Hear Me Bark

Attack of the Standard Poodles

The humans and I drove to Morgan Territory Regional Preserve yesterday for our monthly Poodles-at-Play hike. Despite the rain, we hiked through slippery mud for 3.5 miles. Along the way, I ran across hills with my pals, stopped to play at a small pond, and got chased down and attacked like a gazelle being hunted by a mountain lion. Yes, you heard correctly; I was attacked.

The brother and sister pair, Tommy and Sally, came out of nowhere and started chasing me. At first, it was all in good fun, but when I signaled that I was tired of playing, they ran me down and started nipping and pulling hair and ears. Because it was such a terrifying experience, I shrieked in horror and whimpered pitifully as I tried to escape. Seeing Tall and Short rushing toward me, I hightailed it to where they were. Tall grabbed me on both sides of my body and started getting me away from Tommy and Sally, who were being pulled away by their humans. Short squatted down and I ran over to her, tail tucked and whimpering. I have never heard the sound that was escaping my mouth and hope to never hear it again.

After making sure I was physically okay, Tall and Short didn't make a big deal over the situation and encouraged me to run and play, which I did within a couple of minutes. Thank god for my huge ego and confident disposition. I was running around like normal before I knew it. I know Tommy and Sally just got carried away and I plan on remaining their friend. However, next time they decide to attack, I'm going to kick their ass. I'm pretty sure Tall and Short would have my back.

Despite that incident, the hike was a lot of fun. Also, I'm pleased to report that I came home tick free. Was it the concoction Tall mixed up or just luck? As long as I didn't pick up any of those blood suckers along the way, I don't really care if it was the repellent or luck.

Natural Tick Repellent

Hoping to avoid the chaos that ensued after our last hike in the woods, Tall did some research about tick repellents. She discovered a natural tick repellent, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons vegetable or almond oil (Almond oil contains sulfur, a repellent in its own right.)
10 to 25 drops Rose Geranium (or American Pennyroyal) essential oil

Directions:
Combine the ingredients in a glass jar and shake to blend. Dab a few drops on collar (or human clothing), making sure to avoid eyes.

The recipe yields two tablespoons and has a shelf life of six months. Tall bought both oils, as well as a glass mixing bottle with a glass pipette, from Whole Foods. She mixed it up last night and it smells pretty good.

I should point out that this isn't the only tick prevention that I use. I also get a dose of Frontline Plus each month. Hopefully the combination of the two will keep me tick free.

Junkyard Spoo

My recent tick bite has left a weird bald spot on my face, which wasn't noticable until I got groomed yesterday. In addition, there's a similar white bald spot above my left eye. I have no idea what happened there. Tall Human is fretting and worrying that hair won't grow back on those spots. "And if it doesn't," she says, "I'm afraid to keep taking you hiking for fear that you'll end up more white than black."

I'm inclined to go with Tall on this one; it really doesn't look like these bald spots are going anywhere. The spots, however, make me look scrappy -- like a junkyard spoo. I'll just say that I kicked someone's ass in a Michael Vick-style dog fight until hair around the spots grows back to hide them.

I officially hate trees . . .

. . . especially when they hold my fetch ball hostage. This photo shows a scene from last weekend at the dog park. I'm adding "learn to climb trees" to my list of things to learn before I die.

Close Encounters of the Shrine Kind

I went to the dog park yesterday for a game of fetch and was disturbed to see this weird, rocky shrine smack dab in the middle of the park. Suspicious, I steered clear of it. Today, there was a second, smaller shrine just to the right of the original one.

Many questions flood my mind. Are these shrines intended for nefarious purposes? Is someone going to be sacrificed? Who built these shrines -- canines, humans, or extraterrestrials? And where the hell did they find all those rocks?

If I go back tomorrow and there is a third shrine, I just might lose my shit.

Puppy Snob

Yesterday at doggie daycare, I chased around a bunch of doodle mixes, which suffice when no standard poodles are avaible for play. There also was a golden retriever puppy in the mix, whom I did not care for. After hanging out with my standard poodle puppy relatives -- Trevor and Will -- and friend, Hans, I couldn't be bothered with this GR puppy. Have I become a snob?

Miz Pronounce

I've mentioned before that I hate being mistaken for a Portugese water dog or any of the "doodle" mixes. However, it's even worse when the person doing the mistaking is a total idiot. For example, here's a snippet of a conversation Short had while walking around Lake Merritt last Sunday:

Miz Pronounce: "Excuse me. Is that a 'labadoodle?'

Short: "Actually she's a standard poodle."

Miz Pronounce: "I hear a lot about 'labadoodles,' but have never seen one."

Short: "Yeah . . ."

Miz Pronounce: "I really want to see a 'labadoodle.'"

Short: "Aw, she's pulling. We better get on our way."

Miz Pronounce: "Okay. Bye!"

For the record, this was the only time during our walk that I wasn't pulling.

"Tixie"

We (mostly Tall Human) had a health scare on Saturday. After a trip to the very muddy soccer field near our house for a game of fetch, Tall insisted on giving me a bath. Apparently, I smelled like "poopy mud."

The bathing process was fairly normal and uneventful until Tall was drying me off. She noticed a white spot on the left side of my muzzle. Thinking it was residual shampoo, she wiped it with the towel but it didn't disappear. She gasped in horror when she realized what it was -- a big, fat, white tick. All hell broke loose as Tall yelled for Short to come into the bathroom. Short came in and confirmed it was a tick while Tall started opening and slamming drawers on my grooming cart; she was searching for the tick remover.

When she found it, she nervously read the instructions and removed the tick. Once she examined it to make sure the head was intact, she pushed the remover, complete with trapped tick, toward Short saying: "I don't want to touch it." Short, who is normally overly disgusted by such things, took the remover and disposed of the nasty tick. They both examined my face, cleaned it, and applied some kind of ointment.

Tall fretted for the rest of the weekend and called our new vet first thing Monday morning. Fortunately (for her), they had an available appointment at 4:50.

I LOVE my new vet. He is so nice, knowledgeable, and answered all of Tall's questions. He also has a white standard poodle, so he understands where I'm coming from. Oh, and by the way, the tick didn't do any major damage besides leaving a hard lump. The vet thinks my monthly dose of FrontlinePlus killed the nasty thing 24 hours after it attached itself to me. 

During my visit, I learned that I've gained 3 pounds since Dec. 1 (no snide comments, please; it's all muscle) and got to play with Will, my buddy Trevor's brother. I think Will has a little crush on me. And the people who work there loved me and I got lots of pets and treats. The feeling is very mutual.

We left the vet with a prescription cream for my lump, a "super" tick remover, and a cool soccer ball that makes noises.

Thankfully, this story had a happy ending, which means Tall can save her fretting for another day.

Hollywoof: Fame for Dogs

This weekend, the humans and I drove to San Francisco to attend Hollywoof where we screened the world premier of "Sniff," a serious documentary depicting two British concierges of a high-end dog hotel collaborating on a documentary about dogs. The film got off to a slow start, but it transformed into a fun yet moving piece before my very eyes. I think I even caught Tall shedding a tear or two during certain parts.

A sequel to last year's sold-out fundraiser extravaganza, Hollywoof Part 2 is (apparently) the only event where humans can watch the films with their canine pals. Once we arrived, I made my grand entrance by walking down the green carpet.

In addition to kicking back with the humans to watch the movie, I met dogs of all shapes and sizes, sampled delicious food and treats, and mingled with the directors. I also received a bag of swag, which containted some pretty awesome samples. The Tea Tree Treatment Shampoo (for fleas, ticks, and hot spots) will come in particularly handy, but more about that later.

It was an awesome night filled with great fun. Plus, besides some minor barking here and there, I behaved myself as well as any Hollywood starlet would. For more fun-filled photos, visit Hear Me Bark's Facebook fan page.

It's a hit!

Rilo Kiley's popular song, "It's a Hit," is a pretty accurate description of my half day at day care yesterday. Seriously, I don't think it could have gone better. I bet you can guess who's still breathing a big sigh of relief even after more than 24 hours. (Tall!)

Speaking of Tall, she chauffeured me to the day care facility so I'd arrive promptly at 7:00 a.m. I remained calm until entering the building, but showed a bit of excitement when the caregiver human approached me. I was trying to play it cool, but I really couldn't help myself; I like her a lot. She took my leash from Tall and sent her on her way. Calm and collected spoo that I am, I didn't even glance back to see her leave.

The caregiver human told Tall she should feel free to call and check on me, which she did. Around 9:45, Tall called and one of the caregiver humans told her, and I quote, "Dixie is doing great; what a gem she is!" OMG. Can you even believe it?

In addition to playing with other dogs -- and playing well I might add -- I got a TTouch massage from one of the caregiver humans. It was delightful and very relaxing.

I had such a busy morning that I didn't realize how quickly time flew. Before I knew it, a caregiver human was ushering me through the playroom gates to Tall. That was okay though. I was exhausted and slept the entire afternoon away. Now that we know I can be good and not get expelled (at least not right away, anyway), I can't wait to go back to Pride and Pedigree!