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Quote of the Day (2015-06-22)

2015-06-22T06:16:00.001-05:00

All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-06-21)

2015-06-21T06:16:00.001-05:00

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg: What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2015-06-20)

2015-06-20T06:16:00.001-05:00

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-06-19)

2015-06-19T06:16:00.001-05:00

Frasier: God, I hate lawyers.

Niles: Me, too. But they make wonderful patients: they have excellent health insurance and they never get better.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2015-06-17)

2015-06-17T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jim Hacker: "Sir Mark thinks there maybe votes in it. And if so, I don't intend to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Sir Humphrey: "I put it to you, Minister, that you are looking a Trojan Horse in the mouth."

Jim Hacker: "If we look closely at this gift horse, we'll find it's full of Trojans?"

Bernard Woolley: "If you had looked a Trojan Horse in the mouth, Minister, you would have found Greeks inside. Well the point is that it was the Greeks that gave the Trojan Horse to the Trojans, so technically it wasn't a Trojan Horse at all, it was a Greek Horse. Hence the tag Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes which you recall is usually, and somewhat inaccurately translated as Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Or doubtless you would have recalled had you not attended the LSE. [...] No well, the point is, Minister, that just as the Trojan Horse was in fact Greek, what you describe as a Greek tag is in fact Latin. It's obvious really, the Greeks would never suggest bewaring of themselves if one used such a participle, bewaring that is, and it is clearly Latin, not because Timeo ends in 'o', because the Greek first person also ends in 'o'. Though actually, there is a Greek word called Timao meaning I honour. But the 'os' ending is a nominative singular termination of the second declension in Greek, and an accusative plural in Latin of course, though actually Danaos is not only the Greek for Greek but also the Latin for Greek, it is very interesting really."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-06-16)

2015-06-16T06:16:00.001-05:00

Narrator: Do you want me to deprioritize my current reports until you advise me of a status upgrade?

Richard Chesler: Yes. Make these your primary action items.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2015-06-15)

2015-06-15T06:16:00.001-05:00

Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2015-06-14)

2015-06-14T06:16:00.001-05:00

George: "Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."

Jerry: "She's like a beautiful Godzilla."

George: "And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-06-13)

2015-06-13T06:16:00.001-05:00

We're knights of the round table

We dance whene'er we're able

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're knights of the Round Table

Our shows are formidable

But many times

We're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable

We're opera mad in Camelot

We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

In war we're tough and able.

Quite indefatigable

Between our quests

We sequin vests

And impersonate Clark Gable

It's a busy life in Camelot.

I have to push the pram a lot.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-06-12)

2015-06-12T06:16:00.001-05:00

Victor Melling: If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you... which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2015-06-11)

2015-06-11T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jerry: "Every time he tries to make a move, something screws up. Like on their first date, they were on the couch, but she was sitting on his wrong side."

Elaine: "Wrong side?"

Jerry: "Yes, she was on his right side. He can't make a move with his left hand. Can't go left."

Elaine: "He can't go left?"

Jerry: "No. I'm leftie, can't go right. What about women? Do they go left or right?"

Elaine: "No, we just play defense."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-26)

2015-05-26T06:16:00.001-05:00

Zathras: Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life... probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2015-05-25)

2015-05-25T06:16:00.001-05:00

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2015-05-24)

2015-05-24T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jerry: "What else did you two do?"

Elaine: "Oh, you know, girly stuff."

Jerry: "So, uh, flower shows, shopping for pretty bows, then back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight."

Elaine: "That's really what you think girls do, isn't it?"

Jerry: "Yes, I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-23)

2015-05-23T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jerry: "I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."

Kramer: "Really?"

Jerry: "We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."

Kramer: "So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"

Jerry: "Yes, we did."

Kramer: "Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."

Jerry: "There isn't?"

Kramer: "Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."

Jerry: "I can?"

Kramer: "Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"

Jerry: "What?"

Kramer: "You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"

Jerry: "Boy."

Kramer: "It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."

Jerry: "I'm glad we had this talk."

Kramer: "Oh, you have no idea."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-22)

2015-05-22T06:16:00.001-05:00

Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2015-05-21)

2015-05-21T06:16:00.001-05:00

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-05-20)

2015-05-20T06:16:00.001-05:00

[In California]

Annie Hall: It's so clean out here.

Alvy Singer: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2015-05-19)

2015-05-19T06:16:00.001-05:00

Olive Penderghast: Due to his "condition," Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2015-05-18)

2015-05-18T06:16:00.001-05:00

Bernard Woolley: "Now, may I just have your approval for this Local Government Allowances Amendment Number 2 for this year's regulations."

Jim Hacker: "What is it?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is a Statutory Instrument to be laid before the House. As Minister responsible for local government we need you to authorize that the revised Paragraph 5 of Number 2 Regulations 1971 shall come into operation on March the 18th next, revoking Regulation 7 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulations 1954(b)."

Jim Hacker: "What the hell does all that mean?"

Bernard Woolley: "It is all right, there is an explanatory note, Minister. These Regulations are to make provisions for prescribing the amount of attendance and financial loss allowances payable to the members of local authorities. Explanatory note: Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1971 ("the 1971 regulations") substituted a new regulation for Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations. Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1972 ("the 1972 regulations") further made amends Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations by increasing the maximum rates of attendance and financial loss allowances. Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations revoked both regulation 3 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations, Regulation 5 being a regulation revoking earlier spent regulations with the effect from 1st April next. These regulations preserve Regulations 2 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations by revoking Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations.

Jim Hacker: "And that's an explanatory note???"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-05-17)

2015-05-17T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jerry: "I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"

Kramer: "People do. I don't."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-05-16)

2015-05-16T06:16:00.001-05:00

Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, who is it who has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?"

Sir Humphrey: "You know that is a fascinating question. We often discuss it."

Jim Hacker: "And what conclusion have you arrived at?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I must admit to be a bit of a heretic. I think it is the British Cabinet. But I know I am in the minority.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-05-15)

2015-05-15T06:16:00.001-05:00

Homer: It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL!

[cries]

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-05-14)

2015-05-14T06:16:00.001-05:00

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2015-05-13)

2015-05-13T06:16:00.001-05:00

Homer: "To start, press any key." Where's the "Any" key?

Source: The Simpsons