Sometimes the bad parts of the world seem so overwhelming.

There are so many sad and depressing things going on in the news. People are killing other people, a natural disaster is destroying someone’s home or the economy is back in the dumps.

Even outside of the news, I see sad things. Every day I walk past the homeless as they beg on the streets. It’s hard not to look at them and feel as if the world is an uncaring, ruthless place.

It makes it hard to see the beauty going on around me.

But even among all this negative input, I can still manage to find something beautiful to focus on every day. In fact, there is a lot of beauty around you if you just look closely enough.

Seeing the Beauty in Life

Life isn’t entirely an ugly place. But we are conditioned to take more notice of the awful and negative things first. Negative imagery stands out; it’s memorable.

Think of all those horrible things you see in the news. There are so many images of war, terror and violence. They leave a lingering impression.

In contrast, the beautiful things around us don’t stand out as much. It’s easy to miss them if you’re not looking for them.

But there really is a lot of beauty going on all around you.

Have you ever watched the movie American Beauty? There’s a scene in the movie where a character is watching a plastic bag floating in the wind. The bag drifts back and forth and up into the air as the wind shifts direction.

As the character watches, he says, “sometimes there is so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it.”

It’s the rather humbling idea that beauty surrounds us. It’s here every day, only it’s hidden in the seemingly insignificant parts of our daily routine. How many of us would have passed by this floating plastic bag and never given it a second thought?

The character in the movie found immense beauty in an everyday item – a plastic bag floating in the wind. But can it really be that simple?

I think it is. There are many everyday things – things everyone else around me fails to notice – that make me feel as if the world is a very beautiful place.

He found everyday beauty in a plastic bag. I find beauty in my morning cup of coffee. It may sound strange, but if I pour my cup of coffee in the morning the right way, the contents swirl together into whitish foam that floats to the surface. If I do it just right, it looks beautiful.

Noticing the Beauty Around You

How many times did I wake up in the morning, pour my coffee like that, but fail to notice it? For that matter, how many beautiful things are going on around me right now that I’m failing to notice?

And then I wonder more deeply about my coffee. I think about all the people it takes to ship the beans here, package them and sell them to me.

All so I can enjoy a good cup of coffee every morning.

These people, whether they intend it or not, make my life so much better just by being there.

That, to me, is a beautiful idea.

A lot of everyday beautiful things surround us – only most people never take the time to see them. They’re all too focused on the tasks ahead of them or the routines in their life to take time out and look for them.

It’s as if they have blinders on and can only see what is directly in front of them.

It’s for this reason that I’m fascinated with some Andy Warhol paintings especially the ones that include Campbell’s soup cans and bananas. By putting those ordinary objects front and center, he’s trying to show viewers the everyday beauty we all too often miss.

That’s why I’ve develop a simple habit. Every once in a while, I stop what I’m doing and take five minutes to just look around me. I shift my focus away from my daily routine and check out my surroundings.

It’s crazy what beautiful things you’ll discover.

I remember one time in college when I did this. While walking on campus, I looked – I mean really looked – at the trees growing on the grounds.

I never really noticed before how beautiful they were.

I must have passed by them hundreds of times, but never gave them more than a glance. It was only when I stopped and focused my attention on them that I could recognize just how beautiful they are.

That’s the big difference between the negative images happening around us and the beautiful ones. Negative and ugly imagery gets in your face and forces you to pay attention to them.

The beautiful things in life require you to seek them out. And when you do take the time to search for them, you can find there’s a lot more everyday beauty around you than you realize. It’s just one way to bring a little more brightness into a world that can often be too gray.
photo credit: Steven Zucker

You might be surprised to read this, but one of the first goals I ever wrote when I created my first bucket list was to “learn everything”.

It’s certainly an ambitious goal – impossible even.  With all the information out in the world, learning everything would probably take several lifetimes.  And that’s assuming you could even pinpoint a finish line to the process.

But even if no one could possibly accomplish it, I still believe it is an extremely useful goal.

Journey to a Goal

It’s hard for me to trace back to the exact moment when I decided to learn everything. Although I’m pretty sure it started in my early teens.

That’s when I became an avid reader.  I got into nerdy books like Lord of the Rings and short stories from sci-fi writers like Ray Bradbury.

From there I expanded to more difficult writing including Edgar Allan Poe and Dante’s Inferno.

I still remember when I bought Dante’s Inferno.  I randomly ran into a friend of mine outside the store as I was leaving.  He asked me what I had just bought and I showed him the book.

He asked what class it was for and I told him it was actually for my own enjoyment.  This perplexed him.  Why would anyone read something like this unless it was for an assignment for school?

In turn, I couldn’t understand his distaste for reading.  From what I understood, he didn’t read anything unless it was forced on him.

It’s a shame too.  I consider Dante’s Inferno as the catalyst that started my love for learning.  The theological, historical and philosophical ideas were way over my head at the time.  It was the first moment I realized just how little I really knew – it was a humbling experience.

Why Learn Everything

The thing that made this book so powerful for me was that I took the time to look up many of the references within the story.  Some were quite obscure.

Each piece of information led to even more information.  The more I gathered, the more it became a driving force to find the next piece.

I became insatiably curious.

Since then I’ve realized the amount of information out there in the world is way too much for any one person to learn.  Yet, I feel as if there are three huge benefits for trying.

1. You make connections

There is a really eye-opening documentary by James Burke called Connections.  In the documentary, he makes a series of seemingly unrelated connections between various scientific discoveries and how they influenced each other.

In one episode, he connects the invention of bank credit in the Middle Ages to Neil Armstrong landing on the moon in 1969.

The link goes like this: credit helped finance larger armies.  The difficulty in feeding those larger armies helped create canned food.

Later studies into why some canned food spoiled led to new discoveries in containers.  The designs on those containers helped make V-2 rockets which ultimately put a man on the moon.

The invention of credit and the moon landing are separated by hundreds of years and are seemingly unconnected, but one invention set into motion the things that brought about the other.

This is what learning is like to me.  Learning opens up connections in new and meaningful ways.

The world we have today has been influenced by so many different ideas, inventions, concepts, ways of thinking and thinkers.  Learning helps you see how.

Almost more importantly, it helps you see connections to things coming up in the future.

2. The world (and people) makes more sense

The more you learn, the more you figure out why things are the way they are and why people act the way they do.

People especially can be complex.  Their behavior often doesn’t make sense; they’re often irrational.

You can understand people a lot more if you learn about them.

Think of all the things that go into making someone’s personality.  It can be influenced by socioeconomic circumstances, beliefs, psychology, sociology and a variety of other factors.

Learn about these things and you’ll understand people a lot better.

The world doesn’t seem as random or perplexing as it used to.  Things that once seemed irrational make a little more sense when you understand the basic underlying reasons behind them.

And what is more, I think if I understand why people do what they do, I get just a little closer to what goes into a human being.  Maybe I’ll understand myself just a little more.  It’s a way of connecting with my own humanity.

3. You become a better person

When you read biographies, you introduce yourself to real-life decisions and consequences people have experienced.  Those are all life lessons you can learn from and apply in your own life.

If a big part of success comes from experience, then you might as well read about other people’s experiences.  It’s the quickest way I know of to learn from successes and failures.

You can learn a lot from fiction too.  Reading fiction has helped me to develop empathy and my emotional IQ so I can better interact with other people.

Also, the more you know the better you become at making decisions.  You’re more aware of what’s going on in the world.

You don’t generally see uninformed people making the best decisions.

Impossible Goal?

It seems that the more I learn, the more I realize how much more I need to learn about.  I guess that’s what makes the goal seem so impossible.

Yet I still continue to strive for it.  I like to think of it in terms of that old saying, “sometimes the journey is better than the destination.”  While I don’t always agree with that saying, in this case it’s the best way to look at it.
photo credit: Ben Oh

We all want to stand out from the crowd.  Even Oliver Wendell Holmes was once quoted as saying, “Nothing is more common than the wish to be remarkable.”

Still there are some common pitfalls to avoid when standing out.  They’re ones we’ve all been guilty of from time to time.  I’d be lying if I said I haven’t done a few of these in my past.

But if you’re looking to be just a little more memorable, you might just want to stay away from some of these.

1. Never question anything

Unremarkable people accept things at face value.  They don’t question conventional wisdom or ask questions about the world around them.

People who do remarkable things are generally curious people.  They want to know why things are the way they are.  They ask questions like: Is there a better way?  Why are people doing things like this?

By asking questions, you’re challenging the world around you.  You make your own path instead of taking the path laid out by everyone else.

2. Don’t travel anywhere

What better way is there to get yourself out of the familiar and routine than travel?  It breaks up how you see the world and shakes things up.

When you travel, you meet different people and cultures.  It shows you how other people live which can be radically different from your own life.  Before you know it, you’ve brought back a little piece of their lives into your own.

The most important part is that it gets you reflecting on your own life.  Getting an outside view of how people live can give you an objective view of how you live back home.

3. Never take any risks

The problem with never taking any risks is that you have to take a few risks in life to get anywhere.  Every great accomplishment starts off with the decision to take a chance.

Imagine what life would be like if you always stayed in your comfort zone and only did things that were safe.  All you’d do is stick with what’s familiar to you.  You’d never learn or grow as a person.

The people who always play it safe don’t strive to do much.  Only those who push themselves past their limits will do more.  And that means taking on a risk or two.

4. Think superficially

The world is a complex place.  The problem is that many people think the world is mostly black and white.  There isn’t much room for shades of gray.

Living as if the world is like that is too simplistic.  It’s too rigid.

Standing out in a crowd means realizing that there is more gray than black or white.  The gray area is where you spend most of your time thinking and discussing issues.

It doesn’t mean you won’t take a side on an issue you find important, but you do take the time to consider all sides before making your opinion known.

5. Let fear make decisions for you

When you make a decision simply because you’re too scared to do it, you’re letting fear make the decision for you.

Fear won’t let you do things outside of your comfort zone or ones that involve a little bit of risk.  Letting fear control your decision making will mean sticking to the familiar and the safe.  Those are rarely paths to greatness.

6. Only do or say things because you’re “supposed to”

Are you doing things because you want to do them or because you think you’re supposed to do them?

People do all kinds of things like go to college, get married or buy a house because that’s what they think they should do.

Realizing that you usually don’t have to do things you’re “supposed to do” is freeing.  It means living life on your own terms.

7. Avoid taking a stand on anything

If you want to be unremarkable, you should agree with whatever anyone else around you says.  Don’t offer your own opinion or disagree with the consensus.  Let majority opinion guide your own opinions.

Unremarkable people won’t rock the boat by saying something controversial.  Even if they do disagree, they’ll keep their opinions to themselves so people will like them.

8. Don’t try new things

Imagine waking up several months from now and doing the same exact things you’re doing today.  The things you’re doing haven’t changed and you haven’t tried anything new in all that time.

Sounds boring, doesn’t it?  Someone who is always doing the same things from month to month isn’t going to stand out much.  After all, there aren’t going to be any surprises.

9. Stop learning

If you want to be unremarkable, you should avoid new ideas and ways of thinking.  Learning changes people.  The source for a lot of personal growth comes from new information.

When you learn more, you connect information together.  This leads to newer and better ideas.  A lot of people who stand out from the crowd do it because they have made these connections.  They have great ideas and demand to be heard.
photo credit: wesbs

A few years ago, when I was preparing to travel to Belize, a friend of mine asked me what my plans for the trip were.  Specifically she wanted to know if I had a place to stay arranged before I arrived.

When I told her no, she was aghast.  What would I do if I got there and there wasn’t a room available anywhere?  She wouldn’t have been able to handle traveling so far away without making those arrangements beforehand.

I guess that’s what separates me from a lot of people.  I get a big thrill out of not knowing what is going to happen next; it’s adventurous.

Adventure Mindset

I wasn’t always like this.  In fact, I was quite the opposite.  I grew up in a small city in North Dakota where the most adventurous thing you could do was take a road trip to Winnipeg, Canada.

It’s one of the safest parts of the world I’ve ever been to.  There’s really nothing to fear there.

When I was growing up, I was so unaccustomed to anything adventurous that visiting nearby Minneapolis was a scary thing for me.  The city is so huge and there are so many people there.  It was far outside my comfort zone at the time.

Of course, the idea of Minneapolis being scary seems laughable to me now.  After all, that’s where I currently live.

I can’t help but contrast how I was back then with how I am now.

When I was in Morocco a few months ago, I took a walk through a park in downtown Casablanca.  The city is renowned as being more dangerous than most places in Morocco, but I felt perfectly fine.

It helped that I had lived there for more than a month by then.  My apartment was just around the corner from there.  But still, this was a long way away from that child who wouldn’t venture more than a block away from his parent’s house.

Between that time when I was a child and now, something had changed.  At one point, I had stopped avoiding scary and uncertain situations and started embracing them.  Instead of seeing the unknown as something to be feared, I saw it as something to seek out.

Most people see fear and uncertainty as things to avoid.  They’re considered bad things.  Yet, they are important parts of being adventurous.

Loving Fear

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”  This quote sums up my attitude towards life.  Go out and do things you’re afraid of.  Run towards them rather than away from them.

One of the scariest moments I’ve had while traveling was crossing the Costa Rican border into Nicaragua.   The border was a confusing maze of metal fences, beggars and mud.  It was so hard to maneuver that I had to hire a local to guide me through it.

It didn’t help that I was walking across the border.  I wasn’t in a bus or car – feet only.  If I had taken a bus, the process would have been easier and less scary.

But even though it was scary, I enjoyed myself.  It was exciting to work my way through the maze-like border.

Loving Uncertainty

Crossing the border into Nicaragua also had a sense of uncertainty about it.  I didn’t know what I was going to do on the other side.  I wasn’t sure if there would be a bus I could take or if I needed to find other forms of transportation.

Arrangements would be made once I got there.  I was traveling into the unknown.

Once I crossed the border, I found out that there were no buses to take.  However, the local who guided me through the border crossing found a reliable taxi for me.  So I took that all the way from the border to Granada.

The ride cost $50, but it was worth it.  It was a unique and adventurous experience.

There were some scary moments and a lot of uncertainty, but it’s an adventurous story I’ll never forget.

I wasn’t alone while making this trip.  My wife was right there with me.  I could see how scary it was for her.  After all, this was her first time crossing a border in a third world country.

But in the taxi ride away from the border, I told her that one day we’d look back on this portion of our trip fondly as a great, adventurous experience.  That was over three years ago.  Today we both look back on it as one of the greatest experiences of the whole trip.

It might seem crazy to do things like this, but I find it fun.  When you face down a scary situation, it feels good.  You feel alive.

That feeling is something you can only get when you embrace and love fear and uncertainty.

It’s weird to think that I used to be scared of exploring past a block from my parent’s house.  I’ve come so far.  But the more you love fear and uncertainty and seek them out, the more adventurous your life can become.
photo credit: inottawa

“I would never be able to do that.”

“I don’t have what it takes to get there.”

These are some of the excuses I hear from people who tell me they aren’t able to do things others are doing.  For some reason, they see an insurmountable barrier between themselves and these people.

But one important question to ask is this: “why couldn’t it be you?”

It’s a legitimate question.  Is there a good reason why you can’t do what some other people are doing or are you just making excuses?

Seeing Other People vs You

Years ago, when I took my first trip to Southeast Asia, I invited a friend to come along.  He said he wanted to come, but just wasn’t able to get away from home for that long.

That’s fair.  After all, sometimes there are good reasons why you can’t take time off to go somewhere.

What didn’t make sense was after I had returned.  As I was showing some of my photos and relating my stories, he expressed a deep interest in seeing those places.  When I asked him what was stopping him he just flatly said, “I don’t think I could do it.”

The more I pressed into why he couldn’t do it, the more he resisted.  So I didn’t push it too much.

What was strange was how he discounted all my reasons why he could go.

I told him that travel there was inexpensive.  Transportation and lodging was much cheaper than in the U.S.  In one instance, I found a decent, clean hostel in Vietnam for only $3 a night.

He didn’t believe me.

I told him that places are easy to get around.  It’s hard to get lost as long as you stay on the beaten path.  Many people speak English so finding your way around is pretty easy.

He told me he still thought language would be hard to manage for him.

No matter what I said, he found a reason to discount his abilities to travel there.

It’s Not Something You Can’t Do

I’ve found that this resistance and ability to find excuses doesn’t end with traveling.  Many people will give just as many reasons why they can’t do other things.

People will find reasons why they can’t write a book.  They’ll find reasons why they can’t go to the gym on a regular basis or learn a new skill.  I’ve met some guys who see girls they want to talk to in bars and give many reasons why they can’t go up to them and start a conversation.

Once again, “why can’t it be you?”

The first thing you need to understand is that those reasons you’re giving really aren’t reasons – they’re excuses.

Admitting that it really can be you is important.  As soon as you admit you can do something, it changes.  You don’t look for reasons why you can’t do it and find reasons why you can do it.

When you’ve answered the question by admitting that there really is no reason why it can’t be you, you’re ready to move on to the next question: what’s keeping you from doing it?

Once you’ve removed all your excuses, you’re left with real obstacles to overcome.  These are what you need to focus on to achieve your goals.

For instance, my friend who couldn’t travel to Asia told me he couldn’t go because he was afraid people didn’t speak English or he would get lost.  Those were excuses.

Once he got rid of those, he could focus on what really was hurting his ability to travel: money.  This was a real legitimate obstacle for why he couldn’t go.

From there he could implement a plan to cut his costs or earn extra money.  He could set a rule to set aside a certain percent of his income until he reached a target amount of money in the bank.

It’s a much better way to overcome real obstacles and achieve what you want to do instead of brushing ideas aside in a series of excuses.

The same goes for a whole long list of achievable goals:

Instead of giving an excuse of not having enough talent to write a book, you can focus on the real obstacles such as finding enough time to write one or improving your writing skills.

You might give excuses for not talking to that hot person in the bar such as the timing isn’t right or you don’t want to be a bother.  But once you get rid of them, you can focus on your real problems such as a lack of self-confidence.

Once you stop telling yourself what you’re not capable of doing, you open up a new world full of things you can do.  Of course, that might mean confronting hard, real-world obstacles to overcome.  But I’d rather live my life telling myself what I can do instead of excusing everything away.
photo credit: BigGolf

When is the last time you gave everything you had to make something happen?  By that I mean putting a ton of time into a goal with extreme focus and determination.  It means becoming so passionate that you start to obsess.

If I had to pick one personality trait that helps me succeed, it would be the ability to become 100% dedicated to make a goal happen.  It’s amazing how much immersing yourself completely into a goal can help you reach it.

Becoming 100% Dedicated

I tend to have an obsessive personality.  When I find something I want to learn or do, I get carried away and think about it constantly.  I become so curious that I seek out as much information as I can.  This helps me understand subjects in extremely deep ways.

I’ll give you a couple of examples.

I’ve been a regular gym-goer for years.  Initially that meant lifting weights once or twice a week.  I kept in decent shape, but it was casual – nothing too serious.  However, I wasn’t getting as much out of my workouts as I would have liked.  One day I decided to do something about it.

So I gathered as much information as I could find about workout routines in the gym, nutrition, supplements, cardio and stretching.

Based upon what I learned, I built an exercise routine that would get me into the best shape possible.  My time at the gym went up to three times a week.  When I wasn’t working out, I either read about bodybuilding or ways to better my diet.

I was completely dedicated to getting into great shape.

All the knowledge I accumulated and applied had an effect.  When I put it all together in the gym, I saw results.  My muscles grew…and quickly.

Of course, becoming extremely dedicated doesn’t just apply to working out.

When I was in college, I studied French for two years.  I didn’t get much further than the basics because I wasn’t putting all my effort into learning it.

Several years after I took my last formal French class, I brushed off an old textbook and started relearning it.

I put hours into learning French every day.  I made flashcards to memorize words, watched movies in the language and spoke it to myself.  I even took out French novels from the library and read them.

I put everything I could into reading, understanding and speaking it.

And the results came quickly.  I think I picked up more French in a few months by myself than I did in two years of formal education.

The minute I knew I had reached a new level of understanding was when I started dreaming in French.

Putting Dedication Into Practice

These two stories highlight just how effective it can be to become obsessed and give 100% to a goal.  You can get great results – fast.

Before I had become extremely dedicated to these two goals, I had made little progress.  I was in decent shape (more than the average person) and knew the basics of French.

But I knew I could do so much more.

I was frustrated at my progress.  I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long to build muscles.  The same goes for learning French.

I realized the problem is in how you approach your goals.  The reason I wasn’t making much progress was because I wasn’t putting much into them.  A casual approach will give you mediocre results.

If you want to get bigger and better results, you have to put in a lot more time and effort.  That means increasing the intensity of your work.

I’ve learned that there are many benefits to being 100% dedicated instead of doing things casually.

• Since you spend so much time on it, you find better ways to get where you want to go.
• You gain a lot of momentum towards reaching your goal.
• You’re not likely to let things slide which is when a lot of your progress goes away.
• It’s easy to maintain your gains so you can lessen your intensity once you’ve reached your goal.

If you’re unsatisfied with progress you’re making on a goal, you might just need to put in more.  Put in time every day and get 100% dedicated; make it happen.  You’ll reach your goals in less time and enjoy better results.

I’ve given 100% towards a lot of other things in my life – understanding world news, travel and writing/blogging – for instance.  As with weight lifting and learning French, when you give 100% to it, you can make great things happen.  It can be hard to get into this mindset, but when you do, you can see a lot of great results.

What amazing results could you get by giving more dedication?
photo credit: Thomas Hawk

Show me the person who has never failed and you’ll be showing me a person who has never accomplished anything.

Failure is a natural part of life. We all have to go through it at one point or another. It can’t be helped.

You may not be able to change the fact that failures and setbacks will happen once in a while, but you can determine how you react to them. And it turns out that how you react to failure matters a lot.

The Typical Reaction to Failure

When I was growing up, I played little league baseball. I was an average player and was reliable enough to get a hit or two most games.

That is, until one day.

In one game I made several errors and failed to get a base hit. I played terribly; nothing was going my way.

I took it hard and questioned my abilities as a baseball player.

Every game after that was just as hard. In most games I was happy to not mess up.

I had gone from an average player to a terrible player in an extremely short time and I didn’t know why.

Several games later, a friend of mine also had a terrible game. He didn’t get any base hits and made an error on the field that cost us the game.

When I asked him about it, he shrugged it off. He said that the day was just a blip for him and that one bad day doesn’t say anything about his overall skills. In short, he thought of himself as a great player who simply had a bad day.

The next game, my friend had recovered from his setback and was batting like normal.

This story highlights the two ways to react to failure.

I reacted to my bad day by questioning my overall skills and abilities. My friend reacted to his bad day as a specific instance that didn’t say anything at all about his skills.

That difference in how you react to failure makes all the difference in reaching success. Here’s why the two differences matter:

1. Seeing failure as a reflection of yourself and your abilities

It’s natural to become a little demotivated when you experience failure. But when you see it as a reflection of your overall skills, you put that demotivation into your self-image.

Think about a beginner writer who gets a rejection letter. One way to react is to take it personally. You can doubt your abilities and see yourself simply as a bad writer.

Instead of telling yourself that the article might have been bad, you tell yourself that you are bad.

When you think you’re not good, you doubt yourself and lose self-confidence. That’s destructive thinking. That means the next time you make an attempt to succeed, you’ll be at a disadvantage.

2. Seeing failure as a specific instance

This approach means you doubt how good the particular action is – not yourself. That’s a lot less destructive.

The failure will still be a little demotivating, but seeing it as a comment on a specific instance means you can bounce back quicker.

Now imagine a different writer who gets a rejection letter in the mail. He figures the topic might not have been interesting enough or he needs to put more work into it next time.

In this instance, he puts the failure on the article, not on who he is. It’s easier for him to move past the failure and put it into the past.

Bouncing Back From Failure

These different approaches to failure were the reason I had such a hard time bouncing back from my bad day at the ballpark and my friend didn’t.

I took the bad day personally which meant I had a hard time shaking off self-doubt and the loss of confidence.

Bringing those bad thoughts with me impaired my performance.

My friend could see the failure as a specific instance and could brush it off. He left those demotivating thoughts in the past with that day instead of bringing it with him to the next game. So they were gone the next time he got back up to bat.

No matter what you’re trying to accomplish, there will always be setbacks and failures. This is not something you can control. What you can control is your reaction. If you don’t take it personally and consider it a blip on your way to success, you’ll find success comes to you a lot faster.
photo credit: Gustty

A few months ago I got back from Morocco where I had been living and traveling for two months.  Rather than quitting my job, I took a leave of absence so I could go back to my position when I returned.

This is the fourth time I’ve had an employer let me take time off to travel for a month or so at a time.  I wrote about my first two times in a previous post.

However in that post, I didn’t go into much detail about how I negotiated the time off.

Since then I’ve asked more employers for extended periods of time off to travel.  I’ve gained a lot of experience in the best way to ask in order to get travel time off.

So I want to go into more detail about what I’ve learned about getting a month or more of travel off from work.

Think Beyond Two Weeks

I’ve made it a point to explore the option of traveling for a month or more from just about every employer I’ve worked for.  It’s been quite enlightening for me.  It’s amazing how often you’ll get something simply by asking for it.

Of course it’s a delicate situation to ask for so much time off from work – rightly so.  You’re asking your boss to make an exception for you.  It should be done carefully so you don’t give off the wrong impression.

The last thing you want to do is make them think you aren’t dedicated to your job.  If you’re already on shaky ground, they might start looking for ways to dismiss you.

Personally I’ve never had an employer be mad at me for asking, but I can see how some might get upset with you.  I’d just be careful.

Ideally, there are three conditions you should try to have before asking:

1. Be a valued employee.  If you’re in a great working relationship with your employer, they are more likely to bend the rules to let you travel.
2. Try to make them need you more than you need them.  The proposals that worked best for me were in hard-to-fill jobs.
3. Have great rapport with the person who will ultimately approve the request.  Ask that person directly for the time off when possible.

Also keep an eye out for slow seasons.  Does the workflow always slow down during certain times of the year?  Try and time your request around that.

How to Ask

Presentation matters.  How you introduce the idea of having a month off to travel is the key to the proposal’s success.

You don’t want to tell them that your request is simply to fit more vacation time in.

It’s much better to tell them that you were just presented with an opportunity you want to explore.  It helps your case if you explain it as an opportunity that came to you rather than you seeking it out.

This isn’t lying.  A month of travel really is a great opportunity.  All you’re doing is reframing your request from another perspective.

When I made my first request, I told my boss that a friend came to me and offered to take me along with him on his trip.  I made my case to him that it was a huge opportunity and I wanted to explore options.

Tell them you’re just asking to see if it is possible and you want their help to make it happen.  Say that you normally wouldn’t ask for so much time off, but the opportunity is too good to pass by without even looking into it.

Don’t say you’re completely committed, but that you’re just feeling things out at the moment to see if it is even possible.

By explaining it as a huge opportunity that came to you, you’re establishing two things:

1. You’re in the exploratory phase and nothing has been decided yet.  Since you haven’t made any firm commitments, there isn’t much they can be mad about.
2. It’s a unique circumstance.  This isn’t going to be a request you’re going to make year after year.

Be prepared to take this as unpaid time off or a leave of absence.

After you’ve made your case, you’ll probably have to wait.  Even when I’ve got a no, the supervisor took a few days to look into it.  In the meantime, be patient and wait for a response.

Whatever response you get back, this will be your one shot.  Get a yes and you’ll likely only be able to do this extended time off once (although I did get one employer to say yes twice).  Get a no and you’ll probably never get a yes from this employer.

After Asking

If you get a yes, you’ll want to continue your great working relationship with everyone.  This also means keeping in contact while you’re on your trip.  If you have access to emails while away, check it regularly and interact with people back home.

Keep reminding them just how valuable you are to them.  This will make it less likely for anyone to be upset that you’re traveling while they’re working.

There is definitely a risk to traveling for such a long period of time.  If you’re not willing to take that risk then I wouldn’t recommend trying this.  But if you’re like me and want to have more time to see the world than you’re getting, it’s often a risk worth taking.
photo credit: fotologic