DoggieBlog Review - 2 FUNNY DOGS are the ROGER EBERTS of DOG MOVIES & DOG TV

Ok. Now we're impressed.

2009-09-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: I've got a call into Pete. I'm trying to hire him for a few lessons. He looks like we could be related. The coolest part? No helmet!

doggieblogreview ? OK. Here ya go Pete!

is that alan or steve?

2009-09-07T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: I wasn't sure what the first thing was... but I know I wanted to chase it! And I don't even know who Alan is... It's just sharking!

4 biggies-

End of summer... underwater dog

2009-09-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

Susha: I don't get the audio part, but the video was compelling. I watched and watched as that dog seemed to fly through the air. Except it wasn't air at all.

Love the way he does it.

4 paws.

somebody help this poor puppy...

2009-09-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

Susha: Hey. Cameraman. Just help the poor guy... Oh, you are evil.

He gets the 4 paws...

the cameraman gets zilch.

When it's just TOO dee-lish...

2009-09-02T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hey. I can see myself in your china.

He's a genius, or i'm getting sleepy..............

2009-08-31T07:42:00.000-07:00

Susha: This story... well? I will comment on it but first, I'm feeling a little sleepy. I was going to review this performance but... but...

ahh.... slw oql[c, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Snore.

(Sebastien: She's completely out. Good thing I didn't listen. But since mom's sawing logs, this video deserves 4 paws.)

So we tried reviewing star trek

2009-08-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

My aunt had one of those...

Sebastien: Now you know why we don't usually review space movies. Simply stated? They're ultra-mega boring to dogs. Dogs and space movies go together like... pineapple chutney and velcro. There are no puppies, chewies, or carpets in this movie, either.

Is it me or is this a still photo?

Regardless... 1 paw.

Mothers will be mothers...

2009-08-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: Well... it just shows you how great we canines are. That's it.

This one's easy:

don't ever get your dog one of these...

2009-08-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

Pootrap. Creative or Evil?

Susha: I've received many gifts in my time. Most were rawhide, chewy, oral-based thingies.

Sometimes it might have been the gift of a simple pupperoni treat, or a sweet caress on my ears.

But do I need to even say it?

Get me a gift like this one and I may have to begin leaving Master little log cabins BEFORE we go for our walk.

That device looks like something from a biped porn film... which we don't review.

Please. Do we need to get the ASPCA involved?

Don't make us wear these. We've been doing just fine since we became domesticated... mostly.

It is a great video though, and we couldn't figure out the accent, but as a product? The POOTRAP gets a measly 1paw.

HOWEVER:

If you're considering a gift that we ACTUALLY might enjoy...

these are nice:

man's best friend.

2009-08-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: My Master's dad sent us this. We had to repost for you!

A story for all you dog lovers.

And I do warn you bipeds, that it is a ‘KLEENEX’ type story.

Subject: Reggie

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie as I looked at him lying in his pen. the shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to. And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls - he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he settled in. but it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name - sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth of fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search mode for my cellphone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me."

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter.. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction - maybe "glared" is more accurate - and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down. With his back to me.

Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.

But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice.".........

______________________________________

Whoever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter. He knew something was different. I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong... which is why I have to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls. the more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again: Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay," "come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down - I bet you could work on that with him some more. He knows "ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business.

I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car - I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be around people, and me most especially.

Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you.... His name's not Reggie.

I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading it, well... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.

His real name is Tank.

Because that is what I drive.

Again, if you're reading this and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't=2 0make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter... in the "event"... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word.

Well, this letter is getting to be downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family. but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.

That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things... and to keep those terrible people from coming over here. If I had to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He was my example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter. I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you, Paul Mallory

__________________________________

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat20in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.

"Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball? His ears perked again. "Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?" Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.

And when he came back , he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Susha and I give this the coveted DOUBLE 4paw achievement award!

Oh, the horror... more puppet cruelty to dogs

2009-08-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

Susha Yes. Again it happens. A puppet goes off RIDICULING dogs and dog hotels. This is becoming a very bad trend. Why are dogs the targets of all of these puppet rants? We have our DOGNITY!

Protect our honor. Reject puppet cruelty to dogs. Whenever and wherever you find it... it leaves a bad taste in our mouth, not unlike poop.

Sorry Triumph. We poop in your general direction.

NO PAW AWARDS FOR YOU.

Niceness... now available for stanky hand puppets.

I'll give you 1 bark, but NO PAWS.

dog cruelty BY PUPPETS!

2009-08-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: This is an OUTRAGE! The pure evil of it all... I'll admit it leaves me BARKLESS.

Imagine any of our 4-legged canine friends being abused like this. What are we? Horses? I think not.

Let's raise the bar and just concur: Puppet Rodeos using dogs are politically incorrect and ultimately nauseating.

There. I've said it.

ZERO PAWS for the puppets.

Hot Spot. Shot. Doggie Health Care!

2009-08-14T13:14:00.000-07:00

Susha: It happens. I'm not proud about it. But I am a doggieblogger, so I will share. Somehow, I started chewing on my back leg and did a nice butt mohawk. Master wasn't pleased, and took me to see Dr. Lisa at Malibu Coast Animal Hospital.

Dr. Lisa sat right down with me and I found her particularly easy to communicate with. She told Master I was very "friskafied for a 8 yr old Jack Russell Terrorist". We bonded a bit, and she mentioned that she and her cat enjoy watching "Dexter". My Master tries to get me to watch it, but it's a bit "biped" for me. Perhaps we'll review the new season.

Meanwhile, the good Dr. Lisa even had one of those jerky treats I love so much. I'm not sure, but while I was chewing, I think she gave me a shot.

Anyway, she said I'd be fine, but might want to wear a satellite dish on my head for a few days so that I won't be able to "re-adjust" my leg & butt hair. Master & I picked the "soft blue one"... way more bonnet-like, and I dare say, a bold fashion statement, even if a bit awkward. We left with some antibiotics and cream, and headed out to the car.

Master put down the window, and I attempted to stick my big blue head out in typical doggie fashion. Suddenly, a man approached my window, and peaked in at me in my blue getup... Master says this man's name is Dick Van Dyke, the master of a wired hair terrier.

He was very nice to me, and for some reason, seemed interested and somewhat amused when Master mentioned that I review Dog TV shows and films. Bipeds are so naturally curious.

So... I'm way better now, and it's only been 24 hours... human time. Oh, and I nearly forgot to mention, props to my pal Shizzle, a Bernese Mountain doggie who referred me to Dr. Lisa. Good looking out Shiz!

So, to the Malibu Coast Animal Hospital,

4paws!

The Health Care Debate: From A Dog's Point of vew

2009-08-14T12:37:00.000-07:00

Susha: You might find this funny, but it's true. I'm not a political-type doggie, but all this talk about health care got me to wondering... what about us? What are we? Chopped liver? Why shouldn't dogs get free government health care too? Don't we have the right to good health?

Well... perhaps there is a smart BIPED out there after all. It seems that a congressman from Michigan wants pet owners to get a $3500 tax credit for pets. Think of all of the extra kibble, chew toys and fresh tennis balls we could get if Master didn't have to spend his hard earned cash on vet bills.

And just because it isn't in that U.S. Constitution thingy, doesn't mean we don't deserve it anyway! We're great pets damn it!

So, good looking out Thad!

Very productive and instructive way to make a point.

You get the big 4! Our highest rating. 4paws!

(Here's the orginal article)

Tax Deductible Pet Care

Posted By Marina Hanes On August 11, 2009 @ 6:00 am In .. By Marina,

How would you feel if pet care expenses were tax deductible? Would you feel like you could be a more responsible pet owner? Maybe people wouldn’t feel like they have to give up their pets because they lost their job. According to The Michigan Messenger , U.S. Rep. Thaddeus McCotter introduced legislation on July 31, which proposes to make pet expenses tax deductible. You might be able to schedule that much needed veterinarian appointment sooner than you think.

In order for this legislation to work, the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 will need to be amended to allow for such a change. The legislation is cited as the Humanity and Pets Partnered Through the Years (HAPPY) Act . The act references that from 2007-2008, 63 percent of American households owned a pet, and pets have a positive impact on people.

The maximum deduction is $3,500, and qualified pet care expenses are defined as the following: “amounts paid in connection with providing care (including veterinary care) for a qualified pet other than any expense in connection with the acquisition of the qualified pet.” A qualified pet is defined as, “a legally owned, domesticated, live animal.” Exceptions to the act would be animals used for research or those used for trade or business. For now, H.R. 3501 has been referred to the House Committee on Ways and Means.

The Pet Industry Joint Advisory Council (PIJAC), a trade association that represents the pet industry and animal issues, is supporting this new legislation. The PIJAC has been involved in the pet industry for 40 years, and they keep up to date on all government affairs relating to animals including aquatic life, birds, dogs, cats, reptiles and amphibians and small mammals.

Although the HAPPY Act could provide some relief for pet owners, it’s peculiar that the individual presenting this bill is opposed to national health care reform. Making health care more available for pets and people seems like an issue that would go hand in hand, so it’s questionable why there is such a disconnect here.

If the bill ends up being passed, the effective date would apply to taxable years beginning after December 31, 2009. To check on the status of this legislation, go to the Library of Congress for updates.

We're back...

2009-08-08T00:15:00.000-07:00

Susha: Master got even with us. Put us in a doggie hotel. (The Sandpiper) Although, it was actually pretty nice. I'll admit it. We've stayed there before. It overlooks the Pacific Ocean, right near Cher's... (that's right, the "she got you babe" Cher) in Malibu so how bad could it be?

Sebastien: Hey gang. Funny thing. I seemed to be the hit. And oddly enough, with all the breeds and both sexes. Not that there's anything wrong with it... Let's just say that the bath before we got picked up to go home was very appreciated.

But that's it. We'll be back to reviewing a whole lot of TV stuff over the weekend. Master's "RECORD FINGER" has been very active while away on vacation, so it's up to mom and me to blog away with the reviews. Lots to come... lots to comers!

By the way... our review of the Sand Piper Pet Hotel?

Top notch!

Doggie Math? See it to believe it.

2009-07-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: We watched closely. No visible wires or headphones. I believe that this show, which is produced by Disney, has had some serious pixel animitronic manipulation or something. They honestly want us to believe that?

Actually? We both believe it. Because as they say... JACK RUSSELLS are smart.

Look at us? Blogging. The miracles never cease.

4 paws for Regis, Kelly, and more imPAWtently, Maggie. Bark On, bark-on-ers.

Why dogs shouldn't OVER exercise...

2009-07-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

Dogs needs more tv and less working out.

We watch a lot of dog tv and dog movies, we write our little doggie reviews, and we get plenty of exercise... but we're not obsessive compulsive about it.

Not that there's anything wrong with it... wink wink.

CELEBRITY LOOK ALIKE- SUSHA AND FRIDAY (HOTEL FOR DOGS)

2009-07-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

SUSHA: Everyone tells me I look like Friday from Hotel For Dogs, but honestly... I don't see it. Love the movie though. Check out our review from last month in our blog archives.

By the way, here's a shot of me taking the Regis and Kelly PUP QUIZ.

This was so easy a human could get it right... But fun to watch nonetheless.

bark-to-text translator? That's ruff!

2009-07-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

SEBASTIEN: What are we trying to say? Many humans who don't read DOGGIE BLOG REVIEW may be wondering.

Well, for those bipeds who must know... (or must believe) what we canines are barking about... check this out.

Technically, you'd call this type of technology "BARK-TO-TEXT"... but I'm sure the humans will be surprised just how much we bark about the taste of toilet water, why the couch is superior to the floor, and why we enjoy watching Hotel For Dogs over and over again.

Apparently, this product has appeared on Oprah and other shows. It's had some publicity over the years and they've just introduced this brand new version. Good, because the other versions have gotten lukewarm reviews from what we've read. (Yeah... reading dogs. Go figure.)

However, this NEW Bowlingual translator is only available in Japanese. We'll just have to hold off on that dog-to-man discussion about the nature of the universe. A wagging tail will have to suffice, unless you can go along for Master's next sushi run.

Bow Lingual - Bark On, Bark-on-ers.

Puppies Love Blackberries

2009-07-28T08:28:00.000-07:00

SEBASTIEN: We are so lucky that WE didn't do this...

SUSHA: This is a waste of time. Let's do a review. Anyone can eat a cell phone. Next case...

Doggie Butt Rap? Awesome or Evil?

2009-07-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

SEBASTIEN: Now THIS is a greeting! My sniff reflex is getting revved up. "It's the newest craze sweeping the nation... " That's what the lyrics say. I'd have to agree. Can't wait to try this with Master's Ray-bans. I call this one AWESOME.

SUSHA: Frankly? I find this a bit exploitative. I mean c'mon... it's just a series of doggie butts, set to a snappy beat, with shades. I could do this with my EYES closed. Show me something impressive and not so obvious. It's dark, disturbing, and all in all? I'd call this one EVIL.

SEBASTIEN: Whoa mom... lighten up. It's just a funny video. Since I get to rate this one...

I give it these buttsters the coveted DBR 4 paw review.

Gaines Burgers... WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

2009-07-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

SUSHA: My ancestors often spoke of these disk-shaped doggie burgers. It was four-score and 4-legs ago and my only question remains. WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Sebastien and I would eat these burgers raw. No ketchup or mustard needed. Today's foods are just so plain and politically correct. I'm outtie. Master's offering a PUPPERONI.

CLASSIC doggie blog review rating:

Fake arms on the tube... a review

2009-07-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

Sebastien: I've got to say, this one made me laugh. Coming from a Jack Russell Terrier? That's high praise.

I'm not sure how they did those special effects, but humans do the darndest things.

Anyway, before I head out the doggie door to do what I do out there, I give paw-props to Jimmy Fallon... Oops. Too late.

Dog Swinger

2009-07-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

SUSHA: I watched this in amazement. I respect my golden cousin's right to do anything she wishes, but this? C'mon. This one makes us all look bad.

We should be chasing sticks, licking ourselves, and wagging our tails. I'm not sure we should be shwingers! Sorry Sara... it's not you... it's them.

Dog Vs Panther

2009-07-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

Susha: OK. This is not really a review of the entire Pink Panther... but it is a review of the excellent acting by our 4 legged hairy friend here. He actually steals the scene from Peter Sellers, and nearly steals a fingertip, as well.

The clip startled me at the nip... and I dropped my rawhide chew.

Maybe a funny flick for the bipeds, but I'm talking unwatchable for more than a few moments. The jokes go right over my tail.