures me it’s the norm now.

“I just don’t understand how your boyfriend would be okay with me being here.” I splutter. He smiles, very calm, not fazed by my morals at all.

“Well, Robert. We all have different feelings and thoughts. He and I have different ideas of a relationship than you do. I thought you’d be pretty good with that. I thought you were going to be someone who we could share.” I shake my head so hard the wind halts. His demeanor has changed to a bitter simmer. It is now that I see the ring on his finger. He’s married. He didn’t have a ring in any pictures on the site.

“No. even if you tell each other what you’re doing, and I don’t even know if you do… see that’s cheating. That’s not an open anything. You’re going behind closed doors to get something that you want to get. You should get it with openness and honesty.”

He shakes his head, smiles, and pats my hand as if I’m a delirious child. “You just don’t understand – it’s okay.” Soon after, he sees me back to my apartment and then leaves, giving me a hug. His voice brimming with sincerity, he exclaims he had a good time. I have to admit, I did to.

A few days later I’m sitting in a coffee shop for gay people writing a news article when I sense someone sit down across from me. I look up and Alex is there. A worker clears Alex’s place, and they talk. Since I’m close, I gape at the matching rings on their fingers. Suddenly, another worker trips and coffee soon splashes towards me. Alex’s husband quickly comes over and mops up the mess. He’s just as friendly as Alex, with deep dark skin and very gentle hands. His smile is infectious.

“Oh gosh. I’m so sorry sweetie. Are you okay?” he asks as he cleans the spill. He’s a sweetheart – he deserves better.

“Yes. I’m fine… well; actually, I think some got on this table. Can you wipe it off?”

“Sure sugar!” he gushes. “I’ll be right back okay?”

As he goes to get napkins I quickly type out a text on my phone and place it on the table. He returns in a flourish, sincerely apologizing that he’s interrupted my writing. He really is a sweetheart.

“Right here…” I say, pointing just to the left of my phone. He begins to wipe and then he reads the message I have typed. “Alex went out with me last night, and others.” As I stand up to leave, a tearful voice whispers thank you. I’m not sure how to say, “You’re welcome.”

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Coming Up in September: Ryan Cassata

2015-08-14T23:31:00.001-04:00

"One people, one nation, one world with only room for love."
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes Ryan Cassata as its September feature interview. Ryan is a singer-songwriter & transgender motivational speaker who – all by age 21 – successfully cut 9 records, toured the States nationally, performed at some of the world's biggest Pride Festivals, won Bay Shore High School's first-ever Harvey Milk Memorial Award, became the youngest keynote speaker for the largest transgender conference in existence, appeared on TV several times, wrote two movie soundtracks, played on the Van’s Warped Tour and starred in and toured with internationally screening documentary "Songs For Alexis.”

Ryan Cassata is doing much more than the average young folk-singer. He demands peace, he demands love, and…he demands REVOLUTION.

Ryan Cassata also recently turned down an offer to appear on AMERICAN IDOL. Ryan explains why in the September issue. He will also give us his perspective on other important topics impacting the transgender community.

Get more information about Ryan, upcoming events and other great stuff at:

www.ryancassata.com

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My Two Cents

2015-08-12T07:42:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher, Diversity Rules Magazine
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Welcome to the August issue of Diversity Rules Magazine! It is hard to believe we are bearing down on the end of summer already. The year has certainly gone by quickly thus far. It has been an exciting summer, needless to say in light of the Supreme Court decision to legalize same sex marriage throughout the land. As the old cigarette commercial used to say, “You’ve come a long way baby.” It’s only going to get better, albeit with setbacks here and there.

This month’s feature is certainly an interesting one. Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes guest writer Joseph Gerbino and his interview with Anthony DeFiore, the founder and Creative Director of Neverland -- billed as a costume ball with circuit music. “Neverland is like a Studio 54-style party” says DeFiore. “Every group is represented from muscle guys, hipsters, drag queens, transsexuals, club kids, and more.”

This month also features regular columnists such as Lee Lynch, Kristen MacKenzie, and David-Elijah Nahmod. Diversity Rules Magazine also welcomes Robert Kingett. Robert is a journalist and author who writes and speaks about many subjects including LGBT and disability rights. His monthly column should prove to be very enlightening.

This month our friends at Purple Roofs take us on a trip to Kauai, Hawaii. It is a beautiful gay island destination. Over the next few months J. Scott Coatsworth shall bring Kauai to your computer screens in all its vivid glory!

Last, Diversity Rules Magazine is making another attempt at raising some funds to get back in print with a GoFundMe Campaign! My focus is always on satisfying both print and digital tastes. However the print version takes money and well, that is always the challenge to overcome. The last Indegogo Campaign was used to pay off the printer bills and other straggler expenses. This current one will help raise the funds to get it back in print and to pursue some advertising and other promotional avenues. With your help Diversity Rules Magazine will succeed in its return to print format.

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Building

2015-08-12T07:38:00.001-04:00

By Kristen MacKenzie
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine and Kristen MacKenzie. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

It’s starts with a tug, my eyes move toward chain link fences and pickup trucks, hard hats and muddy lawns. I get a visceral shove when I see the lumber piled high, pink corners lined up, every piece precise and every piece, potential.

To build is to make a thought three dimensional, to shape desire into form. It feeds me. I don’t just mean this figuratively, as a spiritual metaphor. When I build, I’m creating a home for creatures that provide me with daily nourishment.

It actually begins even before the hard hats and pickup trucks. When the sun begins to shine before I get to work, spilling over Puget Sound like a bottle of rose´ poured from up high, when I’m tempted to wear a t-shirt for my walks on the beach, I know it’s chick season. Co-ops, granges and feed stores begin to receive the first boxes of day-old chicks from hatcheries, peeping from nests of excelsior and all I can think about are tiny beaks and fuzzy heads wobbling under red heat lamps, the dusty sweet smell when I press my nose to a downy baby.

It’s been a dozen years or more and the longing hasn’t lessened. I plan my new flock the way artists create their own pigments, seeing color and shape, beauty and expression in the details. Each breed is chosen not only for her feather pattern, but for what color egg she’ll produce and how often, for her temperament and her inclination to vocalize or not, and whether she will be likely to go broody and try to hatch out eggs even though no rooster is around. The ideal flock for this artist-farmer produces an egg basket like a palette, with shades from deep rose-brown with red freckles to an astonishing blue-green, no two eggs the same color.

When I line the boards up on the floor of the garage or deck, and pry their stapled tags off each end, I’m seeing the fat insouciance of my Rhode Island Red hen, waddling across the yard in pursuit of a bug. I breathe in deep and know the smell of fresh-cut wood will hold the softer scent of fields under summer sun; each nest box lined with straw, waiting to cradle the first egg, the yearly miracle that doesn’t grow old. It’s a wealth that wants to spread, a feeling of both hands full with as much prosperity and hope as I can grasp. It turns me into a farm evangelist, preaching back-to-the-land redemption to sidewalk-and-city-street inmates.

It’s a rare spring with chicks growing around me that doesn’t turn my mind insidiously to other ventures, coops morphing into barns big enough to shelter a goat or two, maybe even sheep for wool, and while I’m at it, rabbits and quail. The picture I see just continues to spread out, like ripples from a rock thrown into a pond, and I see that with all the creatures in my care, I may need some help. When I close my eyes, sometimes I see an old truck parked out front with fenders the color of the apples that grow in the field and a woman who tastes like the first bite of stolen fruit when I kiss her. And I remember what dangerous things those chickens can be.

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If You Could Read My Mind

2015-08-12T07:32:00.001-04:00

A PTSD Memoir: Charlie Lopez Fitzgerald
1997 - 2014

By David Elijah-Nahmod
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine and David Elijah-Nahmod. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

David-Elijah Nahmod is a film critic and reporter in San Francisco. His articles appear regularly in The Bay Area Reporter and SF Weekly. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter.

“If you go, I’ll understand
leave just enough love
to fill up my hand.” -- Rod McKuen

“His name is Russell,” I was told by the vet in New York City.

“No it’s not,” I said. “It’s Charlie.” And so I took a very frightened kitty home from the vet’s office who had rescued him from the street in the Upper East Side Manhattan neighborhood where I lived during the late 1990s. Until he died on December 4, 2014, Charlie was my closest friend, my family.

The first few months were touch and go. Charlie had been abandoned, and had obviously been abused. He was frightened and didn’t trust me at first. He hissed at me. Soon my hands were covered in scabs from his almost constant biting and scratching. Friends advised me to give him up because he was hurting me. I’m ashamed to admit that I actually considered it. Thank God I came to my senses and kept the little guy.

After about six months with me, Charlie began to calm down--I guess he realized that I wasn’t going to beat him, and besides, I was his food source! One night I was lying on the couch, watching TV. Charlie casually strolled over and gently lay across my tummy. As he purred gently, I looked down upon him and fell hopelessly in love. We were soulmates from that day forward.

In 1999 I became addicted to the daytime soap opera Passions, and was quite amused by a core family on the show who carried the unlikely moniker of Lopez-Fitzgerald. I laughed out loud the first time I heard the name because it sounded so over the top. On that day my kitty’s full name became Charlie Lopez Fitzgerald--I had his medical records altered to reflect his modified name.

When I moved back to California in 2003, Charlie sat quietly on the back seat of my rental car. He was amazingly well behaved during the five day journey, snuggling with me each night in motel rooms. He spent the rest of his life, 11 years, in the apartment where I still live.

Sometimes when I went out he would get angry, wrapping his paws around my ankles. He didn’t want me to leave. When I returned home he would greet me joyously, often jumping up into my arms.

When I sat at my desk writing stories, Charlie would sit on the window sill behind me. He was in heaven, in his own little world. I’ve not been in a relationship for many years, but with Charlie in the house I never felt alone. I got so much love from him, and I loved him just as much.

In 2008, a gay blogger subjected me to malicious, inflammatory and false stories which were clearly written out of anti-Semitism. Soon, several other gay bloggers jumped on the bandwagon, literally encouraging a conservative, anti-gay couple to harass me. Being subjected to this kind of hate from the gay and the anti-gay alike left me feeling the deepest despair I’d ever known. For a brief period I was suicidal--the only time in my life I ever had such feelings.

I began searching for a home for Charlie. As soon as I found one, I planned to kill myself. But I wasn’t able to find him that home. I felt responsible for his life, and because of this I didn’t end mine. A few weeks later, the police intervened on my behalf. The anti-gay couple ended their harassment of me and most of the postings about me were deleted.

Were it not for Charlie, and all the love I’d gotten from him, I might not have lived to tell this story. I owe that cat my life.

During the last six months of his life, Charlie began to slow down. His appetite decreased, and he had difficulty jumping onto his favorite perch. He was 17 years old. The vet advised me to prepare for the end.

About a week before he died Charlie stopped eating. I took him to the ER twice that week. On December 3rd I was told that he had a huge tumor in his tummy and would die in a few days. I took him home tearfully and tried to give him as much love as I could. The following morning he barely knew I was there.

On December 4, 2014, at 5PM, I sat with Charlie, gently petting and talking to him while he was put down. Right before he left he reached out and touched me. He knew I was there. Thank God for that.

A week later, I brought his ashes home. They now sit on a bookshelf--I still light memorial candles next to his urn.

A few months ago I went to the animal shelter and brought home a seven month old kitten. I could think of no better way to honor Charlie’s memory than to give a home to a homeless kitty. So many young, healthy cats are put down because forever homes can’t be found for them. And so I saved another kitty, just as I had saved Charlie nearly 18 years ago.

I named my new guy Russell, Charlie’s original name.

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Escape to Neverland

2015-08-03T22:30:00.001-04:00

An Interview With Anthony DeFiore by Joseph Gertino
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine and Joseph Gertino. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

The first Neverland took place July 2012 in Chicago. Billed as a costume ball with circuit music, it was kind of like Halloween in the middle of the summer. “We were an instant hit with the young crowd,” remembers Neverland’s founder and Creative Director Anthony DiFiore. “But we needed everyone to come. We wanted to attract guys in their late 30s and 40s.”

In 2013, producers introduced themed events such as “Walt Disney is Dead”, “Japanimation” and “Ratchet Ball”, along with luxuriant production. At “Walt Disney is Dead”, Brazilian DJ Ana Paula dressed up as Maleficent. For the “Ratchet Ball”, a Michigan graffiti artist painted graffiti on large canvases that hung from the walls of Hydrate Nightclub. During the peak hour performance, fake money poured down like confetti over the crowd.

“Today’s Neverland is like a Studio 54-style party in Chicago,” says DiFiore. “Every group is represented from muscle guys, hipsters, drag queens, transsexuals, club kids, and more.”

Neverland takes place Friday, August 7th from 10pm-5am at Chicago’s Circuit Nightclub (3641 N Halsted). Tickets are on sale now at www.showclix.com/event/origins. They are also available in Boystown at Egoist Underwear (3526 N Halsted Street). Pre-sale: $40 / then $50 / then $60. Visit Neverlandchicago.com.

Neverland parties are known for their elaborate themes and production. Last year’s Market Days event whisked revelers deep into outer space with superstar DJ Boris at the helm, making his debut appearance at a gay circuit party in Chicago.

This year, Neverland celebrates Chicago’s Market Days with its fiercest party ever, ORIGINS. Taking place Friday, August 7th from 10pm-5am, producers will transform they city’s Circuit Nightclub into a Mayan jungle with over-the-top set designs and performers attired in fashions, costumes and headdresses of ancient tribal cultures.

“Market Days draws thousands of gay tourists to Boystown in Chicago,” says Neverland’s founder and Creative Director, Anthony DiFiore. “The challenge for us is to make our Friday night an exceptionally extravagant experience so that it stands out amongst all the weekend’s other events.” We sat down with him to learn more.

JG: How will you build upon last years’ Market Days Gravity party?

AD: Last year we built a metal structure made out of truss and LEDs. This year we are trying something totally different. We’re creating a theatrical jungle set.

JG: Where did the idea for Origins come from?

AD: One of Neverland’s co-owners, Martin Luna, is Mexican of Mayan ancestry, and many members of our creative team are Mexican. They’ve been wanting to do a tribal theme that focuses on fashions and costumes of the ancient Mayan and Aztec civilizations, because these societies created things of such profound beauty. It’s our way of helping to immortalize ancient Mayan and Aztec fashions and costumes, by recreating and showcasing these pieces with high-quality construction and artisanship.

JG: How do Neverland parties compare with the dance festivals that have swept Europe?

AD: Neverland is a team of artists, so we’re art-focused but also a little edgy and very much American. Look at our Ratchet Ball. You just wouldn’t see that in one of the big European brands. WE Party did a money theme, but we had our “Bougie Ball” and got real slang and conceptual. Neverland is very young; all the staff are in their 20s and early 30s. We go to parties, we follow current style, we know what’s going on. We don’t want to create anything that people in our age range can’t identify with.

JG: Neverland is also renowned for its theatrics. What will you be showcasing at Origins?

AD: We are working on two big performances, one with Shea Coulee and the other with Aurora Sexton. I’ll also point out that since this theme was handpicked by our costume designers, Martin Luna and Raul Red
aggio, they are more dedicated than I’ve ever seen them in creating over-the-top looks for the dancers and performers.

JG: Will the Neverland go-go dancers be there in all of their wild jungle glory?

AD: We’ll have seven gogo dancers for Origins: many of them from out of Chicago.

JG: How can revelers join in on the fun?

AD: If you want to dress up, great! If not, come dressed however you want! Circuit is the perfect venue for the party, because in addition to being right in Boystown, there’s a huge dance floor for guys that want to dance and private booths and spaces where people can have drinks and watch the shows on stage.

JG: DJs Isaac Escalante and Alain Jackinsky will headline this year’s party together.

AD: I saw Isaac Escalante and Alain Jackinsky spin together at Winter Party in Miami. They produced some of the best music of the weekend. Since both are friends of ours and have spun for Neverland individually, I asked them right after the set if they’d be willing to spin together for us at Market Days. Anyone who attended that magical night in Miami will be counting down the days!

JG: August 7th is right around the corner. What’s left to do to make this party a spectacle?

AD: Not much, just work our asses off!

JG: Are these parties a labor of love for you?

AD: The best part about Neverland is that I only bring in people who are the very best at what they do. It’s why you look at our alumni and you see famous names like Alexander Knox (Project Runway), Trixie Mattel, Pearl, and Gia Gunn. I only work with people who are driven and brilliant. When you get a team of passionate people with a united goal, you can do anything. In our case, it’s getting a bunch of artists to design a fun dance party. Not brain surgery, but you’d be surprised how much work it takes!

JG: Is there pressure to one-up yourself from Pride?

AD: I think of it as more of an exciting challenge. I see today, but I also have my eyes on Neverland in five to ten years from now. I see the potential for what we can become, and there will never come a point when I say, “I can’t top that.”

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inQUEERies

2015-07-14T07:18:00.001-04:00

By Susan K. Thomas
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Susan K. Thomas is a lecturer in English at the University of Kansas where she spreads the good gay word through LGBT literature and first year composition courses. She is currently researching the impact of HIV/AIDS on the LGBT community in Kansas. She has two cats, Hannah and Hamlet (Ham).

Q. My partner was recently diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Now that we’re over the shock (kind of), I’d like to do something special for her. Taking a trip is out right now because she is beginning chemo. Any suggestions? Jane

A. Jane, I’m very sorry to read about your partner’s diagnosis. However, medicine and positive thinking can do amazing things, so hopefully her situation will turn around soon.

There are a number of things that you might do for your partner that don’t have to cost a lot of money or take you far from home. This is an overwhelming time for you, too, so some of these have you in mind as well.

First of all, if you haven’t talked to your partner about this, find out what she needs. What does she need from you right now? Of course you’re probably planning on stepping up to help out around the house more, grocery shop, etc., but find out where she is emotionally, and find out how you can really be there for her. There are going to be times where she will just want to be left alone, and that can be difficult when caring for somebody, but this is mostly about her right now (I’ll get to the about you in a bit).

Create a space in your home for your partner that is hers. This might be the bedroom (don’t worry, I’m not kicking you out!), a guest room, etc. Make the room incredibly comfortable with soothing colors and furnishings. Use insulated curtain panels to help keep out excess light, so that the room is dark and comforting. If you have children, involve them in decorating by having them draw colorful pictures that you can then frame and hang on the walls. Having a quiet space where she can regroup after chemotherapy or bad days is necessary.

If you don’t already, you might consider joining a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) group in your area. During the spring, summer, and fall, fresh produce is delivered weekly, usually to location in the community. CSAs are great for getting fresh, healthy food into the house. There are going to be plenty of times when she isn’t hungry and doesn’t want to eat. However, when she does, make a smoothie out of fresh produce to help get some nutrients into her. And, remember that you are taking care of you, too, so you need to keep up your health as well.

Get out of the house. There are going to be a lot of days when she is going to be too tired to leave the house, but there are also days when she’ll feel up for outings. Make them short until she expresses that she is willing to be out longer. Don’t overwhelm her with something elaborate. A trip to the park, a drive around town, sitting outside on a patio, lunch at a quiet café, etc. are good, easy, and often quick trips.

You might also take her to get a manicure or pedicure. This is a time when she is going through a lot of stress and bodily changes. Manicures and pedicures are really relaxing. If she isn’t feeling like leaving the house, invite a beautician in to give your partner some TLC. Or, give her a foot rub yourself using a peppermint foot lotion. You might also put some color on those toenails for her.

This is a period when she is going to be feeling alone, even though you are there and others are helping out and checking in on her. Leave love notes and jokes for her to find. Keep her smiling. Emotional health is just as important (and maybe more so), than her physical right now. Leave her short books to read, and lace

them with little notes. Let her know that you are thinking about her and rooting for her.

Remember that you can’t do everything. You’ll want to, but you can’t. I am assuming that you will still be working, so there are going to be times when you need to ask for help from others. So, ask a good friend to be the point person. This is a friend who can step in and help out when you can’t be there. S/he will help to direct traffic in the house, but accepting and declining visits from caring friends, giving rides to doctor’s appointments, making quick trips to the grocery store/pharmacy, etc. Having a point person can take a great deal of stress off of you and your partner.

You will also need breaks, too. Some of the activities that I’ve suggested include you, but sometimes you need a break to regroup so that you can be a better partner. I know that this can be difficult to accept; she doesn’t get a break from cancer, so why should you? You aren’t walking away from her, but simply taking care of you so that you can be a better support system. So, don’t be afraid to go on a walk or have coffee with a friend away from your partner. Start seeing a counselor to help you work through your feelings about it all. Keep a journal and write in it daily, even if for a few minutes (and remember, a journal can be digital, too).

Best of luck to you, and please let me know how your partner is doing. Positive energy for you both.

“inQUEERies” is an interactive column. Readers are encouraged to submit questions for Susan to answer! Contact Susan directly at: s.k.thomas183@gmail.com.

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A Momentous Week

2015-07-11T00:08:00.001-04:00

By Tony Guadagnino
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine and Tony Guadagnino. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

It’s the morning of June 28th, and as I sit down to write this column, I am reminded by the coverage of the early news that the Gay Pride Parade in New York will begin in just a few hours. So much has happened these past few days that I must reflect on what a monumental week this has been for our entire community.

At the top of the list was the Supreme Court decision (5-4) to pass Marriage Equality, meaning that every gay couple who are legally married will have their union recognized in all fifty states. I have so many friends who have gotten married over the past two years, and I am grateful for them to see this controversial ruling be made in their favor. The thirteen states that had not legalized same-sex marriage will now be forced to step into the 21st century thinking and recognize that everyone is equal, and everyone is entitled to love and sharing their lives in a legal commitment. Inside the gay community, the date 6-26-15 will be equally significant as 6-28-69, the date of the Stonewall riots which is considered to be the first act towards Gay Liberation.

And speaking of Stonewall, also this week, the infamous bar received official landmark status from the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission. It is the first landmark in the city that has been recognized because of its status in the LGBT history. Having been born in the 1970s, my experience with the riots is only drawn on history lessons, not first-hand experience. The brave men and women who were tired of being bullied from the police fought hard on that fateful night for their rights. Almost forty-six years later, the simple bar will stand forever in Greenwich Village as a historical building. The people who remember those riots are proud to see progression.

On the night that Marriage Equality was passed, hundreds of people stood outside the Stonewall, the “mecca of the movement,” in celebration of the decision. It seemed that everything had come full-circle, partying on the same streets that the riots had been decades earlier. The energy was electric; everyone was filled with bliss, some people welled-up with tears, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. It was a truly wonderful feeling to be standing there outside the new landmark on a day that forever changed our lives.

Despite all of it, I believe the most iconic image this past weekend was seeing New York Governor Andrew Cuomo officiate a gay wedding outside the Stonewall. Early Sunday morning, hours before the parade, Cuomo officiated his very first wedding – to two men. What an honor that he chose a gay couple to be his first couple that he joined as husband and husband. Cuomo, who had always been a supporter for gay rights, cemented his place in gay culture by his selfless act. I can only hope that more political officials will take the same stand as Cuomo in their own states.

Someday, when we reflect back on the last week of June in 2015, we will remember where we were when heard all of this news. I am grateful to have been a part of this wonderful time in history, and I look forward to seeing what the next forty years brings.

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Finding Comfort

2015-07-10T07:11:00.001-04:00

By Kristen MacKenzie
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine and Kristen MacKenzie. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

When my emotions seem to change the shape of me, and I can’t fit back into my body or my space, the sound of my daughter’s voice pulls me back. I can only be her mother in those moments, and it puts a point down on the map of my consciousness, guiding me back to who I want to be: I am strong, I am capable, I am here.

There are times when anger makes my mind a dangerous place to live, and only strong physical action will bring me back to alignment. Pushing heavy things, moving fast, striking out decisively gives me the sense of control and power. The greatest rage seems always to stem from the feeling of impotence. Feeling the muscles shift and the breath move, I am not weak or incapable; I am in motion and I will not lie down to circumstance.

In the worst of times, if my thoughts persist in circles and I can’t bully myself to move my body, I narrow the focus until all there’s room for is the recognition of basic needs. Fasting for brief periods of time provides me with absolute reassurance of the one thing only I control.

People have fasted for millennia across cultures and continents, for reasons as diverse as the practitioners themselves. In protest, as petition, in grief, or for clarity, the most basic animal need is denied. I don’t stop eating to be part of something. I do it feeling alone. I do it because it feels like the one thing I have any control of in that moment. When my blood sugar drops and my muscles go into spasm, I hold the sensations and claim each part. By the time I feel too light-headed to bend over without seeing stars on the return to standing, my mind is a glass bowl emptied out, filling up drop by drop with only the essence of physical reality: can I move? Can I breathe? Yes.

What was on the outside of survival stayed on the outside. Like a question asked before sleep that dreams may answer, the thoughts that circle like snakes with their tails between their fangs unwind themselves. When I choose to end my fast, there are new thoughts, new solutions, new perspectives. There are questions without teeth. There are problems that have nothing to do with survival and as such are not felt as heavily as they had before. Perspective is restored and with it, sanity.

To look up at a clear night sky and see constellations that are ancient beyond any measure dissolves the boundaries of the present moment and whatever I’ve brought to it. The light above me is limitless; what is possible is larger than the sky, larger than my fear. I share a portion of it with each point above me and go inside lighter.

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If You Could Read My Mind

2015-07-10T07:05:00.001-04:00

David-Elijah Nahmod is a film critic and reporter in San Francisco. His articles appear regularly in The Bay Area Reporter and SF Weekly. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter.

Few Hollywood horror stories are sadder than that of Barbara Payton. Sultry, sensual and extraordinarily beautiful, Payton seemed destined for Hollywood stardom after receiving good notices for her first two films, the film noir thrillers Trapped (1949) and Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950). A year later, she was appearing in B movies like Bride of the Gorilla. By 1955 her film career was over.

When she died a dozen years later, Barbara Payton’s alcohol ravaged body made her look far older than her thirty-nine years. She had spent many of those final years drinking herself into a stupor while she dreamed of a Hollywood comeback in a town that had forgotten her. Unemployable in any capacity as the 1960s progressed, she turned to prostitution. At her lowest ebb Payton sold herself for five dollars a trick up and down Hollywood Boulevard. The press wasn’t kind to her when she was arrested for prostitution and for passing bad checks.

Barbara Payton (1927-1967) is a tragic, cautionary tale of what can happen when mental illness is judged or goes untreated. It should have been obvious to the judges whom she stood before in those 1960s courtroom that Payton was a woman in deep crisis and in need of help. No help was forthcoming.

It’s now believed that Payton may have suffered from untreated, undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Nearly four decades after her passing, there’s no way of verifying whether or not Payton actually had a diagnosable mental illness other than acute alcoholism. Based on her well documented behavior, it’s highly unlikely that she was a sane woman. Her hard partying lifestyle included many affairs in which she brazenly and publicly went after married men at a time when such behavior was considered career suicide. Were these the actions of a woman fully aware of her own behavior? Payton in fact relished all the bad press she received, believing it was proof of her stardom.

The Hollywood power brokers soon began to view Payton as more trouble than she was worth. Her contract at Warner Brothers was cancelled barely a year after her star making turn in Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye, in which she had more than held her own against superstar James Cagney. Even after she was reduced to appearing in B movies like Bad Blonde (1953) and Bride of the Gorilla (1951), she remained steadfast in her belief that she was a major box office star. Her partying, and her drinking escalated.

One of Payton’s tragedies is that she was a gifted actress. In 1955 she starred in the low budget film noir Murder Is My Beat, which was directed by Edward G. Ulmer, an independent filmmaker who retains a huge cult following to this day. Ulmer had himself been shut out of the studio system years earlier, yet he managed to forge a successful career working as a freelancer for the “poverty row” production companies of the era.

Ulmer and Payton worked well together, and the film, now available on DVD, remains a taught, fast paced and entertaining thriller. Payton did good work in Murder Is My Beat, yet the industry refused to forgive her many indiscretions. A few years later, her Bride of the Gorilla co-star Raymond Burr was starring in the hugely successful Perry Mason TV series. Burr lobbied to get Payton a guest starring role on his show, but neither the network nor it’s insurance company would have anything to do with her.

Murder is My Beat proved to be her swan song. Barbara Payton’s once promising career had crashed and burned, never to be resurrected. In 1956, she lost custody of her son after her ex-husband charged her with exposing the boy to “profane language, immoral conduct and notoriety.”

At a 1963 court appearance she told the judge “I’d rather drink and die.” That same year she published her ghost-written autobiography I Am Not Ashamed, which included graphic descriptions of her exploits. Bloated and aged from drinking, she did a photo shoot for the book as though she were still a glamorous movie star, uncaring, or unaware that people were laughing at her. In 1967 she made headlines one final time when she was found sleeping in a garbage dumpster. A few weeks later she collapsed and died at her parents home in San Diego. The once beautiful Barbara Payton was not yet forty years old.

Was Barbara Payton bipolar or did she have another undiagnosed illness? Or was she merely a severe, out of control alcoholic? Certainly she wasn’t a sane person. That she lived in such a conservative and judgmental era very likely contributed to her unimaginably tragic and spectacular downfall. Had Payton behaved as she did in today’s California the recently passed Laura’s Law, which enables authorities to force outpatient treatment upon those with severe psychiatric issues, might have saved her life.

Don’t judge Barbara Payton unless you’ve walked in her shoes.

For an in-depth look at Barbara Payton’s swift rise and swifter fall, John O’Dowd’s biography Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye: The Barbara Payton Story, is worth seeking out. The book remains available at Amazon.

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My Two Cents

2015-07-01T06:44:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher, Diversity Rules Magazine
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Welcome to the July issue of Diversity Rules Magazine! This month’s edition is an especially exciting one since it comes on the heels of a momentous month of June! On June 26th the Supreme Court of the United States issued its opinion in the case of Obergefell v. Hodges and declared same sex marriage bans unconstitutional, thus legalizing gay marriage throughout the nation.

It is a decision we have been anticipating and hoping for during these many years of ongoing litigation. It is a hard fought prize and one which advanced our country forward toward its inherent purpose of equality for all. We are a much better nation because of this decision.

As someone said on my Facebook wall in response to the court’s momentous decision. The Supreme Court “...voted in favor of humans, not just liberals. It was the right thing to do.” This statement epitomizes what this country should be about and that’s what the affirmative rulings handed down during the last week in June were all about -- PEOPLE and their dignity -- which the GOP and the “Christian” right seems to have abdicated and lost sight of for whatever reason.

We can take a breath momentarily and rejoice in our victory. However, despite marriage equality coming to America it does NOT mean all is well! We still have many battle lines to gear up for.

In many states LGBT folks can still be fired, evicted, denied adoption rights and denied services simply for being who they are. Our transgender brothers and sisters are still persecuted, as many of the advancements gained do not apply to them (e.g., open military service).

We have lots to do yet folks... LOTS TO DO. Do not tolerate any second class treatment. Keep fighting and more importantly -- do not become complacent!

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July Issue Released

2015-07-01T06:28:00.001-04:00

Celebrating An Historic Day – June 26, 2015

The July issue celebrates the recent victory at the Supreme Court when it legalized same sex marriage throughout the nation! The Supreme Court voted in favor of humans, not just liberals. It was the right thing to do. This is what this country should be about and that's what this and the other recent rulings of that historic week were all about -- PEOPLE and their dignity -- which the GOP seems to have abdicated and lost sight of for whatever reason.

Although marriage equality has come to America it does NOT mean all is well! We still have many battle lines to gear up for. In many states LGBT folks can still be fired, evicted, denied adoption rights and denied services simply for being who they are. Our transgender brothers and sisters are still persecuted, as many of the advancements gained do not apply to them (e.g., open military service). We have lots to do yet folks... LOTS TO DO. Do not tolerate any second class treatment. Keep fighting and do not become complacent.

The July issue contains a number of articles of interest about the recent court decision.

Also included in the July issue:

David-Elijah Nahmod: Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes David’s debut column entitled, “If You Could Read My Mind – A PTSD Memoir.”

Tony Guadagnino: Diversity Rules Magazine welcomes Tony’s perspective of the recent court decision in his article entitled, “A Momentous Week.”

Kristen MacKenzie: Kristen returns with her essay entitled, “Finding Comfort.”

Amazon Trail: Lee Lynch’s next installment entitled, “Worst Job Ever.”

June Travel: Robert Saladarini’s next travel article talks about visiting Cuba – and NOT the one in New York State either!

Heading to San Diego: The folks from Purple Roofs take us on a trip to beautiful San Diego, California.

inQUEERies: Susan Thomas returns with her column “inQUEERies,'” helping queer folk with their challenges.

As you can see from the sampling above, the July issue is packed full of great information but you won’t be able to read it unless you subscribe, as Diversity Rules is now a subscription only publication. Don’t miss a single issue! Subscribe now at:

Single issues (through the August 2014 issue) are also available as well as an annual digital subscriptions for $2.95 and $4.95, respectively.

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The July issue is brought to you by these fine sponsors! Please let them know you found out about them from Diversity Rules Magazine:

Ace Lundon
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Purple Roofs

Diversity Rules Magazine always welcomes your advertising support.

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The Cusp of Equality

2015-06-17T00:53:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher, Diversity Rules Magazine
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

We are in the midst of the month of June – a time when spring is in full bloom and summer is just around the corner. June is also Gay Pride Month when celebrations abound throughout the nation and the world commemorating the Stonewall Riots of June 28, 1969. It was on that night that the modern gay rights movement was born when patrons of the Stonewall Tavern rebelled against police repression and persecution of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons. To borrow a phrase from Franklin D. Roosevelt, “It is a date which will live in infamy.”

The course of American History changed because of the riots. The month of June 1969 was a major turning point in the battle for equal rights for all people in this country. It fostered a period of rebellious push back against discrimination and police persecution by a sector of society that was up to that point, largely hidden and kept quiet about. Being outwardly gay was cause for being mocked and ridiculed and relegated to that portion of society that was deemed perverted and not normal. It was cause for many instances of blackmail where threats of being “outed” would be used against a person to force them to do or not do something.

Additionally, “Queer” folk could be fired from their jobs, denied housing and other privileges that straight America at the time could enjoy, such as full marriage equality, where one could marry the person that they loved and wanted to spend the rest of their lives with – LEGALLY. LGBT people were being institutionally relegated to second class status simply because of who they were born as. Also, Civil Rights Legislation overtly omitted sexual orientation and perpetuated and institutionalized even further this second class status.

June of 1969 ushered in a new cusp of change that began to dispel the mistruths and lies about what being gay, bi, or transgender actually was. Legislative victories were beginning to be won and openly gay individuals such as Harvey Milk were being elected to public office. Old myths were being shattered and people were beginning to realize that gay men and women, bi and transgender people were no different than their relatives and friends. They were people who wished to be respected and treated fairly like everyone else. Gay men and women and others were beginning to reclaim their rightful place in society as beneficiaries of the ideals upon which American Revolutionaries fought and died for.

Forty-six years later in this month of June 2015 America is once again on a cusp of change with the impending decision by the United States Supreme Court that could, and most likely will, overturn vile same sex marriage bans still in place in 13 states and legalize same sex marriage throughout the land. America has experienced a firestorm of change on the gay rights front since the riots occurred. Who of those people rebelling against police persecution on that hot summer night in New York City in 1969 would ever have thought that full marriage equality would be won and that gay couples could rightfully adopt and raise children directly related to their efforts. A Supreme Court decision striking down same sex marriage bans will create a new cusp of change thus opening the door to further advancements of equality and bringing America even closer to its inherent purpose.

However, since the summer of 1969, forces of resistance to full equality have also emerged and have been largely religious and other conservative groups that feel LGBT persons do not deserve to be treated equally because they say homosexuality is not determined at birth and should not be a protected class. They say we choose to be gay – a choice that results in being discriminated against, being made fun of and many times beaten up with death sometimes the result. Right wing religious organizations and others proclaim that the bible condemns homosexuality and because of their influence in the political realm they have gotten biblically based legislation passed that discriminates against LGBT people, most notably the “religious freedom” laws that have been successfully implemented by conservative legislative bodies in Michigan and North Carolina. With the impending decision by the Supreme Court such legislative actions may become more prevalent.

We must be on guard. We must continue the fight no matter what the result is of the Supreme Court decision. Even though full marriage equality in all probability will have been won, discrimination will still exist, and unfortunately always will exist, as our African American brothers and sisters can attest. Transgender people are still denied many rights that gay men and women can now enjoy, such as military service. Transgender rights will certainly be one of the new frontiers in the fight for equality for all.

There are powerful pro-gay organizations in existence now to defend and protect our rights such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). However, there MUST BE some individual responsibility as well in order to ensure the battle for equal rights continues. We cannot solely rely on big corporate funded, and many times extremely politically correct, organizations to work for our benefit, as many have been subverted by the corporate powers that be to spread a “canned” message that all are expected to adhere to.

In this month of June 2015 we all must make a decision to embrace our individual power to freely express ourselves. We need to commit to the spirit of Harvey Milk and take to the streets if need be in order to achieve that which we are all entitled under the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution. Most importantly, our individual power entails the right to vote. No other freedom can have as much impact and foster new cusps of change than voting. Do not abdicate your right to vote, as we have seen in the last few election cycles what insidiousness can ensue if we do not get to the polls and vote. By voting we can ensure that more progressive cusps of change are created that respect the rights of all people instead of separating and tearing them down. Which cusp of change do you wish to create and ensure for future generations of Americans?

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My Two Cents

2015-06-07T09:24:00.001-04:00

By Jim Koury, Editor/Publisher, Diversity Rules Magazine
© 2015 Diversity Rules Magazine. All rights reserved.
www.diversityrulesmagazine.com

Welcome to the June issue of Diversity Rules Magazine! I am so heartened by the feedback I have been getting about the magazine! Each issue just gets better and better, with more exposure and interest in being part of the Diversity Rules family! That subscription only print version will be back soon enough!

This month’s issue is focused on Pride Month and the many celebrations that are occurring throughout our nation and the world. We have come a long way since that hot, summer night on June 28, 1969 in Greenwich Village when a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations against a police raid of the Stonewall Inn rocked New York City.

These demonstrations were the first instance in American history when people in the LGBTQ community fought back against a government-sponsored system that persecuted sexual minorities. The riots have become the defining event that marked the start of the gay rights movement in the United States and around the world.

As a gay individual, I look back upon my past and remember many gay pride months passing with a promise to myself that the following year I would be among the ranks of the millions of other LGBTQ individuals who took the bold step and broke out of their closets. It took a number of broken promises and many more years of hiding, lying and being someone I was not before I decided to kick the door of my closet wide open.

I certainly have mixed emotions about pride month. On one hand, I am pleased that the celebrations occur. They are wonderful celebrations of the diversity that exists in our nation. I am proud that so many of my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender compatriots have the courage to stand up publicly and express themselves so freely.

On the other hand, I long for the day when gay pride celebrations are no longer necessary. I envision a time when being gay is no big deal and all the rights and privileges that are bestowed upon the straight world are also given to this country’s LGBTQ citizens.

I look forward to the day when the LGBTQ community is fully accepted and society honors human individualism, where all people are respected as human beings rather than minority groups trying to achieve individual goals and objectives. Rather than premising one’s support for LGBTQ equality on the fact that they know someone who is gay, our allies in the fight for equality need to begin to see the movement for LGBTQ equality as a human movement, a movement to get “back to human,” to borrow the namesake of George Walsh’s CD he released a number of years ago, where we start to treat each other with more compassion and respect for all of humanity and its creatures.

We must stand together with our allies to resist attempts to mandate conformance to a false set of beliefs that deny our human individualism. We must sing our songs freely, without fear, and embrace our human individuality.

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Get Your Pride On!

2015-06-07T09:16:00.001-04:00

The warm weather in New York State means Pride season is heating up! New York State boasts of numerous Pride events all across the state, from parades and marches to festivals and picnics. Celebrate Pride by watching live performances and dancing into the night, and then indulging at a winery or farm-to-table restaurant, exploring a museum or hiking out in nature.

Here’s a sampling of Pride activities that can serve as the inspiration for a gay getaway.

May 30: Finger Lakes Pride (FLX Pride), Geneva

May 30 – June 7: Hudson Valley LGBT Pride, New Paltz

May 31 – June 13: Capital Pride, Albany

June 1 - 7: Buffalo Pride

June 4 - 6 : Black and Latino Gay Pride, Albany

June 5 - 9: Saratoga Pride

June 6 - 13: Binghamton Pride

June 7: Queens Gay Pride, Jackson Heights

June 8 - 13 : Brooklyn Pride, Park Slope

June 13: Long Island Pride

June 10 - 20: Schenectady Pride Festival

June 12 - 14: Queen City Pride, Poughkeepsie

June 12 - 14 : Rockland County Pride, Nyack

June 13: Long Island Pride, Huntington

June 19 - 21: Hudson Pride

June 20: Hudson Pride

June 20: Central New York Pride, Syracuse

June 19 - 21: Orange County Pride Weekend, Warwick

June 21 - 28: Harlem Pride

June 21 - 28: New York City Pride

July 11: Staten Island PrideFest, Snug Harbor

July 17 - 19: Rochester Pride

July 18: Bronx LGBTQ Pride & Health Fair
Corona Park

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