DOG PARTY!

Trump declares comb-over is huge turn-on ...

2013-05-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

Trump's comb-over declared Independent Nation.

Trump Tattles Tonsorial ...

Do the Ladies love his Luscious Locks?

"The comb-over is a HUGE turn-on for a lot of ladies," claims Donald Trump. "It's all about doing a lot with a little!"

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON YOUTUBE

The famed "Triple Comb-over" from behind.
Photo by BostonJerry

Apparently trump put his hair money were his hair piece is. A public relations team has been assembled. The hairs in the comb-over were individually identified and numbered, then named. A team of lawyers petitioned for the collective hairs to be recognized as a sovereign nation. The movement caught traction and seems to be growing legs. Discussions are ongoing with the US State Department.

* CLICK for THE ANSWER *

But do chicks really dig the comb over stuff, Don-don?

Photo by Gage Skidmore

"Sheesh," he says, "are you kidding?" Then he adds with a belly laugh, "It doesn't hurt anything that I'm filthy freaking rich. The ladies love their hairspray-man. No more greasy kid stuff!"

Does the Triple Comb-over have symbolic or tribal meaning?

"Yeah," replies Trump, "It means take a hike loser. Get away from me."

Photos can be found at the following links:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ee/Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore.jpg

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Donald_Trump_hair_from_above_and_behind.jpg

Mike McKenzie 2013

Lotus Shoes in a Creepy Old Trunk

2013-04-25T23:52:00.003-07:00

Lotus shoes.
I know I am not the only collector of oddities with an "old black steamer trunk" story.

photo by Mike McKenzie

Many a tale starts with the mention of an old black trunk tossed out by the dumpster or sitting by the curb in an old alley.
The sticker on my steamer trunks says Trans-lantic-world-something-or-another. It doesn't matter what the trunk says. It's not the trunk itself that is interesting. It's what's inside of it that's interesting.Few things creep me out, but this trunk creeped me out from the first second I saw it.

Fantasy animals and fantastic needlework

A yellowed scrap of paper proclaimed that the contents should not be thrown away and stated, with bold double underlining, "Chinese children's costumes from before 1939."
I had some initial interest in this item, but I had put it away somewhat quickly without looking at the contents very closely.
That's unusual for me, especially with an item this interesting.

CLICK HERE TO SEE A HAPPY VIDEO!!!

The problem was that all the items were geared toward children.

Who knew Chinese foot binding shoes could be so cute? WTF??!!

Toy-like shoes. Fantasy shoes. Mouse shoes. Magical lotus shoes. Little costumes and items that could be used to do a puppet show or other imaginative play activities. Fantasy items for children who were probably all now dead or very, very old.

It seemed like a child or children's personal play items rather than costumes. It seemed as if for me the box had an association with a person that I would never meet and people that person met a very long time ago in a very different place.
The trunk sat in a corner for about five years. Then it dawned on me and I did some quick googling. I was shown photos of shoes quite similar to my costumed shoes. Then I saw the words "bound foot" and "lotus shoes."

The practice of foot-binding was banned in China in 1949. The eldest daughter of a family would have her feet bound, to be married to a player named later. Bound feet, no longer than four inches, achieved by an incredibly painful process, were a sign of wealth.
So creepy. So sad.

Mike McKenzie April 2013 Tacoma, Washington

CLICK My Name ABOVE TO GO TO YOUTUBE AND MY STUFF THERE

Peace Love Rainbows and a Pot of Gold (Newport, Oregon)

2013-04-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

Peace and Love and

Rainbows lead to a pot of gold (Newport, Oregon)

Is there anything more beautiful than the beach?

The majesty of a snow capped Rainier, perhaps.

How about waking up to a rainbow

on the crest of a wave

Partly cloudy with a chance of Unicorns.

I have a small collection of Walton Butts prints.

Living on the Sound, you know these scenes

Memo to Walton Butts --

why you no print no Rainbows, man?

When I see the ocean in Newport

I am renewed in the belief that the Great Spirit is alive

and has a plan for the world

Peace and love and Rainbows

leading to a pot of gold

(Newport, Oregon)

Mike McKenzie April 2013

Victor Victrola VI 1908 in Mahogany (ebay listing)

2013-04-20T23:41:00.002-07:00

I listed the family victrola on Ebay. I have to move and down-size. If someone will pay me a decent price, they can own a piece of history. Here is the listing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190827508078

Here's also a Youtube Video showing the phonographs and I play an Arkie Shibley record on it. Click the hyperlink proceeding this to watch the video.

Yes, I do believe this to be the rarer and more collectible mahogany horn and cabinet. A Victor VI from 1908. It's all there in good shape, even the matching hand numbered tag on the bottom of the machine. It is worth more than I am asking, but I would like it to go to a collector and/or appreciator.

This has been in my family for a long time. I don't remember exactly which bootstrap relative original owned this, but it was purchased in California. The talk was always about what a luxury it was at the time of purchase and how it took a real free spender to plunk down fifty big ones on a talking machine (phonograph). Yes, the original purchase price (no less than $50) is on the tag on the bottom.

It came with an extensive record collection. From dirty records to patriotic marches. Have you ever heard a vintage "adult" musical or comedy recording? Sheesh ... talk about cheesy! I remember one was about smoking a pipe ... and all the jokes were like "put it in your mouth" and "don't hold it like that, all the stuff will spill out." "But it's so hard and cold." Hahaha Very filthy for 1927.

Mom downsized and gave this to me. Now I am downsizing ... Chances are if you are looking at this, you know more about it than I do. This has always been kept in the house as a cherished and valued item, and it is in dusty but excellent used condition. Yes, when we were kids we would wind it up with the hand crank (it's NOT electric) and play records on it.

I think it still works. Of course I am going to give it a go. The last time I cranked it up it worked. In the 1970s we had to find needles for it. I think we ended up going to a sewing machine repair place for a certain type of needle.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190827508078

When I was born in 1960, this machine had been making music and engaging imaginations for 50 years. Now, another 50 years later ... here it is in pretty amazing condition.

I wanted to document this machine and list some of the memories I have of owning it and enjoying it. First, as a child I was always sternly warned not to play with the Victrola. I still did, but not when the parents were around. I did not break it ... but I did figure out how to open up the cabinet and see the internal gears. Have you ever seen something covered in 100 years worth of dust? I have. What is amazing is that the original mahogany horn is in really good shape. I don't think you see them very often and rarely in such good shape.

I had the best ear in the family. How do I know that? It would always be my job to adjust the speed to a correct setting, which was done with a manual radial stylus (terminology?) and had to be done by ear and hand.

In parting with an item like this, my hopes are two fold -- I would like to turn mom on to some money. She needs it. A thousand bucks is a LOT of money to her and she deserves it. But more than that I would really like to see this talking machine go to a collector/appreciator. It should be admired and cared for and fixed up. Anybody up for that?

Mike McKenzie April 2013
Tacoma, Washington

Here's one for you ... I'd like to see a rapper do some scratch with this thing ... talk about Old Skool!

No, not Ben Who, Ben Huh?

2013-04-03T10:46:00.000-07:00

During a reality show taping for Lolwork, I tried to inform Ali Luhrs and Paul Gude that dogs were imminently cuter, funnier and more photogenic than cats.
They were like, "No way."
I was like, "So, totally."
Then they got like all "we're gonna call BEN" and see what he says.
"Right," I said, "Ben Who?"
"BEN HUH!" said Ali.
"Ben, what?" I asked.
"Not Ben What," Paul responded, "Ben Huh."
"Huh?"

CLICK HERE FOR THE SECRET VIDEO

"Yeah, Ben Huh!" said Ali in that way she says things ... like her brain is going to explode from two cents worth of information. She went to Western. I went to Evergreen. Enough said. We're both sub-geniuses.
"What?" I asked.
"Not WHAT!" Paul said. "Huh!"
"Huh?" I asked.
"That's right," Paul shouted quite dramatically. "Huh!"
What?
*****
I am not really sure what I can tell you.
The papers I signed were many pages, and the production assistant did not give me a copy. The production assistant was cute and, in all fairness, I didn't ask for copies.
But I think the contract said that if they killed me, they would under no circumstances be responsible for their own actions. Really, it said that. I think it also said that if I talked about anything they would be allowed to kill me.
So, I think promised to never ever talk about Lolwork or the secret experiments performed upon me while they filmed Lolwork. I think I also promised not to divulge the fact that Iggy Pop is my fraternal twin brother. (Proof? See photo above.) Oooops.

So I am not going to talk about any of that.

I will tell you that I got to go to Gasworks Park and play Frisbee with my dog and nobody yelled at me to put my dog on a leash. That was cool. I keep waiting for Bravo television to show pictures of me and my beautiful dog on the boob tube, but to no avail. Back to Youtube for Zoozoo and Mike McKenzie. Pronto.

Mike McKenzie 2013

Namaste ... flyboy is check you out in yoga

2013-04-01T09:08:00.001-07:00

Flyboy was bored. Not even the big garbage can in the garage interested him.
"This is terrible," said Flyboy. "I need fecundity, body fluids and stench."

What's a little Flyboy to do?

Stuffed deep into the trunk of the car was the answer. A smelly reminder of sweaty yoga days long since gone.

"That's it!" shouted Flyboy. "I'm gonna check me out some hot yoga classes."

Mike McKenzie 2013

Four lumps of sugar to go, please

2013-03-31T15:37:00.002-07:00

"Four lumps of sugar to go, please." The policeman said to the Barista.
"I'm sorry, sir," the young coffee slinger responded, "but our lumps of sugar are for paying customers only and ..."
"Yeah, yeah," the policeman responded, putting his hand in front of the Barista's face. "...and not for police horses."
For a silent moment, the policeman looked at the lumps of sugar. The Barista looked at the sugar, then back at the policeman.
"Uh, sir?" said the Barista. On the street a horse could be heard, neighing nervously.
The policeman's trigger finger twitched. The Barista sighed.
Like a cobra strike, the police officer grabbed the lumps of sugar and ran out of the coffee shop.
"Uh, what was it again?" asked the Barista, looking around for a second, after the police man had cleared the premises. "Are we supposed to call the police on the police or just on everybody else?"
"Dudes," the old wise man said. "Call animal control."
In the distance could be heard the sounds of horses hooves, clapping the Earth like there were better places to be right then.

It's okay, my beautiful bunny!

2013-03-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

Fluffee was feeling somewhat glum that afternoon.

"It's okay, beautiful bunny," called the woman's voice.

"We love you and we want you to have fun, Mister Bunny Rabbit." "It's time to run agility!"

CLICK HERE TO SEE A BUNNY RABBIT RUN AGILITY!!!

Mike McKenzie 2013

I'm a happy bunny rabbit

2013-03-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

"I got it good," Mr. Peepers thought to himself.

"I'm a happy bunny rabbit."

CLICK HERE TO SEE BUNNY RABBITS RUN AGILITY!!!

My Dog Did What?

2013-03-29T16:12:00.003-07:00

I was talking to my homies on my cell phone.
I was at the dog park. I got a little bit carried away.
Perhaps I was a bit loud.
A bunch of people were headed over to me.
"Uh, it's about your dog," said the guy in the blue parka.
"That's not my dog. I don't own a dog," I shouted at them.

Click photo for the Red Dog Playlist

I made a bee-line for the exit, hoping my dog would meet me there. But I ended up cornered near the poop bag dispenser.
"We've been watching you," said this like mousy chick with yellow waterproof boots. "We're concerned."
I began to punch the digits for my lawyer into the cell phone.
"It's about your dog..."

"What dog?" I asked them.

Click the photo to watch Doggy Dress Up Playlist

They all stood there. A dozen or more of them. Various walks of life all unified in their shock and outrage. All them directing their attention at me.

Click photo to watch Zoozoo's Playlist

"Make it stop. Your dog is frightening my children!" said this tired looking lady in an unflattering grey sweatsuit.
My dog did what? "Zoozoo," I shouted. "CAR! NOW!"
Our car was pelted with rocks as I skidded the tires on my way out.
"What the hell was their problem?" Zoozoo asked me later in the car on the way home."I don't know," I told her. "It was like they had never seen a talking dog before."

Mike McKenzie 2013

All this stuff went to Goodwill

2013-03-24T12:29:00.001-07:00

Cleaned out the garage. Took all the baseball bats, helmets and balls and mitts to the Goodwill. My kids are grown up and I am so old I can't even throw or catch a baseball any more. I hope a bunch of kids get this stuff and go nuts with it. Peace and love and play ball. Mike McKenzie 2013

you are nothing

2013-02-16T17:16:00.000-08:00

You are nothing! Observed in a shop window in the downtown area of Portland, Oregon. Valentines Day 2013. You are nothing ... without feminist art. I had to agree strongly. That's correct! I would be nothing without feminist art. Not really, but maybe. I guess. Is that a weird thing to have to admit? This is the reason why I must move to Portland, Oregon. These questions must be investigated, considered and decided in a fair and objective manner over a nice meal and a long weekend. Cheers to all!

CLICK HERE TO SEE A COOL DOG TRICK VIDEO!!!

A lady never points and laughs

2013-02-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

So stop pointing and laughing at me. Ha!

HERE'S A COOL VIDEO FOR YOU TO WATCH

(It's about dog tricks)

But, just so you understand what we are trying to tell you, it has been scientifically proven that a lady bug never points and laughs. I think it is because lady bugs don't have hands. Learn from nature.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2013

You did not just call me a bitch

2013-02-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

Nobody axed you what you was thinking.

Nobody asked you what you thought. And, hell no, you did not just call me a bitch. Oh, hell no, you didn't.

CLICK HERE SEE A COOL VIDEO

snork

2013-02-05T20:59:00.000-08:00

SNORK!

CLICK HERE to see a video about TEDDY BEAR COOKIES!

Old dog from Texas

2013-01-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

Just a quick photo. Nothing much, just a quick funny. But you do know the saying, "Never mess with an old dog from Texas!" It goes a few planks under "All My Ex's Live in Texas," but gimme something new for crying out loud.

Hey - CLICK HERE FOR DOG FUNNY YOUTUBE VIDEOS!

Hey, Bite Me!

2013-01-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

"Hey, Bite me!"

Have you ever said that? Has anyone ever said that to you? Did they really freaking mean that they WANTED TO BE BITTEN?!

How do these things come about? I have no idea.

Jimmyjumpnjive 2013

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY NEW YOUTUBE VIDEO!!!

The dog in the photo is not mean or vicious. She was reacting to a signal from her handler. Yes, perhaps you could train your dog to make funny faces. That would improve the quality of your life, right? From what I know, no one has ever been hurt by a funny face and laughter is always best option.

Spoiled Children

2013-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

We did an indoor practice this morning. It was freezing cold outside like all the mud puddles were frozen. Kess the Tripaw was being awesome as usual. This is my friend's dog, but I really like her. She's just a little girly dog. She's so happy.

Zoozoo got a lesson in how to "back up." Seriously, if we stick with it Zoozoo will have another trick for her routine. All our friends were there ... Buzz, Gus, Kess, Suki, Levi.

We're practicing for a gig at the Vancouver Pet Expo in March of 2013. Better buy your tickets now!

Hey we have a really cool video out on Youtube! It's called Zoozoo Night Night Boom Boom. Really! CLICK HERE TO SEE IT!!!

the queen of Canine Couch Surfing

2013-01-12T16:01:00.000-08:00

Hey, CLICK HERE TO SEE MY NEW YOUTUBE VIDEO, ZOOZOO NIGHT NIGHT BOOM BOOM. It's a true story about a young dog and her dream to compete in the Canine Couch Surfing Olympics. So far today this has been uploaded to Youtube, shared on Cheezburger, and upvoted on Reddit. DID I MISS ANY OF THE STANDARD SILLY MEDIA OUTLETS?

Zoozoo Night Night BOOM BOOM by Jimmyjumpnjive on Youtube. Watch it today!

Perhaps we should snuggle on the couch

2013-01-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

Zoozoo snuggles? Is it time to take a nap?

Perhaps we could snuggle on the couch for a while before we take a walk. Just a little mid afternoon snuggle, okay? Then we'll have a snack and another walk and sleep and snuggle some more.

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

HERE'S A 10 MINUTE LONG PLAY LIST OF ZooZoo VIDEOS!!!

Zoozoo and Sheepy Spa Day at the Fancy Hotel

2012-12-30T11:25:00.001-08:00

Zoozoo and Sheepy Stay in a Hotel!

Let's go to the spa and get pedicures! That's what stinky perfume ladies do in fancy hotels!

I want my toenails painted pink to match my collar and because I'm a girlie girl!

Sheepy wants a pedicure too! Purple urple color to match her wool. Yay!

Staying in a fancy hotel is really fun. It's a great thing for girlfriends -- like Sheepy and Zoozoo -- to do together. But after you're done with shopping and eating in fancy restaurants, what else is there to do? What else, ha! SPA DAY! SPA DAY!

These pictures were taken at the Westin Hotel in Portland, Oregon, an exceptionally welcoming and DOG FRIENDLY place to stay. The only thing that would make this place better would be a dog friendly swimming pool!

Four Paws UP! Jimmyjumpnjive 2013

CLICK HERE FOR A FUNNY YOUTUBE VIDEO

Pawbox Christmas Babooshka

2012-12-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

My Christmas Babushka

We saved our December +PawBox for Christmas morning. Of course Zoozoo wanted to play dress up! Here's a photo of my little tiny girlie wearing her Babushka (yeah, it's a dog grooming bandana) on Christmas morning. Aww, huh?

By the way, if you'd like to try Pawbox for your dog click this link PAWBOX use this promo code for 50% off your first Pawbox: Holiday50 (good through 12/31/2012).

Blue Dog really liked the green curry dog brush. And there were treats in this paw box too! Wishing you all a happy happy, a merry merry and all that bark!

Jimmyjumpnjive (Mike McKenzie)

2012

Blue Dog age 14 Party Animal

2012-12-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

WOOFY WOOFMAS!

The Good Boy Blue, age 14, still a party animal!

Ho Ho Ho

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

CLICK THIS LINK to see
OUR CHRISTMAS VIDEO

Woofy Woofmas Doggy Dress Up

2012-12-18T15:23:00.000-08:00

WOOFY WOOFMAS!

We got our canine Christmas costumes out of the closet and did some photos this morning. In honor of Mister Red Dog, of course.

Nothing says "CHRISTMAS" quite like a dog in pair of reindeer antlers. I don't know why. I can't explain it. It just is.

Peace and love and merry Christmas!

CLICK THE LINK TO WATCH OUR CHRISTMAS VIDEO!!!

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

Do you do "doggy dress up?" If so, let me know. There aren't many of us ... like maybe 5% of all dog owners have this odd fascination with dressing up their dogs. To that 5% I ask -- got any good photos?

Funny Sign - No Crap

2012-12-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE?!!

Is this a funny sign? Well, I thought it was. What are they telling us? Possibly that they don't want dogs crapping in their garden. Maybe they just don't like crap of any form, dog or otherwise.

I don't think that they're telling us, "No Dogs." I would assume that they don't want any one, and especially dogs, engaged in the act of crapping ... that seems almost certain. It looks as if the dog is okay so long as it doesn't take a crap. I guess. I'm not sure. That's sort of what makes it funny. No shit, it's funny, right?

Jimmyjumpnjive 2012

CHECK OUT THIS REALLY COOL VIDEO!!!!!!